Updated--My Take On Emmy Nominations

Last week, I was kind enough to take a break from obsessively documenting the goings on of So You Think You Can Dance to compile a list of actors, presenters and shows who should have been nominated for Emmys. The official list of nominees was announced today, so let's see how well the people who pick the Emmy nominees did with following my directions...

Nominated:

Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad: Supporting Actor, Drama

Breaking Bad: Outstanding Drama Series

Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad: Lead Actor, Drama

Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?: Lead Actress, Comedy

Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory: Lead Actor, Comedy

Lost: Outstanding Drama Series

Michael Emerson, Lost: Supporting Actor, Drama

Rose Byrne, Damages: Supporting Actress, Drama

Steve Carell, The Office: Lead Actor, Comedy

Undeniably screwed over:

Cat Deeley, So You Think You Can Dance

January Jones, Mad Men

Snubbed:

Adam Baldwin, Chuck

B.J. Novak, The Office

Chi McBride, Pushing Daisies

Chuck

Gabrielle Anwar, Burn Notice

James Roday, Psych

Jennifer Esposito, Samantha Who?

Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies

Pushing Daisies

Zachary Levi, Chuck

I guess 9 out of 21 isn't too bad, as far as the Emmy nominations go. I was so appalled by the snub of January Jones though that I've been a bit soured toward the whole process. I mean, come on, if I had to pick the three actors who most deserved Emmy recognition for this year of television, she would definitely have been on that list. I will admit to doing a little happy dance for Aaron Paul and Breaking Bad though. And Jim Parsons was so cute this morning during the announcement when he realized he was nominated.

(photos: fox.com; amctv.com)

Breaking Bad: Horrific Prefection

Breaking Bad:
"ABQ"

OMFG, Breaking Bad's season 2 finale was phenomenal. The second-to-last episode ended with Walt's horrifying decision to not help Jane as she choked to death in her sleep, and the season finale kept the WTF moments coming. The shockers were relentless: from Gus touring the police station to Skyler catching Walt in his lies and kicking him out to the terrifying revelation that the now infamous pink teddy bear fell from the sky after an airplane collision that was caused (albeit inadvertently) by Walt's actions.

Breaking Bad has always lived in the world of moral grayness and ambiguity. With this finale, however, the show moved further into the dark end of the morality spectrum than it ever has before. The show has extensively explored the dangerous nature of drug dealing for the novice dealers, but in our eagerness to see Walt and Jesse succeed and make boatloads of money, we sometimes lose sight of how destructive the drugs they are selling can be. Example A: Jane, who all in all seemed like a sweet girl and was dearly loved by her father and Jesse (and had a tremendously awesome mural on her bedroom wall), dies from choking on her own vomit after a drug binge. Her death leaves Jesse, one of our heroes (or anti-heroes), completely devastated and also leads to Example B: Jane's grief-stricken father, an air traffic controller, is driven to such distraction that he fails to prevent a collision between two airplanes above Albuquerque.

Wow, that plane crash. The source of the teddy bear, the glasses, the wallet and the other debris littering Walt's back and front yards. And the cause of probably upwards of a hundred deaths of innocent people (including the child owner of the pink bear). How can we justify what Walt has done in the face of all this destruction? What started out as a dying man willing to do anything to provide for his family has resulted in a series of progressively horrible events. Walt is already racked with guilt--imagine how he will feel when he finds out about what caused the plane crash. Even aside from all of the collateral damage, has any of this worked out for Walt at all? He beat cancer (for now anyway), but he lost his family anyway.

It's all so bleak. The one heartening moment in the finale came when Walt hunted Jesse down and went into the crack den (is that what that freaky place was?) to save him. Jesse's raw grief was devastating, and it was nice to see Walt vow to help him. If nothing else good has come from any of this, at least these two men have formed an indelible bond.

The up-shot of it all: Breaking Bad should win the Emmy for Best Drama Series. I've watched Mad Men, Lost, Damages, and a myriad of other shows, and nothing has been as consistently stellar this season as Breaking Bad. Additionally, Bryan Cranston has made an extremely strong case for repeating his Best Actor win, and if Aaron Paul's brilliant work is not recognized with at least a Best Supporting Actor nomination, I may cry.

I, for one, am fascinated to see what season 3 will bring. Will a post-rehab Jesse still want to be involved in the drug trade after drugs led to the death of his girlfriend? Will Skyler find out the truth and how will she react? How will Walt come to terms with the fact that his quest for financial security has led to the deaths of so many people? Is there any redemption at all to be had here, or must we now just embrace the dark side?

(photo: amctv.com)

Gossip Girl: Waldorf Gone Wild

Gossip Girl:
"The Grandfather"

Well, tonight's episode of Gossip Girl got off to a bad start because my CW channel was showing it with the bottom 1/3 of the shot on the top of the screen and the top 2/3 of the shot on the bottom of the screen. That situation was completely unacceptable! Everyone looked like they'd been beheaded. (Not that it wasn't somewhat satisfying to see Dan and Vanessa's heads separated from their bodies...) Thankfully, around the time Nate was pow-wowing with his grandpa, the screen righted itself and viewing became much easier.

The episode also came to kind of bad end with this ridiculous Nate/Blair redux hook-up. But the stuff in the middle was ok.

Highlights, quotes and observations:

• Serena: "We just need to give her some time to lick her wounds."
  Chuck: "Maybe I can lick them for her."
• Oh, Lily and Rufus are still together? I'd forgotten about them.
• Rufus doesn't have anything in his dating history to be embarassed about? What about that 22-year-old (or whatever she was) that Rufus was dating last year (for like a week)?
• This weird split screen format is not the best way to showcase poor Chace Crawford's acting...
• I thought that Nate's grandpa might be Arsenault from Damages, but it looks like it's someone else. Too bad, because I bet some Arsenault-style anecdotes would quickly liven up this Vanderbilt reunion.
• Why would Blair ask Carter about his role in the kidnapping for the secret gentlemen's club incident? She's lucky she didn't have to watch that stupid storyline in the first place; there's no need to relive it!
• These Vanderbilts are big on the collared shirt/sweater look, aren't they? Every single one of them is wearing it.
• Blair: "I was such a over-achiever, I was headed for a quarter-life crisis at 18."
• Um, yeah, Blair, that quarter-life crisis? You're already having it.
• Serena: "It's going to take him 20 minutes to get through the '90s alone!"
• Um, no, Lily, you didn't find yourself saying "yes to lists"--it was your freaking idea.
• Serena: "I think you should take a peak has his little black book before you drop the yellow pages on him."
• MGMT's "Kids"! This song is soooo Spring 2008. Lol.
• Nate would make such a crappy politician. Or, well, I guess the standards aren't really that high for politicians...
• Um, trust me, cousin's fiancee, I don't think Vanessa's going to be around for the next 30 years.
• Carter: "What's this? Good cop, Bass cop?"
• What did happen in Santorini? Carter is pretty freaking scared of whatever it is.
• Serena sure got rid of Carter fast. Could she do us all a favor and focus her powers on getting rid of Vanessa now?
• How tiny did Rufus write on that index card? I could fill an index card with the names of the people he's dated in just the last year and a half.
• The Lily/Trent Reznor thing resurfaces...
• Dan: "Turned out to be less Gatsby, more Fight Club."
• Chuck: "We're not going to play Where's Waldorf all night!"
• At least Nate's not named Tripp (like his cousin). So he has that going for him.
• Nate and Vanessa are going to Europe this summer (for Summer Pierogi Tour '09)? Who knew?
• Chuck: "Great, it looks like Polanski's in town."
• Eew, why did Blair go to Nate's family reunion? To insult people? Whatever floats your boat, Waldorf...
• Is Blair's lack of a headband a sign that she's given up?
• Blair: "Hey! You! Garcon with the bubble butt!"
• Two days ago Nate was "so excited" about this Europe trip? Really? We were supposed to gather that from the one comment he made about the pierogi?
• Chuck (to the guy who made his money from adult web sites): "Sorry, everyone. Big fan of your site."
• Well, Blair's life might not be perfect anymore, but her lipstick still is.
• Serena slapped Dan on account of the teacher/costume closet sex incident? I didn't know she cared. And I didn't know she didn't know about it. I mean, he announced it to Blair and a room full of people last week. How did Gossip Girl not find out about that and post it?
• I do like Serena's flat-ironed hair.
• It's way past time to cut Vanessa loose, Nate. Just do it.
• Hmm, Nate is displaying promise as a politician. I guess C students (with drug histories) really do make the best politicians?
• I'm all for the Nate/Vanessa split, but does that mean that Blair has to take him? Nooooo. We've been there (at least twice) before.
• Too bad Nate has such a recognizable jacket...

(photo: cwtv.com)

Breaking Bad: Meth Madness

Breaking Bad:

"Seven Thirty-Seven"

Yea! I'm glad this show is back; it's so flipping awesome. I watched and loved it last year (but never got around to blogging about it for some reason). Bryan Cranston winning the Best Actor in a Drama category at the Emmys was definitely one of the highlights of the awards ceremony for me (the others being Zeljko Ivanek winning Best Supporting Actor for Damages and Mad Men taking Best Drama. I also think that Aaron Paul deserved a nomination.). Geez, cable dramas are good.

In fact, I wonder if Breaking Bad isn't overall the best show on television (Steven King thinks it is). It certainly has got to be in the top five. It's amazing how quickly it can go from being completely devastating one second to absolutely hilarious the next and then right back to devastating. I mean, this show is grim. There's no way to deny that, but it also includes these moments of comic genius that break the tension for one quick beat. One I remember in particular was when Walt told Jesse that they'd need an eye-wash station in the RV where they were going to cook meth. I mean, does it get more high school chemistry teacher than that? It's these moments of unexpected, dark humor that keep us viewers from exploding from the stress or running screaming from the room.

This particular episode, however, was more terrifying that humorous (although that "rice 'n beans" joke was hysterical). Like seriously terrifying. As in, I'm a little scared to go to bed tonight, and Tuco doesn't know what I live. And that stuffed bear is going to haunt me. Holy crap.

Highlights and observations:

• Oh my gosh. That is easily the creepiest looking stuffed animal I have ever scene. That thing is terrifying.
• Oh, yeah, I forgot about the blue meth. (Wait, of course I forgot about it--this show hasn't been on for a freaking year.)
• After an impressive display of mental math, Walt figures out that he needs to leave his family $737,000 to take care of their major future needs. That amounts to eleven more weeks of cooking meth and eleven more drug deals with Tuco, which Walt decides is "definitely doable."
• One minute later, Tuco comes back because the guy he just beat up is now dead. He expects Walt to fix it, but come on: he's a science teacher, not a doctor! This is one crazy-ass drug deal. Tuco is beyond nuts. Eleven more drug deals with Tuco is suddenly not seeming "doable" at all.
• I like their green nursery.
• Well, I can understand why Jesse might think that he needs a gun to make it through 11 more Tuco deals, but I don't think it's going to help.
• Walt: "This is conjecture."
• Jesse: "Are you basing that on that he's got like a normal healthy brain or something?"
• Wow, Walt and Jesse have gotten themselves into several "him or us" scenarios in a pretty short amount of time.
• How much Splenda can Marie drink in her coffee? And, holy crap, she just ran over the poor kid's remote control car! She is hanging on by a thread.
• Hank: "Try rolling it, morons! It's a barrel! It rolls!"
• Holy effing heck, that's Tuco's car at Walt's house!
• Ha! Skyler hung up on her sister! (I can't say that I blame her.)
• Jesse: "Don't we, like, double our chances...mathematically?"
• Walt: "I have a better idea: beans. Caster beans. ...We're going to process them into ricin."
  Jesse: "Rice 'n beans."
• Ohhhh, I forgot about the tiara incident.
• Maybe Hank will look the other way if he finds out about Walt's drug dealing since he looks the other way on his wife's shoplifting.
• Hank: "We've got to be understanding. We've got to support the shit out of her."
• I think Jesse is too involved with this ricin making. I wouldn't really trust that job to him.
• Walt: "How much salesmanship to we really need? That degenerate snorts anything he gets his hands on."
• Oh my gosh--I thought Hank blew up Walt's house or something since he called with the flashing police lights behind him. I totally fell for that fake out.
• Ack! Tuco killed the big guy (Gonzo) too?
• Who takes a picture of two murder victims and sends it to his brother-in-law?
• Lock the door after you enter the house, Walt!
• Don't leave the money and the gun on the floor of the nursery in a diaper box!
• Wow, Hank and the other police people are jerks! Taking pictures with themselves and dead people? Ugh.
• OMFG. Tuco's in the back seat of Jesse's car! AHHHHHHHHHH--and that's the end of the episode! Since I'm watching this a couple weeks late, I do already have the next episode on tape and I want to watch it, but I don't think I'd be able to handle another hour of this right now. I think I'd better give myself some time to recover. I hope Walt and Jesse will be ok. Especially Jesse--I love that kid.
• So what the hell was up with that pink stuffed bear, anyway?

(photo: amctv.com)

Damages: Looking in Closets

Damages: "Uh Oh, Out Come the Skeletons"

Boy, could this episode title apply to every single episode of Damages ever!

The play-by-play:

• Nooooo, Ellen, don't go to Wes' up-state cabin!
• So what's the secret angle involving the FBI Agent #1's divorce? Because there's seriously something up with that.
• Whoa! FBI Agent #1 was watching Ellen's "6 month later" conversation with Patty! (And the subsequent gun shots!)
• I'm glad that the FBI guys don't understand this energy trading scheme either.
• So, Patty's son (Michael) didn't actually apply to colleges (I'm speculating on that one), and he has a secret girlfriend? I figured he had to be up to some shenanigans by now. The kid is trouble.
• Why do Stan and Walter always seem to meet in the bathroom?
• Um, is Claire showing a bit too much boob for a work function? She looks like freaking Serena van der Woodsen on a trip to Yale!
• Ahh, yes, Walt's integrity is just astounding.
• Holy moly, is that Michael's girlfriend? She's awesome!
• I thought "Pam's" phone voice sounded a little manly in that earlier scene. So what's this dude (FBI Agent #1) up to?
• Oh, yeah, I forgot that Ellen had the same mom at George O'Malley.
• Pathmark! They have those in Delaware! Where does Ellen's family live?
• You can't tell your employees to "live their lives on their own time" one second and then ask them personal questions the next, Patty!
• Phil: "So what are we thinking? Schizoid? Skinhead? Scientologist?"
• Holy crap, that's not the fun piercing girl! This lady's like 40! (Ph. D. in 1988? Is that what she said? That makes her, what, 45? She doesn't look 45. I hope I misheard.)
• At least Claire is displaying less cleavage for the lunch with her father. Well, marginally less cleavage anyway.
• If you're trying to pull something shady, you probably shouldn't live with another FBI agent.
• Who wants to know stuff about the Patty Hewes investigation? Is it Patty? Is that how she knew about the infant mortality case? I don't think she knew for sure what was up with that though. Maybe it's Tom? Holy crap, would it be nice to see Tom not just being Patty's doormat for once!
• Patty: "Mention that name to your boss, and whatever settlement figure he's authorized, tell him to triple it. Then we'll start boring each other from there." (Patty, being badass again.)
• Katie!!!!!
• Ellen sexed-up her hair to go out.
• Oh no, Drunk Ellen is bad news. It's nice to see her acting like something other than a balled-up wad of nerves for a change, but this is kind of a disaster.
• Wow, Daniel and Claire aren't as dumb as they look. They figured this whole energy trading scheme out extremely quickly. (And, added bonus, I now understand it too! Yea!)
• Thank goodness the only person who went home with Ellen was Katie! I love Katie's sweater.
• Don't talk to Katie, Ellen! I love the girl, but she has no filter! She just blurts out all the important secrets at the drop of a hat (like Amanda from Kyle XY).
• Well, if that wasn't a tacit admission from Walter that Aracite is toxic, I don't know what is.
• Ugh, Michael's lady friend (cougar) is annoying.
• Patty: "You will break his heart, and when you do, I'll rip your face off."
• Eeew! Who was the unfortunate sap who had to watch Claire and Daniel getting busy? Yucko.
• Oh dear, who were the people in the FBI Agent #2's house?
• Hey, Ellen, check in Wes' closet while you're there!
• It does sound like Ellen's rocking a southern accent in this scene (just like I thought last week when they showed the previews)! "I'm gonna lose my mind!" She sounds like Blanche DuBois!
• Well, it's not the end of the world that she's telling this to Wes, since he already knows it all anyway (more or less). If anything, it might score her some sympathy with him and make him less inclined to off her.
• Rick! Scruffy's name is Rick!
• Hmm, what did Wes do that Scruffy Rick knows about that would send him to jail for the rest of his life?
• So Stan is paying off FBI Agent #1 and killed FBI Agent #2? Who the hell is this guy, anyway?
• There goes my hope that Tom's not being a doormat for once...
• Ok.....Did Ellen shoot Patty but not thoroughly enough to prevent her from stumbling out to the elevator in a daze? Or did Ellen shoot somebody else whose blood Patty got on her hands before she stumbled out to the elevator? Oh, but in this episode before-the-theme-song clip, both Ellen and Patty confirm that it is "just the two of [them]" in the room. (Unless they're both trying to hide the presence of someone else...) This is soooooooo complicated. It's amazing how they can show you what happened, but you still don't know what the hell's going on.
• In any event, you gotta love the symmetry of Patty now ending up bloody in Ellen's elevator, as last season's iconic image was Ellen bloody in Patty's elevator.
• I'm confused about something else (HUGE understatement). Ellen was approached by the FBI before any of this UNR stuff existed. So the FBI was after Patty pre-UNR. Stan's interest seems to be with UNR. Was he paying off the FBI guy pre-Patty/UNR? Why did he want to see Patty go down before she even started messing with UNR?

Wow, there are only three more episodes left in this season! So something will start making sense soon, right? Nah, that's probably wishful thinking.

Gossip Girl: Damages

Gossip Girl:
"Carnal Knowledge"

After a second season full of many awesome episodes of Gossip Girl, this one was just good. Or maybe even just ok. The main problems were these:

• After Blair's speech about going into battle at the end of last week's episode, I really expected her to come up with a more impressive scheme to take down Miss Rachel Carr (New Teacher) than just posting a rumor on Gossip Girl. I could have come up with that--evil genius Blair Waldorf should be able to think up something so much better.
• Yet again Dan and Serena invented some silly reason to break up. We've only seen that happen at least 10 times already...
• I wonder when exactly I came to hate Dan Humphrey. He was absolutely my favorite part of the first two episodes of GG (remember The Wave? So cute). But now, I seriously detest everything about him.
  
• Chuck should not be left muddling through his own random subplot. Yes, I love Chuck. Yes, I'd watch him do about anything. But, no, we don't need to test my limits. Give him something to do other than tracking down high class escorts/nannies that have connections to secret societies. Personally I don't really care about what Bart was up to.
  
• Are we still pushing this Nate/Vanessa thing? It's time to abandon the sinking ship, folks.
• And, why is it that when we see a lot of Jenny Humphrey, I want to see much, much less of her, but when she makes herself scarce, I seriously miss her?

All that said, any episode of Gossip Girl has it's share of awesome quotes. Here's a list of some of them mixed with some of my other thoughts on "Carnal Knowledge":

• Since when does getting detention mean you have to pick up trash in the park? At Constance? Rich people allow this?
• Dorota: "Miss Blair, your martyr act: no good."
• Chuck! Why are you so hungover and slovenly today? I thought maybe we'd moved on from that. Guess not.
• Ha, Nelly's the only one of the minions not mouthing off to Blair, yet Blair knocks her book on the ground.
• No cell phone usage during school hours? These poor kids are going to die.
• Hazel's withdraw symptoms are causing her to air text.
• Dorota's spy sunglasses are hot.
• Blair: "Nelly Yuki, get a grip!"
• Why isn't Nate in school? Or Chuck? I mean I know that Vanessa is "home schooled" (which in her case means "not schooled at all"), but Nate and Chuck should be in school. I guess spring semester seniors at these schools really do get free passes like 14-year-old gymnasts...
• Chuck is sporting a hot new haircut.
• And Vanessa's sporting the neon-est of green pants ever. Eew.
• Um, she was wearing a mask--how does Chuck know that she was "the most beautiful woman [he'd] ever seen"?
• Oh, Blair just fell into this one. You barely even need to make something up here; Dan's practically feeling Miss Carr up in the middle of the hallway.
• Dan: "I'm glad that you're not wearing that raccoon makeup anymore. You looked like one of The Incredibles."
• Ha, I love that Jenny doesn't believe Dan when he tells her he's not hooking up with his teacher! She certainly has a low opinion of her brother.
• It's impressive that everyone in school knows what's on Gossip Girl even though they don't have their cell phones.
• Oh, come on! Annoying New Teacher (Rachel) is trying to ruin everything! Don't mess with Gossip Girl! Gossip Girl is an institution.
• Nelly Yuki! I'm shocked and appalled. She sold Blair out at the drop of a hat. And I don't think I understand why--why does she think it's her record or Blair's? No one thought Nelly started the rumor, so why would her record be in jeopardy?
• They're expelling Blair for starting a rumor?! That seems a little harsh.
• Hmm, I love John Shea something awful, but I kind of wish Eleanor were around to help handle this situation. Harold is a little blind to Blair's faults.
• Hahaha, Rufus thinks Dan's banging the teacher too!
• Why does New Teacher (Rachel) find it so important to be Serena and Dan's "friend"? That's totally not her job; she's being paid to be their teacher.
• Blair: "Dorota, give Handsome to a homeless man. Make sure he has kind eyes."
• Whoa, no wonder New Teacher (Rachel) doesn't know about Gossip Girl, she still uses an old-school date book.
• Chuck: "I'm late for my chiropractor. She's double-jointed. It makes the Kama Sutra feel new again."
• No, New Teacher, Dan is NOT your friend. If you need friends in the city, find somewhere else (besides the school you work in) to meets some! She is really asking for trouble--hanging out after school in a cafe with the student she's rumored to be banging?
  
• Holy moly! Dan, I don't care what is going on, never touch your teacher's face and/or hair!! Eew!
• Yea Serena! Way to take that picture! (I hope the glass window doesn't cause any problems with the photo quality.)
• I wonder if this secret society that Chuck's stumbled onto has anything to do with the secret society that Veronica Mars was investigating at the end of season 3? The Castle, I think they were called. Because if this subplot leads to a meeting between Chuck Bass and Veronica Mars, I will be wholeheartedly on board!
• Oberlin will take Blair even though she's been expelled?
• Blair: "Dorota, go get my dog back!"
• There aren't a whole lot of parents at this meeting.
• Why is New Teacher even at this meeting?
• Blair: "I believe it's called exculpatory evidence. I love Damages!" Ha ha ha, I bet Blair watches Damages to get new ideas for schemes and blackmail.
• Look, Serena, I don't care if he didn't kiss her--he shouldn't be touching her darn face!
• Dan: "I told you nothing was going on!" Then why were you touching her darn face?
• No, Dan, Miss Carr is the one should be punished. She is a professional; you are just a stupid, stupid kid.
• Whoa, Miss Carr has a hell of a nice apartment considering she claims to be such a poor, sad sack.
• Blair (to Handsome): "Ramon got you a Chanel beret."
• Aww, I'm going to miss Handsome.
• Oh, darn, Elle's gone missing. That's too bad.
• Well, Miss Carr's not a teacher now so why shouldn't Dan sleep with her?... Argh! Humphrey, where is your strict moral code now?
• And then of course Miss Carr's firing doesn't stick. Which sucks because I want this loser gone. Geez, why isn't there somebody with a camera phone hiding in Rachel's apartment?
• Gossip Girl has developed quite the knack for introducing guest characters with several episode story arcs, who show up and seem ok at first but then rapidly become so unredeemably annoying that there's no choice but to ship them off ASAP. (Examples: Georgina Sparks, Lord Marcus, Agnes, Jack Bass, Aaron Rose, etc.)
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Damages: Everyone's Evil and Hiding Something

Damages: "Burn It, Shred It, I Don't Care"

The play-by-play:

• Hmm, Ellen's still monologuing...
• Patty is hanging on by a thread. Geez. It's not like she's never seen a dead person before. Ray shot himself in her freaking office.
• Hmm, so now we're looking for a short Aryan guy with blond, stringy hair.
• At least Patty took charge and got poor Daniel some juice.
• Oh, boo, the FBI's trying to bring down Tom (Jimmy Cooper)! Leave Tom alone!
• It's almost like Patty knows what's going on (with Ellen and the FBI). She didn't cop to anything when Ellen was wearing the wire either.
• Why's Daniel protecting these people now? They just killed his wife. I guess he still needs to protect his daughter.
• Ellen is wearing some serious heels for working in the middle of the night.
• Oh, Ellen, don't offer to "help in any way" you can. Patty will hold you to that, and you aren't going to like it.
• Oh, Ellen, don't sass the FBI.
• Ellen: "Tom's a big boy. He wants to break the law, then he can pay the price."
• Frobisher is out of the hospital.
• Yeah, no, David would not want Ellen to get revenge.
• Dude, Wes (the therapy group guy) is so not helpful. He's definitely egging her on; and he must have an ulterior motive for doing that.
• Wow, Michael looks like he's been hitting the flat iron kind of hard.
• So, is this woman just acting? She's an FBI plant, right? So she's trying to entrap Tom? So that he'll have to cut a deal and turn on Patty? Ok, I understand.
• Wow, Tom, you just caved right in there, didn't you? I guess he hasn't shaken his Jimmy Cooper law-breaking tendencies.
• Hmm, I wonder what this compound does? You know what would be awesome? If it tied into Frobisher.
• Dude, the guy from the EPA is in the pocket of the energy industry guy (Wayne). Oops.
• Wow, that's quite the hairdo Ellen's rocking today. For a second when Tom and Patty called her into the room, I thought they wanted to see her for a hair intervention!
• Whoa, that sonogram thing was bizarre. I had no idea what was going on. If I were Ellen, it would have taken me a few more days to figure that one out. It would have taken a long time for me to realize that the sonogram "belonged" to the one guy in the room.
• Now Wes is using reverse psychology because he knows Ellen doesn't really want to kill Frobisher. He's telling her not to go after him so she'll go after him.
• Hmm, Wes has a nice little stalker wall there right next to the heavy artillery. Creepy!
• I'm concerned that there are too many people with secret agendas being introduced all at once. Last season we had a lot of people, but their evilness was displayed gradually. First, Frobisher was evil, then Patty, then someone else... Now it's like everyone's evil all at once.
• Tom got Ellen her gun (from a creepy abandoned building type place). Interesting.
• Oh, Patty bugs the office. Of course she does.
• Tom's really going to go through with the payoff! I thought he had some hidden scheme and a way to get out of it.
• I thought it was Ellen who called to warn Tom, but it was Patty who called it off.
• Ellen looks a little more professional today. She's wearing a dress shirt and her hair is not in a beehive. Oh, but she is wearing some weird pants... Perhaps she's dealing with her grief by doing a lot of (sometimes misguided) clothing shopping.
• Patty's a smarty--now she knows who commissioned the report.
• Hmm, Daniel's having some kind of relations with the energy company's lawyer lady. I'm not a shocked as I'm supposed to be. After all, when everyone is evil and hiding something, everyone is evil and hiding something.
• What I don't really get is why Daniel seems so hell bent on dragging Patty into this despite not really seeming to want her help. Especially since he's already involved with the other lawyer lady.

Opening Credits Death Match

Mad Men vs. Damages:

Mad Men's opening title sequence is so good it's art, but there's something undeniably awesome about Damages' montage too.

Mad Men:


Damages:

(This is from the first season; I couldn't find the new one, but I think it's basically the same but with different names.)

Damages: Just for a Thrill

Damages is back! Damages is back! Damages is back!
It's about 9:40 p.m. EST, so the show is not even on yet, but I'm so excited that I am starting my blog now just so I can talk about it. Damages!

There was a time when I never thought I'd see the day that this show would be back on the air. It's been, what, about 15 months now? And, frankly, I can't remember much about what happened in season 1. To be fair, I don't think we really knew what was going on at the time though, so I guess there's some consolation in that.

Here's what I can recall: Patty tried to kill Ellen...Ray was awesome but he killed himself...Jenny Garth's husband/Carlisle Cullen was hit by a car...there was this sketchy, bearded fellow who broke into Ellen's apartment and tampered with something...Frobisher was bleeding to death in a field...Patty's kid was creepy...Patty cried over a grave in a cemetery...Jimmy Cooper let Patty kick him around a lot and his name is not on the door of the law practice...Ellen's kindly old mentor guy turned out to be evil (I think)...Katie lived a life of narcotics and intercourse...

But I'm thinking there must have been more to the story...

Yea--now it's about 9:58 EST, and it's almost starting!!! My hopes for season 2: Katie comes back. Ellen kicks some serious ass.

Damages: "I Lied, Too"

The play-by-play:

• Oh no, are we going commercial-free again for the premiere? I should have gone to the bathroom before this started. I didn't learn my lesson from the pilot.
• Who did have David killed? Do we know for sure it was Frobisher, or is that just what Ellen thinks? I don't remember if we found that out or not. I think it had to do with the sketchy, bearded guy.
• This opening monologue by New Ellen is scaring the hell out of me...and I kinda love it.
• Do civil litigation lawyers really go on Regis and Kelly? Maybe if they win a $2 billion settlement.
• Sam Arseno. (I feel like I should write down the names of everyone who is mentioned to try to avoid confusion later.)
• Patty's hair looks flippin' awesome.
• Ahhh! Theme song, how I've missed you!
• How long has poor Frobisher been in this field? He better rally because Ted Danson can win that Emmy now that Zeljko Ivanek (Ray Fiske) isn't around to take it away (BTW, Zeljko taking winning that award was the highlight of the Emmys. It was very well deserved.)
• Ellen was in the cabin? Wearing a hunting vest? Ahh, it's ok, it's just as "revenge fantasy."
• Pete!
• That's kind of a tiny conference table these bigwigs are sitting around.
• Wow, Rose Byrne kind of sounds like January Jones. I thought I was listening to Betty Draper there for a second. Weird.
• Sam Arseno: "In the '80s, we all did shit like that."
• Wait, did Sam's story even pertain to this situation? Or did he just want to brag about once having a girl under his desk?
• Patty: "There are a lot of clowns under the big top."
• Daniel Purcell.
• Ooh, dark fingernails are acceptable for high powered lawyers.
• Yeah, this infant mortality/HMO thing has Patty written all over it. Nice work, FBI.
• Hmm, this guy at grief support counseling (Wes Krulik) is a real keeper, what with his head-kicking story. Ahh, it's ok, he's just describing a "revenge fantasy." I keep falling for those.
• Patty's creepy kid!
• Patty has a lot more guilt about this attempting-to-kill-Ellen thing than I would have expected.
• He he he, did Patty set Lily Arseno up for this drug bust? Of course she did.
• You know who would fit in with Patty? Blair Waldorf. They are cut from the same cloth.
• Is Patty's hair suddenly substantially longer? Was it just more flipped up before, or have we time jumped?
• Hmm, how does Patty know this Daniel fellow, and why is this situation so awkward? I'm guessing it has something to do with the girl in the grave. Maybe?
• Oh, Wes knows the exact date and the day of the week that his girlfriend's killer is going to get out of jail. Poor guy.
• Ray! Ahhhh! Hallucination Ray!!! Ray!!! "Hungry children ain't going to cut it." Ahaha. Holy crap, I love Ray Fiske. I hope the Damages people got Zeljko to more guest appearances. I want to see more of Hallucination Ray!
• He he, I knew "Mrs. Frobisher" was going to be Ellen. But is this just a "revenge fantasy"? Hmm, no, this one looks real.
  
• Yep, Arseno, your daughter was set up. What I can't believe is that you haven't figured out who set her up. Come on.
• This Arseno guy really is a delight. Everything he says turns into a metaphor involving genitalia...
• It's nice that mother and son Hughes are in cahoots now.
• The back of Ellen's cocktail dress is stunning.
• The girl in the grave was Patty's daughter (who was stillborn). Did we know that for sure, or was that just a guess?
• Ok, Patty, I thought we were telling the truth now. Guess not. The person in your apartment was not looking for you. We're not buying it. Does Patty know Ellen's working with the FBI?
• Oh dear, Daniel's wife is dead. I thought he was dropping the case; why'd they kill her now? It will just makes him come after them. (Like when Patty killed Katie's dog so she'd get involved in the Frobisher case.)
• Whoever Ellen's talking to in the flash forward (the present?) is being very silent. (Do they have tape over their mouth?)
• Ellen: "Well, it's ok. I lied, too." (bang, bang)
  

So, what is the name of the song that Ellen is listening to? Well, after a quick Google search of the lyrics, I can tell Ellen what she can't remember: the name of the song is "Just for a Thrill." Tell me that doesn't mean something. (Here are the full lyrics for your analyzing pleasure.)

What I loved most about this episode was that it was fun to see all of these characters again. It was like a reunion, seeing Tom (Jimmy Cooper), Frobisher, Ray, Pete, David, etc. I was even excited to see Patty's creepy kid. The last time all these people tangled turned into such a horrible mess that we can only imagine what they'll do to each other this time.

Well, all in all, I'm not as blown away and exhilarated as I was after the pilot episode and at other points during last season, but I'm definitely on board for this new chapter and intrigued to see how it all goes down. Team Ellen!

(photo: Damages/FX)

My Take on Twilight's Casting

I know that everyone and their little sister have already weighed in on the Twilight movie adaptation's casting decisions, but I can't help but throw in my two cents as well.

Of anyone in the whole world, I think the person who best embodies the vampire's combination of excessive beauty and inherent scariness is Jonathan Rhys Myers. There's certainly something other-worldly about him. Unfortunately, Twilight couldn't really capitalize on Jonathan's clear vamp-ish qualities, because he doesn't really fit any of the book's characters. Perhaps one of the other myriad of vampire related films and shows will be able to take advantage of them at some point.

I'm not sure entirely which Twilight role they should have given him, but I'm convinced that Ed Westwick should have been in the movie. These photos prove that he's got the pale, beautiful, and brooding thing down. Masterfully.

Personally, I don't have a problem with the casting of Twilight's leads. Kristen Stewart is okay by me, and I think she fits Bella pretty well. And Robert Pattinson has certainly turned out to be quite the find. What confuses me is the supporting cast. And namely that several members of the supporting cast were featured in the sub-par season three of The O.C. I don't think Josh Schwartz even liked that season, so why would anyone look there for casting inspiration? And if you had to scavenge amongst The O.C. season three actors, why wouldn't you pick Willa Holland or Johnny Lewis or Eric Mabius, who were definitely the bright spots among the new cast members that year? Why would you pick Volchok and Sadie and Caitlin's boarding school boyfriend? The choices just seem bizarre to me.

Frankly, I imagine I'll always hold some sort of grunge against Cam Gigandet for playing the guy who killed Marissa Cooper and Nikki Reed for her stint as whiny Johnny's annoying jewelry-making cousin. Ick. It's been years, and I still don't even like to think about that whole debacle. What's especially weird about Nikki's casting is that she's playing Rosalie who is supposed to be tall and blond and Nikki is neither of those things. And it's not like tall blondes are rarities in Hollywood, right? I would think you could walk down the sidewalk and swing your arms around and hit 20 or 30 of them.

But this necessary hair dying thing seems to be a trend with the Twilight casting selections. The blond kid from 90210 (Kellan Lutz) had to dye his hair brown. Peter Facinelli had to dye his hair blond. It seems like they were trying to force certain people into certain roles whether they really fit or not.

Peter Facinelli, for instance. I like Peter; I thought he was great in Damages. But I don't think I'd necessarily classify him as "more handsome than any movie star," which is what Dr. Cullen is supposed to be. (And especially not when he's got this freaky blond hair and white makeup.) My suggestion for Dr. Cullen, and I'm pretty confident about this one, would be Ryan McPartlin a.k.a. Chuck's Captain Awesome! I cite his appearance in Mad Men as proof of his handsomeness. I mean, Betty Draper wouldn't put down her gimlet and have a tryst in the back room of a bar with just any guy, right?

Oh, and I've also been pretty turned off to Elizabeth Reaser in general by her messing with poor Alex on Grey's Anatomy and her love of combining Ugg boots and shorts in The Ex List.

I am kind of excited that Rachelle Lefevre landed a role in the film. She keeps popping up in various television shows I watch, and I always wonder what else I've seen her in before I remember that it was Big Wolf on Campus. Yes, I'm admitting that I used to watch Big Wolf on Campus.

So, anyway, my copious television watching has certainly colored my opinions about the Twilight cast. Will any of this stop me from going to see the movie at my earliest convenience? No, it absolutely will not.

(photo: Twilight Official Movie Site)

Burn Notice: Back in Miami

Burn Notice: "Breaking and Entering"

Yea, Burn Notice is back! It's nice to reclaim at least some of the glory that was last summer's television. Let's just see if I can remember anything that was going on...

The best part about Burn Notice is the characters. Michael, Fiona, and Sam are all extremely likable, and Michael and Fee are so cool that it almost hurts. The second best part about Burn Notice is that it's so freaking fun. It's like Alias before we had to worry about prophecies and entire cities blowing up.

Not that Burn Notice doesn't have it's share of high stakes. After all, Michael is being coerced into working for the people who "burned" him (for some unknown reason) and who do not seem like the nicest bunch of folks you'll ever want to meet. The lady on the phone is all kinds of annoying with her threats, but at least by the end of the episode we got to put a face to her voice. It wasn't a big surprise that the seemingly-random "firecracker" at the bar turned out to be the mystery lady, but it was still entertaining.

Highlights:

• It's nice to see Fiona again since seeing the actress who plays her (Gabrielle Anwar) in The Tudors playing Henry's sister (who ended up being kind of pathetic, which is something Fiona will never be).
• Michael (on airbags): "Gone are the days when you could run through a line of trees without getting a face full of nylon."
• Back to Miami already...Michael had barely left.
• Poor Jimmy. He has quite an unfortunate tale.
• Sam trying to fit into Michael's shirt.
• Ha, nice accent!
• The scene where Mike and Fee were shooting at each other and trying to miss was pretty awesome.
• The Psych commercial of Gus and Shawn singing "Ebony and Ivory" is hilarious.
• Spies have such extensive experience in the strangest stuff (cutting through a floor, for example).
• Michael laughing when Jimmy tells the security guy to take off his jacket and pants.
• Jimmy giving Michael his car as a thank you.
• Ahh, the obligatory beginning-of-season-two break up. This is television; we can't have the couple be together, now can we?

I'm glad to have this show back. Now if only Damages had returned too...

Pilot Watch '07: Pushing Daisies

Basically everyone in the world who has seen an advanced screener of Pushing Daisies has been extolling its virtues as loudly as they can for months. Thus, my expectations for this pilot probably couldn't have been any higher. Fortunately, "Pie Lette" (how cute is that name?) every bit lived up to the hype.

Pushing Daisies was charming almost beyond belief. The storybook feel seemed very unique. The characters were quirky and likable (not just quirky). The story and plot devices were inventive. The dialogue was snappy and wittier than I was expecting. The cinematic value was top-notch, with gorgeous, vibrant colors and a dream-like quality. The whole thing was as sweet as the pies they sell at the Pie Hole.

Pushing Daisies reminded me a lot of a Tim Burton film. It seemed very much along the lines of Edward Scissorhands and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: strange but unexpectedly touching. It's a formula that I warmly welcome to television.

If I had to make one complaint, it would be that the narrated back story seemed to last a while and it might have taken them just a bit too long to get Lee Pace on the screen. But once he appeared, the show was good to go.

Something about Ned and Chuck reminded me of Ed and Carol from Ed. I guess the actors look vaguely similar (in their faces), but I think it was more the purity of the love story. Ned remembering his time with young Chuck was a lot like Ed remembering the time he first saw Carol and she took his breath away.

I also really enjoyed Chi McBride in this episode. The Emerson/Ned banter reminded me of Shawn and Gus from Psych. Emerson and Ned made Pushing Daisies much funnier that I was anticipating.

Other thoughts:

• The dog looked pretty good for having been run over by a tractor trailer. And I do find it unrealistic that Ned managed to keep his dog for 20 years without ever touching it, even by accident.
• Gotta love a show that uses pretty language like, "Chuck came ready-made from the Play Doh Fun Factory of life."
• Ned's accidental responsibility for Chuck's dad's death is reminiscent of Lana Lang's parents being killed in the meteor shower that brought Clark Kent to earth on Smallville.
• What did people make of two seemingly healthy neighbors just keeling over and dying on the exact same day?
• I really, really want Cantaloupe the Chow! Cantaloupe is an adorable name for a dog. It's right up there with Saffron from Damages.
• Logistical questions: Does just one person die for everyone who stays alive or do more people keep dying? And assuming Ned brings them back to life and never touches them again, do the "alive again" people live indefinitely or could they die again?
• For some reason, I really love the name "Boutique Travel Travel Boutique."
• Ned: "I hate to be a bad host, but I'm kind of exhausted from chasing your coffin..."
• Chuck's last name is Charles! Perhaps we're related :-)
• Ned: "It was most definitely on the menu; it was the Special of the Day--can we drop this metaphor?"
• Emerson: "We all have childhood issues--I've got the full subscription."
• Emerson: "Bitch! I was in proximity!" (I was also afraid that keeping Chuck alive would have caused Emerson to die, so thankfully that was not the case.)
• I haven't heard "petard" used since Ed.
• This pilot was showed in the opposite manner of "limited commercial interruptions." It seemed like there was a commercial break every 4 minutes.
• Chuck's aunt: "I can hold my breath for a long time." He he, she was a synchronized swimmer after all.
• Morgue guy: "Aren't you the dog expert?"

Basically flawless.

Premiere Rating: 9.5 / 10
(I deducted 0.5 just because I'm sure there could have been something that would have made me love the episode even more...like a guest appearance by James McAvoy or something.)

2007 Fall Outlook

I'm going to have a lot of television on my plate this fall. Even though three of my favorite shows ever (The OC, Gilmore Girls, and Veronica Mars) were canceled last season, there are still about a million shows that I want to watch. Actually, I'm planning to check out 23 shows this fall. Even I think that's excessive.

Something's gotta give at some point though. Right? Thankfully, Damages is going to wrap up its first season in October, but if everything on this list is still going strong by the time Lost, Kyle XY, Monk, Greek, and Psych come back, I'm going to be screwed.

I'm most excited to see the pilots of all the new shows because we've been hearing about them for almost six months now! It's go time!

The following is a list of shows that I plan on watching (or at least monitoring). I also included a ranking (high, medium, or low) of how excited I am to have each (so far unpremiered) show back.

Sunday:
Desperate Housewives (low), Brothers and Sisters (low)

Monday:

Chuck (high), Heroes (medium -- escaping "low" only because of the addition of David Anders and Kristen Bell to the cast), Aliens in America (medium), Samantha Who? (medium)

Tuesday:

Beauty and the Geek, Reaper (high), Bones (medium), Damages

Wednesday:
Pushing Daisies (high), Private Practice (low), Dirty Sexy Money (high), Gossip Girl, Kid Nation

Thursday:

30 Rock (high), The Office (high), Ugly Betty (medium), Grey's Anatomy (low), Smallville (medium), Without a Trace (low)

Friday:

Moonlight (medium), Men In Trees (medium)

Yikes. And this list doesn't include Viva Laughlin, which I want to watch because it is supposed to be ridiculous and terrible, and Big Shots, which I will try (due to allegiance to Michael Vartan) to watch at least once even though it looks awful.

Hmm. I guess it's good that I really don't have anything else to do...

Best TV of Summer 2007

Well, quite honestly, I didn't do much of value this summer. I did, however, watch an awful lot of television, so I figure I might as well handicap it down to a nice little "Best Of" list. Here goes:

Best Reality Show:
So You Think You Can Dance -- For the second straight summer, I've been captivated by this show's great dancers with fun personalities who hip hop, mambo, waltz, quick step, krump, cha cha, swing, jazz, and contemporary (ok, I realize those last two aren't really verbs) their way into our hearts. My Season 3 highlights: Pasha, Sara, Pasha and Sara's West Coast Swing, Pasha and Lauren's Transformers hip hop, Neil and Sabra's table jazz dance, Danny and Lacey's mambo, Pasha and Lacey's mannequin hip hop, and of course the two guys swing dancing during the auditions.

Best New Show and Best Drama:
Damages -- Yea for FX giving us a show this intelligent and this exciting and this well-made in the summer! The great thing about this show is the characters keep getting smarter and more willing to do absolutely anything to get their way. The stakes have been ratcheted up so high that the audience feels like it's all about to hit the fan at any moment. Patty Hewes steals the show (she is being portrayed by Glenn Close, after all), but many of the other characters are amazingly fascinating--and amazing flawed--from Frobisher to Katie to Gregory to Tom to Fisk.

Funnest New Show:
Greek -- It's not the smartest show and it's probably not going to change the world, but Greek is pretty darn fun and there's nothing wrong with that. The characters are varied, interesting, and mostly likable (and many seem like people you'd actually find on any college campus). Greek is funnier than you'd expect and, on occasion, actually shows physics geeks discussing physics.

Best Show I Now Realize I Should Have Been Watching All Along:
Burn Notice -- After catching a few reruns last week, I now regret not being on the Burn Notice bandwagon all summer. The show has the "fun spy" feel of Alias and its well-utilized, often comedic voice-over smacks of Veronica Mars. Congrats to USA for finally finding Jeffrey Donovan a vehicle that showcases his talent and total hotness. And I love that this USA series is doing a season-long story arc (unlike Monk and Psych which have become terminally serial).

New Show That I Totally Respect Yet Have No Desire To Watch For Any Extended Period Of Time:

Mad Men -- Something about watching this show makes me feel yucky...which is exactly what they are going for. It's intricate, sneaky, and gorgeous. And the whole thing makes me feel fantastically uneasy, much like I imagine actually having to spend time in an ad agency in the 1950s would.

Best Character:
Cliff, Hidden Palms -- While Hidden Palms was nothing to write home about (and had possibly the worst main title sequence ever), the character of Cliff was a revelation. Michael Cassidy masterfully walked the line between devastatingly charming and possibly dangerous in a tour de force performance that transcended the series. It turned out that Cliff wasn't as nefarious as we originally were led to believe, but still, he had a knack for making bad look very appealing.

Funniest Lines of the Summer:

Cappie, Greek: "We may be puking, but the Omega Chis are not used to running on puke like we are."

Gus, Psych: "Some people are just born evil...like the kid from The Omen, the Children of the Corn, Chad Michael Murray."

Ellen, Damages: "Emily Dickinson. That bitch will say anything."

Pawn Shop Guy, Kyle XY: "Ok, easy, Veronica Mars!"

Best Unintentionally Funny Moment:

"I Don't Dance" baseball number, High School Musical 2. Ok, in my opinion, there wasn't much to redeem HSM2. Trite, sappy, rather poorly acted, etc., etc. But, I am more than willing to declare the "I Don't Dance" baseball song and dance number an instant classic. Because, I mean, what makes more sense than a boy adamantly claiming that he doesn't dance while dancing his way through a baseball game? Factor in some strong, if unintended, homoerotic overtones and this scene ranks as one of the funniest moments of the summer.

Stand-out episodes:
"Mr. Monk and His Biggest Fan" Monk -- In my favorite episode of Monk this season, Sarah Silverman (who I don't always enjoy) guest stars as Monk's obsessed fan and shows us her Monk-centric dioramas complete with a Troll doll serving as Natalie. And, yes, those are Monk's pants she's wearing...

(more to come)

Damages: We may not like it, but we know how to play second fiddle.

Damages:
I'm late with the comments again this week, so we're going to go with another as-it-happened list:

• So, how did Patty get her apartment cleaned up so quickly?
• Because Ellen asked the police if they identified the body, I guess she didn't know the person who was trying to kill her. So, thank goodness, that appears to alleviate my worst fear, which was that Jimmy Cooper was the one trying to take her out.
• Despite not having time for her fiance, Ellen does have time to stay on the cutting edge of fashion. It's nice to see she's got her priorities in order :-)
• Hmm, Ellen's being a bit of a firecracker with Gregory (Jennie Garth's husband). It's refreshing to see her not playing the doormat for the first time in a few weeks. Ahh, but it turns out she was just acting that way because Patty told her to. I wonder when Ellen will tire of being a puppet.
• Ted Dansen rocked his scene with his lawyer. "Get me a writer and stop being an asshole... she spat at me!" Ha.
• Could the slut (Lila) with the now-dead grandfather somehow be a plant by Patty? That would be incredible. I'm not sure what the angle for that would be though...
• Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Ted's lawyer's dream about pulling his own tooth out was disgusting! I could have lived without seeing that.
• He he. George the writer is kind of funny.
• Hmm. Dr. Roberts (Patty's husband) is kind of a bore with his never-ending talk of wine. He was never the most riveting character on The O.C. either, but he wasn't this dull.
• Patty: "We may not like it, but we know how to play second fiddle. We're bread for it. Men can't handle it."
• Wow, Slutty Lila sure is gussied up for having someone over to look at medical equipment.
• He he. George's novel does sound like crap.
• Whoooooooooa. Ted is scaring the crap out of me in the scene where he shows up at George's apartment. Ted's going to be *at least* nominated for an Emmy next year. He is killing this episode. No wonder his lawyer is so freaked out he's dreaming about losing teeth...
• Patty: "I dumbed him as soon as I got my JD. He had no ambition. He disgusted me." He he. Nice, Patty, real nice...
• Oh Slutty Lila stole David's keys! And her grandpa's not dead! Ahahaha. Someone is clearly behind this; she's coming on way too strong and David's not that great.
• Maybe Gregory should avoid hanging out in bars and walking home late at night--good things do not happen to him when he does that. Oooh, the blonde was after him this whole time! That's interesting. And Patty is protecting him. I would not have expected that.
• And, when Slutty Lila shows up at Ellen's apartment and stares creepily in, we have the confirmation that I was right and that Slutty Lila is definitely in on it somehow. What remains to be seen is what exactly "it" is.

So, since Slutty Lila is so incredible sketchy, I think she just staged this "affair." It seems to me like somebody wanted Ellen to think David was cheating on her, but now I'm guessing he really wasn't. Perhaps he was just dumb enough to let the slutty granddaughter of a patient steal his apartment keys. A faked affair would present police with Ellen's motive to kill David, making it much easier for someone to frame her for his murder. (Especially with the incriminating voice mail message from Ellen, but that could have been left for anyone.) But who wants to frame her? And why kill David anyway?

The promo for next week's episode says that it will be the week that everything will start coming together, so here's to that. Whatever happens, I'm sure it's going to be crazy exciting!

Damages: Yea for lots of Jimmy Cooper!

Damages:
How weird is it that Jimmy Cooper's biking buddy is the dad from Grounded for Life? They're sure liking their spandex. Goodness, the game theory behind Jimmy's job change decision is intimidating.

Did Arthur's lawyer say, "The sun don't shine on the same dog's tail all week?" Ha ha--that's hilarious!

Whoa, Arthur's in cahoots with the head employee guy? That's crafty and sneaky.

Ellen's mom is George O'Malley's mom?

Oh no, the group hired Jimmy! Patty's going to kill him. Good, Jimmy, be a hard ass! I like my Jimmy Cooper when he's not a push over. Unfortunately, that's not going to last long... He should have seen Patty's reaction coming. I knew she was going to tell him he wouldn't be able to cut it. Oh, Jimmy should have held out for the name on the door.

I hope this all doesn't end badly for Jimmy. I love Jimmy. Even though he clearly cannot hold his drink. (I don't think Katie's going to be bringing him into her life of "narcotics and intercourse" anytime soon.) Is he hallucinating, or did Patty follow him into the men's bathroom? Either seems very possible, but it looks like this occasion is a hallucination.

If Katie got screwed over, Jennie Garth's husband sure isn't fairing much better.

Oh no! That's not Jimmy attacking Ellen is it? Because I don't know if I can handle that. By the end of this, all the "good" people will turn out to be evil and all the "bad" people will probably turn out good. Or, more likely, everyone will just end up evil.

So Patty hid the body and cleaned up the scene? Why was Ellen in Patty's apartment wearing yoga clothes/pajamas? The body of the now-dead attacker sure does look like Jimmy. I guess it could also be Jennie Garth's husband though since it looks like Ellen's getting tangled up with him next episode.

Damages: The spotlight is a pretty gosh darn awful place to be, indeed.

Damages:
In the interest of time, another list:

• Whoa, it's fun to be Katie... Her life really is a blur of narcotics and intercourse! Sweet :-)
• Ugh, it would be hard to recognize someone you saw five years ago from far away when you were drunk and drugged up...
• Well, now we know that Katie lives through this whole ordeal because she's around to ID her brother's body (in quite a dramatic fashion!).
• Arthur seems to spend a lot of time skimming his pool.
• At least in this show, Jimmy Cooper's daughter seems a little more promising than either Marissa or Kaitlyn.
• Geez, lawyers in NYC....yikes. They will blackmail you right into taking an extremely well-paying, prestigious job. Ridiculous!
• It seems kind of skanky to hit on the surgeon who just performed your grandpa's heart surgery.
• Oh, it's never good to pass someone else's testimony off as your own. I learned that lesson from Days of Our Lives for crying out loud.
• "I also warned you that the spotlight is a pretty God damn awful place to be." --Patty
• Uh oh, I think they created a monster with Katie--she's become a little too good at this whole deposition thing.
• Oh, Jennie Garth's husband set Katie up...I saw that coming.
• One of the highlights of watching Damages is the commercial for Nip/Tuck Hollywood with the awesome "Wicked Games" cover paying in the background.
• It's creepy how good Patty is at controlling everything.
• The girl who's grandpa is in the hospital is a huge skank! Geez. Although I guess even the grandfathers of huge sluts need medical attention occasionally...
• Who is that baby?

Damages: 'This is going to be a shitty week.'

Damages:
Observations....

• Ha ha ha. I love Patty's reaction to receiving a grenade in the mail: "This is going to be a shitty week."
• Maybe it's the Alias fan in me, but I was expecting the package to at least contain someone's severed finger... I mean, come on now.
• Hmm, Katie's a little skanky. Ohh, and her boyfriend's a little married. Great.
• Why do I always feel like Jimmy Cooper could use some help from Sandy Cohen?
• I thought it was hilarious that Patty's son hacked in to the school computer system and even managed to get the passwords to personal faculty email accounts! Score!
• The family therapist has some sort of uncanny resemblance to Joaquin Phoenix. I miss Joaquin...
• Why is Patty so creepy about everything involving family and personal lives. Is she bipolar?
• Uh oh, Patty mentioned the bookends. That can't be good.
• Hmm, Patty has a bad history with disgruntled CEOs. I guess that's no surprise. "Taking power away from a man is a dangerous thing. Someone always pays."
• Patty's kid is just as creepy as she is. I knew she was involved in his "kidnapping" in some way. I didn't realize that he was behind the grenade though. But I'm not really sure that I care. Unless this kid somehow becomes relevant to the big story with Ellen, Ted Dansen, Katie, and the court case, I'm not sure I want to be wasting time delving into his story. I think I accidentally stopped paying attention during the scene with him and Patty in the restaurant. Oops.
• If I were Ellen, I think I may have called off this engagement too. She and her fiance are so boring together.
• I'm glad they brought back the big, showy, movie-esque music from the pilot for the flashback at the end. That music was my favorite part of the pilot, I think. But, oh dear, who was trying to kill Ellen? I hope it wasn't Jimmy Cooper...

Next week's episode looks intense! But this line cracked me up: "Would you characterize your life as one big blur of narcotics and intercourse?" Ha! I can't wait for that.

Damage Control

Damages:
Since I'm a week behind with this, I'm just listing some random observations about episode 2:

• Oh, killed with a bookend. That sucks.
• "Now" is 6 months after Ellen joined the firm.
• Eek! Patty just gave it to poor Katie. ("How old were you when you realized you were a good liar?" Awesome.)
• The security detail for Ted Dansen looks like a uni-bomber.
• "Become powerful enough and eventually every option becomes available to you."
• Wow, Patty takes her son getting strippers pretty hard for being such a hardass. That interesting. It looks like the son's going to be in some trouble next episode though, so this sounds like foreshadowing.
• Katie's smarter than she seems--making a scene was when the assassin guy was following her was a really good idea.
• "Just think--for a reasonable fee, she's available to cater any occasion."
• Hmm, Katie's having a clandestine relationship of some kind with Jennie Garth's husband. That can't be good.
• Patty bought Katie a puppy! And found Ellen an apartment ! Wow, Patty's like Santa.
• Whoa, did Ellen really kill her boyfriend? Wow, that would be a twist.

Pain and Suffering

Damages:

Woohoo! After my third try at watching a new cable show this summer (well, in fairness, I only watched the first five minutes of Saving Grace), I've found one I really, really like! What is impressive is that Damages not only provided one great hour of thrilling television, but it also helped me erase the negative connotations that the word "damages" has for me, which stem from a very late night in the stairwell of Sussex Hall reading a very long book about the very botched delivery of twins and the very drawn out legal aftermath. Helping me forget about that is no small feat.

But anyway: There was so much to like about this show. It started off great with some very sexy (in a judicial sort of way) opening credits. The opening scene was fan-freaking-tastic with the orchestral, movie-esque music contrasting the eventual appearance of a bloody, disoriented Ellen.

Glenn Close was great--so smart and yet so, so creepy! And she's married to Summer Roberts' dad (and Uncle Saul's almost boyfriend) of all people! Of course, any show with Jimmy Cooper (Tate Donovan) in it gets a thumbs up in my book. Well, except for that frawful (freakin awful) astronaut episode of Law & Order: CI.

But, let's be honest, what I really loved about this show was that it's Alias, but with lawyers instead of spies. Actually, I think some of it was so much like Alias that it was encroaching on plagiarism, but ripped off Alias is better than living in an Alias-less world.

Another thing I liked was that I felt smart while watching it. Like any other self-respecting Alias addict, I saw the dead-fiance-in-the-bathtub coming a mile away (that poor guy literally was Danny Hecht without the Australian accent). But I was really impressed with myself that I figured out that Patty didn't really fire Jimmy Cooper. Come on, he's Jimmy Cooper! You wouldn't fire someone that adorable! (Well, maybe if he embezzled several million dollars from you, but that was a different show.) If they were impressed with Ellen's ability to see through bull shit, and I did a better job of it than she did, does that mean that I have a job waiting for me at Patty's firm? Though after watching this hour of television, I think I'll pass on that job.

And I'll admit I enjoyed the extra swearing that basic cable allows in their shows. It just made it seem more authentic.

Highlight:

Patty: "'Hope' is the thing with feathers."

Ellen: Emily Dickinson. That bitch will say anything.

I loved that it ended with Ellen saying, "Get me a lawyer." Unfortunately, it looks like lawyers are what got her into this mess in the first place...

Another wacky similarity to the Alias pilot was that it was presented commercial free. This time, though, I have Cadillac to thank for me having to go to the bathroom and not being able to for 45 minutes.

P.S. Damages has quite a swanky official website.