Greek: Law and Disorder

Greek:
"Defending Your Honor"

Oh, Greek. It's been so long, and I'm so happy to see you. I'll save for later the long, sappy speech about how much I love this show and how much I'll miss it after it wraps up it last season. For now, I'll just happily welcome back my old friends.

(And I'm back from an extended blogging hiatus in honor of Greek's return. I'm with these CRU kids to the end; as long as Greek is on, I'm going to try to blog about it.)

This was not Greek's best episode ever, especially considering it was how the show kicked off its last season, but I love this show and these characters so much that I don't even care at this point.

Highlights and my thoughts:

• How creepy is it that Evan Chambers is starring as the Craig's List killer on Lifetime right now? That's a big step away from hitting people in the face with a pledge paddle.
• Ahhhhhhh! They're graduating!! There were times where I literally thought this day would never come.
• HEATH!!!
• Dale: "There's Casey! I could spot those blond locks in the middle of a Swedish flea market."
• Casey's parents went back to the hotel instead of congratulating her after the graduation ceremony?! Those Cartwrights sure are tough nuts to crack. Lame.
• Law school prep? That seems a bit contrived, but I do think that Casey needs all the help she can get.
• Casey: "How am I supposed to look cute in this stupid graduation burka?"
• Ugh, Pull-Ups commercials. Advertisers seriously think that Greek's audience is made up of a bunch of toddlers.
• And now suddenly summer's almost over already! Time is flying by tonight, folks!
• Cappie better get his act together soon, or Rusty's going to have to get used to having Evan Chambers as his brother-in-law.
• That photo of Evan, Casey and Cappie with Casey in the middle is convenient, since she can just fold it to hide which ever one of them she's mad at at the moment.
• Betsy: "She does have over 20 years of experience."
  Rebecca: "So does Kirsten Dunst, but that doesn't make her movies good."
  
• Cute hair, Evan!
  
• How did Casey get a higher LSAT score than Evan?
  
• If Cappie really wanted to avoid this situation, he should have made his trip last until after Casey had already gone.
  
• Casey would really want to go to CRU instead of George Washington?
  
• Beccs: "Not everyone likes Casey Cartwright?!"
• Still loving Evan's hair, especially from the profile view.
• There are law school dorms?! CRU is just full of surprises.
• Why does this dude keep getting cast as a professor (first Greek, then Gossip Girl)? He doesn't seem very professorly to me at all. And he's always a professor who at least tries to have an inappropriate relationship with a student (Casey and Serena). Of course, he'll always be Joan's dumb husband from Mad Men to me.
• So did he write her a bad recommendation to CRU but a good one to GW? How does one do that? Or did she not need a recommendation from him for the GW application? This is confusing.
• Rusty: "You sound like Cappie. And Dale. And Calvin. ...And mom."
• Rusty's looking cute this year too.
• Eeeew, old sheets from the motel across the way?! Make a toga out of ANYTHING else, people! Gross!
• Go Casey! Stick it to him!
• I'm SO over Cappie--and I've only been watching him for 38 minutes. He needs to get it together, or this season is going to be tough to watch.
• Ash yelling "Yeah! Bye, Cap!" through Casey's phone.
• Now Rusty's looking kind of hot in his toga! It's a good look for him. Who would have guessed?
• Rusty: "Campaign promise fulfilled."
  Heath: "Calvin was already my boyfriend?!"
  
• Dale: "You did not just call me fat!"
  
• Dale: "Well, I can diet, but you'll always be ugly on the inside!"
  
• Rusty: "I wanted to punch you, but I couldn't."
  
  Cappie: "Yeah, I know. You've got weak wrists."
  
  
• Um, Cappie, you already DID lose her. You IGNORED her for an entire summer! He's scared he's going to lose her, so he goes away and hooks up with a lot of girls? Idiot.
  
  
• Mercy, Evan is cute.
  
  
• Oh, Casey. You can't stay at CRU forever. Why do you want to stay here? With Beccs? Eesh.
  
  
• Dale: "Why don't you like me?"
  Rebecca: "Because you're weird."
  
  
• Dale: "Why does the Greek system rely on...stupid skinny ties?"
  
  
• Oh no. Is the only way we can stop Rebecca/Evan by starting Dale/Rebecca?! I want Casey/Evan to happen something awful, but I don't know if I'm willing to sacrifice Dale to the cause.
  
  
• Is Casey going to keep living in the ZBZ house? That's pretty lame.
  
  

Ok, here is my official Last Season of Greek Wish: If Casey absolutely has to end up with Cappie in the end, can she please hook up with Evan at least one more time along the way? Pleeeeeeease!

photo: ABCFamily.com

Gossip Girl: Affairs to Remember

Gossip Girl:

"Last Tango, Then Paris"

I told myself that if Gossip Girl could string together a couple tolerable episodes, I'd go back to blogging about it. And the last two episodes ("Ex-Husbands and Wives" and "It's a Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World") have been all right. The show is much better when all the characters are together in one or two main story lines, instead of each of them being off in his or her own dumb plot.

So here's the blog for the Season 3 finale. Play-by-play first, then additional reflections:

• Oh, yes, Rufus, when your teenage daughter has run amok, the best way to handle her is to send her to the loft to live with her 19-year-old brother. That's fantastic parenting.
• And what makes it even better is that Rufus apparently never even bothered to call Dan to make sure that Jenny actually made it to the loft.
• Eric: "Go ahead and send her crazy ass away."
• Jenny, you should not sleep in that much eye makeup. That has to be bad for you.
• Chuck brings Nate breakfast in bed? (Is that breakfast? I can't tell what's on the tray.)
• Wow, Vanessa's been gone for like a day and Dan's already having "meaningless kisses" with "old friends"? To me, that says a lot about how much he really "loves" Vanessa. Not sure how he really could love Vanessa that much though. Especially after all that Tisch crap she was trying to pull over on him. At least Dan knows Serena will never edge him out for an educational opportunity he's interested in.
• Gossip Girl: "Spotted: A family reunion only Faulkner would approve of."
• Blair: "We all try on own clothes and are pleasantly surprised when they still fit, but that doesn't me we should wear them ever again!" (That's actually really quite helpful advice to me personally, because I recently made an attempt at cleaning out my closet.)
• Rufus: "Was that my Lincoln Hawk t-shirt Serena was wearing?"
• Who was the lady with all the flowers who was in the elevator behind Nate?
• It's May for goodness sake! Take off your winter coats!
• Blair thinks Nate and Serena are "mythic"? Did I hear that correctly? Mythic?! I think Blair needs to look up the definition of mythic.
• Blair: "Dan loves Vanessa, God knows why..."
• Dan and Blair interacting is usually entertaining.
• Oh, the elevator lady was bring Chuck's flowers for Blair.
• If you leave, Jenny, you'll get to be with your mom, so you'll have the shot of having a quasi-responsible parent. Which would be one more than you've got now.
• Wow, that's Serena's outfit for visiting the hospital when her best friend's maid is giving birth!?! A mini skirt and a shirt with a very plunging neckline and 4-inch heals? Is Darota giving birth in the middle of a Beyonce music video? Because that's the only excuse for wearing an outfit like that for the occasion.
• Blair: "Goodbye, Georgina. May God save your soul. Again."
• Wow, Darota's got a lot of people in that delivery room with her.
• Blair: "Hi, I'm meeting a young man here. Probably in a bow tie, possibly carrying peonies?"
• Well, what time is it? Was Blair late or what? Couldn't she have sent Chuck a text to say, "Wait an extra five minutes"?
• Noooooooo, nooooooooooo, noooooooooooo, noooooooooooo Chuck and Jenny. Noooooooooo Chuck and Jenny. Nooooooooooo Chuck and Jenny. Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
• Ok, Jenny, I'm sure you can find a way to "not be alone" without having to sleep with Chuck Bass.
• Well, Eleanor and Cyrus are definitely better choices for godparents than Chuck and Blair.
• Oh, yeah, Dan and Vanessa are REAL happy. The two of them together is just a pile of laughs.
• Why are Dan and Serena still hanging around the hospital? The baby's born. I'm sure they're free to leave.
• How long did it take Blair to get from the Empire State Building to Chuck's hotel? Did she get mugged on the way there or something?
• Why don't you take Blair out of the apartment with the crazy girl in it, Chuck? Do not mess around with Jenny.
• Wow, Jenny looks terrible! That eye makeup is sooooo not designed for crying.
• Oh, yeah, Serena, you being "alone for awhile" is really going to work. That will last for like a second.
• What a mournful cover version of Band of Horses' "The Funeral"! I am such a sucker for haunting versions of indie rock songs.
• Don't just leave her there, Eric! Oh, ok, he went to get Dan. I guess that's ok.
• Nate: "Yes, Serena, it is you." (Snap! Go Nate!)
• Chuck: "You know what would make this night even better?" (How I finished his sentence for him in my head:) "If I hadn't just slept with Jenny Humphrey."
• Whoa! Dan! Fists of fury!
• While it's nice to see Dan finally sticking up for Jenny, isn't it kind of a day late, a dollar short? Most of the year, Dan's been, what, completely indifferent to Jenny, at best? And now he's charging in to defend her honor?
• Sorry, Dan, I'm not sure I believe that this really "begins and ends with Chuck." Not after the tremendous amount of crap Jenny's been pulling all year long. She was in a bad situation of her own causing and it led her to make yet another terrible decision. If anything, this begins and ends with Jenny Humphrey.
• One week later... Blair let Jenny stay in New York for a whole week? (Was she allowed to be in Brooklyn, or was that off limits too?)
• So, even after hitting rock bottom, Jenny refuses to abandon the horrific eye makeup? That look is not working out, Little J. It's time to move on from that too.
• At least Jenny's train wreck of a story line only got her sent away and she didn't have to be mowed down in the street like Marissa Cooper.
• Of course the reason Serena wants to go to Paris is for the lingerie!
• Ha! Ohhhhhhh, Dan. And we thought Jenny was the messed up Humphrey.
• I hope Dan is smart enough to DNA test that baby. Am I confident that he's smart enough? Not really. Maybe he can talk to Blair on the phone and she can plant that idea in his head.
• CHUCK!!! NOOOO! Just when I was commending GG on not killing off Jenny, Chuck gets shot!
• How come when people get shot on TV shows, they don't react at first and then just slowly look down? Why does no one yell "OW!"?

Further reflections on Georgie's big secret: On second thought, Georgie's not even really pregnant is she? Earlier when she was talking to Chuck it sounded like she was in trouble with the Russians, and how would her having Dan's baby get her in trouble with the Russians? (The Russians have heard how annoying the Humphreys are and don't want there to be anymore of them?) She couldn't get whatever she wanted from Chuck or Blair earlier, so she concocted a new scheme while listening to Dan and Serena talk about babies. It seems too perfect to me that she's pregnant with Dan's baby right after hearing him say that he likes babies.

So, overall, this episode was an explosive end to a lackluster third season (which is so very like The O.C.). Did the no-holds-barred drama of the finale make up for the muck of the rest of the year? No. Does it set the show up for an interesting fourth season? Perhaps. I'm not convinced that it does, but maybe the show will come back with new ideas and a renewed sense of purpose.

From this interview with Michael Ausiello, executive producer Stephanie Savage makes it pretty clear that despite last being seen lying in a pool of his own blood in the street in Prague, Chuck is not dead. (Unless Blair's about to embark on a long relationship with a dead man a la Izzie on Grey's Anatomy.) Personally, I really don't understand why she gave that interview, which was published literally minutes after the finale ended. Why not let viewers sweat out Chuck's fate, which was one of the two main cliffhanger from the finale, for a little while at least? (Obviously no one really expects them to kill off Chuck Bass, but why bother to shoot him if they're going to assure us within minutes that he's going to be fine?) I said this after the Heroes people posted an interview explaining the Season 1 finale soon after it aired and I stand by it: Don't give an immediate interview after a finale. Let it fester for a minute or two. If your season finale can't stand on its own, write a better season finale.

(photo: cwtv.com)

**By the way, I'd just like to point out that the outfit Serena is wearing in this picture is what she wears to hang out at a friend's house.

Gossip Girl: Diplomatic Breakdown

Gossip Girl:

"The Hurt Locket"

Ahh, Gossip Girl. You've been away for several months and yet I have not missed you. To review, last fall I spent the majority of my Gossip Girl related blog space bemoaning that the show was displaying very little of its past awesomeness in its third season. Then the show ripped off Saved By The Bell by having its characters stage a modern, rhyming version of Snow White, and I just stopped talking about it at all.

I once mused, "Could Josh Schwartz make a show that I don't love?" I now am beginning to fear that the answer to that question is "the third season of every Josh Schwartz show." The O.C.'s third season--with mopey Johnny and cousin Sadie and Volchok and Ryan's one-night stand with a waitress and Kirsten being swindled and Sandy running the Newport Group and Seth burning down the Newport Group with a joint and Dean Hess and Taylor Townsend and Marissa being killed--was no gem. Chuck's third season, at least, has not be bad, but it also hasn't really lived up to the promise of its brilliant last few episodes of Season 2 (and other brilliant episodes in the show's first two seasons).

And then there's Gossip Girl. I'm not sure what to say at this point. I'm getting dangerously close to cutting it loose. I'm not as loyal with television shows as I once was. I haven't watched Damages in weeks because of time slot issues, and I still enjoy that show. I can't say I'm enjoying GG anymore. Also, I was willing to stick it out through The O.C.'s rocky patches in Season 3 because I loved the characters--even when they were doing stupid things that they probably would never have done. I'll stick with Chuck because I genuinely care about those characters too. But I don't care much for any of the residents of the Upper East Side at this point.

Back in the heyday of Gossip Girl, I used to write down line after line after line for my highlights and quotes list. For this episode, I wrote down one quote, and that was Jenny's crack about Dan's Cabbage Patch Kid, which was really just a retread of a joke we've heard many times before.

In any event, here's the play-by-play:

• They are trying to butter me up with some Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros ("Janglin"). Nice try.
• This expository conversation between Serena and Damien is insufferable.
• Oh come on. Are we still worrying about secret societies?
• Wow, Jenny actually spent time with her mother?
• Jewelers operate under a code of client confidentiality?
• Not sure if I'm bummed or glad that we haven't seen Dan yet. Oh, there he is. I think I was glad to not see him.
• Nate just said "Whatever happens, happens." Did he just accidentally get beamed into an episode of Lost?
• Am I supposed to know who this lady is? Was she on the co-op committee?
• Oops, I just fast-forwarded through most of the Dan/Rufus conversation and it was tough to convince myself to rewind and watch the whole scene...
• No, Jenny, all the girls are not going to want to wear pharmaceuticals if they look like that.
• Oh for God's sake, Blair. It's just a secret society. Get over it.
• Of course Serena pairs the drug jacket with a dress with a plunging neckline.
• Jenny actually looks kind of nice. Perhaps it is because her hair is actually brushed and not sticking out of her head like a bird's nest.
• Gosh, I even think I like Jenny's bizarre sparkly/spiderweb dress.
• Holy crap! The slit up the skirt of Serena's dress! She went to party for diplomats dressed like a hooker.
• Jenny: "Why would you take relationship advice from a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll?"
• Wow, Bart really is the gift that keeps on giving. He saddled his son with the guilt of thinking his mother died giving birth to him and that's not what happened?
• Now, GG is trying to butter me up with The xx ("Crystalised"). Play anything you want, GG; it's not going to win me over if Rufus and Lily are on the screen.
• Um, if Serena's having sex in a public coat room, I'm thinking she hasn't changed that much since boarding school.
• So Chuck doesn't know his own mother when he sees her? Bring a freaking picture, Bass. She can't look that much different than she did 18 years ago! (Unless there is some kind of plastic surgery involved.)
• Hey, Blair, if you want the lady to tell you what she knows, perhaps you should not turn and walk away when she opens her mouth to speak?
• OMG, I thought the show was over. There's still more. And it involves Rufus and Lily. Grrrrooooaaan.
• Um, why did Serena steal someone's coat and wear it out of the party? Why didn't she just put her dress back on?
• Well, I know I'm getting tired of looking at Bart's face in that locket.

(Photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Ripping Off Saved By The Bell

Gossip Girl: "The Last Days of Disco Stick"

So, as I was watching Dan's hip hop treatment of Snow White, I was struck initially by how insanely horrible it was. Then I was struck by how oddly familiar it seemed. I realized that Gossip Girl's horrendous re-envisioning of the classic fairy tale with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes was extremely similar to a re-envisioning of Snow White done with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes on Saved By The Bell. In 1992. What's more is that SBTB's Snow White was better written and better acted. (I'll admit that Elizabeth Berkley is no Kanye, but the "kiss me, mama" joke is at least funny. There was nothing funny about GG's version.)



Ok, so we've known for awhile now that Gossip Girl is not what it once was, but I didn't think it had come to plagiarizing Saved By The Bell. And, if the people in charge of GG had to plagiarize SBTB, why of all things would they decide to steal the Snow White hip hop remix?! They should have taken the plot line about when Jessi's dad brought them all to his hotel for his wedding and Jessi tried to sabotage it because she thought her future stepmom was too young. Or the time they all got locked in the mall with the thieves! Or, during Saved By The Bell: The College Years, when Zach faked an illness as part of a scheme to break up Kelly and her professor boyfriend and the clinic ran a whole lot of medical tests on him, which led to this exchange that still makes me laugh:

Kelly: "You've been through a lot today."
Zach: "And a lot's been through me!"

Ahh, Zach and Kelly...

Anyway, If Dan makes it in to Tisch's playwriting program thanks to his rip off of a Saved By The Bell episode from the early '90s, Tisch should seriously consider suing Gossip Girl for libel or slander or defamation of character or something.

Here's a list of my other thoughts (which, let's face it, is really just a list of other things that annoyed me):

• Oh, God, don't make me watch Dan Humphrey's swagger walk. Gag.
• Blair looks dangerously close to wearing leggings as pants! What is going on?! Leggings are not pants!!!
• Poor Leighton has to stand around and wait for 15 minutes while Ed gets his lines out.
• Dan is a COMPLETE idiot if he doesn't see how this threesome thing is going to blow up in his face.
• "Bitches of Eastwick"? That seems like kind of a low-blow in the week after Eastwick's cancellation.
• It seems like half everyone's life is taken up by trying to find Jenny a date to one function or another.
• Hey, Serena, when one is trying to not flirt with one's boss, it's best to not wear backless mini dresses to work.
• Serena hasn't felt like this about anyone since Jude Law in Alfie? She feels like this about Tripp? Not Dan? Not greasy-haired Aaron? Not Carter? Not that con artist guy whose name I forget? Not Nate? Tripp? Why?
• Drug deals happen via mini sailboats in Central Park? Really? That seems like so much extra work.
• Didn't Jenny learn her lesson last year when Rufus had her ass hauled off to jail? Guess not.
• It's true: Nate has been in love trials and did have an affair with a married person.
• What the hell does Nate's mom want with Tripp? Mrs. Archibald's been MIA for a very long time.
• Why would Olivia be Snow White instead of Blair? The whole point of Snow White is that she has pale skin and dark hair.
• So are we seriously trying this Nate/Serena thing again? The GG writers always try to start it up, but then it immediately stops.
• Why are the dwarfs all taller than Snow White?
• Please stop making us relive the threesome.
• How does Nate's mom know that Tripp's wife staged the fake drowning? And why would she feel the need to tell Tripp?
• Well, dummy, this is why you shouldn't invite your boyfriend's best friend join you in a threesome.
• Did Hilary Duff use to be a singer? Or at least a "singer"?
• Thank you, Chuck, for finally putting an end to this madness. Chuck must be so exhausted; all he does is go around fixing everyone else's childish messes. Now if only he could rush down to NYU and fix this mess of a Snow White production...
• This Snow White thing is horrendous. "Painful" is the word that comes to mind. There is no way people are laughing at this. Unless they're laughing at this...as in they're laughing at horrendous it is.
• Stop making us relive the threesome!
• No way this helped Dan's chances of making it into the playwrighting program.
• Wow, Nate looks moody at Tripp barging in on his one-on-one time with Serena.
• SERENA!!! He's still married!!!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
• Ha ha, "Poker Face" is about Cyrus. (Wait, why was Cyrus playing poker with a student-age Lady Gaga? Oh nevermind.)
• Too bad Cyrus didn't make an appearance in this episode. He would have helped.
• How does "take a walk" equate to "go make out in my office"? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Serena.

Used to be, if I started watching a show, I'd watch it until the bitter end no matter what. These days, for whatever reason, I have a much quicker hook. I've already cut out Grey's Anatomy, Fringe, Heroes, FlashForward, etc. Gossip Girl is now officially on notice.

Greek: A Cyprus-Rhodes Thanksgiving

Greek:

"The Wish-Pretzel"

It's Thanks- giving on Greek! There is a long and storied history of great Thanksgiving-themed television episodes. My favorites include The O.C.'s epic "The Homecoming" episode, Gossip Girl's solid season 1 Thanksgiving episode, the episode of The Cosby Show where Cliff had to keep going out in the rain for groceries, the fantastic Thanksgiving episode of Now and Again, the episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelai and Rory ate four (three?) Thanksgiving dinners, and the list goes on.

While it's a little odd to see a Thanksgiving episode a month or so early, I really enjoyed Greek's Thanksgiving effort. Beaver, Wade and Heath were hilarious. Evan was gorgeous. Dale caused some trouble...what's not to love? Oh, that's right, the ending. Sorry, folks, but I've been unequivocally on Team Evan ever since he stopped hitting other people's sweet little brothers with paddles. I fell off the Cappie/Casey bandwagon a couple of mini-seasons ago when I grew tired of their longing stares. I still like them both though, so I figured I'd be okay with their pairing, but when they kissed at the end of the episode, I realized I wasn't. It will be okay though; I'll get over it. (As long as Greek doesn't force the Evan/Rebecca pairing. I will seriously barf.)

The highlights and my other observations:

• Rebecca: "You could pay me to stay longer, but I don't have an electric bill."
• So Casey's going home and Rusty's not? Ha ha ha! Their parents went to Maui and Casey didn't know about it because she doesn't listen to her mom's or Rusty's voicemail messages.
• Hey, if Casey wants to sleep with someone, she could just sleep with Dale. Just throwing that out there... (Actually, now that Dale's back to his Christian ways, I guess he's abstaining again.)
• Geez, Evan's so cute. And that shirt is really working for him.
• Evan: "I'll drive! Get it?"
  Cappie: "Well, that'd be funny if you still had your car."
  Evan: "Yeah. You should drive."
  Cappie: "Yeah, I will."
• Evan's not doing so well with his attempts at golf puns lately.
• Rebecca: "You really do think that your life is a romantic comedy, don't you?"
• Wow, the KT house is the place to be! Wade, Beaver and Heath are all still there!
• Yes, it's okay for you to try for the grant, Rusty.
• If Rebecca has a rain machine, how can she even hear the creepy house noises?
• That's nice of Casey to volunteer by delivering Thanksgiving meals to the elderly.
• Ha ha at the KTs totally misinterpreting the clue about the pool table.
• Cappie: "'...I'm hiding under the trash can in the smelliest room of the house.'"

  Heath: "The bathroom!"

  Wade: "The kitchen!"

  Beaver: "Could be anywhere."
• There are an awful lot of people in the lab on Thanksgiving! I know they're science geeks, but this is ridiculous! There are like 30 people in that room. It's Thanksgiving!
• How did Cappie not know that Heath is graduating? I've know that for months.
• Beaver: "You didn't know, Cap? I thought you knew everything. I'm so disillusioned right now."
• Heath: "And if anyone's secretly gay and wants to declare their love for me, that would be the time."
• Cappie had Evan's phone number filed under "LAME-bers" in his cell phone. Ha!
• I knew that Cappie bailing on Evan would send Evan right to Casey! YEA!
• Yeah, I really don't think that Rusty would want Evan showing up to his Thanksgiving dinner.
• Beaver, Cappie and Wade's reactions to Heath's suggestion to steal all of the Omega Chi's underwear were hilarious.
• Beaver: "You don't want to prank the Omega Chis. It's like Bizarro Cappie!"
• Beaver: "You used to live for risk! And Shoots and Ladders!"
• Ha ha ha ha!!! That guy put on Ashleigh's hideous cloud cardigan!!!!
• Casey: "Well, looks like all he took was that one shirt. What an odd choice!"
• Noooooooooooo, Casey! Don't push Evan away! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! OH, I am so saddened by this turn of events! Wrong choice, Casey! Wrong choice...
• Rebecca: "I chased him for three blocks before I realized we're doing Ash a favor by letting him keep that shirt."
• Heath: "No Omega Chi is stepping foot in this house without getting pounded! ...by my fist! ...in the face! I don't know..."
• Aww! The KT's Thanksgiving meal is like the one in Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving! How adorable is that!
• Aww, poor Evan.
• Aren't there lights in this lab? Dale and Rusty are working in the dark! Rusty better get that bulb to light up, or they're not going to be able to find their way out of the room!
• The fractured state of Rusty/Dale hurts my heart.

Sometimes I am so in tune with the powers that be at Greek that I think they read my blog--like when they randomly bring back and ruthlessly mock Ashleigh's heinous cloud/rainbow sweater that I've made fun of on numerous occasions (such as here and here). But then they go and put Casey back with Cappie, and it's clear that they're not listening to me at all :-P

Uh oh, the preview for next week makes it look like they kill somebody or something. I hope it's not Fisher! Or Beaver! Or Dale! Or Heath! (Oh no, it totally could be Heath since he's graduating and presumably leaving the show anyway!)

I'm bummed that next episode is the finale of this mini-season. I'm going to miss my favorite college kids.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Gossip Girl: Toast Disasters

Gossip Girl:
"Enough About Eve"

So Chuck kissed a dude, and this episode was still kind of a snooze. It's like it's a new rule that at least two of Gossip Girl's plot lines per episode have to be almost painfully dull (Serena/Nate/poker and Vanessa/Dan/Olivia). I was even frustrated with Blair's shenanigans, because I had a hard time believing that everyone cared so much about who gave the speech at a freshman parents' dinner. I'm surprised that NYU could even get people to go to that dinner, let alone that it would spark epic battles over who got to speak at it. I don't know, I just think that if Blair's going to let her ambitions screw up her relationship with Chuck, she might as well be aiming a bit higher than giving the toast at a dinner for NYU parents. (Neither of Blair's parents even attended, which is a disappointment because I love Margaret Colin and John Shea, and Dorota wasn't even there.) Seriously, is anyone going to remember the stupid toast a week from now?

Also, have any of these students who "go to NYU" (or Nate who "goes to Columbia") ever actually gone to a class?

If the whole "Chuck kisses a boy" thing was a stunt to get ratings, it doesn't look like it worked.

One good thing about this episode was that Gina Torres a.k.a. Anna Espinosa of Alias turned up as Vanessa's mother. Unfortunately, the uncoolness of being in a Vanessa storyline tempered the awesomeness that is Anna Espinosa a bit. Here's a reminder of how great she can be. (The video's in German, but who cares: Anna tries to hit Sydney with the arm of a mannequin! Ha!)

Highlights and my observations:

• Chuck: "Bad dream? Don't tell me it was Charade again. I know how terrifying you find Walter Matthau."
• Aww, Chuck is so sweet holding Blair when she told him her dream was "All About Eve."
• Why wait to have Tripp run for Congress? Because he's only like 25 years old?
• Don't worry, Nate has an idea. Oh, I feel so much better now.
• There was a cover story on Vanessa on the cover of the NYU paper? Are you kidding me? Gag.
• Jenny (to Dan): "People like you more when they meet our family." THEY DO?!?! I'm sorry, but meeting Rufus would not make me like anyone better.
• Serena's dress does not really same day-appropriate. It looks like a party dress.
• I cannot believe people actually care who gives the toast at the freshmen dinner. I cannot believe people want to go to that.
• They were playing Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros' "Home" very quietly in the background during Vanessa's phone call. That song was easily the highlight of this whole episode. I'm a big fan of that song. They should have just canned all of this toast nonsense and these poker shenanigans and just played that whole song.
• Uh oh, Vanessa's lying. I thought she didn't lie.
• I didn't know poker could make for such boring television.
• Oh, nice work Serena and Nate. I told you that you should never feel too confident in one of Nate's plans.
• By far the coolest thing about Vanessa ever: her mother is Anna Espinosa (Gina Torres) from Alias. If Anna Espinosa is really supposed to be Vanessa's mother, Vanessa should be a whole a lot cooler.
• Oh, that Nate! Such a little sneak! There's no way Nate came up with this plan on his own. This was definitely Grandpa Vanderbilt's idea.
• Why is Olivia asking Vanessa why Dan doesn't want her to meet his parents, when Dan's standing 20 feet away from her right now!
• Ha ha! Dan just set the kitchen on fire.
• Ha ha, a kiss from Chuck Bass is #27 on the Tribeca Scavenger Hunt.
• Geez, Chuck's haircut is amazing. He looks super hot. I cannot get over it.
• Wow, this distinguished alumni isn't very upstanding. He had the "important job" of picking the speaker and he traded it away for a kiss from Chuck Bass? (Although, I can't say I really blame him...)
• This is quite a fancy freshmen dinner event.
• Why did Olivia change out of that pretty purple dress and into that way too tight orange thing? Ick.
• Chuck: "Keep up, Bambi."
• Wow, Serena can't even follow Nate's grandpa's scheme. It's not that complex, S. If she can keep up with all of Blair's schemes, she should be able to follow this one.
• Geez, Vanessa, piss off the few people left who can still tolerate you. Nice going.
• If Carter thinks Serena's going to give a flying crap about him in three years after he goes away to work on the oil rig, he's got another thing coming.
• Oof, that's rough. Vanessa just got a lecture on being a good person from Anna Espinosa! Ha!
• Rufus: "Dan, was that Blair on the P.A.? She really should have run that speech by someone."
• Damn, Chuck looks hot. It's distracting!
• Yeah, I don't believe that Blair's never going to manipulate Chuck again. Chuck should kick her ass to the curb.
• At least now we get to here some more of "Home"! It's helping to make all of Vanessa's screen time easier to stomach.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Marry Me, Lil

Gossip Girl:
"Rufus Getting Married"

I'd say this was by far the best episode of Gossip Girl so far this season. Unfortunately, that's more a commentary on how sub-par the other episodes have been rather than the excellence of this one. Still though, I think it's impressive how watchable this episode was, given the large amount of Rufus/Lily drama it contained. (I've been over the two of them since the season one finale when they decided they loved each other and she married Bart anyway.)

Highlights and my observations:

• I'm sorry, Dan, but your "say hi to Godzilla for me" IM joke was not nearly that funny!
• How does Blair know she hates Nate's new girlfriend? Has she even seen Nate in months?
• Since when does Vanessa not like Georgie? I thought Vanessa was Georgie's great champion.
• Blair: "Do you happen to know what the Swahili is for 'mind your own beeswax'? No reason, of course, it just might be useful on a safari sometime."
• Blair: "Trust me, Nate, I know women, and none of us are that nice."
• Hey, look, it's Jenny and Eric, just wandering around the apartment in a pack as usual. They are like the chorus in Greek drama--they don't really factor into the plot much and just pop up occasionally to say something that advances the story.
• Dan: "You've been running? With jeans on? That didn't chafe?"
• No, Serena, don't waste your time trying to get Rufus and Lily together. I, for one, could not care less anymore. Just let it go.
• Vanessa: "...and C, even though I tried to defend you, you're a full-on crazy person."
• Georgina: "That was just pathetic! Haven't you ever tried to get somebody to dump a celebrity before?"
• Rufus: "I knew I let you kids watch The Parent Trap too many times."
• Holy crap, Chuck is one hot masseuse!
• Blair's voice when she said, "Hey, where are you going? I have tension!" sounded extremely reminiscent of Cher Horowitz in Clueless when she said, "Even Fabion, my masseuse, said I had a lot of tension in my back." Like so reminiscent that it was either a direct send-up or borderline plagiarism.
• Vanessa's wearing a lot of jewelry for a long afternoon of Photoshopping.
• When Rufus and Lily see each other, they piss each other of in a matter of seconds, but then they both look at a photo, and suddenly they're in love again and everything's perfect. Uh, that's because the photo doesn't talk back, people! This detente is going to last for like 5 minutes.
• I still don't understand how Jenny can rule Constance with that hair!
• Oh, Jenny's used to making dresses in one night. Not sure Lily's going to want to wear whatever she comes up with though.
• I liked Serena calling the Constance girls "new mean girls."
• Georgina got Poppy deported? Was Poppy not an American? Whatever, thanks for that belated explanation...
• Dan: "Turns out, she was dating Orlando Bloom behind my back."
  Georgina: "It is amazing how far down that guy's Star-O-Meter has gone."
  
• Chuck: "I'm getting sick of being your travel agent. This ticket's the last, and it's one-way."
  
• I like Serena's dress, but it looks like she needs to give it a hard tug upwards.
  
• Jenny's dress is not my favorite.
  
• If Rufus is never happier than when he's with Lily, he must have been one tremendously depressed dude during pre-Lily. He sure doesn't look happy to me when he's with her.
  
• I'm not sure if that dress is Jenny's best work. It's definitely not her worst work though.
  
• Nice, Lily. Snap at the one child of yours who doesn't already know what a loser you are.
  
• Oh, yeah, Bree did mention that her BFF cousin was jilted at the alter. I remember that now, but I still don't care.
  
• Scott sure travels light. He came all the way from Boston without a bag or a jacket or anything?
  
• This is great; you just find out your son is alive and you just ignore him while you continue your previous conversation.
  
• One way or another, this Rufus-and-Lily-getting-married thing is going to make Serena and Dan's eventual wedding really awkward.
  
• Vanessa's an "all's well that ends well kind of girl"? Really?
  
• Yeah, Bree, please leave. And if you happen to pass Vanessa on your way out, take her with you.
  

Once again, Georgie proves ridiculously easy to get rid of. This time Dorota and the doorman took care of it! And, is flying Georgina off somewhere with the doorman really vengeance on Georgina? It seems like more of a punishment for the doorman to me...

But, seriously, Georgie liked Dan enough to go up to New England to hunt down his secret half-brother and bring him back, but then she's just going to drop the big news and skedaddle? I was expecting her to completely lose it and lock Dan up in the closet of her dorm room and make him wear funny outfits (a la Jan Spears on Days of Our Lives) or something. Frankly, I'm disappointed.

I had expected that Mercy would have gone belly-up by the time that Georgie's last episode aired, freeing Michelle Tractenberg up to make a swift return to GG, but so far Mercy hasn't been canceled (probably because there's no one from The O.C. on it) so I guess NYU will be Georgina-free for awhile.



(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Bidding Bores

Gossip Girl:

"The Lost Boy"

Ugh, another lackluster episode of Gossip Girl. Watching this show has become arduous and just coming up with a highlight list is no longer an easy task. The O.C.'s third season was the weakest of its four seasons; Gossip Girl is now in its third season. Coincidence? (It might very well be a coincidence, I just has to come up with a way to squeeze an O.C. mention into this post so that GG doesn't pass it on my "What I Talk About" list on the sidebar on the right side of the screen.) Fair warning: if a surfer named Johnny shows up, I'm jumping ship.

Highlights and my thoughts:

• Ha ha at Blair throwing the sock at Dan. Poor B--that would be a traumatic scene to walk in on.
• Blair: "Don't think you can run me out of my own room with a half-naked Dan Humphrey."
• Vanessa: "Please tell me it was Georgina and not Blair."
  Serena: "Please tell me it was Blair and not Georgina."
• No, Vanessa, you can't swing by his study group and grab coffee because he's studying with a group! Geez! Clingy much?
• Eew, Jenny's hair looks rough. Do Jenny and Eric now just walk around the apartment together, make a few comments, and then walk to another part of the apartment? Neither of them has done anything all season.
• Scott doesn't seem very interested in his other half-siblings.
• Dan: "So you're now dating Carter Baizen? Because Chuck isn't currently available?"
• I think the girl at the registrar's office forgot to finish her sentence. What she said to Vanessa was, "I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to give out student's class schedules," but I think what she meant was, "I'm sorry, but we're not allowed to give out student's class schedules to chicks wearing creepy snake necklaces."
• Doesn't NYU have an online student directory? Couldn't Vanessa just look him up in that to see if he's there? We had one when I was in college and that was a few years ago.
• Blair: "As opposed to me, who is an endless fount of do-overs." (Uh, that's kind of true.)
• Why doesn't Dan hit on one of those random girls who just walked past him? Anyone would be a better choice than Georgie. Is he seriously this dumb? This girl lied to him about who she was just two years ago in a strange ploy to get back at his ex-girlfriend. (Or was she his current girlfriend at the time? I can't keep up.) That kind of behavior tends to signify some craziness that you probably don't want to mess around with too much.
• Oh no, not another secret society... Can we not just get over the secret societies already? There was a secret society at Yale, then Blair tried to get into that society club that wasn't secret but wasn't very interesting either, then Chuck tried to get into another secret society during that horrendous filler plot last year that went nowhere. Sorry, guys, secret societies on this show never end up being interesting.
• If Blair thinks that "guys like Carter don't change" then how does she explain Chuck?
• What season is it in NYC? Bree's dress is really skimpy. Serena's appeared to be sweater material.
• Ugh, I can't even pay attention to any of this Nate/Bree conversation. It's like nap time built in to the episode.
• Wow, didn't think Scott would just come out and tell Vanessa he's Rufus and Lily's son. And then she just told him all about how Rufus and Lily looked for him. I'm impressed; all kinds of information is being exchanged. Perhaps everyone is just looking for the fastest way possible to wrap up this excruciating story line?
• Blair: "Pitty. I already have my bidding paddle."

  Chuck: "Well, I'm sure we can find some other use for it."
• Wow, Vanessa is a blabbermouth.
• Rufus "wants us all to be there" and "us all" includes Vanessa?!
• Chuck: "She stole my shoes?!" (I'm just as flabbergasted at what Blair has come to.)
• That's a nice pink shirt and khakis combo there, Scott.
• Ha ha ha ha, Dan thinks Scott is his stalker! Get over yourself, Humphrey!
• Did Chuck find replacement shoes or is he just walking around in socks?
• Why does Serena want the painting? Is it just an excuse for her to strut up to the front of the room and show off her super-tight Herve Leger dress?
• Serena: "Now, we've had enough of you tonight." (LOL, it would be funny if I hadn't already had enough of pretty much everyone tonight.)
• Does Georgie really want Dan Humphrey this badly? Why?
• Ha ha, go Chuck. Way to get back at Georgie's nasty MBA friend.
• Bye, Scott. I'm not going to miss you.
• Chuck's cashing his Bass Industries shares so he can buy a hotel? This does not seem like the world's best idea, but more power to him. It is a nice looking hotel.
• Now Carter screwed over Bree Buckley's family? Nope, I still don't care.

I regret not watching Greek during this time slot tonight.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: We Were Merely Freshmen

Gossip Girl:
"The Freshmen"

Well, I was looking for Gossip Girl to earn some redemption with this episode, but I don't think it did. The whole thing just felt tired. Every plotline tonight felt like we've seen it before or at least something very similar to something we've seen before. Plus, there was soooooooooooooo much Vanessa.

About the only thing this episode really achieved was getting The Verpe Pipe's "The Freshmen" song stuck in my head because of the episode's title. Still debating whether that's a good thing or not; the song's definitely kind of a downer.

Notables and my thoughts:

• Chuck: "The only queens at NYU have tickets to see Liza on Broadway." (I may have gotten that quote a bit wrong.)
• Oh, yeah right do random people recognize Dan Humphrey by name and regard him as a celebrity. Not buying this girl's act for a second. Is she a secret love child of Rufus' too?
• That's an interesting grey and coral pink shirt Scott is wearing. Maybe he is perfect for Vanessa.
• Chuck's hair looks slammin' today. Chuck looks decidedly less evil with this hair.
• Chuck: "For people like us, a college degree is an accessory, like a Malawian baby or a poodle."
• If Serena wants to hide out from her mom and Blair, maybe she should do so in the home of someone who is not her mom's stepson and Blair's boyfriend.
• Chuck's back to the speakeasy thing again. Is he going to call it the Victrola 2?
• I did appreciate the pure fear in Dan's expression when he first saw Georgina.
• Vanessa says, "Maybe we were a little too harsh"?! Why is it your decision how harsh to be, Vanessa? You didn't sleep with her! Oh, wait, I'm sorry, Dan didn't sleep with her, but he may as well have. How about we let the guy who "may as well have" slept with the girl decide if it's too weird to hang out with her now?
• When did Serena become a bumbling idiot? I mean, seriously, she has no brain. Chuck's right, she is a train wreck.
• Ugh, the first days of college are soooooooooo lame. You have sit around and watch Vanessa's documentaries if you want to have friends? Not worth it! Lol.
• Georgina: "Tears! Actual tears! When that gang member picked up his first carrot..."
• Um, no, Dan, "when it comes to fatherly advice," Rufus is no where near "pretty much the best there is." Dan is so misguided it's embarrassing.
• Of course Rufus is more afraid of Serena's mother than Serena is. Serena's used to doing whatever the hell she wants.
• Ugh, I cannot stand the sight of a group of people adoring Dan Humphrey.
• Dan: "No headbands in college." Is that a real rule? I don't think Dan gets to set the fashion rules.
• Does Dan realize he just threw a headband that probably cost $300 down the stairs?
• Whoa, Scott has a hair-string temper.
• Um, sorry, Dan, I think I want to leave with Blair if the other option is to stay and drink cheap beer with you.
• They're getting a lot of play out of Leighton's "Good Girls Go Bad" song. When's Momsen's band going to get some airtime?
• Blair: "There's a reason we never went downtown: it's awful!"
• Blair's dress right now is the best part of this whole episode.
• Wow, Scott knows how to use ratemyprofessors.com (and type up the results as though he wrote them on a typewriter?). I'm so impressed.
• Doesn't Vanessa find it strange how preoccupied Scott is with Dan?
• Aww, Serena's going to make Carter cry.
• Dan's still on the freaking roof?
• If anyone ever says "so we can download about the epicness last night" to me, so help me, I will smack him/her.
• Uh oh, looks like Dan "may as well have" just slept with Georgina again. Get an effing clue, Humphrey, because I am losing patience!

(photo: cwtv.com)

Premiere Watch '09: Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl:
"Reversals of Fortune"

Tonight I was probably the least excited I've ever been for a new episode of Gossip Girl, which was especially shocking considering this episode was the first new episode of a new season. There were certainly several reasons I felt this way, including the fact that new TV shows are a sign that summer is ending and I don't want that to happen and that I'm a bit drama-ed out from the U.S. Open. The predominate reason, however, was that GG and I didn't part on the best of terms last season (the Season 2 finale didn't impress me much at all and I resorted to quoting Lulu in jest...it wasn't pretty).

Still, when the first vestiges of GG popped up on my television screen (in it's new time slot at 9 p.m. instead of 8 p.m., which annoys me to no end since that's now when Greek and The Big Bang Theory (9:30) air as well), I hoped for the best. I wanted this episode of GG to smack me over the head with its awesomeness and remind me once and for all why I love this show. Unfortunately, what I got was an episode that was iffy at best.

From what I could tell, there wasn't an engaging plotline to be had in this episode. I mean, what we were supposed to like here? Dippy Nate picks up Joanna Garcia's equally dippy character? (She's realized her mistake when her cousin got stood up at the alter? That's it?) Barely-tolerable Vanessa gets picked up by the most boring secret half-brother known to man? Blair has Chuck pick up other girls to keep their relationship "interesting"? (Seriously? Being Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf on a daily basis isn't interesting enough?) Longer-haired Dan does nothing but get chastised by Vanessa while trying--again--to solve Serena's secret problems for her? Rufus "struggles to hold it together" while living Lily's charmed life without her? Eric and Jenny hang out and chat while somehow miraculously ignoring how awful Jenny's hair is? The part that came the closest to being interesting to me was when scummy Carter suddenly turned sweet, asking Serena who her dad was to not want her. But then she left him partially-clothed in the woods. Yeah...okay.

Even when GG's plotlines go astray, the show can usually be counted on for some entertaining dialogue and snappy one liners, but there wasn't even much of that in this episode. Even Gossip Girl sounded bored and subdued. Let's hope that the beginning of college will give this show the shot in the arm that it needs, because I don't know how many more episodes like this I can take.

Observations and "highlights":

• The blonde Chuck picked up looks like Serena, but shorter.
• The Hamptons isn't treating Jenny's hair well.
• Dan: "I just highly doubt she can keep her mouth shut for a whole month."
• From Vanessa to Joanna Garcia: definitely an upgrade for Nate.
• They've met before and they don't recognize each other? They don't know what other people in powerful political families look like? I mean, I know Nate's clueless, but I expected more from Joanna.
• Blair: "Now take your American Girl hair and your poreless skin and get out!"
• I'm on the fence about whether I love or hate Dan's longer hair.
• Eew, Jenny's hair looks even worse down.
• How is Chuck not dying from heat exhaustion in that suit in NYC in late summer?
• Chuck: "Sleeping with the enemy is hot. Why do you think I had the whole Ivanka thing?"
• Nate's hair, however, is definitely looking hot.
• How tall are Blair's shoes? She's taller than Serena.
• Nate and V went traveling in Europe and they just hooked up "one night" in Prague? That does not sound like the Nate that I know.
• Of course V got suckered in by the secret half-brother. She falls for all the liars.
• Jenny: "Everyone's topless on Valentino's yacht, Dad."
• Rufus: "What about the one where Prince Harry's doing shots off her--"
• Carter's looking cuter too.
• I wouldn't say the word "Dior" to Vanessa either when she's wearing that crappy outfit. It's like telling a starving person about the four-star meal you just ate.
• When was the "last time" Serena went off the deep-end? There have been so many times that I can't keep them straight anymore.
• What?! Why is Serena making it Dan's job to keep Carter away from her? Just leave poor Dan alone!
• Dan/Blair is not really an "unlikely alliance"--they band together for some reason or other at least once every couple of months.
• Apparently the correct outfit to wear to a polo match is a maxi dress.
• Nate's grandfather doesn't know who Bree Buckley is either?
• I guess Blair didn't get the maxi dress memo. But Vanessa did.
• Did Serena marry Carter in Europe too? LOL.
• Ha ha, is Serena seriously riding a horse away from the polo match? This is ridiculous.
• Aww, all of a sudden, Carter's kind of sweet: "Who is he not to want you?"
• Ugh, Vanessa, just take your lectures and go far, far away. Somebody lend Vanessa a horse so she can get out of here faster.
• Chuck: "We could never be boring."
• Um, this Vanessa/secret half-brother scene is painful. It's so bad, it's veering into Mischa/pool boy territory.
• Ok, Chuck and Blair are role playing about waiters now? Has it come to this?
• Why did Rufus buy the pics of Serena riding the horse? Borrowing a horse at a polo match is not exactly the most scandalous thing ever.

Premiere Rating: 6.0/10

(photo: cwtv.com)

Premiere Watch '09: Vampire Diaries

Vampire Diaries:
"Pilot"

The similarities of Vampire Diaries to Twilight are so ubiquitous that I'm largely going to ignore them and try to judge Vampire Diaries on its own merits. After this pilot episode, it's merits are kind of eh. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't all that engaging either. I've heard that VD (that's kind of an embarrassing acronym to have, right?) will expand its focus beyond the tortured love story between the good vampire and the nice girl and tell a larger story about the town. That idea sounds more intriguing to me, since a lot of us have done the tortured-love-story-between-the-good-vampire-and-the-nice-girl thing to death with Twilight at this point.

The VD pilot itself was on the hokey side. There were a few too many introspective voice overs disguised as journal entries for my taste. I mean, why make people act when they can just tell us exactly what they're supposed to be feeling, right? Also, the show absolutely telegraphed every time something "momentous" happened by bring the action to a screeching halt for a dramatic pause and a close up shot. The lead actors did all right with what they had to work with, but I wasn't blown away by them or any of the supporting characters.

I'll probably be giving this show some more time to better establish itself and then see how I feel about it. At this point, I feel like it could go either way: fun, guilty pleasure or total crap.

Highlights and my thoughts:

• No, lady, don't run away from the car! Get in it! You're not save at all running around in the open.
• Historically, this Paul Wesley guy always rubs me the wrong way. I'm not really sure why but I never like him in anything I see him in. I wonder if it's because he's the whack job from Long Beach who broke Holly's blender and then shot Luke on The O.C. or if it runs deeper than that?
• The aunt looks younger than the two high school kids.
• I'm getting a serious Cassidy Casablancas vibe from the brother (Jeremy).
• The show has been on for 3 minutes and I think they've already had four different soundtrack songs.
• I've seen this Vicki girl before. (She was in The O.C. and much better in Freaks and Geeks.) And her boyfriend is familiar as well. (He played on of Naomi's many boyfriends in the new 90210. The drag racer I think?)
• So on this show, vampires can hypnotize people with their eyes?
• Dreamy vampires seem to have a very specific hair style.
• I guess vampires on this show don't have to walk gracefully. This dude is absolutely lumbering down the hallway.
• Elena is wearing some serious hoop earrings.
• At least this vampire guy doesn't look like he's going to barf when gets close to the girl. That's helpful.
• Whoa, that fog is alarming.
• This Elena girl (Nina Dobrev) kind of reminds me a little bit of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
• This show sure is trying awfully hard to make journaling popular again.
• Elena is wearing quite a skimpy shirt.
• "You keep a journal!?!?!" Oh, gag.
• They're playing MGMT? Weren't they the makers of the "it" pilot songs last year?
• Now they're playing Placebo's "Running Up That Hill"!? That's from the freaking Season 4 premiere of The O.C.! And suddenly I have been taken completely out of Vampire Diaries and am instead thinking about Ryan cage fighting in Mexico after Marissa died. Must re-focus...
• Ok, there was an 1864 version of Elena? That's kind of interesting.
• Is history the only class these people attend?
• Wow, what is up this teacher's ass? It's what, the second day of school? There's no need to be this bitter already.
• Whoa, Bonnie, the friend really is psychic or extra-perceptive or something. That's kind of freaky.
• Gee, this Vicki chick is just a ray of sunshine. I can see why Jeremy is so hung up on her...
• The Jennifer's Body/Gossip Girl cross promotion is kind of awkward. I mean, Blair is nasty, but she doesn't go around killing people.
• Who is this Zach dude in Stefan's house who dishes out lectures?
• Dramatic pause, close up shot, and it's...Boone!
• Damon: "Remember, Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads!"
• I think Boone's cheeks are a little too rosy for a vampire.
• Elena is a dead ringer for Catherine.
• Things did not end well with Catherine.
• Boone has Cole Hamels hair. That's probably not a good thing.
• So Stefan can only survive in the sunlight if he's wearing the ring? I'm so not up on the Vampire Diaries mythology. But, then again, I don't care all that much.
• How come vampires never fall for blondes? (Except, I guess, for Angel and Buffy.)
• Do Vicki and Matt not have parents either?

Premiere Rating: 6.5/10

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Tomorrow Never Dies

Greek:

"The Day After"

It took me six days to get around to watching the new episode of Greek and there really wasn't even much else on television this week...aside from the U.S. Open, that is, which I've been watching constantly. I'm going to be so screwed next week when Gossip Girl, Glee, SYTYCD, etc. start up new episodes.

Anyway, Greek:

• What time of the year is it on Greek again? Late fall, I guess?
• It's the day after the end of the world. Ha.
• Ha, Jimmy is creepy.
• Why would Cappie and Casey dating be so weird for Jordan? She should be one of the few people for whom it's not weird.
• Casey: "I had some cookies. But they were in the 100-calorie packs...so I had seven of them."
• Ugh, you break up with somebody and the ZBZ sisters come and sing to you about a cat? That's horrendous.
• ZBZ girl (whose name I forgot): "I mean, he was a nerd, but he was hot. It was confusing."
• Why wouldn't Casey just assume that whoever Rebecca was kissing was one of her own former boyfriends?
• Calvin: "Not to mention how they'll react having two gay guys in the house. One is fine, two is just bathhouse."
• Dale: "I had to fake a noise bleed to get out of there."
• Aww, is that Dale's Canadian ex-roommate? (Remember, the one who is deathly pale, has a weird, unplaceable accent and wrote a Dale thank you note for making his own bed.) I'm so glad we finally got to see this kid!
• Dale: "The first rule of living every day like the world's going to end is making sure the world actually ends."
• Good for Rusty giving Casey some grief about the Max situation.
• Rusty: "Yeah, Casey, you can help me with my organic chemistry report on the guy from Entourage."
• If Rusty really wants to see Max, he could just head over to the new Melrose Place.
• Beaver: "Take you marks! Fire at Wil-ber."
• Wade's dressed like an old lady. These KTs...
• Calvin: "Fate? Yeah... Eternity...really?"
• Very smooth, Calvin: "Nothing happened!!"
• Security guard: "Yeah, he does look a little sickly."
  Casey: "Yeah, he's hypoglycemic. That's why he looks that way."
  Rusty: "I'm hypoglycemic, not deaf."
• Cappie: "Wait, did you just say Maxipad? That's still funny!"
  Dale: "I know."
• Betsy guesses that "E.C" is Edward Cullen. Ha.
• Calvin: "Thanks for letting me raid your closet, Dale. You were the only person I know that might have clothes resembling anything close to Austin Powers."
• Dale: "I was at that stupid party and everybody was talking about the end of the world and the apocalypse and blah blah blah and it was like every Easter Sunday back home."
• Say something, Calvin! Aww, poor Dale.
• Cappie clocking Rusty with the door was funny.
• Rebecca looks cute as Sydney Bristow.
• Ashleigh: "And, Evan, you're wearing Banana Republic!"
• Do Cappie and Casey have to stand there and talk while Rusty's trying to work? This is not conducive.
• Cappie: "I'm a ninja!"
• Cappie: "I'm a ninja for the ethnic treatment of animals."
  Security guard: "NETA? Not one of you guys again!"
• Cappie: "Did you know that there are more animals used for testing than there are in the entire world?"
  Security guard: "What? That doesn't sound accurate."
• Sheila is horrendous. Calvin needs to go give poor Dale a hug.
• They should get Sheila fired. It can't be ok for her to sleep with her tenants.
• Who did Becca really make out with? I'm assuming it's someone else's boyfriend. Fisher? Cappie? Max? What other guys are there? Beaver? I can see why she'd want to keep it a secret if she was kissing Beav ;-)
• Evan calls Max "Casey's Enginerd"
• Wow! This is a strange change of pace--Evan talking logic and instilling some morality into a situation? (Reminding Cappie that Casey and Max just broke up and that Cappie has no intention of ever leaving college and Casey does.)
• Called it: Rebecca was kissing Fisher. She seriously needs to find a boy who is not already dating one of her best friends.

Ok, kids, hang on: we're officially doing Cappie/Evan/Casey round 3 (round 4? round 5? I can't keep up.) Sorry, Casey/Cappie shippers, but right now I'm going with Evan. He always sucks me in when he's not acting like a flaming jerk (you know, like the time he hit Rusty in the face with a paddle).

(Photo: abcfamily.com) **BTW, props to the ABC Family web site for posting a mini album of pictures from this episode. Keep it up with all subsequent episodes, please. (Not to take the credit, but I did fill out a survey for their web site several months ago and made the suggestion that they post photo albums for each episode.)

SYTYCD: Finale Disappointments

So You Think You Can Dance: "Finale Performance Show"

In my four seasons of watching SYTYCD, I don't think I've ever been so unexcited about a season finale performance show. Oh well, let's see how it goes:

• They are taping the finale in the Kodak Theater, and the stage/set is gorgeous. It's going to be kind of strange to not have a bunch of teenage girls standing right smack-up against the stage though. It seems like the dancers are so far away from the people.
• Was that Pono I just saw in the audience?
• BTW, Deeley is sporting a rather sack-like shimmery, shiny gold mini dress with sleeves. I'm not loving the frock. Her loose, wavy hair, however, is awesome.
• It's Shankers (Adam Shankman)!!! I thought he might show up for the finale. It seems like the less frequently he comes around to judge, the more I like him. Last year, he annoyed me, but this year I love him. I don't really get it.
• Finally, we've found a space big enough to handle Mary's boisterous shrieking.

Wade Robson group number:

• The featurette: Two jocks hit on two cheerleaders. Um, in the practice Wade was way out-dancing all four of these people...
• The dance: Hey, what a shock, Evan can't catch a football. Ok, the camera edits bother me even more in this space than in they do in the normal venue. Maybe Jeanine's facial expressions translate better to the 3,000-person live audience, but they were not made for television close-ups. Ugh, why do I feel like I'm watching a knockoff version of Bring It On?

We take a break from the season five action to watch an epic promo for the new fall season featuring flashbacks from previous seasons and some new audition footage. Hey, I think I saw that tapper girl (Bianca) who they keep not putting through to the top 20. (She must be a glutton for punishment--or they were saving her for season six or something.) Tyce: "Season six is here, hel-LOOOO!!!" Um, here's a suggestion for Tyce: when you are judging a popular reality competition show, you probably should try to avoid sounding like Kate Gosselin yelling at Jon in Toys 'R Us. Just a thought.

Jeanine and Evan (Sonya Tayeh jazz):

• The featurette: Jeanine gets to kick and punch Evan a lot.
• The dance: The routine was not poorly danced, but I just wish I could see season four's Mark and Courtney Galiano give this routine a go. Evan is doing a pretty good job of falling though. This stage is ginormous, and because of that I think it might be difficult to do a really good job of selling the routines tonight.
• The judging: Shankers says he never saw Jeanine coming (perhaps because she was so minimally featured in the pre-Top 20 episodes?) and that he didn't think Evan would make the Top 4 either. He says that Sonya did a good job of choreographing to the strengths of the dancers (Evan's exceptional ability to fall, I guess). Nigel roots Evan on like he actually wants him to win. Ha.

Brandon's solo:

• The featurette: Brandon slips into a Southern accent sometimes. Brandon says that his favorite routine was his tango with Janette. He says that he doesn't see his dancing brilliance in himself sometimes.
• The solo: I think he's wearing the same board shorts that Matthew McConaughey wore to film that surfer movie. (Example A. Btw, why is McConaughey is in a freaking tree? Ha!) Anyway, Brandon's solo was one long, uninterrupted steam of powerful movements. It was impressive, but he certainly wasn't relaxing and just letting his brilliance flow.
• The judging: So they're judging the solos now? We must have a lot of time to kill tonight. Shankers says that he doesn't get the board shorts and that the solo was great but a bit on the frantic side.

Kayla and Brandon (Tyce Dioria Broadway)

• The featurette: Uh oh, Brandon and Kayle are about to get Tyced. Kayla promises us that this will be Tyce's last routine of the season. Tyce asked Brandon to do a "rose plop," I think.
• The dance: Why does Brandon have to dance twice in a row? That seems unfair. At least the costumes are cooler than the usual Broadway costumes on this show. Kayla's opening split on top of Brandon on the table was gorgeous. I didn't hate this number, but I'm not sure it really engaged me either. They danced it well, even if their side-by-side "pirouettes" (that's what I'm calling them anyway, Nigel called them a hopping something) got a bit out of sync (it might have been on purpose?). Brandon's sequined shirt/jacket reminds me of Chuck Bass.
• The judging: Adam, Mary and Nigel all love it. Nigel says Tyce has been amazing this season and that he's named for a cookie. Then Nigel tells an anecdote about the time he had a heart attack (because Brandon's character seemed to have a heart attack at the end of the number). So, heart attacks can be played for levity in Tyce's world, but cancer is serious. Ok then.

Jeanine's solo:

• The featurette: Sounds like Jeanine's mom decided that Jeanine would be a dancer. Oh no, we're talking about the Russian folk dance again. Let's let it go, people. Jeanine's favorite dance was the Travis Wall contemporary routine with Jason. She claims the kiss at the end of the routine was not choreographed.
• The solo: Using tango music and wearing the most bikini-like dress I've ever seen. I think I missed a lot her dancing because I spent most of the time she was out there trying to figure out what was going on with the "dress." Travis sighting! When she's done, everyone stands and applauds like they've just seen, um, I don't even know what could have warranted this sort of reaction. (Ok, yes, the pirouette was good, but it wasn't Danny Tidwell terrority or anything. Calm down a bit, people.)
• The judging: Shankers is beside himself over her pirouette. Mary says that solo was the best thing that Jeanine's ever done on this show. Uh, guess I should have paid more attention then. Nigel says Jeanine's "in the final two" as far as he's concerned. Um, yeah, he says that after only two people have done solos. What's he going to say after Kayla performs?

Brandon and Evan (Laurieann Gibson pop jazz dance battle):

• The featurette: Why do the top two boys always have to dance battle? Neil and Danny were battling princes. Josh and Twitch were battling Russian folk dancers. (But, really, wasn't Benji and Travis' non-battle nerd hip hop the best of the bunch?)
• The dance: This is kind of a weak dance battle--they weren't even looking at each other for the first chunk of the routine. They did eventually get around to some fake fighting that I didn't really buy. Seriously, dude, what kind of guys dance fight to Janet Jackson music anyway? This is so weird. Evan's actually dancing this pretty well, but there's something weird about Evan trying to have a "nasty groove."
• The judging: Adam thinks Evan "got a little dusted." Um, does Adam realize that pointing that out is just going to get all of the hardcore Evan fans to vote for him all the more? Mary wants to know what the nastiest thing Evan's ever done is. Evan says that he can't decide because "the list is so long." Nigel says Evan has a "choochy face." Frankly, if I were Evan, I'd be sooooooooooo tired of people saying how nice and sweet I am that I'd go punch somebody's grandma or something. Enough is enough.

Kayla and Jeanine (Mia Michaels contemporary):

• The dance: Um. Something bizarre happened with my FOX channel--the commercials break stretched waaaay too long and they finally cut back into the show for literally only the final 6 seconds of this dance. Uhhh, what the hell? Thanks, FOX Philly, that was so helpful. After this debacle, I don't know if Jeanine or Kayla should count on too many votes from the greater Philadelphia area...
• The judging: Adam says it was a concept piece by Mia. Mary says this piece is going to be remembered forever--not likely! I can't remember something I never saw! Mary says these two girls are the strongest girls ever in a finale. Not buying that one, and I take offense on behalf of Katee and Courtney G., Sabra and Lacey, and Heidi and Donyelle. Nigel says something pervy about how he wishes more of the girl's outfits had come off. Great, I'm so glad I got to hear that instead of getting to actually watch the dance. Thanks.

Evan's solo:

• The featurette: Evan's favorite routine was the Mia Michaels butt routine with Randi. Evan says he's "dropping the hammer" tonight. Lol.
• The solo: He's got the fedora and a tie but no suspenders. I think I enjoyed that solo more than Evan's other solos, but maybe he's just finally worn me down and is building me back up to like things I didn't use to like?
• The judging: Adam points out that this solo was a variation of his audition routine and calls doing that a calculated risk (meanwhile, Brandon did his audition solo last week and no one seemed to have a problem with that). Nigel agrees that Evan is special and entertaining, but doesn't think that Evan has grown as much over the course of the season as he would have liked. Ultimately, I agree with that assessment. (Not that I feel like any of the Top 4 have "grown" a whole heck of a lot over the course of the season, actually. I'd say they're all about as good as they were all along.)

Kayla and Evan (Tony and Melanie jive):

• The featurette: Didn't Evan already jive this year? Let's see if we can finally get a good jive this season to make up for the two bad ones.
• The dance: Why is Kayla jiving in cowboy boots and a frilly tutu? I think something about Kayla's arm movements while jiving looks very bizarre--she looks like she's flailing around a broken arm or something. I'd say that they started out pretty strong but the middle and end weren't great. The choreo kind of petered out after the cartwheel/lift sequence. There didn't seem to be much going on after that.
• The judging: Adam doesn't think that was a "finale-level routine" in his opinion. I also found it to be a little lacking, but Mary liked the choreo. Mary doesn't think that Evan has the jive kicks right yet. She also criticizes arm movements, but fails to put out that it was KAYLA's arm positions that looked so bizarre and then says that Kayla stole the show. Unbelievable. This is why Evan's going to win, people--the judges need to stop picking on him! Even I feel sorry for him now, and I thought he should have been out of the competition weeks ago! Now Nigel says that Kayla hasn't been showing personality this season up until now? Wha!? He's never complained about her not showing personality before that I recall (he did say her hair was in her face once).

Kayla's solo:

• The featurette: We get to spend a little more time with Kayla's grandparents. One last time for their cuteness to get her some votes. Kayla's favorite routine was the addiction piece with Kupono. Kayla says she's not just a dancer and always "reaches out and pulls people into the performance" or something like that. Well, that was modest.
• The dance: To "Sweet Dreams" and the strong music helps her through her iffy solo composition tendencies. It was good, but there was one leap in there that didn't look up to her typical standards.
• The judging: Adam compares her to some of the best dancers ever on the show (namely Travis, Will, and Danny). The judges all say nice things about her, but no one flat out says she should win (like they did about Brandon and Jeanine). I guess they realized that they've been backing a losing pony this whole time?

Jeanine and Brandon (Louis van Amstel paso doble):

• The featurette: To big it home one more time that the powers that be at SYTYCD want Jeanine or Brandon to win, they give them the coveted final performance slot. (It probably would have been more fair to end with the four-dancer group number, but I guess they figured that immediately after watching that cheerleader routine, people might have refused to vote for anybody.) We're ending the finale performance show with a paso? That's a bold choice. It's a good think Debbie Allen isn't here.
• The dance: Oh, it's just an excuse to get Jeanine in another bikini top. I think that this very dramatic music and strobe lighting would trick you into thinking this is a great routine even if it's not. Luckily, it does seem to be going much better than the other paso dobles of the season. Ok, the performance was good; the judges are going to be beside themselves though and I don't think it warrants that.
• The judging: Shankers thinks that what makes a champion on this show is the transitions and the small things in a dance (which, by the way, was what was missing in Kayla and Evan's jive). Mary lets out a scream because she's somehow forgotten to do that all night. And then she lets out about six more screams. Nigel also tries to scream. Nigel again goes waaaaaaaaaaay too far in regards to Jeanine and what he'd "like to do to her." You can literally hear the audible discomfort of the audience members.

Cat wants the judges to pick the winner and Adam just compliments everyone, to which Cat replies, "Mary, can you be more of a man than Adam?" HA! Go Deeley! Nigel takes a quick second to plug the fact that Evan's brother will be in season 6. (So, um, can we assume that Ryan's going to make the Top 20, because if he doesn't this is really ridiculous.) Nigel calls it for Brandon or Jeanine and Evan and Kayla look pissed off.

My favorite routines: ??? Um, I guess I'll go with the Broadway (did I just say that?) and the paso.

Honestly, right now I can't really pick who I want to win because I just feel annoyed with this episode and this season. During this performance show I went from being neutral/apathetic to kind of detesting the dancers, the judges and even the show in general. And I am not used to detesting this show; I don't like feeling this way about it. When pressed, I guess I'll go with Brandon for the win, just to compensate for all of the other fantastically-skilled boy contemporary dancers who got shafted in seasons past (Travis, Danny, Will). However, if for some reason SYTYCD forgets to announce the winner tomorrow night and we all just forget this season ever happened, that's totally fine with me too.

90210: Labor Pains and Meltdowns

90210:
"One Party Can Ruin Your Whole Summer"


The first season of the second incarnation of 90210 bowed out with an entertaining episode. There was a lot going on, but I liked that the episode didn't seem to bite off more than it could chew (unlike the Gossip Girl finale, IMO). This episode of 90210 well-paced and no storylines felt overdone nor shafted. It also packed an emotional punch (Adrianna's decision about the baby) and some fireworks (Naomi reaming out Annie) and some comic relief (Mr. and Mrs. Wilson on pot). The episode also laid some interesting ground work for next season. As in, can we pleeeeeeease see Annie go to jail?

I also like the episode's title, because it's so ominous ;-)

Highlights and my observations:

• Jen: "You had me at trust issues."
• Tell her, Naomi.
• Naomi: "You look really, really good. Like a model. Like a really, really short model. Or a regular model standing in the distance."
• How dare this nurse sass Navid! Doesn't she know how rich he is?
• HA HA! The entertainment at post prom is a (dorky) a cappella group. These guys are funny. And this party is pathetic.
• So, one student goes into labor and all the chaperones leave the post-prom party?
• Bet Annie's glad she and Naomi became friends again just in time for her to have to clean up Naomi's house for her.
• Really, Dixon? When Silver's across the room, you miss her? Which is why you've been standing here complaining about her for the last 15 minutes?
• Brenda was supposed to be here for the birth of Adrianna's baby? I'd forgotten that.
• Whoa, that C-section decision was made really fast. Especially since the doctors didn't seem to be paying much attention to Adrianna at all before they made that determination.
• Liam's drawing of Annie is not very flattering.
• Ok, good. Ad and the baby girl are both ok.
• Ha ha ha! Mr. Wilson forgot what Annie's name is. Yes, it was because the brownies were laced with pot, but it's funny nevertheless.
• Mr. and Mrs. Wilson are a lot funnier when they're stoned than they normally are.
• I'm guessing post prom's about to get a whole lot wilder if the a cappella group ate some of the pot brownies.
• Poor Ethan. All he gets to do on his prom night is talk about Silver and Dixon's relationship.
• Hold on. What were Dixon and Ethan doing that led to them exchanging clothes?!
• Debbie: "Should I call one or should I put on the list to call one?"
• Debbie: "The nerds had pot brownies!"
• Oh, shut up, Jen! If you're going to mooch off your little sister, you should at least not actively try to ruin her life as well.
• Brenda! Dressed like Cleopatra!
• Oh, crap, they never showed us Adrianna playing Cleopatra! I really wanted to see that!
• Is Brenda really here or is this a figment of Adrianna's anaesthetic-tainted mind? Because Brenda is acting really strangely.
• Oh dear, Jim Walsh is dying? How come no one else seems to know about this? Wouldn't Kelly know?
• Brenda: "Have you met my dragon?"
  Ok, that confirmed that this is a dream sequence.
  
• Wow, Ethan needs to dial his Silver adoration the hell down. This is not the way make the poor kid act in his last episode.
  
• No wonder Ethan leaves after this debacle. Dixon's being mean.
  
• Hey, pretty boy actually showed up to sign the father's consent form. Aww, and he said thank you to Navid. That was nice.
  
• Ha! Liam's shocked face when he found out that Jen is Naomi's sister was pretty hilarious. I'm relieved that he actually does realize that hooking up with Naomi's sister was crossing a line. I wasn't sure if that behavior is cool with bad boys or not.
  
• BTW, how old is Liam? Why does Jen sleep with so many teenage boys? (She said she already slept with Ethan...before he slept with Naomi...and they are only 16 or 17 now...so, what, Jen slept with him when he was 15 and she was like 20? Eeew. Let's not think about this too much.)
  
• Whoa, everyone's turning on Annie. And it's kind of awesome. And now she's exploding in an extremely overly dramatic fashion. There were no Emmy nominees in that scene.
  
• Brenda adopted a little Chinese girl! That's great.
  
• So, um, how weird is it that Adrianna's dream sequence included that stuff about Brenda's dad (who is apparently actually fine)? I mean, his full name was on the door to his hospital room--how would Adrianna know that? (It was somehow in her subconsciousness.)
  
• Oh, what are they trying to do to me? Now they're playing "The Funeral" by Band of Horses while Adrianna gives up her baby! I'm going to be bawling in 10 seconds.
  
• Ha ha ha, Liam is being forcibly hauled off to wilderness boot camp! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't amused by this turn of events.
  
• Annie's pulling an epic Marissa Cooper impression. (I know Marissa was drunk often, but I don't recall her drinking while driving, so I guess Annie's taking it a step further here.)
  
• OMG, what did Annie just run over? And who was in the car that pulled up behind her? (Why'd we get a close-up of the license plate? Was that supposed to mean something to me and I wasn't paying enough attention?)
  

(photo: cwtv.com)