Kyle XY: Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Kyle XY:
"Bringing Down the House"

This episode of Kyle XY was a great hour of television. But it wasn't a series finale. If anything, it was a let's-crack-this-baby-wide-open-because-we've-got-a-couple-more-seasons-of-story-to-tell type of episode.

But the reality is that Kyle XY isn't going to get the chance to tell us a few more seasons worth of stories. This fantastic episode with a rather wild cliffhanger is all we're going to get. And that just sucks.

Let me wipe the I-miss-Kyle-already tears out of my eyes and get on with the episode's highlights:

• I don't really understand Cassidy's "blackmail" on Kyle. Kyle's family wouldn't blame him if he had actually accidentally killed Jessi (when she was trying to kill Cassidy). I think they all understand that Jessi can be unstable and that Kyle would try to keep her from hurting someone. Cassidy doesn't have much of a leg to stand on here.
• Oh, this Kyle/Jessi thing is not going away. That was a very tight hug.
• Holy hell, Kyle's not wearing a shirt! Well, if this is the last episode of Kyle XY ever, at least we get to ogle Kyle's bare chest for awhile. It seems that the people in charge have stumbled onto a very effective way of placating me...
• LOL at Jessi talking about Kyle's pectoral muscles.
• Kyle: "Your hand...it feels nice." (My goodness.)
• AHAHAhahaha! The face Kyle gave Jessi after she told him that the "charge" he felt was his libido was hysterical. Too funny for words. I seriously need to obtain a screencap of him making that face.
• Ha! It was also amusing when Nicole walked in on Jessi and Kyle with half his shirt on. Not a very smooth cover up there from Kyle.
• Jessi: "I'll be in the other room pretending to be dead."
• Josh: "Can anyone help me figure out how to throttle my girlfriend long distance?"
• Josh really should have been more careful to hide the fact that Andy slept over when he was ranting. He should be very grateful to Kyle for keeping his parents preoccupied with other matters so that they are completely ignoring his indiscretions.
• Jessi: "We can access the city police's thermal imaging scans. Like how they find the people growing the weed!"
  Kyle: "The weed?"
  Jessi: "Yeah, the blaze. The herb. Chronic."
  Kyle: "Where'd you pick that up?"
  Jessi: "Cable."
• Wow, Amanda remembers the number the Ouija board gave them when Kyle asked it his birthday. I forgot that even happened.
• Kyle's getting a lot of action today. First Jessi felt him up, now Amanda kissed him.
• Kyle: "How was it possible to feel electricity for one person, and butterflies for another?" (And, more importantly, which is better?)
• Jessi: "And dead girls get stuck in the house doing thermal scans of Seattle's industrial district."
• Wow, now Nate's making fun of people's mothers? He's just full of charm.
• Doesn't Latnok have security cameras? Kyle's kind of ripping apart their computers in plain sight.
• Ha, Jessi identified the bacteria in Josh's cup.
• Kyle's burning Adam's journals on the barbecue grill?
• Oh, Kyle's just lying to the bad guys, Nicole. It's not that big of a deal.
• Kyle: "Thanks for coming with me."
  Declan: "Are you kidding? Being your lookout? Breaking into someone's apartment? It's like the old days. I'd be pissed if you hadn't have asked me."
• Declan can pick locks now?
• Kyle: "Isn't that breaking and entering?"
  Declan: "It was ok when it was just entering?"
  
• OMG! There are going to be hundreds of cloned Kyles running around?! And the show's ending now?! Nooooo!!! I want to see all the Kyles!
  
• Whoa--Kyle and Jessi kissing made the lights explode!
  
• Hmm, maybe Nicole does have a solid argument about this no-Kyle-and-Jessi-dating-while-living-in-her-house thing. They're going to blow out all her lamps and electrical appliances. That could get expensive.
  
• Andy has brothers?
  
• Ugh, Kyle has to squirt this bacteria stuff into all these different tanks? How time consuming...
  
• Nice standing high jump, Kyle!
  
• Jessi: "I imagine you're not dropping off another lasagna."
  
• Jessi: "Unfortunately, you're going to have to do it."
  Amanda: "What? Break into his room and steal his files?"
  Jessi: "I was thinking firebomb, but okay."
  
• Wow, Kyle can reverse gravity. Or at least stall it. That's fantastic.
  
• Hey, Mark, thanks. You've turned into quite a helpful guy.
  
• Ha, well, Amanda's secretly kind of badass :-)
  
• Geez! That's quite the taser Cassidy's got there.
  
• This Cassidy fellow has quite the mommy complex.
  
• Nice punch, Kyle!
  
• So "the old Kyle" wouldn't have done whatever it takes to protect Amanda and the Tragers? I disagree.
  
• Whoaaaa, huh?! Kyle's as-of-yet unmentioned mother is Cassidy's mother?! Cassidy is his brother?! Aaaand, that's it?! Yep, there was no conclusion here at all. Arrrrgh.
  

So, um, wow. Kyle has a mother. Who knew? Personally, since I was under the impression that Adam and Sarah were a couple, I would have thought that Adam's son would also be Sarah's son (if he had an actual mother at all), but apparently that is not the case. And I guess we should be heartily thankful for that because otherwise we'd be watching a lot of Kyle/Jessi incest. But why has this woman not been mentioned before? Shouldn't Adam have warned Kyle that he has a crazy-ass mother out there somewhere?

And then there's the Amanda/Jessi debacle. Who does he pick? Kyle doesn't know, and I can't say that I have the answer either. I've always been on the Kyle/Amanda team. And I'm usually a stick-with-the-love-interest-the-show-started-with type of girl. But it's undeniable that Jessi has turned out to be all kinds of awesome. She was freaking hilarious in this episode. And she and Kyle definitely have a certain spark that the extremely chaste Kyle/Amanda relationship tended to lack. Sorry, Kyle, I don't know what to tell you to do.

Another disappointing aspect of this "series finale" is that we didn't get much of an opportunity to say goodbye to any of the characters that we've come to know over the years. Somewhat understandably, Kyle's mission consumed most of the episode, not leaving much time for the other characters to further their own stories. Josh had a pretty nice storyline with Andy. Nicole did get to express her love and concern for Kyle. It was cool that Declan popped up for a little illegal activity. But Lori was barely in this episode at all! And Lori is easily one of the best parts of this whole show.

When a television series is canceled prematurely and a movie is out of the question, it is often suggested that the story be continued (and ultimately resolved) in a comic book. I think this would be a perfect medium for Kyle XY. I mean, this story practically reeks of comic book fodder. And, I for one, would like to know what happens with all of this stuff, even if I can't watch it resolved on television. It wouldn't even have to be an actual comic book either--ABC Family could just post it on its Web site. Don't they owe us some closure? (Posted on the Web site now is a fairly detailed discussion of the show's long-term plans. Personally, I would still like to see how it would all play out.)

The main downside to a comic book: we won't get to see Matt Dallas's beautiful face (and body). Oh, Kyle, I miss you already.

(photo: abcfamily.com)


P.S. Remember when all episodes of Kyle XY had to somehow work in a reference to Sour Patch Kids? Those were the days... Bye, Kyle.