Premiere Watch '08: Dirty Sexy Money

Dirty Sexy Money: "The Birthday Present"

I'm not nearly as excited about Dirty Sexy Money now as I was last year. I began watching the show in the first place because of Samaire Armstrong (who is awesome), and now her character is only a recurring character. "Personal issues" or not, kicking Samaire off your show isn't a great idea. One of The O.C.'s worst creative decisions was writing off Anna, after all.

Aside from that, I haven't enjoyed DSM as much since it became the Tripp/Simon Elder/Karen saga. I honestly couldn't care less who is manipulating whom in that fustercluck. The Senate race isn't interesting me much either. The Jeremy/Lisa stuff in moderately interesting, but always leads to Lisa and Nick having the "you're going to have to chose between the Darlings and us" conversation, and there's only so many times I really need to hear that.

Other thoughts:

• Wow, a boat is quite the birthday present!
• The scene when the police helicopter flew over and the yacht was given the "Prepare to be boarded!" warning was straight from Arrested Development. Actually, I wish I were watching Arrested Development...
• Jeremy Darling's still thinking about his kiss with Lisa from six months ago? Not sure I believe that.
• Karen is still screwing Simon Elder after six months? Really not sure I believe that.
• Oh no...it's the age-old "I love you"/"Thank you" plot line. If I wanted to see that, I'd watch the New Year's Eve episode of The O.C. Actually, I wish I were watching The O.C...
• Gustav!!!!
• Carmelita's been missing for 6 months?
• Dude (Patrick), your wife (Ellen) wasn't a drunk until you hooked up with the transgendered prostitute; get off your high horse. What an asshat. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him?
• And, since this show is on ABC, here's Lucy Liu!
• Well, I guess that's why you should never try to bludgeon someone while you're wearing stilettos.
• I am not convinced that Simon Elder could have "any woman in New York."
• Why would Tripp have chemists? Isn't he a real estate mogul?
• Oh, holy crap! Lisa finally makes out with Jeremy and Nick pops up to see it? Unlucky.
• Nick doesn't think that going to hang out with Karen is a bad idea? Two wrongs don't make a right, buddy. He is so the Dan Humphrey of this show. Judgemental and annoying.
• Tripp is so sleazy. Brian won't help him out, so Tripp ships off Brian's kid.
• They don't pay this butler guy enough.
• Good for Lisa throwing it all back on Nick.
• Did they even mention Samaire (Juliet) and why she's not around? I missed it if they did.
• Oh, shock, Simon's playing Karen. Who'd have thought. He's apparently not as good as he thinks he is if it took him 6 months to get Karen to fall for him. Hope whoever's in on this plan with him didn't have a strict time table.
• Ahh, so the yacht is a payoff.
• Letitia's getting arrested for the murder of Dutch? The law enforcement officials wait a year since the murder and then have to arrest her on a yacht in front of tons of people?

Premiere Rating: 5.0/10

Premiere Watch '07: Dirty Sexy Money

My favorite description of Dirty Sexy Money was when someone called it the drama version of Arrested Development. AD left some pretty big shoes to fill, but it looks like the Darlings could become just as kooky, immoral and entertaining as our beloved Bluths.

The DSM pilot episode was quite fun. No surprise that I loved Juliet Darling since I'm a big Samaire Armstrong fan. As Juliet, she seems to have much less "sage wisdom" than she did as The OC's Anna, but she's totally nailing her new Paris Hilton-esque character. My other favorite Darling was the Rev. Brian, who is quite the firecracker despite being a man of God! Who says, "I'm sorry Grandpa's dead," to a little girl! Yeesh!

Bullets:

• Juliet: "I'd never want to be blind, but playing blind is really fun."
• The Darlings drink even more alcohol than the Gossip Girl kids!
• $10 million a year for the charitable foundation is a pretty freaking good offer, but by the end of the episode, it doesn't seem like nearly enough.
• Karen (to her fiance): "Nick deflowered me." Yikes!
• The personalized ringtones for each member of the Darlings were funny.
• Nick: "Look, he wrote his name in just now with a crayon!"
• Anything by the Teddybears and Peter Bjorn & John's "Young Folks" are definitely the official songs of pilot season. It's getting ridiculous.
• I guess it's official: money doesn't make you happy.
• I'm pretty sure that (the future senator) Patrick Darling's wife changed mid-episode. When they got out of the limo at the funeral in the beginning, she was definitely Tom's baby momma from Desperate Housewives (Kiersten Warren, also of Saved By the Bell: The College Years...ha ha), but a different lady was talking to Dan Rather at the party. Oops. Pilot recasting strikes again?
• Nick: "Don't you as a United States Senator have to have enough courage to walk into a hotel room and hand a trannie hooker a check!"
• Nick's dad had a 40 year affair with Mrs. Darling! Oh no! I guess we should have seen that coming, especially in light of her meltdown at the anniversary party.
• I know he wants to find the killer of his father, but I really think Nick might want to turn and run away from these people as fast as he can. By the time he solves the murder, his whole life is going to be ruined.
• Ha ha--Jeremy's going to space camp.

All in all, a good start. This show definitely has the potential to be an awful lot of fun.

Premiere Rating: 7/10