Greek: Happily Ever After?

Greek: "I Know What You Did Last Semester"


GREEK! I'm both excited to have the Cyprus Rhodes gang back and very nervous that this might be the beginning of the end. There's a lot of speculation going around that ABC Family may be trying to push Greek out in favor of the (vastly inferior) Secret Life of the American Teenager and Make It Or Break It and other new programming, and after what happened to Wildfire and Kyle XY (see may rants here, here and here), I'm inclined to believe that there may be cause for worry. ABC Family seems to have developed quite a knack for abandoning its well-liked, established shows for whatever is new. I could rant about how ABC Family should not hang its high-quality show (Greek) out to dry in favor of its more lowest-common-denominator fare, but that seems like it should be obvious. If it's not, we've got bigger problems.



Until we know more, if you love Greek, it can't hurt to visit http://www.savegreek.com/ and send some postcards and a red cup or two.



In any event, Greek returned with a delightful episode, as usual. Honestly, I can't think of too many other shows that can make me laugh as loud as Greek does on a regular basis.

The play-by-play:

• Betsy: "With all the stress of burning down the Gamma Si house, I couldn't eat all winter break, so I look fantastic!"
• Lol at Cappie's "Hello, Clarice."
• DALE!!!!!!
• Dale has interns now! Really nerdy interns.
• Dale: "Really? Cappie didn't mention that in his Christmas newsletter. It did have a fantastic date nut bar recipe."
• I'd pay money to get my hands on Cappie's Christmas newsletter.
• Hang on, I just realized that Greek is finally taking place at the same time as real life! Usually, it's winter there and summer here or fall there and spring here, etc. But now, it's winter here! It's winter there! This hasn't happened in a while. It's so exciting.
• Fisher and Ash broke up? Again?! Boo, I liked his cute face.
• Ash: "It's a fun way to start of the semester. You have a boyfriend. I'm single. We're arsonists."
• Aww, I miss Wade too.
• LOL at the KT's "secret knock" (which is "knock, knock").
• EVAN!! And he's wearing a tie! However, Evan cannot compete with the ensemble Calvin's sporting: checked shirt, all-over argyle sweater...very nice.
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! IF THIS HAS EVEN THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING THE LAST SERIES OF GREEK, DO NOT MAKE ME SPEND IT WATCHING EVAN AND REBECCA! PLEEEEEASE!
• Ha ha at Beaver looking menacing with the golf club!
• Well, I guess this is why my college never let us have candles in our dorm rooms (even unlit ones).
• Cappie: "If I'm late, she'll make me go as the least attractive dwarf, which I happen to think is Sneezy."
• Yeah, Calvin, it's time to cut Grant loose. This guy just isn't doing it for me.
• Ha ha at Casey freaking out when she walked into the firefighter costume and then the guy in the devil outfit.
• Yea, yea, yea, yea! The Dale/Calvin/Rusty trio is back in action!
• Rusty: "I never liked that Grant!"
• NOoooooooooooooooooooo--this is Evan/Rebecca! I said that is NOT what I want to see!
• It's a little late for Ash to get on the anti-Cappie bandwagon. Where was this input when Casey was trying to decide whether to get back together with Cappie or not?
• I'm sorry, what is with this commercial for Pull-Ups airing during Greek?
• Rusty: "We performed magic together. It would have been awkward."
• Rusty: "I can't see puffy paint making an impact on Dump Truck."
• Ha ha ha at Rusty bringing Dale in to shape up KT's pledges!
• OMG, Rusty just cut off that kid's toe!
• Cappie: "My, she's tall!"
• Cappie: "Apparently your brother cannot handle cutlery."
• The ZBZs sure watch a lot of television. They're my kind of girls!
• They could have burned the clipboard, but I guess they're understandably a bit leery of fire right now.
• Casey: "I remember stepping over a log at some point."
• Ha ha at Evan's wolf nose.
• Calvin: "That is the weakest Big Bad Wolf I've ever seen."
• Noooo, Grant, why did you have to come around? I just wanted rid of you.
• Evan: "They're your brothers! Get out there and support them!"
  Omega Chi brother: (pause) "Do you want to..."
  Evan: "With girls!"
  
• Fisher cheated on Ashleigh again! Fisher is such a little bitch.
  
• So is it time to finally make a go of a Rusty/Ashleigh pair? The idea still intrigues me.
  
• Casey: "We should burn down his house!"
  
• Casey: "And we got away with it until Ashleigh kept the clipboard but we couldn't keep it in the trunk because of Scrubs..."
  
• This Cappie/Casey stuff is actually kinda nice. Ok, Evan, you're so going to start messing it up next week though, right?
  
• Rebecca: "My, what a half-assed costume you have."
  
• Noooooo....Ahh, saved from an Evan/Rebecca kiss by a Casey/Cappie sighting! Phew, that was close.
  
• Cappie listened to Nora Jones and had a good cry.
  
• Jeremy wore eyeliner?
  
• HEATH!! Health was so upset about everyone getting expelled that he bombed all of his finals! Yeaaaa!
  
• If Heath really bombed all of his finals, is med school really still going to be interested in him?
  
• Can we please cut "that Grant" loose and revisit Calvin/Heath? I don't accept "he liked sports and I didn't" as an acceptable reason for them not to be together.
  
• Rusty: "The pledges can't get enough of me!"
  
• Wow, congrats to Rusty on winning the grant. But poor Dale :-(
  

Promos for the season: Ha ha, I can't wait to see whatever inspires Dale to tell Ashleigh that he can't be her boy-toy! I can, however, wait to see Evan tell Rebecca he wants to be exclusive with her. Barf.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Premiere Watch '09: Eastwick

Eastwick:

"Pilot"

It pains me to say that a show with both Paul Gross and Matt Dallas is not that great. Both of those gentlemen would land on my list of my favorite people on TV ever (if I took the time to compile such a list). My love of Matt Dallas has been documented over and over in my reviews of Kyle XY. My love of Paul Gross stems back to pre-blog times when he was on Due South, a show that is still in at least my top 10 shows ever and probably my top 5 or 6.

But Eastwick--at least this pilot episode--was no great gem. My sister hit the nail on the head about this one, saying, "The show is a hot mess but I'd watch Paul Gross in just about anything. :)"

All in all, though, I'm going to continue watching. I think there is some potential here, and the show might hit its stride in subsequent episodes. And even if it doesn't, there are worse things I could be doing for an hour on Wednesday nights than reminding myself of how much I like Paul Gross and how gorgeous Matt Dallas is.

My play-by-play:

• Ugh, it's starting with a voice over. A rather Desperate Housewives-esque voice over. (Ok, it did turn out to be a lady reading a book, which I guess makes it a little better.)
• It's Abby from Days of Our Lives!
• It's Kyle!!!!!!!
• It's Mindy O'Dell from Veronica Mars!!
• Sarah Rue and Lindsay Price! (Ok, I'm not quite as excited about those two, although I do like Lindsay going back to her 90210 days.)
• How many employees from this one newspaper did they send to this random street festival? That seems like a waste of resources. No wonder newspapers are going out of business...
• Uh, this making-a-wish-at-the-fountain thing is both cheesy and taking forever.
• The exposition of this show is painful. Paul Gross cannot show up soon enough.
• Joanna: "Oh, that's just puke."
• Joanna's got some really nice clothes for such a pathetic reporter.
• Fraser!!!!!!!!
• Darryl: "It's not really art though, is it? It's more like folk art or crafts. It's cute, but it's stunted."
• Oh, Kyle. You're so adorable.
• Wow, Kyle's 26-year-old now. That's like 8 years older than he was last spring.
• Wow, Joanna has really long hair. How does she get it all into that bun?
• Why'd that dude just brag about getting the last doughnut? That's not very classy...
• These ladies went from not liking each other to eating dinner together every night? That's a little strange.
• That's kind of a short dress for a mother of six (?) to be wearing.
• What the hell is she doing?! I know we're supposed to think Kat's husband is a loser moron, but he does bring up some good points. I don't blame the dude for being mad that he's taking care of his six kids while his wife is frolicking in the town fountain.
• Who says, "You've got no fire, no spark, no electricity!"? Only someone who has to cue a lighting strike in a contrived TV show.
• Aww, poor Kyle. Roxie doesn't want eat dinner with him? She must be a crazy person.
• If Raymond takes the kids, that leaves Kat free to hang out with her new BFFs every night.
• Joanna: "Cliff, it is not a tight squeeze in here."
• Aww, Kyle. So sweet--fixing cabinets, cooking roasts. And he's gorgeous.
• Did we need to tack on that dream about the new guy at the end of the episode? That was kind of abrupt. We probably had enough to chew on without throwing that into the pilot as well. Especially with the kicker about Darryl having a secret.

In regards to rating premiere episodes, two years ago I instated a rule that one favorite actor could only earn 5 points for a show. But, using those terms, Matt Dallas scored 5 points for Eastwick and Paul Gross scored 5 points. Plus maybe one for Abby from DOOL and 2 for Lindsay Price. So then Eastwick has a 13.0/10?! That's not going to work, so that rule has been officially thrown out.

Premiere Rating: 5.5/10

(Photo: abc.com)

Make It Or Break It: Falling Off the Beam

Make It Or Break It:
"Pilot"

I love gymnastics. I also tend to love ABC Family original shows (The Secret Life of the American Teenager being the glaring exception to that). So, therefore, I should love Make It Or Break It, an ABC Family original show about gymnastics, right? Mmm, not so much. Turns out, I kind of hated it. For both its complete lack of knowledge about gymnastics and its complete lack of the elements (humor, witty dialogue, interesting characters, etc.) that make/made shows like Greek, Kyle XY and (to a lessor extent) Wildfire so enjoyable.

Full disclosure: I've been a fan of Chelsea Hobbs since Beach Girls. I think I mainly like her because she looks like Rachel Melvin from Days Of Our Lives.

There was so much ridiculousness in this episode that I have to do a play-by-play account to document some of it:

• Whoa, the dude on still rings has some seriously floppy hair.
• There's going to be a Sports Illustrated cover on gymnasts before Nationals even happens? Yeah right. Did we learn that lesson after the Kristy Phillips situation?
• Why are they talking about "team order" at Nationals? Since when is gymnastics Nationals a team competition? (Answer: it's not.)
• Why is orange leo (Lauren) so worked up after seeing someone do a couple of back handsprings through to a single tuck on floor? She shouldn't be threatened by that.
• Ok, that 2.5 twist/punch front was a little more impressive.
• Emily watched "the Northern Open"? On TV?! Gymnastics can barely get decent coverage of Nationals on TV most years. Let's be honest here: if she saw this "Northern Open" anywhere, it almost certainly was by tapping into a Dutch television station's feed on the Internet in the middle of the night. (Yes, I'm speaking from experience.)
• Payson just did a brilliant Gainer layout off beam. (Please detect my sarcasm.) Lauren's back tuck dismount was also fantastic (eye roll).
• Oh great, Lauren's already barfing up her breakfast. We're less than 10 minutes in, and someone's already got an eating disorder.
• They're seriously concerned about losing to a girl who is afraid of the vault?
• Does everyone's entire family have to show up and watch every practice? Gymnastics lessons are expensive--don't these people have to go to their jobs?!
• Candace Cameron Bure! Playing someone religious. How surprising. Seriously, though, why's Candace with Lauren's sketchy dad?
• Payson is way over the top. She can't talk to her family because she's needs to "focus" during the car ride home?
• Uh, if "getting caught with a boy" gets you immediately kicked off the team, shouldn't Kaylie and Floppy Hair (Carter) park and make out a little further away from the gym?
• Emily: "How was the new school?"
  Brother: "Different dog, same poop."
• Emily's mom needs to be a little more organized.
• Kaylie: "If he finds out, he was kill you. No seriously, like blood-and-cops-and-teddy-bears and-candles-on-the-sidewalk kill you."
• Ooh, the boy in the pizza shop is cute! A little on the creepy side, however.
• Uh oh, the manager of the pizza shop is a meth-head.
• It also seems kind of unlikely that a gymnastics competition would start that early in the morning. (With the exception of NBC messing up the scheduling of some of the Beijing competitions so that they could be aired live in the U.S.)
• Ok, folks, gymnasts qualify for Nationals as individuals. Each gym does not get to send a team of a certain number of people.
• There's a PA announcer at an inter-gym comp?
• Kaylie was 8th in US at Nationals on uneven bars last year with a whole lot of nothing in her routine and a double tuck dismount?
• At least MIOBI got the flame leotards right. (The Inferno leos went into rotation in 2003, but the flame trend is apparently still alive and kicking.)
• Wow, Lauren did a double front dismount. That's actually a legitimate move.
• Emily also pulls out a (back) double tuck dismount (without pointing her feet).
• Just for the record: The UB scores were Payson 16.075; Kaylie 16.070; Lauren 15.325; Emily 15.100. (Lauren got screwed--she's the only one who did a legit dismount.) For reference, in last year's Olympic All-Around competition, Nastia got 16.65 and Shawn was pulling around 15.275. And they were, you know, actually doing skills.
• After floor: Payson: 31.450; Kaylie: 31.125; Lauren 30.125; Emily 30.050
• The floor tumbling was pretty weak too. You can usually see more impressive tumbling on the results show of So You Think You Can Dance.
• Oh, and NO legitimate competition would ever have people compete bars then floor then beam then vault. Olympic order is vault, bars, beam, floor.
• The Rock gym gets to send 18 people to Nationals?!?! 18!! That's like half the entire field of athletes! What kind of nonsense is this?
• Lauren: flip flop-flip flop-layout stepout (fall) on beam. A skill series rarely seen since 1996. And this is the unbelievable beam routine we've heard so much about?
• If Payton is soooooooooo focused, why is she so intently watching her competitors? Seems like that would be distracting.
• Emily nails her flip-flop, flip-flop, layout stepout like it's 1992. And caps the routine off with a full twisting back tuck dismount!? UGH. (Shawn Johnson did a full twisting double tuck dismount last year, BTW.)
• Payson 46.900; Kaylie 46.375; Emily 46.100; Lauren 43.875
• Why is Lauren "out" if Emily beats her?
• Payson's vault is the hardest in the comp and "has never been landed in competition before." Well, we sure couldn't see much of it, but it looked like a Yurchenko layout (no twists). Hate to break it to you, MIOBI, but girls are landing that vault with an extra 2.5 twists in it.
• I have NO IDEA what vault Emily was just trying to do. She was doing a front flip between her roundoff and touching the vault? What the hell is that? I don't care where the spring board is located, that wasn't going to go well.
• Waaaaaaait. Now they're doing their second vaults?! As in, they got warmed up (actually they didn't, but let's pretend), everyone vaulted, and then they are going to start from the beginning and all vault again after standing around cooling down for however long this process has taken? There better be room for more than one girl in that ambulance, because this is freaking dangerous.
• Kaylie does a Yurchenko pike (or tuck).
• Why does the mom from Fresno have a Southern accent?
• Noooooooooo! Don't let the girl who just fell on her neck go vault! These people are asking for it.
• Ohhhh, Emily was apparently trying to do a Tsukahara entry. She "nails" her Tsuk back tuck this time.
• Final results: Payson 62.250; Kaylie 60.925; Emily 60.800; Lauren 58.050
• I thought the two vault scores were supposedly averaged? There's no way that Emily's score for her second vault averaged with her 0.00 on the first one would allow her to have a higher all-around score than Lauren.
• Because I'm taking this way too seriously, I've compiled everyone's scores on all four events. For reference, I've added Nastia and Shawn's scores in the Beijing all-around. Going by MIOBI standards, I think Shawn has a serious beef with the bars judges. And Nastia needs to complain that she got a lower score on vault than Payson, despite doing the same vault with 1.5 extra twists.

• Wow, Lauren's a peach. Selling out Kaylie to get back in the top three was real classy. Of course, she learned her tactics from her father, who hired a PI to dig up dirt on Emily.
• Not surprisingly, the PI found found more juicy dirt on the head gymnastics coach than he did on the teenage girl.
• Scores of media are now camped out on Payson's front lawn. Uh huh.
• There are no other coaches in this gym? And now there's no electricity either? This place is a disaster.
• Seriously, the girl in the Playtex Sport commercial just did more bona fide gymnastics skills in this 30 second ad than all of the girls in MIOBI did in 60 minutes.

Um, I'm not impressed. If they are going to make this show this gymnastics-centric, they need to do a hell of a lot more research about how things work the world of gymnastics today. If they made the show more of a teen soap, just with some gymnastics in the background, they would have a better chance of pulling this off.

A good example of what I'm talking about is Wildfire. Yes, it was a show about horse racing. A lot of the drama and plot points came from events involved with horse racing. And, yes, Wildfire's depiction of the world of horseracing was probably no more accurate than MIOBI's depiction of gymnastics. But, when Wildfire was at its most entertaining, it was a show about Junior, Kris, Matt, Dani, their parents and the supporting characters (and sometimes the wind turbine) and horse racing just served as the background. After all, if I want to watch a horse race, I'll watch a horse race not a television show on ABC Family. And if I want to watch a gymnastics competition, I'll watch a gymnastics competition (even if I have to get up in the middle of the night and queue up the Dutch channel on the Internet). MIOBI needs to bring something else to the table.

(It occurred to me that this show would have worked soooo much better if they made it about a college gymnastics team. Then all this "team" mumbo jumbo would have made sense. As would having a "scholarship kid." And it would be cool to have some girls on the team be famous former Olympians and other girls be unknowns. But in that scenario, you wouldn't get to have the crazy stage parents, but that's no big loss in my opinion.)

Update:
After watching episode 2, "Where's Marty," I'm feeling a little better about MIOBI, because ep 2 focused more on the drama and less on the actual gymnastics. The show is still nothing to write home about, but I did enjoy Lauren's dad getting all excited about her two-foot half turn on beam. I mean, yeah, it would have been impressive if she were age 2 or 3 at the most. And the girls scaring away the creepy guys via roundoffs and back handsprings was just too ridiculous.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Pushing Daisies: Endings Are Where We Begin

Pushing Daisies:

"Kerplunk"

ABC finally got around to airing the last episode of Pushing Daisies, which was filmed months and months ago and then re-edited to make into more of a series finale-esque creature. Undeniably, "Kerplunk" was fantastic. It was super fun to get to spend some time in the high-stakes world of synchronized swimming and underwater circus acts. The Aquacade looked like one heck of a fun show--if it hadn't been for the mid-National Anthem shark attack anyway. Personally, I'm a little peeved that my half birthday came and went a few days ago without anyone presenting me with Aquacade tickets. (Not to mention that Ned gave Chuck two or three additional half birthday gifts throughout the course of the episode...I mean, geez, I got nothing.)

Anyway, the dialog was witty, the guest characters were vivid and entertaining, the emotions were genuine, and Ned (Lee Pace) looked damn cool in his sunglasses/green tie talent agent costume. What's there left to say? The episode was brilliant, the show was fantastic, and ABC sucks for taking it away from us.

While "Kerplunk" was a stellar episode, it just wasn't a satisfying series finale (why do I feel like I was just making this argument about something else?) After all, "Kerplunk" wasn't supposed to be a series finale and after-the-fact editing can only do so much. The show's trusty narrator tried to wrap up loose ends left and right in the final minutes, but I was left wanted to know more about what happens Ned and Chuck, Pushing Daisies' main protagonists (and also what the heck was up with Ned's dad, but that's another matter). I was left wondering: Are Ned and Chuck just going to spend the rest of their lives together without touching? What would that look like? And then I came up with how I would have ended the show:

In the closing montage, the narrator explains that Chuck and Ned decide to get married even though they haven't found a way around the no-touching thing. Some time later, they seek fertility treatments, and utilize in vitro insemination. (Here's where it gets complicated: would Chuck's egg die when touched by Ned's sperm? Let's say that through some television magic, it does not and we all agree not to think about it too hard.) Because no one really wants to find out if putting the fertilized eggs into Chuck would equate to Ned touching her and her re-death, they decide to use a surrogate (Olive, of course) to carry the babies. Yep, babies. In 30 weeks, 4 days, 17 hours, and 34 minutes, Olive gives birth to Chuck and Ned's healthy octuplets and the show becomes Chuck, Ned (and Olive) Plus 8. I'm pretty sure that higher order multiples would fit right into Pushing Daisies' fantastical world of pie shops and Darling Mermaid Darlings and frescorts and sunflower cars. I think it would be a perfect new beginning.

Good bye, Pushing Daisies. You were too good for the world of network TV.

(photo: ABC.com)

Glee: A Joyful Noise

Glee:

"Pilot"

Glee, a new show that is on FOX's fall schedule, debuted its pilot episode this spring to give everyone a sneak peak. After seeing many raves from critics, I decided to give the show a look. I thought the pilot was pretty good, though I'm not sure that I was as infatuated as many of the critics seemed to be. The show does display a good deal of promise, and I'll definitely watch future episodes.

Ok, I'll admit it, the real reason I watched Glee was to see Charlie from Kyle XY acting like a half-decent person. Boy, is he cute when he's not cheating on Amanda with girls who put out...

The aspect of Glee that I liked best was its witty banter (examples of which are coming up in the highlight list). The aspect I liked least about Glee was its harping on the importance of living your life passionately and following your dreams--a moral that was not-so-subtly reinforced with the big "Don't Stop Believing" production number. (As far as I'm concerned, bring on more irreverent selections like "Rehab" and fewer earnest ones like "Don't Stop Believing" and "You're the One that I Want.") The didactic nature of it all was getting kinda old.

My suggestion for future episodes would be that they make sure that the other members of the glee club are featured more in the musical numbers. The more Finn/Rachel duets we watch, the more Glee starts looking like High School Musical. And that's not quite the goal the show should be aiming for.

Highlights and my observations:

• Aww, they threw the kid with the jacket from the newest Marc Jacobs collection in the trash. That's not cool.
• Hey, look, it's Elle's dad from Heroes. He's so much better in this. (Big shocker there.)
• Will's wife won't let him have $60 a month? Who is she, Kate Gosselin? (Sorry, couldn't help that one.)
• I love this "Mr. Cellophane" kid (Kurt).
• They do have kids with some serious pipes at this school. It shouldn't be too hard to revive glee club.
• Lol, about Rachel "not knowing" which of her two gay dads is her biological father.
• Oh, ok, they just have these five kids. The choreography's not quite there, but at least they sound good. Why does glee club even need choreo anyway?
• Rachel: "Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in 'Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat' to a boy in a wheelchair?"
• Principal Figgins: "What is it with you and this club? You've got only five kids, and one of them's a cripple!"
• Ohh, who is this lady playing Schuester's wife? She looks familiar. Ok, I looked it up and she was on Heroes (playing Claire' biological mother), so that would explain the animosity that I instantly felt towards her.
• Mrs. Schuester: "But, Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day, three times a week here!"
• Sandy: "It wasn't easy though, being dismissed--and for what I was accused of! My long distance girlfriend in Cleveland nearly broke up with me. ...Oh, God, don't you love a good monkey?"
• Lol, drug-dealing Sandy is taking a page out of Walter White's playbook.
• Sue (cheerleading coach): "High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks, your popular kids: penthouse. The invisibles and the kids who play live action druids and trolls out in the forest: bottom floor."
  Will: "And where to the glee kids fall?"
  Sue: "Sub-basement."
• Ken (football coach): "I can't see any of my guys joining glee club. Last month, they held down one of their teammates and shaved off his eyebrows, just because he watches Grey's Anatomy."
• The football players signed up someone named "Butt Lunch" on the glee club sign-up sheet.
• Will: "You'll get kicked out of school. You'll lose your football scholarship."

  Finn: "Wait, I have a football scholarship? To where?"
• Aww, poor Finn. Framed and backmailed into joining the glee club.
• Why did Will marry this woman? I am at a complete loss.
• Ah, so he was the high school "golden boy" and she was head cheerleader. Even so, that is no explanation/excuse for marrying this psycho woman.
• Finn lying to his teammate, saying that his mom had prostate surgery.
• I love the other school's glee club singing "Rehab." They're not doing a great job of lip-syncing though.
• Whoa, Finn's one teammate (the one who looked up that chicks don't have prostates) looks like he's at least 30. Or 40...
• Um, is crazy wife really pregnant or is this just her way to get him to quit the teaching job?
• Kurt: "You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof."
• Rachel didn't out do herself with this choreography. It frankly looks like there's no choreo going on at all.
• I think they're going to need to better utilize the four other members of this group if they're going to win Nationals.
• The previews for the episodes coming up in the fall made them look better than this pilot.

(photo: FOX.com)

Gossip Girl: Swindler's List

Gossip Girl:
"Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes"

I didn't like this episode as much as the last one. This Nate/Blair stuff is arduous at best. Who are they kidding? They do not even seem to like each other.

Also, Rufus=always the stupidest guy in the room. Hey, maybe he could have left his gallery on the market for, oh, more than ONE DAY before throwing in the towel? If nobody wants it for the list price (which was three times what he paid for it), how about lowering the price a bit? Or, you know, he could just screw it and give all his money to some sleazy dude who's dating his son's ex-girlfriend. I guess that works too. Dumbass.

And then there's Vanessa, who just sucks the life out of everything all the time. Why is there no talk of her going far, far away to college?

Highlights and thoughts:

• Blair: "NYU? What was I thinking? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair!"
• Blair Waldorf on the subway! Lol.
• Wow, that gallery is worth a lot. Enough to pay for Dan's college and Jenny's college and to keep Rufus in flannel shirts until he figures out what to do next?
• Blair: "Rats go underground, not Waldorfs."
• Blair: "How's the foreigner?"
  Serena: "Blair, Gabriel's from North Carolina. That's in the United States."
  Blair: "Not by choice! Let me remind you about a little thing called the Civil War."
• Ah, Chuck Bass in basketball attire. It's been awhile.
• Chuck: "Say the word, and she can crash with me."
• Yeah, this "new business" of Gabriel's is all kinds of made up.
• Chuck: "Blair, I see you're wearing your beret. Who are you spying on tonight?"
• Ugh, Vanessa. I was hoping she wasn't going to come back.
• Blair: "He fell in love with you while you were roofied! How romantic!"
• Nate's looking all kinds of paranoid here, but he does have a point when he says, "With you two, it's always a big deal."
• Nate: "I don't want you to go near her again. I mean that."
  Chuck: (phone rings) "Oh look, it's Blair. I think I'll take this one outside."
• Blair: "I thought if I proved the North Caroliar was cheating with his ex that would be it, but she fell for his business meeting excuse. Monkey business, more likely!"
  Chuck: "With Serena and Poppy both fighting over the banana."
• Chuck: "No one's killing anyone. It's a co-op cocktail party!"
• Oh, this whole fight scene between Gabriel and Poppy is soooooo staged.
• Blair: "Well, I guess he really likes you. At least now we know!"
• Rufus allows random underage girls to drink in his apartment while he's not there? Parent of the year, that guy is.
• It was amusing when Dan gagged when Vanessa said, "I never slept with Chuck Bass twice," during the game of "I Never."
• Jenny has the longest, skinniest legs ever.
• Why would Chuck handle this by himself, Nate? Like Chuck really cares that Serena's getting played.
• Doesn't Chuck get a say in whether or not Bass Industries invests with this clown?
• So, I would like to see how Chuck and Blair's mid-sleep hand holding was initiated.
• Blair: "I can't believe had have to see my sworn enemy with Nancy Pelosi hair!"
• Chuck: "But then again we all know your weakness for limos."
• So Serena waited until after having sex with Gabriel to ask the probing question to see if he was really lying about meeting her at Butter. Couldn't have done that right after Blair brought it up?
• Georgina: "Ooh, yeah, I've been praying overtime for that one."
• Oh no, Blair left Chuck stranded at the Christian camp! What kind of a driver leaves the man who employs him stranded in the middle of nowhere?
• Gabriel: "And what the hell is Butter?" (Ha ha ha, Butter must have really bought off one of the Gossip Girl higher ups. They get mentioned more than Sour Patch Kids did during vintage episodes of Kyle XY.)
• Oh, stupid Rufus.
• Georgina: "Say hi for me! I have so much love in my heart for that girl!"
• So is it bad that I want Georgina to go to NYC and open a can of whup-ass on Blair Waldorf? Somebody needs to--the girl needs to wise up about this Nate situation ASAP.
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Coming Home

Greek:

"Take Me Home, Cyprus Rhodes"

Greek = the reason I can't boycott ABC Family due to its crap treatment of Kyle XY. I am emotionally incapable of not watching this show. It just makes me so happy. My cheeks actually hurt after I watch an episode of Greek because it makes me smile the whole time.

As glad as I am that Rusty's freshman year is finally over (longest. school year. ever), it's all kinds of depressing that they're starting fall semester. Ick. I hate fall. Could we have done Greek: Summer School instead?

Best parts of the episode: Everything with Dale and also Cappie mentioning that he watches Jon and Kate Plus 8. At some point, I need to compile a list of all the shows that Cappie and I both watch.

I tried to write down all the funny quotes in this episode, but it was a battle. Whenever I was trying to write one quote down, somebody would say three more funny things. Here's what I got (mixed with some of my observations):

• Aww, Rusty was a camp counselor! How sweet.
• Vinny van Lowe! Greek continues its fascination with Veronica Mars. (They've already had Deputy Leo on the show. Plus there's that whole "Beaver"-as-a-name thing that really ticked me off at first.)
• Rusty: "I guess you could say that when it comes to little boys, I have the touch... That's not what I meant."
• Rusty: "Now go out there and proudly spread your seed! ...I'm really not sure what's wrong with me today."
• Max! He's so cute.
• Casey's internship blouse is awesome!
• Max told Casey that his Cal-Tech grant money fell through. Eesh. Like the truth isn't going to come out...
• Casey's keeping secrets from Ashleigh? Uh oh.
• Frannie's new sorority is called IKI. Casey: "Icky?"
• Beav arrives carrying beer flavored popsicles.
• Wow, Rusty did an impressive job of soundproofing his room.
• Did Rebecca switch sororities just so she could watch Frannie flounder? She seems to enjoy watching people squirm so much.
• Casey: "Last year, two girls almost came to blows over whether Cameron Diaz looks better as a blonde or brunette. And, yes, those two girls were Ashleigh and me."
• Cappie: "We just finished our nightly--morningly?--1 a.m. power nap. Morningly?"
  Beav: "Morningly."
• DALE!!!!!!!
• Dale: "I have to fight off a surly mechanical engineer to get this spot. I told him to build a bridge...and get over it."
• Dale's new roommate is deathly pale, has a weird, unplaceable accent and wrote a Dale thank you note for making his own bed!
• Rusty: "Are you aware that's how you used to talk about going to church?"
• Ben Bennett's banking on the fact that pepperoni doesn't go bad.
• Cappie: "Beaver has just hit his 14-month developmental milestones!"

  Beaver: "I can drink through a straw!"
• It would seriously mess up the show, but I think Casey taking a break from ZBZ might not be a bad idea. It would certainly cut down on the drama in her life. Aww, but poor Ashleigh. She looks so sad.
• Rusty: "And don't you find the diet of smoked meats constipating?"
• Evan! I've even missed you! Let's hope you really are back to the nicer version of yourself.
• Calvin: "If you mess with Rusty again, I will have to kick your ass." (It's about time, Cal. Where the hell were you when he hit Rusty in the face with a paddle?)
• Cappie: "...drinking beer, watching the full series of Full House on DVD."

  Casey: "Is that what you did all summer?"

  Cappie: "Of course not. I also watched Jon and Kate Plus 8. It's amazing how they make it all work."
• Yes, Cappie, senior year is short for most people. For you guys, I suspect that senior year will last for at least 5 mini seasons. I'm sure it will seem plenty long.
• Rusty (to the opossum): "This is supposed to be a single."
• Dale: "Yeah. I thought smelled the dung of a mid-sized marsupial."
• Ash: "This was a brilliant idea, Case. And not just because it gave me an opportunity to wear my camo booty shorts."
• Casey: "The other interns came with years of political knowledge. I came with subtle highlights and the ability to make a silly skit about almost anything. ...Worst of all, they called me Elle Woods."
• Rusty: "Hey guys! I just had an epiphany."

  Beav: "Aw, man. Did it get on the seats?"
• Casey: "I just met a Canadian guy who was looking for a roommate. He was really nice."

  Dale: "This Canuck is relentless!"
• AHAHAHAHA! The building manager lady winked at Dale! OMG, that was hilarious.
• I'm glad that Dale and Rusty are going to be roommates again, but I wish we'd gotten to meet Dale's Canadian roommate. That guy sounds awesome.
• Dale (to Casey): "I have no problem being your submissive. I have no problem being submissive...to you."
• So, Evan, are you rethinking this whole Frannie thing yet? Because you know it's not worth it.
• Ashleigh: "Rebecca, you could have picked the handicapped stall!"
• Yeah, I saw it coming that Rebecca is actually a spy in Frannie's house. Still not sorry that Casey told her off.
• Ashleigh has a crush on the dean! That's Cameron from Ferris Bueller, right?

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Kyle XY: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Kyle XY:
"Bringing Down the House"

This episode of Kyle XY was a great hour of television. But it wasn't a series finale. If anything, it was a let's-crack-this-baby-wide-open-because-we've-got-a-couple-more-seasons-of-story-to-tell type of episode.

But the reality is that Kyle XY isn't going to get the chance to tell us a few more seasons worth of stories. This fantastic episode with a rather wild cliffhanger is all we're going to get. And that just sucks.

Let me wipe the I-miss-Kyle-already tears out of my eyes and get on with the episode's highlights:

• I don't really understand Cassidy's "blackmail" on Kyle. Kyle's family wouldn't blame him if he had actually accidentally killed Jessi (when she was trying to kill Cassidy). I think they all understand that Jessi can be unstable and that Kyle would try to keep her from hurting someone. Cassidy doesn't have much of a leg to stand on here.
• Oh, this Kyle/Jessi thing is not going away. That was a very tight hug.
• Holy hell, Kyle's not wearing a shirt! Well, if this is the last episode of Kyle XY ever, at least we get to ogle Kyle's bare chest for awhile. It seems that the people in charge have stumbled onto a very effective way of placating me...
• LOL at Jessi talking about Kyle's pectoral muscles.
• Kyle: "Your hand...it feels nice." (My goodness.)
• AHAHAhahaha! The face Kyle gave Jessi after she told him that the "charge" he felt was his libido was hysterical. Too funny for words. I seriously need to obtain a screencap of him making that face.
• Ha! It was also amusing when Nicole walked in on Jessi and Kyle with half his shirt on. Not a very smooth cover up there from Kyle.
• Jessi: "I'll be in the other room pretending to be dead."
• Josh: "Can anyone help me figure out how to throttle my girlfriend long distance?"
• Josh really should have been more careful to hide the fact that Andy slept over when he was ranting. He should be very grateful to Kyle for keeping his parents preoccupied with other matters so that they are completely ignoring his indiscretions.
• Jessi: "We can access the city police's thermal imaging scans. Like how they find the people growing the weed!"
  Kyle: "The weed?"
  Jessi: "Yeah, the blaze. The herb. Chronic."
  Kyle: "Where'd you pick that up?"
  Jessi: "Cable."
• Wow, Amanda remembers the number the Ouija board gave them when Kyle asked it his birthday. I forgot that even happened.
• Kyle's getting a lot of action today. First Jessi felt him up, now Amanda kissed him.
• Kyle: "How was it possible to feel electricity for one person, and butterflies for another?" (And, more importantly, which is better?)
• Jessi: "And dead girls get stuck in the house doing thermal scans of Seattle's industrial district."
• Wow, now Nate's making fun of people's mothers? He's just full of charm.
• Doesn't Latnok have security cameras? Kyle's kind of ripping apart their computers in plain sight.
• Ha, Jessi identified the bacteria in Josh's cup.
• Kyle's burning Adam's journals on the barbecue grill?
• Oh, Kyle's just lying to the bad guys, Nicole. It's not that big of a deal.
• Kyle: "Thanks for coming with me."
  Declan: "Are you kidding? Being your lookout? Breaking into someone's apartment? It's like the old days. I'd be pissed if you hadn't have asked me."
• Declan can pick locks now?
• Kyle: "Isn't that breaking and entering?"
  Declan: "It was ok when it was just entering?"
  
• OMG! There are going to be hundreds of cloned Kyles running around?! And the show's ending now?! Nooooo!!! I want to see all the Kyles!
  
• Whoa--Kyle and Jessi kissing made the lights explode!
  
• Hmm, maybe Nicole does have a solid argument about this no-Kyle-and-Jessi-dating-while-living-in-her-house thing. They're going to blow out all her lamps and electrical appliances. That could get expensive.
  
• Andy has brothers?
  
• Ugh, Kyle has to squirt this bacteria stuff into all these different tanks? How time consuming...
  
• Nice standing high jump, Kyle!
  
• Jessi: "I imagine you're not dropping off another lasagna."
  
• Jessi: "Unfortunately, you're going to have to do it."
  Amanda: "What? Break into his room and steal his files?"
  Jessi: "I was thinking firebomb, but okay."
  
• Wow, Kyle can reverse gravity. Or at least stall it. That's fantastic.
  
• Hey, Mark, thanks. You've turned into quite a helpful guy.
  
• Ha, well, Amanda's secretly kind of badass :-)
  
• Geez! That's quite the taser Cassidy's got there.
  
• This Cassidy fellow has quite the mommy complex.
  
• Nice punch, Kyle!
  
• So "the old Kyle" wouldn't have done whatever it takes to protect Amanda and the Tragers? I disagree.
  
• Whoaaaa, huh?! Kyle's as-of-yet unmentioned mother is Cassidy's mother?! Cassidy is his brother?! Aaaand, that's it?! Yep, there was no conclusion here at all. Arrrrgh.
  

So, um, wow. Kyle has a mother. Who knew? Personally, since I was under the impression that Adam and Sarah were a couple, I would have thought that Adam's son would also be Sarah's son (if he had an actual mother at all), but apparently that is not the case. And I guess we should be heartily thankful for that because otherwise we'd be watching a lot of Kyle/Jessi incest. But why has this woman not been mentioned before? Shouldn't Adam have warned Kyle that he has a crazy-ass mother out there somewhere?

And then there's the Amanda/Jessi debacle. Who does he pick? Kyle doesn't know, and I can't say that I have the answer either. I've always been on the Kyle/Amanda team. And I'm usually a stick-with-the-love-interest-the-show-started-with type of girl. But it's undeniable that Jessi has turned out to be all kinds of awesome. She was freaking hilarious in this episode. And she and Kyle definitely have a certain spark that the extremely chaste Kyle/Amanda relationship tended to lack. Sorry, Kyle, I don't know what to tell you to do.

Another disappointing aspect of this "series finale" is that we didn't get much of an opportunity to say goodbye to any of the characters that we've come to know over the years. Somewhat understandably, Kyle's mission consumed most of the episode, not leaving much time for the other characters to further their own stories. Josh had a pretty nice storyline with Andy. Nicole did get to express her love and concern for Kyle. It was cool that Declan popped up for a little illegal activity. But Lori was barely in this episode at all! And Lori is easily one of the best parts of this whole show.

When a television series is canceled prematurely and a movie is out of the question, it is often suggested that the story be continued (and ultimately resolved) in a comic book. I think this would be a perfect medium for Kyle XY. I mean, this story practically reeks of comic book fodder. And, I for one, would like to know what happens with all of this stuff, even if I can't watch it resolved on television. It wouldn't even have to be an actual comic book either--ABC Family could just post it on its Web site. Don't they owe us some closure? (Posted on the Web site now is a fairly detailed discussion of the show's long-term plans. Personally, I would still like to see how it would all play out.)

The main downside to a comic book: we won't get to see Matt Dallas's beautiful face (and body). Oh, Kyle, I miss you already.

(photo: abcfamily.com)


P.S. Remember when all episodes of Kyle XY had to somehow work in a reference to Sour Patch Kids? Those were the days... Bye, Kyle.

Kyle XY: Kyle of the Pure and Beautiful Soul

Kyle XY:

My thoughts on the third-to-last and second-to-last episodes of the series.

"The Tell-Tale Heart"

Kyle and Jessi spend some intense moments in the bathtub trying to figure out what really happened to Jessi's mom.

• Oh, geez. Frankly I'm surprised that Amanda didn't walk into to see Kyle and Jessi hugging, etc. She normally gets to witness that sort of behavior.
• The Tragers don't mind if two of their kids cuddle all night?
• I didn't know that Kyle could sleep out of the tub.
• Why didn't Steven bother to explain to Josh why letting Andy move in with them is not a option? He just said no and left it at that, which seemed dumb and mean.
• Jessi: "I can make him tell us what he knows."
  Kyle: "That not acting normal."
  Jessi: "It is for me."
• Declan walking in on Lori while she was dancing was funny.
• Lori: "For all I know, she lured him out of the house to some remote cabin to turn him into her love slave."
• Kyle should have come up with a more interesting distraction than a computer program.
• Declan's actually cracking me up in this episode.
• How did Declan not foresee that locking Lori and Hillary up together would eventually backfire on him?
• Lori (to Hilary): "Maybe you should think twice before leaving home with half an outfit."
• Well, Kyle, you're not really invading Jessi's privacy if you were there for all of the memories in the first place.
• Shut up about Kyle and Adam Baylin, Amanda! Geez--this is why Kyle can't tell you anything; you have no filter.
• Seriously, Nicole, what kind of doctor are you going to call to help Jessi?
• It sucks that it turned out that Jessi's mom is dead, but on the bright side, Jessi did get to spend a lot of time in the tub with Kyle.
• Screenwriting 101: If you introduce the materials for a food fight in an episode, they've got to be put to use before the episode is over.
• There must have been lots of storage space on Sarah's disposable cell phone.
• Oh, Nicole, like you didn't see the Kyle/Jessi kiss coming. You should have, anyway.

"Guess Who's Coming to Dinner"

The Children of the Pod enact a plan to find out why Cassidy killed Sarah and what Latnok is really up to.

• Oh geez! Jessi's sleep-choking Kyle! Dude, enter her bedroom at your own risk...
• Oh, Amanda, it's looking like you're toast. This Kyle/Jessi thing does not seem to be going away.
• Spock ears are going to impress Andy?
• Shouldn't Kyle and Nicole have made sure that they were having this conversation somewhere that Jessi wouldn't overhear it? I mean, the girl hears everything.
• Why does Nate partnering with Kyle on a project ingratiate him with Amanda? It wouldn't impress me much. If anything, I think I'd be uncomfortable that my new boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend were spending time together. But I am not Amanda...
• Oh, Jessi, yes, you are as fragile as Nicole thinks.
• Jessi: "Kyle kissed me."
  Lori: "Eew."
• Lori: "Because it's Kyle of the pure and beautiful soul, and we want whats best for him."
• See, Jessi? You are fragile. Everything everybody says upsets you immensely.
• Andy: "It makes me sad to think that his ambition might stop when I leave." Wow, Andy, you're kind of full of yourself, aren't you?
• Wow, Andy's moms just create one annoying situation after another for their poor daughter, don't they?
• Hold on--Cassidy's first name is Michael? As in Michael Cassidy of The O.C., Hidden Palms and Privileged? If that's really his name, couldn't we just have had Michael Cassidy play him?
• I like Lori's outfit. It looks very professional. Oh, except for the visible bra straps.
• Ugh, Jessi. Why must you be like this?
• Lori doesn't eat cooked fruit?
• Eew. Nicole is worried about Kyle and Jessi being romantically involved while living in the same house, but meanwhile Josh is having sex with his girlfriend in a coffee shop? Eew.
• Oh, come on! It's not Jessi's fault that she killed the hunter! She didn't know what was going on. She had just gotten out of the pod, and she was alone.
• Kyle, if there's ever a time to tell someone to get the hell out of your house, now's it.
• Cassidy: "You've spent an excessive amount of time being her anchor. That's got to be draining."
• Um, Cassidy, I'd watch where you're going. You know Jessi's going to come after you, right?
• Oh, Josh and Andy are sneaking into his house to have sex. That's a little better than doing it right in the coffee shop, I guess...if for no other reason than it has to be a major health code violation.
• Cassidy: "You need help."

  Jessi: "Actually, I think you do."
• Jessi has quite a future as a torturer...
• Whoa, how did Kyle throw Jessi against the wall just by holding his hand up? And how would that kill her? Jessi should be able to stand up to a lot more than that...
• Ahh! It's all an elaborate trick! And Foss is in on it! Yea, Foss!
• Wow, Cassidy is dumb if he can be fooled by two pod kids who are unable to lie.
• Kyle: "I hadn't had much experience with lying. But when it was necessary, it turned out I was good at it."

I can't believe there's only one more episode of Kyle XY left. It feels like there is way too much left to resolve. I mean, we don't even know who Cassidy's Latnok bosses are, so taking down the whole organization in one episode seems like too tall of an order. Plus there's the whole Kyle/Jessi/Amanda situation, which seems like it will need a couple more years to fully play out into any sort of conclusion. And Lori and Declan seem like they might be sliding back into like with each other, but getting them back together in one episode would seem like it was rushing things.

This article indicates that we're not going to get the full closure we'd like, since the Kyle XY producers didn't know the show was going to be canceled after this season. Seems like ABC Family could have at least given them a heads-up so that they could give the show a proper ending. I certainly think that ABC Family owes at least that much to this show, which was instrumental in establishing a new brand for the network. Wildfire met a similar situation last year, and--while the ending was a little rushed--at least that show was able to reach acceptable conclusions for most of its main plot points. It doesn't look like Kyle will be as lucky, and we Kyle fans will just have to take whatever resolution we can get.

No matter how the series wraps up, I know I'll be sad to say goodbye to Kyle.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Damages: Looking in Closets

Damages: "Uh Oh, Out Come the Skeletons"

Boy, could this episode title apply to every single episode of Damages ever!

The play-by-play:

• Nooooo, Ellen, don't go to Wes' up-state cabin!
• So what's the secret angle involving the FBI Agent #1's divorce? Because there's seriously something up with that.
• Whoa! FBI Agent #1 was watching Ellen's "6 month later" conversation with Patty! (And the subsequent gun shots!)
• I'm glad that the FBI guys don't understand this energy trading scheme either.
• So, Patty's son (Michael) didn't actually apply to colleges (I'm speculating on that one), and he has a secret girlfriend? I figured he had to be up to some shenanigans by now. The kid is trouble.
• Why do Stan and Walter always seem to meet in the bathroom?
• Um, is Claire showing a bit too much boob for a work function? She looks like freaking Serena van der Woodsen on a trip to Yale!
• Ahh, yes, Walt's integrity is just astounding.
• Holy moly, is that Michael's girlfriend? She's awesome!
• I thought "Pam's" phone voice sounded a little manly in that earlier scene. So what's this dude (FBI Agent #1) up to?
• Oh, yeah, I forgot that Ellen had the same mom at George O'Malley.
• Pathmark! They have those in Delaware! Where does Ellen's family live?
• You can't tell your employees to "live their lives on their own time" one second and then ask them personal questions the next, Patty!
• Phil: "So what are we thinking? Schizoid? Skinhead? Scientologist?"
• Holy crap, that's not the fun piercing girl! This lady's like 40! (Ph. D. in 1988? Is that what she said? That makes her, what, 45? She doesn't look 45. I hope I misheard.)
• At least Claire is displaying less cleavage for the lunch with her father. Well, marginally less cleavage anyway.
• If you're trying to pull something shady, you probably shouldn't live with another FBI agent.
• Who wants to know stuff about the Patty Hewes investigation? Is it Patty? Is that how she knew about the infant mortality case? I don't think she knew for sure what was up with that though. Maybe it's Tom? Holy crap, would it be nice to see Tom not just being Patty's doormat for once!
• Patty: "Mention that name to your boss, and whatever settlement figure he's authorized, tell him to triple it. Then we'll start boring each other from there." (Patty, being badass again.)
• Katie!!!!!
• Ellen sexed-up her hair to go out.
• Oh no, Drunk Ellen is bad news. It's nice to see her acting like something other than a balled-up wad of nerves for a change, but this is kind of a disaster.
• Wow, Daniel and Claire aren't as dumb as they look. They figured this whole energy trading scheme out extremely quickly. (And, added bonus, I now understand it too! Yea!)
• Thank goodness the only person who went home with Ellen was Katie! I love Katie's sweater.
• Don't talk to Katie, Ellen! I love the girl, but she has no filter! She just blurts out all the important secrets at the drop of a hat (like Amanda from Kyle XY).
• Well, if that wasn't a tacit admission from Walter that Aracite is toxic, I don't know what is.
• Ugh, Michael's lady friend (cougar) is annoying.
• Patty: "You will break his heart, and when you do, I'll rip your face off."
• Eeew! Who was the unfortunate sap who had to watch Claire and Daniel getting busy? Yucko.
• Oh dear, who were the people in the FBI Agent #2's house?
• Hey, Ellen, check in Wes' closet while you're there!
• It does sound like Ellen's rocking a southern accent in this scene (just like I thought last week when they showed the previews)! "I'm gonna lose my mind!" She sounds like Blanche DuBois!
• Well, it's not the end of the world that she's telling this to Wes, since he already knows it all anyway (more or less). If anything, it might score her some sympathy with him and make him less inclined to off her.
• Rick! Scruffy's name is Rick!
• Hmm, what did Wes do that Scruffy Rick knows about that would send him to jail for the rest of his life?
• So Stan is paying off FBI Agent #1 and killed FBI Agent #2? Who the hell is this guy, anyway?
• There goes my hope that Tom's not being a doormat for once...
• Ok.....Did Ellen shoot Patty but not thoroughly enough to prevent her from stumbling out to the elevator in a daze? Or did Ellen shoot somebody else whose blood Patty got on her hands before she stumbled out to the elevator? Oh, but in this episode before-the-theme-song clip, both Ellen and Patty confirm that it is "just the two of [them]" in the room. (Unless they're both trying to hide the presence of someone else...) This is soooooooo complicated. It's amazing how they can show you what happened, but you still don't know what the hell's going on.
• In any event, you gotta love the symmetry of Patty now ending up bloody in Ellen's elevator, as last season's iconic image was Ellen bloody in Patty's elevator.
• I'm confused about something else (HUGE understatement). Ellen was approached by the FBI before any of this UNR stuff existed. So the FBI was after Patty pre-UNR. Stan's interest seems to be with UNR. Was he paying off the FBI guy pre-Patty/UNR? Why did he want to see Patty go down before she even started messing with UNR?

Wow, there are only three more episodes left in this season! So something will start making sense soon, right? Nah, that's probably wishful thinking.

Kyle XY: The Epic Post

Kyle XY:
I've been slacking off on both writing blog posts and watching Kyle XY, but I'm going to remedy that right now with this epic Kyle XY post. Four episodes, one post!

"In the Company of Men"
Classic. Turns out Drunk Kyle is all kinds of hilarious. His inebriated state reminded me of the good old days when he was completely socially inept and said and did inappropriate things all the time.

• Ugh--Josh trying to foist his porn magazines off on broken-hearted Kyle. Could Josh be any creepier?
• I loved when Nicole walked in on Jessi preparing to wipe Amanda completely out of Kyle's memory via some kind of electroshock therapy a la Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. Kyle was just sitting there looking so glum.
• Foss! Goodness, I'd forgotten all about him.
• Um, if they were trying to cheer Kyle up and get his mind off his breakup with Amanda, they probably shouldn't have taken him right to the coffeehouse where Amanda works. When Kyle isn't thinking for these people, they sure do act dumb.
• Jessi has such a quick temper.
• I'm glad Declan didn't let Josh drink. Josh is bad enough sober. And even if the bartenders don't check IDs, who would ever think Josh looks old enough to drink?
• Kyle should be used to girls smiling at him by now. I mean, it must happen constantly.
• Kyle: "I tried that once and I did not like it."
• Kyle: "Ha ha, I don't get it."
• Eew, Andy doesn't wear deodorant! Ok, now that I think about it, that doesn't surprise me.
• Kyle: "I haven't thought about Amanda for 6 minutes and 43 seconds."
• Dancing Kyle!!
• It was so cute/funny when Kyle told the boys he loves them.
• Hey, Jessi's right--the Latnok guy is too old for her.
• I would have thought that Kyle could sing better than this. I mean, he is something of a musical genius after all.
• Kyle's drunk antics were hilarious: arm wrestling, showing off his still impeccable motor skills, etc. Definitely went too far when he started showing off his ability to telepathically control electricity, however. That's something you should probably keep under your hat.
• Kyle: "I have enjoyed bonding with you."
• Kyle: "Oh, Mr. Grumpy!"
• Girl: "You're like a magician or something!"
  Kyle: "Nope, I was born in a pod. I'm a science experiment."
• Kyle: "You've been trying to call me what?"
• Josh: "Oh man, now my butt smells like cabbage."
• I hope Nicole shreds her old patient files instead of just leaving them loose in the garbage can. Especially Kyle's and Jessi's.
• Kyle busting through the fence instead of going over it was hilarious.
• So Kyle can alter the polarity of his liver.
• Why is it so eerily dark and creepy right outside the coffee shop's entrance? Eesh.
• Oh, Declan's pissy because of his ankle? Who knew? He looks like he's walking around ok to me...
• Ok, I know I can be pretty harsh toward Josh, but I must give credit where credit is due: anyone who can use the phrase "Kyle's humongous ralph" in a sentence without dying of laughter is pretty impressive.
• Cassidy: "She's a bit icy, isn't she?"
• Yeah, Kyle, you have already lost Amanda, so you don't have anything to lose by telling her the truth about your past in the pod. I rarely agree with Declan, and even more rarely agree with both Declan and Josh, but they've got a point here.
• Adam died?! Oh my. I've got to say that his initial reaction to hearing that news was hands down some of the best acting I've seen from Matt Dallas.
  

"Life Support"
The world's most sarcastic pregnant lady causes Kyle, Nicole and Josh to get into a car accident. For Kyle's next trick, he delivers a baby in the woods and then saves Nicole's life.

• Nicole: "When someone you love dies, it can take a while to make sense of it all."
  Josh: "Yeah, especially since Baylin technically died twice."
• Geez, Kyle, where are your heightened reflexes now? Can't he sense the presence of people and objects for miles? If Kyle ended up that far into the woods, I'd hate to see what would have happened if a normal person had been driving.
• Can't Kyle just pull the whole car up the hill? He has super strength.
• Hey, people, didn't we learn anything from the car accident that just happened? Don't stand in the middle of the street!
• Ha, the feisty pregnant chick just called Kyle a "dumb little bunny."
• Jessi: "You shouldn't wear this color; it looks better on me."
• Josh: "Lucky for you, Kyle's an expert at wood births."
• I think Kyle should run somewhere really, really fast and get help. He could be back before too much time has gone by.
• Gretchen: "Really? You have ultrasound hands?"
• Dude, Gretchen is having a quick labor. On TV shows, why is it that women who go into labor in the woods or in an elevator or somewhere that's not a hospital always have the baby so much faster than women who are in a hospital?
• Ha, did Gretchen just call Josh "excitable sidekick"? She's good at making up funny nicknames.
  
• Kyle's going to stimulate the baby with a little charge?! Kyle and Jessi really are putting this new electricity trick to a lot of use.
• Gretchen: "I'm going to name him 'dumb little bunny' after you!"
• Gretchen: "I hope he has an inny. Outy belly buttons are just weird."
  Josh: "Just be glad he has one."
• Steven: "You're better than this."
  Lori: "Am I? Because I sort of thought I was the one who picked fights and then stood around like an idiot while everyone else solved the problem."
• This doctor guy in charge doesn't wonder why he's never seen Kyle before?
• Too bad we can't solve Nicole's health issues by just giving her an electrical shock. Kyle knows how to do that. Oh, hey, he is going to give it a try.
• The Trager kids sure are beating up the equipment in the hospital waiting room.
• Hmm, here's some more proof that Latnok is not evil: they blackmail a kid by withholding medicine that will save his mother's life until he agrees to join them. Yep, that's just all kinds of honorable.
• O true Baylin, thy fluid is quick!
  

"Welcome to Latnok"
Kyle becomes the cutest boy to ride on a hoverboard since Harry Osborne (James Franco) in Spider-Man 3.

• Amanda: "Even though we're not... it doesn't mean you have to give up smoothies. I'd still make you one if you wanted me to."
  Kyle: "Amanda, I still like smoothies."
• Amanda: "How about lasagna?"
  Kyle: "A lasagna smoothie?"
• Whoa, Jessi's rocking a strapless top!
• Jessi: "What's the point of dumping you if she still wants to talk?"
• Hey, Lori still plays the guitar. It's been awhile.
• Lori: "I'm writing a song for my mom."
  Jessi: "Don't you want her to feel better?"
• Lori: "Don't you have anything else you could be doing? Like magically lighting small animals on fire."
• Jessi: "I need a favor."
  Lori: "And you've teed it up so successfully."
• I thought Lori and Jessi were going to be nice to each other. This is not working out so well.
• Nathanial Harrison is kind of hunky for a science genius.
• Cassidy: "He thinks I'm an idiot because I have the IQ of a normal person. I don't take it personally--I've got better hair."
• I'm not buying into this Latnok crap.
• Wait, Lori's boyfriend cleared $180,000 last year? Holy crap, I take it back: Latnok's awesome. Ha.
• Lori: "I could stand on the street corner with my guitar."
  Josh: "You'd do better without the guitar."
• A hoverboard competition? How convenient! Are there really hoverboard competitions?
• Josh: "I blackmailed them out of Lori."
  Andy: "What do you have on Lori?"
  Josh: "Nothing. I just inferred things. She's a very guilty person."
• Eew, Josh is going to rent out Jessi's apartment as a sex house? Yuck.
• Wow, Jessi is a disaster at keeping secrets. Disaster.
• Why doesn't Josh tell his friends to cancel their appointments by calling his cell phone?
• Wow, Lori caved. She's getting to be as bad as Jessi at keeping secrets.
• Why in the hell would Nate be surprised that Kyle has a girlfriend? Look at Kyle, people!
• Kyle is mad sexy when he's peeved.
• Kyle's going to make a hoverboard out of stereo speakers?
• Lori: "You know Kyle. Loves to have fun with science!"
• Um, Kyle, let Jessi help. The more geniuses involved with this, the better.
• I like how Kyle's wearing all these pads to ride the hoverboard when he could totally jump off the roof and land on the driveway and be just fine.
• Wow, how did Jessi just buy magnets from an online supplier and have them already? They were shipped to her the same afternoon she bought them? Holy crap. I would not be too surprised if she's lying and she did really get them from Latnok. It's either that or she knows something about online shopping that I don't.
  
• I still can't believe that there are hoverboard competitions.
  
• Kyle's not wearing his crash pads.
• Josh: "I hope that thing doesn't explode. 'Experimental' and 'prototype' are just synonyms for 'kaboom'."
• $50,000 for that?
• Sorry, Andy, I don't think Cleveland is worse than cancer. Having to move sucks, yes, but let's not be overly dramatic here. After all, there was a whole 30 Rock episode devoted to how awesome Cleveland is. We're all models west of the Allegheny.
  
• Didn't Kyle wonder where the lasagna came from?
• Wow, I know Kyle = extremely dense, but this takes the cake. After all this time, he seriously had no idea that Jessi didn't want him to be with Amanda and wanted him for herself? It's not like she ever even tried to pretend like that that's not how she felt.
  

"Chemistry 101"
Kyle and Jessi invent a kick-ass pheromone necklace that could make them even more money than that silly old hoverboard. And Kyle again makes the superhero's choice and decides that he can't let the girl in on his secrets.

• Jessi: "...or it may have been ebola."
• Josh: "What? Is it my fault Cleveland is so lame?"
• Jessi's wearing another tube top. I guess she's found her signature look.
• Wow, a scene with just Kyle, Amanda, and Nate is awkward. Not the most natural of actors, those three.
• Kyle: "How could Amanda want to go out with such a...such a jerk!"
  Lori: "Kyle! Language, please!"
• Nate is not that hot of a dirtbag. I've seen much hotter dirtbags.
• Jessi: "Hey, we could throw an ice party! We could have everyone dress in white like at Diddy's parties."
• Listening to Kyle and Jessi trying to figure out romantic relationships is painful. The party theme, however, is kind of brilliant.
• Ooh, according the the mood ring, Jessi's in a really bad mood.
• Yea! A hair pulling out (for DNA purposes) scene! Those are always fun. Brothers and Sisters had a really fun one when Kevin tried to pull out a strand of Rebecca's hair during a family dinner.
• Did we know that Josh had a Cabbage Patch doll a la Dan Humphrey?
• Lori: "Remove the competition. Eliminate her. I didn't mean that literally!"
• Pheromone necklaces! Kyle and Jessi need to secure a patent on these things, pronto! It's genius.
• Is it just me, or does Jessi shower more than everyone else in this family?
• Jessi: "I don't want to be Downer Doug, Party Police."
  Kyle: "What's that?"
  Jessi: "That's what they call you."
  Kyle: "They do?
  Jessi: "Yes."
  Kyle: "Oh!"
• Why is Kyle delegating doing research to Declan? Does that seem like a good idea? He did seem to do a pretty good job though, shockingly enough. Maybe post-basketball Declan can find employment as a private investigator or something.
• Lori: "You need to sexify!"
• Jessi: "Well, I definitely don't know how to do that."
• Gasp! Jessi tampered with Amanda's pheromone necklace! I knew it was going to happen, but still I'm aghast. Kyle's totally going to be able to figure out what happened, isn't he? I guess not...
• I'm not sure that Jessi's new look is any sexier than what she was wearing before, but whatever.
• Mark: "I'm an embarrassing shade of lavender."
• Oh, good, Declan needs some action.
• Declan thinks he's about 80% good guy? That might be a little generous. Remember the time he found out he had a bum ankle and then got into a fight with the guy at the impound lot?
• Amanda! Little hussy!
• Lori: "Oh please, don't play all Martha Stewart pre-jail with me!"
• Lori: "Kyle deserves a hell of a lot better than someone who would pull this kind of crap behind his back."
• For being such a pervy kid, Josh's pheromones should do glow an awfully lovely color.
• Jessi: "All he's ever done is love you with his whole heart."
• Aww, Jessi, that was sweet. Maybe she's about 80% good guy too ;-)
• Well, there goes Lori's class and poise beyond her years...
• Who wouldn't love you, Andy? Um, I think that would be me. Have fun in Cleveland.
• Oh, dear, Sarah didn't really leave by her own accord (and might be dead or held captive somewhere). Poor Jessi. She's having a rough night.
• Ha ha ha, so Kyle, Jessi and Amanda are all soulmates. I'd suggest that we settle this whole matter with some sort of menage a trois, but that sounds too much like something Josh would say.

Sigh. I'm going to miss Kyle when he's gone (and everybody else--to varying degrees--too).

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Quick Round-Up: 02/04

Random (interesting) stuff from the world of television:

• I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks that Burn Notice's Fiona is 15 shades of awesome.
• I know this Yale stuff has gotten stressful, but unless B has had some sort of lobotomy, there's no excuse for this behavior: Gossip Girl SPOILER.
• Oh my poor sweet Kyle...
• I don't know why I even tried to watch last week's SNL (hosted by Steve Martin), but I instantly regretted it. I mean, seriously, more MacGruber? Why, God, why? When Laser Cats is far and away the pre-Weekend Update highlight, we've got a serious problem. But, ultimately, I was glad I toughed it out, because during Weekend Update new-ish cast member Abby Elliott unleashed a stellar Angelina Jolie impersonation. As in, she was so good that I spent a few moments wondering if maybe that was the real Angelina after all. And subsequently I've spent a lot of moments wondering why SNL has kept this gem under their hats for so long. They had to have known that this impression was great--I would have used it in the first skit of the night. Or every skit until someone else could come up with something funnier than Laser Cats or whatever annoying character Kristen Wiig is playing.
• I guess sometimes good does prevail over evil? Case in point: Greek SPOILER.
• I don't know who this singer is, and the song is no "Womanizer" (ha!), but the video features Ryan Hansen as a back-up dancer clad in '80s fitness attire. And that is all you really need to know.
• Lie To Me: My love for David Anders (my sweet Sark) has been well documented (by me). And I'm devoted: I stuck it out with Heroes (which was no easy task) until they decomposed/disintegrated him in front of my very eyes. But I just could not take last week's episode of Lie To Me in which DA guest starred. That show is insufferable with a capital "suffer." Granted, I was only trying to watch it during Lost's commercial breaks, but I couldn't even do that! The whole show is: the main investigators ask someone a question, the person answers, the main investigators proceed to verbally analyze every movement the person made while answering, repeat, repeat, repeat. There's only so much that you can take of: "You thrust your chin, which signifies defiance. Then you touched your neck, which signifies lying. Then you looked to the right, which signifies evasiveness. Then you patted your stomach, which signifies that you're hungry. Then you gave us the stink eye, which signifies that you think we're annoying. Etc." If anyone talked to you like that in real life, you'd seriously punch them in the face.
• And I know I'm about a year behind on this (what's a girl without Showtime to do?), but the second series of The Tudors is rocking my world. There's a lot of good television airing right now, but The Tudors is all I want to watch. Oy, how I love Jonathan Rhys Myers! And Natalie Dormer's Anne Boleyn is all kinds of fantastic. I'm considerably distressed by the inevitability of poor Anne getting her head cut off; I want her to stick around forever.
  

  

(photos: usanetwork.com and Showtime)

Kyle XY: Shock Therapy

Kyle XY: "Electric Kiss"

Highlights:

• Lori: "Jessi: 24/7. It's in the house!"
• Whoa, Kyle totally looked at naked Jessi before he left!
• Jessi: "Is she going to do it? You know, open the store and be generous with the merchandise. That's what you said on the phone last night."
• Don't Amanda and her mom wonder how Jessi and Kyle knew to show up the second after she fainted?
• Kyle's pulled up basketball socks make me giggle. His socks and sneakers are so white!
• Well, Declan sure knows Lori.
• Kyle and a dog! Cute overload!
• Stupid Latnok/Cassidy: "I just kidnapped you and your girlfriend (and planted something in the back of her head), but can we start over?"
• Geez, Josh is just so skeezy! Watching porn in the living room?! At least watch it on your computer in your bedroom or something. Eeew.
• Kyle can come give me a neck massage too.
• Kyle: "Why is there a pain in her neck?" Um, because of Jessi? Ha.
• Um, no, Lori, there are definitely games going on here. You have no idea the games that are going on here.
• Josh: "What do I get out of this deal?"
  Kyle: "Knowing that you helped Amanda."
  Jessi: "Yeah, that's no reward for me either."
• Josh's fake hissy fit over the piano music was hilarious. "Mother!" I like Josh so much better when he's doing anything other than talking about having sex with Andie.
• It's amazing that Amanda can still play while she's gawking at Kyle and Jessi.
• I kind of love it when Amanda gets angry. It's a welcome change from her incessant sweetness.
• Kyle looks all kinds of sexy in his brown jacket/black t-shirt/jeans outfit. The pissed off attitude also definitely adds to the effect.
• Well, it's nice to know that Latnok didn't intentionally plant something permanently destructive into Amanda's head. Or so they say, anyhow.
• Jessi: "Long, healthy hair helps signal a prospective male to your reproductive potential."
• Wait, so this Mark/Lori thing wasn't a Latnok plot all along? I had figured it was an Irina Derevko situation.
• Jessi: "That's Amanda's head? It's empty."
• Jessi is sooooooooo much better when she's being snarky and saying funny things than when she's being all I'm-a-wounded-bird.
• Passing the electricity through a kiss. Oh these kids and their crazy ideas...
• Holy crap! Kyle waaaaaay over estimated the correct voltage there! Not that anyone minds seeing Jessi get thrown across the room...
• Look, I realize that kissing Kyle is probably a very distracting experience and that Amanda can be pretty dense sometimes, but do they really think she's not going to notice that he's sending electrically currents through her head? That is definitely something you would notice.
• Um, good luck, Kyle. I know you're cute, but how are you going to get her to kiss you? She's pretty mad, and you were just kissing her arch-rival.
• Andie's moms extended their vacation for another three weeks?! That's lux. (Though I can't say I'm too disappointed that I won't be seeing Andie and Josh for a while.)
• I guess we're going for a sneak attack here. Doesn't Amanda wonder why Kyle just fell from the sky?
• If Kyle's soooo sorry for kissing Amanda, shouldn't he have some sort of explanation for doing it? I feel like she should be asking him to explain.
• She saw the electric sparks in his hands, right? Please tell me she at least saw that.
• Well, that was depressing. At least Amanda's going to get some scholarship money, I guess.
• Oh no! Next week Kyle gets drunk?! Considering how he acts normally, this is going to be a disaster! (And probably awesomely hilarious.)

Kyle XY: The White Rabbit Swims

Kyle XY: "Psychic Friend"

Bullets:

• Eew, post-sex Josh is disgusting. (Although not much more disgusting than pre-sex Josh, I guess.)
• Why is Kyle meeting Amanda at a street fair?
• Amanda: "It's the world's longest spiked punch hangover." Wow, Amanda, you are very gullible. But we knew that already, I guess.
• At least Josh can lie because we know Kyle can't.
• Ha! It was funny when Kyle lost Amanda and started freaking and Amanda said, "What?!"
• Wow, Amanda does not take bad news well. At all.
• Who thinks that Kyle going to see a psychic by himself is a good idea?
• This psychic lady is right on target.
• Oh dear, don't tell me that Jessi is Kyle's soulmate. As in, Jessi's going to need saving. I'll gag.
• "The white rabbit will swim." Thanks, that clears it up.
• Amanda: "Do you think I'm too innocent?" Um, yeah.
• Kyle: "I want to talk to you!" Tone it down a little there, fella. You're coming on a little strong.
• Declan: "Do I need to give you a lecture on the perils of stalking?"
• So now even Declan knows Amanda was kidnapped? So everyone but Amanda knows Amanda was kidnapped (with the one exception of Andie). That's great.
• Even innocent Amanda's not falling for the "Tonight when the white rabbit swims, my soulmate's in danger" thing.
• Geez, Steven's in a bad mood. For being such a loosey-goosey parent all of the time, he sure flies into a fury awful quick.
• Hilary: "Is she your new best friend? Because if memory serves she made out with Declan too and then bitch-slapped you." Ha.
• Oh, busted. Lori's best spying efforts are wasted.
• Dude, the Latnok guy is never far away.
• The band is playing on a boat?!
• Dude, Andie, if you don't want people looking at you like a teenage girl who is having sex too early, maybe you shouldn't be a teenage girl who having sex too early. Whatever, don't blame Josh.
• Well, Kyle, it looks like it's time to jump in the lake and swim out to the boat...
• Oh, Jessi, thank goodness. (First time I've ever said that phrase?)
• Nice dive, Kyle! Very lovely.
• Hmm, shocker, it's Jessi who was in trouble. I called that (see above). But why couldn't Jessi swim herself out? Sometimes she's Hercules and sometimes she's really pathetic.
• Is Amanda going to put it together that the psychic said Kyle's soulmate is in trouble and Jessi ended up being the one in trouble?
• Kyle's healing powers are awesome.
• Jessi: "No one can stay mad at you."
• We don't have to listen to Josh tell his dad more about his sexual exploits, do we? Because I don't want to hear anymore.
• Ahh, Amanda did put it together! She's not as dumb as she acts.
• Umm, so how much of what happened was what Latnok planned? Did Cassidy want Kyle to think that Jessi is his soulmate? How did he know that Jessi would be the one hit by the beam? How did he know she'd fall off the boat? Seems a little far fetched.
• Hahahaha. So next week, Kyle figures out that in order to get whatever Latnok injected into Amanda's brain out, he has to do some sort of electrical charge that apparently has to come through a kiss and he tries to practice on Jessi and Amanda walks in! That poor kid just cannot win. And poor Amanda too--this is even worse than the time she walked in on them showing each other their lack of belly buttons.
  

Kyle XY: Longest Prom Night Ever

Kyle XY: "It Happened One Night"

Hmm, I don't think this premiere episode (of season 2.5? 3?) was the best episode Kyle XY has ever offered up. I usually like the middle episodes of Kyle seasons better than the beginning ones and end ones, because the bookend eps are when the show's "mythology" can tend to overpower the comical moments and the sweet moments. But I'm definitely glad to have Kyle, etc. back again--it seems like they've been gone for quite a while.

Speaking of something taking a while, how long was that prom night? It took so long that it looked like everyone aged about a year between the dance and the after-party! Ha.

The best part of the whole episode was this little nugget for us Loryle shippers:

Lori: "I think I already like someone else."
Nicole: "Who?"
Lori (sees Kyle levitating outside): "Kyle!"

Thoughts/highlights:

• Yeah, thanks, I needed the longest "previously on Kyle XY" recap ever.
• Lori called Kyle and Amanda the "dimple twins."
• Umm, obviously Kyle has a better chance of excitement than Josh. He's about a thousand times hotter than Josh.
• Hmm, I'd forgotten that Kyle can move things with his mind now.
• Should the new guy (Cassidy) be flirting with teenagers? He looks a little old for that.
• What kind of a post-prom party is this? This cannot be school sanctioned. It looks like an orgy.
• I like how Kyle took the time to put his tux jacket back on before making his escape from the lab. How very James Bond of him.
• Drunk Declan is kind of funny.
• Kyle's putting all of his tricks to good use tonight! It's amazing how high he can levitate over such a tiny bit of water.
• Maybe Lori should take off some of her makeup before she goes to bed. Sleeping in all that gunk will not be good for her pours.
• Declan: "Damn this shampoo; it's mocking me!"
• Amanda's mom is going to be sloshed by the time Kyle finally finds Amanda.
• Oh, right, a radio tracking map, of course. That's definitely what I was thinking too.
• I hear The Virgins' "Rich Girls." How very Gossip Girl circa 2007.
• Hillary: "He's drunk, and I got wet."
  Lori: "No, no, stop there."
• I liked Jessi rolling her eyes when Kyle talked about hearing Amanda's heartbeat.
• It helps that there always seems to be a hose nearby. Actually, that freezing and shattering the door thing was pretty cool.
• Oh, Kyle, now I guess we'll get to see how quickly you heal from gun shot wounds. Oh, bah, it was a rubber bullet.
• Hey, the guy from Jessi's apartment (Cassidy) is part of Latnok. Hmm. (And, wow, is it just me or does that guy have a fairly strong Heath Ledger quality to him?)
• "We're not the enemy, Kyle." Well, you certainly act like you are the enemy.
• Eew, I definitely don't want to see Josh and Andie getting busy. Yuck.
• He he, I knew Lori's D.J. crush guy was involved. It was way too suspicious when they were showing him in the car but not who was in the passenger seat.
• Um, Amanda, if you fell asleep at the after-party, wouldn't you maybe remember something about being at the after-party? Oh, she drank spiked punch? I forgot about that (during the year-long hiatus). That must have been some seriously strong punch.
  
• Amanda has seriously low expectations. She was drugged and can't remember anything about the prom, yet it was "even better" than she thought it would be. I'm seriously concerned about what she thought it would be like.
  
• Whoa, Kyle planted a hot kiss on Amanda there (for them, anyway).
• Uh oh, Jessi on her own is going to be trouble.
• Oh, holy heck, Amanda has a puncture wound on the back of her neck! What's that all about?