SYTYCD: The Terrific Trio

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 3 Performance Finale

• Is it bad that I'm more excited for tomorrow's show when we get to re-watch the best routines of the season than I am for tonight?
• Cat is wearing a black mini dress with elbow-length lace sleeves. It's kind of demure for the final performance show of the season, actually. Maybe she'll pull out the craziness for tomorrow.
• Each contestant is doing FOUR routines AND a solo?! Seriously? Is that really necessary?
• So everyone's doing four routines and a solo, and we still have time for this extremely long recap of the season?

Kent with Lauren (Dev Bollywood):

• The featurette: Kent: "What I want to know is why did she marry an 18-year-old?" Kent: "This Bollywood needs cheesy, and I can deliver so much cheese."
• The dance: Lauren's almost unrecognizable in her Indian costume. Kent's got a nice long silver jacket. It was a good routine, but sometimes it looked like Kent was just barely hanging in there.
• The judging: Mia says it was the perfect tailored Bollywood piece for Kent. Adam thinks the Energizer Bunny should retire. So apparently I'm the only one who thought Kent looked a little gassed. Adam says Kent is the feel good dancer of the year. Lauren apparently almost ran into a post on her way off stage. (Considering Kent is still breathing heavily after the lengthy judging panel banter, I feel pretty justified in my earlier assertion that he looked a bit tired.)

Lauren with Twitch (Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop):

• The featurette: It's a presidential debate. That's different.
• The dance: Um, they're doing an awful lot of standing behind the podiums in the beginning. I wasn't sold on the first section of in-front-of-the-podium dancing, but I think it's getting better as it goes. Twitch for president!
• The judging: Nigel says NappyTabs is just so good at inspiring people to dance. Uhhh, yeah. After misfiring with a Sarah Palin joke, Nigel's trying to tell us that this competition is still anybody's game. Well, maybe not Robert ;-) Mia says Lauren's filthy, and Cat says, "Aren't all politicians?" Mia doesn't know if there's anything Lauren can't do. Mia loves Lauren's balance of masculinity and femininity.

Robert with Mark (Tyce Diorio jazz):

• The featurette: Robert kind of looks just like Mark but with less personality and coolness. Anyway...
• The dance: It is a bit hard to tell who is who with the matching outfits and hair styles. Anytime they hunch down for some of the groovy moves, you can tell which one is Mark though. It was fun, but it was not really revolutionary.
• The judging: Cat asks how much handsomeness we can fit on one stage. Nigel really liked it. Mia says that Robert was "wowed" in the beginning and has gotten more grounded as the show went on. I'll agree; we haven't seen the hand/barf thing lately. Adam thinks working with Mark forced Robert to grow more than dancing with a contestant would have. Adam says Robert actually jumped up for once.

What? Now we have time to have sit-downs with each of the contestants? We're just made of time tonight...

Kent's solo: Open yellow shirt and shorts. He's doing it on purpose, but he definitely wiped out a few times there. Looked kind of painful at times.

Robert and Lauren (Dee Caspary contemporary):

• The featurette: The piece is about them going home and being at peace with the result of the competition.
• The dance: So they went "home" to the same place and are wearing their skimpy pajamas? Kent's going to be so heartbroken when he finds out about this... So, Robert is looking all kinds of good in this one. Possibly my favorite dancing out of him ever. Lauren's doing well too, but I think Rob is actually stealing the show here.
• The judging: Nigel thought there were touches of genius in the choreo. Nigel says the word that sums them both up is strength. Mia says Dee is unreal. Mia says this was by far Robert's most delicious performance. Mia says his humbleness is gorgeous. She says Lauren was perfection. Adam says it was magnificent.

Lauren and Kent (Mandy Moore jazz):

• The featurette: In this piece, they're really themselves.
• The dance: Ok, they're "themselves" but they're wearing nerd glasses? As far as I can tell, neither Lauren nor Kent actually wears nerd glasses. I'm confused. Not sure it's the best look on Kent. He looks like one of the background geeks from Saved By The Bell. And...the glasses are the thing about this routine that left the biggest impact on me. Not too revved up about this one.
• The judging: Nigel doesn't think they were challenged enough for the finale, but they kept the characters up and did what was asked of them. Mia's got glasses on too. Mia thought it was fun and they danced it well, but she didn't really like it because it's just not her cup of tea. Adam says he loves them. And now he just keeps repeating, "Get outta here; I love ya'!" It's bizarre. Lauren and Kent--especially Kent--do a great job of rallying around Mandy and saying that what the judges think doesn't really matter.

Robert's solo: Ok, Robert's finally won me over with his sweetness. He says if he wins the prize money, the first thing he's going to do is look at his mom and ask her what she wants. Awww. And now he's doing his solo to The Postal Service! And it's a good solo! With good choreo! Robert for the win!

Kent with Allison (Stacey Tookey contemporary):

• The featurette: Looking into a relationship that everyone thinks is perfect but really isn't. Stacey's trying to find Kent's maturity here.
• The dance: Allison is perfection. Oh, some really nice side-by-side work and then a beautiful little solo from Allison. Wow, good. Parts of it looked like they were letting Allison steal the show to give Kent a bit of a break on 5-dance night, but, whatever, it was good.
• The judging: Nigel thinks Kent's lines get better. Kent looks shook up from the mature emotion of it all. Mia points out that Kent actually said, "Get off!" at the end because he was so invested. Mia loves how invested he was (which he can be because he's already got great technique). Mia says she needs more ways to tell him she loves him. Adam asks Kent what is going on because he's about to burst into tears, and when Kent starts to explain it, Adam and Nigel totally cut him off. Adam thinks this was magnificent too. Kent seems to have had an almost religious experience here, in that he's got an almost totally different personality right now. The cheese has been dialed waaaaaay down.

Lauren's solo: Dancing to "I'm Going Down" in her typical style: backbends, hair flips, shoulder jerks, etc., all coming fast and furious. It looks better than it sounds, of course.

Robert with Kathryn (Spencer Liff Broadway):

• The featurette: Spencer (to Robert): "You're not a mime!"
• The dance: Ooh, West Side Story. Smart beginning, in that Robert gets a nice long solo before stage-stealer Kathryn shows up. She's rocking the "interrogator" attitude something fierce. Rob was good. That was a good routine.
• The judging: Uh oh, Robert's pants split. Didn't I just say last week that Rob's clothes are just a bit too tight? Nigel and Adam are having a dispute about whether that song is in the WSS stage play or just the movie. Not exactly all that pertinent right now, boys... Anyhow, Nigel liked it. Mia loved the classical feel to it and thought it was danced very well. She thought it could have used a bit more sizzle and simmer. Adam thinks WSS was the best piece of musical choreo ever, and he thought Spencer's takeoff was really good. And Rob was good.

Lauren with Pasha (Tony and Meredith cha cha):

• The featurette: In this routine, Lauren sees Pasha and just loses her mind. Well, that's understandable.
• The dance: Wow, that dress is about as little as it can be. Wow, nice life in the middle. The one bare side of her dress makes everything look so scandalous. The routine was pretty good; it seemed a bit on the slow side, but it was danced really well.
• The judging: Nigel says she's probably the best contemporary girl on the show ever to do a ballroom routine. Which seems a BIT strong to me. (Allison, Kathryn, Jeanine, Courtney G., etc. all rocked ballroom back in the day, and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.) Mia says if she were still dancing, she'd want to dance just like Lauren. Adam says if music were embodied into a person, it would be her. Adam says that was exhibition-style perfect. And, again, I miss Mary Murphy. How have we gone all season with no Hot Tamale Train?

Robert and Kent (Malevos fight):

• The featurettes: These hats are just silly. Kent and Robert took some nasty falls during practice.
• The dance: They look like gangsters (well, Rob more so than Kent). But they're tangoing. Bizarre. Wow, Robert just lifted Kent up and swung him around his shoulders. There's some nice stunt stuff mixed in with some weird tango stuff, making for an odd mix overall.
• The judging: Nigel has never heard of this routine, but supposedly it's what the men do to practice their tango before they go dance with the women. Oookay. Nigel's taking the opportunity to talk about how great all three of the finalists are in general, instead of really talking about this routine. Probably a wise choice. Mia loved the feel of the piece. She liked that it was debonair and still had a 'hood feeling. She acknowledges that the leg work "could be tighter." Adam agrees that certain elements of the precision weren't exactly right, but says it doesn't matter any more. Adam says these three finalists are his three favorite dancers ever on the show. Oh, come on. Stop lying. (And if you're not lying, stop being ridiculous. Three favorite ever?!)

• Cat reads her send-off speech while still wearing one of Robert and Kent's gangster hats from the last number. Awesome.
• I think there were too many routines tonight. There was an awful, awful lot to digest.
• Well, Robert and Lauren both had pretty good nights, but I'll still be stunned if Kent doesn't run away with this tomorrow.

My favorites: Robert and Lauren's contemporary; Kent and Allison's contemporary; Robert and Kathryn's Broadway

Gossip Girl: Diplomatic Breakdown

Gossip Girl:

"The Hurt Locket"

Ahh, Gossip Girl. You've been away for several months and yet I have not missed you. To review, last fall I spent the majority of my Gossip Girl related blog space bemoaning that the show was displaying very little of its past awesomeness in its third season. Then the show ripped off Saved By The Bell by having its characters stage a modern, rhyming version of Snow White, and I just stopped talking about it at all.

I once mused, "Could Josh Schwartz make a show that I don't love?" I now am beginning to fear that the answer to that question is "the third season of every Josh Schwartz show." The O.C.'s third season--with mopey Johnny and cousin Sadie and Volchok and Ryan's one-night stand with a waitress and Kirsten being swindled and Sandy running the Newport Group and Seth burning down the Newport Group with a joint and Dean Hess and Taylor Townsend and Marissa being killed--was no gem. Chuck's third season, at least, has not be bad, but it also hasn't really lived up to the promise of its brilliant last few episodes of Season 2 (and other brilliant episodes in the show's first two seasons).

And then there's Gossip Girl. I'm not sure what to say at this point. I'm getting dangerously close to cutting it loose. I'm not as loyal with television shows as I once was. I haven't watched Damages in weeks because of time slot issues, and I still enjoy that show. I can't say I'm enjoying GG anymore. Also, I was willing to stick it out through The O.C.'s rocky patches in Season 3 because I loved the characters--even when they were doing stupid things that they probably would never have done. I'll stick with Chuck because I genuinely care about those characters too. But I don't care much for any of the residents of the Upper East Side at this point.

Back in the heyday of Gossip Girl, I used to write down line after line after line for my highlights and quotes list. For this episode, I wrote down one quote, and that was Jenny's crack about Dan's Cabbage Patch Kid, which was really just a retread of a joke we've heard many times before.

In any event, here's the play-by-play:

• They are trying to butter me up with some Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros ("Janglin"). Nice try.
• This expository conversation between Serena and Damien is insufferable.
• Oh come on. Are we still worrying about secret societies?
• Wow, Jenny actually spent time with her mother?
• Jewelers operate under a code of client confidentiality?
• Not sure if I'm bummed or glad that we haven't seen Dan yet. Oh, there he is. I think I was glad to not see him.
• Nate just said "Whatever happens, happens." Did he just accidentally get beamed into an episode of Lost?
• Am I supposed to know who this lady is? Was she on the co-op committee?
• Oops, I just fast-forwarded through most of the Dan/Rufus conversation and it was tough to convince myself to rewind and watch the whole scene...
• No, Jenny, all the girls are not going to want to wear pharmaceuticals if they look like that.
• Oh for God's sake, Blair. It's just a secret society. Get over it.
• Of course Serena pairs the drug jacket with a dress with a plunging neckline.
• Jenny actually looks kind of nice. Perhaps it is because her hair is actually brushed and not sticking out of her head like a bird's nest.
• Gosh, I even think I like Jenny's bizarre sparkly/spiderweb dress.
• Holy crap! The slit up the skirt of Serena's dress! She went to party for diplomats dressed like a hooker.
• Jenny: "Why would you take relationship advice from a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll?"
• Wow, Bart really is the gift that keeps on giving. He saddled his son with the guilt of thinking his mother died giving birth to him and that's not what happened?
• Now, GG is trying to butter me up with The xx ("Crystalised"). Play anything you want, GG; it's not going to win me over if Rufus and Lily are on the screen.
• Um, if Serena's having sex in a public coat room, I'm thinking she hasn't changed that much since boarding school.
• So Chuck doesn't know his own mother when he sees her? Bring a freaking picture, Bass. She can't look that much different than she did 18 years ago! (Unless there is some kind of plastic surgery involved.)
• Hey, Blair, if you want the lady to tell you what she knows, perhaps you should not turn and walk away when she opens her mouth to speak?
• OMG, I thought the show was over. There's still more. And it involves Rufus and Lily. Grrrrooooaaan.
• Um, why did Serena steal someone's coat and wear it out of the party? Why didn't she just put her dress back on?
• Well, I know I'm getting tired of looking at Bart's face in that locket.

(Photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Ripping Off Saved By The Bell

Gossip Girl: "The Last Days of Disco Stick"

So, as I was watching Dan's hip hop treatment of Snow White, I was struck initially by how insanely horrible it was. Then I was struck by how oddly familiar it seemed. I realized that Gossip Girl's horrendous re-envisioning of the classic fairy tale with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes was extremely similar to a re-envisioning of Snow White done with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes on Saved By The Bell. In 1992. What's more is that SBTB's Snow White was better written and better acted. (I'll admit that Elizabeth Berkley is no Kanye, but the "kiss me, mama" joke is at least funny. There was nothing funny about GG's version.)



Ok, so we've known for awhile now that Gossip Girl is not what it once was, but I didn't think it had come to plagiarizing Saved By The Bell. And, if the people in charge of GG had to plagiarize SBTB, why of all things would they decide to steal the Snow White hip hop remix?! They should have taken the plot line about when Jessi's dad brought them all to his hotel for his wedding and Jessi tried to sabotage it because she thought her future stepmom was too young. Or the time they all got locked in the mall with the thieves! Or, during Saved By The Bell: The College Years, when Zach faked an illness as part of a scheme to break up Kelly and her professor boyfriend and the clinic ran a whole lot of medical tests on him, which led to this exchange that still makes me laugh:

Kelly: "You've been through a lot today."
Zach: "And a lot's been through me!"

Ahh, Zach and Kelly...

Anyway, If Dan makes it in to Tisch's playwriting program thanks to his rip off of a Saved By The Bell episode from the early '90s, Tisch should seriously consider suing Gossip Girl for libel or slander or defamation of character or something.

Here's a list of my other thoughts (which, let's face it, is really just a list of other things that annoyed me):

• Oh, God, don't make me watch Dan Humphrey's swagger walk. Gag.
• Blair looks dangerously close to wearing leggings as pants! What is going on?! Leggings are not pants!!!
• Poor Leighton has to stand around and wait for 15 minutes while Ed gets his lines out.
• Dan is a COMPLETE idiot if he doesn't see how this threesome thing is going to blow up in his face.
• "Bitches of Eastwick"? That seems like kind of a low-blow in the week after Eastwick's cancellation.
• It seems like half everyone's life is taken up by trying to find Jenny a date to one function or another.
• Hey, Serena, when one is trying to not flirt with one's boss, it's best to not wear backless mini dresses to work.
• Serena hasn't felt like this about anyone since Jude Law in Alfie? She feels like this about Tripp? Not Dan? Not greasy-haired Aaron? Not Carter? Not that con artist guy whose name I forget? Not Nate? Tripp? Why?
• Drug deals happen via mini sailboats in Central Park? Really? That seems like so much extra work.
• Didn't Jenny learn her lesson last year when Rufus had her ass hauled off to jail? Guess not.
• It's true: Nate has been in love trials and did have an affair with a married person.
• What the hell does Nate's mom want with Tripp? Mrs. Archibald's been MIA for a very long time.
• Why would Olivia be Snow White instead of Blair? The whole point of Snow White is that she has pale skin and dark hair.
• So are we seriously trying this Nate/Serena thing again? The GG writers always try to start it up, but then it immediately stops.
• Why are the dwarfs all taller than Snow White?
• Please stop making us relive the threesome.
• How does Nate's mom know that Tripp's wife staged the fake drowning? And why would she feel the need to tell Tripp?
• Well, dummy, this is why you shouldn't invite your boyfriend's best friend join you in a threesome.
• Did Hilary Duff use to be a singer? Or at least a "singer"?
• Thank you, Chuck, for finally putting an end to this madness. Chuck must be so exhausted; all he does is go around fixing everyone else's childish messes. Now if only he could rush down to NYU and fix this mess of a Snow White production...
• This Snow White thing is horrendous. "Painful" is the word that comes to mind. There is no way people are laughing at this. Unless they're laughing at this...as in they're laughing at horrendous it is.
• Stop making us relive the threesome!
• No way this helped Dan's chances of making it into the playwrighting program.
• Wow, Nate looks moody at Tripp barging in on his one-on-one time with Serena.
• SERENA!!! He's still married!!!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
• Ha ha, "Poker Face" is about Cyrus. (Wait, why was Cyrus playing poker with a student-age Lady Gaga? Oh nevermind.)
• Too bad Cyrus didn't make an appearance in this episode. He would have helped.
• How does "take a walk" equate to "go make out in my office"? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Serena.

Used to be, if I started watching a show, I'd watch it until the bitter end no matter what. These days, for whatever reason, I have a much quicker hook. I've already cut out Grey's Anatomy, Fringe, Heroes, FlashForward, etc. Gossip Girl is now officially on notice.