The Best Quotes of Greek: Cappie

In honor of Greek's impending series finale, I decided to look back through my previous Greek-centric blog entries and pull out some of the show's funniest quotes ever for a "Best Quotes of Greek" list. This undertaking turned out to be a somewhat herculean task. I haven't blogged every single episode of Greek--but I covered a lot of them. And the show is darn funny.

As I was going through the posts, it quickly became clear that I wouldn't be able to cover all of my "Best Quotes of Greek" with one post. It would have been gigantic. The list must be broken down, so I decided to split the quotes up by character. These lists also are a nice way to individually pay tribute to the show's characters who have shown so brightly over the years.

Since it was Cappie's line (the one about running on vomit) that initially solidified my love of Greek, it only seems appropriate to kick off the "Best Quotes of Greek" lists with him. Also, when you think "quip" and "Greek," you think Cappie. It should surprise no one that of all the Greek characters, Cappie's list of funny quotes was the longest. And for every one of these Cappie quotes, there are probably 30 more I didn't pick but could have. He is the comedic backbone of this show, and even when you find yourself annoyed by his general reluctance to grow up, you cannot help but be amused by the things that come out of his mouth. The boy grounds his one-liners in his astounding knowledge base of pop culture, literature, and history, and while his grades might not display his brilliance, his jokes sure do.

The Best Quotes of Cappie:

Cappie: "We may be puking, but the Omega Chis are not used to running on puke like we are."

Besides girls, Cappie's other interests are "beer, Days of Our Lives, and mentoring youth."

Rebecca: "I have new respect of Chelsea Clinton."
Cappie: "Me too! Now that she's grown into her face, she's foxy."

Cappie: "You're skipping classes, you're avoiding schoolwork... It's like you're a real, live boy."

Beaver: "They just mooned us."
Cappie: "Yeah, everyone except for Rusty; he just showed his underpants."

Cappie: "You're insane, Chip."
Dale: "It's Dale."
Cappie: "I knew it was one of them."

Cappie: "Is it a rainy day or Monday? Those always get me down."

Rusty: "This year's almost over and I only dated one girl."
Cappie: "And you see no obvious connection between this fact and the diary?"

Cappie: "'Serial monogamist' is just a stone's throw away from being 'the marrying kind'!"

Cappie: "You were supposed to take care of the fish this week, not eat them!"
Rusty: "Then why'd you give us bibs?!"
Cappie: "This is a baby fish papoose pouch!"

Rusty: "I kissed Jordan."
Cappie: "Who? Michael Jordan? Jordan Knight? Jordan Catalano? Don't tell me you kissed Andy's Jordan!"
Rusty: "I wish I kissed Michael Jordan."

Rusty: "Cappie, I have something behind my back that's going to make you very happy."
Cappie: "Sounds like Heath's department."

Dean Bowman: "You are the most accomplished and promising students at CRU."
Cappie: "Believe me, if I could shoot myself a quizzical look right now, I would."

Evan: "Why do you feel the need to call me by my full name every time we talk?"
Cappie: "I like it. Makes you sound like a comic book villain. ...So why don't you trust me, Evan Chambers?"

Evan: "It's like a compulsion."
Cappie: "Your face is like a compulsion."
Evan: "That doesn't even make sense."
Cappie: "Your face doesn't make any sense."

Cappie: "Conflict in the Cartwright clan? Paging Danny Tanner!"

Cappie: "Kill her, then have sex with her! It's the Kappa Tau way! I didn't mean that."

Hilary: "You're David Wong?!"
Cappie: "Yes. Yes, I am. I was adopted by two gay dudes...from China."

Cappie: "What is it, Spitter? It kind of freaks me out when you walk in and stare at us with that serial killer smirk."

Cappie: "Hey, why are kittens called 'kittens'? They're little cats; shouldn't they be called 'cattens'?"

Rusty: "Are you growing up?"
Cappie: "You shut your damn mouth!"

Rusty: "A C-section? How old are these phone numbers?"
Cappie: "Well, hopefully older than nine months."

Cappie: "She's tall, she's pretty...stern. The word 'Nordic' comes to mind."

Cappie: "I hope she's easier than your sister. Try pleasing her! Rewind: try finding the perfect gift for her."

Rusty: "Success tonight means my first Valentine's!"
Cappie: "It's like I'm reliving first grade through you."

Rusty: "I wanted to punch you, but I couldn't."
Cappie: "Yeah, I know. You've got weak wrists."

Cappie: "That's what Heath said. Ha ha."

Cappie: "Daley won't even do book club anymore. Even after I shared my erotic fixation with the Bronte sisters."

(photo: abcfamily.com)