SYTYCD: Vampires, Aliens and Ballerinas, Oh My!

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 14 Performance Show"

The episode started off with quite a dramatic opening montage, seeing as it's only Top 14 night. (That intro seemed like it was designed for the finales or at least the week the cuts for the Top 10 are made.)

Cat's dress is a little on the boring side again this week. Strapless, hot pink, poofy skirt, kind of prom-y. She has at least paired it with kind of a punky belt, however.

Has the line above the U in Kupono always been there? I've not noticed it before. I guess I've got to start figuring out how to get that symbol in Blogger... or not.

Oh nooooo, the third judge is Mia! Poor Brandon. Hushed silence as we wait to find out if Mia pulled the stick out of her butt in regards to Brandon. She reports that her opinion of him has improved. So that's nice. I was sure they were going to milk that later in the show: Brandon performs and Mia suddenly has an epiphany and realizes that he doesn't represent everything she hates in the world after all. And everyone cries.

Do we need to do such a thorough retrospective on every couple's three previous routines? It's only been three weeks!! I still remember all of their previous dances.

Janette and Brandon (Jean Marc & France Genereux cha cha):

• The featurette: Janette's bangs/hair really bother me.
• The dance: I like Janette's hair poofier like this. This routine is pretty good. Janette's obviously really good at it, and Brandon's keeping up well. It wasn't really a Benji/Heidi-caliber Latin-style routine, but will anything ever be? I'm beginning to think no.
• The judging: Nigel says this was "the best damn cha cha ever on this show." I'm not convinced, but upon further reflection, I remember that Benji and Heidi did a "club salsa" and a "mambo" but not a cha cha, so all comparisons to them are, in fact, completely irrelevant. Apparently, salsa technique (Janette's specialty) and cha cha technique are totally different. After a remarkably reserved and articulate critique, Mary gives them two first-class tickets on the hot tamale train and totally loses it. Mia tries to explain her past pissiness off as her recognition that Brandon has great talent and her wanting to be harder on him so that she can drive him to his full capabilities. I think she might just be kinda mean. Or that the producers told her to pick someone random and just skewer them to create some drama on the show. Whatever.

Kayla and Kupono (Sonya Tayeh contemporary): Enjoy your gift, kids. I can't imagine a more favorable combination of style and choreographer for these two dancers at this point in the competition.

• The featurette: Sonya's hopping right onto the pop culture vampire bandwagon with this routine.
• The dance: And, just in case we didn't get it, the song (Blue Foundation's "Eyes on Fire") comes straight off the Twilight soundtrack. I'm loving Kayla in this. Kupono's okay. I'm kind of wishing that he was Mark right now though. Mark + vampires would be absolutely creeptastic! I think they could have done a little more with Kupono's makeup for this one. He does not look all that vampire-ish; his lips aren't red enough.
• The judging: Nigel mention's Twilight and Sonya goes "YES!" in the audience. Lol, that seemed excessive. Nigel says that he's not going to talk about Kayla first because Kupono was so awesome. Ok, whatever. Mary likes it too and wants to know where Kup's beautiful kicks came from. Mia thinks this is Sonya's best piece ever on the show. (I still like "The Garden" better.)

We're 35 minutes in, and only two couples have performed. Oh my freaking heck...

Randy and Evan (Joey Dowling Broadway):

• The featurette: The couple reflects on their charmed life in this competition (getting assigned jazz, jive, and contemporary routines). And now Broadway! This is Evan's specialty. Ha ha, this Joey chick is hardcore.
• The dance: That opening spin/kick-(cartwheel)-on-the-table thing from Evan was awesome. Evan also looks way hotter than usual tonight. And this routine is eons better than most of Tyce's Broadway routines. Let's lock this Joey lady down! Evan was really good, and Randi was good too.
• The judging: Nigel thinks that their wrists need to be more flexible. Seriously? How does one make one's wrist more flexible in a week? Nigel says Randi did well but that Evan could do more. Mary says she really enjoyed it, but the tone of her voice doesn't sound too convincing. Mia says that since Evan and Randi are short, they need to take the dancing to an even higher level. Mia says Randi's dancing was "a little heavy." Mia also says "good job," but in a way that makes it sound like she's saying "that was the most horrendous piece of crap I've ever seen."

Wow, does Katherine Heigl's The Ugly Truth look terrible, or what?

Caitlin and Jason (Brian Friedman pop jazz):

• The featurette: Jason's personality seems a bit too calm for this show. He's very chill, and chill is rare on SYTYCD. Brian's back! Catlin is an alien who blew up Earth and then comes down to find the last man left with whom she can procreate. Now we're talking.
• The dance: Santigold!! "Creator" is a kick-ass track and it fits this theme well. Caitlin's doing pretty well with her alien role, but Jason's looking really good, even though his role isn't as flashy. Actually, he's kind of killing this. His pop jazz movements are superb. Isn't anyone going to suck this week? Who are we going to put in the bottom three?
• The judging: Nigel thinks Brian comes from another planet. Are those cuts on Jason's face part of his costume? OMG, Nigel just said that Caitlin's outfit makes her look like a "dancing condom." Cat: "Safety first, Nigel." Mary says this doesn't sit right with her. Come on, what's the big deal? How was this any weirder than crash test dummies or vampires or comic books or foxes or transformers or mannequins or any of the other weirdo stuff they've had on this show before? Would we seriously rather watch the same sappy contemporary routines about lovers getting together and then breaking up over and over and over again? I would not.

Jeanine and Phillip (Napoleon and Tabitha hip hop): ARE YOU SERIOUS?! They're doing another Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine? They did a Nappy-Tabs routine in week one! This is week four! That means that two of their four routines have been Nappy-Tabs hip hop routines! Come on! I realize that Phillip hasn't been showing that he can do any other style particularly well, but that's no reason to keep serving his specialty up to him.

• The featurette: Phillip describing how he felt when his pants ripped last week was hilarious.
• The dance: Kayne West's "Love Lockdown," get it? Because they're chained together? I appreciate that the addition of this chain must make this whole thing much harder, but the problem is that they're making it look like it's hard. I thought they were going to take each other out for awhile there. I'm not super impressed. Even the parts where they could ignore the chain and just dance for a while didn't seem that great because everything looked so much like what they did in week one.
• The judging: Nigel, however, loves it. Nigel actually uses the term "Nappy-Tabs." I thought that term was kind of derogatory, so I'd been refraining from using it. Mary says that this routine was just so incredibly creative. So to Mary, chains = creative, but aliens = no good. Oookay. Somehow Mary and Nigel both manage to not mention that this couple already did a Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine just weeks ago! Mia, however, thinks the chain made things look sloppy, and I agree. Way to sock it to Nappy-Tabs, Mia!

Melissa and Ade (Thordal Christensen classical/traditional pa de deux):

• The featurette: I guess this is the first "classical" pa de deux because Melissa's going to wear pointe shoes. So obviously this the only couple who could pull this style off, as Melissa is the only pointe dancer. I mean, can you even imagine Phillip trying to do a classical pa de deux?
• The dance: Beautiful. Not as flashy as SYTYCD routines are known to be--just very simple and classy. Excellent lifts. Melissa was lovely and Ade did all right. I would like to see them do a routine sometime that puts more focus on Ade, however. I feel like he's almost always there just to lift Melissa.
• The judging: Nigel almost wets himself over this, and then points out that tonight we've seen aliens impregnate dancers, dancers in chains, and now classical ballet. Mia says that Melissa was brilliant.

And now for a special announcement: Nigel, Adam Shankman, Carrie-Anne Inaba and Katie Holmes (naturally) have established The Dizzy Feet Foundation to benefit young, underprivileged dancers. They are kind of making it sound like no one has ever given scholarships to dancers in need before. In any event, Katie Holmes looks far better here in this interview than she's looked in years. Also involved is the top-notch team of Lil C, Paula Abdul, Miley Cyrus, Jennifer Lopez, and Debbie Allen. (Debbie is actually top-notch. Miley, not so much.) For more information: DizzyFeetFoundation.org.

Then Nigel announces (to no one's surprise) that SYTYCD's 100th episode on July 23 will include a tribute to Judy Garland choreographed by Tyce Diorio featuring Katie Holmes, who "donated her entire performance fee" to Dizzy Feet. Since when can Katie Holmes demand a performance fee for dancing? She was on freaking Dawson's Creek. That's like Adam Brody showing up on American Idol and expecting to get paid for singing.

Karla and Vitolio (Jean Marc & France Genereux quick step): These poor kids almost got kicked off last week and now they've got to end the show with a quick step!? It sure seems like they are getting thrown under the proverbial bus.

• The featurette: Jonathan looks just as happy sitting in the audience tonight as he did when he was actually in the competition. Vitolio already had to do a ballroom routine; cut this kid a break.
• The dance: I love Karla's polka dot outfit...whoa, and then all of a sudden it turns into a flowy pink dress! I'm no quick step expert, but this looks okay. I'm not sure that the quick step technique was impeccable, but the routine was fun: there was some Charleston and there was a little bit of a story. It was nice. I don't know if it will really inspire people to vote for them though. I think this does prove that Jonathan was holding Karla back a bit.
• The judging: Nigel and Mary both like it. Mia says Jean Marc is a genius and that this piece was amazing. Mia says that at times Vitolio looks like "a wild horse" who cannot be tamed, but sometimes he's great. Vitolio: "It was the kiss of death, but hopefully we made it the kiss of joy." That was a sweet thing to say, Vitolio, but I think it's going to take more than that to keep you out of the bottom three.

Phillip almost took Karla out when they first started to dance during the end credits. Other than that, the end credits dancing was much improved this week.

My favorites: Kayla and Kupono's contemporary, Caitlin and Jason's pop jazz, Randi and Evan's Broadway

Headed for the bottom three: It's kind of a tough one to call this week. I'm thinking Karla and Vitolio, Caitlin and Jason (due solely to the judges' lackluster critiques), and maybe Brandon and Janette (just because they went early and didn't have one of the gimmicky "marquee" routines of the night).