Gossip Girl: Affairs to Remember

Gossip Girl:

"Last Tango, Then Paris"

I told myself that if Gossip Girl could string together a couple tolerable episodes, I'd go back to blogging about it. And the last two episodes ("Ex-Husbands and Wives" and "It's a Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World") have been all right. The show is much better when all the characters are together in one or two main story lines, instead of each of them being off in his or her own dumb plot.

So here's the blog for the Season 3 finale. Play-by-play first, then additional reflections:

• Oh, yes, Rufus, when your teenage daughter has run amok, the best way to handle her is to send her to the loft to live with her 19-year-old brother. That's fantastic parenting.
• And what makes it even better is that Rufus apparently never even bothered to call Dan to make sure that Jenny actually made it to the loft.
• Eric: "Go ahead and send her crazy ass away."
• Jenny, you should not sleep in that much eye makeup. That has to be bad for you.
• Chuck brings Nate breakfast in bed? (Is that breakfast? I can't tell what's on the tray.)
• Wow, Vanessa's been gone for like a day and Dan's already having "meaningless kisses" with "old friends"? To me, that says a lot about how much he really "loves" Vanessa. Not sure how he really could love Vanessa that much though. Especially after all that Tisch crap she was trying to pull over on him. At least Dan knows Serena will never edge him out for an educational opportunity he's interested in.
• Gossip Girl: "Spotted: A family reunion only Faulkner would approve of."
• Blair: "We all try on own clothes and are pleasantly surprised when they still fit, but that doesn't me we should wear them ever again!" (That's actually really quite helpful advice to me personally, because I recently made an attempt at cleaning out my closet.)
• Rufus: "Was that my Lincoln Hawk t-shirt Serena was wearing?"
• Who was the lady with all the flowers who was in the elevator behind Nate?
• It's May for goodness sake! Take off your winter coats!
• Blair thinks Nate and Serena are "mythic"? Did I hear that correctly? Mythic?! I think Blair needs to look up the definition of mythic.
• Blair: "Dan loves Vanessa, God knows why..."
• Dan and Blair interacting is usually entertaining.
• Oh, the elevator lady was bring Chuck's flowers for Blair.
• If you leave, Jenny, you'll get to be with your mom, so you'll have the shot of having a quasi-responsible parent. Which would be one more than you've got now.
• Wow, that's Serena's outfit for visiting the hospital when her best friend's maid is giving birth!?! A mini skirt and a shirt with a very plunging neckline and 4-inch heals? Is Darota giving birth in the middle of a Beyonce music video? Because that's the only excuse for wearing an outfit like that for the occasion.
• Blair: "Goodbye, Georgina. May God save your soul. Again."
• Wow, Darota's got a lot of people in that delivery room with her.
• Blair: "Hi, I'm meeting a young man here. Probably in a bow tie, possibly carrying peonies?"
• Well, what time is it? Was Blair late or what? Couldn't she have sent Chuck a text to say, "Wait an extra five minutes"?
• Noooooooo, nooooooooooo, noooooooooooo, noooooooooooo Chuck and Jenny. Noooooooooo Chuck and Jenny. Nooooooooooo Chuck and Jenny. Noooooooooooooooooooooo!
• Ok, Jenny, I'm sure you can find a way to "not be alone" without having to sleep with Chuck Bass.
• Well, Eleanor and Cyrus are definitely better choices for godparents than Chuck and Blair.
• Oh, yeah, Dan and Vanessa are REAL happy. The two of them together is just a pile of laughs.
• Why are Dan and Serena still hanging around the hospital? The baby's born. I'm sure they're free to leave.
• How long did it take Blair to get from the Empire State Building to Chuck's hotel? Did she get mugged on the way there or something?
• Why don't you take Blair out of the apartment with the crazy girl in it, Chuck? Do not mess around with Jenny.
• Wow, Jenny looks terrible! That eye makeup is sooooo not designed for crying.
• Oh, yeah, Serena, you being "alone for awhile" is really going to work. That will last for like a second.
• What a mournful cover version of Band of Horses' "The Funeral"! I am such a sucker for haunting versions of indie rock songs.
• Don't just leave her there, Eric! Oh, ok, he went to get Dan. I guess that's ok.
• Nate: "Yes, Serena, it is you." (Snap! Go Nate!)
• Chuck: "You know what would make this night even better?" (How I finished his sentence for him in my head:) "If I hadn't just slept with Jenny Humphrey."
• Whoa! Dan! Fists of fury!
• While it's nice to see Dan finally sticking up for Jenny, isn't it kind of a day late, a dollar short? Most of the year, Dan's been, what, completely indifferent to Jenny, at best? And now he's charging in to defend her honor?
• Sorry, Dan, I'm not sure I believe that this really "begins and ends with Chuck." Not after the tremendous amount of crap Jenny's been pulling all year long. She was in a bad situation of her own causing and it led her to make yet another terrible decision. If anything, this begins and ends with Jenny Humphrey.
• One week later... Blair let Jenny stay in New York for a whole week? (Was she allowed to be in Brooklyn, or was that off limits too?)
• So, even after hitting rock bottom, Jenny refuses to abandon the horrific eye makeup? That look is not working out, Little J. It's time to move on from that too.
• At least Jenny's train wreck of a story line only got her sent away and she didn't have to be mowed down in the street like Marissa Cooper.
• Of course the reason Serena wants to go to Paris is for the lingerie!
• Ha! Ohhhhhhh, Dan. And we thought Jenny was the messed up Humphrey.
• I hope Dan is smart enough to DNA test that baby. Am I confident that he's smart enough? Not really. Maybe he can talk to Blair on the phone and she can plant that idea in his head.
• CHUCK!!! NOOOO! Just when I was commending GG on not killing off Jenny, Chuck gets shot!
• How come when people get shot on TV shows, they don't react at first and then just slowly look down? Why does no one yell "OW!"?

Further reflections on Georgie's big secret: On second thought, Georgie's not even really pregnant is she? Earlier when she was talking to Chuck it sounded like she was in trouble with the Russians, and how would her having Dan's baby get her in trouble with the Russians? (The Russians have heard how annoying the Humphreys are and don't want there to be anymore of them?) She couldn't get whatever she wanted from Chuck or Blair earlier, so she concocted a new scheme while listening to Dan and Serena talk about babies. It seems too perfect to me that she's pregnant with Dan's baby right after hearing him say that he likes babies.

So, overall, this episode was an explosive end to a lackluster third season (which is so very like The O.C.). Did the no-holds-barred drama of the finale make up for the muck of the rest of the year? No. Does it set the show up for an interesting fourth season? Perhaps. I'm not convinced that it does, but maybe the show will come back with new ideas and a renewed sense of purpose.

From this interview with Michael Ausiello, executive producer Stephanie Savage makes it pretty clear that despite last being seen lying in a pool of his own blood in the street in Prague, Chuck is not dead. (Unless Blair's about to embark on a long relationship with a dead man a la Izzie on Grey's Anatomy.) Personally, I really don't understand why she gave that interview, which was published literally minutes after the finale ended. Why not let viewers sweat out Chuck's fate, which was one of the two main cliffhanger from the finale, for a little while at least? (Obviously no one really expects them to kill off Chuck Bass, but why bother to shoot him if they're going to assure us within minutes that he's going to be fine?) I said this after the Heroes people posted an interview explaining the Season 1 finale soon after it aired and I stand by it: Don't give an immediate interview after a finale. Let it fester for a minute or two. If your season finale can't stand on its own, write a better season finale.

(photo: cwtv.com)

**By the way, I'd just like to point out that the outfit Serena is wearing in this picture is what she wears to hang out at a friend's house.