Premiere Watch '09: Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl:
"Reversals of Fortune"

Tonight I was probably the least excited I've ever been for a new episode of Gossip Girl, which was especially shocking considering this episode was the first new episode of a new season. There were certainly several reasons I felt this way, including the fact that new TV shows are a sign that summer is ending and I don't want that to happen and that I'm a bit drama-ed out from the U.S. Open. The predominate reason, however, was that GG and I didn't part on the best of terms last season (the Season 2 finale didn't impress me much at all and I resorted to quoting Lulu in jest...it wasn't pretty).

Still, when the first vestiges of GG popped up on my television screen (in it's new time slot at 9 p.m. instead of 8 p.m., which annoys me to no end since that's now when Greek and The Big Bang Theory (9:30) air as well), I hoped for the best. I wanted this episode of GG to smack me over the head with its awesomeness and remind me once and for all why I love this show. Unfortunately, what I got was an episode that was iffy at best.

From what I could tell, there wasn't an engaging plotline to be had in this episode. I mean, what we were supposed to like here? Dippy Nate picks up Joanna Garcia's equally dippy character? (She's realized her mistake when her cousin got stood up at the alter? That's it?) Barely-tolerable Vanessa gets picked up by the most boring secret half-brother known to man? Blair has Chuck pick up other girls to keep their relationship "interesting"? (Seriously? Being Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf on a daily basis isn't interesting enough?) Longer-haired Dan does nothing but get chastised by Vanessa while trying--again--to solve Serena's secret problems for her? Rufus "struggles to hold it together" while living Lily's charmed life without her? Eric and Jenny hang out and chat while somehow miraculously ignoring how awful Jenny's hair is? The part that came the closest to being interesting to me was when scummy Carter suddenly turned sweet, asking Serena who her dad was to not want her. But then she left him partially-clothed in the woods. Yeah...okay.

Even when GG's plotlines go astray, the show can usually be counted on for some entertaining dialogue and snappy one liners, but there wasn't even much of that in this episode. Even Gossip Girl sounded bored and subdued. Let's hope that the beginning of college will give this show the shot in the arm that it needs, because I don't know how many more episodes like this I can take.

Observations and "highlights":

• The blonde Chuck picked up looks like Serena, but shorter.
• The Hamptons isn't treating Jenny's hair well.
• Dan: "I just highly doubt she can keep her mouth shut for a whole month."
• From Vanessa to Joanna Garcia: definitely an upgrade for Nate.
• They've met before and they don't recognize each other? They don't know what other people in powerful political families look like? I mean, I know Nate's clueless, but I expected more from Joanna.
• Blair: "Now take your American Girl hair and your poreless skin and get out!"
• I'm on the fence about whether I love or hate Dan's longer hair.
• Eew, Jenny's hair looks even worse down.
• How is Chuck not dying from heat exhaustion in that suit in NYC in late summer?
• Chuck: "Sleeping with the enemy is hot. Why do you think I had the whole Ivanka thing?"
• Nate's hair, however, is definitely looking hot.
• How tall are Blair's shoes? She's taller than Serena.
• Nate and V went traveling in Europe and they just hooked up "one night" in Prague? That does not sound like the Nate that I know.
• Of course V got suckered in by the secret half-brother. She falls for all the liars.
• Jenny: "Everyone's topless on Valentino's yacht, Dad."
• Rufus: "What about the one where Prince Harry's doing shots off her--"
• Carter's looking cuter too.
• I wouldn't say the word "Dior" to Vanessa either when she's wearing that crappy outfit. It's like telling a starving person about the four-star meal you just ate.
• When was the "last time" Serena went off the deep-end? There have been so many times that I can't keep them straight anymore.
• What?! Why is Serena making it Dan's job to keep Carter away from her? Just leave poor Dan alone!
• Dan/Blair is not really an "unlikely alliance"--they band together for some reason or other at least once every couple of months.
• Apparently the correct outfit to wear to a polo match is a maxi dress.
• Nate's grandfather doesn't know who Bree Buckley is either?
• I guess Blair didn't get the maxi dress memo. But Vanessa did.
• Did Serena marry Carter in Europe too? LOL.
• Ha ha, is Serena seriously riding a horse away from the polo match? This is ridiculous.
• Aww, all of a sudden, Carter's kind of sweet: "Who is he not to want you?"
• Ugh, Vanessa, just take your lectures and go far, far away. Somebody lend Vanessa a horse so she can get out of here faster.
• Chuck: "We could never be boring."
• Um, this Vanessa/secret half-brother scene is painful. It's so bad, it's veering into Mischa/pool boy territory.
• Ok, Chuck and Blair are role playing about waiters now? Has it come to this?
• Why did Rufus buy the pics of Serena riding the horse? Borrowing a horse at a polo match is not exactly the most scandalous thing ever.

Premiere Rating: 6.0/10

(photo: cwtv.com)