Casting an American Shameless

I love Shameless. Or, rather, I love the first two series of Shameless up until the moment that Fiona and Steve climb in the car and skip town. I thought the third series was okay. And after that I don't really know how I feel about it because I didn't have anyone to illegally clandestinely download the other series for me. I have heard, though, that the show got pretty ridiculous (and not good ridiculous like it was in series 1 and 2). Overall though, I love the show: it's shocking, it's hilarious, and it's surprisingly sweet. Just thinking about it brings back fond memories of it scandalizing me when I was just a young college student studying abroad...

With my warm feelings toward the show in mind, here's a stream-of-consciousness recreation of my reaction when I checked my Twitter feed and saw the news pop up that Showtime has picked up to series the pilot of an American version of Shameless:

Shameless!!! YEAAAA! Are they're doing an American Shameless? They are! Yea! Wait, who's in it? William H. Macy?! What?! As Frank!? William H. Macy as Frank! Are you kidding me? Emmy Rossum is no Anne-Marie Duff. Allison Janney?! Oh noooooo. No, no, no.....

I realize I'm judging without having seen the actual product, and that we should refrain from doing that, but I can't help it. I don't like this cast. Partially because it just seems incorrect and smacks of respectable actors (Macy and Janney) trying to loosen up their images by taking on "fun," "shocking" roles. And partially because I have given a lot of thought to an American version of Shameless over the years, and I'm positive that my cast is better:

(Bear in mind that I picked this cast about three years ago (circa early 2007), so the ages of some of my actors now skew a little too old.)

Fiona: Amanda Seyfried
Steve: Ben McKenzie
Frank: John Corbett
Sheila: Merrin Dungey
Monica: Molly Ringwald (She'd be so much more awesome in this than in Secret Life.)
Lip: Ricky Ullman
Ian: Michael Cera (This role would force him to show a bit more range than usual.)
Debbie: Abigail Breslin
Liam: The kids who played Jamie on Malcolm in the Middle
Veronica: Busy Philipps
Kev: Enrique Murciano (Not sure about this one; Enrique might be too pretty for Shameless.)
Tony: Michael McMillian
Karen: Dana Davis
Craig: Adam Brody (It's stunt casting, but it's hilarious.)
Norma: Queen Latifah

And there you have it. Casting perfection.

I have some other ideas for the American version. Instead of going with an inter-city setting, I'd stage the American version in a trailer park in the South, creating a white trash version of the Gallaghers. Keeping with that theme, I'd change some of the Gallaghers' names to hearken back to the "glory days" of the Old South, as a display of the parents' ridiculous illusions of grandeur. Fiona becomes Scarlett, the boys get the names of Civil War leaders, etc.

My cast has some fairly big names in it, and I have a strategy for how to get them to sign onto a television project. Working off the assertion that the British version was great in the first two series and then fizzled out, I would set a finite number of episodes from the beginning, creating one massive season of about 24-27 episodes, broken into three parts. (A season that long is doable, as The O.C. did 27 episodes in its first year.) That way, the talent can sign onto the project knowing that they will devote only one year to it and won't get sucked into working on the same project for four or five years. New characters won't have to continuously be created to fill in the void left by departing actors. And the plot of the entire series can be mapped out from the beginning, creating a cohesive creative product.

(Would a network go for this model? I don't know. It would certainly cut down on the number of DVDs available to sell. It might make up for that though due to the popularity a well-know cast would likely garner.)

So, yes, I had big plans for an American Shameless. But what was I to do? Start a production company with capital I don't have and try to buy the rights to Shameless? Alas, it was not to be. I guess I can always console myself by watching vintage episodes of the original British version.

(photo: www.channel4.com/programmes/shameless)

10 Things I Hate About You: Not Much To Like

10 Things I Hate About You:

"Pilot"

Full disclosure: I'm a pretty big fan of the film version of 10 Things I Hate About You. In fact, aside from Clueless, it's probably at the top of my list of favorite teen movies. It holds a special place in my heart because it came out in 1999, when I was, in fact, a teenager (and not a 20-something who still watches an inordinate amount of teen shows). Therefore, ABC Family's television remake of 10 Things could probably only really go one of two ways with me: I'd love it for reprising characters and story lines I adored or I'd detest it immensely for dragging something I love through the mud. After watching the pilot episode, it looks like you're heading for a sizable payday if you put your money on the "detest" option.

I'm tempted to turn my review into a list under the heading "10 Things I Hate About This Show," but I think I can boil the objects of my distaste down to a few key attributes. (I do, however, reserve the right to pull out a 10-part list if I deem it necessary after watching future episodes.)

First of all, the characters in the show failed dismally in living up to the appeal of the originals. If you think about it, for a teen movie, a lot of the actors in 10 Things turned out to be pretty legit: Heath Ledger (obviously), Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and David Krumholtz all have created fairly solid bodies of work. Additionally, Gabrielle Union and Andrew Keegan were proven mainstays of the teen movie/show genre. Larisa Oleynik (Bianca) has flown fairly under the radar (at least my radar) since 10 Things, but she was pitch-perfect in the film. So, it's not like the young actors in the 10 Things television show don't have some reasonably big shoes to fill.

The problem is that they're not even coming close. I'm not going to even discuss the merits of Ethan Peck vs. Heath Ledger as Patrick, because there's probably no one who could fill those shoes. (But is Ethan even giving it that great of a try? No, not really.) Kat is rather unlikeable (and not like Julia Stiles' Kat was unlikeable because she was supposed to be gruff--this one's just annoying and seems inconsistent). The kid who plays Cameron seems to be trying to channel Michael Cera so hard that it's probably actually hurting. Bianca's okay, but not quite there yet. And this Joey is NO Andrew Keegan (lol). Even the dad in the TV show fails to live up to the charm of the dad in the movie, and he's played by the same actor!

These across-the-board shortcomings lead me to the conclusion that most of the problems with the characters in the show lie with the writing as opposed to the acting. So far, everyone seems like a caricature or a stereotype and not so much like an actual person-esque entity. No one has real soul yet. No one has real dimension.

The one character/actor I did like was Dana Davis (of The Nine, Heroes, and a far superior turn on Pushing Daisies) as Chastity. Sure, she is playing a stereotype too, but she did a good job with it.

Additionally, I'm not sure why this show is a half-hour comedy instead of a one-hour, soap-style drama like Greek. Perhaps the characters would have gelled better if they'd had a little more time. It felt like we were tearing through the episode a break-neck speed and sacrificing subtle nuances like plot and character development. (After all, we did see the first day of school, cheerleading tryouts, the first party, and another school day, which seems like a lot when an entire episode could reasonably be based solely on one school day or one party.)

Highlights + a few other things I hated:

• The background music at the beginning of the episode was a little too decidedly perky and cutesy.
• Michael: "Even the biggest dorks can be cool if they play their cards right. Look at Shia LaBeouf." (Is Shia really the best example of that phenomenon? I'm not sure I ever thought that Shia was that dorky. Goofy, maybe.)
• Cameron is really tall. He doesn't seem as sweet at the movie version either. Just pathetic.
• Kat alternates between being extremely rude and extremely idealistic and humanitarian. It's bizarre.
• One other thing I like better about the movie: it's pivotal scenes don't involve a staring contest.
• Chastity: "Of the 10 things I hated about today..." (Is that how we're tying the title into the show? It's kind of clumsy. I realize that they can't have Kat reading the "I hate the way you..." poem in the first episode since that would wrap up the entire story, but I'd have been fine if the title had never being directly referenced.)
• This keg full of non-alcoholic beer thing is straight out of Freaks and Geeks.
• Why doesn't Kat just leave this poor (Patrick) guy alone? I really don't think he's even trying to mess with her. I think they just happen to be in the same room sometimes.
• At least we know that Patrick can talk--I wasn't sure for a while there.
• This Joey character is completely different. He's not sleazy--he's just "confused."
• Dad: "Are you talking to me or the democrats in your head?"
• Bianca: "Since I'm not going to be popular, I may as well join show choir. Closeted gay guys are fun."
• Ok, now Patrick might be messing with Kat.
• Bianca: "No more NPR. It's giving me menopause."
• Um, shouldn't somebody be paying somebody else to take out the surly sister? Wasn't that the whole point?

(I suspect that the show not really living up to the movie accounts for ABC Family not playing the movie over and over again in preparation for tonight's premiere. It's probably better for them if the superior source material isn't fresh in our minds.)

(photo: abcfamily.com)

The SAS Awards

Since new, watchable television continues to dry up, I'm going to turn my attention to the cinema (as Warren Cheswick would say) for a post. To help ease my depression about tonight's lack of an actual Golden Globes awards show, I'm going to bestow some film awards of my own.

It seems that there are about a billion different organizations that hand out film awards every year, so I thought I'd go ahead and throw my hat into the ring. With a little more publicity, perhaps my awards will expand and in a few years maybe the nominees will be showing up at my door in fancy outfits. (By then I suppose I will have to actually make some sort of physical award to give them, but we can worry about that later.)

So, here's my list of the first annual Stuff Ann's Seen Awards a.k.a. the SAS Awards a.k.a. the Sassies! To be nominated or to win, the work must be in a movie released in 2007 that I actually saw...so obviously that limits the competition significantly. The list may have to be eventually revised if/when I catch up on some of the films I wanted to see but didn't.

Best Film Nominees:

• Atonement
• August Rush
• In the Land of Women
• Knocked Up
• Juno
• Spider-Man 3
• Waitress

Analysis: In retrospect, I think my favorite parts of Knocked Up were the fake outtakes with James Franco and Michael Cera that were posted on the internet. I liked In the Land of Women, but more because of my love of Adam Brody/Seth Cohen than for any particularly great aspect of the film itself. I also enjoyed Spider-Man 3, but acknowledge that it isn't exactly the best film of the year. August Rush and Waitress were both well-done, likable and moving (Waitress's main flaw was expecting me to hate Jeremy Sisto, which takes an awful lot of effort on my part). But this is a two-film battle between Juno and Atonement. Atonement was classy, creepy and beautiful and seamlessly produced feelings of great paranoia and disparagement. The film was certainly a masterpiece of using performance, music, cinematography, etc. to instill a single, unifying mood. But, I'm going to give the win to Juno. Although I didn't like it as much as last year's powerhouse small indie comedy Little Miss Sunshine, Juno was still funny, smart and surprisingly touching without being sappy or over-the-top. And, come on, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner and Michael Cera in the same movie. Enough said.

Best Actor Nominees:

• Adam Brody, In the Land of Women
• Jon Heder, Blades of Glory
• Freddie Highmore, August Rush
• Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man 3
• James McAvoy, Atonement

Analysis: I doubt I'll ever tire of the Adam Brody/Seth Cohen shtick, Tobey got to display a new range in the Spider-Man trilogy as a less-likable Peter, Jon Heder did a solid Johnny Weir impression (!), and Freddie gave a powerful, believable performance as a music prodigy. But, coming as a surprise to basically no one who knows me and my film tastes, the Sassy goes to James McAvoy for his work in Atonement. And fantastically good work it was, as he proved (yet again) that while he could rely solely on his hotness and very blue eyes, he doesn't have to. His work in the war scenes was harrowing and he was downright scary (good) in the reunion scene with older Briony.

Best Actress Nominees:

• Katherine Heigl, Knocked Up
• Keira Knightley, Atonement
• Ellen Page, Juno
• Keri Russell, Waitress

Analysis: First of all, props to Keira for being the only actress in the category to NOT play a character dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. Also props to Keira for her turn as Atonement's Cecilia, my favorite performance of hers ever. Heigl held up well amongst the bawdiness of Knocked Up, but the race here is between Ellen and Keri. Ellen was great as Juno--truly carrying the film with her combination of searing wit and vulnerability. But the Sassy goes to Keri (often overlooked by other awards) for her engrossing turn as the bitter, desperate and sarcastic pregnant pie-maker. Her hilarious "Dear Damn Baby..." voice-over cemented her win.

Best Supporting Actor Nominees:

• Michael Cera, Juno
• James Franco, Spider-Man 3
• Andy Griffith, Waitress
• Justin Long, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
• Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, August Rush

Analysis: There are quite a few of my favorites smushed together in this one category. Justin provided my favorite part of Walk Hard with his spot-on George Harrison impersonation, Michael Cera was awkwardly irresistible as always in Juno, Andy Griffith was funny and touching as the sage pie store owner, and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers was desperately hot and quite a good singer in August Rush. The Sassy goes to James Franco for (presumably) Harry's last hurrah. I mean, there was a scene where he made and omelet and did the twist--come on, no one else had a chance.

Best Supporting Actress Nominees:

• Jennifer Garner, Juno
• Saoirse Ronan, Atonement
• Jenna Fisher, Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
• Michelle Pfeiffer, Hairspray

Analysis: Jenna Fisher did a good job with her very anti-Pam Beesly over-the-top character and Pfeiffer's evil blonde was about the only thing I liked about Hairspray (I guess it was a problem that I usually agreed with her nasty assessments of the other characters). The real race here is between Jen Gar and Saoirse. Saoirse was a revelation in Atonement, playing the creepy little girl so well that she came dangerously close to stealing the show from James McAvoy (no easy task) and Keira Knightley. Saoirse's performance was all the more brilliant because I really couldn't tell if she was just confused or actually pure evil. The Sassy, however, goes to Jennifer. Obviously already a favorite of mine, Jen freaking broke my heart with her work in Juno--making her character somewhat unlikeable in the beginning only to turn her into the person I most wanted to be happy at the end.

Best Musical Performance:

• Michael Cera and Ellen Page, "Anyone Else But You," Juno
• Hugh Grant, "Pop Goes My Heart," Music and Lyrics
• Glenn Hansard and Marketa Irglova, "Falling Slowly," Once
• John C. Reilly, "Royal Jelly," Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
• Jonathan Rhys Meyers, August Rush

Analysis: Yep, I saw Hairspray and didn't nominate it in the Best Musical Performance category. There's a reason for that. Jonathan Rhys Meyers (with the help of Mick from Moonlight!) performed well as an Irish rock singer and Michael and Ellen's version of "Anyone Else But You" is adorable. The hilarious Bob Dylan spoof song was my favorite musical number in Walk Hard and it is awesome that even after achieving a large amount of success in the movie business, Hugh Grant is still willing to make such a fool of himself. But the category's winner (perhaps on a technicality) is "Falling Slowly" from Once, which I have not seen, but I think the song is pretty great.

100th Post! (And Happy Birthday!)

Happy 100th post to me. In honor of my own birthday a few weeks ago, I was planning to do a post on good birthday-themed TV episodes, but I never got around to it. However, I think it kind of applies to the blog's 100th post anniversary in that it's some sort of milestone, so I'll give it a whirl now. Plus, December birthdays always get overshadowed by the holiday season, so here's something a little special for all the people with December b-days. (And, yes, I realize that the chances of one of the 1.7 people who occasionally read this blog actually having a December birthday are not good, but oh well.)



Best Birthday TV Episodes:

• Rory turns 16, Gilmore Girls, season 1: Rory's b-day causes a stir among the Gilmore generations (what doesn't?) when she doesn't appreciate the snooty party Emily throws her. All is tenuously patched up though when Richard and Emily agree to attend Rory's Stars Hollow party...even thought Lorelai accidentally yells, "Get your ass in here!" at them.
• Michelle turns 3, Full House, season 3: It sure seemed like Michelle Tanner had a lot of birthdays (the sun sure seemed to shine on that child), especially since I can't remember Stephanie having any. Hmm. That's a topic for another time, I guess. Anyway, my favorite Michelle b-day was when she, Steph and Uncle Jesse accidentally get locked in a gas station on the day of her party. Things initially look dire, but Jesse and Steph dress like clowns, do a sock puppet routine and juggle, so everything turns out awesome.
• Caleb turns ??, The OC, season 1: Ok, I can't make a complication list without including something from The OC, but I sure wasn't going to include the season 3 ep where Ryan turns 18. Anything that seeped in (dead) Johnny, Sadie and Volchok will never find a place on any Best Of... list of mine. The season 1 ep where we meet Caleb for the first time, however, was great, even though it threw a big monkey wrench (in the form of Caleb's hot and very young girlfriend) into the blossoming Ryan/Marissa love affair. Episode highlights include some freaky foreshadowing about Sandy and Kirstin moving back to Berkeley, the obligatory witty banter, the first mention of the "I Wish I Was a Mermaid" poem and Seth and Summer's first kiss.
• Michael turns ??, The Office, season 2: Michael is never good at sharing the spotlight, especially on his birthday, so things go awry when Kevin has a skin cancer scare on Michael's big day. The episode features a trip to the skating rink, Dwight playing a Billy Joel song on a recorder (ugh), a Pam and Jim shopping trip and lots of funny quotes, including my favorite:

Michael: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And... I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I came out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.

• George Michael turns 16, Arrested Development, season 3: I can't remember how much of GM's b-day is even really in the "Mr. F" episode, but I'm including it on the list because of this hilarious exchange:

Michael: Besides I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...
George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it!

• Fiona turns 21, Shameless, series 1: In the midst of a tearful scene in which he and Fiona profess their devotion to each other, Steve nearly gets carted away to prison when Tony busts him on his car thieving. Steve thankfully manages to talk his way out of the situation (as he usually can), and surprises birthday-girl Fiona by buying the house next door (and promptly blowing it up for the insurance money). Other highlights: Frank fakes his death, Monica and Norma make an appearance (until the kids kick them out) and Sheila's pregnant.

Labor Day Round-Up: Greek and My Boys

Greek:
The ABC Family promo makers sure wanted us to think that a Cappie/Senator's Daughter hook-up was coming, but I think it's probably a good thing that didn't materialize. At least not yet. Their scenes together were cute though and I especially liked the background we got on Cappie. So, apparently, he is the result of somewhat irresponsible hippie parents. Things are beginning to make sense.

Best part by far of this episode though was the Rusty/Dale roommate war. Something about it just rang true to me and probably everyone else who has ever been involved in a passive-aggressive roommate battle. I loved it.

• Rusty's "Dale Tracker" was fantastic!
• I loved Dale's comment that his class on thermodynamics and heat transfer (or something like that) was a waste: "My little sister could teach that class!" He he.
• Rusty: "Dale canceled our cable after accidentally watching three minutes of the Dawson's Creek marathon."
• Passive aggressive roommate battles over milk. I've actually heard about one or two of those before :-)
• I would seriously not want to mess with Dale, but Rusty held his own. His bringing his most annoying friend (Beaver) over to hang out was especially well played.

Could I be beginning to love Clark Duke as much as I love Michael Cera? I love Michael an awful lot, so the bar is set rather high, but Clark grows in my estimation every week. And now that Ausiello is reporting that Clark is forming a band with Kristen Bell a.k.a. Veronica Mars? Well, it doesn't get much cooler than that.

My Boys:
I love anything with Michael Landes in it. He's adorable. My one problem is that his botanist character seems to enjoy using bug metaphors almost as much as P.J. likes using baseball metaphors. And if there is one thing this show does NOT need, it's more metaphors.

Wow, so next week P.J. has to pick her Italy date, and both Michael Landes and Jeremy Sisto are choices? That's fantastic. Sign me up for one of those "tough" decisions. Although, honestly, I'm still hoping she'll take Bobby. He's just so darn cute. (Oh, seriously, the best part of this episode was Bobby's suburb doppelganger! That was hilarious.)

A Very Solid Monday

Wow. A solid 3-hour chunk of original television on a Monday night in July? Crazy! But thoroughly enjoyable.

Kyle XY:
So now Kyle can telepathically communicate with coma victims. Who does he think he is? Marlena from Days of Our Lives? ("Come to me in dreams, John! In dreeeeeeeeams!") Oh well. Anything that causes Kyle to wake up covered in pastel powder is fine with me.

I assume that I wasn't the only one who saw that it was Jessi who knocked Lori out and stole her necklace coming from a mile away. Next week looks interesting, as it seems the reprogrammed Jessi likes Kyle instead of Declan. So, I guess, "reprogramming" just means giving her some common sense. (Sorry, Declan and his frosted tips, vapid personality, and somewhat strange-looking eyebrows do nothing for me.)

I suppose the big news from tonight's ep was that Kyle and Amanda finally kissed. Not sure why the "timing wasn't right" while they were having the heart-to-heart in his bedroom earlier, but I guess it finally was in the gardens after talking about her dead father again. Those two are certainly a strange lot. The kiss was pretty hot--but would have been much better if ABC Family hadn't already been showing it in the promos all week.

Speaking of promos, next week they're touring through an underground metal maze. What happened: did they accidentally end up in an episode of second season Lost? Poor Lori. She doesn't get to have any of the boys, but she sure seems to have a lot of crap happening to her lately like getting beat up in the alley and locked behind weird automatic metal doors.

Greek:
Hmm. I'm definitely glad I gave this show another try last night. I enjoyed last night's ep much more than the other 1.5 episodes of it I've watched.

Cappie is growing on me. My major reservation about him is still that he makes me really miss his apparent role models, Hidden Palms' Cliff and Veronica Mars' Dick Casablancas. And missing those two makes me depressed because they are gone. But even though the kid playing Cappie is no Michael Cassidy or Ryan Hansen, he definitely didn't deserve the senator's daughter saying that he looks like Rob Thomas! Ouch! Seriously low blow.

Cappie definitely is the comedic highlight of the show. He has a tendency to over do it, but often he's very funny:

"We're down three goals, there's a minute left. There's only one thing to do: start drinking now."
and,

Quote of the Night:
"We may be puking, but the Omega Chis are not used to running on puke like we are."

My other favorite part of the show is Dale a.k.a. Clark of Clark and Michael. No surprise though: Michael Cera has good taste. Dale's a riot. I love whenever he and Rusty talk physics (because physics geeks really are that nerdy), his borderline-scary religiousness (going to "the most fantastic Left Behind party ever!" and pointing out that "the next one might be in heaven"), and his hot yellow shorts!

What I definitely don't like about this show is the senator's daughter pledge girl. She's so annoying. And are there really people like her in real life? I would recommend that the people in charge of Greek write her off the show and give all of her airtime to Dale.

Two final observations:

Whatever town this college is in is extremely lax in enforcing the underage drinking laws. Does no one ever card Rusty at the bar? He looks like he's 14.

ABC Family is a product placement whore. If it's not Sour Patch Kids, it's Andy Samberg movies... ("Hot Rod? Hilarious." First of all, I seriously doubt that, and somehow I really don't think Casey would find that movie funny either.)

My Boys:
This show is much better if you can somehow train yourself not to pay attention to the voice-over.

Highlights from the two episodes:

• Bobby's NASCAR sound effects
• A cameo from 30 Rock's Kenneth! He's so cute.
• "What am I, a heroin addict? How am I supposed to sleep in the chair?"
• "You put the lotion in the freakin basket!" (he he, what was she talking about?)

I personally didn't find P.J.'s performance on the talk show to be any worse than everyone else's, but whatever, it was funny.

Original, quality programming on the internet! Score!

Clark and Michael:

So if you're not feeling the summer onslaught of crappy look-alike, talent show, lyric remembering, hidden camera reality programming, the good news is that there are now other places to turn to than the major networks. Basic cable is now pulling it's own weight (I'm of course partial to Kyle XY and Damages), but also don't undercount the good ol' internet!

I'm a couple of months late to jump on this bandwagon, but I'm totally in love with the internet episodes featuring Michael Cera (my beloved George Michael Bluth) and Clark Duke (from Greek). Michael Cera could say absolutely anything and it's a distinct possibility that I'll fall off my chair laughing at it. I love, love, love him. Even though (and perhaps partially because) he tends to dress like a grandfather. You're definitely going to want to check out clarkandmichael.com and experience the wonderfulness that is Michael Cera (yep, I linked to it twice: I mean business).

Best line from Episode 1:

Michael: I mean, maybe it's me, but I have a feeling that there's a whole undiscovered, untapped market of shows that aren't about forensic scientists or police officers or school teachers or some such shit.