SYTYCD: Picking "Stars"

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 12 Results Show"

It was tough for me to pick the two dancers I expect to get kicked off tonight for the EW SYTYCD predition game. For the girls, like pretty much everyone, I'm thinking Caitlin will go home. (She's upped her game the last couple weeks, but this field of girls is pretty strong.) But the boys are tricky this week. My guess is that the bottom three will be Jason, Kupono and Evan. If the competition were fair and Kupono does a solo that is remotely as horrendous as the one he did last week, he'd be going home. I wanted to pick Kupono as my prediction. But I think I understand the "secret" workings of the show too well to actually expect that the judges will eliminate Kupono instead of Jason. So far, Kup's been in at least two "tour worthy" numbers (Mia's addiction contemp and Sonya's vampire contemp). I doubt that the judges view any of Jason's numbers as "tour worthy." We're all well aware that they didn't like the alien number. So that's why I locked in the prediction that Jason will get the boot, even though I dearly hope that is not going to be the case. I'm still convinced that Jason is far better than we're being led to believe. I'd love to see him dance with another partner and see how that goes.

The show:

• "Seven Nation Army" by the White Stripes! I love this song!
• Call me crazy, but the non-hip hop guys look like they're dancing this hip hop group number better than Phillip.
• Hey, Jason got to be the only one standing at the end of the routine! Good for him. That might be small consolation when he unceremoniously gets the boot tonight, but at least it's something.
• Geez, I just liked a Nappy-Tabs routine. Of course, I think I mostly liked the song, but it's still unsettling.
• Nigel says that Sony won't clear Michael Jackson's music for SYTYCD, so they can't do a MJ tribute episode. Boooo.
• Mary almost seemed like she was going to burst into tears at the thought of her and the other judges not getting to fix who goes home anymore after tonight.
• Tyce just yelled, "That's it!" at Cat. Don't yell at Cat, punk.
• Cat asks Mary while Jason and Caitlin keep ending up in the bottom three and Mary does not have the integrity to answer, "Because that's how we, the judges, want it."
• First shock of the night: Randi and Evan are STILL not in the bottom three!
• So who is still voting for Randi and Evan? And, um, why?
• Wait! Nigel's admitting that the judges know the results in the morning and have all day to make up their minds on who is going to go home before the dancers even do the solos!!! I mean, I don't think that it comes as too much of a surprise that the judges already have their minds made up and that the solos don't count for anything, but to flat out admit it! If the decisions are already made, why even put these poor six dancers through the stress of having to "dance for their lives"?
• WHAT?!?! Second surprise of the night: Kup and Kayla are NOT in the bottom three and Melissa and Ade are!
• Well, now I'm really glad that I changed my prediction from Kupono to Jason.
• I did have a sneaky feeling that Mia's addiction routine would get Kupono and Kayla a lot of votes. It seemed almost universally loved, and when I rewatched it today, I liked it better than I did last night.
• The dancers in danger are: Caitlin, Jason, Jeanine, Phillip, Melissa and Ade. It's a whole new ballgame!
• Oh no. Now we have to watch more audition footage (for season 6) during tonight's results show. And Tyce is in it. Frankly, I saw more than enough audition footage for this season, and I don't want to watch any more. I didn't even pay attention to that Teddy guy because I assumed he was bad and then I was stunned when the judges went gaga over him.
• But anyway: Jason vs. Chbeeb. Do they chuck the far superior dancer in favor of the dude with the fan following? (But Phillip's fan following has let him down these last too weeks.)

Caitlin: Her solo is really sweet and fun to watch. I doubt it will save her, but she did a good job.

Jason: Throwing out all the spins and spinning jumps he's got. Very bold, assertive little solo and a different look for him. (But he screwed me over in the prediction quiz by not wearing a shirt, since I said all the boys in the bottom three would wear shirts.)

Jeanine: How she can dance at all in such a skimpy, escort-esque dress is beyond me. Sure enough, I'm not finding this solo to be nearly as good as her solo last week.

Phillip: However, I am liking Chbeeb's solo better this week. But it's kind of a problem that he just does weird things with his arms and shoulders and basically doesn't move his feet at all. I mean, dancing usually involves moving around the floor and the show is called So You Think You Can Dance not So You Think You Can Stand Still While You Do Some Kooky Arm Motions.

Melissa: I'm not sure this is the best display of ballet ever seen, but I think the novelty of a ballet solo will keep her save this week.

Ade: Ade's music is made up of those weird noises computers make when you start them up. But nevertheless he brings the house down with his solo because, you know, he actually did some stuff, displayed some energy and danced around. Interesting concept. He was downright Joshua-esque in that solo (in that he performed a well-conceived, interesting, captivating solo).

Continuing on:

• The judges go to "deliberate" while we "listen" to Kelly Rowland.
• If the judges already know who they're kicking off, how about they just tell us now and save us the unpleasantness of having to sit though the musical guests?
• We didn't get to see a "superstars of dance" performance tonight.

The results:

• Nigel says they made their picks on who has the potential to be "stars." I think he said that the dancers are all good with technique, so the judges made their decision based on star-quality. But, um, no, Nigel, they're not "all" good with technique--Phillip, namely, is horrible with technique. But I guess this means they're picking him over Jason. Grr.
• The girls: Nigel says congratulations to Caitlin and that she's reached the end of her journey on SYTYCD. Is "congratulations" really the correct thing to say in this situation?
• The boys: Nigel thinks all the boys are brilliant dancers. But, wait! He tells Phillip to step forward and (while Phillip makes the saddest face in the world) says that he hasn't been good in the other genres and this is the end of the road for him! A microphone picks up a stunned Jason saying "OH MY GOD," echoing what we're all thinking.
• So Nigel's "star" speech was a fakeout?
• To make us all feel better about losing the precious Chbeeb, Nigel says he's secured it so that both Phillip and Caitlin will get to go on the tour. Well, phew. I'm just so relieved. Not.
• In any event, I AM so happy to be wrong in predicting that Jason would go home! Yea Jason! I really think we're going to see great things from him next week.

The big SYTYCD news this week is that details of the big 100th episode shindig are starting to leak. SPOILER ALERT!!!!! My beloved Travis Wall reported that he went in to tape a performance of the bench dance with Heidi!!!!!!!!!!!! The bench dance. OMFG. But that's not all! There are reports that a whole bunch of season 2 people came back to do the "Ramalama Bang Bang" routine!!!!! There are reportedly going to be appearanced by a lot SYTYCD favorites from previous seasons, but just between the Travis and Heidi and the bench dance and "Ramalama," I could not be more excited about this episode. Throw in a Benji and Heidi number and something with Pasha, and I'll be over the freaking moon for weeks.