Premiere Watch '09: Eastwick

Eastwick:

"Pilot"

It pains me to say that a show with both Paul Gross and Matt Dallas is not that great. Both of those gentlemen would land on my list of my favorite people on TV ever (if I took the time to compile such a list). My love of Matt Dallas has been documented over and over in my reviews of Kyle XY. My love of Paul Gross stems back to pre-blog times when he was on Due South, a show that is still in at least my top 10 shows ever and probably my top 5 or 6.

But Eastwick--at least this pilot episode--was no great gem. My sister hit the nail on the head about this one, saying, "The show is a hot mess but I'd watch Paul Gross in just about anything. :)"

All in all, though, I'm going to continue watching. I think there is some potential here, and the show might hit its stride in subsequent episodes. And even if it doesn't, there are worse things I could be doing for an hour on Wednesday nights than reminding myself of how much I like Paul Gross and how gorgeous Matt Dallas is.

My play-by-play:

• Ugh, it's starting with a voice over. A rather Desperate Housewives-esque voice over. (Ok, it did turn out to be a lady reading a book, which I guess makes it a little better.)
• It's Abby from Days of Our Lives!
• It's Kyle!!!!!!!
• It's Mindy O'Dell from Veronica Mars!!
• Sarah Rue and Lindsay Price! (Ok, I'm not quite as excited about those two, although I do like Lindsay going back to her 90210 days.)
• How many employees from this one newspaper did they send to this random street festival? That seems like a waste of resources. No wonder newspapers are going out of business...
• Uh, this making-a-wish-at-the-fountain thing is both cheesy and taking forever.
• The exposition of this show is painful. Paul Gross cannot show up soon enough.
• Joanna: "Oh, that's just puke."
• Joanna's got some really nice clothes for such a pathetic reporter.
• Fraser!!!!!!!!
• Darryl: "It's not really art though, is it? It's more like folk art or crafts. It's cute, but it's stunted."
• Oh, Kyle. You're so adorable.
• Wow, Kyle's 26-year-old now. That's like 8 years older than he was last spring.
• Wow, Joanna has really long hair. How does she get it all into that bun?
• Why'd that dude just brag about getting the last doughnut? That's not very classy...
• These ladies went from not liking each other to eating dinner together every night? That's a little strange.
• That's kind of a short dress for a mother of six (?) to be wearing.
• What the hell is she doing?! I know we're supposed to think Kat's husband is a loser moron, but he does bring up some good points. I don't blame the dude for being mad that he's taking care of his six kids while his wife is frolicking in the town fountain.
• Who says, "You've got no fire, no spark, no electricity!"? Only someone who has to cue a lighting strike in a contrived TV show.
• Aww, poor Kyle. Roxie doesn't want eat dinner with him? She must be a crazy person.
• If Raymond takes the kids, that leaves Kat free to hang out with her new BFFs every night.
• Joanna: "Cliff, it is not a tight squeeze in here."
• Aww, Kyle. So sweet--fixing cabinets, cooking roasts. And he's gorgeous.
• Did we need to tack on that dream about the new guy at the end of the episode? That was kind of abrupt. We probably had enough to chew on without throwing that into the pilot as well. Especially with the kicker about Darryl having a secret.

In regards to rating premiere episodes, two years ago I instated a rule that one favorite actor could only earn 5 points for a show. But, using those terms, Matt Dallas scored 5 points for Eastwick and Paul Gross scored 5 points. Plus maybe one for Abby from DOOL and 2 for Lindsay Price. So then Eastwick has a 13.0/10?! That's not going to work, so that rule has been officially thrown out.

Premiere Rating: 5.5/10

(Photo: abc.com)