Greek: Spy Games and Traveling Pants

Greek:
"From Rushing with Love"

You have no idea how much I need an episode of Greek after the day I've had. Bless this show for being so perfect and sweet and funny and non-taxing.

I do have one complaint, and I bet you can guess what it is if you've ever read my comments about Greek before. Say it with me: No Dale.

Highlights and observations:

• Casey and Ash teach the ZBZs the "devil horns" hand signal for girls interested in Frannie's sorority.
• Mykonos sounds like a great idea for Spring Break!
• Beav and Heath (that's what that guy's name is, right?) fighting over Social Chair was funny. Too bad Marissa Cooper's not here to do it.
• Beav with his cymbals. His facial expressions are priceless.
• Cappie: "Now, Mykonos, who knows where it's at?"
• Rebecca: "Frannie took care of her."
  Ash: "Did Frannie kill her? Because that would really help us."
• Casey: "And all that plan got Jerry Maguire was a goldfish and Renee Zellweger, and we don't want either of those."
• Calvin: "Do you have a crush on him?"
  Rusty: "I have a Rush crush."
• Rusty: "So he did say something about me after the lake."
• Wade: "Just testing out the new cleaver."
• I would not stand that close to Cappie while he's holding a chainsaw.
• Evan: "Hey, Rus, I just wanted to say, no hard feelings."

  Rusty: "No, they're still hard...my feelings."
• I don't think Evan even cares anymore. He's heading straight toward Kappa Tau territory.
• Casey: "I'm responsible for our first D+."

  Ash: "Well, if it makes you feel better, it's not my first one..."
• Casey: "That brush was from Titanic. She paid a fortune for it on eBay."
• Cappie: "We just wanted to keep out heart rate up for when your mom comes in town. Seriously, she's foxy."
• Wade drives a Miata? Maybe he has a trust fund and can pay for Mykonos.
• Oh, Betsy. Even you should know not to trust Frannie.
• Aww, Wade's cleaver gimmick didn't work.
• The Sisterhood of the Traveling ZBZ Pants. Ha!
• Awesome time slot rival joke about Gossip Girl:

  Casey: "I wanted to be Heidi Klum again. Now I have to be freaking Blake Lively."

  Ash: "At least you're blond. How's anyone supposed to know I'm America Ferrera?"
• Wow, Cappie is really married to this karmic synergy philosophy, isn't he?
• Cappie: "And that's something we'll never know, like what hot dogs are made of, how Smurfs reproduce..."
• Ash is wearing the Ugly Betty Guadalajara poncho! Ha! And I gotta say that Casey's Blake Lively imitation ain't bad. The long, curly hair and the low cut top are pretty on-target.
• Calvin is so evolved. He just wants Andy to be happy.
• Awesome inside joke about Michael Rady (Max):

  Pledge girl: "And the guy who plays Kostas, so hot!"

  Casey: "Eh."

  Ash: "I wouldn't kick him out of bed."
• Frannie: "Are you two defecting to my sorority or just crossing the border?"
• Rebecca: "Oh my God, I'm 19! I'm not Sydney freaking Bristow!" (And that's at least Greek's second Alias reference.)
• Rebecca is a pretty terrible mole though. You'd think she'd be better at this.
• Rebecca: "Oh, and I'm sorry about your roots."

  Casey: "That's ok, I know you didn't mean it."

  Rebecca: "No, I meant I'm sorry about them."
• Ash: "Oh great, little Debbie Gibson accepted our bid. That's nice."
• Rebecca stole Frannie's Titanic brush! Awesome. Ha! Casey brushing her hair with it to taunt Frannie was amusing.
• Rusty's still trying to make this "Andy-licious" thing happen? I think we've established that that one's not going to fly.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Privileged: Hidden Palms Reunion! (Seriously?)

Privileged: "About the Ripple Effect"

Raiding the cast of Hidden Palms, are we, Privileged? Does that seem like the best idea to anyone? Anyone? I'm all for employing Michael Cassidy, but I would have quit there. Now we've got Cliff's mom playing Megan's mom. And then there's the dude who was the AA sponsor guy on Hidden Palms hanging out in Lily's hair salon! Enough. If Johnny (Oliver from The O.C.) shows up, I'm turning this off.

Observations:

• Lily got married!? Holy heck.
• Sage: "Oh, you are an assortment of nuts."
• Rami: "I don't think he's that cute." (Me either.)
• Since it seems like all the existing magazines are folding or laying off workers, it's probably not the best time for Will's dad to be trying to start a new magazine (esp. one that sounds boring and like something Betty Suarez would come up with).
• Hey, look, it's Little Franco! (His name is Dave.) I can tell he's a Franco: he's a cutie and has an array of James-like mannerisms.
• Little Franco (about Titanic): "I loved that movie!"
  Sage: "You probably don't want to tell that to everyone."
• Is there a way that we could write Megan out of this show? Because she's driving me flippin nuts.
• Mandy and her no-crap attitude are kind of fun. She refuses to put up with anyone's B.S.
• Little Franco plays the French horn!
• Little Franco: "Hey, you know how when you play it, you stick your hand in the open end? Well, I used to hide Starburst in there..."
• Aww, Rose, forget about the cook guy; don't make Little Franco sad!
• Dude, Megan don't touch the restaurant's mints! Don't you remember the story Rory Gilmore told about the article she read about people touching the mints after they had gone to the bathroom but not washed their hands?! Urine mints, Megan! Eew!
• Charlie: "I'm not your problem, buddy! ...You do have a problem, and it's you."
• Yes, Charlie is so much better when he's not being whiny and pathetic.
• I gotta agree with Megan's mom's opinion about the philanthropist magazine being a snooze.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Premiere Week '08: The Office

The Office:

"Weight Loss"

How sweet was Jim's rest stop proposal to Pam (complete with quite the hot kiss)? It's a testiment to this show that it can offer up some of the funniest material on television one minute and then conjure up a scene of real, genuine emotion the next. And its sweetness is never forced or heavy-handed (like Ugly Betty's premiere episode was).

This wasn't the funniest episode of The Office ever ("The Injury"), but it still had plenty of great moments:

• Ha! They're purposely eating lots of food before the contest starts so that they'll have more weight to lose.
• Jim can't believe that Michael doesn't say "That's what she said" after Dwight said "Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow."
• Wow! Look at young Stanley!
• For an HR rep, Holly's not very politically correct, what with her lesbian jokes and all.
• I love that Holly still thought that Kevin was mentally challenged and got all upset when Angela called him an idiot.
• Michael: "Do you know what the number 1 cause of death in this country is?"
  Dwight: "Shotgun weddings."
• Jim: "Beer me five!" (That was a blast from the past.)
• Angela demanding to get married in a 1,000-year-old church in the continental United States.
• Andy is being soooooooooooooo sweet to Angela. Why? Why? Why?
• Kelly: "I swallowed a tapeworm last night."
• Ryan! I thought he was in jail. Ahahaha! He's the new receptionist!
• Jim's insistance on pointing out that Ryan's new-found devotion to community service is court-mandated.
• Andy: "This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I haven't had a very hard life!"
• Ryan: "I wanted to saw I'm sorry for how I treated you the past two years. I was in my mid-20s...I don't think I ever really processed 9/11..."
• Oh no, the guy from Mad Men is kind of adorable... Don't stray, Pammy!
• Oscar and Dwight doing the Michael Klump impression too.
• Michael: "What makes her beautiful?"
  Ryan: "Everything. She's perfect." (I have never heard Ryan say anything so sweet!)
• Andy: "Andy Bernard does not lose contests--he wins them...or quits them because they're unfair."
• Oh no--Angela not accepting Andy's college a capella group performing at the wedding is a deal breaker!
• Stanley: "I'm going to take five days off anyway."
• Gasp! Toby! He broke his neck! Oh nooooo, poor Toby! He just can't catch a break.

Premiere Rating: 7.0/10

(photo: nbc.com)

Premiere Watch '08: Ugly Betty

Ugly Betty:

"The Manhattan Project"

Hmm, well, this wasn't my favorite episode of Ugly Betty ever. Probably because it focused so much on Betty, and she's become my least favorite part of the show. And because it was also so sappy.

I was literally gagging during Betty's conversation with Ignacio towards the end of the episode ("Growing up...that's what you're doing right now."). The episode was trying to be heartfelt, but it came off as heavy-handed and repetitious. If this it the kind of TV America Ferrera likes, no wonder she thinks Gossip Girl is too "mean." Frankly, as far as TV shows go, I'll take mean over sappy. It's far more entertaining.

Also, I guarantee you that Blair Waldorf is 30 times smarter than Betty Suarez. Renting an apartment, sight unseen? Seriously? What does a show featuring a young woman making such a silly decision teach girls? Gossip Girl might be mean, but at least its heroine isn't a freaking moron.

It was downright impressive how fast Betty dispatched both Henry AND Gio. (Boy, hasn't the main-character-has-a-choice-between-two-love-interests-but-picks-neither storyline become a cliche on TV these days?) Not that getting rid of them both in the first 2 minutes wasn't absolutely the right thing for the show to do, but dispatching so much of what last season was all about so quickly smacks of an admission that last season was a big waste of our time.

Other thoughts:

• Justin: "I was trying to put the 'U' in 'uniform'."
• "Kimmie" isn't very good at putting 2 and 2 together; I assume Betty's dad happened to mention the name of his daughter if he told her all those other things about Betty. And she should know his last name if she's his boss. Thus, put the first name with that last name, and there you go: Betty Suarez. I think perhaps Kimmie's lack of problem-solving skills might explain why she's hit this dead-end time in her life.
• The song they were playing when Betty first walked into the Player magazine office was soooo a Dick Casablancas song. Is it the one he played while ghost riding his car (and running over his foot)?
• One of Wilhelmina's favorite things is "Karl Rove." Ha, two funny Karl Rove allusions in one week.
• That apartment is huge! It must cost $4,000+ a month to rent that thing in Manhattan!
• The best part of Ugly Betty is when Marc and Willy just stand around and give each other evil looks.
• Amanda: "Marc wanted to see all the girls in bikinis."
• Hilda: "If push comes to shove, I'm ready to kick her ass. I've got my big ring on."
• Betty blowing a rape whistle when opening her apartment door on the intruders.

Premiere Rating: 4.0/10

(photo: ABC)

Thursday Night Highlights

Ugly Betty: "Burning Questions"

I can't think of any particular one-liners that I loved, (at least not as much as last week's "We want her to be crazy, not thin and crazy!") but I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. Daniel's dream sequence of Betty being in love with him was funny.

30 Rock: "Sandwich Day"

Kenneth: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for a good man to stand by and do nothing."

Tracy: "Please ask my permission before you quote me, Kenneth."

Liz: "I'll move to Cleveland when you get that IKEA... Never!"

I liked how last year's episode about Cleveland made it out to be a mythical, wonderful place, where as this episode made it seem a lot less cool.

Also, how cool/funny/weird is it that Liz Lemon got her hands on the same dress that Cameron Diaz just wore to her movie premiere?

Grey's Anatomy: "Piece of My Heart"

I thought the first two post-strike episodes were both pretty good. George and his funny comments were the highlights of the first ep. I was glad to see Izzy realizing how ridiculous she's become in the second ep. Also liked Bailey telling Alex to stuff his feelings back inside. I'm intrigued by what crazy, non-pregnant Ava is up to. I'm glad Meredith is (finally) seeing a therapist.

As for Addison, I could not care less that "it is killing her" that Meredith has let "Addison's husband" get away. I stopped caring about Addison's feelings when she moved to L.A. and started dancing naked around her house.

By far the highlight of these two eps (and the whole darn season of Grey's as far as I'm concerned) was this exchange, which reminded me how seriously funny this show can be.

Callie: "Does anyone ever think you two are a couple?"

Meredith: "No, because we screw boys like whores on tequila."

Christina: "And then we either try to marry them or drown ourselves."

(photo: nbc.com)

Premiere Watch '07: Round Up!!!

Well, I'm exhausted. Who knew that blogging about television could be so tiring ;-) It sure didn't help matters that there are now about a billion shows that I wanted to a least sample this season. Here are my rankings for the first episodes of almost everything a whole lot of new and returning shows (scale of 1 to 10):

Pilots:

• Pushing Daisies...............9.5
• Reaper..............................8.5
• Chuck...............................8.0
• Gossip Girl.......................7.5
• Dirty Sexy Money..........7.0
• Samantha Who?..............7.0
• Aliens in America............7.0
• Moonlight.........................6.5
• Kid Nation........................6.5
• Private Practice...............5.0
• Big Shots...........................2.5
• Viva Laughlin...................1.0

Returning Series:

• The Office.........................8.0
• 30 Rock.............................8.0
• Ugly Betty.........................7.5
• Grey's Anatomy...............7.0
• Brothers and Sisters........6.0
• Men In Trees....................6.0
• Heroes................................5.5
• Desperate Housewives....5.0

Whew. It seems like no sooner did we wade through all the premieres, than it's time for November Sweeps! Oh well, bring on the weddings, births, deaths, surprise pregancies, etc....

Thursday TV: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, ABBA, etc.

Highlights from another funny night of Thursday television:
Ugly Betty:
Season 2, Episode 3

Amanda maintained that that if she and Daniel are half-siblings, them having sex was only wrong half of the time.

Stressed-out Henry yelled at Mark and Amanda, garnering an unintended response:
Amanda:"Did he just get really hot?"
Marc:"I've never been more attracted to someone in my whole life."

Daniel tried teaching Justin to play basketball: "Ok, let's try again. Maybe lose the bracelets, I don't know."


The Office: "Launch Party"
I enjoyed the group's avid interest in seeing whether the little box that moves around in the screen saver ever actually goes into the corner of the screen. I've definitely watched for that before too.

And, there's something so right in the world when Andy Bernard sings ABBA (with back-up singers via speakerphone no less). Angela should lock that down ;-)


30 rock: "Jack Gets in the Game"
Jack: "Oh, come on, what are we, back at college freshman year? Let's go to the common room and talk about Apartheid."

The Best Tracy Moment is a tie between his belief that his vanity license plate, "ICU81MI," is "hilarious," and the clip from his novelty party song, "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" (ha ha, "boys becoming men / men becoming wolves!").

Liz was also great in this episode, with: "You can't be a real women in this country. It's like those dove commercials never happened!" and defending Jenna's talent, saying, "This woman was a Mouseketeer, ma'am."

Thursday Recap

Ugly Betty:
Another good episode. The best part was when Wilhelmina confronted Betty on the roof and Mark was making thunder noise with the metal sheet. Ha!

Other highlights:

• Mark: "Yeah, yeah, and I wish I knew Marlon Brando before he was fat." (Me too.)
• Christina: "Ten bucks says there's a coat in there made of dalmatian puppies."
• Since when does Bradford attend the Luke Danes School of Postponing Your Wedding To Reconnect with Your Long-Lost Daughter?

The Office: "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"
I loved this episode even more than last week's! I take back what I said about hour-long episodes of The Office...I enjoyed every second of this one. So many highlights:

• Can't believe Toby spilled the beans on Jim and Pam. He's so vengeful ;-)
• Dwight: "I don't see it. I think they both could do better."
• Michael: "All grown up and no place to go."
• Jim and Pam are still way too cute to stand. Air high-fives for crying out loud!
• Phyllis: "I couldn't see your hands."
• Jan and Ryan's little showdown. (Jan: "I love the beard; keep it forever.")
• Kelly telling Ryan she's pregnant. Ohhh, Kelly...
• Mr. Dunder is Uncle Mickey from DooL! Ha, and Mr. Mifflin killed himself.
• Michael and Dwight driving into the lake was hilarious! Dwight: "It can't mean that! That's a lake! There's no road here!"
• Ryan asking Pam out, saying, "Wear something nice." Pam turning him down and Jim's little wave when they were talking about him.
• Michael: "WHERE ARE THE TURLES?!"
• Michael: "I drove into a [bleeping] lake! Why? Because a machine told me to. A machine told me to drive in a lake and I did it."

Grey's Anatomy:
This episode was decidedly better than last week's premiere. There were, after all, no deer for Izzie to defibrillate.

I thought that the crystal meth baby storyline was particularly affecting, especially because it allowed us to see Alex Karev, champion of all babies, back in action. I hope that Grey's doesn't forget that he was heading toward switching his specialty from plastics to neonatal surgeries. Unfortunately, that storyline, which I really liked, becomes a lot less manageable now that Addison is gone. Anyway, I thought he did a great job diagnosing what was wrong with the baby, although I wonder how he knew what crystal meth smells like. And, dare I say it, I might be coming around to the horrendous facial hair.

It was also nice to see that Marissa Cooper's yard boy is still finding work. I thought his performance as the "I'm not that guy" drug addict was very good. I never cease to be astounded when "D.J." shows up on other things and is actually a pretty good actor, because those scenes between him and Mischa were freaking painful on The O.C.

And, I'd be remiss to not celebrate the guest appearance of Ben Vereen, whom I have loved since I was about two years old and an avid fan of Zoobilee Zoo.

What irked me (and only me, from what I can tell from reading critics and other blogs) was Mama Burke's omniscient observations about everyone who stopped to talk to her. First of all, she was out of line dressing down Meredith for what she said when announcing that Burke and Christina's wedding was off. Look, lady, if your son leaves his fiancee at the alter when the whole wedding was completely his idea, then he has coming to him whatever her best friend feels like saying. And I was also bothered that she seemed to instantly ascertain Derek and George's romantic situations...especially since I'm still not entirely sure what their problems are.

Premiere Watch '07: Ugly Betty

Starting off the Betty review with some highlight bullets:

• The telenovela sequence in the beginning was funny.
• Justin looks much more than three weeks older.
• I like Yoga: "Everyone thinks I'm the maid. Or Gayle King."
• Hmm, I could have done without the oppressive Victoria Secret product placement that never seemed to end.
• Um, I think that Amanda would prefer not to be related to her parents. They're creepy :-)
• Eeeew, Amanda did sleep with Daniel! That totally didn't even occur to me when Mark first suggested that Bradford is her dad. Gross! I love that Amanda pointed out: "That's the kind of dirty that doesn't wash clean." Poor girl.
• Santos: "Man, the hooker had her baby kidnapped and now she has Tetanus? That's a bad Monday."
• "Dadford." Ha!
• Wilhelmina: "N. I don't have the energy to say 'no' anymore."
• Wilhelmina: "Is it just me, or does anyone else see the little fashion elf?"
• Wow, Willy's too smart. She didn't fall for Claire ploy for a second. Wilhelmina should hang out with Patty Hewes--the two of them would take over the world!
• Mark: "You? I may never be able to watch The Sound of Music again!"
• Oops. Alex(is) doesn't remember (s)he's a girl now. That's interesting.
• Aww, Santos is so hot; why does he have to be the one who is dead?
• Henry looks pretty good for having just taken the bus all the way from Arizona to NYC.

Good episode. Much better in my opinion than the overly dramatic Season 1 finale. I liked the Mark/Amanda stuff, and any time Wilhelmina and Justin get together is awesome. Also, Daniel seems to be making some solid progress, which is good.

But, wow, poor Santos. The scene where it is confirmed (I already had it figured out) that he's actually dead and Hilda's daydreaming was heartbreaking. Definitely the saddest moment I've seen on TV in a while. Poor Hilda. She and Santos finally got it together and now look what's happened.

What bothered me was that in the scene where Betty was comforting Hilda, she was seemingly equating Hilda's loss of Santos with her "loss" of Henry. Not the same, Betty. Hilda has a kid with Santos and was just about to marry him. You flirted with Henry occasionally at work. Santos was brutally killed in a robbery. Henry moved away with his pregnant girlfriend. Betty has reason to be sad, but her situation is no where near as tragic as Hilda's. Move on, babe.

Speaking of moving on, didn't it seem weird that Justin appeared to be totally over the death of his father after only three weeks? I know they weren't super close, but still. He was far more upset about the craft projects at his summer camp than he was about he dead father.

Premiere Rating: 7.5 / 10

The Best of the 2006-2007 TV Season!!!

Most Shocking Moments:
"Through the Looking Glass" Lost -- We find out that Jack and Kate both make it off the island in a "game-changing" flash forward.

"In or Out" Ugly Betty -- The mysterious veiled figure is revealed to be not Fey Sommers as expected, but Alex Meade, post gender reassignment surgery!

Funniest Moments:
"The Return" The Office -- Jim and Pam hide Andy's cell phone in the ceiling, causing him to freak out and punch the wall. "That.....was an over-reaction." Yes, Andy Bernard, but it was a hilarious over-reaction.

"Beach Games" The Office -- Andy Bernard falls into the river wearing a blow-up sumo wrestling suit and floats away. Physical comedy at it's best.

"Gay Witch Hunt" The Office -- In the season three pilot, we see a quick flash of Roy's DUI mugshot... and he's a huge mess.

"Swag" Ugly Betty -- When Bradford finds out that Wilhelmina has been charging personal expenses to the magazine like, say, her "butt lift," she responds, "Well, good luck returning my ass!"

Funniest Characters:
Andy Bernard, The Office -- He's just a Cornell graduate trying to take over the world using three sure-fire tactics: name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a hand shake. As he is responsible for two of my Funniest Moments of the season, it doesn't take a degree from Cornell to conclude that Andy belongs in this category.

Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock -- I have an unnatural love for Tracy Morgan. Everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious, including: his belief that vampires are the best golfers but we'll never know it, his admission that he steals dogs and does the robot backwards into Starbucks, his discovery of anagrams, and "the manatee becomes the mentor."

Justin and Marc, Ugly Betty -- Both the youth who loves jazz hands and the cattiest personal assistant at Mode stole every scene they were in this season.

Dick Casablancas, Veronica Mars -- It's funny. In college I came across literally hundreds (perhaps thousands) of boys who act just like Dick Casablancas and couldn't stand them at all. Yet I love this guy. I love how he's an unapologetic himbo and always ready and willing to say something wildly inappropriate. How amusing people like this are when you personally don't have to deal with them.

Best Performances in a Drama:
Ellen Pompeo, Grey's Anatomy -- Although her acting chops aren't usually the ones people mention when talking Grey's, Ellen really brought it this season. She was especially fantastic in the episode where Ellis miraculously becomes lucid. Watching the look on Meredith face when her mother complains that she's ordinary is like getting kicked in the stomach and Pompeo nailed the confrontational speech and subsequent realization that her mother's Alzheimer's is back. And, showing her range, pre-appendectomy drugged-up Meredith was a riot early in the season and a breath of fresh air in the over-drama that was the third season of Grey's.

T.R. Knight, Grey's Anatomy -- T.R. may not have had the best material to work with this season (even though he leveraged his gayness to get better plots according to Crazy Isaiah Story #3), but he absolutely nailed what he got. His ability to thrive in the extremely drawn-out story line about Burke's hand and the torturous Gizzie scenes proves his value to this show.

Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters -- We like her! We really, really like her! Sally was spot-on throughout the season as Nora, the glue that held the Walkers and this show together. She excelled in both the dramatic moments of dealing with her late-husband's infidelity (the late-night swim comes to mind) and the comedic moments (like the food fight with the mistress) that were my favorite part of the show.

Best Episodes:
"Spit and Eggs" Veronica Mars -- Veronica solves the case and quickly becomes the target of the psycho-villain. It's a cliche on this show for a reason. Making this time even more exciting, Veronica ran frantically down a hallway to dance music, a la vintage Alias. If only all rapists got stabbed by a unicorn horn. Add a crazy Piznarski dance, Wallace talking about "pity balloons," some classic Mac, and Logan smashing a cop car to get in jail to beat the living daylights out of Mercer and you've got one of the best hours of TV this year.

"The Bitch is Back" Veronica Mars -- "After all these years, do you not instinctively fear me?" Veronica asks, and if we didn't, we sure do now. Do not mess with V. In the series' last ep, Veronica goes after the people who posted a sex tape of her on the web, and with friends like Wallace, Weevil, and Logan to mess up cars, go undercover into secret societies, and punch mobsters, she's going to take the bad guys down. And don't forget Keith, whose attempt to cover for his daughter results in the two of them becoming the outcasts they were when the series began. That's called coming full circle, kids, but it's a shame that the CW canceled this amazing show with so much story left to tell.

"Through the Looking Glass" Lost -- It's a flash forward! Whoa! And even though Future Jack seems even more depressed that Present Jack and Past Jack, this episode was one of the best of the year thanks to Sayid snapping an Other's neck with his feet, Hurley and his van saving the day, Sawyer avenging Walt, Charlie's Alias Season 1 finale-esque drowning, the obscured newspaper clipping, the funeral parlor anagram, the mystery man in the coffin, and Kate and Jack's clandestine meeting. Oh, the Alice in Wonderland reference in the episode title is pretty darn cool too.

"Company Man" Heroes -- Heroes really found its stride in this episode, narrowing its focus to the events taking place in the Bennet house as several heroes clash together. Some Lost-style story telling gives us new insights into Noah Bennet's character and he has the Haitian erase his memory to protect Claire Bear.

"The End's Not Near, It's Here" The O.C. -- I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The O.C. rocked it's series finale. The saying good-bye to the Cohen house, the Seth/Ryan hug, the new baby Cohen, the new old house in Berkeley, the few acknowledgements that Marissa Cooper existed and that we loved her, the Julie Cooper college graduation, the Seth/Summer wedding, and the architect Ryan helping out a kid all combined for the perfect ending to one of the coolest shows ever.

Best New Shows:
Heroes, Men In Trees, 30 Rock

Best Comedy:
The Office

Season Finales, Season Finales Everywhere!

Grey's Anatomy:
Wow. This sure was one depressing hour and fifteen minutes. Where along the line did the people at Grey's get the impression that in order for a season finale to be good, horrible things must happen to all of the characters. Seriously, not a single person escaped this monsoon of badness. They might as well have had all the characters stand in a row and have people throw things at them :-)

Burke, Steamy, and Addison didn't get the chief job (and they all kind of got insulted in the process); George failed his test; Bailey didn't get chief resident; Alex realized his love for Ava about a half hour too late; George snubbed Izzy (yet again. Get some self respect, Izz); Derek and Meredith careened toward a break-up for no real discernible reason; Burke didn't marry Christina and disappeared; Adele lost her baby.

Actually, about the happiest thing that happened was that Adele losing the baby brought her and Chief Richard back together again...and miscarriages are not happy, folks. And those hikers...why were they even still around? And, better question, why was Derek interrogating them instead of the police? I love that his holier-than-thou attitude now qualifies him to be a detective. Can you tell that the doctor formerly known as McDreamy is on my last nerve?

Oh! Oh! Oh! I almost forgot about him telling Meredith that she should be worried that his flirtation with Bar Slut/Reunion girl/Mere's little sister was the highlight of his week! It is such a shame that Meredith was so wrapped up with the death of her stepmom, her best friend's wedding, and the most important test of her internship that she neglected her duty to entertain Derek! Poor, poor Derek. Perhaps Meredith should hire a clown to follow him around and keep him amused.

And speaking of whiny, middle-aged men....Burke does not get to leave Christina at the alter! The whole thing was his freakin idea!

One more thing that I didn't like about the episode was that the scene where Christina freaks out in her wedding dress looked exactly like Carrie Bradshaw's SATC wedding-dress-inspired panic attack.

Another thing that sucked was that the National Inquirer or whoever published all those Grey's spoilers turned out to be alarmingly accurate... so none of this crappy stuff was even a surprise.

Oh well, let's just hope that next season is better.

The Office:
Jam is on!!!!!!! Does anything else matter?

It's been days and I'm still glowing about "Pam, are you free for dinner tonight?" It's about freaking time, Halpert and Beasley. Now, let's just hope that next season we don't back track on the Jam like we did this year. I mean, honestly I thought Jam was on last year after the hot-office-Casino-Night kiss, but it clearly was not. This time, let's hope it sticks. I do feel a bit for Karen, but clearly Jim and Pam are made for each other...and Scranton (ouch, that part sounds like an insult). And Karen could be a bit of a jerk (telling Jim his hair made him look homeless, ordering Pam to photocopy their sales reports).

Poor Michael. Now he's stuck with crazy unemployed Jan living in his condo. Seriously, though, was Jan always this nuts and we just didn't realize it because she wasn't around that often and compared to Michael, no one is crazy? Or is it new? Because I never realized she was this deranged. I mean, dating Michael was certainly a tip off to some sort of mental instability...

And how cool was the "game changer"? (I love that The Office has stolen that terminology from the overly self-important Losties.) Ryan the temp is in charge! Good for him. See, getting that MBA does pay off.

And, of course, the episode was funny:

• Dwight's reign of terror, complete with soil lectures and "Schrute Bucks" (and now, thankfully, we know that the correct ratio of Schrute Bucks to Stanley Nickels is the same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns).
• Pam getting to be the secret Assistant to the Regional Manager for a morning.
• Creed's "blog" a.k.a. a word document with a URL address typed at the top.
• Michael calling his decision to take back the bigger-breasted Jan "emotionally magnificent."
• Jim wanting to see the U.N. building while in New York and saying the last time he was in the Big Apple was a sixth grade field trip. Now that is just too freaking cute.
• Andy working in a little more Cornell bragging. I'm never going to be able to take anything involving Cornell seriously again :-)
• Oh and Beasley so totally pulls her comedic weight. Her "Maybe I'll find my own Karen" monologue ending with a slightly panicked "I'm not gay!" proclamation was adorable.

But, of course, what really matters is that Jam is on! Did I mention that?

Ugly Betty:

Ok, since when does UB get its plotlines from Days of Our Lives? It kind of seemed like they wanted something big and splashy for the finale, but couldn't quite come up with anything, so just threw in every somewhat trite storyline they could think of. Did Santos really need to be shot in a random convenience store hold up? Did Amanda suddenly need to be Fey's daughter? Did Henry's ex need to be knocked up? And, um, didn't Gilmore Girls do that whole storyline in season two? And didn't they do it a heck of a lot better?

Random question: Even provided that Alexis is so stupid that she didn't realize that after putting out a hit on Bradford, his car might not be the best vehicle to use to take her brother to the hospital, why, why, why does taking Daniel from the Mode office in midtown Manhattan to a hospital require her to drive on a very twisty road through a secluded forest? Are there not hospitals in Manhattan? Because there totally are.

Sweeps!

Television Sweeps is my favorite holiday. What other holiday is so awesome that it happens four times a year? And last night marked the beginning of May Sweeps 2007 (although yesterday was definitely still in April...I don't get it). I do tend to enjoy February Sweeps better than May Sweeps though, because with the May episodes comes the dreaded realization that these episodes are the last ones before another long, starved summer. But Sweeps are Sweeps and I'm still crazy excited!

Ugly Betty:
I honestly didn't make it the whole way through the episode yet. I watched the first half, and then took one look at Jim's Dwight impersonation and had to switch channels. It didn't help that I'm completely sick of Betty, Daniel, Hilda, Amanda, Willie, Alexis...... What I did really enjoy from last night was the flashback to Betty's anti-prom. Betty's pre-braces teeth were hysterical! They were gigantic! I laughed every time she opened her mouth--it didn't matter what she was saying.

The Office:
Jim's Dwight impersonation was fantastic. "Question! Which bear is best? False! The black bear." Oh, Jim Halpert, marry me. Please.

The first half of the episode was hilarious, especially the scene with everyone in the conference room: Pam intentionally prolonging the discussion about Michael's abbreviated speaking taking up extra time; Michael calling Ryan "sweet cheeks"; Andy's Dick-Van-Dyke-it's-a-jolly-'oliday-with-Mary-esque British accent followed by Jim's "I'm definitely going alone."

My only complaint is that I need some more Jam...as soon as possible. It's been almost a year since the kiss at Casino Night; it's time to make something happen, Beasley.

Grey's Anatomy:
"You're my penis fish." Wow. Just wow. If that doesn't become the next big TV-inspired catch-phrase, I don't know what will. It certainly could compete with, "Save the cheerleader. Save the world," by way of originality and versatility.

I do have to admit though that I am getting a little sick of how almost everyone who walks into Seattle Grace has one of the most bizarre medical conditions known to mankind. Conjoined adult twins, a pregnant man, a lady turning to stone, etc., etc., and now a penis fish? The O.C. was definitely on to something when Seth visited Seattle Grace and Dr. Roberts was called away because someone who appeared to be gorged by a unicorn was just brought in :-) Sigh. I miss The O.C.

Anyway, I realize that these medical conditions do/could actually exist, but the chances of all these people walking into the same hospital in the same city? Not good. And I find Grey's penchant for the absurd all the more unfortunate because I think that some of the most memorable and well written and acted patient stories are the more normal ones. The lady from Roseanne who was dying and gave her daughter life instructions comes to mind.

My other complaint was that this Addison stuff seemed to come on a bit fast. She had quite the day, what with finally ridding herself of Steamy, hooking up with Alex, getting 'dumped' by Alex, and deciding that she needs out of Seattle. Yikes. Very productive. Meanwhile, Christina and Burke, Izzy and George, and Meredith and Derek are all doing basically the same act they've done for weeks. Speaking of Derek, he is on my last nerve. He needs to suck it up. Yes, Meredith didn't swim, but she's changed. That's what that whole third part of the three-parter was about! He better watch it or pretty soon he'll have a new nickname like McWhiny or McMopey.

30 Rock:
Congrats to Tina Fey, etc. on finishing up a very solid first season! Tonight's episode was good--not my favorite ever though. The highlights for me were:

• Kenneth purposefully falling down the stairs so the EMTs would give Tracey a ride
• Liz and Frank (I think that's his name) asking the blond girl to dance in front of the band for like 10 minutes and then Jenna running up, saying, "I hear you're looking for people to dance in front of the band!"
• Tracey listing "having to brush your own teeth" as one of the pitfalls of not being famous
• Floyd marching the squirrel past his webcam while talking to Liz

I also found some uncomfortable similarities between the scene where Liz and Jack were yelling at Kenneth and Alec's now-legendary phone call with his daughter.

I'm bummed that Liz and Floyd are packing it in, but I guess the show is best when Liz is a romantically pathetic workaholic. And it's hard for a girl to complete with 'the Cleve'... I'm excited to see what Tina, etc. will have in store for us next season. (Yea for a good, quality show getting renewed!)