The Best Quotes of Greek: Dale

While Dale Kettlewell has now been incorporated into the Greek system at CRU, for most of the series he has often be on the fringe, judging the everyone else's exploits from the sidelines. A one-man Greek chorus, if you will. And what a hilarious chorus this sharp-tongued science genius and Lord's witness has been.

Oh, Dale, I'll miss you so.

The Best Quotes of Dale:

Dale: "Cover up your privates! Lord's witness coming through!"

Dale's USAG Ball: "It's going to be a sin-free evening filled with non-alcoholic drinks, line dancing, and subtle proselytizing."

Dale: "When I told my parents about your descent into the Greek sect, my mother cried, and my father said 'G.D.' for the first time in his life."

Dale: "Have fun perpetuating stereotypes of wasted, reckless youth, Rusty."

Dale: "Oh, well, I used my last bottle of chloroform when I was on Murder, She Wrote."

Dale: "G darn it. This campus has endless available locations for undeserving, perverted students that want to act inappropriately, but when a group of elite academics what to blow off some steam while debunking Aristotelian physics, suddenly everything's booked up? I call bull hinky!"

Dale: "Hey, how 'bout a little Bible Boggle, huh? Remember that time you spelled Leviticus and Harvy Brewbauer cried?"

Kirk: "Hey, Dale, your pajamas just blew out the window!"
Dale: "Huh. Must be the light weight cotton, you know 'cause my winter flannels never have that problem."

Rusty: "Now I have to prove to the actives why I'm a true Kappa Tau."
Dale: "Well, you could just show them a biopsy of your decayed liver."

Dale: "I have to fight off a surly mechanical engineer to get this spot. I told him to build a bridge...and get over it."

Dale's new roommate is deathly pale, has a weird, unplaceable accent and wrote a Dale thank you note for making his own bed.

Casey: "I just met a Canadian guy who was looking for a roommate. He was really nice."
Dale: "This Canuck is relentless!"

Dale: "Aren't you a little concerned about the verbiage? 'Liberal arts.' It seems like it would attract a certain element. Like socialists, tree-huggers, and general deviants."

Dale: "I DVR The View all week so I can watch them all back-to-back. I just love it when Hasselbeck serves them supper."

Max: "Rusty's concerned that you never leave the apartment. Are you avoiding something out there?"
Dale: "Yeah, vegans and Coldplay fans."

Dale: "Essays? Oh no, that leaves too much room for teacher interpretation, and frankly this guy's kind of a nutbag."

Dale: "Can anybody tell me why this class is worth three units? Every first-grader in Wetumpka knows that the pig is whipping that guy because of lustfulness."

Dale: "But it's not the end of the world! Don't you read the Scriptures I leave on your pillow? There's going to be signs!"

Lana: "I don't date guys with issues."
Dale: "Someone without a college degree shouldn't be so choosy."

Dale: "Really? Cappie didn't mention that in his Christmas newsletter. It did have a fantastic date nut bar recipe."

Dale: "Nice glasses, J.J. Have you figured out how Lost is going to end yet?"

Dale: "You'll get one of my deep-fried snacks when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands!"

Dale: "There's Casey! I could spot those blond locks in the middle of a Swedish flea market."

Dale: "Do you know the CRU Atheist Club has their own ski trip? They should get used to a warmer climate where they're headed."

Rusty: "I don't think the Bible would approve of you stealing thy neighbor's goat."
Dale: "The Bible doesn't say zip about kidnapping they neighbor's goat to psych thy neighbor out before the big game."

Dale: "Let's be honest, with that dimpled chin and those buttery blond highlights, it's pretty clear who is in the right here."

(photo: abcfamily.com)