SYTYCD: The Top 11 Get The Competition Started

So You Think You Can Dance:
Top 11 Performance Show

All right, it's officially on, boys and girls! I'm excited to see how this whole all-star thing is going to work out.

• What was up with the camera work during the intros? We're barely got a decent look at some of the dancers.
• Lol at sweet little Kent already trying to play the open-shirt card.
• The show is live tonight? Not pre-tapped? That's new. I wonder how that's going to work out.
• Cat seems especially cheeky tonight. She's wearing an interesting one-shoulder blue frock with gold detailing. And has a major updo.

Billy with Lauren (Tyce Diorio jazz):

• The featurette: Billy is really into do-it-yourself projects (including carpentry). Didn't see that coming.
• The dance: I don't even really have anything to say other than that Billy is wicked good. Like Jakob-level good, and Billy didn't have to drag a less skilled partner through the routine like Jakob often had to.
• The judging: Nigel liked it. Mia is so proud of Billy because she thought he did an awesome job at a different style of dancing than he's used to. Mia would like him to dance "like a man" (not a boy) for the rest of the competition, however. Adam thinks Billy's challenges will be to work to inhabit the character of his dance and focus on the stuff that's in between the choreo.

Uh oh, they changed the phone numbers this season. Now it's 1-888-6-BEST-##

Christina with Mark (Sonya Tayeh jazz):

• The featurette: Christina tried out for a Mexican singing competition show. Sonya has been inspired by snakes lately.
• The dance: There are some interesting lifts here. Christina is definitely benefiting here from Mark's total embodiment of everything Sonya is all about. Mark gives a hot/hilarious finger-gun-point on his way out.
• The judging: Nigel says that was all about the reunification of Sonya and Mark, but that he thought Christina did a good job of keeping up. Mia calls Mark a "genius of twisted" dancing, and says that she was surprised and proud by Christina's technique. Adam thought it was going to be a disaster, but ecstatically admits that he was wrong.

Jose with Comfort (Napoleon and Tabitha hip hop):

• The featurette: Jose practices yoga to help him stay flexible and to clear his head. Jose gets to do hip hop in the first week? That's kind. Ugh, NappyTabs is so corny.
• The dance: It is actually nice to see Comfort again; she had some major problems with other styles of dance back in Season 4, but she is quite a good hip hopper. They did a good job. For someone "who has never done choreography before," Jose sure seems awfully good at picking it up. He also mastered the mean face.
• The judging: Nigel thought Jose was absolutely outstanding. Then the judges divulge into making a series of really weak puns. At least when this was pre-taped, some of the judge's aimless babbling could be edited out. Mia wants Jose to make sure he keeps his character and fierceness through the choreo (as well as during the breaking). Mia and Adam are amazed how much he's improved since just last week. Between this kid and Kent, this season is almost overloaded with cuteness.

Adechike with Kathryn (Travis Wall contemporary):

• The featurette: Here's Adechike, or as I like to call him, "the one who will be voted out tonight." Adechike went to "the Fame school." Tyce also went there and apparently didn't do very well. Apparently this whole routine hinges on Adechike being able to take Kathryn's shoe off at the right time.
• The dance: This is very sexy, but I think that's mostly Kathryn. It certainly seems like she's being better showcased by the routine, but maybe that's just because she's awesome.
• The judging: Nigel thought Kathryn was giving Adechike everything, but Nigel didn't quite believe Adechike as the character he was supposed to be playing. Mia says she's going to be harsh because she didn't see any sexual chemistry, and Kathryn was giving him a lot to work with. Adam says Adechike needs find that extra something as a partner.

Melinda with Pasha (Melanie and Tony jive):

• The featurette: Oh, Melinda, I already knew you were an actress and musician. I think you've told us that multiple times now. I did not know that she was actually on a soap opera though. PASHA!!! PASHAAA!!! Ok, Melinda's on my good side now because she just admitted that Pasha is "so hot."
• The dance: PASHAAA!! Ok, I need to calm down. Melinda has a thankless job here, trying to jive when she's not a ballroomer and in complete danger of being entirely overshadowed by Pasha. The routine ended up feeling a bit redundant there toward the end, but that's not really their fault. I thought she did a decent job, all things considered.
• The judging: Nigel thought she did a decent job with the retractions but he didn't think the style suited her and thinks she'll probably be dancing for her life tomorrow. Mia thinks there's something unattractive going on with Melinda's legs when she dances and she can't quite figure it out. Cat and Adam think that Melinda will see that she looked over-the-top when she watches the tape back. But, according to Adam, honey, they love her. Cat: "Well, that must have been a tough job: learning the jive with Pasha."

Alex with Allison (Sonya Tayeh contemporary):

• The featurette: Alex also loves to sing and play the piano. And he actually sounds good. Holy crap, Allison and Alex doing Sonya choreo? Talk about stacking the deck. I might die.
• The dance: Their dancing to JEFF BUCKLEY'S "HALLELUJAH" no less! Holy heck! What are they trying to do to us!? Not sure about the costumes, but everything else is perfect. Allison is so amazing. Perhaps the routine included just a little bit too much convulsing, but otherwise it was perfection.
• The judging: Cat: "First chills of the season." Nigel believes that they have just set a new standard for SYTYCD. This routine here makes the argument for using the all-star format. Nigel says Alison and Alex were "absolutely mega light years" ahead of everyone else. Mia says that was hands-down the best danced piece of work on SYTYCD to date. I'm not sure I'd go that far. Mia says that Sonya has outdone herself. Mia really just wants to talk about how brilliant Alison is though (for good reason). Adam thinks the two dancers upped Sonya's game.

Alexie with Twitch (Napoleon and Tabitha lyrical hip hop):

• The featurette: Well, have fun following that, Alexie! Alexie was on Star Search as a child and was judged by a studly and serious younger Adam Shankman!
• The dance: Oh, Twitch, you're adorable too. Uh, this is fine, but the choreo is not really up to the level it should be. I mean, I can walk saucily to a window. I would expect a SYTYCD to be a little meatier than that.
• The judging: Nigel is not sure she hit the resistances in every case. Mia thought she danced like a young adorable girl and needed to step it up and get some more swag if she's going to dance with Twitch. Mia thought it was just *cute*. Adam just wants to talk about himself in the '90s. Adam says Alexie needed some more power in her hip hop dancing.

Lauren and Ade (Mandy Moore pop jazz):

• The featurette: Lauren likes to hang out with kindergartners. Uh, ok. Please tell me Ade has gotten rid of that hair pick. I like his quasi-mohawk thing.
• The dance: Maybe Mandy Moore needs to move on from the '80s. I feel like this routine does more to showcase Ade than any of his routines did when he was actually competing. The routine involves a lot of the two of them getting tangled up and rolling around on the floor. Which is ok, I guess. They danced it well.
• The judging: Nigel thought the routine was a little sterile and didn't see much connection between her and Ade. He thinks she'll be safe this week, but she needs to improve her performance. Mia also saw a lot of space that wasn't filled in with the performance. Adam thinks she was more focused on playing to the audience than she was focused on playing the character and connecting with Ade. Seems to me like the judges are trying to manufacture some drama here.

Kent with Anya (Tony and Melanie cha cha)

• The featurette: Kent was crowned Homecoming King at his high school (over 14 other boys). OMG, just the thought of Kent with Anya makes me laugh.
• The dance: Go Kent! To my un-trained eye, he looks like he's doing a pretty solid job with the cha cha. He's still a little comical, but he's also getting close to being sexy. And Anya is, of course, fantastic. Ha, at the end of the dance Kent and Anya share a big victory hug. $
• The judging: Kent says he know his lips looked silly, but you "just gotta have" the ballroom lips! Nigel points out that Kent really enjoyed dancing the routine. And then Nigel called Anya a cougar. That's unnecessary. Except for one goofy move, Nigel loved every second of the dance. Mia says Kent committed to everything and actually looked a little bit like a ballroom. Mia says to never do that goofy move again--and now I want to see a replay of it. Adam compares him to Dominic and Gev in regard to his verve in attacking an unfamiliar style. Adam says that dance reminded him of every parent's nightmare of losing their kid at the zoo and finding him in the lion's cage dancing with the lion. Ha. Oh just give Kent the title now--he's too darn cute! I can't even stand it.

Ashley with Neil (Tyce Diorio contemporary):

• The featurette: Ashley does "silly voices." I'm not impressed. This routine is all about love. Neil sounded like he had a bit of a Southern accent there; did he always have that? I can't remember.
• The dance: Ooh, nice dive-catch-lift thing. Um, she's doing okay, but during the side-by-side part, it seemed to me like Neil was definitely out-dancing her. Not sure I got what that had to do with love either, but whatever. I think their biggest problem was that they've followed a really great contemporary routine tonight and their routine/performance didn't quite match up.
• The judging: Nigel's blabbing about Ashley being young and then asks if she's every been in love and she says, "As a matter of fact, I think I am." And so now I'm wondering who she's in love with. Thoroughly awkward. Mia saw some emotion there, but it wasn't coming across quite as much as she'd like. She then calls Ashley "a very special little bunny." Adam thought she was creating incredible pictures, but he wasn't connecting with her emotionally.

So the theme of the night is: You're all splendid dancers, but you're just not performing enough!

Robert with Courtney (Sean Cheesman African jazz):

• The featurette: Robert wanted to be a professional baseball player. I love Courtney; she reminds me of Summer Roberts. Poor Courtney looks like she had a rough practice. I am having a hard time warming up to Robert though because he looks like a cross between Jess from Gilmore Girls and Evan Lysacek, neither of whom I am particularly fond.
• The dance: This is pretty great. I think it would be pretty easy to get danced off the floor by Courtney in this one, but Robert's doing a good job. I enjoyed it.
• The judging: Nigel loved the routine's rhythms and breadth of movement and he loved the way Robert danced it. Nigel says "no one really knows" Robert yet; and, uh, whose fault is that? Mia says there are many things she likes about him and wants him to dig into more about Robert...or something. Adam seems confused about what he's trying to say. He liked the coupling of Courtney and Robert. And then he says that he thinks Robert is one of the best male contemporary dances ever on SYTYCD! What?! One last attempt at extreme hyperbole before we call it quits for the night?

In their style (or close to being in their style): Jose, Adechike, Alex, Lauren, Ashley
Moderately out of their style: Billy, Robert
Really out of their style: Christina, Melinda, Alexie, Kent

My favorite routines:

• Alex and Allison's contemporary
• Kent and Anya's cha cha
• Richard and Courtney's African jazz
• Billy and Lauren's Broadway

Probably in trouble: Melinda, Adechike, Alexie

Greek: A Cyprus-Rhodes Thanksgiving

Greek:

"The Wish-Pretzel"

It's Thanks- giving on Greek! There is a long and storied history of great Thanksgiving-themed television episodes. My favorites include The O.C.'s epic "The Homecoming" episode, Gossip Girl's solid season 1 Thanksgiving episode, the episode of The Cosby Show where Cliff had to keep going out in the rain for groceries, the fantastic Thanksgiving episode of Now and Again, the episode of Gilmore Girls where Lorelai and Rory ate four (three?) Thanksgiving dinners, and the list goes on.

While it's a little odd to see a Thanksgiving episode a month or so early, I really enjoyed Greek's Thanksgiving effort. Beaver, Wade and Heath were hilarious. Evan was gorgeous. Dale caused some trouble...what's not to love? Oh, that's right, the ending. Sorry, folks, but I've been unequivocally on Team Evan ever since he stopped hitting other people's sweet little brothers with paddles. I fell off the Cappie/Casey bandwagon a couple of mini-seasons ago when I grew tired of their longing stares. I still like them both though, so I figured I'd be okay with their pairing, but when they kissed at the end of the episode, I realized I wasn't. It will be okay though; I'll get over it. (As long as Greek doesn't force the Evan/Rebecca pairing. I will seriously barf.)

The highlights and my other observations:

• Rebecca: "You could pay me to stay longer, but I don't have an electric bill."
• So Casey's going home and Rusty's not? Ha ha ha! Their parents went to Maui and Casey didn't know about it because she doesn't listen to her mom's or Rusty's voicemail messages.
• Hey, if Casey wants to sleep with someone, she could just sleep with Dale. Just throwing that out there... (Actually, now that Dale's back to his Christian ways, I guess he's abstaining again.)
• Geez, Evan's so cute. And that shirt is really working for him.
• Evan: "I'll drive! Get it?"
  Cappie: "Well, that'd be funny if you still had your car."
  Evan: "Yeah. You should drive."
  Cappie: "Yeah, I will."
• Evan's not doing so well with his attempts at golf puns lately.
• Rebecca: "You really do think that your life is a romantic comedy, don't you?"
• Wow, the KT house is the place to be! Wade, Beaver and Heath are all still there!
• Yes, it's okay for you to try for the grant, Rusty.
• If Rebecca has a rain machine, how can she even hear the creepy house noises?
• That's nice of Casey to volunteer by delivering Thanksgiving meals to the elderly.
• Ha ha at the KTs totally misinterpreting the clue about the pool table.
• Cappie: "'...I'm hiding under the trash can in the smelliest room of the house.'"

  Heath: "The bathroom!"

  Wade: "The kitchen!"

  Beaver: "Could be anywhere."
• There are an awful lot of people in the lab on Thanksgiving! I know they're science geeks, but this is ridiculous! There are like 30 people in that room. It's Thanksgiving!
• How did Cappie not know that Heath is graduating? I've know that for months.
• Beaver: "You didn't know, Cap? I thought you knew everything. I'm so disillusioned right now."
• Heath: "And if anyone's secretly gay and wants to declare their love for me, that would be the time."
• Cappie had Evan's phone number filed under "LAME-bers" in his cell phone. Ha!
• I knew that Cappie bailing on Evan would send Evan right to Casey! YEA!
• Yeah, I really don't think that Rusty would want Evan showing up to his Thanksgiving dinner.
• Beaver, Cappie and Wade's reactions to Heath's suggestion to steal all of the Omega Chi's underwear were hilarious.
• Beaver: "You don't want to prank the Omega Chis. It's like Bizarro Cappie!"
• Beaver: "You used to live for risk! And Shoots and Ladders!"
• Ha ha ha ha!!! That guy put on Ashleigh's hideous cloud cardigan!!!!
• Casey: "Well, looks like all he took was that one shirt. What an odd choice!"
• Noooooooooooo, Casey! Don't push Evan away! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! OH, I am so saddened by this turn of events! Wrong choice, Casey! Wrong choice...
• Rebecca: "I chased him for three blocks before I realized we're doing Ash a favor by letting him keep that shirt."
• Heath: "No Omega Chi is stepping foot in this house without getting pounded! ...by my fist! ...in the face! I don't know..."
• Aww! The KT's Thanksgiving meal is like the one in Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving! How adorable is that!
• Aww, poor Evan.
• Aren't there lights in this lab? Dale and Rusty are working in the dark! Rusty better get that bulb to light up, or they're not going to be able to find their way out of the room!
• The fractured state of Rusty/Dale hurts my heart.

Sometimes I am so in tune with the powers that be at Greek that I think they read my blog--like when they randomly bring back and ruthlessly mock Ashleigh's heinous cloud/rainbow sweater that I've made fun of on numerous occasions (such as here and here). But then they go and put Casey back with Cappie, and it's clear that they're not listening to me at all :-P

Uh oh, the preview for next week makes it look like they kill somebody or something. I hope it's not Fisher! Or Beaver! Or Dale! Or Heath! (Oh no, it totally could be Heath since he's graduating and presumably leaving the show anyway!)

I'm bummed that next episode is the finale of this mini-season. I'm going to miss my favorite college kids.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Society Boys

Greek:

"Divine Secrets & the ZBZ Sisterhood"

This was a solid episode. I could have lived without Rebecca's I'm-a-lesbian-no-wait-I'm-not storyline (actually, I could live without pretty much all of Rebecca's storylines), but other than that, there was a lot of quality stuff in this episode. Standouts included Cappie's quip when Rusty said that he was holding something interesting behind his back, Dale's extreme reluctance to even pretend to be stupid, Evan and Cappie sliding a little further down the road to reconciliation, and Evan finally getting back to wearing ties everyday!

Highlights and my observations:

• Heath choking on his drink when Cappie called Rusty a "douche-mover."
• I kind of adore Heath. I don't remember him being this funny back when he was hooking up with Cal.
• Cappie and Dale are phone buddies ;-)
• Dale: "He did tell me to keep you away from Sheila though. As if you'd have a shot!"
• Ahh, a collegiate secret society. How very Gilmore Girls/Veronica Mars...
• Sadly, like Rebecca, I don't think I know Calvin's last name either.
• Dale: "Alright, Sheila, I gotta go. Sounds like Rusty's right on the verge of another of his dangerous obsessions."
• Dale: "I know what they're all about: pagan rituals and controlling the government. They're insidious. They're like the ACLU."
• Cappie: "Run, gazelle! Run!"
• Cappie calls Dale "Daley."
• Rusty: "Cappie, I have something behind my back that's going to make you very happy."
  Cappie: "Sounds like Heath's department."
• Cappie: "I watched my youth slip away looking for them."
• Rusty: "We need your amazing instincts and street smarts."
  Dale: "No, we don't. We're geniuses. ...But please help us. I'm practically useless. I've got no sense of direction. I get lost in the apartment."
  Rusty: "Yes, that's true. It's almost like a learning disability."
  Dale: "OK! Let's--"
• Rebecca: "When you ask for advice, is it really just an excuse to hear yourself talk?"
• Rebecca: "I'm sure Osama bin Laden cried when his cat died, but that doesn't mean you should get in a cave with him!"
• Rusty: "...he also notes that she has an excellent butt."
• Dale: "Yeah, how exactly does one move douche?"
• Lol, Dale brought holy water.
• Cappie (mid-workout): "Just try to get me now, Mr. Cheetah!"
• How does Robin have such long hair if she shaved her head in high school? That was only like, what 7 or 8 years ago?
• Amphora's going to rue the day they picked Cappie. He is incapable of being respectfully quiet during a ceremony.
• How exactly has Cappie distinguished himself? His quick wit and plethora of smart-ass one-liners? His extensive knowledge of pop culture? His extensive jewelry collection?
• Evan! Amphora wants him too!
• Aww, poor Frannie. Now I'm feeling a little sorry for her too. She just looked so sad.
• Is Ashleigh somewhere that doesn't get cellphone reception? Just call her, Casey.
• This new dude of Calvin's sure has a fixation with lifting up his shirt and showing other guys his chest and abs. If he is straight, he should seriously rethink that behavior.
• Wow, no one has ever passed on joining Amphora before?
• Ha ha, this secret society is a little low-rent.
• Evan did the maps in Cappie's Amphora Society notebook. How sweet.
• Rusty: "Knock it off, Cap."

  Cappie: "Right here? In front of you?"
• Cappie: "Sorry, Dr. Phil, you lost me at the part where it kinda sounded like you made out with your own sister."
• Cappie: "I just think that the way you handled the Andy situation was kind of lame. And a bit Evan-escent."
• Calvin: "You know with metrosexuality and emo rockers wearing eyeliner and bromantic comedies, these modern times have gotten pretty confusing for us gays. I long for the days when a tight tank top told you everything you needed to know." (Seriously, how old was Calvin in those days? Like 5?)
• Cappie: "Uh, Plato never said that."

  Hooded guy: "Look! I didn't have time to write a speech!"
• Cappie: "Why did you go and do a thing like that?"
  Evan: "Temporary hood-provoked insanity."
• And then Cappie and Evan recited "We Used To Be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols:

  Cappie: "We used to be pretty good friends."

  Evan: "A long time ago."
• Evan's wearing a tie again! Yea! Is that a sign that he's officially out of his funk now?
• Cappie admits that he knew that Evan liked Casey first and he went after her anyway. It's nice to see somebody get off his high horse for once.
• Dale: "Let's go back to the apartment and you can cut my hair again."
• The dean runs the secret society? Doesn't that kind of defeat the whole point of a secret society?
• Another day and Evan's wearing another tie! And a vest! Wohoo!
• Aww, Evan and Cappie are secret friends now!

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Gossip Girl: Lily of the Valley & Prom Queen B

Gossip Girl:

"Valley Girls"

A couple days before the well-hyped Lily (Rhodes) van der Woodsen (Bass) flashback backdoor pilot aired, rumors swirled that The CW isn't planning on putting the Lily spin-off on its fall schedule after all, and will instead opt to pick up Beautiful Life (featuring The O.C.'s Mischa Barton), the Melrose Place update (because why come up with a new idea when you can remake an old one?) and Vampire Diaries (to capitalize on the Twilight hysteria) and to renew Privileged (which, ironically, is one the only shows I've ever watched that I've actually called on the network to cancel). After watching Lily's flashback take over this episode of Gossip Girl, I can say that--if the rumors are true--not picking up the Lily spin-off is one of the few programming decisions The CW has made that I agree with.

I once wondered if Josh Schwartz could ever create a show that I wouldn't like, and now we have our answer. The Lily '80s flashback was just painful. It lacked the wit and charisma that a Josh Schwartz show typically thrives on. The characters (even the ones we already knew) were underdeveloped and stereotypical. The dialogue was unnatural and sometimes just bizarre. The whole thing was boring. And Lily was possibly even more annoying as a teenager than she is now (and that is a major feat).

Oh, and you know the flashback was bad if I'm trashing it even though it included several cast members whom I already love or at least like: Ryan Hansen (my beloved Dick Casablancas from Veronica Mars), Krysten Ritter (a veteran of Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, who is currently so much better in Breaking Bad), Andrew McCarthy (who will always be Larry from Weekend at Bernie's to me), and Cynthia Watros from Lost.

But the worst part of the whole Lily flashback was that it stole precious screen time from the Gossip Girl characters that we love! (Except for Vanessa--Lily can have all of Vanessa's screentime as far as I'm concerned.) Even though the Gossip Girlers were just navigating the world of prom, which was certainly not earth-shattering by any means, I just wanted to watch them!

Highlights, lowlights and quotes:

• Blair: "Serena's been in jail for 4 hours! That's longer than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan combined!"
• Chuck: "Please, she's a socialite accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they're working her over with a phone book."
• Rufus still sucks. He tells Dan and Jenny that one of their best friends was just arrested at the behest of her mother, and when they ask for more information, he just yells at them to not get involved. That's helpful.
• Lily's parents had a tumultuous divorce? Then why did Cece still have her husband's suits in her house at the Hamptons? (Remember, Dan had to borrow Serena's grandpa's jacket to go to the White Party.)
• Lily's dad: "Punishing loved ones just comes much easier to some people."
• We've established that in Margaret Colin and John Shea, Blair has the coolest parents ever. Lily has some cool ones too: Larry from Weekend at Bernie's and Libby from Lost. Except Lily's parents are both acting like jerks. Not that I feel too badly for her; she was just as annoying in the '80s as she is now.
• It's only happened twice, but I'm already sick of transitioning in and out from the flashbacks. The stupid, reflective look on Lily's face as she reminisces makes me gag.
• Ha ha, Blair's looking at the scrapbook (that she supposedly hasn't looked at since she was a child).
• Blair: "Just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked at since I was an early adolescent!"
• Ha ha, is Chuck sabotaging Nate and Blair's dream prom? Because that's funny.
• Lily thinks Cece's toxic? Cece? Cece's probably the least toxic woman in this whole family.
• Limited editions of the Gossip Girl books are on sale that come with posters of the cast! Wow, I'm actually kind of excited about that; what am I, 12-years-old?
• Wow, young Lily, that was an overreaction (in the immortal words of Andy Bernard)! She didn't have to yell at the kid just for bumping into her.
• My sister: "This waiter dude is trying really hard to be Ryan Lafferty."
• Dan: "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man."
• Ahh! Scary! Poor Little J was just hanging out in her room when all of a sudden the garage door wall is thrown open by Dan, who is wearing only a t-shirt and purple boxers! Which is especially odd, because in the scene immediately proceeding that one, he was fully clothed while talking to Lily on the phone. So, he apparently stripped down to go talk to his little sister. Weirdo!
• Dan: "Hey, I think I need a dress for prom."
  Jenny: "Ok, but you're going to have to wear your own shoes."
• Good Lord, young Lily is annoying! "You're totally falling in love with me right now." SHUT UP! Trust me, no one is falling in love with you! Only Rufus is stupid enough to do that, and he doesn't come along for a couple more years.
• Oh, thank God, it's Ryan Hansen (who is rocking quite the hairdo)! He's about the only one who can save this horrendous flashback, but it's a tall order.
• Blair: "I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head, and tonight no effort required!"
• Blair: "We don't do prom queen. That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."
• Serena's white nail polish really held up in prison! It still looks flawless.
• Can we see a flashback into Eleanor's past now? Because I guarantee it would be a hell of a lot more interesting than this.
• Kind of cliche '80s music they're using here. It's not bad; it's just exactly what everyone would think of when they think '80s music: "I Melt With You," "The Safety Dance," etc.
• Blair: "Well, I just spent 10 seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
• Is that dress supposed to be Jenny's? Because that might explain why Serena's boobs are popping out of it, but I'm not really sure her boobs would have ever fit in Jenny's dress in the first place. That really is just supposed to be one of Jenny's dresses--Little J didn't just sew that one up in a half hour, right? Because not even Jenny can sew that fast.
• Wow, everyone else must have gotten tired of Lily's "remembering face" too, because now they're not using any kind of transitions from past to present at all.
• Hey, shocker, the young Mr. van der Woodsen is a jerk.
• The part where Owen throws Lily's "Your falling in love with me," line back at her would have been funny if the whole thing (namely the acting in this scene) wasn't so painful.
• Eew, Carol slept with Lily's future husband? Yuck.
• Can we please get back to Blair and Chuck's scintillating conversation about the prom queen?
• Nice punch, Ryan Hansen! He learned that move during the battles between Logan's rich kids and Weevil's motorcycle gang in Veronica Mars season 2.
• Blair: "This is my moment! I own prom!"
• Dan: "Who even voted for her?"

  Chuck: "Me. About 150 times."
• Oh. My. God. Chuck's "sabotage" turned out to be him ensuring that Blair's prom night was perfect and just like her scrapbook. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Chuck!!!
• Cece would rather have twenty Dan Humphreys from Brooklyn than that one stupid guy from the Valley? I mean, that dude was no prize, but Dan can be all kinds of annoying at times. I can only imagine how grating twenty Dans would be.
• Ugh, I can't even listen to Lily and Cece have this fight. It's too boring.
• Nate is awfully complacent. Blair wants him: he's ok with that. Blair doesn't want him: he's ok with that too apparently.
• Blair: "Your quasi half-brother slash ex-boyfriend was your date."
• Serena: "We went through it together. We raised each other. You're my sister."
• The "we raised each other" sentiment is sweet, but it's also extremely true and explains a lot about B and S.
• BTW, while she's "raising" Blair, couldn't Serena mention that Chuck told her he loves Blair and that he went to extremely lengths to give her a perfect prom night?
• Next week: Blair says to Chuck--for the hundredth time--"Tell me you love me," and, darn it, if he doesn't just say it this time, I'm going to eat my right hand! Lol. Maybe not. But I will be severely angered.
• I do wonder what is happening with Georgie and Poppy.
• Let's hope that this year's GG finale is a little less manic and whip-lash inducing than last season's finale. Pick your story lines wisely and let them breathe a little, GG.

(photo: cwtv.com; I am refusing to post a photo from the flashback out of principle.)

Gossip Girl: Yale Canto

Gossip Girl:
"You've Got Yale"

There was literally zero Chuck/Blair interaction, but this episode was still fantastic. There were a variety of factors that made this episode enjoyable, namely: Harold showed up(!), Serena and Blair both wore outfits composed of so much plaid it should be illegal, someone finally told Lily off for treating her children and the memory of her dead husband like crap, Blair fired off more zingers than it was possible to copy down, Vanessa got coughed on, the smarmy uncle was sent packing, and Chuck turned out to be a knight in shining armor.

Like I said, Blair was firing on all cylinders all episode long, so it's no surprise that she had the Quote of the Episode, but--in the style of the Beijing Olympic uneven bars event finals judges--I couldn't pick just one:

Blair: "I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory!"

and

Blair: "Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies and 14-year-old gymnasts!"

I love that Gossip Girl tossed in the 14-year-old gymnast reference. Not only did they have Nastia Liukin on the show, but now it's like they've got her back and are taking up her cause. Very cool.

Quotes, highlights and observations:

• Ha--Harold, Darota, and Roman all dressed up in Yale attire.
• They bought Blair her own Handsome Dan!
• Blair: "I don't know about the name though. We'll just call him Handsome."
• Blair: "He's as dead to me as his dad is to him."
• Look on the bright side, Serena and Dan; going away to Yale will give you the opportunity to get the hell away from your crazy-ass parents.
• Eric: "I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Remember that."
• If Chuck's still "the face" of the company, then why wouldn't he be sitting in Bart's seats at the opera?
• Since when is Serena's family in the hotel business? Oh, because Bart was in the hotel business? Do they still count Bart as part of their family?
• Does Yale really send out acceptances via e-mail now?
• Oh, poor B. Wait-listed? After all she did for that annoying chick?
• So, now, is Blair really so a better fit that Rory for Yale? I mean, at least Rory got in.
• Eew, why would Chuck want to move into Lily's house if he has to listen to her and Rufus having sex all the time? Yuck. (Actually, now that I think about it, Chuck might be the one person who would enjoy that...)
• So, only one person from Constance can go to Yale at a time? That seems like Yale is really limiting their talent pull. Why not take two awesome candidates just because they're from the same school?
• Blair: "Witch hunts are my Valium. I'm just trying to stay calm."
• Blair: "Now he'll just be lumped in with all the other Financial Aid-iates and poets."
• Eew, why would the board want Lily to have been left in control of the company? Do they know her? That sounds like a seriously bad idea.
• Even if he's all coked up, Jack at least knows that Lily would be a bad company leader.
• Blair didn't apply anywhere else?! Are you kidding me?! Fancy-butt school Constance doesn't make its students apply to more than one school?! Oy vey!
• Lily: "And you got him on Megan's List?"
  Chuck: "If only his apartment were a little closer to a playground."
• #26 on Chuck's list of how to take down Jack is "Crash Jack in plane." (How very Dirty Sexy Money.)
  
• Chuck calls Rufus Lily's "half-price hustler."
• Chuck: "You say you want to be family, but if you meant it, you wouldn't parade your mistress in public."
• Tell her, Charles!!! It's scary when Chuck Bass is so right about something!
• Blair: "Cancel the Nelly Yuki Project now!"
• Oh, come on, what were Nate and Vanessa really laughing so heartily about? I don't believe for a second that either one of them said something that funny.
• Eric talking about the opera (in German) is adorable. Eric is hysterical. He should only have funny lines and not have to try to sell sappy tales like "I just lost my step-father, I don't want to lose my brother too."
• Izzy and Penelope playing the angel and devil on Blair's shoulders was awesome.
• Serena's dress is gorgeous. (Of course I don't need to see that much of her boobs, but it is Serena, so I'm used to it.)
• Dan: "It went from Family Ties to Faulkner in one cocktail."
• Jack: "Who's your lucky escort? Someone you picked up at the funeral?"
• Rufus: "Ahh, kids, God love them. They do things like misread the opera calendar."
• Hey, I've seen an opera from as far back as Nate and Vanessa are sitting, and it's not that bad. Although the lady coughing all over them is not cool at all. But, I gotta say, I kind of love watching Vanessa get coughed on.
• Apparently the van der Woodsens need to get better soundproofing in their penthouse.
• Dan: "Oh, God, where are the boxes with the lids?"
• Harold: "Blair, turn off your phone. Remember the Kevin Kline incident?"
• Blair's dress is lovely too.
• Bye bye, smarmy uncle.
• It is so much colder in New York than any of these people are dressed for. I mean, look at what the actors have to wear between takes.
• Thank goodness Chuck knows how to take action! Rufus just stands around like a nincompoop. Chuck is such a knight in shining armor. (Swoon. I just love that kid.)
• Chuck's big busting-in-and-punching-out-the-bad-guy thing was rather reminiscent of a Logan Echolls or a Ryan Atwood.
  
• Sweet handshake between Rufus and Chuck.
• Wow, Blair is wearing sooooooooooo much plaid! Plaid blouse, plaid skirt, plaid coat. Holy heck. And I thought the outfit Serena was wearing earlier in the episode was plaid-crazy (which is the sole reason I picked the photo of her to put with this entry).
• Serena (about going to Brown): "Oh, and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit." (That does sound like it's right up Serena's alley.)
• Who took a pic of Serena and Dan making out at cotillion? That's kind of creepy.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Secret Kids and Smarmy Uncles

Gossip Girl: "Gone with the Will"

Remember on Gilmore Girls (the other great "GG") when Sookie wanted to know if her baby was a boy or a girl, but Jackson wanted it to be a surprise? He made a button that said, "I do not want to know the sex of my baby," and wore it around. Well, I feel like making and wearing a button that says, "I do not want to know what happened between Blair and Chuck's uncle on New Years Eve." Because I don't want to know. At all.

Especially since Jack Bass has quite the Georgina Sparks-esque trouble streak to him. However, I felt like Chuck rather willingly fell for Jack's fairly elementary scheme. I mean, come on. I think I could have come up with get-him-drunk-with-naked-girls-
and-then-bring-in-the-board-members. Chuck Bass should know better.

And Chuck Bass should also know to put up more of a fight when Blair finally gives up on him. I know she's saying she doesn't want to deal with you anymore, but, come on, Bass. She clearly loves you to have put up with this much. Say your sorry a few more times, explain the situation, don't let her give up on you now, at least don't get back into the darn elevator, do something! I think you could win her back fairly easily if you would just display the slightest of efforts.

Don't even get me started on this Rufus and Lily nonsense. Every second they were on my screen, I just wanted them to shut the hell up and go away. I mean, sure, yeah, let's spend day after day in Boston searching for the son we gave up years ago, while our four other children are left alone to fend for themselves in New York City! Ugh. Awful. Someone needs to call Child Protective Services on them.

Highlights and my observations:

• Was Chuck wearing Union Jack cuff links?
• Dude, how unclassy is it to hit on your nephew's girlfriend? (No matter what happened on New Year's.)
• Nate! He lives! And he's being supportive! What? Huh? (And here I thought that boy could only get screen time when he's shagging a duchess...)
• Geez, Lily can't even bother to attend the reading of her husband's will. She's just a real treat, that one.
• Chuck: "Curfew?"
  Jack: "None."
  Chuck: "Girl's sleeping over."
  Jack: "Yes, please."
  Chuck: "I'll allow it."
• Chuck: "If I don't read it, do I still get my inheritance? Then I'll pass."
• Chuck (speculating on what's in Bart's letter to him): "Why do you wear so much purple?"
• Well, I guess we now know that the smarminess doesn't fall far from the Bass tree:
  Chuck: "I owe you a lot. You saved my life when I didn't want to be saved."
  Jack: "You noticed that Thai waitress I was going to take home the other night had a penis, so consider us even."
• Wow, can Chuck finish high school and run Bass Industries at the same time? He's going to be a very, very busy boy. How will he find time for all of his carousing and shenanigans?
• Yeah, Rufus, do try to think of someone other than yourself.
• Blair: "Not that anyone else would want Dan Humphrey."
• Ok, this gummy anniversary is by far and away the best aspect of this Vanessa/Nate coupling yet.
• Vanessa: "I can't believe your telling me this now in a candy store!"
• It's the little Serena and Blair girls! Yea, they're fun.
• Little Blair girl: "Dating Nate Archibald after striking out with Dan Humphrey? Talk about failing upwards!"
• Jack: "The last time I had a friend like that, I ended up with gonorrhea."
• Um, send a little more of an explicit text, why don't you, V? Go ahead and spell it all out for the mean girls...
• Wow, Blair, that is not a dress you wear to a "friendly" dinner. In fact, that was downright Serena goes to Yale attire!
• Yeah, I wouldn't want Rufus and Lily contacting my kid either.
• Why was Jenny invited to this brunch? Oh, Eric.
• Dan: "Here's my question, and it's been bothering me for awhile: can you reserve eclairs?"
• Dan: "What now, people? It's not like I brought a tuna sandwich."
• Why exactly did the Stairs Girls feel the need spill this gossip? Too juicy not to tell? Don't they feel a little bad about hurting Serena? I think they're just causing trouble for the sake of causing trouble at this point.
• So, Jenny didn't know about the mystery kid either? I'd forgotten about that. I just assume Jenny knows everything Dan knows.
• Wow, Jack throws one little brunch, and he gets everything that he wants. Easy-peezy.
• Oh, suck it, Rufus. Just freaking go home and shut the hell up.
• Eew eew eew. This Lily/Rufus stuff has got to stop. It's seriously grossing me out.
• Bart put a morality clause into Chuck running the company and no one told Chuck about it until after he broke it and they ousted him? That sounds illegal.
• Serena: "Now I share a sibling with my boyfriend? That's a little more hillbilly than I can handle."
• Dan: "This whole thing actually made me nostalgic for the days when Jenny was the problem."
• Nice bromance moment between Dan and Nate.
• Aww, the poor secret kid is dead. That's a shame. Wait, I'm not buying this one bit: is the kid really dead? Or will he pop up eventually wanting money or something?
• Dan searching for literary precedent and suggesting Flannery O'Connor. That's probably a good guess. I remember her talking about Bible salesmen and girls with one leg and a guy who dressed up like a gorilla...I'm blanking on quasi-sibling lovers though.
• Called it! The Rufus/Lily spawn isn't dead.
• Really? Are none of these teenagers angry at their parents after this behavior? Come on! Teenagers get raving mad at their parents everyday for so much less than this! Somebody needs to pull out a tantrum, darn it!
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Privileged: Hidden Palms Reunion! (Seriously?)

Privileged: "About the Ripple Effect"

Raiding the cast of Hidden Palms, are we, Privileged? Does that seem like the best idea to anyone? Anyone? I'm all for employing Michael Cassidy, but I would have quit there. Now we've got Cliff's mom playing Megan's mom. And then there's the dude who was the AA sponsor guy on Hidden Palms hanging out in Lily's hair salon! Enough. If Johnny (Oliver from The O.C.) shows up, I'm turning this off.

Observations:

• Lily got married!? Holy heck.
• Sage: "Oh, you are an assortment of nuts."
• Rami: "I don't think he's that cute." (Me either.)
• Since it seems like all the existing magazines are folding or laying off workers, it's probably not the best time for Will's dad to be trying to start a new magazine (esp. one that sounds boring and like something Betty Suarez would come up with).
• Hey, look, it's Little Franco! (His name is Dave.) I can tell he's a Franco: he's a cutie and has an array of James-like mannerisms.
• Little Franco (about Titanic): "I loved that movie!"
  Sage: "You probably don't want to tell that to everyone."
• Is there a way that we could write Megan out of this show? Because she's driving me flippin nuts.
• Mandy and her no-crap attitude are kind of fun. She refuses to put up with anyone's B.S.
• Little Franco plays the French horn!
• Little Franco: "Hey, you know how when you play it, you stick your hand in the open end? Well, I used to hide Starburst in there..."
• Aww, Rose, forget about the cook guy; don't make Little Franco sad!
• Dude, Megan don't touch the restaurant's mints! Don't you remember the story Rory Gilmore told about the article she read about people touching the mints after they had gone to the bathroom but not washed their hands?! Urine mints, Megan! Eew!
• Charlie: "I'm not your problem, buddy! ...You do have a problem, and it's you."
• Yes, Charlie is so much better when he's not being whiny and pathetic.
• I gotta agree with Megan's mom's opinion about the philanthropist magazine being a snooze.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: A Yale Tale

Gossip Girl:
"New Haven Can Wait"

I'll admit that when I heard that the kids of Gossip Girl were heading to the campus of Yale, I fantasized about a crossover episode between GG 2.0 (Gossip Girl) and GG 1.0 (Gilmore Girls). It's too bad that Rory and her gang have all graduated. Think of the possibilities: Blair and Paris going at it; Chuck hanging out with Logan and his Life and Death brigade; Nate, Dan, and Marty sitting around and being boring (okay, that was a little harsh on Marty); etc.

Even if there was no GG/GG crossover, this episode was still pretty awesome:

• Ha ha ha, the Blair/Serena My Fair Lady dream sequence was hilarious. It must be fun to have Blair's dreams--they're all based on classic movies.
• Wow, if only everyone's hair looked that flat-ironed right when they wake up!
• Marc Jacobs named a handbag after Serena... Her?
• How did Dan get excellent SAT scores? He chokes on tests, and he was too busy worrying about Serena not showing up.
• Chuck: "We're hours away from horny women's studies majors who want to work off all their anger against men in their bunk beds."
• Chuck picks colleges based on the merits of their secret societies.
• Chuck: "Say hello to the characters on public transportation."
• Holy moly! Serena's shirt is very low cut! As in, it plunges lower than her boobs. That's what she's wearing to go on a college visit?!?!
• Ouch for Brown University! Blair just took that institution down a few pegs. If it was good enough for Summer Roberts, it should be good enough for Serena van der Woodsen. Although Blair's point about girls going to Brown and turning into vegans does mesh well with Summer's experiences.
• Blair: "Have fun in Providence. Maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there!"
• Rufus lets Jenny walk all over him yet again.
• Secretary: "Oh my, the dean hasn't laughed like that in years!"
• I knew Nate was going to use Dan's name instead of his own. It was a better choice than Chuck's, I'd say. But why does no one on TV ever just make up a name?
• Skull and Bones guy (to Chuck): "Rumor has it that you've slept with more Maxim covers than John Mayer."
• Aww, poor Blair. She has plenty of stories she could tell the dean! Like the one about her eating disorder or the one about her dad running away with a male model. Or the one about how she just dated a lord who turned out to be sleeping with his stepmom. There really are a myriad of options here.
• AHHH! Blair kissed the dean on the cheek! Oops, that was embarrassing.
• Wow, Serena really has taken a lot from Blair: Nate, Mrs. Waldorf, the girls at school.
• Chuck: "...and talking to Blair about how she's going to get into Yale gets her really--"
• Ha, Dan ruining Nate's charade in a very unsmooth matter was funny.
• Nate (to Dan): "Do you ever get tired of carrying that chip around on your shoulder? No wonder Serena dumped you!" (Go Nate!)
• Ha ha, Blair bribed the secretary with antique ceramic cats.
• Dude, Blair's right: according to her own wisdom, the parties that are most important to attend are the ones you're not invited to.
• Maybe if Rufus better explained to Jenny why it is so important for her to go to school, she'd accept his decision or at least understand it better.
• I'm beginning to think that Serena's whole strategy to get into college is showing as much of her boobs as possible.
• Blair (on how Serena would answer the "who would you go to dinner with?" question): "No, let me guess: Lauren Conrad." (I guess LC won't be making a cameo on this show.)
• Are they playing a string version of "Mr. Brightside" in the background?
• Who knew that Nate had so many enemies at Yale?
• Serena's finally right about something: Henry Cavill (of The Tudors) is a total babe.
• I didn't think for a second that Chuck was going to turn Nate over to Skull and Bones. It's an added bonus though that he did give them Dan.
• Oh, Blair, you're too much! Putting the name of the dude who overdosed on Serena's answer card! Wow.
• Nice shot, Blair! Conk her right in the head with that purse!
• Best part of the B/S fight was Blair squealing: "My headband!!!!!"
• That dress is way too skimpy for Lily. Although, I guess if her daughter dresses like a tramp, she might as well dress like one too. I have definitely seen more than enough boob from the van der Woodsen ladies tonight!
• Dan tied to the statue is delightfully reminiscent of the flagpole scenes in Veronica Mars. (But, seriously, that's the best Skull and Bones can do? They should watch more Veronica Mars; the secret society at Hearst was so much creepier. They electrocuted people for crying out loud.)
• Nate: "I hope you at least bought the statue a drink first." (Ha ha ha ha ha. One of the funnies things to have ever come out of Nate's mouth.)
• Dan: "I'm not entirely proud of my choice of boxers."
• Blair (to Serena): "Life's too short; you make it feel so long." (Amen. But Serena and Dan together make it feel even longer!)
• I don't think that B and S deciding to take a break from being "friends" is the world's worst idea.
• Oh great, now that Jenny is going to be homeschooled, I guess she'll be hanging around and doing nothing but meddling in other people's business like Vanessa always does...
• I love, love, love Blair's outfit (which is shown in the above picture). Especially the hat!
• And, look, Serena's showing more of her boobs...
• No, I don't think "the reality of being separated next year is just too scary to think about" is really why Serena and Blair had the fight. I think they had the fight because they really just hate each other.
• Chuck: "You may be the future leaders of America, but you're now under the control of Chuck Bass." (That Chuck--taking down Skull and Bones in one weekend...)
• Oh, Yale is just using Serena because she's famous now. Serves her right after she repeatedly shoved her "entitlements" in Dan's face.
• Poor Chuck. He should have guessed that Nate would have no sense of humor about any of this. He is still Nate, after all.
• Next week's preview: Blair wants Chuck to help her take down "that troll" Vanessa. Ok, don't get me wrong, I'm all for taking down Vanessa, but why does Blair suddenly care so much about it?

So, in the beginning of the episode, it seemed like almost everyone wanted to go to Yale. By the end, it appeared that those who wanted to (Blair) wouldn't be able to and those who would be able to (Chuck, Serena) didn't want to. I'm wondering if this is just all laying the groundwork for them all to go to Columbia together (or something similar), so that next season won't suck.

Headband Monday: I wore a fancy blue ribbon-decorated band in honor of the kids' trip to Yale. (Blue is one of Yale's colors, but I'll admit that was coincidental.)

(Gossip Girl photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Gelato Politics

Greek:

Pledge Allegiance

I know I should be over it by now, but I'm contin- ually surprised with how smart and funny this show can be. The "a-ha" moment in this episode was the scene between Max and Casey in the Zeta Beta kitchen. It was just so well written, so funny, and so sweet.

This episode was strong, because the three main plots (Casey/Frannie power struggle, Kappa Tau pledges versus actives, and Evan blackmailing Calvin's boyfriend) were all firing on all cylinders.

And between the Frannie/Casey scheming on this episode of Greek and the intense political machinations on Gossip Girl the other night, I feel like I'm ready to take over the world.

• Ashleigh: "You can't stop smiling. It's like your face is broken!"
• Beaver: "Thanks, Spitter, you're the breast--I mean best!"
  Ben: "Good one, Beav."
• I just saw Beaver on an episode of Gilmore Girls playing Rory's jogger roommate's large boyfriend who Paris hated. I hadn't realized that he was Beav.
• Rusty: "Mail call. My pledge brothers are about to receive my package." (Oh, Rusty...)
• Max's hair was not good on first date night.
• Holy cow about that wine list! That stuff was pricey. I wonder how long until Evan blows through his trust fund and has to get a job leading campus tours with Ashleigh.
• No wonder Rusty and Ben are ticked off, I've never seen that one kid (who is supposedly in their pledge class) before in my life. He can't have been contributing much.
• Wow, these pledges are easily placated. They're that excited about camping out in the house? Suckers.
• Uh, which Shakespeare play are they going to be watching? Because most Shakespeare plays really are not that romantic.
• (Gasp!) They drank three bottles of $400 wine!
• Calvin: "I don't mind that you're poor. I'd just prefer that you not use the word 'lavish' again. It's weird."
• Casey: "The stereo only ejects CDs if the car's in reverse. It's good for the environment that way, I guess; it's a hybrid."
• Beaver: "They just mooned us."
  Cappie: "Yeah, everyone except for Rusty; he just showed his underpants."
• Max: "If you need to make a call, check with Brutus; he's wearing a Bluetooth headset."
• Casey: "She's Karl Rove with hair extensions." (I haven't heard a good comparison between a school girl and Karl Rove since The O.C. when Seth Cohen compared him to Taylor Townsend.)
• Ashleigh: "Mmm, gelato's way better that collages!"
• Pledge (about the loud yodeling music): "The cops ain't coming, man. They probably just think it's an Omega Chi party."
• They played "I Never" on Veronica Mars. But it was a drinking game. And it didn't get this heated.
• Aww, poor Casey, throwing water on Frannie was perfectly understandable, but she's not showing the best side of herself to Max.
• Casey: "I can't do it anymore, Max. I can't compete with Sarah. She was a world-saving Buddhist philosopher who died tragically young from cancer. Last week, I got visibly upset because someone dribbled coffee on my Entertainment Weekly."
  Max: "Well, nobody likes stains." (If it was the EW with Ed Westwick and Leighton Meester on the cover, I think Casey's anger was completely justifiable.)
• Casey: "You like me because I'm alive? Pretty broad criteria."
• Max: "Should we go finish that girl off?"
• Arrowhead: "Does free will even exist?" (I was wondering the same thing after puppet master Chuck played all the other Upper East Siders like fiddles on GG last night.)

(photo: abcfamily.com)

TV News Roundup

What I'm paying attention to:

• Based on a behind-the-scenes Gossip Girl feature I saw on Access Hollywood a few days ago, it seems like Blair Waldorf has spent her summer vacation figuring out how to turn Chuck Bass' name into swear words. So far she's got: "Chuck Basstard" and "mother-Chucker."
• Uh oh. Art imitates life as Scott Michael Foster (Cappie) drinks too much, gets in trouble. Evan Chambers is going to have a field day with this...
• Wildfire's Kris Furillo is hooking up with one of Rory Gilmore's ex-boyfriends on Supernatural! Genevieve is seriously brave to sign on for this job, as Supernatural fans have been notoriously harsh critics of some of the show's past female characters. I'm kind of missing Kris and the Wildfire gang, though, so I might tune in for this even though I don't watch Supernatural. Wildfire, Junior, Matt, and the wind turbine are all going to be so jealous though.
• Speaking of the Wildfire gang, Nana Visitor (still can't believe that's her real name) a.k.a. Jean Ritter is in the soon-to-be-released film Swing Vote (you have to scroll down the list to find her). I know about this because she delivers what seems to be a fairly important line in the trailer.
• Even after spending a year working on Private Practice, Chris Powell is still hilarious. Is it just me, or does he seem pretty serious when he's comparing the rest of PP's cast to a group of elderly people who need someone young to reassure them that they're still attractive?
• Grunberg comes dangerously close to admitting that he thought the second season of Heroes sucked too.
• My favorite season 2 Chuck Bass outfit so far.

Wildfire: Marrying Rich

Wildfire: "Being Mrs. Junior"
Maybe Wildfire's imminent departure is making me overly sentimental, but I thought this episode was pretty great. And not just as compared to other episodes of Wildfire, but as simply an entertaining hour of television.

First of all, Kris and Junior were all kinds of cute together in this episode. The opening scene of them in the kitchen was so super adorable that I almost got a toothache. Like rivaling-Jim-and-Pam-for-cutest-TV-couple cute.

And the other highlight of the night was the return of the wind turbine!!! Yea! How I've missed you, wind turbine. (I really was going to call B.S. if that thing was never mentioned again.) And darned if the thing isn't worth $3 million. Not bad.

One of the more messy developments of the episode was Mr. Davis' attempts to scare Kris away by showing her that she doesn't fit into "Junior's world." Kris needn't feel too badly, though, because this scenario is something every outsider character has to deal with when they snag a rich significant other. Dan on Gossip Girl, Rory on Gilmore Girls, Ryan on The O.C., and the list goes on. Kris is in good company. Some more good news for Kris is that in the other shows, the outsider ultimately prevailed. I have a sneaky suspicion that she will too.

As for Matt and Dani, I really thought that they had eons more chemistry together than Matt and Kris ever did. I say, go for it! Especially if they have this history has been referenced but I don't know about. Plus, Matt is considerably less of a miserable human being in his scenes with Dani than he is at any other time.

What I could do without, however, is the unceasing bickering about the ranch. Eesh. Ok, they all work a lot, they need to be profitable, dude ranchers pay money, horse racing is a gamble, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It just reminds me of vintage Smallville when they used to argue about the farm. Who cares? I sure don't when Junior is off somewhere else being adorable. Let's watch that.

Best Quotes:

Kris: "What about next month?"
Junior: "Or the year 2050! We could get married and get Medicare at the same time."

Matt: "What happened? What are you doing back so early?"
Junior: "Hey, if you're going to punch me again, can you punch me on the other side? My left side is still a little swollen...see?"

Kris: "How'd the pitch go?"
Calvin: "I lost my voice!"
Junior: "You did get it back."
Calvin: "Yeah, like ten minutes later."
Junior: "We got off to a rocky start... Of course, the end didn't go that well either."

Mr. Davis: "Like I said, it's nothing personal."
Kris: "Well, it's personal to me and don't you forget it."
Mr. Davis: "Are you threatening me?"
Kris: "Yeah. I am."

Random observations:

• I guess it's ok to show up an hour late if you bring a rock like that with you. Yikes.
• At least Wildfire is always there to stand with Kris while she mopes.
• Geez, these Kris/Junior naysayers just do not give up: they're still going at it next week! Give it up and move on, people.

photo: abcfamily.com

100th Post! (And Happy Birthday!)

Happy 100th post to me. In honor of my own birthday a few weeks ago, I was planning to do a post on good birthday-themed TV episodes, but I never got around to it. However, I think it kind of applies to the blog's 100th post anniversary in that it's some sort of milestone, so I'll give it a whirl now. Plus, December birthdays always get overshadowed by the holiday season, so here's something a little special for all the people with December b-days. (And, yes, I realize that the chances of one of the 1.7 people who occasionally read this blog actually having a December birthday are not good, but oh well.)



Best Birthday TV Episodes:

• Rory turns 16, Gilmore Girls, season 1: Rory's b-day causes a stir among the Gilmore generations (what doesn't?) when she doesn't appreciate the snooty party Emily throws her. All is tenuously patched up though when Richard and Emily agree to attend Rory's Stars Hollow party...even thought Lorelai accidentally yells, "Get your ass in here!" at them.
• Michelle turns 3, Full House, season 3: It sure seemed like Michelle Tanner had a lot of birthdays (the sun sure seemed to shine on that child), especially since I can't remember Stephanie having any. Hmm. That's a topic for another time, I guess. Anyway, my favorite Michelle b-day was when she, Steph and Uncle Jesse accidentally get locked in a gas station on the day of her party. Things initially look dire, but Jesse and Steph dress like clowns, do a sock puppet routine and juggle, so everything turns out awesome.
• Caleb turns ??, The OC, season 1: Ok, I can't make a complication list without including something from The OC, but I sure wasn't going to include the season 3 ep where Ryan turns 18. Anything that seeped in (dead) Johnny, Sadie and Volchok will never find a place on any Best Of... list of mine. The season 1 ep where we meet Caleb for the first time, however, was great, even though it threw a big monkey wrench (in the form of Caleb's hot and very young girlfriend) into the blossoming Ryan/Marissa love affair. Episode highlights include some freaky foreshadowing about Sandy and Kirstin moving back to Berkeley, the obligatory witty banter, the first mention of the "I Wish I Was a Mermaid" poem and Seth and Summer's first kiss.
• Michael turns ??, The Office, season 2: Michael is never good at sharing the spotlight, especially on his birthday, so things go awry when Kevin has a skin cancer scare on Michael's big day. The episode features a trip to the skating rink, Dwight playing a Billy Joel song on a recorder (ugh), a Pam and Jim shopping trip and lots of funny quotes, including my favorite:

Michael: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And... I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I came out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.

• George Michael turns 16, Arrested Development, season 3: I can't remember how much of GM's b-day is even really in the "Mr. F" episode, but I'm including it on the list because of this hilarious exchange:

Michael: Besides I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...
George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it!

• Fiona turns 21, Shameless, series 1: In the midst of a tearful scene in which he and Fiona profess their devotion to each other, Steve nearly gets carted away to prison when Tony busts him on his car thieving. Steve thankfully manages to talk his way out of the situation (as he usually can), and surprises birthday-girl Fiona by buying the house next door (and promptly blowing it up for the insurance money). Other highlights: Frank fakes his death, Monica and Norma make an appearance (until the kids kick them out) and Sheila's pregnant.

Premiere Watch '07: Viva Laughlin

Viva Laughlin:
Well, it wasn't easy, but CBS managed to put a show on at 10 p.m. on Thursday that was significantly worse than Big Shots.

I didn't think it could be done. Major congratulations are in order for Les Moonves, etc. The congratulations will, however, be quickly followed by questioning along the likes of: "WTF were you thinking?"

Ok, I don't particularly love musicals, but I really don't like whatever this was. It wasn't a musical because the actors were only kind of singing along with the actual songs. And they doing it in a half-assed manner reminiscent of Britney Spears at the VMAs. You couldn't even freaking hear them some of the time.

As stupid/bad as the songs were, I felt like there weren't enough of them because the spoken dialogue and plot were so much more awful! And, dude, the main character guy is replusive. And not in a House/Dexter/Boston Legal kind of way, but in a there's-nothing-remotely-likeable-or-redeemable-about-this-person-at-all kind of way.

I felt badly for some of the actors in the show who can do so much better (and have done better in the past): Senator McAllistor's brother from Brothers and Sisters (a.k.a. Rex from Days of Our Lives), Sherry Tinsdale from Gilmore Girls, and Professor Landry from Veronica Mars. I feel particularly badly for Prof. Landry because he was on Pushing Daisies just last week! That's a long way to fall in a very short amount of time.


Most of the time while watching Viva Laughlin, I honestly could not believe what my eyes were seeing and my ears were hearing. And not at all in a good way.

Premiere Rating: 1 / 10
(Well, I know it was worse than Big Shots, which got a 2.5, but I'm not really sure where to place this one in the 0 to 2 range. I'll go with a 1 because I suppose that somehow it could have been worse: they could have sung only Spice Girls and Celine Dion songs, they could have played a transexual hooker plot line for laughs, they could have aired a blank screen for an hour, etc.)

Premiere Watch '07: Samantha Who?

Samantha Who?

Well, this is my last premiere review of the fall season, unless I blog Viva Laughlin for some evil fun tomorrow...which, face it, I'm totally going to do.

Anyway, Samantha Who? was a pretty darn delightful show, which is much more than anyone can say for ABC's other new comedies (Cavemen, Carpoolers), which I couldn't even sit through. I enjoy seeing Christina Applegate back on television, as I was a bit of a Jessie fan back in the day. At times, Christina seemed just a little over-the-top in her portrayal of Sam, but I guess she was going for the always-on-the-verge-of-a-freak-out thing that is popular among female TV characters (and Chuck from Chuck).

After the first episode, I feel pretty sorry for "new" Sam since she's stuck with "old" Sam's scary parents and friends. I love Gilmore Girls' Sookie, but her character was pretty freaky on this show. And, let's just say, if that's how Jennifer Esposito acts in real life (I assume it's not), then I can see why Bradley Cooper divorced her.

I did love Barry Watson in this show. I think he's becoming one of those people who just get cuter and cuter all the time (or maybe he just seems cuter since I don't have to be watching 7th Heaven to see him). It was a nice twist that Todd had already tried to break up with pre-coma Sam. That revelation made a lot of sense because he didn't really seem all that into having her around. I also liked how all the messages on his answering machine were his friends bad-mouthing Sam.

I hope we get to see more flashbacks to pre-coma Sam, because she seems pretty entertaining in her horribleness.

Funniest Part:

Sam: "You raised me. You made me who I am!"

Sam's mom: "What a horrible thing to say!"

Sam's dad: "Apologize to your mother."

What I liked most about this pilot is that it made it seem like there's plenty more material to cover in this story. So hopefully the show won't peter out in the next few episodes, like I think Reaper sadly has.

But I would be remiss not to mention that this show is almost exactly 13 Going On 30 without the fairy dust and the "Thriller" dance sequence.

Premiere Rating: 7 / 10

(photo: abc.com)

Premiere Watch '07: Aliens in America

Aliens in America offered up a pretty good pilot. There were definitely some funny and sweet moments. The teenage misfit theme of the show reminded me vaguely of Malcolm in the Middle, but I think Malcolm was funnier than AiA.

Raja was a highlight. He had a very good delivery of both his comedic and emotional material. The scene with him being shanghaied in his classroom was really good. I was a little lukewarm on Justin, though, because he seemed over-the-top at times ("Why would you say that about Grammie?!"). He did have several of the funniest lines, like when he said he told Raja things he hadn't even told the "guys from chorus," and when he was so excited that one boy in the locker room took a step to the side so he could fit in the circle.

I thought that Scott Patterson a.k.a. Luke Danes was miscast... which, perhaps, is why he wasn't originally the guy cast in this role. Maybe the problem, though, is that I'll always find Scott Patterson to be miscast in any role that doesn't involve him wearing a backwards baseball hat and a flannel shirt and yelling at everyone.

Oh and I also have to point out how creepy it was that Justin's guidance counselor was Clarence Wiedman from Veronica Mars! That guy is so scary! I'd be terrified if he was my guidance counselor!

Maybe the problem here wasn't AiA, but the fact that I'm having misfit/nerdy boy overload. Almost every new show I'm watching is about a misfit/nerdy boy (Chuck, Reaper, AiA, Pushing Daisies, Gossip Girl, etc.). I'm normally all about the misfit/nerdy boys, but even I think this might be excessive. Where are all the misfit/nerdy girls on TV?

So, good start for Aliens in America, but I wouldn't say that I'm addicted (yet).

Premiere Rating: 7 / 10

Bon Voyage, Ror and Lor!

Gilmore Girls:
An absolutely beautiful series finale. Definitely one for my "favorite finales" list. I'm particularly impressed that the GG writers pulled off such a touching finale without knowing for sure if it was the series finale. I guess if the show HAD come back for season 8, we'd spend a lot of time watching Rory riding around on a bus? That could be fun; everything involving the Gilmores is fun--except when Lorelai makes "sad face." That's not fun for anybody.

I'm super proud of Rory landing her Obama job. That jobs seems like it would be even more fun than the NY Times internship since she'll get to travel and hang out with all the other reporters. The downside is that she'll have to spend a lot of time in Iowa... :-) My one hang up was: did she really send out 75 resumes? Did she personally tailor each cover letter to the specific newspaper she sent it to? And if so, does she sleep? Geez. I do kind of love how Gilmore always seems just a little confused about how college and jobs work in the real world.

Another of my favorite moments was when Lorelai agreed to continue Friday night dinners with Emily and Richard. It's nice to know that this seven year process of getting Rory through high school and college have gone a long way to repair the damage between Lorelai and her parents. Without Rory around, maybe Lor and Emily will become best buds and pal around :-) Because that would be hysterical.

And Luke and Lorelai kissed...and that was the end of it, which I love because I'm totally ok with L/L being together--but actually watching it makes me gag. I hope they go on the boat trip to Maine together and eventually get married under the hoopa that Luke built for Lorelai. That would be lovely.

The final scene was perfect--almost an exact parallel to the final scene of the pilot episode: Rory and Lorelai in the diner, playfully bantering, while Luke makes them food. I love, love, love it when shows end by coming full circle (hence my blubbering during The OC finale when they showed the clip of Marissa standing in the sun and Ryan driving past). While it would be nice to know how Amy Sherman-Pallidino was planning to end the show (the infamous last two words), I think the new team did a stellar job.

Ok, sniff, sniff. Thank goodness the Gilmores are on ABC Family every afternoon! I'm not sure I could live without them.

Ann's Favorite Series Finales Ever

In honor of the Gilmore Girls series finale tonight (sniff, sniff), I've compiled a list of my favorite series finales ever:

• The OC: I still get sad thinking about this show being gone. Thankfully, one of my favorite shows of all time ended with one of my favorites finales of all time. The finale 15 or so minutes of this ep especially were fantastic. Ryan standing in the Cohen house remembering the early days was so touching. And I'm such a sucker for the shot of Marissa standing in the sun while Ryan drives by. I was bawling. Also awesome were the flash forward clips: Seth and Summer getting married, Julie graduating college, MiniCoop excelling in school, Sandy teaching at Berkley Law, Ryan working as an architect and helping kids. It was so nice to see that our favorite characters (minus Marissa, of course) all getting happy endings.
• Alias: This was another show that was hard to say goodbye to. Sydney, Sark, Vaughn, Jack, Sloane, Marshall, Will, Francie, Irina and Dixon all meant so much to me. The episode was complicated, of course, what with Irina falling through a skylight, Sloane becoming immortal, Jack trapping immortal Sloane in a tomb/cave, etc. Loved Sydney and Vaughn living happily-ever-after on the beach with their kids...while Sydney still goes on the occasional mission to take down Sark. Sydney and Sark forever!
• Arrested Development: George Michael and Maebe aren't related after all!
• Full House: Michelle gets amnesia...but then remembers everyone. Phew. In even better news, Steve takes D.J. to the prom and Steph is the Juliet to a cute boy's Romeo.
• Angel: I didn't even really watch this show, but I loved this episode. Fade out on Angel and friends taking on thousands of evil demon things. ("Personally, I'd like to slay the dragon."--so cool)

And, just for the heck of it, bad series finales:

• Lois & Clark: A mysterious baby shows up in their freaking house when they find out that Clark can't have kids (Earth kids, at least). Lois was so sappy. Ugh.
• Due South: The flash-forward scenes were so discouraging!
• Three's Company: Jack and Janet did not end up together. Enough said.

Now only a few hours until we find out where the Gilmore finale will rank on this list :-(

Another Gilmore Milestone

Gilmore Girls:
Wow. The second-to-last episode ever. I can't wrap my head around life without the Gilmores. Congrats to Rory on her graduation from Yale. This graduation ceremony wasn't the tear-jerker that her Chilton commencement was, but it was still a lovely moment. And it was all the more appropriate because I was watching the episode in Delaware with my girls who themselves will be graduating in a couple weeks :-)

Rory does seem to have bad luck relationship-wise on her graduation days. She broke up with Jess around the time she graduated from high school, and now Logan's on the way out too. I agree with her decision to decline his proposal for the time being... I mean, what is the rush? But I was a little shocked the Logan turned it into an all-or-nothing situation. Was that necessary? If he really loves her that much, how can he be willing to just cut her out of his life completely? I don't really understand, but whatever; good riddance, Logan.

I liked that Christopher was back for this episode. I find it odd though that only a few months later Chris and Lorelai seem to have already moved on from their failed marriage, while Lorelai and Luke are still all messed up. Like, geez, Luke, just because Lorelai is telling Miss Patty and Babette that her karaoke song didn't mean anything, it doesn't mean that's how she really feels. Like she would tell Miss Patty and Babette the truth about that?

My favorite part was when Chris said he didn't think GiGi is ready for The Search for the Next Pussycat Doll. Ha! Take that, CW.

Better get the kleenex ready for next week's series finale :-( It's going to be hard to say goodbye.

Veronica Mars:
I love this show. It's a triumph, really. Even this week when there was not much mystery in either of the two cases, the show still made for a very entertaining hour.

Yea for Paul Rudd. I have great affinity for him; he is, after all, Josh from Clueless, one of my favorite movies ever. He was hilarious as the washed-up rocker. His radio interview with Piz alone was fantastic. First, he asks the girl in the food court to show him her boobs, then he admits to using drugs and alcohol to get him through the day, and then he points out that a campus Jewish group's initials are S.S. Oy vey.

I also very much enjoyed Dick's online video of himself dancing next to his moving car and running over his own foot. And I do like the Mac and Max combo. Mopey Logan was a little annoying, what with his wondering whether Veronica cheated on him with Piz. No, Logan dear, infidelity is your thing, not 'Ron's. And 'Ron was too busy surveilling Logan to have time to cheat on him :-)

Piznarski is such a sweetie which, according to Paul Rudd, was why he had no women, but now he's got one! Woot! (And Chris Lowell and Kristin Bell are just as adorable in real life! Their interview on cwtv.com is hilarious. Best part is Kristin comparing her seeing Chris to Queen Elizabeth seeing the deer in The Queen. Fantastic.)

What a time to be a Gilmore Girl...

The CW is saying that Gilmore is not coming back for another season (even another shortened season). That is bad news. Seriously bad news. This is a dark day :-(

This better mean that they have a time slot open for Veronica Mars on next season's schedule.

I Love Veronica!

Ahh, a Tuesday with new Gilmore and Veronica! Savor it, boys and girls, because there may not be too many more of them. Which is just freaking wrong, by the way.

Gilmore Girls:
Oh, Rory, I know how you feel. Go ahead and hide under your covers (with your unfinished blue book), I won't hold it against you at all. I must confess, however, that I do find it a bit gratifying to see this girl who has had everything she's ever wanted handed to her on a silver platter floundering a bit now. She'll make it though. There are more that three newspapers in the country, for crying out loud.

I'm still so over Luke. And I remember exactly when I started to detest him: that episode where he bought those stupid self-help books on tape. Ugh. That was three years ago and he's still not working for me. L/L still seems so awkward to me. It always has. I almost find myself longing for the days Max Medina :-) Or Digger. Digger!

And, as for Lorelai, while I would have expected her to sing something a little funkier than "I Will Always Love You" at karaoke night, to quote Zach, Lauren Graham does have some serious pipes! And the look on her face at the end when Logan said he wants to marry Rory and move her to San Fran--- just give the woman her freaking Emmy already! Seriously.

Veronica Mars:
It's back!!! It's back!! Yea!!!!! And Pizonica is totally on! Good for Piz. He's such a nice kid and I think Veronica could use a little nice in her life right now--especially when Parker and Logan seem to be making it their personal duties to rub her face in their relationship and guilt her into hanging out with them. Why did she have to go to Parker's stupid birthday party? Hasn't Veronica done enough for that girl, what with solving the Hearst rape case and all?

Can I just say, though, Veronica rocks! She is such a badass--paintballing the stupid paintball kids, picking up the Arab restaurant worker guy's pictures at the One Hour Photo... Wow, I wish Veronica were a real person and my friend! I would totally just follow her around all day long. She's so freaking interesting.

I thought Papa Mars was a bit of a drag tonight, but I guess somebody has to keep the underagers out of the bars, lest they get drunk and stumble into the street. Cool how he fired four corrupt deputies. When Sheriff Lamb was there, I really don't remember there being that many deputies working in the police station though. It always seemed like it was just him and the deputy with the mustache. But whatever.

Funniest parts:

• Logan's comment that he bought a special pen that highlights text in neon colors.
• Logan and Mac making jokes about their good old times in high school like when Logan made a bet that he could turn Mac into the prom queen, but then fell in love with her :-)
• Keith giving Wallace and Piz really bad fake IDs and Wallace saying, "We really don't all look alike, Mr. Mars."
• Veronica and Dick in the elevator. Like Mac, I was almost afraid something was going to happen with Veronica and Dick. Thank goodness Veronica is much, much, much too smart for that.
• Mac and Max, (What's Mac doing? She has that cute save-the-animals boyfriend...) especially Max's "My friends didn't pay you, did they?" You can't blame him for asking; there is precedent.

Oh and is Piz's name really Stosh? Stosh? That's awful. No wonder he goes by Piz, which is also pretty freaking bad.

And finally, Law and Order: Criminal Intent is terrible! They had Jimmy Cooper playing an astronaut and the show was still unwatchable! The story line was blatantly stolen from the news and the dialogue was cumbersome at best. The rotund detective guy could barely get his lines out. And the lady cop sidekick is not any better. Yikes. I think everyone who was watching L&O: CI instead of Veronica Mars last night should have to publicly stand up and account for their poor taste.