SYTYCD: Deja Vu

So You Think You Can Dance:
The Top 20 Perform...Again

I didn't blog about it, but I called bull-hinky (in the immortal words of my beloved Dale Kettlewell from Greek) on the judge's decision not to send anyone home last week. Personally, I could have picked some people to go home without any trouble at all. But it is what it is: all 20 are back to dance this week, and two girls and two boys will go home tomorrow.

Play-by-play:

• OBAMMMMAAAAAA!!!! Come on, dude. Make your announcements on Mondays or Tuesdays. FOX has skipped covering his speeches in the past in favor of prime time programming, so I'm kind of surprised they're showing him tonight.
• I wish they'd just take Barack's time out of the time allotted for the judges to babble so we can still finish this on time. I say give each judge 30 seconds to give his/her critique and then cut off his/her microphone!
• Ahh, yes, a flashback to last week when the judges showed us yet again that they're always willing to make the rules up as they go along.
  
• I'm starting a campaign: #NoMoreChbeebInTheOpeningCredits #SeasonFiveIsOver
  
• I guess they decided that the solo intros were so boring last week that they're announcing them in pairs tonight.
• Cat is wearing a brilliantly yellow knee-length cocktail dress with a lacy top. I like it, but aside from the color, it's a little dowdy for Cat. The length and the lacy cap sleeves make it look a tad on the mother-of-the-bride side.
  
• Guest judge is dance icon Debbie Reynolds! Let's bring the truth tonight, Debbie!
• Cat shows a clip (featuring Debbie) from one of her favorite movies, Singing in the Rain. They could do a Debbie Reynolds tribute group dance tomorrow night.

Ricky and Ryan (Mandy Moore jazz):

• The featurette: We're sharing each other's secrets tonight. Ricky says Ryan's leg hair grows really fast. That's just TMI. They have to be sexy for this dance and are having problems with that in practice.
  
• The dance: Hey, guess what, it's a Mandy Moore routine set to an '80s song ("Addicted to Love"). I would have never seen that coming... Ryan's smiling too much again. And her non-smile facial expressions are a bit much too. Ricky's looking pretty good in this one. Aside from his snow pants-style outfit, that is. Overall, it was fine, not fantastic.
  
• The judging: Nigel loves it because it was "so raunchy." That's also shocking. Mary is addicted to the two of them. Come on, Debbie, bring the sanity! Debbie, "You fell out of your top, you fell out of your bottom, you gave us your all!"

Caitlynn and Mitchell (Stacey Tookey contemporary):

• The featurette: Caitlynn's secret is that she has boots that turn her feet blue. That's a really lame secret. Hey, guess what, this Stacey Tookey routine is about a relationship that has gone very bad. That's also a shocker.
  
• The dance: It involves two chairs. Caitlynn's dancing in the chair is pretty. They're doing a pretty good job with the emotions behind it, and the dancing is lovely. The concept is a little trite by now for SYTYCD, but it was a nice performance.
  
• The judging: Caitlynn reveals that Mitchell accidentally punched her! Yikes. I thought I saw something go wrong, but I wasn't sure. Mary loves it and is excited to see Cait go further outside her style at some point. Debbie: "I mean, you bled for us!" Lol, Debbie is a riot. Nigel calls it remarkable and says he felt Cait's inner turmoil.

Missy and Wadi (Jean-Marc Genereux cha cha):

• The featurette: Well, at least somebody's dancing out of their style tonight... Wadi laughing at Missy's laugh is pretty endearing. Jean-Marc says this is the most difficult cha cha he's ever choreographed for the show. What is he thinking?! Wadi is a free-running b-boy!!! Missy got on Jean-Marc's nerves during practice.
  
• The dance: So far, this is mostly sexy wiggling, and not much cha cha. Unless this picks up fast, I don't believe for a second that this is the most difficult cha cha routine from Jean-Marc in history. It's so slow! This had "we're novices" written all over it.
  
• The judging: Nigel thought Wadi was a strong partner, but as for his actual technique, a lot was missing. Nigel says other people who have never done the cha cha before have done better than Wadi. He thinks, however, that Missy was very good, and I disagree. Mary says the beginning was spectacular--and admits that's because there was no cha cha dancing in it! She didn't think Wadi did very well either, but she feels for him. She thinks Missy is the cha cha queen. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. Debbie says she'll take Wadi home. HA! Wadi looks uncomfortable. Cat: "You made her night, I think." Wadi: "At least I made someone's night." AWWWWW! Poor Wadi! Don't take it so hard!

Iveta and Nick (Nakul Dev Mahajan Bollywood):

• The featurette: Nick always wears shorts. Yeah, these two have Bollywood written all over them, lol.
  
• The dance: Um, this is a little rough. Part of the problem is the jerky camera work. Part of the problem is Iveta's hair extensions. Independently, they both look ok, but next to each other, they don't look quite in sync. The spinny lift towards the end was nice though.
  
• The judging: Nigel says it was entertaining and they did a good job since they weren't in their style. He does say that others (Joshua and Katee) have done better at Bollywood in the past. Mary saw chemistry between the two of them somewhere in there. Debbie's just excited to be here; she feels 20 years younger. She thinks they were terrific. Nick looks like he wants Debbie to offer to take him home.

Miranda and Robert (Napoleon and Tabitha hip-hop):

• The featurette: Ugh, first Nappy-Tabs routine of the season. Duck and cover... Miranda allegedly has a crush on Tadd. Ugh, this routine is about woodpeckers! I hate woodpeckers! And I hate Nappy-Tabs routines!
  
• The dance: I guess they figured they better show us why Robert is here fast or he wouldn't be around much longer. Ok, color me unimpressed all around by this one. Esp. by Miranda's back flip that she didn't get the whole way around. Most of this looks like something I could do after 2 hours of practice...
  
• The judging: Mary always gets nervous when animals are imitated on this show (little foxes, anyone?) but she liked this one. And then she gushes about Nappy-Tabs. Come on, Mary... Debbie was mesmerized. Then she does the Woody Woodpecker laugh. Nigel: "I'm just worried about how many dancers she's taking home with her tonight!" Nigel thinks Miranda is the "best contemporary dancer he's seen do hip-hop." Oh, come now. I could name a whole score of people, but I'll stop at one: Alex Freaking Wong.

Clarice and Jess (Stacey Tookey contemporary):

• The featurette: Clarice sleeps with her eyes open. Jess draws a stick figure orchestra. Ok, that secret's actually interesting... And then Jess burns all the goodwill his stick figure orchestra inspired in me by saying, "I can't wait to tell my mommy I'm a prince!" in a baby voice. Holy heck, man.
  
• The dance: A contemporary dance inspired by the royal wedding, I guess. This has its moments (her extensions, the too-brief side-by-side part), but it also has some slightly rocky spots. Not bad.
  
• The judging: Debbie says they touched her heart, and she'll take them both home with her with Wadi. Nigel liked parts of it. CAT IS HOSTING AN EVENING IN L.A. FOR WILLIAM AND KATE! Nigel liked the separate stuff, but thought some of the together stuff looked uncomfortable. (Finally, I agree with someone!) Mary calls Clarice "Miss Legs."

Jordan and Tadd (Jean-Marc Genereux Viennese waltz):

• The featurette: Eesh, this was a tough draw for them. Tadd says that Jordan is dumb (in nicer words), but that's no secret, buddy...
  
• The dance: This involves a park bench? Are you kidding me? Her lines are nice, but her style is still a little hoochie for the waltz. Tadd's waltzing could use a little work. Especially his steps when he's holding her up in a lift. He looks a bit staggery there.
  
• The judging: Nigel thinks it was just so beautiful. Nigel seems quite impressed with Tadd's waltzing, considering he's a b-boy. And now he says that this is the best he's seen a b-boy dance something like a Viennese waltz. Put a kibosh on the exaggerations, Nigel. Mary says Tadd is the biggest surprise of the season. She thought his lines were unbelievable. She thought Jordan was beautiful too. Debbie says they were just as wonderful and Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse. (Speaking of exaggerations...)

Melanie and Marko (Mandy Moore jazz):

• The featurette: Melanie has a big issue with people touching her ears. Marko loves to read romance novels. The routine features an old song with a new twist. And a hat. This looks promising.
  
• The dance: Melanie's outfit is rough, but everything else is great. Marko's rocking it. Until he dropped his hat, that is... The concept is good, but the choreo could be a little better.
  
• The judging: Mary thought it was so good. She thinks these two can take on anything that is thrown at them. Debbie thinks they're stars, and Nigel agrees. He thinks they've both got the perfect 50% technique/50% passion combo.

Alexander and Sasha (Napoleon and Tabitha hip-hop):

• The featurette: A sensitive routine about a soldier coming back from Afghanistan and seeing his wife for the first time. Oh, Nappy-Tabs... Trying to recapture the Katee/Joshua glory of yore.
• The dance: Why the soldier's wife is dressed so scruffily, I don't know... Sasha is good. Alex, not so much. He's a little stiff. The uniform is probably not helping that perception though. My favorite part was when Sasha was dancing in the beginning before he came back. That can't be a good sign.
  
• The judging: Debbie loved them. Mary's crying. Emotional exploitation, this routine is. But we've made it through most of two episodes without one of these types of routines (cancer/addiction/war/etc.), so I guess it was only a matter of time. Nigel finds it "ironic" that they did this dance after Obama announced troop withdraw in Afghanistan. He thought they performed it well.
  

Ashley and Chris (Spencer Liff Broadway):

• The featurette: Not a good sign that I completely forgot about the two of them. In this routine, Chris is incarcerated and they have to dance with a row of bars between them. The bars are kind of far apart though, so Ashley could easily squeeze through them if she really wanted to...
  
• The dance: They're dancing well, but Ashley's skirt is kind of stealing the show here. It's quite eye-catching when she twirls. Chris did some cool stuff on the bars. The routine was all right. They danced well, but the concept may have stifled them a bit there.
  
• The judging: Nigel is impressed with b-boy Chris doing jazz. Nigel says the next time they put him in prison, he hopes Ashley comes to visit. Mary talks about 211 degrees and 212 degrees and it's all just a bizarre buildup to putting them on the Hot Tamale Train. Debbie calls them sensational.

I refuse to pick three favorites tonight. I feel like we were just watching various shades of mediocrity for the most part this evening. If forced to pick three, I guess I'd go with:

• Melanie and Marko's jazz
  
• Caitlynn and Mitchell's contemporary
• Chris and Ashley's Broadway

This three-couples-in-the-bottom, four-dancers-go-home thing could get really sticky tomorrow night.

Greek: Moving On

Greek:
"Legacy"

This is it. I've been dreading this moment for weeks, but now it's upon us: the series finale of Greek. One last hurrah with our favorite CRU students.

I'll begin with one last Greek play-by-play, and then I'll get all sentimental at the end of the post.

Highlights and my observations:

• Is Rusty wearing the same flannel shirt that Evan was wearing last week? That would be scandalous. (Ok, I've looked into it, and can confirm that it is NOT the same shirt. I guess it would be a little late in the game to open the Rusty-and-Evan-have-a-secret-romance can of worms...)
• Finals already?! Fastest Greek semester ever!
• Evan! Evan's broken hand!
• Evan says "nothing" is up with his broken hand/arm.
• Um, Casey and Evan aren't really going to be able to come up with "what the KTs are going to try to pull" to save their house. It's hard for non-KTs to think like KTs.
• Actually, Evan, Casey Cartwright stops "thinking about her future" on a fairly frequent basis.
• Calvin has picked accounting as his major. He does not sound too convincing though when he says he loves it. Uh oh.
• Aww, Rusty gave Ashleigh a name tag for her new office.
• Dale's second cousin Barry got married last week and he hadn't left the house in five years!
• Dale: "You don't think it's us, do you?"
• LOL at Dale offering a long list of all the "horrible" Matthew McConaughey movies and still never hitting on the one Rebecca was referring to (Ghosts of Girlfriends Past).
• Ha at both Cartwrights accidentally breaking things upon entering the KT house.
• Oh no, Pledge Spidey's dad is Villian X. Suddenly things make sense. I didn't see it coming; I was blinded by my love of Jonathan Silverman as Richard in Weekend at Bernies.
• YEEAAAAAA! It's a good-old KT brainstorming session! These scenes are seriously one of the best parts of Greek.
• Beaver suggests they try a plan based on the plot of Up but attributes it to something he saw on 20/20!
• Rusty: "You can't blame Luke Skywalker for being Darth Vader's son."
  KT: "Spoiler alert!"
• Cappie: "Pledge Spidey, bring me the action figures! And the Barbies! We're going to need them all!"
• Casey calling Evan "Evan Bacon." LOL.
• Heath, Calvin, Beaver and Ashleigh's "tourist" disguises.
• Wow! Dale's even helping too!
• Tour guide: "Have I told you about our house rabbit adoption center?"
• Ha at Casey yelling "Oh!" in surprise upon seeing Cappie in the organic cafe.
• This is epic.
• And now Rebecca is pretending to be Ashleigh. This is a complicated plan.
  
• Ash's big glasses are cute.
• Evan nailed Beaver's balloon scheme on the head!
• Cappie can graduate!
• Casey: "You accidentally graduated?!"
• Casey: "I get it. Go to her!"
• Rebecca: "So, I got an e-mail from Robin. She says we didn't work out because I'm not a lesbian."
• Dale: "Why didn't we ever work out?"
  Laura: "You don't like to sweat?"
• While I'm not totally on board with Laura being the future Mrs. Kettlewell, the kiss was worth it to see Rebecca getting shoved into the cake.
• Oh, poor Rusty's breaking down.
• IT'S WADE!!!!!!!!!!!! Wade's looking cute with his new haircut!
• Katherine! Aw, Katherine's going to share a KT story! And her story is that she lost her virginity in the KT house... Yikes.
• It's Jen K.! Has she been around this whole time?! She says she regrets writing the article. But she's the editor of the CRU paper, so I guess it worked out for her.
• Oh no, Mr. Parks just singled out Casey and Evan to explain why the house should be torn down. How is that their jobs as law students, exactly?
• Come on, Evan, be a nice person! YEA!!! Evan did the right thing! Good for Evan.
• (Why did they want Evan and Casey to speak anyway if they were just going to tear the house down no matter what? No consensus was reached. Why even bother trying to talk the "protesters" into it?)
• Oh, Beaver! Oh, Rusty! Ohh, they're all crying! Oh, KT house...
• Casey: "You're not my geeky little brother who got beat up by a sixth-grader when he was in high school."
  Rusty: "She was an eighth-grader."
• Casey: "You don't need me or anyone else to look out for you anymore. You can take care of yourself."
  Rusty: "I get that from you."
• Casey: "I did the right thing. I got that from you."
• Uh, no, Evan. You and Rebecca didn't work out because you're still in love with Casey. But it's the last episode, so I guess we have to gloss over that fact today.
• Evan punched the wall!!! (because he was sad about losing Rebecca)
• Rusty's rallying the troops! Aww.
• KT brother: "We can't sleep in tents all winter! In case you forgot, this is Ohio!" (Uh, I didn't forget that it was Ohio. Greek's writers forgot that.)
• Ashleigh: "You know, this room is crazy big!"
• Evan: "Hey, Crappie."
• Oops, I don't think Evan meant to inspire Cappie and Casey to run away together. But that's exactly what he did. And he was super cool about it. Evan has been such a do-gooder today! Redeeming himself for semesters of misdeeds in one swoop!
• Awww, Ash and Rusty!
• Ok, everything's going great and all, but I feel like the resolutions are coming at us at a really rapid-fire pace. It's hard for any one moment to sink in, because there's another one coming right on its heels.
• Ha at Cappie doing jumping jacks before orating.
• Professor: "For your finale I just have one question: Why?"
  Cappie: "Because you're lazy."
• Cappie's real name is "Captain John Paul Jones"!
• Calvin and Heath are going to India to help people.
• Cappie: "You are my legacy, Spitter." (This one gets the distinction of being the Sweetest Line of the Night.)
• Aww, even this Rebecca/Casey hug is making me sad. Holy crap!
• OH MY GOD, they're playing Youth Group's "Forever Young" cover from The O.C.! ARE THEY TRYING TO KILL ME?!?
• (How fitting is it though that Greek borrowed a song from the last show whose series finale made me cry like a little girl?)
• Evan hugging Cappie and Casey.
• DALE JUST KISSED CASEY! Ahahahaha! Everyone's reactions were fantastic.
• Cappie: "Dale?"
• I really wish this Casey "Where to?"/Cappie: "Wherever you're going." exchange--THE LAST LINES OF THE WHOLE FREAKING SERIES--hadn't been spoiled in the promo that ABC Family has been showing all week. Knowing exactly what was coming kinda ruined that moment for me.
  

It's hard not to feel sentimental about this finale. It really does seem like an end of an era--not just for Cappie, Casey, Evan, Rusty, Dale, Calvin, Ash, Rebecca, Beaver, Katherine, etc., but also for me. Greek made its debut shortly after my own collegiate experience ended, and over the years it has allowed me to vicariously experience some college moments I missed out on, as I did not participate in the Greek system; was not part of a messy, never-ending love triangle; and did not engage in too many crazy capers. I guess I was rather like Rusty would have been had he not joined Kappa Tau. (Or like Katherine...but not as stern.) So Greek not only taught Rusty to have fun, but allowed me to experience some of the fun I may have missed.

Even putting aside my college nostalgia issues, Greek has meant a lot to me over the years purely because it is fun. I can remember several times when I was sad or frustrated, and watched an episode of Greek that saved the day. In that respect, the show itself has been a great friend to me.

And, speaking of friends, what I will miss most about Greek is its characters, all of whom I view as my friends (even though I know they're not, in fact, real). Over the episodes, I've raved about Greek's ability to make a spectrum of different people all seem very likable. This extends from the top with the main characters--Casey, Rusty, Cappie--on down to the supporting characters who have gotten to stick around because they're so darn lovable--Beaver, Heath, Katherine, etc. Some shows are lucky if they can create one or two good characters who display a unique personality, have interesting layers, resonate emotionally, and inspire love and devotion from viewers. Greek is--sorry--was a show full of them. And they will all be deeply missed.

P.S. It's not too late to make a spin-off featuring Beaver striving to manage his new job as a kindergarten teacher and his blossoming relationship with a certain Type A law/MBA student.

(photos: abcfamily.com)

The Best Quotes of Greek: Rebecca

It's no secret that Rebecca Logan is not one of my favorite characters on Greek. In fact, aside from people like Frannie and Tripp, Beccs is generally my least favorite of the CRU gang. But while she's brash and self-sabotaging and rude, Rebecca is also smart, quick-witted, brutally honest and usually good for a laugh.

The Best Quotes of Rebecca:

Rebecca: "I will pay anyone $200 to take this tray up to Cappie's room and watch Reba with him. We're on season 5!"

Rebecca: "God, Rusty, you're trying to get them to donate money, not get in your van!"

Rebecca: "At least I didn't sleep with a 16-year-old!"
Mr. Cartwright: "O.M.G!"

Rebecca: "You have to get Ashleigh to forgive me. I've apologized, groveled, told her I liked those silly arm-warmer things she wears. Nothing's worked!"

Rebecca: "No one uses embossed wrapping paper unless they want to get in someone's pants."

Rebecca: "I chased him for three blocks before I realized we're doing Ash a favor by letting him keep that shirt."

Rebecca: "I have a couple gowns that would be perfect for this competition."
Ashleigh: "From what?"
Rebecca: "From being rich."

Betsy: "She does have over 20 years of experience."
Rebecca: "So does Kirsten Dunst, but that doesn't make her movies good."

Rebecca: "I burned your house down once. I'll do it again."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The Best of Quotes of Greek: Calvin

Often serving as Greek's voice of reason, Calvin has dispensed his share of sage advice over the years to Rusty, Evan, Dale, Rebecca, Ashleigh and others. An astute observer of the human condition, Calvin has offered dry sarcasm and brutal honesty, providing a great counterpoint to the zaniness of some of his classmates.

The Best of Calvin:

Rusty: "Look where she's putting those bills!"
Calvin: "Which will be put right back in to circulation. By the end of the week it could be under some kid's pillow."

Calvin: "Look, either turn off the music or leave us out here to die!"
Rusty: "The sad thing is that I know the words to that song."

Calvin: "I don't mind that you're poor. I'd just prefer that you not use the word 'lavish' again. It's weird."

Calvin: "And what does one have to do to be labeled the 'house slob' of Kappa Tau?"

Dale: "We've already lost our pizza break. Do you want to cut the massage circle too?"
Calvin: "Yeah."

Rusty: "Is this still stylish?"
Calvin: "Was it ever?"

Calvin: "It's like watching an episode of Entourage, except cheaper...and actually watchable."

Evan: "I figured you'd love to be in charge of the Omega Chi float. Don't gay guys love floats?"
Calvin: "That's show tunes, jackass."

Calvin: "Thanks for letting me raid your closet, Dale. You were the only person I know that might have clothes resembling anything close to Austin Powers."

Cal: "Gays spend money on Mardi Gras like grandmas on Christmas!"

Calvin: "She handed you her virginity on a silver platter, and you just sent it back to the kitchen."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The Best Quotes of Greek: Dale

While Dale Kettlewell has now been incorporated into the Greek system at CRU, for most of the series he has often be on the fringe, judging the everyone else's exploits from the sidelines. A one-man Greek chorus, if you will. And what a hilarious chorus this sharp-tongued science genius and Lord's witness has been.

Oh, Dale, I'll miss you so.

The Best Quotes of Dale:

Dale: "Cover up your privates! Lord's witness coming through!"

Dale's USAG Ball: "It's going to be a sin-free evening filled with non-alcoholic drinks, line dancing, and subtle proselytizing."

Dale: "When I told my parents about your descent into the Greek sect, my mother cried, and my father said 'G.D.' for the first time in his life."

Dale: "Have fun perpetuating stereotypes of wasted, reckless youth, Rusty."

Dale: "Oh, well, I used my last bottle of chloroform when I was on Murder, She Wrote."

Dale: "G darn it. This campus has endless available locations for undeserving, perverted students that want to act inappropriately, but when a group of elite academics what to blow off some steam while debunking Aristotelian physics, suddenly everything's booked up? I call bull hinky!"

Dale: "Hey, how 'bout a little Bible Boggle, huh? Remember that time you spelled Leviticus and Harvy Brewbauer cried?"

Kirk: "Hey, Dale, your pajamas just blew out the window!"
Dale: "Huh. Must be the light weight cotton, you know 'cause my winter flannels never have that problem."

Rusty: "Now I have to prove to the actives why I'm a true Kappa Tau."
Dale: "Well, you could just show them a biopsy of your decayed liver."

Dale: "I have to fight off a surly mechanical engineer to get this spot. I told him to build a bridge...and get over it."

Dale's new roommate is deathly pale, has a weird, unplaceable accent and wrote a Dale thank you note for making his own bed.

Casey: "I just met a Canadian guy who was looking for a roommate. He was really nice."
Dale: "This Canuck is relentless!"

Dale: "Aren't you a little concerned about the verbiage? 'Liberal arts.' It seems like it would attract a certain element. Like socialists, tree-huggers, and general deviants."

Dale: "I DVR The View all week so I can watch them all back-to-back. I just love it when Hasselbeck serves them supper."

Max: "Rusty's concerned that you never leave the apartment. Are you avoiding something out there?"
Dale: "Yeah, vegans and Coldplay fans."

Dale: "Essays? Oh no, that leaves too much room for teacher interpretation, and frankly this guy's kind of a nutbag."

Dale: "Can anybody tell me why this class is worth three units? Every first-grader in Wetumpka knows that the pig is whipping that guy because of lustfulness."

Dale: "But it's not the end of the world! Don't you read the Scriptures I leave on your pillow? There's going to be signs!"

Lana: "I don't date guys with issues."
Dale: "Someone without a college degree shouldn't be so choosy."

Dale: "Really? Cappie didn't mention that in his Christmas newsletter. It did have a fantastic date nut bar recipe."

Dale: "Nice glasses, J.J. Have you figured out how Lost is going to end yet?"

Dale: "You'll get one of my deep-fried snacks when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands!"

Dale: "There's Casey! I could spot those blond locks in the middle of a Swedish flea market."

Dale: "Do you know the CRU Atheist Club has their own ski trip? They should get used to a warmer climate where they're headed."

Rusty: "I don't think the Bible would approve of you stealing thy neighbor's goat."
Dale: "The Bible doesn't say zip about kidnapping they neighbor's goat to psych thy neighbor out before the big game."

Dale: "Let's be honest, with that dimpled chin and those buttery blond highlights, it's pretty clear who is in the right here."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The Best of Quotes of Greek: Ashleigh

Like BFF Casey, Ashleigh Howard is a pop culturally astute young woman trying to make her way in the world while managing boys and friendships and school and life after college. She's had some setbacks, but never allows them to crush her spirit, and her triumphs are well-deserved. Rusty said it best when he called her a "human magnet" who draws people to her. She is a sunbeam of light: fun, irreverent, honest, generally happy, caring, quirky and lovely. (And I didn't just compare her to a sunbeam solely to hearken back to that infamous rainbow sweater of hers.)

The Best Quotes of Ashleigh:

Ashleigh: "...which is why, in many ways, I think that Ferris Bueller is my generation's Gatsby."

Ashleigh: "Yeah, we've seen each other through good times and bad. Like that time you hooked up with that 16-year-old! Oops!"

Fisher: "When I first met you, you know, I kind of imagined us doing the whole going-out thing."
Ashleigh: "I imagined you naked."

Ashleigh: "You are not Rusty. You have much, much daintier features...except his hands."

Ashleigh (to Heath): "It's a good thing you're pretty."

Ash: "You know how P. Diddy has an all-white ball in the Hamptons? I was thinking that we could do a similar thing here and have an all-blue ball."
Cappie: "I can't top that."

Ash: "You used to be this focused, driven person. When did you become this girl? Someone who sits around making lists and second-guessing your choices. Paging Dr. Grey! No, wait, you are more like Joey Potter. No, you're worse. You're the F word."
Casey: "Don't say it!"
Ash: "Felicity."
Casey: "You bitch."

Ash: "He smells like cupcakes and man."

Ash: "But sexy fierce or scary fierce? ...I want to look hot, but also threatening, like 'cheat on me again, and I will cut you.'"

Ashleigh: "I think Clueless is one of the greatest movies in the history of movies!"

Casey: "I'm like the worst detective ever."
Ashleigh: "Oh, stop. Remember Inspector Gadget? He needed a dog and a 10-year-old girl to solve anything."

Ashleigh: "And they sleep where they poop. You can't trust a bunny."

Ash: "It's a fun way to start of the semester. You have a boyfriend. I'm single. We're arsonists."

Ash: "After graduation, I'm just going to have to live off the land."

Ash: "If you ask me what my weaknesses are, I'm going to tell you!"

Ash: "Who knew finding a job would take so long? It always happens so fast in movie montages."

Ash: "Casey took a 'Which Friend are you?' quiz on Facebook, and she's a Rachel. She wishes! She's more like a Ross."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The Best Quotes of Greek: Rusty

Rusty Cartwright has spent his college years not only straddling the very different worlds of honors physics and fraternities, but also by being a loving brother, loyal friend, and all-around sweetheart. While Rusty is not as out-there as Dale or his KT brothers, he is surprisingly funny. In fact, his sweet, mild-mannered nature often makes his comments even funnier than those of his more wild cohorts.

The Best Quotes of Rusty:

Rusty: "[The fraternity] is closed this weekend because most of the guys are away in Mexico...building huts... It's for humanity...like Habitat for Humanity, but huts...so 'hubitat'."

Karen (Rusty's mom): "Why did he call you 'Spitter'?"
Rusty: "That's my nickname... Yeah, I spit on injustice everywhere. Figuratively."

Rusty: "When I was 16, I borrowed her car for my DMV test, and I ended up in a grocery store parking lot, and I ran over one of the coin-operated horse rides."

Ashleigh: "He said polymers are about as interesting as a dirt sandwich.'
Rusty: "A dirt sandwich that's found in almost every adhesive--"
Max: "--and lubricant on the planet! Stupid knuckle-dragging astrophysicists!"

Casey: "I like Max."
Rusty: "I should warn him. You date like Sherman's March, Casey. Scorched earth and broken spirits left in your wake."

Rusty: "Yes, I am in a frat, but we prefer fraternity, actually. I mean, would you call your country a--"

Rusty: "I guess you could say that when it comes to little boys, I have the touch... That's not what I meant."

Rusty: "Now go out there and proudly spread your seed! ...I'm really not sure what's wrong with me today."

Rusty: "Do you realize how many nights in high school I sat alone watching Joan of Arcadia with my mother while Casey went out with all of her friends."

Rusty: "She already has friends in New York. What, do they sit around Central Perk? Talk about what to name Rachel's baby?"

Dale: "Dude, comic book conventions are just crawling with hotties! Everyone know that."
Rusty: "Yeah! No, they don't."

Rusty: "The preppy jackass!"
Evan: "What did you call me?"
Rusty: "You heard me!"

Rusty: "How many times do I have to get hit in the face before it's about me too?"

Rusty: "We just value weird things, like spitting tequila on girls and eating a table leg."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The Best Quotes of Greek: Casey

Casey Cartwright is the sun that anchors the Greek solar system. By and large over the years, it has been Casey's romantic entanglements we've navigated and Casey's personal growth we've championed. Her mistakes and imperfections have made her all the more likable and relatable as our heroine, and it's nice that she seems to not realize how awesome she is. It's not easy being a main character amongst a group of standout sidekicks and peripheral players capable of stealing every scene in which they appear, but Casey's charm and charisma has kept her firmly rooted in our hearts. When you consider how smart, perceptive, funny, beautiful and strong Casey is, it comes as no surprise that she attracts such ardent devotion from her friends, her sorority sisters, her brother, her boyfriends, her other admirers and Greek's faithful viewers.

The Best Quotes of Casey:

Frannie: "I want to come back to ZBZ."
Casey: "I want Jessica Simpson to stop putting out CDs, but you can't always get what you want."

Casey (when Rusty expressed disappointment with the realities of Spring Break): "It's the New Year's Eve syndrome; you can never live up to the hype. I blame the media."

Rusty: "Two hours. That's all I need."
Casey: "Rusty, two hours was all you needed for your driver's test, remember?"
Rusty: "I knew you'd bring that up!"
Casey: "It took four produce men and five quarters to get my car off that horse!"

Casey: "I can't do it anymore, Max. I can't compete with Sarah. She was a world-saving Buddhist philosopher who died tragically young from cancer. Last week, I got visibly upset because someone dribbled coffee on my Entertainment Weekly."

Casey: "Last year, two girls almost came to blows over whether Cameron Diaz looks better as a blonde or brunette. And, yes, those two girls were Ashleigh and me."

Casey: "And all that plan got Jerry Maguire was a goldfish and Renee Zellweger, and we don't want either of those."

Ashleigh: "You don't know what it's like to go through college without a boyfriend. You went from Cappie to Evan to Max. And then you went from Evan to Cappie to..."
Casey: "If she says Max, I will cut you."

Frannie: "You're such a creature of habit."
Casey: "And you're such a creature!"

Casey: "Since Max has been gone, I've gotten so much done: cleaning, organizing... I'm thinking of taking up an instrument."

Casey: "Last week my father said the world better watch out for me, and I'm thinking why? Because of my ability to name every guy Carrie Bradshaw slept with in season order?"

Ashleigh: "I'm pretending you're the lemon!"
Casey: "Bitter's not pretty, Ash."

Casey: "Do you think cats put us on their pillows?"

Casey: "She mentioned she has an 8 a.m. class she hates, but who can blame her? Brains don't work that early."

Casey: "She's not some normal girl who only learns about sex by teenage vampire movies! She reads! So you're not only competing against Robert Pattinson but also Lady Chatterley's Lover."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The Best Quotes of Greek: Cappie

In honor of Greek's impending series finale, I decided to look back through my previous Greek-centric blog entries and pull out some of the show's funniest quotes ever for a "Best Quotes of Greek" list. This undertaking turned out to be a somewhat herculean task. I haven't blogged every single episode of Greek--but I covered a lot of them. And the show is darn funny.

As I was going through the posts, it quickly became clear that I wouldn't be able to cover all of my "Best Quotes of Greek" with one post. It would have been gigantic. The list must be broken down, so I decided to split the quotes up by character. These lists also are a nice way to individually pay tribute to the show's characters who have shown so brightly over the years.

Since it was Cappie's line (the one about running on vomit) that initially solidified my love of Greek, it only seems appropriate to kick off the "Best Quotes of Greek" lists with him. Also, when you think "quip" and "Greek," you think Cappie. It should surprise no one that of all the Greek characters, Cappie's list of funny quotes was the longest. And for every one of these Cappie quotes, there are probably 30 more I didn't pick but could have. He is the comedic backbone of this show, and even when you find yourself annoyed by his general reluctance to grow up, you cannot help but be amused by the things that come out of his mouth. The boy grounds his one-liners in his astounding knowledge base of pop culture, literature, and history, and while his grades might not display his brilliance, his jokes sure do.

The Best Quotes of Cappie:

Cappie: "We may be puking, but the Omega Chis are not used to running on puke like we are."

Besides girls, Cappie's other interests are "beer, Days of Our Lives, and mentoring youth."

Rebecca: "I have new respect of Chelsea Clinton."
Cappie: "Me too! Now that she's grown into her face, she's foxy."

Cappie: "You're skipping classes, you're avoiding schoolwork... It's like you're a real, live boy."

Beaver: "They just mooned us."
Cappie: "Yeah, everyone except for Rusty; he just showed his underpants."

Cappie: "You're insane, Chip."
Dale: "It's Dale."
Cappie: "I knew it was one of them."

Cappie: "Is it a rainy day or Monday? Those always get me down."

Rusty: "This year's almost over and I only dated one girl."
Cappie: "And you see no obvious connection between this fact and the diary?"

Cappie: "'Serial monogamist' is just a stone's throw away from being 'the marrying kind'!"

Cappie: "You were supposed to take care of the fish this week, not eat them!"
Rusty: "Then why'd you give us bibs?!"
Cappie: "This is a baby fish papoose pouch!"

Rusty: "I kissed Jordan."
Cappie: "Who? Michael Jordan? Jordan Knight? Jordan Catalano? Don't tell me you kissed Andy's Jordan!"
Rusty: "I wish I kissed Michael Jordan."

Rusty: "Cappie, I have something behind my back that's going to make you very happy."
Cappie: "Sounds like Heath's department."

Dean Bowman: "You are the most accomplished and promising students at CRU."
Cappie: "Believe me, if I could shoot myself a quizzical look right now, I would."

Evan: "Why do you feel the need to call me by my full name every time we talk?"
Cappie: "I like it. Makes you sound like a comic book villain. ...So why don't you trust me, Evan Chambers?"

Evan: "It's like a compulsion."
Cappie: "Your face is like a compulsion."
Evan: "That doesn't even make sense."
Cappie: "Your face doesn't make any sense."

Cappie: "Conflict in the Cartwright clan? Paging Danny Tanner!"

Cappie: "Kill her, then have sex with her! It's the Kappa Tau way! I didn't mean that."

Hilary: "You're David Wong?!"
Cappie: "Yes. Yes, I am. I was adopted by two gay dudes...from China."

Cappie: "What is it, Spitter? It kind of freaks me out when you walk in and stare at us with that serial killer smirk."

Cappie: "Hey, why are kittens called 'kittens'? They're little cats; shouldn't they be called 'cattens'?"

Rusty: "Are you growing up?"
Cappie: "You shut your damn mouth!"

Rusty: "A C-section? How old are these phone numbers?"
Cappie: "Well, hopefully older than nine months."

Cappie: "She's tall, she's pretty...stern. The word 'Nordic' comes to mind."

Cappie: "I hope she's easier than your sister. Try pleasing her! Rewind: try finding the perfect gift for her."

Rusty: "Success tonight means my first Valentine's!"
Cappie: "It's like I'm reliving first grade through you."

Rusty: "I wanted to punch you, but I couldn't."
Cappie: "Yeah, I know. You've got weak wrists."

Cappie: "That's what Heath said. Ha ha."

Cappie: "Daley won't even do book club anymore. Even after I shared my erotic fixation with the Bronte sisters."

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Rusty and the Chambers of Secrets

Greek:
"Agents of Change"

Oh, fellow Greek lovers, I don't even want to think about it. This time next week, Greek will be over. Gaaaaaa! There, I said it. Now let's try to ignore that awful thought for a while longer.

This episode was great. Then again, every episode of Greek seems great now that we're in the fuzzy haze of nostalgia... But we're not talking about that right now.

Highlights and observations:

• Laura, thank you, that's what that girl's name is. It's been bothering me for weeks.
• Lol at Cappie, Beaver and Heath seeing who can jump on the bed the longest. Wait, no, that's not Heath. Not sure what that kid's name is. Was Heath too busy to jump on the bed? Oh, it's Anthony Hopkins.
• Who is "Villain X"? It's driving me nuts.
• Chambers International wants to buy Rusty's wire!
• Cappie: "Ah, a boy and his wire. The unconventional love story of the summer."
• Nooooo, Casey! Don't invoke the name of Frannie! That's asking for trouble.
• I love Calvin avenging Dale. Or trying to, anyway.
• Evan! In flannel! What a delightful surprise.
• Evan's room is sparse.
• Evan: "Rusty, I'd go now before paddles start coming off the wall."
• Ha! I love Rusty, but I can't deny that I find Evan treating him like crap on occasion to be pretty amusing.
• Lol at Ashleigh shaking her head at the Drew Lachey suggestion.
• Does Frannie really count as a ZBZ alum after she disassociated and formed IKI?
• Cal: "You know that dream where you're naked and the whole school's laughing at you?"
  Evan: "They're applauding. But go on."
• Jonathan Silverman! Yes, thank goodness he's here.
• Rebecca: "A Bieber in the hand is worth two Lacheys in the bush."
• Evan brought Rusty with him to visit the parents? Great plan to make an already awkward situation even worse...
• Rusty: "This is where you grew up? You are Lex Luthor."
  Evan: "I heard that. Just like I had to hear NPR Science Friday the whole way down here."
• Rusty: "Mmm, that's good water, Mrs. Chambers! Best I've ever had!"
• That was not a very smooth segue, Ev.
• Dale! And Calvin! Aww, Dale's sad.
• I'm having a hard time remembering these good old days when the Omega Chis weren't a miserable bunch of jerks.
• Dale: "I've turned down my collars; I'm done."
• I like that Rusty is getting this insight into the sucking sucky world of being a Chambers.
• Eew, Evan's dad spies on him.
• Cappie: "I know a sorority where the food is hot and the women are cold. No, wait, they're both hot."
• LOL at Cappie's scream of terror when he saw Frannie.
• Cappie: "Nice to see you too, Frannie. This is Pledge Spidey. Please don't turn him to stone."
• Dale (to Tripp): "Can it, Prince Harry."
• Whoever this first Omega Chi pledge guy who stood up to talk is, he's lovely.
• Aww, Pledgy Spidey has some moves! It's good he happens to know the words to Bieber's songs so he can lip-synch. I wouldn't be able to pull it off.
• Learning moment time:
  Ash: "Being president was fun."
  Casey: "Fun? For me it was transformative. Is it wrong for me to want to give back to something that made me so much of who I am?"
  Ash: "No, it's not wrong. But how much more are you going to give?"
• I feel like between Frannie and Ash, Case is getting a hard dose of reality right now.
• See? I knew CRU was in Ohio! So why had it not snowed there for years and years?! It snows in Ohio, people!!
• That's cool that Chambers International will let Rusty work on the wire after he graduates.
• I love how Evan's pledge paddle was prominently displayed on the wall while Rusty and Evan finally made nice.
• Is that really Calvin's last "patented diatribe"? I'll miss them.
• Rebecca: "Oh, we totally will. If little Tyler Gentry Manning ever wants to see his nana again."
• Oh NO. Pledge Spidey is the saboteur?! Ohhh no. And what is in Cappie's letter from the college? I'm nervous.
• How depressing would it be if the KTs only have one pledge and it turns out he's trying to take them down?!
  

Ohhhhhhhh, I'm going to be a massive wreck at this time next week. Frankly, I'm already not feeling so great. Cannot believe there's only one episode left.

We did cover some solid ground in this episode: We patched up Evan and Rusty (which was no easy task). We reconciled Dale with the Omega Chis and got Tripp to stop acting like a flaming butthead. We got some closure with Frannie. We got Casey to realize that spending the next three years in the ZBZ house might not be the best life choice. We got Ashleigh a job that she likes and is good at. We even got Rebecca to calm the heck down a little bit. Those are some serious strides!

Wish list for the finale: Casey and Evan have to make up. And if Cappie and Evan could make up too, that would be icing! The KTs have to figure out if Pledge Spidey is the saboteur. Beaver and Katherine have to get married. (Lol, that one was a joke. Kind of.) We need to have some touching moments between the great sets of friends: Casey/Ash, Cappie/Evan, Rusty/Dale, Rusty/Calvin, Casey/Katherine, Rusty/Cappie, etc. We need a sweet Casey/Rusty brother/sister moment that causes us all to tear up. And as an extra bonus--from the looks of the preview--we finally get the kiss we've all been waiting for: Dale and Casey!! Ha. At least that will give us a reason to smile through our tears...

BTW, I'm going to try to post some Greek wrap-up stuff throughout this week. I want to give a proper send-off to the CRU kids I love so much.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Mock Trials and Tribulations

Greek:
"Subclass Plagiostomi"

Ok, kids. Grab your tissues: by my calcu- lations this is the third to last episode of Greek. What a sad state of the world we find ourselves in...

Let's brace ourselves. No more weeping tonight--we'll get to that in (sob) two weeks.

Highlights and observations:

• Evan's hair looks even shorter this week.
• Evan: "Oh, it's totally personal." Ha. Oh, Evan.
• Beaver describing Joshua Whopper as "the Asian in the basement."
• Cappie: "Dale-y won't even do book club anymore. Even after I shared my erotic fixation with the Bronte sisters."
• Ashleigh and Cappie are taller than everyone else at the job fair. That has to count for something.
• Ok, this sounds promising: a former professor with a new marketing business. Well, it seemed promising until I saw that webisode...
• Tripp fixed Dale up with NATALIE?!? Ha ha ha. There's a couple I can get behind.
• Evan has no tie today, but he is wearing a vest.
• No, Evan, no, you do not miss Rebecca!! PLEASE tell me this is just Evan being diabolical and playing mind games with Casey. Phew, it is just Evan being diabolical! Close call, there.
• I seriously prefer Evan being evil to Evan missing Rebecca.
• Lol at post-coital Katherine (and uneasy Casey).
• Katherine: "A shark would just (hand motion) tear him limb from limb."
• Whoa, Ash has found herself a sugar daddy. This is making me uneasy.
• Katherine: "You better watch out, because we are so ready! We're like 22-year-old virgins, and I should know, having been one."
• HA! Katherine just slapped panicking Casey! Oh. My. Gosh.
• Casey: "Does this say 'shark' to you?"
  Cappie: "Werewolf, actually."
• Natalie (to Rebecca): "Maybe you can have your formal with the Tri-Pi's. You were a lesbian once, right?"
• Rebecca: "I burned your house down once. I'll do it again."
• It's nice how upset Rebecca is over this Dale thing. I didn't know she was such a fan of Dale's. Granted, a lot of her anger is a result of Natalie trying to take down the ZBZs, but I think she's got a soft spot for Dale.
• Cappie: "Are they talking about Sigourney Weaver?"
• Holy crap, the Omega Chis have sunk to a new low. Messing with Dale is like kicking a puppy. Who knew Evan was a steadying moral force in that house?
• Whoooooaaaaaaaa. Evan's saying all his evilness is because Casey took herself away from him and then took Rebecca away? Uh, ok. I love Evan, but even I'm not buying this one. I seem to remember him being a little evil before Casey broke up with him.
• Casey's not having it. She calls Evan's bluff--except it wasn't a bluff this time. And Evan's sad. Awwww.
• Rusty: "Natalie told Rebecca, who is the world's weirdest Dale defender, but I still believe her."
• Uh oh, Cappie's speaking the truth about this Ashleigh/Simon situation. And being logical. And smart. That's always a little disconcerting.
• Can you call opposing counsel as a witness?
• Oh dear, Dale has no pants.
• Dale's dance moves leave something to be desired.
• OMG, the evil Omega Chis had Dale take off his shirt and moon the audience! Oh no.
• Aww, Dale's going to finish the song! And Rusty and Calvin went out on stage in their underwear too for moral support! (Aside from the underwear, this scene reminds me of Little Miss Sunshine.) How sweet! There's "brotherhood" for you. (Can I get the odds on someone using that exact line in the next 10 minutes?)
• It's too bad Heath's not around for this talent show performance. We all know that he doesn't have a problem dancing around in his underwear ;-)
  
• Oh no, Dale's pummeling Tripp! Come on, land a punch to the face at least, Dale!
• So if Tripp and the Omega Chis were just messing with Dale and aren't the ones doing the other KT sabotage, who is?
  
• Um, if this is how Casey and Evan are treating each other, maybe it's good they didn't go to law school as a couple. This is bad enough as it is.
• Rusty: "I guess the whole school's seen us naked now. It's kind of nice to have that out of the way."
  

So, at this point, it's time for me, as a sometime Casey/Evan shipper, to concede that we've run out of time. Casey and Evan as a couple is not going to happen*. At this point, it's looking iffy on whether they'll even get to the point of being friends again by the time the show's over. Not to mention Evan and Cappie! We've got a lot of relationship/friendship angst to heal in a short amount of time.

*At least by the end of the series. I suppose they may leave the possibility of a future reunion slightly still on the table.

Previews for next week: Oh NO! It's Franny! Personally, I could have lived if Frannie hadn't showed up in the final batch of Greek episodes. I have not missed her.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: The Kiss of Truth

Greek: Midnight Clear

Well, fellow Greek aficionados, it's time to face the unfortunate truth: Our time at Cyprus-Rhodes is almost up, as evidenced by this finale cast photo posted on EW.com last week. Boy, does looking at that picture make me feel sad. They're smiling, but they are melancholy smiles. And I can relate: a melancholy smile is the best you're going to get out of me when I'm thinking of Greek's rapidly approaching March 7 finale.

Once you get past the sheer sadness of the idea of Greek ending, looking at that picture brings some other things to mind. First, Casey's outfit is amazing. Second, what the hell happened to Evan's hand?! Is that part of the plot? Or did Jake McDorman break his hand in real life? It seems like they could have pretty easily hidden his hand behind another cast member if they'd wanted to, so I think it's a clue. But how does Evan break his hand? Punching Cappie? Getting hit with a pledge paddle by Rusty? The plot thickens...

Highlights and observations (apologies--these are not quite as thorough as usual; my computer froze up during Truth or Kiss):

• Ash: "Casey took a "Which Friend are you quiz on Facebook and she's a Rachel. She wishes! She's more like a Ross."
• Can I come to the "lovers of Calvin" party? I'm a lover of Calvin.
• This is the first snowstorm at Cyprus-Rhodes is 50 years? I thought they were in Ohio! Where'd I get that clearly erroneous idea?
• Casey: "Ashleigh became a fan of Color Me Badd! She hates novelty '90s bands! What is wrong with her?!"
• They are talking about pre-nups already in law school? That seems kind of advanced for week four or whatever it is.
• EVAN!!! EVAN!!! EVAN!!!
• Dale: "Let's be honest, with that dimpled chin and those buttery blond highlights, it's pretty clear who is in the right here."
• Cappie: "Why do you care that I care? Why is there no "Real World: Cleveland"? ... So many questions..."
• Rebecca: "Were there any signs that things were going bad between you two before you broke up?"
  Casey: "Well, he slept with you."
• Lol at Calvin and Heath walking in on Rusty when he was putting Ash's lipstick on his face to see if she was the mystery girl.
• Katherine: "Casey! Keep up!"
• Oh no, Katherine, please call you and Walter "a relationship"! That's what I'm calling it!
• Maybe Evan just doesn't like you, Rebecca. Because you're annoying!
• Evan really doesn't know Rebecca very well if he thinks she's going to make it through the whole party without causing drama about this.
• Rusty: "Shoulder! Is that the same thing as the arm?"
  Calvin: "Yeah, it's the top of the arm. Or the bottom of the neck."
• Lol, "Tripp and Dale" has replaced "Cap and Dale"
• Dale: "Jenga? It's my middle name!"
• Casey and Evan: "Why is she kissing my law professor?"
  Rusty: "Why is she kissing that old guy?"
• The roads are closed, and Heath's not coming :-( Boo, I miss Heath already.
• Casey: "And what is that age exactly? Does it start with a 3 or a 4?"
• Cappie: "Suck it, Kettle-smell!"
• Casey: "Are you blind already? Why else would you be dating someone who is old enough to be -- Color Me Badd! That's why you fanned them on Facebook!"
• Major LOL at Casey pointing at her elbow and saying, "Is this spreading?" when Ashleigh was trying to elicit support for Simon coming with them to Dobbler's.
• Lol at Dale asking Casey a complicated math problem so she'd have to kiss him! But she didn't! Aw, poor Daley.
• Whoa, that game of Truth or Kiss got real fast.
• Cappie kissed Evan!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
• Ha ha at Evan gargling his beer after kissing Cappie.
• Ha at Dale telling Ashleigh that there's a bucket around if she needs to hurl after kissing Rusty.
• Ok, I'm sorry, but DOES Rebecca deserve to be treated better than this after her Truth or Kiss antics?! She did after all just announce to a group of people that Cappie is better in bed than Evan. Then she forced Casey to corroborate. And then she wonders why Evan is acting pissed off?! OY VEY.
• Aww, Ashleigh and Casey are not a college relationship. They will always be each other's soul mates.
• Oops! Reunion, interrupted! Casey is not thrilled to find out that Ashleigh kissed Rusty for real.
• What DOES Casey have to do with your breakup with Rebecca, Evan? Hmmm, let's think. I bet if we think really hard, we can figure it out...
• "Watch your back in law school. Because now the gloves are off." Oooh, that's real scary, Chambers.
  

All right, folks: And now for the main event! It's Cappie/Casey/Evan version 4.0 (5.0?). We've all seen it coming (again). It's time to settle this one once and for all. We are, after all, almost out of time...

photo: abcfamily.com

Greek: When the Morning Comes

Greek:
"Fumble"

Well, we were all grappling to come to terms with things tonight. Rusty was trying to figure out what exactly had happened to him the night before. Casey knew that what she'd been up to the night before could lead to trouble (she had had drunken, unprotected sex with Cappie) and spent the day dealing with the fallout from that. And as for me, I spent the evening trying to come to terms with the fact that every episode of Greek from here on out will not be as magical as the Beaver-centric "All About Beav" of two weeks ago.

Last week's episode wasn't as fantastic as "All About Beav," but it did have some rather funny moments. This episode, however, wasn't as amusing. Not that it was bad; it was just pretty serious. Thank goodness we (and Calvin) had a chance to watch Rusty uncover his own humiliating drunken episodes and that Katherine turned up to whip off some fantastic lines about how she has "taken a lover." All in all, the episode was fine, but it didn't leave me in a state of rapture like the really great episodes of Greek do.

Also, there was no Evan.

Highlights and observations:

• Casey: "She'll misinterpret things and think we're getting back together."
  Cappie: "Is that such a bad thing? It's what the people want!"
• Rusty: "Well, I either kissed a girl or gave a clown mouth-to-mouth."
• Dale: "Thanks for the heads up that Ashleigh was sleeping on the couch. I got up to get a drink of water and she saw my Full Monty in the fridge light."
• Dale: "Hi, Calvin. I'd stay and talk, but I'm making a dramatic exit."
• Calvin: "What's with the eyewear, Snooki?"
• Katherine: "I have taken a lover."
• Casey: "Wait, wait, you're sleeping with Beaver, and his name is Walter?!"
• Katherine's daughter's name is going to be Anastasia. :-)
• Ooh, Ash is in a saucy mood today.
• Prof. Simon's daughter (Hailey) is cute. Until she starts talking, that is...
• Calvin: "It's like watching bizarro Rusty."
• Calvin: "She handed you her virginity on a silver platter and you just sent it back to the kitchen."
• Awwwww, Beaver and Katherine :-) :-) :-)
• Katherine: "I think your exact wording was, 'Ok, you can have me now.'"
• Whoa, now Prof. Simon's daughter is talking about One Tree Hill. OTH is on everyone's lips this week.
• Is Ashleigh's "Pedro" Prof. Simon or Rusty? I feel like Prof. Simon is just a giant red herring here.
• Rusty: "Please have my wire. And be my soul mate."
• Cappie: "No, but she can't have gotten far."
  Casey: "Unless she's in the back of a van!"
• There had to be a safer way to get Hailey down from the rock climbing wall.
• Ashleigh: "No, no, I was just admiring this girl's hair. It's so soft."
• Ok, so Prof. Simon is maybe not a red herring? He wants to take Ashleigh to dinner, so we know he likes her anyway. Still not convinced he's "Pedro."
• Ok, I no longer care whether Cappie and Casey are together, apart, or whatever. What I adamantly care about is that Cappie NEEDS to get a HAIRCUT. Even if it's just a little trim. His hair looks bad. Bad, bad, bad.
• Casey: "Cappie and I got drunk, and, uh, studied."
• Cappie declared philosophy as his major! Oh, Cap, of all the majors to declare... Luckily he knows a really rich guy who offered to help him out in the post-college world.
• Cappie's taking a 10 a.m. class! And not even a Tuesday/Thursday class! It's a Monday/Wednesday/Friday class.
• Called it! Rusty is "Pedro." You cannot fool me, Greek! (cue evil laugh)
• Rusty: "Because you're a human magnet and people are drawn to you." (Aww, drunk Rusty is so sweet!)
• That was a pretty hot kiss there between Rusty and Ashleigh. The pieces for the Rusty/Ashleigh coupling are falling into place... Now all we need is for Rusty to remember it.
  

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Weekend At Cappie's

Greek:

"Homecoming and Going"

So how does Greek follow up last week's Best Episode Ever candidate, the Beaver/Walter-centric "All About Beav"?

Unfortunately by shoving Walter way back into the background again. And Katherine was MIA altogether. Boooooooo!

But the consolation was that this episode featured Jonathan Silverman as Pledge Spidey's super rich dad. To me, Jonathan Silverman showing up as Spidey's dad is almost as exciting as Dwayne Wayne appearing as Ashleigh's dad due to my unnatural love of Weekend At Bernie's. (And Weekend At Bernie's II.) We're talking one of my favorite movies ever here. It's like Greek is intentionally casting its parents (and teachers) by harvesting my favorite shows and movies of all time. Next thing you know, Paul Gross from Due South is going to show up at the father of Heath and Heather or something.

Highlights and my observations:

• Uh oh, the KTs didn't hold their big Homecoming party last year, so A&M kicked CRU out of collegepartymonster.org's top 10 party schools.
• "And 'dot org's never lie!"
• Cappie: "Luges? Lugi? Lugee?"
• JONATHAN SILVERMAN!!! Pledge Spidey's dad is Jonathan Silverman?! Awesome!
• Ash: "Who knew finding a job would take so long? It always happens so fast in movie montages."
• Cappie: "It's like finding out that Santa left the North Pole to sit in a cubicle and listen to NPR."
• Why has Ashleigh started snoring in the past 4 months? Does she have a deviated septum?
• Evan not wanting to wade into the battle of "Heather" vs. "Heeeeeather" and saying, "Well, don't stay too long, whatever your name is..."
• Health thinking the party theme was based on Everwood. Honestly, knowing the amount of television watched in the Kappa Tau house, I'd be less surprised by the KTs having a party based on Everwood than Mt. Everest.
• Calvin: "He's a good dancer..."
• Wow, Casey just invited Ash to live with Rusty without asking Rusty (and Dale) first? That's presumptuous.
• WALTER! Walter, I miss you already.
• Awww, Beav getting choked up talking about loosing his "little brother" Scooby. (And then wailing "Scooooooooobbbeeeeee!!!!")
• WHERE IS KATHERINE?!
• Oh no! Dale's big brother is Tripp. Scraping the bottom of the barrel there...
• Dale: "Yeah, I never thought I'd be friends with a red-top either, but he's the prez. Only the best for me!"
• Well, if Rusty is Peter's "big brother" and Cappie is Rusty's "big brother," then Cappie would be Peter's "grand big" so shouldn't that be just about as good?
• Yeah, Calvin! Call Rebecca out on her crap!
• Stop dragging the Calvin/Heath relationship through the mud, Rebecca! Heath is sooooooooo much better than Grant (and deputy Leo).
• Good, Peter, go apply sunscreen. That's responsible.
• Cappie: "Why not just buy him some porn and a lap dance and call it a day?"
  Rusty: "Peter has brittle bones, and an aggressive lap dance could paralyze him for life."
• Ok, it's funny that Heath is dumb in this episode, but he wasn't always this dumb. He was supposedly going to medical school at one point, if you'll recall.
• The whole scene where Calvin found out about Heath's secrets from last week was hilarious, so here it all is:
• Calvin: "You know how sometimes people have another side to themselves that they keep secret?"

  Heath: "Yeah, yeah, like superheroes or...um...uh..."

  Calvin: "Yeah! So, uh, they never really reveal the truth about themselves because they kind of like how people view them in a certain way."

  Heath: "Beaver told you about me stipping at the Rio Nightclub, didn't he?!"

  Calvin: "Stipping? As in strippers? You? For money?!"

  Health: "You didn't know? What were you talking about? Oh God, did Casey tell you about the test paper selling thing?"

  Calvin: "What?!"

  Heath: "What the hell do you want to talk to me about?!"

  Calvin: "Stop talking! I was going to tell you that I don't have a major!"

  Heath: "Really? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

  Calvin: "Does it really matter now?"
• Also beyond hysterical was the pre-goat stealing conversation between Rusty, Dale and Peter.
• Rusty: "I don't think the Bible would approve of you stealing thy neighbor's goat."

  Dale: "The Bible doesn't say zip about kidnapping they neighbor's goat to psych thy neighbor out before the big game."
• Rusty: "You and your 'pledge bros' won't be making any history tonight, bro."

  Dale: "Uh, says who? You and Tiny Tim here?"

  Peter: "Hey! I once ran an 8.5-minute mile. In jeans!"

  Dale: "So did my alcoholic Aunt Trudy, and she didn't remember it."
• Uhh, is Mike Burton (a.k.a. Casey's law professor) hitting on Ashleigh? That's a little creepy. Maybe he's just being nice.
• Ash: "I might as well have gone to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
• Oh, Ash, I feel your pain, sweetie. I've been there.
• These luges/lugi/lugee are pretty cool.
• Spidey's dad works on a "campus" with games and massages and other awesome stuff. That sounds nice.
• Beccs isn't going to make it down the luge in that dress.
• Rebecca: "I'm sorry, Cal. I can't help but feel partly responsible."

  Calvin: "You're entirely responsible."
• Casey: "Life was so much easier when all your decisions were made for you." (Amen to that, sister.)
• Wow, Casey is drinking a lot of vodka. It's behavior like this, Casey, that leads to us waking up next to 16-year-olds. And by "us," I mean "you."
• Come on, Rusty. It's got to be easier to steal the goat from the Omega Chis than it is to get it from A&M.
• Heath: "And I'm me - the guy who likes Twilight and the Berenstain Bear books."
• Aww, Calvin told Heath he loves him. And Heath actually said he loves Cal back--not "thank you"! It's about time that exchange actually worked out for a TV couple.
• Spidey has an irrational fear of baby cows.
• Prof. Simon: "When I left college, back in 1990, I was in construction."

  Ash: "I was 2."

  Prof. Simon: "You were in construction, too?"

  Ash: "No, I was 2-years-old."
• Peter: "Cappie's cool, but you're cool and a nerd. You're like the..."
  Rusty: "The amalgam!"
• Ha ha ha! Beaver's slow dancing with the goat!!! Unlike last week, Beaver's barely in this episode, but he's still stealing the show!
• How does Cappie not recognize Peter's dad from "Weekend At Bernie's"? I guarantee you that Cappie has seen "Weekend At Bernie's" AND the sequel at least as many times as me.
• No, Evan, you didn't miss Rebecca!
• Oh, Casey. Casey, Casey, Casey... I hope Ashleigh yells at her for this.

(photos: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Leave It to Beaver

Greek:

"All About Beav"

I'm so excited, because tonight's episode of Greek took two of my absolute favorite peripheral characters and put them together! Beaver and Katherine! It's on! I'm so excited; this pairing is epic.

Of course, knowing Beaver and knowing Katherine, it seems highly unlikely that a relationship between the two of them would ever work long-term. But who cares?! This is Greek's final season and we don't have to worry about the long-term! Let's just get together all the couples we want together (Beaver/Katherine, Rusty/Ashleigh, me: Evan/Casey) and break up all the ones we want broken up (Rebecca/Evan, Rusty/Dana). The Greek end is near - we don't have to worry about the post-show consequences!

After the list of tonight's highlights - which are extensive, because this episode was pure bliss from start to finish - I'll pose the important question ignited by tonight's episode:

• It's Beaver!!! Beaver sleeps with a stuffed penguin! Beaver gets a wake-up call from his mom! This is going to be epic.
• Beaver: "Yes, Pengy's up too."
• Beaver: "Know how I'm philanthropy chair?"
  Cappie: "And 'philanthropy' means..."
  Beaver: "No, I remember this time."
• I LOVE that Beaver just walked out on Cappie mid-pointless rant.
• Beaver loves Katherine!!! Oh, dear Lord, please make it happen!
• Beaver: "Oh, pardon me, Bing. I was just moving your girlfriend's breast. I mean chest. I mean drawers..."
• Beaver's real name is...Walter Boudreaux!!!
• I've never heard Beaver say so many words in my life.
• OMFG - tonight, the Greek theme jingle had Beaver singing "Greek, Greek, Greek, Greek, Greeeeek!" over it. Holy crap, this is awesome.
• The janitor asking Beav if he watched Glee last night.
• Beav: "Can you believe they almost shut down the glee club? Again?! Close call! Again!"
• "Don't Mock the Killer Birds" was Beaver's first guess at the name of "To Kill A Mockingbird." Although he was incorrect about the title, that does sound like pretty solid life advice to me.
• Beaver (looking at Katherine): "I want some of that."
  Casey: "Me too."
• Beaver: "I have a paper due tomorrow, and I'm going to fail."

  Cappie: "What about the children?"

  Beaver: "I know! They're the future!"
• "Crabtree and Evan-ly"
• Cappie: "Now, go on. Get out of my sight!"

  Beaver: "I think that's where he is, Cap."
• Beav: "You build towers with your books too!"
• Casey: "Why am I seeing you more today than ever before?"
• Beaver's second attempt at the name of "To Kill A Mockingbird": "Tequila Drinking Bird"
• Every fifth page of Casey's law book has been ripped out and substituted with a piece of paper that says "Suck it."
• How cute is it that they're showing Fisher's T-Mobile commercial during Greek? Except all the Greek fans think he's a dirty, lying cheater, so I don't know if this is such a great idea.
• Beav: "Not that I condone cheating - or even know what condone means - but sometimes you just get desperate."
• Just dump her, Evan. It's time to move on.
• Ash: "Is there a hot science guy?"
  Rusty: "Carl Sagan? Those turtlenecks?"
• Lol at Casey hiding behind Beaver when they were talking to the creepy guy at the post office.
• Oh no! Rusty got pulled off his own project! That's a major bummer.
• Beaver really could have just read the book and written the paper by now. It would have been less work than all of this. Casey probably could have written a bunch of case briefs by now too.
• Beaver saved the barista's life once when she was choking!
• Casey: "I know what you mean, I've been trying to keep up with Rusty my whole life."
  Beaver: "I don't think Rusty's very good at football."
• Katherine: "Rio Nightclub. You know, I haven't heard of it but the name kind of conjures up these images in my mind of relaxing with a Caipirinha and some salsa music after a long but rewarding day of volunteering in the Brazilian slums."
• Now that Katherine brought it up, I think I'd enjoy a Caipirinha too...
• So Rebecca just wants Evan's attention, even if they're fighting. Brilliant plan, Rebecca. That's absolutely going to work out well for you.
• Katherine: "I think they're focusing on the Brazilian slum theme."
• Ha ha ha! Beaver didn't realize that the "Katherine" Casey was talking about is Katherine.
• Casey: "Have you been paying attention to anything I said all day?!"

  Beaver: "How should I know, I haven't been paying attention to anything you've said all day!"
• HEATH!!!! Heath is a stripper. Ahahahahahahahaha!
• I wonder if Calvin knows Heath is a stripper at Rio Nightclub.
• Beaver: "Are you Dave? Are you a policeman? I'm so confused right now!"
• I can't even listen to Heath and Beaver's conversation, because I'm laughing too hard.
• Beaver trying to take off his pants but not being able to, and Katherine screaming "You gotta take off your shoes first!!"
• Beaver grabbing some "hush money" from Heath's underwear!
• Oh my gosh. Tears are streaming down my face. It was nice of them to put this Rusty/Dana breakup scene after the strip club scene to give me a minute to gather myself and stop laughing (and crying).
• Geez, Cappie. Don't shove Evan just for telling the truth.
• Oh, yeah, Rebecca, Evan's the idiot in this situation...
• Evan and Beccs are on the rocks and now Rusty and Dana broke up! Everything's coming up awesome tonight!
• Beaver: "Your my favorite lady I've never had sex with, Casey."
• Beaver's almost finished with his 5-year teaching certificate program! He's going to be a kindergarten teacher!! All together now: "Awwwwww!!!!"
• Beaver: "Are you sure you're in law school? Because this is some pretty basic stuff."
• Casey really didn't realize that allllllllll of the Evan/Cappie war is because of her?
• Yea, Beaver! He's going to watch the movie and write the paper himself! I'm so proud.
• OMFG, KATHERINE IS IN BEAVER'S BED!!!!! Holy freaking crap, I'm about it lose it.
• Beaver doesn't waste time! He sees Katherine in the morning, decides he likes her, and the next day she wakes up in his bed. Beav is such a fox.

And now for the great debate: Was this one of the best episodes of Greek ever, or was this THE best episode of Greek ever? The only thing that's held it back was a lack of Dale and Calvin, but I honestly didn't really miss them tonight.

While the "best ever?" debate may continue on indefinitely, one thing that we know for sure after this episode is that if Greek must end, there should absolutely be a Beaver-centric spinoff. Beaver, the kindergarten teacher. Can you imagine anything more delightful?

(photos: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Why We're Here

Greek:
"Cross Examined Life"

Most of the time I was watching tonight's Greek, I was thinking that the episode was just okay. There was nothing wrong with it really, but it was a bit of a downer, what with Calvin's crisis of indecision about his major, Rusty and Dale's squabble, Casey encountering friction from her law school classmates, Ashleigh returning after crash-and-burning at her job, etc.

And then Katherine showed up, and all was forgiven. When Casey turned around and saw Katherine in the back of the classroom, it was the highlight of my day. I'm not even kidding. Greek, I love you.

For more freaking out re: Katherine, scroll to the end of the...

Highlights and observations:

• Rusty and Dana started re-watching Lost to count the questions that were never answered.
• A murder mystery dinner party is the first think Dana thinks of when she wants to cheer someone up? That's kind of a strange first thought.
• Rebecca's hair looks pretty fantastic for it being her "middle of the night" hair.
• Casey's going to law school and she doesn't know what habeas corpus is?
• Ash: "Casey?"
  Casey: "Burgler?"
• Oh dear, Ashleigh got fired. Her hair looks nice too though.
• Ash has the option of moving home and working at her dad's accounting firm. I've been there...
• Lol at sleeping Beaver attacking Pledge Spidey for trying to throw away his beer cup.
• Cappie: "That's what Heath said. Ha ha."
• Casey: "No tests? Is this what happens before noon? I freaking love morning time."
• Casey and Evan's law professor is Mike Burton from Ed! Cool!
• Evan should have known that burden of proof thing. Come on, Chambers.
• Poor Casey. Since when does law school involve sitting around and swapping gossip? Mr. and Mrs. Karns, or whatever, are a bunch of Chatty Cathies...
• Dale calling the Tri Pis the "Pi Pi Pis"
• Dana: "You look like a teen movie villain."
• Gosh, Rusty is looking cute this year. He's almost becoming Franco-esque. He can definitely do better than Dana now...
• Now Ashleigh has special drink testing coasters! Greek is still mining Season 3 of Veronica Mars for material!! How endearing.
• Cappie: "Come on. 'Why are we here?' She's ordering us to get high."
• Rusty: "They're going to brand their letters onto your ass?!"
• Study group girl: "How well do you two know each other?"
  Evan: "We used to date."
  Mr. Karns: "Oh, Evan, did you used to work in Undergraduate Admissions?"
  
• Casey getting smacked down by the law students is kind of amusing, but Evan is being way meaner than he needs to be. Go apologize. Ok, good boy.
  
• Casey: "Oh, great! Now I'm Rusty in high school."
  
• Ash: "I said, 'Good day, sir!'"
  
• Ash might be purposeless, but she looks gorgeous this episode. I hereby nominate Amber Stevens for the role of Mary Jane Watson in my dream version of Spider-Man staring Donald Glover. (That was one Twitter rumor that really should have been true.)
  
• Oh my gosh! The Omega Chis are branding people in the living room?! That seems like loads of trouble. Oh, thank goodness, they are just pretending to brand people. I was wondering why no one ever mentioned that Evan and Calvin have letters stamped on their butts.
  
• Lol, so the question is: are stoned Cappie and Calvin half as funny as stoned Casey and Evan? So far, no. High Calvin is funny, but Cappie is acting about the same as Cappie always acts. Plus stoned Casey and Evan were pretty much the funniest people ever.
  
• Ok, I did get a major laugh out of Calvin gesturing at Cappie when he said "me" and then pausing and trying again.
  
• Calvin: "Ohh, no. You've got chips on your butt! (laughs)"
  

• Rusty: "So you can let Trip scar you for life?" (referring to the butt branding)

  Dale: "And this won't?!" (referring to the murder mystery dinner party)

  
  

• Dana's friend is cute. Why isn't Rusty with her instead of Dana?

  
  

• Calvin doesn't have a major?! Oh dear. Time's a-wasting, fella.

  
  

• Ha, Dale knew who the "killer" was without even playing the game. Go Dale.
  
  
• LOL at Ashleigh entertaining herself with shadow puppets.
  
  
• Ashleigh has become a bad influence on Casey...
  
  
• Why didn't Rusty at least take off his Sherlock hat before going out in public?
  
  
• Oh, poor Ash. She got overlooked for a promotion in favor of someone from The City, so she was upset and left on her thousandth coffee run and never came back. And now she's fired for real.
  
  
• Ha ha ha! Beaver drew a unicorn on Rusty's face! Beaver is so adorable.
  
  
• KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  
• Katherine: "Can you not interrupt me when I'm waving to my friend? Thank you."
  
  
• OMG. IT. IS. KATHERINE. I'm freaking out.
  
  
• (And I promise to try to stop arguing that Casey, Katherine, and Evan should have gone somewhere else for grad school if for no other reason than to broaden their horizons a bit. I love Casey, Katherine, and Evan, and if this is what keeps them around, so be it.)
  
  
• I wonder why Katherine made a last-minute decision too. Did she miss CRU as well?
  
  
• Casey, Katherine, and Evan need to form a super (study) group!
  
  

And, holy crap, next week's episode is called "All About Beav"! First Katherine comes back and now we get a Beaver-centric episode?! GASP! Please tell me that these two seemingly unrelated occurrences are going to be connected. A Katherine and Beaver hookup!?! You're rocking my world, Greek!

(photos: abcfamily.com)