SYTYCD: Finale Disappointments

So You Think You Can Dance: "Finale Performance Show"

In my four seasons of watching SYTYCD, I don't think I've ever been so unexcited about a season finale performance show. Oh well, let's see how it goes:

• They are taping the finale in the Kodak Theater, and the stage/set is gorgeous. It's going to be kind of strange to not have a bunch of teenage girls standing right smack-up against the stage though. It seems like the dancers are so far away from the people.
• Was that Pono I just saw in the audience?
• BTW, Deeley is sporting a rather sack-like shimmery, shiny gold mini dress with sleeves. I'm not loving the frock. Her loose, wavy hair, however, is awesome.
• It's Shankers (Adam Shankman)!!! I thought he might show up for the finale. It seems like the less frequently he comes around to judge, the more I like him. Last year, he annoyed me, but this year I love him. I don't really get it.
• Finally, we've found a space big enough to handle Mary's boisterous shrieking.

Wade Robson group number:

• The featurette: Two jocks hit on two cheerleaders. Um, in the practice Wade was way out-dancing all four of these people...
• The dance: Hey, what a shock, Evan can't catch a football. Ok, the camera edits bother me even more in this space than in they do in the normal venue. Maybe Jeanine's facial expressions translate better to the 3,000-person live audience, but they were not made for television close-ups. Ugh, why do I feel like I'm watching a knockoff version of Bring It On?

We take a break from the season five action to watch an epic promo for the new fall season featuring flashbacks from previous seasons and some new audition footage. Hey, I think I saw that tapper girl (Bianca) who they keep not putting through to the top 20. (She must be a glutton for punishment--or they were saving her for season six or something.) Tyce: "Season six is here, hel-LOOOO!!!" Um, here's a suggestion for Tyce: when you are judging a popular reality competition show, you probably should try to avoid sounding like Kate Gosselin yelling at Jon in Toys 'R Us. Just a thought.

Jeanine and Evan (Sonya Tayeh jazz):

• The featurette: Jeanine gets to kick and punch Evan a lot.
• The dance: The routine was not poorly danced, but I just wish I could see season four's Mark and Courtney Galiano give this routine a go. Evan is doing a pretty good job of falling though. This stage is ginormous, and because of that I think it might be difficult to do a really good job of selling the routines tonight.
• The judging: Shankers says he never saw Jeanine coming (perhaps because she was so minimally featured in the pre-Top 20 episodes?) and that he didn't think Evan would make the Top 4 either. He says that Sonya did a good job of choreographing to the strengths of the dancers (Evan's exceptional ability to fall, I guess). Nigel roots Evan on like he actually wants him to win. Ha.

Brandon's solo:

• The featurette: Brandon slips into a Southern accent sometimes. Brandon says that his favorite routine was his tango with Janette. He says that he doesn't see his dancing brilliance in himself sometimes.
• The solo: I think he's wearing the same board shorts that Matthew McConaughey wore to film that surfer movie. (Example A. Btw, why is McConaughey is in a freaking tree? Ha!) Anyway, Brandon's solo was one long, uninterrupted steam of powerful movements. It was impressive, but he certainly wasn't relaxing and just letting his brilliance flow.
• The judging: So they're judging the solos now? We must have a lot of time to kill tonight. Shankers says that he doesn't get the board shorts and that the solo was great but a bit on the frantic side.

Kayla and Brandon (Tyce Dioria Broadway)

• The featurette: Uh oh, Brandon and Kayle are about to get Tyced. Kayla promises us that this will be Tyce's last routine of the season. Tyce asked Brandon to do a "rose plop," I think.
• The dance: Why does Brandon have to dance twice in a row? That seems unfair. At least the costumes are cooler than the usual Broadway costumes on this show. Kayla's opening split on top of Brandon on the table was gorgeous. I didn't hate this number, but I'm not sure it really engaged me either. They danced it well, even if their side-by-side "pirouettes" (that's what I'm calling them anyway, Nigel called them a hopping something) got a bit out of sync (it might have been on purpose?). Brandon's sequined shirt/jacket reminds me of Chuck Bass.
• The judging: Adam, Mary and Nigel all love it. Nigel says Tyce has been amazing this season and that he's named for a cookie. Then Nigel tells an anecdote about the time he had a heart attack (because Brandon's character seemed to have a heart attack at the end of the number). So, heart attacks can be played for levity in Tyce's world, but cancer is serious. Ok then.

Jeanine's solo:

• The featurette: Sounds like Jeanine's mom decided that Jeanine would be a dancer. Oh no, we're talking about the Russian folk dance again. Let's let it go, people. Jeanine's favorite dance was the Travis Wall contemporary routine with Jason. She claims the kiss at the end of the routine was not choreographed.
• The solo: Using tango music and wearing the most bikini-like dress I've ever seen. I think I missed a lot her dancing because I spent most of the time she was out there trying to figure out what was going on with the "dress." Travis sighting! When she's done, everyone stands and applauds like they've just seen, um, I don't even know what could have warranted this sort of reaction. (Ok, yes, the pirouette was good, but it wasn't Danny Tidwell terrority or anything. Calm down a bit, people.)
• The judging: Shankers is beside himself over her pirouette. Mary says that solo was the best thing that Jeanine's ever done on this show. Uh, guess I should have paid more attention then. Nigel says Jeanine's "in the final two" as far as he's concerned. Um, yeah, he says that after only two people have done solos. What's he going to say after Kayla performs?

Brandon and Evan (Laurieann Gibson pop jazz dance battle):

• The featurette: Why do the top two boys always have to dance battle? Neil and Danny were battling princes. Josh and Twitch were battling Russian folk dancers. (But, really, wasn't Benji and Travis' non-battle nerd hip hop the best of the bunch?)
• The dance: This is kind of a weak dance battle--they weren't even looking at each other for the first chunk of the routine. They did eventually get around to some fake fighting that I didn't really buy. Seriously, dude, what kind of guys dance fight to Janet Jackson music anyway? This is so weird. Evan's actually dancing this pretty well, but there's something weird about Evan trying to have a "nasty groove."
• The judging: Adam thinks Evan "got a little dusted." Um, does Adam realize that pointing that out is just going to get all of the hardcore Evan fans to vote for him all the more? Mary wants to know what the nastiest thing Evan's ever done is. Evan says that he can't decide because "the list is so long." Nigel says Evan has a "choochy face." Frankly, if I were Evan, I'd be sooooooooooo tired of people saying how nice and sweet I am that I'd go punch somebody's grandma or something. Enough is enough.

Kayla and Jeanine (Mia Michaels contemporary):

• The dance: Um. Something bizarre happened with my FOX channel--the commercials break stretched waaaay too long and they finally cut back into the show for literally only the final 6 seconds of this dance. Uhhh, what the hell? Thanks, FOX Philly, that was so helpful. After this debacle, I don't know if Jeanine or Kayla should count on too many votes from the greater Philadelphia area...
• The judging: Adam says it was a concept piece by Mia. Mary says this piece is going to be remembered forever--not likely! I can't remember something I never saw! Mary says these two girls are the strongest girls ever in a finale. Not buying that one, and I take offense on behalf of Katee and Courtney G., Sabra and Lacey, and Heidi and Donyelle. Nigel says something pervy about how he wishes more of the girl's outfits had come off. Great, I'm so glad I got to hear that instead of getting to actually watch the dance. Thanks.

Evan's solo:

• The featurette: Evan's favorite routine was the Mia Michaels butt routine with Randi. Evan says he's "dropping the hammer" tonight. Lol.
• The solo: He's got the fedora and a tie but no suspenders. I think I enjoyed that solo more than Evan's other solos, but maybe he's just finally worn me down and is building me back up to like things I didn't use to like?
• The judging: Adam points out that this solo was a variation of his audition routine and calls doing that a calculated risk (meanwhile, Brandon did his audition solo last week and no one seemed to have a problem with that). Nigel agrees that Evan is special and entertaining, but doesn't think that Evan has grown as much over the course of the season as he would have liked. Ultimately, I agree with that assessment. (Not that I feel like any of the Top 4 have "grown" a whole heck of a lot over the course of the season, actually. I'd say they're all about as good as they were all along.)

Kayla and Evan (Tony and Melanie jive):

• The featurette: Didn't Evan already jive this year? Let's see if we can finally get a good jive this season to make up for the two bad ones.
• The dance: Why is Kayla jiving in cowboy boots and a frilly tutu? I think something about Kayla's arm movements while jiving looks very bizarre--she looks like she's flailing around a broken arm or something. I'd say that they started out pretty strong but the middle and end weren't great. The choreo kind of petered out after the cartwheel/lift sequence. There didn't seem to be much going on after that.
• The judging: Adam doesn't think that was a "finale-level routine" in his opinion. I also found it to be a little lacking, but Mary liked the choreo. Mary doesn't think that Evan has the jive kicks right yet. She also criticizes arm movements, but fails to put out that it was KAYLA's arm positions that looked so bizarre and then says that Kayla stole the show. Unbelievable. This is why Evan's going to win, people--the judges need to stop picking on him! Even I feel sorry for him now, and I thought he should have been out of the competition weeks ago! Now Nigel says that Kayla hasn't been showing personality this season up until now? Wha!? He's never complained about her not showing personality before that I recall (he did say her hair was in her face once).

Kayla's solo:

• The featurette: We get to spend a little more time with Kayla's grandparents. One last time for their cuteness to get her some votes. Kayla's favorite routine was the addiction piece with Kupono. Kayla says she's not just a dancer and always "reaches out and pulls people into the performance" or something like that. Well, that was modest.
• The dance: To "Sweet Dreams" and the strong music helps her through her iffy solo composition tendencies. It was good, but there was one leap in there that didn't look up to her typical standards.
• The judging: Adam compares her to some of the best dancers ever on the show (namely Travis, Will, and Danny). The judges all say nice things about her, but no one flat out says she should win (like they did about Brandon and Jeanine). I guess they realized that they've been backing a losing pony this whole time?

Jeanine and Brandon (Louis van Amstel paso doble):

• The featurette: To big it home one more time that the powers that be at SYTYCD want Jeanine or Brandon to win, they give them the coveted final performance slot. (It probably would have been more fair to end with the four-dancer group number, but I guess they figured that immediately after watching that cheerleader routine, people might have refused to vote for anybody.) We're ending the finale performance show with a paso? That's a bold choice. It's a good think Debbie Allen isn't here.
• The dance: Oh, it's just an excuse to get Jeanine in another bikini top. I think that this very dramatic music and strobe lighting would trick you into thinking this is a great routine even if it's not. Luckily, it does seem to be going much better than the other paso dobles of the season. Ok, the performance was good; the judges are going to be beside themselves though and I don't think it warrants that.
• The judging: Shankers thinks that what makes a champion on this show is the transitions and the small things in a dance (which, by the way, was what was missing in Kayla and Evan's jive). Mary lets out a scream because she's somehow forgotten to do that all night. And then she lets out about six more screams. Nigel also tries to scream. Nigel again goes waaaaaaaaaaay too far in regards to Jeanine and what he'd "like to do to her." You can literally hear the audible discomfort of the audience members.

Cat wants the judges to pick the winner and Adam just compliments everyone, to which Cat replies, "Mary, can you be more of a man than Adam?" HA! Go Deeley! Nigel takes a quick second to plug the fact that Evan's brother will be in season 6. (So, um, can we assume that Ryan's going to make the Top 20, because if he doesn't this is really ridiculous.) Nigel calls it for Brandon or Jeanine and Evan and Kayla look pissed off.

My favorite routines: ??? Um, I guess I'll go with the Broadway (did I just say that?) and the paso.

Honestly, right now I can't really pick who I want to win because I just feel annoyed with this episode and this season. During this performance show I went from being neutral/apathetic to kind of detesting the dancers, the judges and even the show in general. And I am not used to detesting this show; I don't like feeling this way about it. When pressed, I guess I'll go with Brandon for the win, just to compensate for all of the other fantastically-skilled boy contemporary dancers who got shafted in seasons past (Travis, Danny, Will). However, if for some reason SYTYCD forgets to announce the winner tomorrow night and we all just forget this season ever happened, that's totally fine with me too.