Gossip Girl: Ripping Off Saved By The Bell

Gossip Girl: "The Last Days of Disco Stick"

So, as I was watching Dan's hip hop treatment of Snow White, I was struck initially by how insanely horrible it was. Then I was struck by how oddly familiar it seemed. I realized that Gossip Girl's horrendous re-envisioning of the classic fairy tale with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes was extremely similar to a re-envisioning of Snow White done with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes on Saved By The Bell. In 1992. What's more is that SBTB's Snow White was better written and better acted. (I'll admit that Elizabeth Berkley is no Kanye, but the "kiss me, mama" joke is at least funny. There was nothing funny about GG's version.)



Ok, so we've known for awhile now that Gossip Girl is not what it once was, but I didn't think it had come to plagiarizing Saved By The Bell. And, if the people in charge of GG had to plagiarize SBTB, why of all things would they decide to steal the Snow White hip hop remix?! They should have taken the plot line about when Jessi's dad brought them all to his hotel for his wedding and Jessi tried to sabotage it because she thought her future stepmom was too young. Or the time they all got locked in the mall with the thieves! Or, during Saved By The Bell: The College Years, when Zach faked an illness as part of a scheme to break up Kelly and her professor boyfriend and the clinic ran a whole lot of medical tests on him, which led to this exchange that still makes me laugh:

Kelly: "You've been through a lot today."
Zach: "And a lot's been through me!"

Ahh, Zach and Kelly...

Anyway, If Dan makes it in to Tisch's playwriting program thanks to his rip off of a Saved By The Bell episode from the early '90s, Tisch should seriously consider suing Gossip Girl for libel or slander or defamation of character or something.

Here's a list of my other thoughts (which, let's face it, is really just a list of other things that annoyed me):

• Oh, God, don't make me watch Dan Humphrey's swagger walk. Gag.
• Blair looks dangerously close to wearing leggings as pants! What is going on?! Leggings are not pants!!!
• Poor Leighton has to stand around and wait for 15 minutes while Ed gets his lines out.
• Dan is a COMPLETE idiot if he doesn't see how this threesome thing is going to blow up in his face.
• "Bitches of Eastwick"? That seems like kind of a low-blow in the week after Eastwick's cancellation.
• It seems like half everyone's life is taken up by trying to find Jenny a date to one function or another.
• Hey, Serena, when one is trying to not flirt with one's boss, it's best to not wear backless mini dresses to work.
• Serena hasn't felt like this about anyone since Jude Law in Alfie? She feels like this about Tripp? Not Dan? Not greasy-haired Aaron? Not Carter? Not that con artist guy whose name I forget? Not Nate? Tripp? Why?
• Drug deals happen via mini sailboats in Central Park? Really? That seems like so much extra work.
• Didn't Jenny learn her lesson last year when Rufus had her ass hauled off to jail? Guess not.
• It's true: Nate has been in love trials and did have an affair with a married person.
• What the hell does Nate's mom want with Tripp? Mrs. Archibald's been MIA for a very long time.
• Why would Olivia be Snow White instead of Blair? The whole point of Snow White is that she has pale skin and dark hair.
• So are we seriously trying this Nate/Serena thing again? The GG writers always try to start it up, but then it immediately stops.
• Why are the dwarfs all taller than Snow White?
• Please stop making us relive the threesome.
• How does Nate's mom know that Tripp's wife staged the fake drowning? And why would she feel the need to tell Tripp?
• Well, dummy, this is why you shouldn't invite your boyfriend's best friend join you in a threesome.
• Did Hilary Duff use to be a singer? Or at least a "singer"?
• Thank you, Chuck, for finally putting an end to this madness. Chuck must be so exhausted; all he does is go around fixing everyone else's childish messes. Now if only he could rush down to NYU and fix this mess of a Snow White production...
• This Snow White thing is horrendous. "Painful" is the word that comes to mind. There is no way people are laughing at this. Unless they're laughing at this...as in they're laughing at horrendous it is.
• Stop making us relive the threesome!
• No way this helped Dan's chances of making it into the playwrighting program.
• Wow, Nate looks moody at Tripp barging in on his one-on-one time with Serena.
• SERENA!!! He's still married!!!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
• Ha ha, "Poker Face" is about Cyrus. (Wait, why was Cyrus playing poker with a student-age Lady Gaga? Oh nevermind.)
• Too bad Cyrus didn't make an appearance in this episode. He would have helped.
• How does "take a walk" equate to "go make out in my office"? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Serena.

Used to be, if I started watching a show, I'd watch it until the bitter end no matter what. These days, for whatever reason, I have a much quicker hook. I've already cut out Grey's Anatomy, Fringe, Heroes, FlashForward, etc. Gossip Girl is now officially on notice.