Casting an American Shameless

I love Shameless. Or, rather, I love the first two series of Shameless up until the moment that Fiona and Steve climb in the car and skip town. I thought the third series was okay. And after that I don't really know how I feel about it because I didn't have anyone to illegally clandestinely download the other series for me. I have heard, though, that the show got pretty ridiculous (and not good ridiculous like it was in series 1 and 2). Overall though, I love the show: it's shocking, it's hilarious, and it's surprisingly sweet. Just thinking about it brings back fond memories of it scandalizing me when I was just a young college student studying abroad...

With my warm feelings toward the show in mind, here's a stream-of-consciousness recreation of my reaction when I checked my Twitter feed and saw the news pop up that Showtime has picked up to series the pilot of an American version of Shameless:

Shameless!!! YEAAAA! Are they're doing an American Shameless? They are! Yea! Wait, who's in it? William H. Macy?! What?! As Frank!? William H. Macy as Frank! Are you kidding me? Emmy Rossum is no Anne-Marie Duff. Allison Janney?! Oh noooooo. No, no, no.....

I realize I'm judging without having seen the actual product, and that we should refrain from doing that, but I can't help it. I don't like this cast. Partially because it just seems incorrect and smacks of respectable actors (Macy and Janney) trying to loosen up their images by taking on "fun," "shocking" roles. And partially because I have given a lot of thought to an American version of Shameless over the years, and I'm positive that my cast is better:

(Bear in mind that I picked this cast about three years ago (circa early 2007), so the ages of some of my actors now skew a little too old.)

Fiona: Amanda Seyfried
Steve: Ben McKenzie
Frank: John Corbett
Sheila: Merrin Dungey
Monica: Molly Ringwald (She'd be so much more awesome in this than in Secret Life.)
Lip: Ricky Ullman
Ian: Michael Cera (This role would force him to show a bit more range than usual.)
Debbie: Abigail Breslin
Liam: The kids who played Jamie on Malcolm in the Middle
Veronica: Busy Philipps
Kev: Enrique Murciano (Not sure about this one; Enrique might be too pretty for Shameless.)
Tony: Michael McMillian
Karen: Dana Davis
Craig: Adam Brody (It's stunt casting, but it's hilarious.)
Norma: Queen Latifah

And there you have it. Casting perfection.

I have some other ideas for the American version. Instead of going with an inter-city setting, I'd stage the American version in a trailer park in the South, creating a white trash version of the Gallaghers. Keeping with that theme, I'd change some of the Gallaghers' names to hearken back to the "glory days" of the Old South, as a display of the parents' ridiculous illusions of grandeur. Fiona becomes Scarlett, the boys get the names of Civil War leaders, etc.

My cast has some fairly big names in it, and I have a strategy for how to get them to sign onto a television project. Working off the assertion that the British version was great in the first two series and then fizzled out, I would set a finite number of episodes from the beginning, creating one massive season of about 24-27 episodes, broken into three parts. (A season that long is doable, as The O.C. did 27 episodes in its first year.) That way, the talent can sign onto the project knowing that they will devote only one year to it and won't get sucked into working on the same project for four or five years. New characters won't have to continuously be created to fill in the void left by departing actors. And the plot of the entire series can be mapped out from the beginning, creating a cohesive creative product.

(Would a network go for this model? I don't know. It would certainly cut down on the number of DVDs available to sell. It might make up for that though due to the popularity a well-know cast would likely garner.)

So, yes, I had big plans for an American Shameless. But what was I to do? Start a production company with capital I don't have and try to buy the rights to Shameless? Alas, it was not to be. I guess I can always console myself by watching vintage episodes of the original British version.

(photo: www.channel4.com/programmes/shameless)

SYTYCD: Vampires, Aliens and Ballerinas, Oh My!

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 14 Performance Show"

The episode started off with quite a dramatic opening montage, seeing as it's only Top 14 night. (That intro seemed like it was designed for the finales or at least the week the cuts for the Top 10 are made.)

Cat's dress is a little on the boring side again this week. Strapless, hot pink, poofy skirt, kind of prom-y. She has at least paired it with kind of a punky belt, however.

Has the line above the U in Kupono always been there? I've not noticed it before. I guess I've got to start figuring out how to get that symbol in Blogger... or not.

Oh nooooo, the third judge is Mia! Poor Brandon. Hushed silence as we wait to find out if Mia pulled the stick out of her butt in regards to Brandon. She reports that her opinion of him has improved. So that's nice. I was sure they were going to milk that later in the show: Brandon performs and Mia suddenly has an epiphany and realizes that he doesn't represent everything she hates in the world after all. And everyone cries.

Do we need to do such a thorough retrospective on every couple's three previous routines? It's only been three weeks!! I still remember all of their previous dances.

Janette and Brandon (Jean Marc & France Genereux cha cha):

• The featurette: Janette's bangs/hair really bother me.
• The dance: I like Janette's hair poofier like this. This routine is pretty good. Janette's obviously really good at it, and Brandon's keeping up well. It wasn't really a Benji/Heidi-caliber Latin-style routine, but will anything ever be? I'm beginning to think no.
• The judging: Nigel says this was "the best damn cha cha ever on this show." I'm not convinced, but upon further reflection, I remember that Benji and Heidi did a "club salsa" and a "mambo" but not a cha cha, so all comparisons to them are, in fact, completely irrelevant. Apparently, salsa technique (Janette's specialty) and cha cha technique are totally different. After a remarkably reserved and articulate critique, Mary gives them two first-class tickets on the hot tamale train and totally loses it. Mia tries to explain her past pissiness off as her recognition that Brandon has great talent and her wanting to be harder on him so that she can drive him to his full capabilities. I think she might just be kinda mean. Or that the producers told her to pick someone random and just skewer them to create some drama on the show. Whatever.

Kayla and Kupono (Sonya Tayeh contemporary): Enjoy your gift, kids. I can't imagine a more favorable combination of style and choreographer for these two dancers at this point in the competition.

• The featurette: Sonya's hopping right onto the pop culture vampire bandwagon with this routine.
• The dance: And, just in case we didn't get it, the song (Blue Foundation's "Eyes on Fire") comes straight off the Twilight soundtrack. I'm loving Kayla in this. Kupono's okay. I'm kind of wishing that he was Mark right now though. Mark + vampires would be absolutely creeptastic! I think they could have done a little more with Kupono's makeup for this one. He does not look all that vampire-ish; his lips aren't red enough.
• The judging: Nigel mention's Twilight and Sonya goes "YES!" in the audience. Lol, that seemed excessive. Nigel says that he's not going to talk about Kayla first because Kupono was so awesome. Ok, whatever. Mary likes it too and wants to know where Kup's beautiful kicks came from. Mia thinks this is Sonya's best piece ever on the show. (I still like "The Garden" better.)

We're 35 minutes in, and only two couples have performed. Oh my freaking heck...

Randy and Evan (Joey Dowling Broadway):

• The featurette: The couple reflects on their charmed life in this competition (getting assigned jazz, jive, and contemporary routines). And now Broadway! This is Evan's specialty. Ha ha, this Joey chick is hardcore.
• The dance: That opening spin/kick-(cartwheel)-on-the-table thing from Evan was awesome. Evan also looks way hotter than usual tonight. And this routine is eons better than most of Tyce's Broadway routines. Let's lock this Joey lady down! Evan was really good, and Randi was good too.
• The judging: Nigel thinks that their wrists need to be more flexible. Seriously? How does one make one's wrist more flexible in a week? Nigel says Randi did well but that Evan could do more. Mary says she really enjoyed it, but the tone of her voice doesn't sound too convincing. Mia says that since Evan and Randi are short, they need to take the dancing to an even higher level. Mia says Randi's dancing was "a little heavy." Mia also says "good job," but in a way that makes it sound like she's saying "that was the most horrendous piece of crap I've ever seen."

Wow, does Katherine Heigl's The Ugly Truth look terrible, or what?

Caitlin and Jason (Brian Friedman pop jazz):

• The featurette: Jason's personality seems a bit too calm for this show. He's very chill, and chill is rare on SYTYCD. Brian's back! Catlin is an alien who blew up Earth and then comes down to find the last man left with whom she can procreate. Now we're talking.
• The dance: Santigold!! "Creator" is a kick-ass track and it fits this theme well. Caitlin's doing pretty well with her alien role, but Jason's looking really good, even though his role isn't as flashy. Actually, he's kind of killing this. His pop jazz movements are superb. Isn't anyone going to suck this week? Who are we going to put in the bottom three?
• The judging: Nigel thinks Brian comes from another planet. Are those cuts on Jason's face part of his costume? OMG, Nigel just said that Caitlin's outfit makes her look like a "dancing condom." Cat: "Safety first, Nigel." Mary says this doesn't sit right with her. Come on, what's the big deal? How was this any weirder than crash test dummies or vampires or comic books or foxes or transformers or mannequins or any of the other weirdo stuff they've had on this show before? Would we seriously rather watch the same sappy contemporary routines about lovers getting together and then breaking up over and over and over again? I would not.

Jeanine and Phillip (Napoleon and Tabitha hip hop): ARE YOU SERIOUS?! They're doing another Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine? They did a Nappy-Tabs routine in week one! This is week four! That means that two of their four routines have been Nappy-Tabs hip hop routines! Come on! I realize that Phillip hasn't been showing that he can do any other style particularly well, but that's no reason to keep serving his specialty up to him.

• The featurette: Phillip describing how he felt when his pants ripped last week was hilarious.
• The dance: Kayne West's "Love Lockdown," get it? Because they're chained together? I appreciate that the addition of this chain must make this whole thing much harder, but the problem is that they're making it look like it's hard. I thought they were going to take each other out for awhile there. I'm not super impressed. Even the parts where they could ignore the chain and just dance for a while didn't seem that great because everything looked so much like what they did in week one.
• The judging: Nigel, however, loves it. Nigel actually uses the term "Nappy-Tabs." I thought that term was kind of derogatory, so I'd been refraining from using it. Mary says that this routine was just so incredibly creative. So to Mary, chains = creative, but aliens = no good. Oookay. Somehow Mary and Nigel both manage to not mention that this couple already did a Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine just weeks ago! Mia, however, thinks the chain made things look sloppy, and I agree. Way to sock it to Nappy-Tabs, Mia!

Melissa and Ade (Thordal Christensen classical/traditional pa de deux):

• The featurette: I guess this is the first "classical" pa de deux because Melissa's going to wear pointe shoes. So obviously this the only couple who could pull this style off, as Melissa is the only pointe dancer. I mean, can you even imagine Phillip trying to do a classical pa de deux?
• The dance: Beautiful. Not as flashy as SYTYCD routines are known to be--just very simple and classy. Excellent lifts. Melissa was lovely and Ade did all right. I would like to see them do a routine sometime that puts more focus on Ade, however. I feel like he's almost always there just to lift Melissa.
• The judging: Nigel almost wets himself over this, and then points out that tonight we've seen aliens impregnate dancers, dancers in chains, and now classical ballet. Mia says that Melissa was brilliant.

And now for a special announcement: Nigel, Adam Shankman, Carrie-Anne Inaba and Katie Holmes (naturally) have established The Dizzy Feet Foundation to benefit young, underprivileged dancers. They are kind of making it sound like no one has ever given scholarships to dancers in need before. In any event, Katie Holmes looks far better here in this interview than she's looked in years. Also involved is the top-notch team of Lil C, Paula Abdul, Miley Cyrus, Jennifer Lopez, and Debbie Allen. (Debbie is actually top-notch. Miley, not so much.) For more information: DizzyFeetFoundation.org.

Then Nigel announces (to no one's surprise) that SYTYCD's 100th episode on July 23 will include a tribute to Judy Garland choreographed by Tyce Diorio featuring Katie Holmes, who "donated her entire performance fee" to Dizzy Feet. Since when can Katie Holmes demand a performance fee for dancing? She was on freaking Dawson's Creek. That's like Adam Brody showing up on American Idol and expecting to get paid for singing.

Karla and Vitolio (Jean Marc & France Genereux quick step): These poor kids almost got kicked off last week and now they've got to end the show with a quick step!? It sure seems like they are getting thrown under the proverbial bus.

• The featurette: Jonathan looks just as happy sitting in the audience tonight as he did when he was actually in the competition. Vitolio already had to do a ballroom routine; cut this kid a break.
• The dance: I love Karla's polka dot outfit...whoa, and then all of a sudden it turns into a flowy pink dress! I'm no quick step expert, but this looks okay. I'm not sure that the quick step technique was impeccable, but the routine was fun: there was some Charleston and there was a little bit of a story. It was nice. I don't know if it will really inspire people to vote for them though. I think this does prove that Jonathan was holding Karla back a bit.
• The judging: Nigel and Mary both like it. Mia says Jean Marc is a genius and that this piece was amazing. Mia says that at times Vitolio looks like "a wild horse" who cannot be tamed, but sometimes he's great. Vitolio: "It was the kiss of death, but hopefully we made it the kiss of joy." That was a sweet thing to say, Vitolio, but I think it's going to take more than that to keep you out of the bottom three.

Phillip almost took Karla out when they first started to dance during the end credits. Other than that, the end credits dancing was much improved this week.

My favorites: Kayla and Kupono's contemporary, Caitlin and Jason's pop jazz, Randi and Evan's Broadway

Headed for the bottom three: It's kind of a tough one to call this week. I'm thinking Karla and Vitolio, Caitlin and Jason (due solely to the judges' lackluster critiques), and maybe Brandon and Janette (just because they went early and didn't have one of the gimmicky "marquee" routines of the night).

The SAS Awards

Since new, watchable television continues to dry up, I'm going to turn my attention to the cinema (as Warren Cheswick would say) for a post. To help ease my depression about tonight's lack of an actual Golden Globes awards show, I'm going to bestow some film awards of my own.

It seems that there are about a billion different organizations that hand out film awards every year, so I thought I'd go ahead and throw my hat into the ring. With a little more publicity, perhaps my awards will expand and in a few years maybe the nominees will be showing up at my door in fancy outfits. (By then I suppose I will have to actually make some sort of physical award to give them, but we can worry about that later.)

So, here's my list of the first annual Stuff Ann's Seen Awards a.k.a. the SAS Awards a.k.a. the Sassies! To be nominated or to win, the work must be in a movie released in 2007 that I actually saw...so obviously that limits the competition significantly. The list may have to be eventually revised if/when I catch up on some of the films I wanted to see but didn't.

Best Film Nominees:

• Atonement
• August Rush
• In the Land of Women
• Knocked Up
• Juno
• Spider-Man 3
• Waitress

Analysis: In retrospect, I think my favorite parts of Knocked Up were the fake outtakes with James Franco and Michael Cera that were posted on the internet. I liked In the Land of Women, but more because of my love of Adam Brody/Seth Cohen than for any particularly great aspect of the film itself. I also enjoyed Spider-Man 3, but acknowledge that it isn't exactly the best film of the year. August Rush and Waitress were both well-done, likable and moving (Waitress's main flaw was expecting me to hate Jeremy Sisto, which takes an awful lot of effort on my part). But this is a two-film battle between Juno and Atonement. Atonement was classy, creepy and beautiful and seamlessly produced feelings of great paranoia and disparagement. The film was certainly a masterpiece of using performance, music, cinematography, etc. to instill a single, unifying mood. But, I'm going to give the win to Juno. Although I didn't like it as much as last year's powerhouse small indie comedy Little Miss Sunshine, Juno was still funny, smart and surprisingly touching without being sappy or over-the-top. And, come on, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner and Michael Cera in the same movie. Enough said.

Best Actor Nominees:

• Adam Brody, In the Land of Women
• Jon Heder, Blades of Glory
• Freddie Highmore, August Rush
• Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man 3
• James McAvoy, Atonement

Analysis: I doubt I'll ever tire of the Adam Brody/Seth Cohen shtick, Tobey got to display a new range in the Spider-Man trilogy as a less-likable Peter, Jon Heder did a solid Johnny Weir impression (!), and Freddie gave a powerful, believable performance as a music prodigy. But, coming as a surprise to basically no one who knows me and my film tastes, the Sassy goes to James McAvoy for his work in Atonement. And fantastically good work it was, as he proved (yet again) that while he could rely solely on his hotness and very blue eyes, he doesn't have to. His work in the war scenes was harrowing and he was downright scary (good) in the reunion scene with older Briony.

Best Actress Nominees:

• Katherine Heigl, Knocked Up
• Keira Knightley, Atonement
• Ellen Page, Juno
• Keri Russell, Waitress

Analysis: First of all, props to Keira for being the only actress in the category to NOT play a character dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Also props to Keira for her turn as Atonement's Cecilia, my favorite performance of hers ever. Heigl held up well amongst the bawdiness of Knocked Up, but the race here is between Ellen and Keri. Ellen was great as Juno--truly carrying the film with her combination of searing wit and vulnerability. But the Sassy goes to Keri (often overlooked by other awards) for her engrossing turn as the bitter, desperate and sarcastic pregnant pie-maker. Her hilarious "Dear Damn Baby..." voice-over cemented her win.

Best Supporting Actor Nominees:

• Michael Cera, Juno
• James Franco, Spider-Man 3
• Andy Griffith, Waitress
• Justin Long, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
• Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, August Rush

Analysis: There are quite a few of my favorites smushed together in this one category. Justin provided my favorite part of Walk Hard with his spot-on George Harrison impersonation, Michael Cera was awkwardly irresistible as always in Juno, Andy Griffith was funny and touching as the sage pie store owner, and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was desperately hot and quite a good singer in August Rush. The Sassy goes to James Franco for (presumably) Harry's last hurrah. I mean, there was a scene where he made and omelet and did the twist--come on, no one else had a chance.

Best Supporting Actress Nominees:

• Jennifer Garner, Juno
• Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
• Jenna Fisher, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
• Michelle Pfeiffer, Hairspray

Analysis: Jenna Fisher did a good job with her very anti-Pam Beesly over-the-top character and Pfeiffer's evil blonde was about the only thing I liked about Hairspray (I guess it was a problem that I usually agreed with her nasty assessments of the other characters). The real race here is between Jen Gar and Saoirse. Saoirse was a revelation in Atonement, playing the creepy little girl so well that she came dangerously close to stealing the show from James McAvoy (no easy task) and Keira Knightley. Saoirse's performance was all the more brilliant because I really couldn't tell if she was just confused or actually pure evil. The Sassy, however, goes to Jennifer. Obviously already a favorite of mine, Jen freaking broke my heart with her work in Juno--making her character somewhat unlikeable in the beginning only to turn her into the person I most wanted to be happy at the end.

Best Musical Performance:

• Michael Cera and Ellen Page, "Anyone Else But You," Juno
• Hugh Grant, "Pop Goes My Heart," Music and Lyrics
• Glenn Hansard and Marketa Irglova, "Falling Slowly," Once
• John C. Reilly, "Royal Jelly," Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
• Jonathan Rhys Meyers, August Rush

Analysis: Yep, I saw Hairspray and didn't nominate it in the Best Musical Performance category. There's a reason for that. Jonathan Rhys Meyers (with the help of Mick from Moonlight!) performed well as an Irish rock singer and Michael and Ellen's version of "Anyone Else But You" is adorable. The hilarious Bob Dylan spoof song was my favorite musical number in Walk Hard and it is awesome that even after achieving a large amount of success in the movie business, Hugh Grant is still willing to make such a fool of himself. But the category's winner (perhaps on a technicality) is "Falling Slowly" from Once, which I have not seen, but I think the song is pretty great.

Premiere Watch '07: Reaper

Ok, just as it was difficult to talk about Gossip Girl without mentioning The OC, it's kind of hard to discuss Reaper without at least thinking about Chuck. Because, wow, in a lot of ways, they're almost the same show. Funny, underachieving guy who works in a huge "box" store unwittingly becomes a secret agent (or, in the case of Reaper, a secret agent demon hunter). Based on the pilots, I think I liked Reaper just a little bit better...due in no small part to the fact that the main character is played by Bret Harrison..

In sticking with the 5 points per actor rule I pulled out of my butt established yesterday, I'd like to report that Bret Harrison totally delivered his 5 points for Reaper. I love Bret Harrison. He's the reason I still occasionally watch the Grounded for Life reruns on ABC Family. I love Brad and Lily (and especially their big dance at the prom). And, of course, finding out that Bret is in Adam Brody's band put him way over the top in my estimation. Like Michael Cera, Adam Brody has exceptional taste in friends. And, to prove that I'm a real Bret Harrison connoisseur, when I watched the repeat earlier this summer, I totally recognized that it was him playing the really weird, hip hop-ish VJ on the episode of The OC when Seth and Ryan go to Spring Break in Miami.

But why did I love Bret tonight? Well, he plays the lovable slacker very well. And he can do an impeccable freak out. And he has a very expressive face. And, in the scene where they vanquished the demon, and Sock said, "I think I wet my pants," Bret actually looked down to check. Eeeeeew, but so funny!

Other great things about Reaper include Ray Wise making the Devil seem like a pretty charming fellow and a very solid supporting cast. Sometimes Sock (that nickname is awesome) was a little over the top and trying super hard to channel his inner Seth Rogen (do we all have an inner Seth Rogen, and is that good or bad?), but he delivered a lot of the episode's funniest lines. And, let's face it, I like TV that's funny, so while the demon guy bursting into flames was pretty creepy and the Zamboni thing was gross, it's the comedy that will keep me coming back.

I'd also like to mention that the directing and camera work in this episode was fantastic. The scene where the shopping cart eluded Sam's reach was particularly cool. This episode was directed by Kevin Smith, and I admit that I haven't seen much of his work, except for a little bit of Jersey Girl, but we won't hold that against him. A lot of people made career choices during Bennifer 1.0 that they came to regret (um, namely Ben Affleck). Anyway, nice job, Kevin.

Highlights:

• Sam's mom: "Sam did go to college. He went for a month, and we're very proud of him for trying. It's just that college made him sleepy."
• Sock called Sam's brother "K-Fed" just because he didn't get into Stanford. Ouch!
• Sock throwing the bleach at Sam. "You were supposed to move that with your mind."
• the Devil explaining where the portals to hell are: "Anyplace that seems like hell on earth is hell on earth--like the DMV on Union Street."
• Devil: "Oh, I forgot, you got a 600 on the SATs."
• Ben: "I take it back, Sam; that's a really evil mini-vac!"
• Ha ha, asshat. Did we all learn our name-calling from Summer Roberts? It's nice to have a friend who will forgive you for anything just because you say, "I'm an asshat."
• Sock: "You're evil."
  Sam: "So I heard."
• I loved the scene where they got all suited up to go fight the demon and then had to sit and wait for the Dirt Devil to recharge.
• Sock: "You are Neo; you're the one!"
• DMV lady: "The boss give you the vessel he thinks you can handle... you must be a real moron."
• Sam: "My parents sold my soul to the devil! I mean how crazy is that?"
  Sock: "My dad forgot to pick me up from sleep-away camp for three days."
  Sam: "That's not the same thing."

My one problem with this episode was that you could totally tell that all the scenes with Missy Peregrym had been shot at a much later date than the rest of the episode. This is the problem we run into, CW, when we recast actors months later. The camera work in the new scenes seemed different, the lighting seemed different, and the real problem was that Bret looked different. He had longer hair, there were highlights in his hair, his face was scruffier, and he looked a little bigger. It was just silly.

Other than that, pretty awesome pilot. My fave so far.

Premiere Rating: 8.5 / 10

(photo source: cwtv.com)