Gossip Girl: Guerrilla (Fashion) Warfare

Gossip Girl: "There Might Be Blood"

Little J continues her downward (upward?) spiral, Chuck and Blair still have each other's backs, Serena continues her tradition of wearing extremely inappropriate clothing to college interviews, Rufus continues his tradition of being a terrible parent, Nate flip flops on whether it's too smarmy to date a 15-year-old with an unfortunately haircut, and Dan trades his moral code for a letter of recommendation.

Quotes and observations:

• Jenny's making a whole clothing line in, what, a week? Come on.
• Nate already forgot about hooking up with the TA at Yale? Geez, boy.
• Serena is wearing THAT to meet the prominent Yale donors? Not only is the neckline plunging, but it's extremely short too. Oh, at least she's put a jacket on to go outside...
• What is with Jenny's miniature hat?! And too much makeup! And extremely short dress! This is not her best look.
• Ick! The donors' daughter is a little hussy!
• A guerrilla fashion show?! Do those really exist?
• Is Agnes going to model all of the dresses? One at a time? That could take days.
• Blair: "I'm not losing Yale because of that little tart's libido!"
• It's kind of fun watching Blair look like she's in hell.
• Chuck: "Looks like you've just hooked yourself a Bass."
• Oh, Blair should know better than letting Emma run around the house when Chuck's lurking.
• Can Nate drive?! I've never seen any of these people drive.
• How does this artsy geek (Aaron) have so many girls? I must be missing something, because I don't get it at all.
• Chuck: "Let's not ruin it with you talking."
• I love Blair's dress (as usual).
• It's nice that Chuck still does whatever Blair wants when she snaps her fingers in his face.
• Blair: "EEW!" (Taking a page out of Summer Roberts' book there.)
• The look of relief on Blair's face when she got the money shot of the donor lady having an affair was hilarious. Luckily, B knows how to blackmail people like she knows the back of her hand.
• Why are Rufus/Dan/Vanessa acting like Jenny's about to hold up a bank?! She's having a fashion show. Why do they seem to think this is wildly illegal? Does everyone besides me know that guerrilla fashion shows are a Class A felony or something?
• Rufus: "You've got to be kidding me?! You're letting the Mr. Softy truck pass us!"
• Blair: "Thank you, God, so much! I won't let You down!"
• Wow, Dan called Nate out for kissing his "15-year-old sister."
  
• Nate: "Don't act like I'm some creepy older guy."
  Dan: "No, you're the guy who traded sex for money!"
• Blair and Chuck's reactions to seeing (naked) Serg.
• Jenny's dress is waaaaaaaay too short. I guess she ran out of time when she was making that one and had to stop when it was half finished.
• Jenny's ad campaign photos look very Marc Jacobs, and her dresses look like a cross between Kenley from Project Runway and Alexander McQueen.
• At least Agnes did find some other models to help with the fashion show.
• The people at this event are amused by these shenanigans? Or at least don't find this whole thing to be completely ridiculous? Vanessa and Lily were especially quick converts.
• Just let Vanessa and her yellow boots walk away, Jenny.
• So what did Chuck have to do to get Gossip Girl to post the fake story? I suppose it could involve money, but my early Chuck-is-Gossip-Girl theory is making a comeback.
• "Muffy the lacrosstitute"
• Emma: "Was your first time with someone you loved?"
  Blair: "Yes, it was."
• Lady donor to her daughter: "You're lecturing me? No wonder I don't to spend time with you!"
• Gossip Girl: "Poor Jenny. All that glamour almost led to the slammer."
• Eew. Serena's showing so much cleavage for just hanging out with Blair. Is that even a dress, or is it lingerie?
• Blair: "Princeton is a trade school."
• Ugh, Dan's trading in his moral code and selling out Chuck. Boooo.
• Rufus hadn't bothered to even check to see if Jenny was in her freaking room?! Worst. Dad. Ever.
• Where does Jenny think she's going?
• Next week: If some (reputable) publication wants an expose on Bass Industries, why would they hire a high schooler to write it? Especially a high schooler named Dan Humphrey.
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Fashion Disasters

Gossip Girl:

"The Serena Also Rises"

So much television to blog, so little time! Just bullets for this one:

• It's fashion week!! Woohoo! Bryant Park!
• Blair's not wearing a headband!
• Dan: "Another day of reading, writing, and aristocrats."
• Little J's antics are so going to get her kicked out of school.
• When Serena said "Poppy," I thought she was talking about her grandfather. LOL. It seemed weird that she's going to trendy events with him. (And I assumed he was dead since Dan was wearing his jacket to the White Party.)
• Hazel! I was just wondering where she had been hiding. She was conspicuously MIA in last week's ep.
• Blair (to Chuck): "The only person with fewer friends than you is Dan Humphrey."
• Oh, Chuck, you should have seen Blair's refusal to accept your help coming. An embattled Blair never wants your help. She just gets angry and then says nasty things to you and then you get angry and post her secrets on Gossip Girl...we've been here before, people.
• Finally, someone else thinks Dan's stories about his life are boring!
• Ha ha ha, Chuck is going to be Dan's muse ;-)
• Dan: "I know we don't like each other. You think I'm a boring, sheltered nobody."
  Chuck: "I don't think of you."
• Dan: "I need to experience new things."
  Chuck: "Are you gay?"
• Wow, how I love scenes with Chuck and Dan together! Their report (or lack there of) is the great, untapped resource of GG.
• Hysterical Blair is hilarious. I think Doroda is terrified.
• Oh, poor Jenny. She just pisses Blair off even when she's trying to help.
• Dan just flat out offered himself up on a platter to be terrorized by Chuck. That was just stupid. Chuck told him he was bored! And we know the kid doesn't have hobbies.
• Dan: "Oh, and beer before liquor! ...How do you know so many twins? ...Oh, my feet are hot. Are your feet hot?"
• Oh, Chuck. Taking Dan's shoes and dropping him off in the middle of some sketchy part of the city just wasn't nice. I know Dan is annoying, but that was just mean. Not as mean as last week's Nair-tini, but it's getting pretty close.
• Gossip Girl's quoting Project Runway.
• Writer Guy: "Charley Trout, now that guy's interesting." The best fake name Dan could come up with for Chuck Bass was Charley Trout?!?! The boy needs to give up on writing ASAP--he's got absolutely no imagination!
• Ok, does everything Dan writes about literally have to happen to him exactly as it appears in the story? Can he not just use his imagination? Maybe try to make something up? He is a fiction writer for crying out loud.
• Hey, Jenny's finally wearing the dress that was on her dress-form a couple of episodes ago.
• Didn't this husband-buys-the-artsy-naked-photo-of-his-wife story line just happen on Lipstick Jungle? And, how embarrassed am I that I know that?
• Wow, Bart is such a tool to Chuck. No wonder Chuck gets poor kids drunk, takes their shoes, and strands them in the middle of the city.
• Holy crap, Dan punched the guy before he could even get to Chuck! (And Chuck looked a little turned on by it!)
• So all these famous people and socialites are skipping out on Marc Jacobs? I'm not buying it.
• AHHH! Dan and Chuck are in jail!
• Chuck opens up and tells Dan the truth about his mother, and Chuck-lovers all around the world go "Awwwwww" in unison. Turns out that Bart hates Chuck because his mother died while giving birth to him. Ahh, so much makes sense now. What a sad story.
• Ok, but the clothes aren't going to fit the socialites if they were fitted to the models. Even if they're all wear a size 0, the garments aren't going to fit correctly on a different body.
• The schemes just don't end with Blair. Geez. First the seats are switched, then the models are sent home, and now she puts S in the wrong dress! And I'm not at all convinced that Serena could fit into Jenny's dress. Jenny's pretty skinny.
• Serena's hamming it up quite a bit on the catwalk. Actual fashion shows are much less spunky.
• How did Jenny get her hair into that elaborate updo?
• When did Lilly have time to sleep with a college professor or even go to college at all? From the way I figure it, she had to have been on tour with Rufus at a pretty young age and then have immediately gotten married and had Serena.
• This background check stuff with Bart and Lilly is just screaming Caleb Nichol and Julie Cooper to me.
• This is the longest fashion show ever. Serena was out there standing at the end of the runway for about 10 minutes.
• Well, at least Dan still has some integrity. It was nice that he stood up to the creepy writer guy and kept Chuck's secret a secret.
• Wow, Serena really tries to be nice to people right until they try to apologize to her, and then she turns downright nasty. She's nice as pie for the first 50 minutes of the episode, but in the last 10 minutes, watch out! She did the same thing to Blair this week that she did to Dan last week.
• Serena: "I'm just tired of trying to hold myself back so that I don't outshine you." (Even though she was just being flat-out nasty by this point, S does have a point. She has gone out of her way at times in the past to stay out of Blair's spotlight.)
• Oh, Jenny, what are you doing? No one is going to hire a 16-year-old fashion designer who hasn't graduated from high school and has no formal design training!
• Gossip Girl: "Don't worry, B. The brightest stars burn out fastest. At least that's what I've heard. Waiting for a star to fall..." (Me too. Serena's getting way too big for her britches.)
• OH No!!! WHY ISN'T THERE A NEW EPISODE ON NEXT WEEK?!?! BOOO!

Even though Serena's the star these days, my allegiances still lie with Blair, so Headband Monday continues! Today's was black fabric with a twist from Forever 21:

(Gossip Girl photo: cwtv.com)