On The O.C. (in observance of the fifth anniversary of the series finale)

photo: The WB

The final episode of The O.C., "The End's Not Near, It's Here," aired five years ago today on Feb. 22, 2007.


It's difficult for me to believe that it's been five years since I last hung out with Ryan, Seth, Summer, Sandy, Kirsten and Julie, but that's probably because I haven't spent the last five years without them. I have probably thought about them at one point or another every day since then. As weird/sad/awesome as it is to say, those characters and that show became a part of me.

So many moments from The O.C.'s run are iconic to me: from "Welcome to the O.C., bitch" and Ryan carrying Marissa after her overdose to Captain Oats and Chrismukkah to the New Year's Eve kiss and Seth and Ryan's horror at discovering Luke and Julie's affair. From Seth sailing away and Marissa's poolside freak out to Ryan chasing Marissa around with a giant penguin and Seth and Summer's Spider-Man kiss. The list goes on and on and features so many of my favorite moments ever on television.

I know The O.C. wasn't flawless. There were missteps: the Marissa-goes-to-public-school arc, many of the Sandy/Kirsten love triangle attempts, Sandy running the Newport Group... Season 3 was rough in general. And I will probably never agree that killing Marissa off was the right thing to do for the story. I'll readily admit that some of the other shows I've watched have more consistently maintained a higher level of quality than The O.C. did during its duration - Breaking Bad, Arrested Development, Community, Mad Men, and certain stretches of Lost, for example.

But, still, The O.C. remains my favorite of them all. Because when I define "favorite" as the show that has most infiltrated the various aspects of my life, The O.C. takes the title in a landslide. It has impacted the actors I like, the movies and TV shows I've watched, the music I listen to, the books I've read, the things I laugh at, the way I talk, and the way I think.


The O.C. premiered the summer before I started college and ended a couple of months after I graduated, and different moments from the show remain forever tied to different moments in my life. I remember watching the pilot in the summer of 2003 (coincidentally right before I took my own trip to Orange County) and being excited by the unexpected awesomeness the show offered. I remember being rendered so desperate by my lack of a working television during my first week of freshman year that I made a rare attempt at socializing with other people on my floor just so I'd have somewhere to watch The O.C. Just hearing the opening strains of "Honey and the Moon" sends me instantly back to my freshman dorm room, where I obsessively listened to The O.C. soundtrack while studying for finals. I remember my four different dorm rooms that I watched the show in, and I know which one I was in when Marissa shot Trey and where I was sitting when Marissa died. And I remember watching the finale five years ago and bawling like a little child during Ryan's flashbacks in the Cohen house (the image of Marissa standing on the curb while Ryan drives away gets me every freaking time).


I started this blog a couple of months after The O.C. concluded its run, so I don't have an blow-by-blow online account of my adoration for the show like I do for Greek and So You Think You Can Dance and others. But it's rather telling that in the past five years, after it's last episode had aired, I still managed to mention The O.C. and its characters in 86 posts on this blog. (This post makes number 87.)

The O.C.'s Season 1 finale was called "The Ties That Bind," and some pretty formidable ties continue to bind me to this show. So how will I observe this milestone? By watching the series finale. I think it will be the first time I've watched the entire episode since it aired five years ago, a fact that's especially surprising considering that I've probably watched many episodes of this show upwards of a dozen times. But I've never been really excited to watch the finale again, although I absolutely loved it. I think I just never wanted to remind myself that the show was actually gone. But on this anniversary I think I can handle watching the finale again, because after five years it's clear that The O.C. has become part of my identity and, to me, it will never truly be gone.

Lost: My John Locke Amigurumi (We All Grieve In Different Ways)

It's been almost a week since the series finale of Lost aired, and I still can't stop thinking about it and feeling sad that the show's over.

I'm also currently obsessed with crochet, and these two obsessions have collided and resulted in this:

My John Locke Amigurumi:




Admittedly, I'm not the hugest fan of John Locke. In fact, I liked a lot of other Lost characters more than I liked him. But I was preparing to try to make a Sheldon Cooper amigurumi by following these fantastic instructions, http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=323108.0 , and--since I haven't bought brown yarn yet--I was practicing making the head with just the ecru yarn. And since I think of little else than Lost at the moment, I saw the bald head and immediately thought, "John Locke!" I adapted the pattern, using Locke-appropriate colors for the clothes (he wore a lot of neutrals and khakis).

Notice that he carries a knife. He can wear it around his waist (as seen above) when he's just strolling around the Island, admiring its beauty, but he can unholster it when he needs to go boar hunting...or take out the scout from the freighter, etc.:

Gossip Girl: Diplomatic Breakdown

Gossip Girl:

"The Hurt Locket"

Ahh, Gossip Girl. You've been away for several months and yet I have not missed you. To review, last fall I spent the majority of my Gossip Girl related blog space bemoaning that the show was displaying very little of its past awesomeness in its third season. Then the show ripped off Saved By The Bell by having its characters stage a modern, rhyming version of Snow White, and I just stopped talking about it at all.

I once mused, "Could Josh Schwartz make a show that I don't love?" I now am beginning to fear that the answer to that question is "the third season of every Josh Schwartz show." The O.C.'s third season--with mopey Johnny and cousin Sadie and Volchok and Ryan's one-night stand with a waitress and Kirsten being swindled and Sandy running the Newport Group and Seth burning down the Newport Group with a joint and Dean Hess and Taylor Townsend and Marissa being killed--was no gem. Chuck's third season, at least, has not be bad, but it also hasn't really lived up to the promise of its brilliant last few episodes of Season 2 (and other brilliant episodes in the show's first two seasons).

And then there's Gossip Girl. I'm not sure what to say at this point. I'm getting dangerously close to cutting it loose. I'm not as loyal with television shows as I once was. I haven't watched Damages in weeks because of time slot issues, and I still enjoy that show. I can't say I'm enjoying GG anymore. Also, I was willing to stick it out through The O.C.'s rocky patches in Season 3 because I loved the characters--even when they were doing stupid things that they probably would never have done. I'll stick with Chuck because I genuinely care about those characters too. But I don't care much for any of the residents of the Upper East Side at this point.

Back in the heyday of Gossip Girl, I used to write down line after line after line for my highlights and quotes list. For this episode, I wrote down one quote, and that was Jenny's crack about Dan's Cabbage Patch Kid, which was really just a retread of a joke we've heard many times before.

In any event, here's the play-by-play:

• They are trying to butter me up with some Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros ("Janglin"). Nice try.
• This expository conversation between Serena and Damien is insufferable.
• Oh come on. Are we still worrying about secret societies?
• Wow, Jenny actually spent time with her mother?
• Jewelers operate under a code of client confidentiality?
• Not sure if I'm bummed or glad that we haven't seen Dan yet. Oh, there he is. I think I was glad to not see him.
• Nate just said "Whatever happens, happens." Did he just accidentally get beamed into an episode of Lost?
• Am I supposed to know who this lady is? Was she on the co-op committee?
• Oops, I just fast-forwarded through most of the Dan/Rufus conversation and it was tough to convince myself to rewind and watch the whole scene...
• No, Jenny, all the girls are not going to want to wear pharmaceuticals if they look like that.
• Oh for God's sake, Blair. It's just a secret society. Get over it.
• Of course Serena pairs the drug jacket with a dress with a plunging neckline.
• Jenny actually looks kind of nice. Perhaps it is because her hair is actually brushed and not sticking out of her head like a bird's nest.
• Gosh, I even think I like Jenny's bizarre sparkly/spiderweb dress.
• Holy crap! The slit up the skirt of Serena's dress! She went to party for diplomats dressed like a hooker.
• Jenny: "Why would you take relationship advice from a guy who has a Cabbage Patch doll?"
• Wow, Bart really is the gift that keeps on giving. He saddled his son with the guilt of thinking his mother died giving birth to him and that's not what happened?
• Now, GG is trying to butter me up with The xx ("Crystalised"). Play anything you want, GG; it's not going to win me over if Rufus and Lily are on the screen.
• Um, if Serena's having sex in a public coat room, I'm thinking she hasn't changed that much since boarding school.
• So Chuck doesn't know his own mother when he sees her? Bring a freaking picture, Bass. She can't look that much different than she did 18 years ago! (Unless there is some kind of plastic surgery involved.)
• Hey, Blair, if you want the lady to tell you what she knows, perhaps you should not turn and walk away when she opens her mouth to speak?
• OMG, I thought the show was over. There's still more. And it involves Rufus and Lily. Grrrrooooaaan.
• Um, why did Serena steal someone's coat and wear it out of the party? Why didn't she just put her dress back on?
• Well, I know I'm getting tired of looking at Bart's face in that locket.

(Photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Geek Chic

Greek:

"Pride and Punish- ment"

Highlights and play-by-play:

• Wow, now Casey has to investigate her own crime. That's convenient.
• Evan's looking dreamy as usual in his argyle sweater.
• Can't believe Rusty's trying to impress this poor girl by bragging about his science grant.
• Ashleigh's in Rusty's class! I was right; we are starting Ashleigh/Rusty! Bring it on.
• Evan isn't happy that Casey (and Cappie) are "expecting [him] to be third wheel in [their] fantasy recreation of freshman year."
• Not sure I'm on board with Casey's cardigan. Looks like something I'd expect to see Ashleigh wear.
• Casey sounds a little hoarse.
• Evan and Cappie are making a mockery of Amphora.
• Ash (to Dale, when he's not trying to be funny): "Oh, I get it, you're being funny."
• A "nerd auction," Ash? That's not insulting at all...
• Beaver: "Casey, I'm ready for my bedtime story."
• Casey: "I'll be back in 15 minutes. 20 if Beaver's fussy."
• Oh, poor Katherine! Her barfing roommate is horrible.
• Does Katherine know? Is she guilting Casey into telling the truth by being so nice?
• Cappie using "My girlfriend's in labor at County General" as an excuse to cut in the drop/ad line.
• Ha at Rusty's new hair and glasses. It's not bad though; the look's kind of working for him.
• Dale: "Nice glasses, J.J. Have you figured out how Lost is going to end yet?"
• With this hair, Rusty's giving off a bit of a Franco vibe (as in James or Dave).
• Ha ha ha at Rusty's "geek chic" outfit.
• Ash: "Work that sweater vest."
• Hey, this girl was on Veronica Mars. Imagine someone from VM turning up on Greek... Anyway, mock-surprise aside, she was one of the angry sorority girls who stuck the Easter egg up Chip Diller's bleedin' bum, I believe.
• So that geek chic outfit really worked? I was on-board with the hair and glasses, but the outfit is a bit Howard Wolowitz.
• Can't believe Casey just told the Gamma Psi president about burning down the house. She should have at least gone to Katherine first.
• Wow, it's hard to believe that Rebecca was just on Bones playing a former call-girl, huh?
• That's the professor teaching the class about sex?!? And people want to take this class?!? And Evan wears his pink bow tie around campus?!? Kind of an unbelievable minute we're having here.
• Serving drinks in the beakers and test tubes is cute.
• Fisher has some nerve! Why is he even taking his girlfriend to the geek auction? They must not have the event labeled well.
• Ha ha, Dale's auctioning himself off.
• Dale brought in $50! Good for him!
• Ha ha at Casey's reaction to the theater guy saying he'll be nude in "Hair."
• Holy crap! Natalie slept with this theater guy to get him to fix the competition! Yeeesh.
• Beaver: "I can't believe we missed the nerd auction! I've always wanted my own nerd!"
  Cappie: "There's always next year."
  Beaver: "That's easy for you to say; you have Rusty."
• Beaver: "When someone's a friend, you have to let them make their own mistakes. Like when you let me lick that battery. That was a mistake, but you let me make it. Three times."
• See, that Evan Chambers is an evil genius. His plan got Casey and the ZBZs out of trouble in no time.
• Cappie: "I was trying to give some to Rebecca...advice, that is. Give some advice to Rebecca."
• Dale: "And that retainer comes out, if you know what I mean."
• Uh, Dana has some rage issues. Yep, she is kind of off-putting when you first meet her; she's got that right. And, honestly, she's still kind of off-putting after you've known her for awhile.
• Oh, Rusty/Ashleigh is so on. So on.
• Katherine knew that Casey was bluffing with the score sheets (the real ones are still buried) but didn't call her on it.
• Katherine: "Lifetime would make several movie adaptations and they'd probably hire some manish starlet to play me because I'm tall."
• Aww, I hope Casey makes amends with Katherine. I don't want Katherine to feel so sad. Casey should at least get Katherine a room in the ZBZ house so she doesn't have to stay with that horrid, barfing girl.
• Oh no! Next week, Ashleigh is dating Beaver! Ahahaha! I'll jump right off the Rusty/Ashleigh bandwagon for Ashleigh/Beaver!

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Premiere Watch '09: FlashForward

FlashForward: "No More Good Days"

I liked this pilot. Sure, it was trying awfully hard to be Lost at times, and some parts worked better than others. For example, I wasn't particularly infatuated with any of the characters. I'm sure we'll get to know more about them and hopefully grow to like them more in future episodes. It would have been difficult for a show to both showcase its characters and establish this kind of high-concept premise all in the pilot episode. (Not that it's impossible--Lost was able to do it, and I think that Life on Mars did a pretty good job of it last year.)

But I did find the high-concept premise to be really interesting. Everyone time-hopping to the future all at once!? How strange and interesting. It actually seems a bit like a Fringe plot, but I like that it's this one strange occurrence that we're going to deal with in this series, where as Fringe has a never-ending parade of weird events.

One good/bad thing about the FlashForward pilot was that it made me feel very, very nervous. Like Lost, I think FF has the potential to be a very interesting show, but it's not exactly low-stress entertainment. I'm interested to see if FF begins to work in some occasional comedic relief (like Lost has done masterfully), because watching it might give me an anxiety attack if it doesn't.

Play-by-play:

• So apparently everyone blacking out at the same time can cause some major problems.
• Penny has no accent!
• Those balloons are awesome!
• The cinematography looks Lost-esque. Be on the look out for Jacob. I would not be at all surprised if he's behind all this.
• OMG, for a second, I thought the guy talking about his Marine daughter was Richard Hatch!
• Demetri: "I cannot dance to 'Islands in the Stream'! I will never live it down."
• I like the rapid-fire jumping around from person to person to this jazzy music.
• The pickup truck flying through the air wasn't a sign that they needed backup?
• Oh no! There go the balloons!
• Charlie dreamt that "there were no more good days." That's not good.
• Where'd the kangaroo come from? Is that like the polar bear on Lost? Six years from now, are we still going to be wondering where the kangaroo came from?
• Oh geez, airplanes!
• "People probably died walking up the stairs."
• Wow, Mark is perceptive for noticing a calendar and putting together that his consciousness jumped to the future. Well, maybe not--everyone else seems to have noticed a calendar too.
• They jumped to April 29, 2010, 10 p.m. So can there be a second season to this show or does it all become a mute point after April 29?
• Go Demetri! Even with all this going on, he still managed to haul the blonde into the station.
• The guy who saw himself in London during the flash looks familiar. (Holy cow, how mortifying is it to admit that I think I recognize this guy--Lee Thompson Young--from The Famous Jett Jackson? Oh wow.)
• That was not a very realistic looking view of London from the window. It kind of looked like a cartoon.
• OMG! Big Ben's on fire! Put it out!!!
• Convenient that people were undergoing brain scans at the time.
• Uh oh. Demetri saw nothing.
• Aww, this poor dude was in the bathroom. That's embarrassing.
• So who thinks Mark knocks this girl up? She did laugh at his "sweetheart" crack.
• They're going to need a really big web site if everyone's posting their visions on it. I bet someone's already started the web site anyway. Twitter probably crashed from all the traffic.
• You don't always dream when you're asleep, do you? So wouldn't it be possible that someone who saw nothing was asleep?
• So because he's alive in April, does that mean that Bryce wasn't going to kill himself anyway? Or him being alive in April proves that the visions were always supposed to happen? (Oh geez, it feels like we're plunging into the debates we've already had for Lost.)
• Aaron's daughter is Kris Furillo from Wildfire!!!!!!!!!!!
• Whoa, this guy's daughter was alive in the flash forward. That's strange.
• If Olivia (Penny) didn't want to talk about what she saw, she probably shouldn't have asked Mark what he saw. That kind of invited a follow up question.
• I know who the guy Olivia was with was! He was on Swingtown.
• And there's the friendship bracelet. Never has a friendship bracelet seemed so ominous.
• This FBI girl has no life. She's been watching hours and hours and hours of surveillance tapes all day long? Can't anyone else help her with this? And how did she spot that guy? Crazy good eyes!
• I'm very unnerved by all of this.

Premiere Rating: 7.5/10

Premiere Watch '09: Vampire Diaries

Vampire Diaries:
"Pilot"

The similarities of Vampire Diaries to Twilight are so ubiquitous that I'm largely going to ignore them and try to judge Vampire Diaries on its own merits. After this pilot episode, it's merits are kind of eh. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't all that engaging either. I've heard that VD (that's kind of an embarrassing acronym to have, right?) will expand its focus beyond the tortured love story between the good vampire and the nice girl and tell a larger story about the town. That idea sounds more intriguing to me, since a lot of us have done the tortured-love-story-between-the-good-vampire-and-the-nice-girl thing to death with Twilight at this point.

The VD pilot itself was on the hokey side. There were a few too many introspective voice overs disguised as journal entries for my taste. I mean, why make people act when they can just tell us exactly what they're supposed to be feeling, right? Also, the show absolutely telegraphed every time something "momentous" happened by bring the action to a screeching halt for a dramatic pause and a close up shot. The lead actors did all right with what they had to work with, but I wasn't blown away by them or any of the supporting characters.

I'll probably be giving this show some more time to better establish itself and then see how I feel about it. At this point, I feel like it could go either way: fun, guilty pleasure or total crap.

Highlights and my thoughts:

• No, lady, don't run away from the car! Get in it! You're not save at all running around in the open.
• Historically, this Paul Wesley guy always rubs me the wrong way. I'm not really sure why but I never like him in anything I see him in. I wonder if it's because he's the whack job from Long Beach who broke Holly's blender and then shot Luke on The O.C. or if it runs deeper than that?
• The aunt looks younger than the two high school kids.
• I'm getting a serious Cassidy Casablancas vibe from the brother (Jeremy).
• The show has been on for 3 minutes and I think they've already had four different soundtrack songs.
• I've seen this Vicki girl before. (She was in The O.C. and much better in Freaks and Geeks.) And her boyfriend is familiar as well. (He played on of Naomi's many boyfriends in the new 90210. The drag racer I think?)
• So on this show, vampires can hypnotize people with their eyes?
• Dreamy vampires seem to have a very specific hair style.
• I guess vampires on this show don't have to walk gracefully. This dude is absolutely lumbering down the hallway.
• Elena is wearing some serious hoop earrings.
• At least this vampire guy doesn't look like he's going to barf when gets close to the girl. That's helpful.
• Whoa, that fog is alarming.
• This Elena girl (Nina Dobrev) kind of reminds me a little bit of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
• This show sure is trying awfully hard to make journaling popular again.
• Elena is wearing quite a skimpy shirt.
• "You keep a journal!?!?!" Oh, gag.
• They're playing MGMT? Weren't they the makers of the "it" pilot songs last year?
• Now they're playing Placebo's "Running Up That Hill"!? That's from the freaking Season 4 premiere of The O.C.! And suddenly I have been taken completely out of Vampire Diaries and am instead thinking about Ryan cage fighting in Mexico after Marissa died. Must re-focus...
• Ok, there was an 1864 version of Elena? That's kind of interesting.
• Is history the only class these people attend?
• Wow, what is up this teacher's ass? It's what, the second day of school? There's no need to be this bitter already.
• Whoa, Bonnie, the friend really is psychic or extra-perceptive or something. That's kind of freaky.
• Gee, this Vicki chick is just a ray of sunshine. I can see why Jeremy is so hung up on her...
• The Jennifer's Body/Gossip Girl cross promotion is kind of awkward. I mean, Blair is nasty, but she doesn't go around killing people.
• Who is this Zach dude in Stefan's house who dishes out lectures?
• Dramatic pause, close up shot, and it's...Boone!
• Damon: "Remember, Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads!"
• I think Boone's cheeks are a little too rosy for a vampire.
• Elena is a dead ringer for Catherine.
• Things did not end well with Catherine.
• Boone has Cole Hamels hair. That's probably not a good thing.
• So Stefan can only survive in the sunlight if he's wearing the ring? I'm so not up on the Vampire Diaries mythology. But, then again, I don't care all that much.
• How come vampires never fall for blondes? (Except, I guess, for Angel and Buffy.)
• Do Vicki and Matt not have parents either?

Premiere Rating: 6.5/10

(photo: cwtv.com)

MIOBI: National Selection (Survival of the Fittest)

Make It Or Break It: "All That Glitters"

While I have continued to watch MIOBI on a weekly basis, I abandoned blogging about it because it was exhausting trying to point out every ridiculous thing that happens on this show. Especially when the ridiculousness is not limited to misrepresentations of gymnastics but also stretches to misrepresentations of the real world (like when Emily's mom went somewhere to pay her electricity bill or people ride a bus from Boulder to Boston and arrive in less than a day or when the girls scared off the creepy guys by doing flips or any number of other inane moments).

If you know anything at all about gymnastics (or the real world), it's best to just try to put it out of your mind as much as possible while watching MIOBI. If you can shut your brain off a bit, you can focus on things like how cute Carter is and how the second Pizza Boy is kind of creepy but also kind of funny and that the Kmetkos are still pretty likable despite being annoying and that Payson is pretty amusing in her own way. In honor of the finale of the first half-season, however, I'm going to keep my brain on and give blogging a go for this episode. Please bear in mind that I couldn't write down all of the inaccuracies and fallacies due the the sheer number of them.

Highlights and ridiculousness:

• I'm still not buying that Kaylie's dad took diamonds out of his World Series ring and put them in a necklace for Kaylie.
• Those are some rather un-fancy looking warmups the Rock girls are sporting.
• I don't think the press goes this crazy for gymnasts arriving at Nationals (maybe at the Olympics though). It's not the Oscars.
• Guy in the lobby with a camera: "Kaylie Cruz, let's see what's in your gym bag!" WHA? That's horrible! Keep the camera out of the poor girl's gym bag!
• Pizza Boy 2 calls Emily "Tumble-ina"
• Seriously, what happened to the other pizza shop guy? He's been gone for a very, very long time. It doesn't even make sense storyline-wise to bring him back at this point, since Emily's been through so much more with Pizza Boy 2 now.
• Nationals isn't on a podium?! Are you kidding me?
• Pizza Boy 2's going to take Emily's brother to Boston from Boulder on Radiohead's bus?! That's supposed to going to Atlanta?! Did anything in that sentence make any sense at all?
• Lauren: "And that would be our team captain."
• Carter came to Boston even though he got suspended? Hasn't he been enough of a distraction to Kaylie? Just cool it off for a while, dude. You're coming on a bit strong.
• If Kaylie doesn't want him anymore, I'm sure Carter could pick up a few other girlfriends here in Boston with all the gymnastics groupies running around.
• Wow, Payson looks gorgeous marching out into the arena in her competition makeup! I didn't even recognize her. I'm usually not a big fan of over-exuberant eye makeup on gymnasts (example: Nastia Liukin at 2009 Nationals a couple weeks ago), but it looks amazing on Payson.
• How does Lauren get all of her hair (it's seriously almost down to her waist) into that tiny little side bun thing?
• No, commentator, the judges aren't going to be looking for "more personality" from Lauren; they're going to be looking for some actual gymnastics skills. (On the bright side, it seems that having annoying commentators was the one part of the Nationals experience that MIOBI got correct!)
• Wow, Payson and Kelly are still trash-talking mid-meet! That's intense.
• Payson's uneven bars routine would be so much more impressive if she actually did a release move.
• Why are the Rock's gymnasts all competing on different events? How is Sasha supposed to coach gymnasts on four different events at once? This is asinine.
• Wow, Payson really solidified her lead with that Gainer full twist dismount. Yes, that was a beam dismount with just one twist. And, look, Kelly Parker did a beam dismount with just one twist too! How impressive. Yep, these two have "National champion" written all over them.
• There should be a lot more hugging at this competition. Do the people who make this show ever watch any gymnastics competitions at all?
• How does Kelly Parker know all of the Rock girls' dirty secrets? Does she have spies?
• The gymnasts have to go to a cocktail party after the competition? Whose horrendous idea is that?
• Payson: "We are tanking in there because we're all acting like a bunch of petty little bitches!"
• If Emily just keeps visualizing herself falling right before she starts each event, she's actually doing surprisingly well.
• Pizza boy: "You strike the bars like a cobra."
• You strike the bars like a cobra?! WHAT?! That's quite possibly literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my whole entire life. Including the time the girl in front of me in line in the dining hall at college confused okra with orca and told her friend that the dining hall was serving us whale.
• I guess Pizza Boy should be a sports psychologist. He spouts out some completely random, irrelevant, illogical nonsense and suddenly Emily's right as rain.
• Emily: "I can't believe you came this far."
  Me: "I can't believe Radiohead let you drive their bus to Boston when they were trying to go to Atlanta!"
  
• It is still creepy to no end that Naomi from Lost is the sports agent. I wonder if she's still working for Charles Widmore in some capacity.
  
• Ha ha! Who wants to bet that this "what's in your gym bag" segment isn't going to be around much longer? You just can't show a box of condoms on the jumbo-tron at a gymnastics meet. There are far too many little children around.
  
• It's weird/cool that the Rock girls all get to wear different leos in the same color scheme.
  
• Wow, Kaylie should just set up a give-back-the-necklaces booth right there at the edge of the stands. This is ridiculous.
  
• Kayle scores a 16.2 on vault for a Yurchenko half?! ARGH!!! That score is literally not even possible for that vault. There are girls who do vaults with 1.5 or even 2 more twists than that who don't get scores that high in the real world! It annoys me that MIOBI tries to appear legitimate by using the new, non-10.0-based scoring system but then award obscenely high scores for the skills they show the girls doing. If you didn't know anything about gymnastics and you watched an actual competition after watching this show, you wouldn't be able to understand why the gymnasts were doing skills that looked so much harder and still receiving scores that are so much lower.
  
• Candace (Summer) can just walk down out of the stands and onto the competition floor?! Where is the security in this place?
  
• How is Payson going to pass Kelly Parker when she's just going a Yurchenko back tuck on vault? Oy vey.
  
• Yeesh! Actually Payson's horrendous fall is probably what "hitting the bar like a cobra" would actually look like. I mean, a cobra has no hands! It wouldn't go well!
  
• Ouch! That was a nasty fall from Payson on UB! It reminds me of the time Kerri Strug took that really nasty fall off bars and injured her back (and they showed that clip in all her documentaries).
  
• I can't believe Sasha let Emily do her old floor routine. That was a bad call. How she didn't get laughed out of the arena is beyond me.
  
• Payson does have three years before the Olympics, people. I'm sure she can find a doctor doing some kind of crazy experimental back surgery by then.
  
• Lauren: "Come on, Kay! You've got her whipped!" (Lol, that is so not something an actual gymnast would say.)
  
• At least Kelly Parker can do a double pike on floor. Actually it looks like she did two of them, unless that was supposed to be a full-in and I missed the twist. That's probably wishful thinking though.
  
• Yea Kaylie!
  
• Oh yeah, I forgot that Kaylie's brother liked Emily too. For someone who is supposed to have no boyfriends, she's got like three.
  
• Wow, Emily makes one National team and suddenly the rules don't apply to her!?
  
• I usually detest the music on this show, but I have to admit that this Mika "We Are Golden" song is darn catchy.
  

Argh, this show in infuriating. And yet I still watch it... Luckily, MIOBI is going on hiatus for awhile so Greek and come back and I can stop hanging my head in shame for awhile.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: It's the End of the World as We Know It

Greek:

"At World's End"

I've really been delayed in getting around to watching the second season finale (I think that's what this episode technically was) of Greek, but I was really in the mood to watch something fun, and Greek definitely delivered with this episode.

Granted, I could frankly take or leave this Cappie/Casey stuff at this point, and I was sad to see Max in such despair when he finally saw the writing on the wall about that situation, but for the most part, this episode was fun, fun, fun. The best part was that it managed to work in almost all of the show's mostly awesome characters. (Evan and Beaver did get a little bit shafted, but they were there. I don't think Betsy was in it though, but she was mentioned.) And the episode had so much fantastic Dale/Calvin interaction, that it was impossible not to love it.

Highlights and observations:

• Dale's distaste at Rusty and Jordan's debate on "Jordy" vs. "Rustdan"
• Dale: "Can anybody tell me why this class is worth three units? Every first-grader in Wetumpka knows that the pig is whipping that guy because of lustfulness."
• Ash: "I feel kind of Betsy-ish having a drink at lunch anyway."
• Is it a bad sign that when Max came home early, he knew he'd find Casey in the bar during lunchtime?
• Aww, Max got Casey the lipstick she wanted from his advisor lady.
• Ash: "You know how P. Diddy has an all-white ball in the Hamptons? I was thinking that we could do a similar thing here and have an all-blue ball."
  Cappie: "I can't top that."
• Frannie: "Everyone knows you hate my house."

  Cappie: "I like the English Tudor style."
• Ashleigh might get expelled from the university over this homecoming float prank?! Sheesh.
• Max: "Good, because I just picked out the costumes for our Star Wars wedding.
• The Kappa Taus brainstorming is usually hilarious. (The highlight here being Ben Bennett's "No, girls!" and Cappie's "No girls!?"
• Jordan: "We talked about the end of the world in art history today."
  Cappie: "That's it!"

  Heath: "Art history, baby!"
• Dale and Calvin together are just too funny.
• Dale: "See, she's making me a sundae! She's putting the chocolate on two scoops of...breasts, breasts, breasts...."

  Calvin: "I think she's looking for the banana split, Dale."
• Calvin: "Why can't your purity pledge brothers help you out with this?

  Dale: "They took a trip to Fire Island together. Smart guys too; in this economy, they booked a single queen to save money. Speaking of single queens, what are you going to do about Grant?"
• Calvin: "We're in the same fraternity. Having sex with your brother is like--"

  Dale: "Having sex with your brother?"
• Aww, a Dale and Calvin purity pledge!
• At least Casey didn't get dirty when she fell down the manhole.
• Aww, I'd forgotten that I like Max/Rusty way more than I like Max/Casey.
• Max is looking kind of buff. He must be beefing up for Melrose Place version 2.0.
• WHAT?!?! Now there are marijuana plants in a sorority house?! Put another tally in the "Greek rips off Veronica Mars" column.
• Dale: "But, baby, won't we be late for Showgirls?"
• Rusty's advisor: "Why would you take a liberal arts class as an elective? Those classes seem easy because they're stupid! I tried to have that whole side of the campus razed, but apparently hippies need classrooms too."

  Rusty: "Stupid hippies. That tie-dyed guy in the quad is the one who recommended art history!"
• Why is Casey tripping and falling so much? Her equilibrium seems very off. Does she have an inner-ear imbalance or something?
• If Sheila's so interested in having sex, maybe she shouldn't date 19-year-old Christian boys who have taken purity pledges.
• Calvin: "Sheila, stop! Dale is my boyfriend!"
• Aww, Frannie threw herself under the bus a little bit to save Ash. That was a flash of niceness. Kind of. Maybe.
• Soooo, about Jordan, does anyone else miss Jen K.? Just kidding, that was mean. Jordan's not that bad.
• Ash: "You used to be this focused, driven person. When did you become this girl? Someone who sits around making lists and second-guessing your choices. Paging Dr. Grey! No, wait, you are more like Joey Potter. No, you're worse. You're the F word."

  Casey: "Don't say it!"

  Ash: "Felicity."

  Casey: "You bitch."
• Actually, Casey's kind of like Kate from Lost. Kate's the ultimate bouncer between love interests.
• Casey's eye makeup is kind of goth for making lists.
• Um, shouldn't Casey break up with Max before shoving Cappie into a closet and having her way with him? This is not very classy behavior.
• Cappie: "You'll remember that I'm a childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable, unambitious frat guy who let you down before, and that's why we didn't work."
• Well, good luck at Cal Tech, Max. Hopefully the girls there have some more class.
• Cappie: "To a new world, gentlemen! Good riddance to the things we hated and may we not miss the things we loved!"
• I take that back, Jordan is that annoying. I hereby reinstate the Jen K. comment.
• Dale: "But it's not the end of the world! Don't you read the scriptures I leave on your pillow? There's going to be signs!"
• Casey having too much alone time is kind of what got us into this mess in the first place.
• Grant: "I wanted to let you know that your boyfriend's cheating on you. With a woman."
• Wade (after catching Calvin's purity pledge ring): "My precious!"
• Aww, poor Max. Casey is not worth this.
• Casey opening the door and saying "Oh, what are you doing here?" while we can't see who she's talking to is another send up to Veronica Mars (the season one finale). It was pretty funny that it ended up being Frannie.
• This is not the end of the semester, right? Rusty said he still has time to fix his grade, but Frannie's saying goodbye to Casey now? Even if Frannie shuts down the sorority, if she still has to finish her classes, she's probably going to see Casey on campus sometime.
• Fisher! They're cramming everyone into this episode.

So, I'm thinking that Casey and Cappie are going to get together and be relatively happy for, oh, about 10 minutes, and then she will start to remember that he's childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable and unambitious. And then, hey, hasn't Evan been looking kind of good lately and acting kind of sweet? And, boom, we're off and running on Cappie/Casey/Evan triangle version 3.0. (Or is it 4.0 by now?) We only saw the original Casey-is-with-Cappie-but-starts-to-like-Evan saga play out in that one flashback episode though, so we could probably sit through it again, but it would be kind of nice if Greek surprises me and comes up with something new. And, by the way, Evan dating Rebecca does NOT count as "something new."

We won't have to wait long to see what Cappie's going to do next--new episodes of Greek return in August! What I'm most excited to see, however, is Kadeem Hardison a.k.a. Dwayne Wayne from A Different World guest starring as Ashleigh's dad. I seriously loved A Different World when I was little, so I'm all kinds of excited about this casting.

(photo: ABC Family via Jbabzy)

Breaking Bad: Horrific Prefection

Breaking Bad:
"ABQ"

OMFG, Breaking Bad's season 2 finale was phenomenal. The second-to-last episode ended with Walt's horrifying decision to not help Jane as she choked to death in her sleep, and the season finale kept the WTF moments coming. The shockers were relentless: from Gus touring the police station to Skyler catching Walt in his lies and kicking him out to the terrifying revelation that the now infamous pink teddy bear fell from the sky after an airplane collision that was caused (albeit inadvertently) by Walt's actions.

Breaking Bad has always lived in the world of moral grayness and ambiguity. With this finale, however, the show moved further into the dark end of the morality spectrum than it ever has before. The show has extensively explored the dangerous nature of drug dealing for the novice dealers, but in our eagerness to see Walt and Jesse succeed and make boatloads of money, we sometimes lose sight of how destructive the drugs they are selling can be. Example A: Jane, who all in all seemed like a sweet girl and was dearly loved by her father and Jesse (and had a tremendously awesome mural on her bedroom wall), dies from choking on her own vomit after a drug binge. Her death leaves Jesse, one of our heroes (or anti-heroes), completely devastated and also leads to Example B: Jane's grief-stricken father, an air traffic controller, is driven to such distraction that he fails to prevent a collision between two airplanes above Albuquerque.

Wow, that plane crash. The source of the teddy bear, the glasses, the wallet and the other debris littering Walt's back and front yards. And the cause of probably upwards of a hundred deaths of innocent people (including the child owner of the pink bear). How can we justify what Walt has done in the face of all this destruction? What started out as a dying man willing to do anything to provide for his family has resulted in a series of progressively horrible events. Walt is already racked with guilt--imagine how he will feel when he finds out about what caused the plane crash. Even aside from all of the collateral damage, has any of this worked out for Walt at all? He beat cancer (for now anyway), but he lost his family anyway.

It's all so bleak. The one heartening moment in the finale came when Walt hunted Jesse down and went into the crack den (is that what that freaky place was?) to save him. Jesse's raw grief was devastating, and it was nice to see Walt vow to help him. If nothing else good has come from any of this, at least these two men have formed an indelible bond.

The up-shot of it all: Breaking Bad should win the Emmy for Best Drama Series. I've watched Mad Men, Lost, Damages, and a myriad of other shows, and nothing has been as consistently stellar this season as Breaking Bad. Additionally, Bryan Cranston has made an extremely strong case for repeating his Best Actor win, and if Aaron Paul's brilliant work is not recognized with at least a Best Supporting Actor nomination, I may cry.

I, for one, am fascinated to see what season 3 will bring. Will a post-rehab Jesse still want to be involved in the drug trade after drugs led to the death of his girlfriend? Will Skyler find out the truth and how will she react? How will Walt come to terms with the fact that his quest for financial security has led to the deaths of so many people? Is there any redemption at all to be had here, or must we now just embrace the dark side?

(photo: amctv.com)

Greek: The KTs Get Bust-ed

Greek: "Guilty Treasures"

The highlight of this episode of Greek was that it featured some quality Kappa Tau hijinks. I loved how individual KTs would pop into random scenes featuring other characters to return some of the stolen items they found in their basement. It was nice to see a little more of Wade and Heath for a change too. And Beav was exceptional as always.

And props to Greek for fitting Dale, Calvin, Max, Evan, Beaver, Heath, Wade, Fisher, etc. all into this episode! When your supporting cast is this much fun, you should utilize it.

Quotations and my thoughts:

• Oh, thank goodness, Dale is in this episode.
• Rusty: "She had the swordfish, which is known to contain high levels of mercury, but..."
• Beav: "Rusty, can you make oxygen?"
• Cappie: "We didn't do this. Our KT alumni did. See, once upon a time, this fraternity was full of kleptos."
  Heath (to Beav): "That's people who steal things."
  Beav: "I know! ...What's an alumni?"
• Cappie: "While I think we all enjoy this verbal game of wits, I think we're ignoring one important fact here: I saw swords down there!"
• Fisher!
• Ash, you're going to lose your cute new boy if you insist on hiding the relationship.
• Jordan's relationship with Andy is the most important thing here? Really?
• Cappie (when Evan walks in): "Hey, it's the Abercrombie lady. You know what, we're all set on twill shorts, but thanks."
  Evan: "We want our bust. Come on, give it up."
  Cappie: "Our bust... Too easy. Pass!"
• Cappie: "You know, too bad I didn't hit him with a paddle. That's what we do to each other's pledges, right?"
• Max: "Do you know how many times I've tried to make a real woman out of a doll?"
• How many times have Max and Casey gone to the dinosaur museum? Lol.
• Calvin and Ashleigh! Together! Who knew they still hang out?
• Why wouldn't Dr. Broom be a fan of Max? How could you not be?
• Heath returning the golden chicken (?) to the restaurant and then filling some water glasses for the heck of it was great. Heath was being so funny, I couldn't even pay attention to Max and Casey's conversation.
• Jordan: "Open up, Rus! It's Uncle Jordan."
• Casey: "Wow, way to go, Sienna Miller."
• Ahh! Dale has lipstick all over his face! This Sheila thing is getting serious.
• Ashleigh made Fisher take her to Gentlemen's Choice (on lesbian night) for their first date? Oh, Ash...
• Fisher: "When I first met you, you know, I kind of imagined us doing the whole going-out thing."

  Ashleigh: "I imagined you naked."
• Casey: "My superpower is reading women and their wardrobes and knowing everything about them which tells me exactly how to get what I want."

  Max: "That's kind of like Emma Frost."

  Casey: "...Totally."
• Has Casey always been an English major? Or is that a post-Evan/post-pre law thing?
• Whoa, those security guards got on the scene fast!
• Casey: "Miss Jay can't even get that, and the lipstick's named after him."
• Ash: "That's how I feel about Fisher."

  Calvin: "That's how I feel about Fisher too."
• Ash: "Aww, that girl has Fisher's haircut."
• How did Beaver get into Mr. Broom's exclusive party?! With a (pilfered) gramophone! Ha ha ha!
• Max told Mr. Broom to take two of the tainted chicken kabobs.
• Max has to leave for this research thing tomorrow?! That's a little fast.
• Well, it was classy of Evan to not turn in the KTs. It's about time he did something classy.
• Aww, poor Wade is stuck in the handcuffs.
• Good riddance, Andy-licious. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
• Rusty: "I kissed Jordan."

  Cappie: "Who? Michael Jordan? Jordan Knight? Jordan Catalano? Don't tell me you kissed Andy's Jordan!"

  Rusty: "I wish I kissed Michael Jordan."
• Lol, I had to Google Jordan Catalano to determine that Cappie was making a reference to My So-Called Life (that show was a little before my time). Nicely done, Cappie.
• Casey: "Watch out for soccer hooligans." (Actually, since he's going to Oxford, she should probably warn him to watch out for Daniel Faraday and Eloise Hawking, etc. Max does not need to get mixed up with those crazy people.)
• Uh oh, now we've got two sad Cartwrights again.
• So, we all know, of course, that Casey and Cappie (while not paying any attention to each other for the past several episodes) will suddenly begin to be drawn closer and closer and closer and then kiss--or almost kiss--right when Max returns in a month.

Gossip Girl: The Sting

Gossip Girl:

"The Wrath of Con"

Well, now we're talking. This episode was much better than last week's sub-par effort. Gossip Girl is at its best when some sort of group scheme is afoot, and tonight's scheme not only included Serena, Blair, Chuck and Nate but also Georgina, who I enjoy so much more this year than I did last year.

I don't think it's any coincidence that this episode was great and that there was no Vanessa in it. And, as a bonus, we got to see Eric for the first time in weeks! Well, we saw him for about 2 whole minutes anyway... We weren't given any more of an explanation as to where he was all this time, but if I had to live with Lily, Serena and Chuck, I'd probably need to flee on occasion too.

And for you trivia buffs out there, "The Wrath of Con" was also the name of Veronica Mars episode 1.04, in which Veronica has flashbacks to going to the Homecoming dance the year before with Lily, Logan and Duncan.

The episode:

• Chuck: "Well, his suits never did fit right."
• Poor Chuck is having a rough time riding in this cab. It's almost as bad as the thought of Blair on the subway.
• Geez, Nate, needy much? Blair's not allowed to do anything but sit around with you in the tiny apartment?
• Here's Rufus, or "Dupe of the Year" as Ashley has termed him, in fine form: acting creepy to random people on the street, singing in the subway, etc.
• Dan: "I'm pretty sure whatever that lady said was, 'Stoooooooooop!' in her own language."
• Serena: "You brought Nate?"
  Blair: "I'm just as flummoxed as you are. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it, but he's faster than he looks."
• Blair: "The only way her plans going to work is by an act of God." Cue Georgina. Ha ha!
• I loved everyone's reactions to Georgina's appearance, esp. those of Blair and Dan.
• Dan: "Ok, we need to get this crazy girl out of here!"
• Oh, Dan, just shut up for once in your freaking life! You don't have to go tell Lily everything.
• My sister's take on the situation: "It's sweet that Dan thinks he actually has a parent now (in Lily) instead of just whatever Rufus is..."
• Poppy's a fauxcialite!! Ha, that's a great word. (But is there an official spelling? Do we hyphenate it: faux-cialite?)
• Ugh, Blair's got a real Sophie's choice here: go with Nate and talk or stay with Georgie and talk.
• Yep, Gabriel, you should go. Good job, van der Woodsen, you do know how to pick 'em.
• WHOA! Eric looks completely different? Where was he? Makeover camp? His blond tips are all gone.
• I kind of buy earnest Georgie more than I bought evil Georgie. If this is an act, she's good.
• Blair: "If you look at it, Jesus drove you here."
  Georgie: "Actually, I think you pronounce it 'Hey-Zeus.'"
• Blair: "She's so evil, she makes the old Georgina look like the new Georgina."
• Poppy's got some nerve, showing up at the van der Woodsen's apartment!
• Lily: "Well, we can only hope that those people will be smarter than we were." (I'd say the odds are pretty good that they are.)
• Serena (to Dan): "I don't know, why don't you call my mom? You seem to like to talk to her these days."
• Jenny gives such sage marriage proposal advice for a 16-year-old.
• Ok, whiny Nate has stumbled onto a good point: if Chuck still wants Blair, it's time to man up and tell her.
• Hahahahahahaha! Jenny rattling off the whole plot of Twilight to stall Lily was hilarious! Little J can be so entertaining when she's not staging guerrilla fashion shows or dropping out of high school... (My sister wonders when Jenny found the time to read/watch Twilight, what with all her marathon all-night sewing sessions.)
• Dan! Shut up, shut up, shut up!
• Lily just left the financial papers in a drawer for Rufus to find?! Didn't she learn from the time she left her list of lovers in her purse and he found it? The dude goes through your stuff, Lily! You need to hide these things better!
• Georgie: "Are you a Carrie? I'm a Charlotte!"
• Blair: "Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are."

  Chuck: "I would never wish that on anyone."
• Holy intense conversation we're having here in the middle of an epic sting operation, Chuck and Blair!
• Serena: "Chuck, why did you just do that?"

  Chuck: "Because I love her. And I can't make her happy."
• Ohhh, Chuck :-(
• Georgie (brainstorming things the African kids can do with the wireless internet): "They can read Bible stories. Oh! They can download Kirk Cameron movies!"
• That Kirk Cameron joke would have killed if everyone had the work-related distaste for Fireproof that I have.
• I can't say there haven't been times that I would have welcomed seeing Serena carted away by the police, but this isn't really one of them...
• That Poppy Lifton is craftier than they give her credit for. Now she's made off with the camp's Bible money too!
• I totally knew that Lily called the cops on Serena. Wow, that's real nice. The only thing standing between Lily and the Mother of the Year award is Eloise Hawking. (Luckily for Serena and Eric, Lily's still got a ways to go to get into Eloise territory.)
• Rufus: "I have raised my kids just fine without your help!" (Really, Rufus? Really?)
• Rufus: "This coming from the same woman who wouldn't even let me put Jenny in the back of a squad car!" (This is a strange argument Rufus and Lily are suddenly having here. How many parents have such recent experience with having their own children incarcerated?)
• Blair: "I don't think that Jesus would approve of that..."
• What is Georgie going to do to Poppy? I'm actually kind of concerned for the fauxcialite.
• Chuck: "I need you to dig up what dirt you can on the 55th precinct."
• Wow, the inside of the 55th precinct is really dark! How do they take mugshots with such poor lighting?

(photo: cwtv.com)

Kings: Slaying the Giant

Kings: "Goliath"

Before I discuss the pilot episode of Kings, I must begin by saying that the kid who plays David (Chris Egan) reminds me so much of Rolf (Daniel Truhitte) from The Sound of Music that it's distracting. I keep expecting him to belt out, "I am seventeen going on eighteen; I'll take care of you!" and dance around a gazebo. I can't be the only one who sees this. Here they are side by side:

Now, as for Kings, I'm not totally sure how I feel about the show. I love The Tudors, so a new show featuring intrigue in the court of a royal monarchy seems promising (especially since it's a show that I don't need Showtime to watch). It's also very intriguing that Kings tells the story of a modern kingdom ruled by a monarch. It seems modern monarchies usually only show up in pop culture in ridiculous teen movie like The Princess Diaries or The Prince & Me. But from the looks of it, Kings' Kingdom of Gilboa is nothing like Princess Mia's Genovia.

I think my main complaint about Kings is that it's really dense. I spent most of the episode trying to figure out the history behind this whole King Silas business. After all, since this isn't The Tudors and this stuff didn't really (more or less) happen, you can't just Wikipedia the names of characters to help you understand what's going on. Plus, the show also uses a lot of (sometimes rather heavy-handed) religious allusions, so that adds even more for viewers to wade through.

Is the show worth all the effort? I'm not sure yet, but I think it might be. It's certainly interesting. King Silas sure seems to be quite the character, I'm thinking that you probably don't want to mess with the queen, Prince Jack is basically Chuck Bass with a few interesting twists, and I liked the chemistry between Daniel and Princess Michelle. I think that the show would be better if they dial back the politics a tad and up the soapiness quotient, but that might just be my personal preference.

Specific thoughts and highlights:

• The capital is called Shiloh? Are we supposed to search for context clues in the Neil Diamond song? Or is it a reference to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt?
• Rev. Samuels: "You are very polite, David."
  David: "It's just how I was raised."
  Rev. Samuels: "Do something about that before you grow up."
• Butterflies? Really?
• So the king was a soldier who was raised up into being a monarch? That's interesting.
• Dude, this David kid is seriously badass.
• David Shepherd? Seriously? Isn't that allusion a little heavy-handed? (Especially since Lost is already using that Shepherd one.)
• Whoa, the queen's assistant is displaying a lot of cleavage! This isn't The Tudors. I'm glad the queen had a problem with that too.
• So, is it a coincidence that the king's son acts like Chuck Bass and is played by Sebastian Stan (Carter from Gossip Girl), who is Leighton Meester's real-life boyfriend? Doubtful. I do have to say though that I thought Sebastian was really good in this episode. I guess GG wasn't utilizing his full range by just having him steal money from Nate and get beat up at cotillion.
• He's the freaking king of Gilboa--of course he has a tailor!
• Queen: "Why is it that pretty people are always so bad with details?"
• Not the butterfly story again. This is getting old. (Prince Jack agrees with me.)
• Rev. Samuels: "You're drinking a single malt that God himself only takes out of the cabinet once a year."
• Oh, look, David's a master pianist too! Is there anything this kid can't do?
• King Silas: "Ahh, half my kingdom it is."
• Eesh, so it turns out that King Silas rules with an iron fist. That guy got offed just for standing up too soon.
• Princess: "The human will can take ashes and turn it into ice cream."
• OMG! The prince is gay! I didn't see that coming. I fell for his womanizer act. Aww, poor kid.
• Oh geez--invading right after you sign a peace treaty? That's ballsy (and rather immoral).
• Who was this "whore" that the king loved and "gave up"? I wonder how long until she shows up... Ahh, all of 5 minutes. They sure telegraphed that reveal. And a secret kid too! Silas must be doing a lot of controlling of the press if no one's figured all this out yet.
• Oh, Silas means business when he starts using the royal "we" pronoun.
• Silas wants the Rev. Samuels to declare a fast? Seriously?
• Silas set up the whole kidnapped soldiers thing in the first place (thus almost getting his own son killed).
• Ok, David, hate to argue with you here since you're clearly so distressed, but you are brave. Nobody else went running into the enemy camp to try to rescue the hostages.
• Ok, so you can force a new peace on two countries by going out in the middle of the field and giving a long, flowery speech?
• Silas: "The king's brother-in-law came to congratulate him on the truce."
• Hey, I'll trade this war for another one, because maybe I'll actually understand what's going on in the new one.
• Ha--the queen purposely stages little shows for the press to make it looks like Jack screws all her secretaries.
• Well, of course Jack is going to be in on the plot to overthrow Silas. Any good coup needs somebody with a claim to the thrown.
• Um, David, you probably shouldn't go talk to the princess while you know her dad is watching.
• Oh no, here come the butterflies. This is getting a little silly.

(photos: David--nbc.com; Rolf--Robert Wise Productions for Twentieth Century-Fox Corp.)

Privileged: That's (Maybe) All She Wrote

Privileged:
"All About the Brand New You!"

So, is this the last episode of Privileged ever? Kinda seems like it (especially since The CW keeps announcing new pilots that they are developing). If this is the last we see of Megan, Rose, Sage, etc., the show didn't exactly wrap everything up all nice and pretty for us (namely by ending with a cliffhanger of Megan in bed with a random Brit). But, honestly, how much do I care? Not a whole lot. If Megan and Charlie aren't going to get together, I don't have a whole lot of invested interest in the outcome of this show.

So let's do some bullets and let the chips fall where they may:

• I hear Lily Allen!
• Eew, Kathy Griffin. Seriously?
• Marco: "Do doves remind you of Jesus?"
• Hey, wait: are Megan, Sage, and Rose actually going to study?!
• Sage: "Apparently Rose's quest to become independent has turned her into a middle aged divorcee."
• Megan: "You decided to kill us and leave our bodies in the woods?"
• Oh no, Rose is going on a wilderness expedition! Who does she think she is? John Locke?
• Megan doesn't know what spelunking is? And she graduated from Harvard?
• I hear more Lily Allen.
• Rose is going to eat antelope? Eew.
• Jo Jo: "I mean, fleece, Rose?"
• Little Franco's looking cute. It looks like he got a hair cut.
• Zach: "I could skip out on my Model UN trip, although, being Russia, I do get to wear the furry hat."
• Rose's wilderness kick reminds me of the time Summer Roberts went to Brown and became a hippy.
• Zach: "I just don't know if I'm ever going to be the kind of guy who can go number two in the woods."
• Sage: "I can't wait to come tomorrow."
  Marco: "And I can't wait to see what you wear!"
• Wow, for the first time ever, I'm agreeing with Will in an argument: I'm so over this too.
• You could have had Charlie, Megan. I bet you feel stupid now.
• I bet Marco's going to be disappointed with Sage's outfit. I know I am.
• Both Marco and Keith walked down the aisle together with Marco's grandma? Doesn't Keith have any family? What happened to that BFF girl of his?
• Did Marco get married on a school night?
• Since when is Sage so gung-ho on being open-minded and exploring new things? Has she ever mentioned anything like this ever before? Up until this point, all I remember her ever saying is that she likes being rich and that she'd do anything for her sister. It seems like she developed a completely new personality for this episode.
• Hey, this guy has an accent! I already like him better than Will.
• Rose: "I am balls to the balls terrified!"
• Do we really have to listen to Sage's report?
• Ha! Wow, they're really going to end the show with Megan in bed with the random British dude? That's ok; she didn't really want Will back anyway (or at least she shouldn't want him back).
• Oops. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, this is why you do not end a season of a struggling show with a cliffhanger.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Quick Round-Up: 02/04

Random (interesting) stuff from the world of television:

• I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thinks that Burn Notice's Fiona is 15 shades of awesome.
• I know this Yale stuff has gotten stressful, but unless B has had some sort of lobotomy, there's no excuse for this behavior: Gossip Girl SPOILER.
• Oh my poor sweet Kyle...
• I don't know why I even tried to watch last week's SNL (hosted by Steve Martin), but I instantly regretted it. I mean, seriously, more MacGruber? Why, God, why? When Laser Cats is far and away the pre-Weekend Update highlight, we've got a serious problem. But, ultimately, I was glad I toughed it out, because during Weekend Update new-ish cast member Abby Elliott unleashed a stellar Angelina Jolie impersonation. As in, she was so good that I spent a few moments wondering if maybe that was the real Angelina after all. And subsequently I've spent a lot of moments wondering why SNL has kept this gem under their hats for so long. They had to have known that this impression was great--I would have used it in the first skit of the night. Or every skit until someone else could come up with something funnier than Laser Cats or whatever annoying character Kristen Wiig is playing.
• I guess sometimes good does prevail over evil? Case in point: Greek SPOILER.
• I don't know who this singer is, and the song is no "Womanizer" (ha!), but the video features Ryan Hansen as a back-up dancer clad in '80s fitness attire. And that is all you really need to know.
• Lie To Me: My love for David Anders (my sweet Sark) has been well documented (by me). And I'm devoted: I stuck it out with Heroes (which was no easy task) until they decomposed/disintegrated him in front of my very eyes. But I just could not take last week's episode of Lie To Me in which DA guest starred. That show is insufferable with a capital "suffer." Granted, I was only trying to watch it during Lost's commercial breaks, but I couldn't even do that! The whole show is: the main investigators ask someone a question, the person answers, the main investigators proceed to verbally analyze every movement the person made while answering, repeat, repeat, repeat. There's only so much that you can take of: "You thrust your chin, which signifies defiance. Then you touched your neck, which signifies lying. Then you looked to the right, which signifies evasiveness. Then you patted your stomach, which signifies that you're hungry. Then you gave us the stink eye, which signifies that you think we're annoying. Etc." If anyone talked to you like that in real life, you'd seriously punch them in the face.
• And I know I'm about a year behind on this (what's a girl without Showtime to do?), but the second series of The Tudors is rocking my world. There's a lot of good television airing right now, but The Tudors is all I want to watch. Oy, how I love Jonathan Rhys Myers! And Natalie Dormer's Anne Boleyn is all kinds of fantastic. I'm considerably distressed by the inevitability of poor Anne getting her head cut off; I want her to stick around forever.
  

  

(photos: usanetwork.com and Showtime)

Gossip Girl: Going Bass-Ackwards

Gossip Girl:
"In the Realm of the Basses"

When last we saw our beloved Upper East Siders, Bart was dead, Chuck was spiraling out of control, Blair told Chuck she loved him but could not stop the young Bass from continuing his downward spiral, Serena went to Argentina with greasy Aaron for her mom's benefit (?), Nate was useless, and Rufus and Lily had a love child (to which I said, "phooey on the love child!").

So now we've made it through the holiday season, and Gossip Girl has mercifully returned! Chuck is still a wreck, Serena and Dan are still trying to figure out just what in the heck is wrong with their parents, Blair is still trying (mostly futilely) to get Chuck to rally, Nate disappeared, Vanessa is (thankfully) still with her parents, and Jenny celebrates her return to Constance by waging an immediate battle with the Stairs Girls.

Highlights and thoughts:

• Why is Serena tangoing with that old guy?
• Yes, Jenny, go learn something!
• Where in the world is Chuck Bass? This looks like that really bad episode of Lost with the flashback of Jack in Thailand!
• Nelly Yuki!!!
• Wow, all the popular girls are wearing winter white coats!
• Chuck is not in good shape.
• I kind of wish we'd gotten to see Serena break up with Aaron. We were cheated out of that small satisfaction.
• Ugh, if Serena and Dan are already kissing, I guess it's going to be tough going for Chuck and Blair. Because surely everyone can't be happy all at once.
• Serena: "Did Jack find Chuck?"
  Blair: "Yeah, what's left of him. I'm surprised he made it through customs. His body odor could have given half of Manhattan a contact high."
• Blair: "I'm really happy for you. I'm going to go vomit now."
• Rufus: "Being a father's who I am." Really? Really?! Then why are you such a bad one?
• Nelly Yuki has hit hard times.
• Chuck: "Well, hello to you too, lover."
• Wow, suddenly Rufus is laying down the parental law (telling Dan that he and Serena shouldn't be in the loft unsupervised) and everyone is justifiably stunned!
• Jack: "You don't remember our rickshaw ride...the 15-hour flight?"
  Chuck: "That was you?"
• Ok, I know Chuck's seriously messed up and heading for a lot of trouble, but nevertheless he's totally cracking me up.
• This Desmond Harrington fellow who is playing Jack Bass does bear a certain resemblance to Bart.
• I like Blair's tights.
• Iz: "You're getting into the Colony Club? They never take anyone from high school!"
  Blair: "I know, I was so surprised. No, that's not entirely true."
• Why is Eric letting himself get dragged into the Jenny vs. the Mean Girls war?
• Chuck: "Now is that it, or are you going to tell me you love me again?" Ouch.
• Aww, poor Blair. She's cracking. And now she's fine. Nice recovery. Those Waldorfs sure are resilient.
• He he, Penelope is sleeping with her dad's junior partner.
• Ha! What in the hell is Blair wearing? I mean, it's awesome, but it's hilarious. At least the hat is.
• Wow, Serena, be a little more judgemental, why don't you? Blair has tried very hard to help Chuck; she doesn't really enjoy the guilt trip. Especially since no one else (esp. Lily, Serena, and Eric) seem to be making much of an effort.
  
• Dan: "He was in Boston visiting orphanages."
  Chuck: "How Dickensian."
• Yeah, sharing a sibling is a bit much; Chuck's right.
• Blair: "Public service: I frequently feed the ducks in Central Park."
• LOL about the society ladies saying that Serena dresses like a skank. I'm glad somebody noticed.
• Hazel got drunk and hooked up with her cousin! Twice!
• Uh oh, Ed Westwick finally gets an opportunity to sing!
• Blair: "No! You don't surprise someone standing at the edge of a building!"
• Blair: "So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don't do that to me."
• No, Dan, just tell Serena about the secret kid anyway. Screw what Rufus and Lily want.
• Why doesn't Chuck stay with Blair? She's the only one who can ever succeed at corralling him.
• Blair: "He can't know what happened on New Years." Oh no.

Well, I for one don't even want to know what happened between Blair and Uncle Jack at New Years. In the immortal words of Summer Roberts: eew, eew, eew! And I don't want Chuck to ever find out either, although based on next week's promo it looks like he's going to find out imminently. Nooooo.

Headband Monday was reinstated in honor of the new episode of GG. I wore my black one.

(photos: cwtv.com)
Speaking of the photos, when did Chuck talk to Dan and Serena at the party (as pictured in the top photo)? That totally didn't happen, did it?

Premiere Watch '08: Fringe

Fringe: Pilot


J.J. Abrams*, I'm ready for a new Alias. Lay it on me!

And, wow, Fringe presented the kind of pilot that only J.J. can deliver. Brilliant. A truly skillful combination of drama, action, mythology, humor, and evocative cinematography.

The foundation of the show is very Alias: a female agent in a powerful government agency unwittingly unlocks and gets sucked into a secret world a la Alice falling down the rabbit hole. What sets Fringe apart is the initial introduction of the "fringe science" concept, which opens a whole new and humongous can of worms: flesh melting chemicals, telepathic communications, earthquakes on cue, children who don't age, etc. A cornucopia of strange occurrences that are out of the reach of conventional scientific thought. Also known as a world that J.J. Abrams should have a lot of fun playing around in this season.

Alias and Lost certainly delved into the fringe (prophecies, moving islands, time jumping, etc.), but those shows introduced the stranger elements more gradually. Fringe unabashedly presented its sci fi elements right from the get go, which I appreciate. It's just that four years from now, if I'm going to be debating how islands move when you spin a wheel, how a constant works, if polars bears can travel through portals, how injecting the Passenger with green goo causes her to write secret info, why Irina's name is on the Rambaldi artifact, how Sydney fulfilled Rambaldi's prophecy, etc., etc., etc., then I'd like to know that now.

J.J. has promised that this show won't get bogged down in long-term mythologies, but with evil corporations and secret government groups and mind-bending realities, the traps have been set. We'll have to wait and see how it all goes down. Personally, I look forward to finding out.

Other thoughts:

• The opening scene was very reminiscent of Lost. I wonder if there were as many convicts and con artists on that flight as there were on Oceanic 815.
• Eew, at least no one barfed up goo on Oceanic 815. Eeeeeeeeew, or melted! Yuckkkkk.
• The opening credits montage is cool. The music is kind of A Beautiful Mind-esque.
• As soon as John told Olivia he loved her, I knew he was going to end up dead. This isn't the first J.J. Abrams pilot I've ever seen...
• Wow, the 3-D graphic that floats in the middle of the shot with the name of the location is super cool! An innovative update on Alias' black screen with flashing white letters.
• Whoa, the plane can land itself on autopilot. That's cool.
• Abaddon! He seems angrier on this show than on Lost. Less creepy though.
• The background music is very Lost--I kept expecting to see someone opening a hatch or something.
• After Olivia told John that she loved him, it was cemented that he was going to get killed, and two minutes later, he blows up. Yep. J.J., I know your tricks... Oh no, wait, he's just been exposed to some horrific chemicals and put into a drug-induced coma. Eeeesh. It's beginning to look like Sydney's Danny got off easy...
• Sorry, I'm not sure I'm going to buy Pacey as a guy with an IQ 50 points north of genius...
• Why do people keep calling this poor lady "honey" and "sweetheart"? It's offensive.
• Dr. Bishop: "I thought you'd be fatter."
  Peter/Pacey: "You thought I would be fatter? Excellent first words. Perfect."
• So the U.S. government and John's family don't mind that some institutionalized guy came in and took a slice out of him?
• In the face of this kind of horrific terrorism, why isn't everyone in the government running around like Olivia, panicked and following weird leads? Everyone else seemed awfully calm considering the 200 dead people on the plane.
• So why did Pacey go a bit crazy a couple of years ago?
• Peter/Pacey: "Right, because after 6 hours, that's when they're really dead."
• If I had a dollar for every time a female character on a J.J. Abrams show was put in a big tank of liquid with electrodes stuck on her head...
• Pacey: "Yeah, because bootlegging smack in the basement is just the picture of normalcy."
• How does she ask specific questions when her brain is hooked up to her boyfriend's brain if her consciousness is being ripped open by the drugs? I feel like she should have been given more instructions.
• I hope they don't need to get a conviction in a court of law for this chemical guy. "I saw him in a drug-induced state while my consciousness was connected to my solidified boyfriend's" is not going to hold up in court.
• Security's a little lax in the FBI apparently... Peter/Pacey can just wander into the room where the guy accused with killing 200 people is sitting? And beat him up?
• Ha ha, Peter/Pacey threatening the chemical guy was awesome. "No, you can't do this."
• Yea, a blood transfusion! Those are always fun! (See Sark in Alias' 1x21).
• Oh no!!! Olivia saved her boyfriend only to find out that he was a bad guy working with the chemical guy! I didn't see this one coming... Nicely played, J.J. I was seeing his character as a purely Danny Hecht figure, but he's actually kind of a mix between Danny and the Iceman. Very interesting.
• Nice chase scene.
• John's last words: "Ask yourself why Broyles sent you to the storage facility"? Dude, when you're dying, just spit out the important stuff--don't ask critical thinking questions; there's no time! (Honestly, I was a little confused as to why she was sent to the storage facility too, but I thought that was because I wasn't paying enough attention.)
• Well, I did end up being kind of right about John, because he's dead now...
• After John died, I totally expected as scene where Olivia storms into Broyles' office and demands to join his unit in the vein of red-haired Sydney barging into Sloane's office with the circumference, but it never happened. Instead she went to talk to Peter/Pacey to get him on board. Not that I blame her for going to see him; he is easy on the eyes, and she'd had a rough day.
• The show is certainly going to set up a will they/won't they situation with Olivia and Peter. I think it will be interesting to see how well that works. On Alias, it worked very well with Sydney and Vaughn (until the ill-advised post-Super Bowl episode ruined it) because they were agent and handler and thus unequivocally not allowed to get involved with each other. Olivia and Peter would seem to have fewer obstacles: he's not officially in the FBI, so there are no anti-fraternization rules.
• Oh no, another evil corporation, Massive Dynamic. How Darma Initiative/Hanso Foundation.
• "How long has he been dead?" "Five hours." "Question him." Awesome.

On a scale where Alias' flawless, world-rocking pilot episode scores a 10, I think Fringe falls only a little bit behind. In fact, it probably have scored higher if I'd never seen the Alias pilot and this was my first sojourn into the J.J. world, which seems so fresh and exciting the first time you jump in.

Premiere Rating: 9.0/10

*When I refer to J.J. Abrams, I mean him and the entire team of talented people who work with him.

(photos: fox.com/fringe)