Gossip Girl: Those Schoolgirl Days of Telling Tales Are Gone

Gossip Girl:
"The Goodbye Gossip Girl"

I wouldn't be me if I didn't start this post by pointing out Gossip Girl's second season finale episode's title is very similar to the seminal "The Goodbye Girl" episode of The O.C., in which Anna moves back to Pittsburgh and Seth chases her down in the airport with Nada Surf's cover of "If You Leave" playing in the background. Unfortunately, I think that airport scene packs more of an emotional wallop than everything in this episode of Gossip Girl combined. (By the way, look who was rocking brightly colored tights years before the Gossip Girl girls ever did.)

Well, you can tell it's a Gossip Girl season finale when characters start changing their minds about important life decisions extremely quickly and often without seeming to give it much, if any, thought whatsoever. I'm not going to recap all the flighty decisions from last year's rushed finale (here's a refresher). Tonight: Dan's suddenly going to NYU (because of losing his Yale money, we can assume, but why was this second option never mentioned before?), Vanessa's suddenly going to NYU; after deciding he doesn't want anywhere near Lily, Rufus suddenly decides to marry her; Nate suddenly decides that he doesn't want to do the internship with the mayor that he supposedly decided he really wanted to do a few episodes ago; after months and months of being absolutely incapable of letting Blair in, Chuck--in the last seconds of the episode, of course--suddenly can't stop telling her he loves her; etc., etc. I understand the appeal of having surprise cliffhanger-ish developments in a finale, but there's no reason that they have to come out of nowhere in the context of the episode.

Unfortunately, my complaints don't end there. The whole "let's find out who Gossip Girl and make her pay once and for all for picking on us" storyline was soooooooo fabricated. Yes, Gossip Girl unleashed some pretty nasty comments mid-commencement. Yes, I buy that Serena, etc. would want to expose her once and for all. Yes, I buy that that would piss GG off and she'd unspool even more dirty secrets. Yes, I buy that that would piss Serena off even more and she'd still try to take GG down. Yes, I buy that GG would send everyone to meet Serena and say (something to the effect of) "Look around, Gossip Girl is all of you." But NO, I do not buy that that wouldn't make Serena and everyone else even more pissed off. Everyone didn't call Nate a whore in the middle of graduation. Everyone didn't call Serena irrelevant. Everyone didn't call Blair weak or Chuck a coward. A specific someone typed those words, and if Serena was really that worked up about it, she wouldn't have accepted "it's all of you" as an answer. And, since they were all saying how much they hated Gossip Girl and how glad they were that she wouldn't be following their lives anymore, it's even more ridiculous that they so easily (and even somewhat gratefully) accepted the fact that she'll follow them to college. And, it's even more ridiculous that Gossip Girl explained that her hurtful words of earlier in the day were an attempt to "bond" these people. I mean, what are we supposed to say? How sweet of her to insult everyone and air their dirty laundry? What a humanitarian she is? Assuming that was her intention, since when has Gossip Girl ever been this sappy? She might as well have created a Photoshop collage of graduation pictures and captioned it with the lyrics of "To Sir, With Love."

(Also: Gossip Girl didn't give them all a clean slate. A clean slate is when no one knows anything about you, not when everyone knows everything about you.)

I'm sorry. I love Gossip Girl (the show) and I love Gossip Girl (the unseen character), but this didn't make sense.

I'm going to do my list of quotations and random thoughts now so I don't launch into more complaining:

• I like the blue and green graduation robes. That's so much more visually interesting than basic black ones.
• Serena's mug shot was on the cover of the New York Post? Is she really that big of a deal?
• Oh, good! Serena did tell Blair that Chuck said he loves her.
• I liked Blair stopping to give the paparazzi a couple shots of her.
• Um, isn't it creepy for Vanessa to be secretly filming her ex-boyfriend from afar?
• Noooooooooooo, please don't start the Nate and Vanessa thing again. Nooooooooo.
• Nooooooooooooo, Vanessa's going to NYU! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. She needs to move far, far away!
• Wow, that's quite a hoochy dress that Jenny wore to her brother's graduation.
• Izzy: "What would high school be without hierarchy?"
  Jenny: "Bearable? A nice place to spend time?"
  
• Blair: "I thought we were matching our headbands under our graduation caps!"
  
• Ha ha ha, Dan's name was left out of the program. A fitting end to Dan's time in St. Jude's.
  
• Wow, leave it to Chuck to wear an orangey pink shirt and tie with his bright blue graduation robe.
  
• Don't they at least play "Pomp and Circumstance" for these kids? Geez, what kind of a half-assed ceremony is this?
  
• Why is Serena not wearing her graduation cap? She just has her tassel clipped into her hair!!! How is that allowed?! If you tried that crap at my high school graduation, you would have gotten kicked out of the ceremony!
  
• Gossip Girl dubs Nate the "class whore." Amen to that.
  
• Chuck is not a coward--just look at that color combination he's wearing!
  
• Gossip Girl: "And as for Serena van der Woodsen, after today you are officially irrelevant."
  
• Why are we still watching Rufus and Lily?!?! No one cares! And it's physically painful.
  
• Whoa, when I agreed that Nate was the class whore, I wasn't thinking about how he took money for sleeping with Catherine. I was just thinking that he tends to get around.
  
• Nice try with the "Jonathan is Gossip Girl" fakeout. I didn't buy it. Frankly, I knew he wasn't that interesting. And he's only been around for a few months.
  
• And, dude, if it was that easy to figure out who Gossip Girl was, why didn't anyone do that earlier? That was like the calling-Georgina's-parents-and-having-them-send-her-to-military-school ridiculously easy solution of the year.
  
• Ok. Jonathan isn't GG, he just hacked into her server. That seems more likely. That's just boring enough to sound like what I would expect from Jonathan.
  
• Blatant allusion to The O.C.'s "The Goodbye Girl"! Dan used the phrase "sage wisdom," which is what Seth always said Anna possessed. That was no coincidence.
  
• Dan's going to NYU (and living in the dorms) too? Did we know that officially? So Serena is the only one who is going away?
  
• Lily goes through Chuck's room? That's creepy.
  
• Wow, I think Vanessa's wearing all the colors in the world. At least all the ugly ones.
  
• Dan: "Was she just about to tell me she loved me?"
  
• Gossip Girl knows about Blair and Chuck's uncle on New Year's! Oh nooooooooooooooo. I was wondering when that was going to come up and bite us in the ass.
  
• When was Dan is jail? Oh, that time he and Chuck got arrested for something. Punching people, I think? Geez, Gossip Girl deserves a medal for keeping all of this stuff straight.
  
• Um, sorry Blair, but Chuck sleeping with Vanessa is not the same thing as you sleeping with his uncle. At all.
  
• Well, Blair sure set herself up for another rejection there...
  
• Are we supposed to be happy that Lily has landed her fifth husband?
  
• Who cares if some of these people never talk to you again, Serena? Most of them are seriously horrendous human beings. You'll be better off without them.
  
• Sorry to ruin Blair's cautionary tale, but Anne Boleyn certainly did not think "only with her heart." She was a very calculating schemer, not unlike Miss Waldorf. (And I admit that while being a huge fan of both Anne and Elizabeth I.) It's time for Blair to watch some more of The Tudors and brush up on her British history. She can borrow Serena's DVDs. (S thinks Henry Cavill is hot.)
  
• Eric's dreamed about the waffle maker? That boy leads such a sad life.
  
• Ha ha, Serena should put her mug shot on the wall at Brown. That would be hilarious.
  
• Vanessa: "Humphrey, where's you mind?" (Well, if that isn't the million dollar question.)
  
• Dan: "I miss high school. ...Even Chuck Bass, who would get so close to talk."
  
• Is that Dan's secret brother? I don't think his name was Scott. I guess he's lying about that. It seems like lots of people lie to Dan about their real names when they meet him.
  
• Jenny needs that sparkly headband to smush that mess of a hairdo down a little.
  
• Jenny: "Ok, so, starting next year, no more headbands."
  
• Gosh, I hope Jenny doesn't make all the girls at Constance wear dark eyeliner and bleach their hair.
  
• Georgie's going to NYU too? Ha ha, and she's requesting Blair as a roommate. Wouldn't NYU have to clear that with Blair? Of course they wouldn't; it's a TV show.
  
• Carter found Serena's father? She was looking for him in Santorini? I thought she was just getting drunk and marrying other people's boyfriends.
  
• Why would anyone ever get Carter to help them with anything?
  

Now as for good old Chuck and Blair:

So, on graduation night, Chuck (again) just couldn't bring himself to say "I love you." Now, after a week of not being able to escape thinking about Blair, he can say it 5 times in a row. That's all very sweet, but why? What changed? From what I can tell, nothing. Sure, he felt haunted by her presence all week, but guess what--she had actually been present in his life all year and that never seemed to help.

All along, Chuck didn't want to tell Blair he loved her, because he was afraid he'd hurt her. So it seems to me that in order for him to feel like he could tell her he loves her, he would have had to come to the conclusion somehow that he was ready to be her boyfriend and he was not going to hurt her. He had serious personal issues that had to be worked through and we didn't see him do that. Instead of his speech about going all over Europe to buy Blair's favorite things, why couldn't he say something to the effect of: "I've loved you for years. I never felt like I could tell you though because I thought that if we were together, I would just find one way after another to let you down. I've continually pushed you away, because I thought you would be so much better off without me. But, I've realized something. No matter what I do, you still stand by me. And no matter what you do, I still love you and all I want is to make you happy. I know now that this can work because I will make it work. I'll do whatever it takes to be who you need me to be, because I love you." Or something. It doesn't have to be that.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't want Chuck and Blair to finally be together (I've wanted that for a long, long time), it's just that if we've dragged this God-foresaken storyline out for this long, we might as well end it correctly. They invented so many fake, forced reasons to keep Blair and Chuck apart, and when they finally got them together, they didn't bother to resolve any of them.

I don't know. Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe if I watch it again, I'll realize that this episode wasn't as problematic as I thought it was upon my initial viewing. Maybe I'll be able to focus on the fashion and the quips and just seeing the characters I love and learn to not worry about the logic.

This post is approaching Illiad length, but since I thought of it, I can't help but do it:

Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone, but in my mind, I know they will still live on and on. But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume? It isn't easy, but I'll try. If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters that would soar a thousand feet high, "To Sir, with Love."

The time has come for closing books, and long last looks must end, and as I leave, I know that I am leaving my best friend, a friend who taught me right from wrong and weak from strong, that's a lot to learn. What, what can I give you in return? If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start, but I would rather you let me give my heart, to Sir, with love.

(photos: cwtv.com)

Kings: Slaying the Giant

Kings: "Goliath"

Before I discuss the pilot episode of Kings, I must begin by saying that the kid who plays David (Chris Egan) reminds me so much of Rolf (Daniel Truhitte) from The Sound of Music that it's distracting. I keep expecting him to belt out, "I am seventeen going on eighteen; I'll take care of you!" and dance around a gazebo. I can't be the only one who sees this. Here they are side by side:

Now, as for Kings, I'm not totally sure how I feel about the show. I love The Tudors, so a new show featuring intrigue in the court of a royal monarchy seems promising (especially since it's a show that I don't need Showtime to watch). It's also very intriguing that Kings tells the story of a modern kingdom ruled by a monarch. It seems modern monarchies usually only show up in pop culture in ridiculous teen movie like The Princess Diaries or The Prince & Me. But from the looks of it, Kings' Kingdom of Gilboa is nothing like Princess Mia's Genovia.

I think my main complaint about Kings is that it's really dense. I spent most of the episode trying to figure out the history behind this whole King Silas business. After all, since this isn't The Tudors and this stuff didn't really (more or less) happen, you can't just Wikipedia the names of characters to help you understand what's going on. Plus, the show also uses a lot of (sometimes rather heavy-handed) religious allusions, so that adds even more for viewers to wade through.

Is the show worth all the effort? I'm not sure yet, but I think it might be. It's certainly interesting. King Silas sure seems to be quite the character, I'm thinking that you probably don't want to mess with the queen, Prince Jack is basically Chuck Bass with a few interesting twists, and I liked the chemistry between Daniel and Princess Michelle. I think that the show would be better if they dial back the politics a tad and up the soapiness quotient, but that might just be my personal preference.

Specific thoughts and highlights:

• The capital is called Shiloh? Are we supposed to search for context clues in the Neil Diamond song? Or is it a reference to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt?
• Rev. Samuels: "You are very polite, David."
  David: "It's just how I was raised."
  Rev. Samuels: "Do something about that before you grow up."
• Butterflies? Really?
• So the king was a soldier who was raised up into being a monarch? That's interesting.
• Dude, this David kid is seriously badass.
• David Shepherd? Seriously? Isn't that allusion a little heavy-handed? (Especially since Lost is already using that Shepherd one.)
• Whoa, the queen's assistant is displaying a lot of cleavage! This isn't The Tudors. I'm glad the queen had a problem with that too.
• So, is it a coincidence that the king's son acts like Chuck Bass and is played by Sebastian Stan (Carter from Gossip Girl), who is Leighton Meester's real-life boyfriend? Doubtful. I do have to say though that I thought Sebastian was really good in this episode. I guess GG wasn't utilizing his full range by just having him steal money from Nate and get beat up at cotillion.
• He's the freaking king of Gilboa--of course he has a tailor!
• Queen: "Why is it that pretty people are always so bad with details?"
• Not the butterfly story again. This is getting old. (Prince Jack agrees with me.)
• Rev. Samuels: "You're drinking a single malt that God himself only takes out of the cabinet once a year."
• Oh, look, David's a master pianist too! Is there anything this kid can't do?
• King Silas: "Ahh, half my kingdom it is."
• Eesh, so it turns out that King Silas rules with an iron fist. That guy got offed just for standing up too soon.
• Princess: "The human will can take ashes and turn it into ice cream."
• OMG! The prince is gay! I didn't see that coming. I fell for his womanizer act. Aww, poor kid.
• Oh geez--invading right after you sign a peace treaty? That's ballsy (and rather immoral).
• Who was this "whore" that the king loved and "gave up"? I wonder how long until she shows up... Ahh, all of 5 minutes. They sure telegraphed that reveal. And a secret kid too! Silas must be doing a lot of controlling of the press if no one's figured all this out yet.
• Oh, Silas means business when he starts using the royal "we" pronoun.
• Silas wants the Rev. Samuels to declare a fast? Seriously?
• Silas set up the whole kidnapped soldiers thing in the first place (thus almost getting his own son killed).
• Ok, David, hate to argue with you here since you're clearly so distressed, but you are brave. Nobody else went running into the enemy camp to try to rescue the hostages.
• Ok, so you can force a new peace on two countries by going out in the middle of the field and giving a long, flowery speech?
• Silas: "The king's brother-in-law came to congratulate him on the truce."
• Hey, I'll trade this war for another one, because maybe I'll actually understand what's going on in the new one.
• Ha--the queen purposely stages little shows for the press to make it looks like Jack screws all her secretaries.
• Well, of course Jack is going to be in on the plot to overthrow Silas. Any good coup needs somebody with a claim to the thrown.
• Um, David, you probably shouldn't go talk to the princess while you know her dad is watching.
• Oh no, here come the butterflies. This is getting a little silly.

(photos: David--nbc.com; Rolf--Robert Wise Productions for Twentieth Century-Fox Corp.)

Quick Round-Up: 02/04

Random (interesting) stuff from the world of television:

• I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks that Burn Notice's Fiona is 15 shades of awesome.
• I know this Yale stuff has gotten stressful, but unless B has had some sort of lobotomy, there's no excuse for this behavior: Gossip Girl SPOILER.
• Oh my poor sweet Kyle...
• I don't know why I even tried to watch last week's SNL (hosted by Steve Martin), but I instantly regretted it. I mean, seriously, more MacGruber? Why, God, why? When Laser Cats is far and away the pre-Weekend Update highlight, we've got a serious problem. But, ultimately, I was glad I toughed it out, because during Weekend Update new-ish cast member Abby Elliott unleashed a stellar Angelina Jolie impersonation. As in, she was so good that I spent a few moments wondering if maybe that was the real Angelina after all. And subsequently I've spent a lot of moments wondering why SNL has kept this gem under their hats for so long. They had to have known that this impression was great--I would have used it in the first skit of the night. Or every skit until someone else could come up with something funnier than Laser Cats or whatever annoying character Kristen Wiig is playing.
• I guess sometimes good does prevail over evil? Case in point: Greek SPOILER.
• I don't know who this singer is, and the song is no "Womanizer" (ha!), but the video features Ryan Hansen as a back-up dancer clad in '80s fitness attire. And that is all you really need to know.
• Lie To Me: My love for David Anders (my sweet Sark) has been well documented (by me). And I'm devoted: I stuck it out with Heroes (which was no easy task) until they decomposed/disintegrated him in front of my very eyes. But I just could not take last week's episode of Lie To Me in which DA guest starred. That show is insufferable with a capital "suffer." Granted, I was only trying to watch it during Lost's commercial breaks, but I couldn't even do that! The whole show is: the main investigators ask someone a question, the person answers, the main investigators proceed to verbally analyze every movement the person made while answering, repeat, repeat, repeat. There's only so much that you can take of: "You thrust your chin, which signifies defiance. Then you touched your neck, which signifies lying. Then you looked to the right, which signifies evasiveness. Then you patted your stomach, which signifies that you're hungry. Then you gave us the stink eye, which signifies that you think we're annoying. Etc." If anyone talked to you like that in real life, you'd seriously punch them in the face.
• And I know I'm about a year behind on this (what's a girl without Showtime to do?), but the second series of The Tudors is rocking my world. There's a lot of good television airing right now, but The Tudors is all I want to watch. Oy, how I love Jonathan Rhys Myers! And Natalie Dormer's Anne Boleyn is all kinds of fantastic. I'm considerably distressed by the inevitability of poor Anne getting her head cut off; I want her to stick around forever.
  

  

(photos: usanetwork.com and Showtime)

Gossip Girl: A Yale Tale

Gossip Girl:
"New Haven Can Wait"

I'll admit that when I heard that the kids of Gossip Girl were heading to the campus of Yale, I fantasized about a crossover episode between GG 2.0 (Gossip Girl) and GG 1.0 (Gilmore Girls). It's too bad that Rory and her gang have all graduated. Think of the possibilities: Blair and Paris going at it; Chuck hanging out with Logan and his Life and Death brigade; Nate, Dan, and Marty sitting around and being boring (okay, that was a little harsh on Marty); etc.

Even if there was no GG/GG crossover, this episode was still pretty awesome:

• Ha ha ha, the Blair/Serena My Fair Lady dream sequence was hilarious. It must be fun to have Blair's dreams--they're all based on classic movies.
• Wow, if only everyone's hair looked that flat-ironed right when they wake up!
• Marc Jacobs named a handbag after Serena... Her?
• How did Dan get excellent SAT scores? He chokes on tests, and he was too busy worrying about Serena not showing up.
• Chuck: "We're hours away from horny women's studies majors who want to work off all their anger against men in their bunk beds."
• Chuck picks colleges based on the merits of their secret societies.
• Chuck: "Say hello to the characters on public transportation."
• Holy moly! Serena's shirt is very low cut! As in, it plunges lower than her boobs. That's what she's wearing to go on a college visit?!?!
• Ouch for Brown University! Blair just took that institution down a few pegs. If it was good enough for Summer Roberts, it should be good enough for Serena van der Woodsen. Although Blair's point about girls going to Brown and turning into vegans does mesh well with Summer's experiences.
• Blair: "Have fun in Providence. Maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there!"
• Rufus lets Jenny walk all over him yet again.
• Secretary: "Oh my, the dean hasn't laughed like that in years!"
• I knew Nate was going to use Dan's name instead of his own. It was a better choice than Chuck's, I'd say. But why does no one on TV ever just make up a name?
• Skull and Bones guy (to Chuck): "Rumor has it that you've slept with more Maxim covers than John Mayer."
• Aww, poor Blair. She has plenty of stories she could tell the dean! Like the one about her eating disorder or the one about her dad running away with a male model. Or the one about how she just dated a lord who turned out to be sleeping with his stepmom. There really are a myriad of options here.
• AHHH! Blair kissed the dean on the cheek! Oops, that was embarrassing.
• Wow, Serena really has taken a lot from Blair: Nate, Mrs. Waldorf, the girls at school.
• Chuck: "...and talking to Blair about how she's going to get into Yale gets her really--"
• Ha, Dan ruining Nate's charade in a very unsmooth matter was funny.
• Nate (to Dan): "Do you ever get tired of carrying that chip around on your shoulder? No wonder Serena dumped you!" (Go Nate!)
• Ha ha, Blair bribed the secretary with antique ceramic cats.
• Dude, Blair's right: according to her own wisdom, the parties that are most important to attend are the ones you're not invited to.
• Maybe if Rufus better explained to Jenny why it is so important for her to go to school, she'd accept his decision or at least understand it better.
• I'm beginning to think that Serena's whole strategy to get into college is showing as much of her boobs as possible.
• Blair (on how Serena would answer the "who would you go to dinner with?" question): "No, let me guess: Lauren Conrad." (I guess LC won't be making a cameo on this show.)
• Are they playing a string version of "Mr. Brightside" in the background?
• Who knew that Nate had so many enemies at Yale?
• Serena's finally right about something: Henry Cavill (of The Tudors) is a total babe.
• I didn't think for a second that Chuck was going to turn Nate over to Skull and Bones. It's an added bonus though that he did give them Dan.
• Oh, Blair, you're too much! Putting the name of the dude who overdosed on Serena's answer card! Wow.
• Nice shot, Blair! Conk her right in the head with that purse!
• Best part of the B/S fight was Blair squealing: "My headband!!!!!"
• That dress is way too skimpy for Lily. Although, I guess if her daughter dresses like a tramp, she might as well dress like one too. I have definitely seen more than enough boob from the van der Woodsen ladies tonight!
• Dan tied to the statue is delightfully reminiscent of the flagpole scenes in Veronica Mars. (But, seriously, that's the best Skull and Bones can do? They should watch more Veronica Mars; the secret society at Hearst was so much creepier. They electrocuted people for crying out loud.)
• Nate: "I hope you at least bought the statue a drink first." (Ha ha ha ha ha. One of the funnies things to have ever come out of Nate's mouth.)
• Dan: "I'm not entirely proud of my choice of boxers."
• Blair (to Serena): "Life's too short; you make it feel so long." (Amen. But Serena and Dan together make it feel even longer!)
• I don't think that B and S deciding to take a break from being "friends" is the world's worst idea.
• Oh great, now that Jenny is going to be homeschooled, I guess she'll be hanging around and doing nothing but meddling in other people's business like Vanessa always does...
• I love, love, love Blair's outfit (which is shown in the above picture). Especially the hat!
• And, look, Serena's showing more of her boobs...
• No, I don't think "the reality of being separated next year is just too scary to think about" is really why Serena and Blair had the fight. I think they had the fight because they really just hate each other.
• Chuck: "You may be the future leaders of America, but you're now under the control of Chuck Bass." (That Chuck--taking down Skull and Bones in one weekend...)
• Oh, Yale is just using Serena because she's famous now. Serves her right after she repeatedly shoved her "entitlements" in Dan's face.
• Poor Chuck. He should have guessed that Nate would have no sense of humor about any of this. He is still Nate, after all.
• Next week's preview: Blair wants Chuck to help her take down "that troll" Vanessa. Ok, don't get me wrong, I'm all for taking down Vanessa, but why does Blair suddenly care so much about it?

So, in the beginning of the episode, it seemed like almost everyone wanted to go to Yale. By the end, it appeared that those who wanted to (Blair) wouldn't be able to and those who would be able to (Chuck, Serena) didn't want to. I'm wondering if this is just all laying the groundwork for them all to go to Columbia together (or something similar), so that next season won't suck.

Headband Monday: I wore a fancy blue ribbon-decorated band in honor of the kids' trip to Yale. (Blue is one of Yale's colors, but I'll admit that was coincidental.)

(Gossip Girl photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: The Coronation

Gossip Girl: "The Ex-Files"

• Blair: "Where did you summer?"
  Girl: "The Adirondacks."
• Blair: "Break ups are easy. It's having to see them dating someone else that's hard. Why do you think I rub it in Chuck's face every chance I get?"
  Serena: "Because it's your twisted version of foreplay."
• Wow, Vanessa is making a killing off her run-ins with the rich. $10,000 from Chuck, a year's rent from Blair, $5,000 from Catherine...
• Dan waved at Serena again. Shades of their first date.
• Why is Chuck skulking around? Just to be mean, I guess ;-)
• Chuck: "Who'd have thought that Humphrey would be the first one to move on. They're sweet together. Did I overhear something about a lunch?"
• Wow, Lily has no willpower. She's back from her honeymoon for less than a day, and she's already going on dates with Rufus. Bart's gonna love this.
• Blair: "Lunch. As in the meal before dating."
• OMFG! Marcus is banging his step mom! I called it weeks ago! Guess that explains why he's in no rush to sleep with Blair. Catherine, however, can't seem to get enough of the boys.
• Props to Vanessa for having the presence of mind to snap the money shot of Marcus and Catherine.
• Chuck really has developed quite the interest in the Dan/Serena break up saga.
• Dan (about the pic of Marcus and Catherine): "Why can't I look away?"
• Geez, Dan, just cut Serena a break for once. Who the hell cares that she let Blair invite Amanda to lunch before she told Blair to cut it out. (Actually, I think Serena was telling Blair all along not to do it, but Blair wasn't listening. B can be a little headstrong.)
• Serena: "Just so you know, if this were a competition, I wouldn't need Blair and the posse to win."
• Wow, ice queen Blair took the Marcus/Catherine reveal hard! Because she really liked him, or because she didn't want Chuck to have the satisfaction of knowing what happened?
• Is Amanda really worth all this trouble? I think she's kind of annoying.
• Jenny: "I'm talking about you and Miss Hannah Montana on Gossip Girl."
• Wow, Jenny has to be Dan's conscience. It's not a good sign when social climber Little J is the moral compass of the family.
• LOL at Chuck poking Serena with the flower to wake her up. Hilarious.
• There's no other solution than Serena/Dan/Amanda all going out together? Really? I'd imagine that there are any number of other solutions.
• Blair: "I thought my family was twisted, but you people take the cake."
• Leave it to Blair to handle things. Noooo, Vanessa, let Blair deal with it.
• Serena: "Yeah, he likes poets, and letters to poets."
• Dan: "Well you certainly picked a winner."
  Serena: "Yeah, he's fun, non-neurotic. I thought it'd be a nice change."
• Dan missed the point (again). This time, the point was that he hurt Serena's feelings by rebounding so freaking fast and that he should apologize. He is such an asshat.
• Dan: "You should wear a bell."
  Chuck: "Kinky. I'll think about it."
• Blair (to Nate): "Hold that non-thought."
• What is Chuck doing? Why is he going to so much effort to bring back the old Serena? He needs hobbies that don't involve arbitrarily messing with people!
• Oh my God! I missed some of what Chuck was saying about the purple-ish goo. What is that stuff? And why does it burn people's hair off? And why does Chuck just carry it around?
• Serena: "Never again. From now on, everything goes through me." (Hey, I'm finally starting to like Serena.)
• OMFG--Chuck put Amanda up to it all along! Finally, his endgame is revealed, and--no surprise here--it's all about Blair. He's trying to instigate a second coming of the Blair/Serena feud. So he thinks that if Blair is knocked off her pedestal, she'll come and slum it with him. (There is precedent; after he had her humiliated last year in the two-guys-in-one-week incident, she did come to hang out with him.)
• Chuck: "I had to create a monster if I was going to dethrone a queen."
• My sister made the astute observation that all the follower girls switched from wearing headbands (Blair) to boho head scarfs (Serena) overnight. Does this mean I have to change Headband Monday to Headscarf Monday? Because I'm not cool with that.
• Serena putting her head scarf around Blair's neck was bizarre. Perhaps it was a hint that she's supposed to be wearing a scarf now too?
• Chuck: "Hey, look who's back on top. I wonder how that happened? Wait, now that I think about it, I know exactly how that happened."
• Wow, Serena is no joke. She rules with an iron fist. Awesome.
• I can't say I'm heartbroken to see Dan Humphrey get shunned.
• Gossip Girl: "Bow down or bow out."
• Holy moly, the politics and power plays of Gossip Girl put Machiavelli to shame! They really played up the theme tonight, and the whole show can be viewed as a modern day tale of intrigue in a royal court (a la The Tudors and the myriad of other royal court dramas). Amazing. Tour de force episode.

It's Headband Monday... (off-white with a bow from Forever 21):

(Gossip Girl photo: cwtv.com)

Burn Notice: Back in Miami

Burn Notice: "Breaking and Entering"

Yea, Burn Notice is back! It's nice to reclaim at least some of the glory that was last summer's television. Let's just see if I can remember anything that was going on...

The best part about Burn Notice is the characters. Michael, Fiona, and Sam are all extremely likable, and Michael and Fee are so cool that it almost hurts. The second best part about Burn Notice is that it's so freaking fun. It's like Alias before we had to worry about prophecies and entire cities blowing up.

Not that Burn Notice doesn't have it's share of high stakes. After all, Michael is being coerced into working for the people who "burned" him (for some unknown reason) and who do not seem like the nicest bunch of folks you'll ever want to meet. The lady on the phone is all kinds of annoying with her threats, but at least by the end of the episode we got to put a face to her voice. It wasn't a big surprise that the seemingly-random "firecracker" at the bar turned out to be the mystery lady, but it was still entertaining.

Highlights:

• It's nice to see Fiona again since seeing the actress who plays her (Gabrielle Anwar) in The Tudors playing Henry's sister (who ended up being kind of pathetic, which is something Fiona will never be).
• Michael (on airbags): "Gone are the days when you could run through a line of trees without getting a face full of nylon."
• Back to Miami already...Michael had barely left.
• Poor Jimmy. He has quite an unfortunate tale.
• Sam trying to fit into Michael's shirt.
• Ha, nice accent!
• The scene where Mike and Fee were shooting at each other and trying to miss was pretty awesome.
• The Psych commercial of Gus and Shawn singing "Ebony and Ivory" is hilarious.
• Spies have such extensive experience in the strangest stuff (cutting through a floor, for example).
• Michael laughing when Jimmy tells the security guy to take off his jacket and pants.
• Jimmy giving Michael his car as a thank you.
• Ahh, the obligatory beginning-of-season-two break up. This is television; we can't have the couple be together, now can we?

I'm glad to have this show back. Now if only Damages had returned too...