Premiere Watch '09: The Beautiful Life

The Beautiful Life: TBL:

"Pilot"

I really rather liked the pilot of The Beautiful Life. I was expecting to enjoy it, but I wasn't sure if I'd enjoy it because it was good or if I'd enjoy it because it was so bad and campy that it was entertaining. Turns out, it was pretty good.

Granted, the whole thing with Chris' disapproving Iowan farmer dad seemed a little tired and all of the modeling agents were skeazy and not particularly interesting, but there were some interesting developments. I was actually pretty shocked by the reveal that Sonja's time away from modeling was due to her having a secret baby. The rehab rumor just seemed likely. Also, I'm interested to find out who Raina's dad is. Mafia boss? Very rich white collar criminal?

And I liked this pilot because, heaven help me, I love that Mischa Barton. I admit that she's not the world's best actress and she's had some troubled times in real life, but I just like her. I'm sure my allegiance to her is in no small part due to her having played one of the main characters (Marissa Cooper) in one of my favorite shows of all time (The O.C.), but I do think there's more to it than that.

Also, I think the people in charge of The Beautiful Life should really stop trying to make "The Beautiful Life: TBL" happen. Either go with The Beautiful Life or TBL, we don't need both. It's redundant.

Highlights and my other thoughts:

• Timely scheduling of this pilot: it depicts NY Fashion Week '09 during NY Fashion Week. (Ignoring the fact that the fashion week actually going on in real life was for Spring '10, while the clothes they were wearing were from Zac Posen's Fall '09 collection (Exhibits A, B, and C). But that's ok, we don't have to think about it that hard.)
• Zac Posen! I read that his NY Fashion Week show started at 9 a.m. this year.
• Shouldn't Zac screen his looks a bit earlier than right before the model walks onto the runway? "Take this necklace and make it into a belt"? What?!
• I don't blame Mischa/Sonja for not making it to the Posen show if it was at 9 a.m.
• Do radio stations really give live updates from fashion shows?
• I'm sorry, but Corbin Bleu doesn't look like a model to me. He's too short, right? How tall are male models supposed to be?
• Aww, Chris is from Iowa. That's so cliche.
• More MGMT? I mean, I love "Time to Pretend" just as much as or more than the next girl, but is Zac Posen seriously using a year-old song to showcase his signature look?
• Do fashion show attendees really jump to their feet, applauding and cheering when some confetti falls from the ceiling? That seems like seriously un-chic behavior.
• Zac's clothes got some nice exposure from this.
• I just love Mischa's somewhat affected/stilted manner of speaking (sometimes it sounds like she's using an accent, sometimes not). It rather fits this role.
• Hope Chris wore presentable undies today.
• Ahh, good, I was hoping that wasn't Chris' pink cell phone.
• Maybe Isaac's been having trouble finding work because he's too short. (Or maybe designers just don't want their clothes associated with this. Personally, I've come to regard it as something of a modern masterpiece.)
• Ohhh, Isaac was a child model who "hasn't quite crossed over yet." That explains it.
• And he's a musician. Here's a thought: if he's not doing well at modeling and he wants to be a musician, why doesn't he just go try to be a musician?
• Cole (Nico Tortorella) is hot. Why does he look familiar? Wait! It's because he played Pizza Guy #1 on Make It Or Break It!!! So I guess this explains why that dude completely disappeared after only a few episodes and had to be replaced by Pizza Guy #2. Geez, I thought he was kind of cute on MIOBI, but he's super hot on TBL. Emily Kmetko's loss!
• Ick. Simon is sleazy.
• Sonja's wearing "the new Versace"! (Which, by the way, was from the Versace Spring '09 collection, so it's a year old and not so new after all.) How'd she get it? She has a "relationship with security" at the photographer's hotel. That's shady.
• Cole just ordered a 7 and 7. How Atwood-ian of him. (Sorry, my only experience with that drink comes from The O.C.)
• Marissa: "Coke is so '80s!" (I only find that quote interesting because I just finished reading Bright Lights, Big City in preparation for the upcoming Josh Schwartz film adaptation.)
• Raina is either a very sympathetic, caring person or oddly infatuated with Sonya.
• Is Raina really 16? Huh, no wonder her brother was supposed to take care of her.
• Sonja's baby-daddy has the initial R. (Unless Raina really is a creepy stalker and sent the flowers.)
• Uh oh, it's only the first episode and Mischa's already going berserk and throwing things. It took her until the Season 2 premiere to get to that point on The O.C. (the pool chair incident), and a lot of crap happened to her on The O.C....
• How old is Chris supposed to be?
• Is Raina's floor really going to be any more comfortable than the bench?

Premiere Rating: 7.5/10

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Lily of the Valley & Prom Queen B

Gossip Girl:

"Valley Girls"

A couple days before the well-hyped Lily (Rhodes) van der Woodsen (Bass) flashback backdoor pilot aired, rumors swirled that The CW isn't planning on putting the Lily spin-off on its fall schedule after all, and will instead opt to pick up Beautiful Life (featuring The O.C.'s Mischa Barton), the Melrose Place update (because why come up with a new idea when you can remake an old one?) and Vampire Diaries (to capitalize on the Twilight hysteria) and to renew Privileged (which, ironically, is one the only shows I've ever watched that I've actually called on the network to cancel). After watching Lily's flashback take over this episode of Gossip Girl, I can say that--if the rumors are true--not picking up the Lily spin-off is one of the few programming decisions The CW has made that I agree with.

I once wondered if Josh Schwartz could ever create a show that I wouldn't like, and now we have our answer. The Lily '80s flashback was just painful. It lacked the wit and charisma that a Josh Schwartz show typically thrives on. The characters (even the ones we already knew) were underdeveloped and stereotypical. The dialogue was unnatural and sometimes just bizarre. The whole thing was boring. And Lily was possibly even more annoying as a teenager than she is now (and that is a major feat).

Oh, and you know the flashback was bad if I'm trashing it even though it included several cast members whom I already love or at least like: Ryan Hansen (my beloved Dick Casablancas from Veronica Mars), Krysten Ritter (a veteran of Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, who is currently so much better in Breaking Bad), Andrew McCarthy (who will always be Larry from Weekend at Bernie's to me), and Cynthia Watros from Lost.

But the worst part of the whole Lily flashback was that it stole precious screen time from the Gossip Girl characters that we love! (Except for Vanessa--Lily can have all of Vanessa's screentime as far as I'm concerned.) Even though the Gossip Girlers were just navigating the world of prom, which was certainly not earth-shattering by any means, I just wanted to watch them!

Highlights, lowlights and quotes:

• Blair: "Serena's been in jail for 4 hours! That's longer than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan combined!"
• Chuck: "Please, she's a socialite accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they're working her over with a phone book."
• Rufus still sucks. He tells Dan and Jenny that one of their best friends was just arrested at the behest of her mother, and when they ask for more information, he just yells at them to not get involved. That's helpful.
• Lily's parents had a tumultuous divorce? Then why did Cece still have her husband's suits in her house at the Hamptons? (Remember, Dan had to borrow Serena's grandpa's jacket to go to the White Party.)
• Lily's dad: "Punishing loved ones just comes much easier to some people."
• We've established that in Margaret Colin and John Shea, Blair has the coolest parents ever. Lily has some cool ones too: Larry from Weekend at Bernie's and Libby from Lost. Except Lily's parents are both acting like jerks. Not that I feel too badly for her; she was just as annoying in the '80s as she is now.
• It's only happened twice, but I'm already sick of transitioning in and out from the flashbacks. The stupid, reflective look on Lily's face as she reminisces makes me gag.
• Ha ha, Blair's looking at the scrapbook (that she supposedly hasn't looked at since she was a child).
• Blair: "Just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked at since I was an early adolescent!"
• Ha ha, is Chuck sabotaging Nate and Blair's dream prom? Because that's funny.
• Lily thinks Cece's toxic? Cece? Cece's probably the least toxic woman in this whole family.
• Limited editions of the Gossip Girl books are on sale that come with posters of the cast! Wow, I'm actually kind of excited about that; what am I, 12-years-old?
• Wow, young Lily, that was an overreaction (in the immortal words of Andy Bernard)! She didn't have to yell at the kid just for bumping into her.
• My sister: "This waiter dude is trying really hard to be Ryan Lafferty."
• Dan: "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man."
• Ahh! Scary! Poor Little J was just hanging out in her room when all of a sudden the garage door wall is thrown open by Dan, who is wearing only a t-shirt and purple boxers! Which is especially odd, because in the scene immediately proceeding that one, he was fully clothed while talking to Lily on the phone. So, he apparently stripped down to go talk to his little sister. Weirdo!
• Dan: "Hey, I think I need a dress for prom."
  Jenny: "Ok, but you're going to have to wear your own shoes."
• Good Lord, young Lily is annoying! "You're totally falling in love with me right now." SHUT UP! Trust me, no one is falling in love with you! Only Rufus is stupid enough to do that, and he doesn't come along for a couple more years.
• Oh, thank God, it's Ryan Hansen (who is rocking quite the hairdo)! He's about the only one who can save this horrendous flashback, but it's a tall order.
• Blair: "I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head, and tonight no effort required!"
• Blair: "We don't do prom queen. That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."
• Serena's white nail polish really held up in prison! It still looks flawless.
• Can we see a flashback into Eleanor's past now? Because I guarantee it would be a hell of a lot more interesting than this.
• Kind of cliche '80s music they're using here. It's not bad; it's just exactly what everyone would think of when they think '80s music: "I Melt With You," "The Safety Dance," etc.
• Blair: "Well, I just spent 10 seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
• Is that dress supposed to be Jenny's? Because that might explain why Serena's boobs are popping out of it, but I'm not really sure her boobs would have ever fit in Jenny's dress in the first place. That really is just supposed to be one of Jenny's dresses--Little J didn't just sew that one up in a half hour, right? Because not even Jenny can sew that fast.
• Wow, everyone else must have gotten tired of Lily's "remembering face" too, because now they're not using any kind of transitions from past to present at all.
• Hey, shocker, the young Mr. van der Woodsen is a jerk.
• The part where Owen throws Lily's "Your falling in love with me," line back at her would have been funny if the whole thing (namely the acting in this scene) wasn't so painful.
• Eew, Carol slept with Lily's future husband? Yuck.
• Can we please get back to Blair and Chuck's scintillating conversation about the prom queen?
• Nice punch, Ryan Hansen! He learned that move during the battles between Logan's rich kids and Weevil's motorcycle gang in Veronica Mars season 2.
• Blair: "This is my moment! I own prom!"
• Dan: "Who even voted for her?"

  Chuck: "Me. About 150 times."
• Oh. My. God. Chuck's "sabotage" turned out to be him ensuring that Blair's prom night was perfect and just like her scrapbook. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Chuck!!!
• Cece would rather have twenty Dan Humphreys from Brooklyn than that one stupid guy from the Valley? I mean, that dude was no prize, but Dan can be all kinds of annoying at times. I can only imagine how grating twenty Dans would be.
• Ugh, I can't even listen to Lily and Cece have this fight. It's too boring.
• Nate is awfully complacent. Blair wants him: he's ok with that. Blair doesn't want him: he's ok with that too apparently.
• Blair: "Your quasi half-brother slash ex-boyfriend was your date."
• Serena: "We went through it together. We raised each other. You're my sister."
• The "we raised each other" sentiment is sweet, but it's also extremely true and explains a lot about B and S.
• BTW, while she's "raising" Blair, couldn't Serena mention that Chuck told her he loves Blair and that he went to extremely lengths to give her a perfect prom night?
• Next week: Blair says to Chuck--for the hundredth time--"Tell me you love me," and, darn it, if he doesn't just say it this time, I'm going to eat my right hand! Lol. Maybe not. But I will be severely angered.
• I do wonder what is happening with Georgie and Poppy.
• Let's hope that this year's GG finale is a little less manic and whip-lash inducing than last season's finale. Pick your story lines wisely and let them breathe a little, GG.

(photo: cwtv.com; I am refusing to post a photo from the flashback out of principle.)

Chuck: Two Weddings and a Kung Fu Fighter

Chuck:

"Chuck vs. The Ring"

Please may this not be the last Chuck ever. Please may this not be the last Chuck ever. Please may this not be the last Chuck ever.

This last string of Chuck episodes (ever since we finally got rid of that annoying British spy guy) has been extremely good, so I expected the season finale to be phenomenal, and I was not disappointed. There was so much to like about this episode!

First of all, Ellie and Awesome's beach wedding was gorgeous. I'm going to say that it was easily the prettiest television wedding since Julie Cooper married Caleb Nichol in The O.C. season 1 finale. And that makes me think that Josh Schwartz should be a wedding planner; he clearly knows how to stage one stunning ceremony. (Lily and Bart's wedding last year on Gossip Girl was pretty too.) I'm posting two pictures from the ceremony just because it was so darn lovely.

I'll save my thoughts on the (FANTASTIC) end of the episode for after the play-by-play:

• The song at the beginning of the episode was fun. The Chuck soundtrack has really been top-notch lately.
• General: "Your country is calling you, Mr. Bartowski."
  Chuck: "Then I think my country might have the wrong number."
• Casey: "If you were a true patriot, you wouldn't even cash it."
• That's so sweet that Casey gave Chuck his personal number in case of emergencies.
• BRYCE LARKIN! Woo hoo! Why is the new Intersect project in Zurich? Why does the Intersect have to go in anyone's head? Why can't it just stay on a computer?
• So Awesome has a Toyota, but Zac Levi does commercials for Honda Insights? I'm confused.
• The bridesmaids' dresses are nice. I'd like the dress better in another color, but the style is great.
• Hey, yeah, shouldn't Sarah and Chuck stage a really elaborate breakup scene to explain why she's not going to be around anymore?
• Dr. Woodcomb: "My wife warned me about you."

  Morgan: "Good warnings, I hope."
• I can't believe Bryce knew the truth about Chuck's dad this whole time either. Yeah, Chuck, just hand Bryce over to the bad guys. No need to feel guilty about that; I'm getting sick of him already.
• Jeffster! I saw this coming. ;-)
• Morgan: "Listen, if you hit me, it only teaches me to hit."
• Whoa, Sarah's not going to be able to walk down the aisle in that dress after ripping the whole bottom part of it off.
• Dr. Woodcomb called Lester "an Indian lesbian." Hahahaha.
• Chuck: "Hoe down! I mean, hold on!"
• Chuck: "Oh, God, not the flowers!"
• I liked Ellie sitting on the floor and trying to meditate while her wedding was being stalled.
• Yea, Major Casey!!! That was a great scene with the Marines taking out the bad guys juxtaposed with Jeffster's big finish.
• After all the ruckus in the reception room, Jeff's sparklers set off the fire alarm. Oy vey.
• Throw Ellie the beach wedding, Chuck. That's what she wanted anyway.
• Ellie's wedding dress doesn't look nearly as bad post-sprinkler as I expected it would.
• Marine: "Sir, how do you spell begonia?"

  Casey: "Sound it out. ...No, no, that clashes with the bunting!"
• Where did everyone get whole new outfits for this second wedding? They certainly didn't have time to do the necessary dress fittings in one afternoon. Even Jenny Humphrey doesn't sew that fast! In any event, I'm liking the new bridesmaids' dress color much better. This wedding is gorgeous.
• Why is Casey's Marine shooting Rourke? Uh oh, is he shooting everyone? Who does he work for? Fulcrum big wigs that are higher up than Rourke?
• And the courtyard reception is better too! They always did have such a pretty courtyard.
• Oops, the Intersect's in Chuck's dad's head now! Oh, ha, he's actually had it in there for awhile. That came in handy.
• Maybe, Chuck, being a spy is your real life. It's more of a "life" than you were leading pre-Intersect anyway.
• So Bryce is still in love with Sarah, huh? And he's just sharing this with random faux-CIA agents? That's not very stealth.
• Luckily, Bryce is pretty badass. (Remember how great he was in the pilot? Actually, now that I think about it, he got shot then too.)
• Ouch, that was one awkward fall Chuck just made into the vault!
• Bryce: "Fulcrum is just one part of the ring."
• Oh no, poor Bryce! Rest in peace, buddy.
• So, what's Chuck going to do now? Obviously, he's going to put that darn (and apparently dangerous) thing right into his head.
• Is there going to be a Bryce Larkin-shaped hole in the new Intersect in Chuck's head? Because his body was definitely blocking some of the images.
• Casey: "Oh, Chuck me!"

Well, Chuck me too! That ending was insane. Probably the awesomist 2 minutes of TV all season. I can barely get a hold of myself, that was so phenomenal. I'm freaking out: Chuck knows kung fu! He's got some serious moves! The scene with Chuck beating the crud out of all the bad guys single-handedly was simultaneously hilarious and so cool it hurt.

Chuck: "Guys, I know kung fu."

OMG, that was such a cool season finale! Best case scenario: we get to see the Sarah/Casey/Chuck team fight their way through the rest of "the ring" for many seasons to come. Worst case scenario: if this is all we get, at least I feel pretty confident that whatever the rest of "the ring" includes, New and Improved Chuck with Special Kung Fu Fighting Skills will be able to handle it, and I'll know in my soul that he's out there somewhere kicking ass.

(photos: Ellie & Awesome's wedding album at NBC.com)

Gossip Girl: Seder Shenanigans

Gossip Girl:

"Seder Anything"

I reamed Gossip Girl out a bit for the past couple of episodes, but I think this episode was back on the GG track of awesomeness. The Blair/Nate stuff still feels like such a season 1, pre-cotillion redux that I can barely stand to watch it, but the Seder hijinks were fantastic. Sure, Cyrus was holding his Seder meal was a week or so late, but no technicality like that should ever deny a Josh Schwartz enterprise the chance to do a Passover episode. (Too bad Nana "the Nana" Cohen didn't show up to this Seder.)

I loved Dan trying to hide the fact that he was a cater waiter from Rufus, and I loved, loved, loved all of Eleanor's digs at Dan. As a rule, Gossip Girl is much better when somebody is ruthlessly picking on Dan.

Another thing I loved about this episode was that Jenny showed that she still remembers what Chuck tried to do to her at the Kiss on the Lips Party in the GG pilot. That's definitely not something she'd soon forget, and I'm glad that it was finally acknowledged again. Also, the attempted date rape was probably the one thing Chuck's done that we Chuck apologists can't really explain away. That behavior wasn't just smarmy; it was horrible. It was gratifying to hear a very depressed Chuck offer Jenny a long-overdue apology.

Highlights and observations:

• Ugh, the moniker "Blate" (for Blair and Nate) is just as dumb as the coupling that inspired it.
• Blair has such elaborate movie-inspired dreams.
• Blair: "Just because I lost Yale, doesn't mean I'm wasting my time at a non-Ivy reading Beloved six times and experimenting with lesbianism." (For what it's worth, I only had to read Beloved once during my non-Ivy collegiate career...oh, and I also didn't experiment with lesbianism. Does nobody do either of those things at Yale?)
• Chuck's banging a synchronized swimmer. That's creative.
• Chuck: "Then I realized I was a 17-year-old billionaire with incredible stamina." (There you go, Chuck. That's the spirit!)
• Nate got into Columbia! That's kind of a shock. Who knew Columbia had such low standards?
• Wes? Who the hell is Wes?
• Serena gets married and needs a lawyer, so she calls the father of her ex-boyfriend? That's kind of awkward.
• Serena's trip to Spain apparently didn't cause her to re-think the messy hair look.
• Blair: "I thought firstborns were supposed to be spared."
• Eleanor: "I don't even know how to say half the words in this prayer book that was named for Lieberman's wife!"
• Oh, Dan, get over yourself. Everyone knows you're "poor"--serving the Seder isn't going clue anyone in to something the didn't already know.
• Oh, Serena, I'm sure Lily's done much worse than having a surprise Spanish wedding. Don't feel too bad.
• Dan: "How does one not know if one is married?"
• Dan: "You're a wife of the landed gentry, and I'm a cater waiter at a Seder."
• Ha ha, Rufus is coming to the Seder? Lol, ok, Dan serving it is now funny.
• Rufus: "Dan, you're dressed just like a cater waiter!"
• Eleanor: "Dan, ...could you please go make yourself a little more presentable?"
  Rufus: "Well, that was a little rude."
• Why is Jenny playing board games with Wes in Lily's apartment? Is Chuck supposed to be babysitting her? Lol.
• Eleanor: "There's an empty seat. It's for Elijah, but you can take it."
• Should they be giving Serena all that wine? I know she drinks all the time, but she is still 17/18 after all.
• Cyrus: "Oh, well, that's where we just moved Elijah."
• Oh, come on, Jenny. You may be a social pariah, but you can still do better than this Wes kid. He has Aaron Rose hair for crying out loud! She might as well just go hook up with Aaron, if she wants to slum it. At least that guy was an "artist." Think about it, Jenny: just a few months ago you had Nate Archibald. Now, sure, he is no amazing catch personality-wise, but he is freaking gorgeous. You should still have some standards.
• Little J sure has Chuck's number for not having talked to him or spent any amount of time with him in forever. (Since the Kiss on the Lips Party, perhaps?)
• Poor Blair. Every time she tries to do the right thing, she still gets screwed anyway.
• Dan: "I'm a cater waiter."

  Eleanor: "And not a very good one."
• Sorry, Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf is always falling apart these days. It's not big news.
• Ugh, this Dove commercial with Vanessa in it just reminded me how thankful I am that she hasn't been in this episode. Man, she's annoying.
• Chuck: "Look, I told you, I'm not in the mood."

  Nate: "Good. Neither am I."
• Chuck: "It's stupid for you to want her to be anything other than she is."
• Rufus sold a painting to that guy sight unseen? I don't think I'd buy a painting I haven't seen. Especially not from Rufus.
• Vanessa's going to be so bummed that Rufus is selling the gallery. What is she going to do with herself?
• Well, that sure was helpful, Nate: offer Chuck a refill, take his glass, and then just leave.
• Aww, poor Chuck. He is just beyond pathetic.
• Cyrus: "Well, I carried J.R. on my back for five hours through the jungle..."
• What the hell is going on with Poppy and Gabriel? Are they trying to swindle Serena out of the van der Woodsen fortune or something? I thought they were both rich already. Did Nate's dad get away with their money?

Summary of next week's promo (for Ashley): Chuck and Blair are spying on Gabriel and discover that he's dating both Serena and Poppy. During the stakeout, they end up falling asleep while holding hands, and Nate finds out (I guess) and yells at Chuck. Then Chuck runs into Georgina in the park, and she cheerfully hugs him hello and asks, "Have you been saved?"

(photos: cwtv.com)

My Take on Twilight's Casting

I know that everyone and their little sister have already weighed in on the Twilight movie adaptation's casting decisions, but I can't help but throw in my two cents as well.

Of anyone in the whole world, I think the person who best embodies the vampire's combination of excessive beauty and inherent scariness is Jonathan Rhys Myers. There's certainly something other-worldly about him. Unfortunately, Twilight couldn't really capitalize on Jonathan's clear vamp-ish qualities, because he doesn't really fit any of the book's characters. Perhaps one of the other myriad of vampire related films and shows will be able to take advantage of them at some point.

I'm not sure entirely which Twilight role they should have given him, but I'm convinced that Ed Westwick should have been in the movie. These photos prove that he's got the pale, beautiful, and brooding thing down. Masterfully.

Personally, I don't have a problem with the casting of Twilight's leads. Kristen Stewart is okay by me, and I think she fits Bella pretty well. And Robert Pattinson has certainly turned out to be quite the find. What confuses me is the supporting cast. And namely that several members of the supporting cast were featured in the sub-par season three of The O.C. I don't think Josh Schwartz even liked that season, so why would anyone look there for casting inspiration? And if you had to scavenge amongst The O.C. season three actors, why wouldn't you pick Willa Holland or Johnny Lewis or Eric Mabius, who were definitely the bright spots among the new cast members that year? Why would you pick Volchok and Sadie and Caitlin's boarding school boyfriend? The choices just seem bizarre to me.

Frankly, I imagine I'll always hold some sort of grunge against Cam Gigandet for playing the guy who killed Marissa Cooper and Nikki Reed for her stint as whiny Johnny's annoying jewelry-making cousin. Ick. It's been years, and I still don't even like to think about that whole debacle. What's especially weird about Nikki's casting is that she's playing Rosalie who is supposed to be tall and blond and Nikki is neither of those things. And it's not like tall blondes are rarities in Hollywood, right? I would think you could walk down the sidewalk and swing your arms around and hit 20 or 30 of them.

But this necessary hair dying thing seems to be a trend with the Twilight casting selections. The blond kid from 90210 (Kellan Lutz) had to dye his hair brown. Peter Facinelli had to dye his hair blond. It seems like they were trying to force certain people into certain roles whether they really fit or not.

Peter Facinelli, for instance. I like Peter; I thought he was great in Damages. But I don't think I'd necessarily classify him as "more handsome than any movie star," which is what Dr. Cullen is supposed to be. (And especially not when he's got this freaky blond hair and white makeup.) My suggestion for Dr. Cullen, and I'm pretty confident about this one, would be Ryan McPartlin a.k.a. Chuck's Captain Awesome! I cite his appearance in Mad Men as proof of his handsomeness. I mean, Betty Draper wouldn't put down her gimlet and have a tryst in the back room of a bar with just any guy, right?

Oh, and I've also been pretty turned off to Elizabeth Reaser in general by her messing with poor Alex on Grey's Anatomy and her love of combining Ugg boots and shorts in The Ex List.

I am kind of excited that Rachelle Lefevre landed a role in the film. She keeps popping up in various television shows I watch, and I always wonder what else I've seen her in before I remember that it was Big Wolf on Campus. Yes, I'm admitting that I used to watch Big Wolf on Campus.

So, anyway, my copious television watching has certainly colored my opinions about the Twilight cast. Will any of this stop me from going to see the movie at my earliest convenience? No, it absolutely will not.

(photo: Twilight Official Movie Site)

Chuck: Boy Meets Russian Mafia

Chuck: "Chuck Versus the Cougars"

This episode of Chuck was especially exciting for several reasons, not the least of which was that it featured a guest star appearance by Ben Savage a.k.a. Cory Matthews from Boy Meets World. Like most members of the T.G.I.F. generation, I imagine I'll always have a special place in my heart for Cory, Topanga, Shawn, and even Minkus (although my allegiance to him thankfully doesn't mandate me to watch him on One Tree Hill). The last time I saw Rider Strong was his horrifying turn on Veronica Mars where he brutally harassed poor Neil from Freaks and Geeks during a prison simulation. I've made a point of checking out The Dish, Danielle Fischel's new The Soup-esque program on the Style Channel, so I now have semi-regular Topanga fixes. But how I've missed my Cory...and his amazingly hilarious facial expressions (see above).

Another interesting aspect of this episode was that we finally got some back story on Sarah and what her life was like pre-Chuck and pre-Bryce and pre-CIA. Like Chuck, I was really excited to find out that Sarah's real name is Jenny Burton...that is, until we found out that Sarah/Jenny and her father were seasoned con artists and "Jenny Burton" was just one of a long line of aliases. Still, we learned more about her than we knew before: her dad went to prison, she was nerdy, Nicole Richie terrorized her in high school, she joined the CIA as an alternative to going to jail, etc.

Highlights and observations:

• Wow, high school Sarah had terrible hair.
  
• Sarah used to live in San Diego and now works in LA and her cover hasn't been blown yet?
• Oh no, Cory's in the intersect. That's not a good sign.
  
• Chuck does not seem to spend much time in the BuyMore these days. Luckily for him, the management is lax.
• Shades of The O.C.: Chuck talks about cilantro, which Caleb Nichol notably hated. What is it with Josh Schwartz and cilantro? It seems like it's bordering on an obsession ;-)
• Chuck: "Cilantro--very controversial. You either love it or you hate it. I love it."
• Chuck and Cory are not a very unbeatable combination.
• Chuck: "A self-defense class I took at the Y. It was very comprehensive."
• How gullible is Cory if he believes Chuck is "Mad Dog"?
• Lester is the worst manager ever.
• I'm surprised the BuyMore is only out $3700 after these stupid sales practices.
• Whoa, they decorated the reunion with humongous yearbook photos? That's harsh!
• "Mmm Bop"! I hope high school seniors didn't like "Mmm Bop."
• This Dick Duffy joker was on the last episode of The Ex-List. Ugh, I'm embarrassed that I know that.
• Hahahaha, Casey being the deejay was hilarious.
• Ahh, Nicole Richie is Russian mafia. Who'd have thought?
• Sarah should be able to beat up skinny little Nicole Richie.
• Why did Sarah go back into the reunion all wet and bleeding from the mouth? That would seem a bit suspicious.

Next week we meet Chuck's ex! The one that Bryce stole from him? Who we haven't heard a thing about since the very early episodes? The one who was seemingly forgotten all about? Awesome! I've been wondering what was up with her.

(photo: nbc.com)

Chuck: Seducing Julie Cooper

Chuck:

"Chuck Versus the Seduction"

Let's start by stating the obvious: Melinda Clarke is hands down awesome. How I miss Julie Cooper and her conniving ways...and, well, The O.C. in general. My thanks goes out to Josh Schwartz for continuing to employ the former residents of Newport Beach. And it looks like the Coopers really are making a comeback, since Melinda's Chuck cameo will be followed by Willa Holland (Kaitlin) showing up on Gossip Girl (which was the no-brainer casting decision of the century).

The play-by-play:

• Why does Sarah always pose alluringly at the Buy More door before she walks in? And why does there always appear to be a wind machine pointing at her? ;-)
• Sasha's a girl? Aren't Russian Sashas generally boys?
• The CIA has a "seduction school"? I guess that explains why Sydney Bristow always seemed so good at it.
• It was funny when the hardass NSA lady got all flustered when Roan walked in.
• Chuck: "His liver must look like camouflage!"
• Ha ha, Morgan proving that he knows Ellie better than Awesome was funny.
• I like it when Chuck gets egged into being kind of badass...or if not "badass" at least not as pitiful.
• Casey's expression was great when he overheard Roan say, "Don't worry, Charles. I'll teach you how to get her (Sarah) too."
• Roan: "Why do you think she's known as the Black Widow?"
  Chuck: "Because she's African American and her husband died?"
• Roan: "If he survives the night, it will be a miracle."
  Sarah: "He can hear you!"
• Melinda's Russian accent was hilarious.
• If she doesn't drink, why's she hanging out in a bar?
• Roan: "Aww, poor Anton! That's tragic."
• Ellie: "Why of all the movies in the world would Sister Act be my favorite?"
• Nice Chuck! Stealing her necklace (the Cipher, whatever) was smart.
• Chuck: "Leap from the balcony, landing with a flourish, and the Russian judge gives him a 9.4!"
• Morgan is the wounded gazelle! Oh no, the wheel said he was fired! Wow, it's nice that all the Buy More employees have such an allegiance to Morgan.
• Roan: "Lesson number one about being a spy: Don't fall in love."
• As terms of their return, the Buy More employees demand two hour lunch breaks and unlimited bathroom breaks! Can Lester even given them these privileges? Isn't it company policy?
• Chuck gave the Black Widow directions to the Buy More. Ha ha ha.
• Ha, why does the banner say "New Ass Man" now? Just take the whole thing down.
• Who in the CIA had to spread rose petals all over Ellie's house? That's not a very glamorous job.
• I'm not sure Roan meant for Chuck to wear the white dinner jacket over a graphic tee...
• And: damn that Bryce Larkin! That guy just continuously shows up at the worst moments!

(photo: NBC/Chuck)

Gossip Girl: For Better Or For Worse

Gossip Girl: "Much 'I Do' About Nothing"

Whoa. And I thought last week's episode felt like several shows worth of material shoved into one. This finale felt like at least five different episodes; more happened tonight than has been happening in this season's seriously fast-paced episodes of Lost. I feel like I have serious story line-induced whiplash.

Dan and Serena: first they were apart, then together, then apart, then together, then apart. Rufus and Lily: together, apart, together, apart. Nate and Vanessa: together, then inexplicably apart. Blair and Chuck: apart, together, apart.

And, on top of freaking all of that, Georgie was permanently dispatched, Nate's dad came back only to immediately skip town, Nate beat up his dad, Jenny got an internship with Eleanor Waldorf, Rufus went on tour, Lily planned to redecorate the house, Blair found a new guy (who kind of looked like Cillian Murphy), Chuck hit on Patty Hearst's daughter, Vanessa and Dan began to spend the summer together, Nate and Serena decided to spend the summer together, and I don't even know what else.

It seems that the folks at GG were really trying for an O.C.-esque Season 1 finale wedding/multi-break-up ending, but the problem was that they had to get all of the couples together before the could break them up. All in one episode. If I watch the final montage of The O.C.'s "The Ties That Bind" now--even five years later and knowing how it all turned out--I still am affected by the images of Ryan being driven back to Chino, Seth sailing away, Kirsten crying into the sheets, and Marissa drinking alone. That's because the characters are miserable and we're allowed to sulk for awhile with them. They're not already out in the world moving on and finding new love interests.

For about 10 brief minutes there, I had my B&C. Chuck and Blair were finally exactly where they belonged: together! And then they weren't... I thought we were going to "take it slow" and "do it right" this time, but in one short week they were planning trips to Europe and breaking up already. And, did Bart Bass think he was helping with that little speech of his? He was making having a girlfriend sound like being in a POW camp. No wonder Chuck ran for the hills (or, actually, ran to the really skinny interior decorator).

What's frustrating to me is that all of the new developments in the last 10 minutes or so of GG could have easily been saved for next season and rather quickly explained. Or not. What's wrong with allowing everyone to savor a story line (good or bad) for a while? I know the season was shortened by the strike, but why stick to the same rigid plot structure if doing it in fewer episodes means cheating it? Why not save something in the bag of tricks for next season?

You know I love you, Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, et. al., but you bit off way more than you could chew tonight. You're supposed to leave the audience wanting more...not wanting a neck brace to help with the whiplash.

It seems ridiculous to try to even comment on everything that happened, but here is my feeble attempt with some bullets:

• The shout out to Luscious Jackson was a nice blast from the past. Too bad their reunion didn't work out, because "Naked Eye" is a kick-butt track.
• With Lily and Rufus shacked up who knows where, no wonder Serena can stay out all night wandering around and Dan can have sleepovers with random girls... Eesh. And Jenny's apparently around too! I shudder to think about what trouble she could have gotten herself in while left unattended for a night.
• Chuck and Blair were so cute asleep together.
• Blair: "It's not like you ever do anything athletic."
  Chuck: "Well, that's not entirely true, now is it?"
  Blair: "Nothing that requires taking off your scarf, anyway."
  Chuck: "That was one time; it was chilly." (ha, Chuck is really attached to that scarf...)
• It was nice of Serena to give Dan a free pass on suddenly turning into a big slut...not that she kept it up for very long.
• Serena: "When I told my mom not to go away with Rufus, I said it was because you and I were forever. I know I was right." (hmm...)
• So Bart staged the elaborate building metaphor because he knows about Lily and Rufus? That was a little over the top. Couldn't he have just said, "Yo, Lily, pick between me and R once and for all, wouldya?" At least then he wouldn't have to sell his building. And he wouldn't have wasted so much of our time--which was at a tremendous premium tonight.
• Blair called in Georgie's parents! Ha! A boot camp for troubled girls! Ha! Ok, while I enjoyed this part while I was watching it, in retrospect, it too seemed a little rushed. All it took to get rid of the big, bad Georgina Sparks was to call in her parents? If that were really the case, why didn't Blair or Serena do that four episodes ago and save us all a whole lot of trouble?
• Blair: "Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here."
• Yea for using MGMT's "A Time To Pretend" in the soundtrack! That's one of my favorite songs right now.
• "Whore-gina"
• "I didn't sleep with her, but I may as well have." Wha? Just shut up, Dan.
• So Rufus and Lily love each other, but decided to have her marry Bart anyway? That doesn't seem like the best plan. Have they reconciled to the fact that they aren't meant to be together or are they just banking on the fact that she'll get another divorce in the near future?
• Who is the poor guy sitting next to Blair? Why is Dan sitting with a little girl?
• Serena is the saddest bridesmaid in the whole world.
• Chuck: "I was in love with Blair and I'm sorry." (Whoa!!! That moment alone would have held me over for the whole summer, but, nope, we still have miles to go before we sleep...)
• And, again, Nate has amazingly crappy parents. At least Lily and Eleanor have gotten to move somewhat beyond their ice-queen appearances, but Nate's parents are still just terrible.
• No, Dan, you got seduced by a girl pretending to be someone else because you're gullible.
• Ahh, but Serena's also missing the issue: it's not that she's not who Dan thought she was and he can't get over it--it's that she lies to him. A lot.
• I know Death Cab for Cutie when I hear it!
• My reaction when Chuck and Blair kissed: "AAHHHHHHHHHHHH."
• Chuck: "Let's take it slow this time; do it right."
  Blair: "Chuck Bass, a romantic! Who knew?"
  Chuck: "Now you do. That's all that matters." (Chuck is just killing me tonight--in a good way).
• Serena: "Oh, B, what's it going to take to get you to relax?"
• Blair: "Chuck!"
  Serena: "Eeew! My ears are bleeding!"
• I liked the characterizations of Vanessa as "Punky Brewster" and Nate as "Man Bangs."
• I'm totally not loving Serena/Nate or Dan/Vanessa. At least with Nate/Vanessa the two boringest people were kind of quarantined together.
• Serena: "Oh, Nate, when are you ever happy?"
• Doesn't this guy from Bart Bass' marketing division (or whatever he said) notice that Blair is a high school student?
• There wasn't even much time allotted for Gossip Girl to narrate :(
• So, Blair and Chuck get together and break up in, what, 10 minutes? Come on the hell on, people.
  

Ryan Hansen: Hot Step-Dad in 90210

Some interesting buzz in the TV world is that Rob Thomas, the creator of my beloved and revered Veronica Mars, has three different pilots picked up for next season: a reprise of Cupid, a spin-off of 90210, and a remake of foreign series Outrageous Fortune.

My take on this is that it's a good thing. It takes us several steps closer to my dream of someday having either Josh Schwartz or Rob Thomas create every show on television. My one reservation is that Rob is not going to have a whole lot of time to write us a Veronica Mars movie while he's writing three hour-long TV series. And, personally, I still want that movie.

Some of the best news of all is that Kristen Bell is in talks to star in the Outrageous Fortune show. That's great because KB is fantastic, and I know that Rob can utilize her talents in a much better way that Heroes has done/will do.

The good news about KB's possible casting made me think that Rob should focus on getting some of the other VM actors on his three shows. Surely there must be something for Wallace to do--my heart aches when I see him in Hot Pockets commercial. And I'd love to see Weevil resurface too.

But, my most awesome idea is that Ryan Hansen needs to have a role on 90210 as the really young, hot husband of somebody's mom. How great would that be? He could be the Ashton in an Ashton/Demi-type relationship. And, of course, all the high schoolers would be in love with him, and all kinds of inappropriate things would happen. It would be amazing.

Please, Rob, you know I'm right about this.

The Highlight of My Day

TVGuide online posted this fantastic interview with Josh Schwartz, my resident superhero.

The interview focuses on the release of The O.C. dvd and is amazing. Highlights include Josh saying that, in retrospect, he wishes they'd kept the characters of Anna and Luke around much longer (I've often thought that their early departures were one of the main flaws of the show) and discussing the tonal similarities between The O.C. and his two new shows (two of my favorites) Gossip Girl and Chuck. Now if only he'd mentioned Chuck's spoof of The O.C.'s New Year's Eve party, I'd be over the moon.

And, the interview is ginormous. I read it during both my breaks at work today, and I still didn't finish it! So, yes, this was definitely the highlight of my day.

Ode to Chuck

Unlike other shows that premiered strong and then tailed off a little or a lot in subsequent episodes (cough, Reaper, cough), the quality of Chuck started high and has even been steadily improving. The two Bilson episodes were fantastic and Bryce's return was also stellar. Along with Gossip Girl, Chuck now tops my list of appointment television. So, the question becomes: is there any way Josh Schwartz could make a show that I wouldn't love?

Oh, Chuck, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Chuck is hilarious. I've got weeks worth of lists of the hilarity that is this show, but I'm going to try to narrow it down to a few examples.

The shining example (at which I'm still laughing) in "Chuck vs. the Nemesis" was:

Awesome: "So, Thanksgiving: we're all supposed to say what we're thankful for..."
Casey: "Pass."
Chuck: "I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead and is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend."
Morgan: "Wow, buddy, that was dark."
Awesome: "And specific!"

Highlights in "Chuck vs. the Imported Hard Salami":

Morgan: "She is the hottest piece we are ever going to get! ...Beg for her back, Charles!"

Chuck: "Normally, here on planet Earth, a man will consider his feelings for a woman before jumping atop her."

"Chuck vs. the Truth" was fantastic. I mean, come on: Marshall Flinkman as a former elite gymnast turned rogue intelligence agent? Awesome. (I shudder to think what the world will come to if Blaine Wilson or the Hamm twins turn rogue.) Some of the best lines were:

Morgan: "I am a very busy man-boy."

Ellie: "Chuck, you need a haircut--it's starting to make funny animal shapes... At the time it seemed really important to have a New Kids fanny pack... Words taste like peaches!"

Chuck: "God, [Sarah,] you're so pretty. And Casey, your jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself!

And my favorites from "Chuck vs. the Sandworm":

Casey: "I'm sick of feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid."

Chuck: "We are--chronologically speaking--adults."

And Chuck and Morgan's endless debate about which sandwich they'd want if they were stranded on a desert island, especially Chuck's: "Think about it, Morgan, this is a desert island--mayonnaise doesn't fare well in the tropics!"

Chuck loves The O.C. almost as much as I do. There was my sneaking suspicion that a picture of Ryan and Marissa at Tijuana was hidden amongst the Intersect images and the shout out to "The O.C...season 2, which was underrated" during the awesome Buy More 'name-that-show' competition.

But The O.C. homage to end all homages came at the end of "Chuck vs. the Sandworm" when Chuck and Morgan reenacted shot-for-shot the iconic (to me, anyway) Ryan/Marissa New Year's Eve party moment. They played Finley Quaye's "Dice," Morgan sat looking glum, Chuck ran in out of breath, they spotted each other across the room, Chuck bumped into someone as he hurried toward Morgan and my heart was so full of love I could barely stand it.

Chuck is surprisingly sexy. "Chuck vs. the Imported Hard Salami" was hotter than anything on Grey's Anatomy in at least a year. Chuck (Zach Levi) and Lou (Rachel Bilson) made talking about sandwiches wildly hot. And then the Chuck/Sarah kiss in front of the ticking bomb was crazy sexy. Kudos to Zach Levi for finding a way to be both goofy and sexy. In case the past few years in popular culture haven't convinced you, here's some more proof that geeks are hot.

Chuck is extremely sweet. It is nice to watch a show about a guy who loves his sister and his friends and is a little meek and underachieving and a lot adorable. It just is.

Wednesday Wrap-Up

Gossip Girl: "Poison Ivy"
This episode was out to prove to us that not only are these kids rich and pretty, but they're also smart. At least some of them are... it doesn't look like Nate's going to be winning any academic decathlons any time soon. I loved though that one of Blair's lackeys turned out to be some sort of science genius! I didn't see that coming.

Best Dan Line:
"Dartmouth is my dream. And I've never asked Dartmouth, but I believe it's dreaming of me."

I seriously love this show:

• Jenny's singing group performing an a Capella version of "Glamorous" was hilarious.
• In my opinion, Nate has very few redeemable qualities, but, in his defense, his father is one ginormous tool.
• If Serena gets into Brown, I wonder if she'll ever run into Summer Roberts, another of Josh Schwartz's creations.
• Look at the belt Blair's wearing with her field hockey uni!
• Gym teacher: "I'm running out of colors here, Blair."
• Chuck: "Why should I be chosen to be an usher? I'm Chuck Bass."
• These kids are phenomenally good at social networking.
• The Ostroff Treatment Center is run by Dr. Donald Ostroff. I'm sure the similarities between his name and that of Dawn Ostroff, head of The CW, aren't coincidental, but I'm not really sure what we're supposed to make of them.
• I liked Eric's attempts to sell his "trip to Florida" cover story: "Go Marlins!" and "Save the manatees!"
• Blair reached a whole new level of bitchiness tonight outing Serena for her alleged rehab stint. At least Blair got her facts wrong and didn't reveal that it was actually Serena's little brother in the center... that would have really been a new low for her, surpassing even the mention of Cedric the Cabbage Patch Doll.
• Mrs. van der Woodsen was a little heavy-handed with the application of her blue eye make-up today...
• Why does Nate always sleep on Chuck's couch?

Dirty Sexy Money: "The Lions"

Ooh, more intrigue among the rich of NYC. It's kind of intense watching all the excess and debauchery of GG and then DSM. We still don't know much about who killed Dutch, and Tripp gave Nick a lead that is steering him in other directions, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Darlings end up right in the middle of it again.

We got some interesting insight into Tripp's character in this episode. He knows about his wife's multi-decade affair with his best friend, but still acts as though he doesn't to spare her feelings. That's actually kind of sweet. The scene where he told Nick to try her birthday as the combination for Dutch's briefcase was wrenching. I wonder if maybe one or two of the "Darlings" might turn out to actually be Nick's half siblings. That would be scary.

Highlights and observations:

• Nick's daughter is not Dakota Fanning's little sister anymore.
• Juliet: "I want to be normal-sized and independent."
• Rev. Brian: "She'll take you back if I have to shoot you at her with a cannon."
• Tripp talking Swedish to the illegitimate son and then saying, "Is he deaf? Was he in the train with his parents when it crashed?"

Private Practice: "In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor..."

Ok, so, Private Practice: take 3. I'd say this episode was the best so far, but still not great. They really seemed to stumble onto something there with the switched baby story. All of the guest actors playing the parents of the babies were great and the scene between the two mothers was devastating. If the episode had ended there, I'd have been left thinking, "Hmm, that was pretty good!" But the episode did NOT end there, no matter how much we wished it had.

Instead, we had to sit through 10+ more minutes of the annoying main characters being annoying. To a person, the main characters on this show are mopey, whiny and pathetic. I loved it when Cooper told Violet that her "fatal flaw" was "honesty." Because here I've been thinking that her fatal flaw is extreme, paralyzing patheticness! She needs to get a grip now. The guy who dumped her cannot possibly be worth all of this. Also badly in need of a grip is Naomi, whose character was strong and tough in last year's backdoor pilot, but is now just a more surly version of Violet.

And Tim Daly's "I like real women" speech just seemed like awful writing to me. It came out of absolutely nowhere and you could just tell that there was no reason this man would feel the need to give this women this long, heartfelt speech other than the fact that the people behind PP thought that their audience of 40-something women would eat it up. Gag, gag, gag.

And I'm not sure I'd want my doctor to be wearing flip flops.

Gossip Girl: The Wild Brunch

Ok. I very much enjoyed Gossip Girl's premiere last week, but this week's episode was even better! I have absolutely found my substitute for The O.C.

Highlights:

• Is it wrong that every time I hear Kristen Bell say, "You know you love me," I grin like a fool?
• The scene where Serena got out of the taxi and Dan waved at her was hysterical! Dan getting his face hit by the door was priceless. He suddenly seemed very Seth Cohen-like in that moment. And I loved the next day recap conversation about "the wave" between Jenny and Dan. It reminded me in the best way possible of Seth and Ryan talking after Marissa told Ryan she loved him and Ryan said, "Thank you." Jenny's "It was a nice wave," was just like Seth's "At least you were polite." Bring on the awkwardness, Josh Schwartz! You do it so well!
• Dan and Jenny have the oddest apartment situation. There was a big metal door that you can pull up and down between their bedrooms. Seems like that might get a little annoying.
• Blair's friends have matching Prada turbans!
• There was a very Marissa/Julie Cooper dynamic going between Serena and her mom.
• I love the scenes with Dan and the front desk guy. They're hilarious. I hope there's a scene between the two of them in every episode.
• Mrs. van der Woodsen: "I'd like to get out of here before someone throws me down and tattoos me."
• Dan: "I live in Brooklyn--not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks."
• And we have another crazy fancy party, and this one is complete with female models pretending to be statues. Wow. Loved that Dan tried to talk to one of them.
• Say what you want about Chuck, but he is one snazzy dresser.
• These people's parents are across the board awful. No wonder Blair, Chuck and Nate are insufferable.
• Blair (after Nate repeats the excuse that he and Serena were just going to talk about not talking): "That doesn't sound any smarter the second time."
• The climatic five-person group talk was great.
• Is it wrong that of all the secrets Blair revealed, I was most upset that she mentioned Dan's Cabbage Patch Doll? That is a low blow! What a bitch! :-) Poor Dan and poor Cedric. [Although I'm wondering how Dan came to have a Cabbage Patch Kid, since they were popular way before his childhood, which should have been in the mid-1990s.]
• Gotta love that there was another party and another fight.
• Gossip Girl: "Some might call this a fustercluck, but here on the Upper East Side, we call it Sunday afternoon."
• An awful lot has happened with these people in less than two days.
• Jenny bought hydrangeas! Someone definitely did not learn the lesson she should have learned from the Kiss On the Lips dance debacle. She's on a slippery slope.
• Serena was left alone in a very gritty looking NYC at the end.
• And it's only the 2nd episode and we've already got Rooney in the soundtrack. That's not surprising.

This is definitely the one new show so far that leaves me wanting to see more and more. Forget middle-aged doctors having emotional crises. Forget underachieving WalMart employees who suddenly find themselves saving the world. Forget people with special abilities. As far as I'm concerned, just bring on the rich white kids who throw fancy parties and tear each other to shreds! It might be shallow, but it's just so freaking entertaining.

Premiere Watch '07: Chuck

Well, Chuck was the second Josh Schwartz pilot to debut this fall (read my take on Gossip Girl here), and--not surprisingly--it was pretty darn good too. Chuck is certainly less likely of the two to garner comparisons to The OC, but, for the record, there were several fights, a party, and a trip to a Bait Shop-esque club.

Anyway, Chuck was delightful. Namely because of, well, Chuck. What's not to love about a character who is a little bit Seth Cohen, a little bit Jim Halpert, and a little bit Ed Stevens? That's a pretty unbeatable combination in my book (see? I still subconsciously quote The OC).

But, here again, Josh has created another "nerd" or "outsider" that is just too darn adorable to be a nerd or outsider (just like Dan from Gossip Girl). I was beside myself to understand why Chuck doesn't have women lined up around the block to go out with him--his date behavior was so cute. I suppose the secret to Chuck's isolation is that he never puts himself out in the world, as he still hasn't recovered from his college girlfriend dumping him for his roommate Bryce. (Speaking of the college girlfriend, can that please be who Rachel Bilson is going to play when she shows up for a multi-episode arc? That would be fantastic!)

Of course, the premise of the show is that Chuck accidentally absorbs all of the government's intelligence secrets into his head and unwittingly finds himself caught up in the dangerous world of spies and secret agents. The spy stuff turned out to be a lot of fun too. I loved how when Bryce was trying to escape, he did everything in the most complicated way possible (sliding under the table, going through the window above the door, etc.) ...because, seriously, how many times did Sydney Bristow make things harder on herself than she needed to? The ridiculousness continued when Sarah showed up dressed in black and was able to throw Chuck's computer in the air, beat everyone up, and still easily catch the computer. I guess the CIA has begun to recruit rhythmic gymnasts.

Another way Chuck spoofed previous spy shows was in having all the intelligence people speak in as many hard-boiled cliches as possible. This was really funny at first, but my concern is that the agents may have been a little too cliched. It looks like Sarah is well on her way to sprouting more of a personality (since we saw that Bryce was her boyfriend), and I hope that at least some of the other intel people become a bit more multifaceted.

Random question: do NSA agents really run around killing CIA agents willy-nilly? That seems kind of wrong. And is Sarah even allowed to be doing any of this spy stuff in the U.S. because my understanding was the the CIA can only operate outside of our borders? And why did Bryce clandestinely download his own government's secrets? Didn't the CIA already know that stuff? Ok, I realize that hardcore fans will tolerate some loose-ends when watching spy shows (see Rambaldi's "endgame"), but Chuck should maybe make more of an effort to not lose us all right off the bat.

Like The OC, much of the charm of Chuck is in the little witty comments, such as:

• Chuck: "Pedal safe!"
• Harry: "Do you know what 5 minutes is in Buy More dollars?"
  Chuck: "I didn't know we had our own currency."
• Chuck to the 'ninji' robbing his house: "Please, not the computer!"
• Chuck's coworker hypothesizing that the break in might be some sort of "ninji vendetta" and Chuck's response: "That's super. Thanks for thinking outside of the box on that one."
• Chuck asking the LargeMart employee to get "the guy at the front who's checking receipts" to come help. (I hate it when they do that at Circuit City!)
• CIA guy: "Nice guys aren't sent government secrets."
• NSA guy: "Don't puke on the C4."

And my other favorite parts and random observations:

• Was that the clip of Ryan carrying Marissa after her overdose in Tijuana in there amongst the other pictures encoded with government secrets? It sure looked like them. Does that mean that we were absorbing dangerous secrets while watching The OC? Because if it does, I'm in trouble.
• I loved that Chuck calls his sister's boyfriend "Captain Awesome."
• Is Agent Scardino (from Lois & Clark) Josh Schwartz's new best friend or something? First he showed up in The OC finale, and now he's the dad who didn't tape his daughter's ballet recital on Chuck. He's become the Greg Grunberg to Josh's J.J. Abrams!
• How smart was Chuck to use the porn site virus to crash the computer hooked up to the bomb! See, nerds make good CIA agents.
• The episode featured some good music: "Cobrastyle" by the Teddybears and then The Shins.

Premiere Rating: 8.0 / 10

(image from nbc.com)

Premiere Watch '07: Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl:

Well, you can't watch Gossip Girl without thinking about The O.C. At least I can't. But, to be fair, I can't do much of anything without thinking about The O.C. sooner or later. That's how much I love The O.C. Which means that any show gunning to be a replacement for my Newpsies is going to have a tough sell with me.

That said, Gossip Girl made a pretty valiant effort. There were, of course, some things I didn't like about it. Nate, for one. My sister nailed it when she said he's "too pretty and too whiny." I don't give a crap that he's "trapped" in his relationship with Blair. As far as I can tell, he deserves no better.

Blair also didn't do much for me. I wasn't initially impressed with Serena, but she grew on me. I thought Chuck was funny in a Cliff/Dick Casablancas/Cappie kind of way at first, but, no, that kid's just creepy. Somebody needs to learn that "no" means no.

Another complaint is that, in the pilot episode at least, Gossip Girl is not as funny as The O.C. was. Although technically the pilot of The O.C. wasn't all that hilarious either, with the exception of Seth Cohen, who turned the world upside down. Which leads me to...

Dan (I like Penn, his real name, better) is clearly the Seth of this show. He's the outsider who is not included in the cool crowd. The problem here is that I can't figure out why. Seth was not cut from the same clothe as the popular water polo players; he was obviously completely different and didn't fit in. But other than the fact that he's apparently not as wealthy as everyone else, Dan seems pretty much in line with the rest of the GG bunch. He's not all that weird and he's freaking gorgeous! The pay off of Serena possibly falling for Dan is a little cheapened if he's so obviously hot, isn't it?

Not that I'm complaining too much about Penn's hotness. I don't complain when someone who looks like a blend of Andy Roddick and James Franco appears on my TV screen. Or next to me in the line at Target. Or in a passing car. Or in my living room. Or anywhere.

Now, not surprisingly, a lot of what I liked about Gossip Girl reminded me of what I liked about The O.C. There was a party and a fight after all. That's one Josh Schwartz formula that goes a long way toward creating awesome television.

Another Josh Schwartz theme that surfaced in this episode was the recurring "main character staring out of the window of a moving vehicle" motif. I've documented well how much I love the scenes of Ryan in the car coming to Newport and Ryan in the car leaving Newport which bookended The O.C. pilot episode (and reoccurred in the Season 1 finale). That motif work just as well in GG with Serena nervously arriving on the train and then contentedly riding home in the cab. Josh Schwartz, I love the way you put together a pilot.

And, finally, Kristen Bell is a master of the voice over. Nobody can do snarky better than KB. Gossip Girl signs off, "You know you love me," and, yes, I really, really do.

Other random thoughts:

• I can't believe Serena's last name is van der Woodsen. That's such a mouthful.
• I wonder what the deal with Dan and Jenny's mom is. And I totally saw it coming that Rufus and Serena's mom used to date. I guess they're the Kirsten and Jimmy of Gossip Girl. I'm a little confused about the logistics of it all though. If I understood correctly, she cheated on him with Trent Ressner from Nine Inch Nails, so that was early to mid '90s probably. And Rufus still had time to marry someone else and have a kid who's about 17 now? I'm confused.
• These kids do know how to rock a school uniform. Teen Vogue would be proud.
• I guess child celebrities aren't the only ones who can get served in bars despite being underage.
• Nate's dad is a classy guy, what with whoring out his son to score a lucrative business deal and all...
• It looks like all the moms on this show are various forms of Julie Cooper.
• I'd feel so much better about life in general if The CW didn't use that Pussy Cat Doll as their spokesperson. It just drags up old, upsetting memories.
• Sometimes in life, it helps to be a good text messager.

Best lines:
Dan: "Save some trees, have a blog."
Dan: "What? When Prince Charming found Cinderella's glass slipper no one accused him of having a foot fetish! ...No, she doesn't know me, nobody knows me! "
Dan: "You'd really go out with some guy you don't know? "
Serena: "Well, you can't be worse than the guys I do know."
Dan: "This is a date? Oh, well maybe I should have worn my loafers then."
I know I'm probably reading too much into this, but the pilot made me think that Gossip Girl could totally be Chuck. At the end, he threatenly told Serena, "I know everything!" which is exactly what Gossip Girl likes to say. Hmm...
My Premiere Score: 7.5 / 10