Gossip Girl: Toast Disasters

Gossip Girl:
"Enough About Eve"

So Chuck kissed a dude, and this episode was still kind of a snooze. It's like it's a new rule that at least two of Gossip Girl's plot lines per episode have to be almost painfully dull (Serena/Nate/poker and Vanessa/Dan/Olivia). I was even frustrated with Blair's shenanigans, because I had a hard time believing that everyone cared so much about who gave the speech at a freshman parents' dinner. I'm surprised that NYU could even get people to go to that dinner, let alone that it would spark epic battles over who got to speak at it. I don't know, I just think that if Blair's going to let her ambitions screw up her relationship with Chuck, she might as well be aiming a bit higher than giving the toast at a dinner for NYU parents. (Neither of Blair's parents even attended, which is a disappointment because I love Margaret Colin and John Shea, and Dorota wasn't even there.) Seriously, is anyone going to remember the stupid toast a week from now?

Also, have any of these students who "go to NYU" (or Nate who "goes to Columbia") ever actually gone to a class?

If the whole "Chuck kisses a boy" thing was a stunt to get ratings, it doesn't look like it worked.

One good thing about this episode was that Gina Torres a.k.a. Anna Espinosa of Alias turned up as Vanessa's mother. Unfortunately, the uncoolness of being in a Vanessa storyline tempered the awesomeness that is Anna Espinosa a bit. Here's a reminder of how great she can be. (The video's in German, but who cares: Anna tries to hit Sydney with the arm of a mannequin! Ha!)

Highlights and my observations:

• Chuck: "Bad dream? Don't tell me it was Charade again. I know how terrifying you find Walter Matthau."
• Aww, Chuck is so sweet holding Blair when she told him her dream was "All About Eve."
• Why wait to have Tripp run for Congress? Because he's only like 25 years old?
• Don't worry, Nate has an idea. Oh, I feel so much better now.
• There was a cover story on Vanessa on the cover of the NYU paper? Are you kidding me? Gag.
• Jenny (to Dan): "People like you more when they meet our family." THEY DO?!?! I'm sorry, but meeting Rufus would not make me like anyone better.
• Serena's dress does not really same day-appropriate. It looks like a party dress.
• I cannot believe people actually care who gives the toast at the freshmen dinner. I cannot believe people want to go to that.
• They were playing Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros' "Home" very quietly in the background during Vanessa's phone call. That song was easily the highlight of this whole episode. I'm a big fan of that song. They should have just canned all of this toast nonsense and these poker shenanigans and just played that whole song.
• Uh oh, Vanessa's lying. I thought she didn't lie.
• I didn't know poker could make for such boring television.
• Oh, nice work Serena and Nate. I told you that you should never feel too confident in one of Nate's plans.
• By far the coolest thing about Vanessa ever: her mother is Anna Espinosa (Gina Torres) from Alias. If Anna Espinosa is really supposed to be Vanessa's mother, Vanessa should be a whole a lot cooler.
• Oh, that Nate! Such a little sneak! There's no way Nate came up with this plan on his own. This was definitely Grandpa Vanderbilt's idea.
• Why is Olivia asking Vanessa why Dan doesn't want her to meet his parents, when Dan's standing 20 feet away from her right now!
• Ha ha! Dan just set the kitchen on fire.
• Ha ha, a kiss from Chuck Bass is #27 on the Tribeca Scavenger Hunt.
• Geez, Chuck's haircut is amazing. He looks super hot. I cannot get over it.
• Wow, this distinguished alumni isn't very upstanding. He had the "important job" of picking the speaker and he traded it away for a kiss from Chuck Bass? (Although, I can't say I really blame him...)
• This is quite a fancy freshmen dinner event.
• Why did Olivia change out of that pretty purple dress and into that way too tight orange thing? Ick.
• Chuck: "Keep up, Bambi."
• Wow, Serena can't even follow Nate's grandpa's scheme. It's not that complex, S. If she can keep up with all of Blair's schemes, she should be able to follow this one.
• Geez, Vanessa, piss off the few people left who can still tolerate you. Nice going.
• If Carter thinks Serena's going to give a flying crap about him in three years after he goes away to work on the oil rig, he's got another thing coming.
• Oof, that's rough. Vanessa just got a lecture on being a good person from Anna Espinosa! Ha!
• Rufus: "Dan, was that Blair on the P.A.? She really should have run that speech by someone."
• Damn, Chuck looks hot. It's distracting!
• Yeah, I don't believe that Blair's never going to manipulate Chuck again. Chuck should kick her ass to the curb.
• At least now we get to here some more of "Home"! It's helping to make all of Vanessa's screen time easier to stomach.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: More Holiday Drama

Gossip Girl: "The Magnificent Archibalds"

So, if last week Gossip Girl achieved a Nabokovian real tower by bringing Clueless' Mr. Hall into the already fantastic Waldorf family, it was ten times awesomer this week to have sitting around Blair's dining room table: Mr. Hall (Wallace Shawn/Cyrus), Lisa Wiseman (Margaret Colin/Eleanor), and Lois & Clark's Lex Luthor a.k.a. John Shea (to whom I wrote a fan letter a couple of lifetimes ago and received a very nice signed photo back from). Blair Waldorf might not always realize it, but she's got one crazy-awesome family.

Unlike poor Nate, who has a ridiculously horrible family. His dad was trying to con him and his mom into going away with him so he could extort Nate's grandparents for ransom money?! Oy vey! I guess we shouldn't be surprised by anything Mr. Archibald comes up with at this point, and it figures that the guy can't even hide in the Caribbean without messing it up. Finally, finally, finally, however, Nate did find a way to coerce his dear old dad into doing the honorable thing and turning himself into the FBI. Congrats go out to Nathanial on that impressive achievement, and I wish him a hearty welcome back to his old, swanky life.

Other holiday highlights:

• Why would you (Serena) want to introduce a guy who is dating you and several other people to your family?
• Eric is condoning Jenny's emancipation scheme?! Come now, that boy has more sense than this.
• Ahh, Nate's prodigal father returns...
• Uh oh, I get nervous when Gossip Girl goes radio silent (blog silent) during the holidays, and I don't have her to guide me through the treacherous world of the Upper East Side!
• Mr. Archibald has been living in a house on the beach in the Caribbean all this time while his wife and his son were floundering? This guy just keeps getting better and better.
• I like Serena's hair flat ironed like this. It's nice. And more proof that she's way too good for this artsy punk.
• Bart knows that Eric's Jonathan is cheating on him?! That is creepy.
• Chuck found the "most amazing photos of Gina," his Italian au pair, in Bart's vault ;-)
• Geez, even the stupid artsy punk's sweater is a disaster.
• Gasp, Cyrus is eating Blair's pie!!
• Blair (to Darota): "Who do you work for?!"
• Oh, Dan, how do you manage to work in all of Serena's character flaws into one random conversation in the supermarket?
• Vanessa is working on paperwork at the gallery on Thanksgiving?!?! (The guy who writes EW.com's recaps is going to have a field day with this one...) Could this girl be any more pathetic?!
• Umm, no, Nate you didn't already alienate Chuck. He tried to talk to you yesterday, and you blew him off (again). If you're so bummed that you alienated him, how 'bout you talk to him nicely for a change, and you'll find that you haven't alienated him! It's that easy.
• Geez, how short is that skirt Serena's wearing?! I know I should be used to it by now, but I'm not. My sister said, "Serena's outfit is ridiculous. Looks like she belongs in Moulin Rouge."
• Chuck: "You have my word, whatever that's worth."
• 8/7/69: Chuck's mom's birthday. As in, were she alive, she'd be 39 years old. And have an 17-year-old son. You'd think they could have stretched the generation gap a little more between her and Chuck since she's dead and they don't have to cast her and embroil her into steamy love triangles. Especially since Bart is clearly not 39. So he was marrying younger women even back then. I mean, this means the poor lady died when she was only 22.
• Darota's ring tone for Eleanor is "I'm a Slave 4 U." Hahahahaha, that's classic.
• Blair: "If we have to wander the Upper East Side like outcasts in a Jane Austen novel, so be it!"
• Did Dan really think he'd be welcome in the Bass home after the stunt he just pulled on Bart?
• Ha ha, I kind of enjoyed watching Dan get called a liar even if it wasn't true.
• "The annual van der Woodsen diner family dinner."
• Lily was in an institution when she was 19?! How does that figure into her already jam-packed back story? That lady lived a pretty darned packed life before the age of, what, 22 when she had Serena. There was her relationship with Rufus that lasted for awhile, hanging out in the back of the Nine Inch Nails tour bus, getting blackmailed into dumping Rufus by her mom, finding and marrying Serena's (never mentioned) father, and now a stay in an institution?! Maybe she just checked in because she was tired and need a rest.
  
• Lily: "How did you get so wise?"
  Eric: "The nanny."
• Poor Jenny doesn't even have a coat. She just keeps getting more and more pathetic. Aww, Eleanor gave Jenny her wrap! That was so sweet! (Except now Jenny really looks homeless.)
• Wow, so it turns out Eleanor is a better mother than Lily after all. Lily lets train wreck Jenny stay at her house and hide from Rufus for days while she flounders around about what to do, but Eleanor takes one look at Little J and drives her straight home where she belongs. Thank you! Finally someone with some sense.
• Harold! Yea!!!
• How can Serena even lie down in that skirt without displaying her entire butt?
• Eeeeew, Aaron's hair is even worse when he's not wearing a hat or whatever he normally has on to cover it up! It's really awful, and should not be exposed to the world.
• Lily calls Eric "E"? That's just silly.
• Oh, that Nate's such a pretty little liar: he sent Jenny a letter to the effect of: "I don't know how to stay away from you, but I have to. I don't know what to do; I really care about you." I have to admit that despite the creepiness factor, I like Nate/Jenny better than Nate/Vanessa.
• So, is Lily's stay in the institution in anyway correlated to her pathetic parenting skills (a hidden mental illness)? And if poor parenting is a sign of a concealed mental illness, when is Rufus going to check in to the Ostroff Center.

I'm including not just one, but two promo pics for this episode in the post. The first one made it because I love John Shea. The second made it because I wanted to provide proof of just how short Serena's skirt was.

Headband Monday: I've forgotten to document my headbands from the last few weeks, but I have been wearing them. Today I wore a headband that is a row of faux pearls.

(photos: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Being Grace Kelly

Gossip Girl: "Bonfire of the Vanity"

In Vladimir Nabokov's Ada (don't worry, I'm not going to talk about the incest...), Ada has a philosophy that that three things occurring at the same time form a "tower." And, if the they are three good things, it's called a "real tower." Well, we had a pop culture real tower on our hands in this episode of Gossip Girl. First, it was an episode of Gossip Girl, which in and of itself is pretty great. Second, it featured another appearance by Margaret Colin, who has been a favorite of mine since Now and Again. And, third, Eleanor's new boyfriend, Cyrus, was played by Wallace Shawn, who played Mr. Hall in Clueless, which is definitely one of my favorite movies ever!

The highlight of this episode was the interaction between Blair and Cyrus. And the coolest part of all was that Blair got out-foxed by Mr. Hall! Who knew he had it in him?

Other highlights and thoughts:

• Rufus = the worst parent ever. His whole don't-force-Jenny-to-come-back-so-she'll-come-back-on-her-own philosophy was asinine. Did he learn nothing from episode 1 of the second season of The O.C.? Seth didn't come home on his own, and Jenny's not going to either. You gotta go get them!
• Yea!!! It's Blair's 18th birthday! Happy birthday, B! It's always nice when TV characters get birthdays (and especially if the get to have them every year like real people and not just one time only).
• That Agnes is a firecracker. Who'd have guessed? Umm, anyone who knew her as Kaitlin Cooper. I guess Little J didn't watch seasons 3 or 4 of The O.C., or she would have known this was coming.
• We're testing Margaret's acting chops here: how believable can she be when she says that Cyrus is the most attractive man she's ever met?
• Why is Bart SUCH an ass? Wait, I know, (SPOILER ALERT) it's because he's going to die soon and they want to make him extra despicable right before he goes.N
• New York Magazine editor about Dan's story: "It's not really fiction though is it?" (Thank you.)
• New York Magazine makes a practice of printing things without putting the writer's name on it? Come on. I called BS when the college newspaper did that on Greek last year, and I'm really not buying it now.
• Dan's article isn't going to open any doors for him if he doesn't put his name on the stupid thing.
• Aaron's hair is tragic.
• Having to watch Serena kiss Aaron is kinda ruining this new Kings of Leon song for me.
• Blair laments that Cyrus has a catch phrase.
• Blair (explaining the pitfalls of being a muse): "But it's only a matter of time before he's into cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead!"
• I can't believe Bart even took the time to talk to Dan. I wouldn't, and I'm a lot less important than Bart.
• Wow, Dan's not only selling out Chuck, but now he's dissing Rufus too. Scum.
  
• Sweet mother of God, Bart invited Dan to the hockey game! This is unbelievable!!!
• Blair: "I am Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly..."
• If Jenny's so big on professionalism, does she really think all this black eye makeup is the way to go?
• We're taking a lot of pictures on this show lately... First it was Agnes' creepy boyfriend, now it's Serena's creepy boyfriend...
• Gossip Girl: "Every Bass will have his day."
• Does Aaron's Serena projector show (oh, I'm sorry, "instillation") remind you of the fake snow thing she did for Dan last Christmas? It feel like we've seen this before.
• Blair: "Screw Grace Kelly."
• Who is this random street urchin who knows secrets about Bart Bass, and how did Dan just stumble upon him? And why has no one else found out about this big secret by now? It didn't seem too hard to uncover.
• Sirius: "Your mother is a diamond in an ocean of coal."
• Oh, Blair, he's a sweet guy, just be nice for once.
• Serena! What is the hang up with this Aaron kid?! He's bad news! And he's got gross hair. Move on. This is pathetic.
• Is it wrong that I'm laughing as Agnes burns Jenny's dresses? I feel like Little J had this coming.
• Is it just me, or (except for Cyndi Lauper) is Blair's 18th b-day party pretty lame? It's no where near as cool as her 17th b-day party last year with the sushi and Guitar Hero and Chuck with the Erikson Beamon necklace. I mean, Chuck wasn't even at this party! I'll be darned if I were Blair Waldorf and would ever celebrate a birthday without being in the presence of Chuck.
  
• Cyrus is Aaron's father?! Whaa? If Cyrus is so nice, how did Aaron turn into such a loser? (Hey, normally on GG, it's the parents who are the losers and the kids who are great.)
• Blair: "I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday; instead, I got a conscience."
• Wait, someone died in this building fire? Bart is pretty stupid if he fell for that lame-o Humphrey trick... First Eleanor turns out to have no idea what she's doing, and now Bart? How did these people make it to where they are without the help of their (and other people's) children?
• Blair: "You deliberately let me win factoring in that Cyndi Lauper would prey on my emotions!"
  
• Blair: "You're not what I had in mind."
  Cyrus: "Well, you're not what I had in mind."
• Geez, Dan, can you please name a story something other than a date?! Come on; this already feels soooooooo old.
• Holy crap--Chuck was born in 1991? Did I see that correctly? That's depressing.
• Where did Little J sleep? (Was it Rufus' gallery?)
• It figures Bart apologizes now--(SPOILER ALERT) right before he's about to die.
• Ugh! Rufus' shirt is terrible!
• No kidding, Rufus' plan didn't work out--I told him that was going to happen 55 minutes ago.
• What does not wanting to have forced conversations and social obligations have to do with needing to have multiple girlfriends at once?! I think we're talking apples and oranges here, Aaron.
• Why should Serena have a moment's pause at going outside in her slip? It covers more of her than her "clothes" do.
• Hey, Nate's back next week--I actually kind of missed him. Vanessa, however, not so much.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: When the Lights Go Out

Gossip Girl: The Dark Night

Hmm, well, I think the main story here was what Chuck said to Blair in his attempt to seduce her. Holy heck, that exchange was hot. Mercy.

But B and C getting caught making out by Marcus wasn't so great. And I know Blair is ruthless and says whatever she needs to say, but I was shocked when she told Marcus that she thought Chuck was him (although upon a second viewing, it did sound like Chuck used a British accent! Come the hell on, Chuck!). I love Blair, but if she had stuck to that story, I would have lost some serious respect for her. Obviously, she knew it was Chuck; he's shorter and hotter than Marcus, and she's certainly kissed both of them enough to be able to distinguish between the two. And pretending that you were almost tricked into having sex with someone (which seems an awful lot like rape) just isn't a good thing to do.

At least Chuck finally realized that he was "blocked" not because he just wanted to sleep with Blair but because he wants to be with Blair (I kind of thought he already knew that, but I guess he forgot). So does Marcus kissing Blair at the end signify that he's taking her back? No surprise here (as I am an ardent Chuck lover), but I've had my fill of Lord Marcus. And his crazy stepmom.

Speaking of the crazy duchess, I thought she told Vanessa that if she couldn't have Nate, she'd kill him. We know that Vanessa doesn't take bribes (see the whole video tape incident of early 2008), so I figured she must have threatened something pretty awful to get V to back off. In actuality, she just threatened to tip off the FBI about Nate's dad's whereabouts. That's certainly a nasty thing to do, but Nate should never have told her where his dad was. Also, I wouldn't have a problem if Mr. Archibald was dragged off to the slammer, so it's not that great of a threat in my opinion.

As for Dan and Serena: guess what, they're still "in love" but breaking up anyway (for the same reasons as always). I don't know why Dan can't just make an effort to better deal with the Fabulous Life of Serena van der Woodsen and the perks it entails. But, unlike those poor Team Dan and Team Serena girls they ran into in the park, I've given up on trying to figure out this situation.

• How clever of the Gossip Girl soundtrack people to play Santogold's "Lights Out" in an episode about a blackout.
• Blair's hosting another party?!
• Marcus: "You're a delicate little flower; nothing like that tart Keira Knightley."
• Should Catherine be parading Nate around in fancy stores in the city? Couldn't people see them? I thought they were going to be sneaky.
• Dan's imaginary new friend "Clyde."
• Sorry, even with a cougar duchess thrown into the mix, I still have a hard time paying attention to Nate and Vanessa.
• Even Dorota reads Gossip Girl?
• Oh no, Blair's tipping the duchess off about Vanessa. Ha.
• Random flight attendants fly in from Tokyo just to have sex with Chuck? I'm trying to decide if I'm surprised about that or not...
• The little Team Dan and Team Serena girls were funny. ("How can you get back with Serena again? Don't you know she's just going to lie to you again?")


• Blair: "And for the record, whatever you're planning with Nate, my bedroom floor's off limits."


• Serena: "Who was that?"
  Chuck: "The whiff of the Far East."


• Serena: "You are not using Blair as sexual Drano!"


• Chuck: "Congrats on you and Humphrey. Water always finds its own level."


• Yea Margaret Colin!!! I just love her. (And according to Ausiello, she's going to get Clueless' Mr. Hall as a love interest? He's sweet and all, but no Eric Close.)


• Smart Nate now realizes that the duchess and Blair are setting him up. He's getting good at sniffing out the schemes of others.


• Dan reading the "should they or shouldn't they" threads on the Gossip Girl site.


• Dan: "It turns out most people think I'm an ass, but a passionate minority hold I'm just an idiot."


• Blair: "Marcus tells the funniest story about Harry running naked across their lawn."


• Blair's dress is lovely.


• Chuck: "Have sex with me."
  Blair: "What?"
  Chuck: "Just once, that's all I need."
  Blair: "You are disgusting, and I hate you."
  Chuck: "Then why are you still holding my hand?"


• Catherine: "I don't like sharing my toys, especially if I've paid for them."


• The duchess holds Nate's hand in a room full of people? Someone needs to teach her the definition of sneaky.


• Nate actually thinks "She's giving me money!" is an appropriate excuse in this situation?


• Catherine: "Blair, have you seen Nate?"
  Blair: "Um, no, it's a blackout."


• Dan: "Do you think there's like a box that says 'open in the event of a Serena van der Woodsen emergency'?"


• Gossip Girl: "I hope you kept the receipt for that tiara, B."


• Rufus' date, Claire, is quite youthful.


• Next week, what I would most love to see is Anne Archibald finally proving that she is actually a mother by charging in and declaring that for no amount of money will she whore out her only son. I won't hold my breath though.

It's Headband Monday! Today I wore this tri-colored silk one:

(Gossip Girl photo: cwtv.com)

Great Moments In Television: Now and Again

Now and Again was an awesome show that was canceled well before it should have been. It was exciting, emotional, smart, sexy, and heartfelt. I have never ceased to be proud of myself for discovering this show, and I still miss it.

I don't think I have yet mentioned on the blog that I think Margaret Colin is beyond awesome and how elated I was when she turned up on Gossip Girl. (Seven months ago, if you'd ask me to pick the coolest set of TV parents imaginable, there's a fairly good chance I'd have come up with Margaret Colin and John Shea, so congratulations, Blair Waldorf.) And while I'm glad that Eric Close has found steady work on Without A Trace, that show definitely doesn't fully utilize his talent and extreme hotness. A supporting cast of Dennis Haysbert and Heather Matarazzo (and guest star Chad Lowe!) isn't bad either.

So, here's a clip from one of my very favorite episodes of this much-beloved show. The best part is from around 3:30 into the clip until about 6:30. But stick around to hear about the girls in data processing. (A very cool person uploaded the entire episode to YouTube, so you can watch the whole thing in segments as well.)