Pushing Daisies: Window Display Dangers

Pushing Daisies: "Window Dressed to Kill"


This is bittersweet. Well, Pushing Daisies, let's just make the most of the time we have left, shall we?

The play-by-play:

• Olive's book was called "Double Negative: What You Shouldn't Not Know."
• Oh geez, how I love Lee Pace.
• That's one huge cherry hanging from the Pie Hole's ceiling! (Actually, it looks like there are at least two of them up there.)
• Olive: "And if you could speak in the declarative only, using affirmative or comparative modifiers."
• Pear-way To Heaven pie!
• Emerson: "Well, that's just downright craptastic, Clark."
• Holiday spirit? Winter? Wha? Oh, riiiiight, because this episode was supposed to air five months ago... Darn you, ABC! Darn you!
• Oh no, Olive ran away and these guys got locked up because of her. OMG, Mr. and Mrs. Snook didn't even notice that Olive was missing.
• Ha! Olive told the kidnappers that she and Ned are getting married. And Ned played along! Aww.
• Emerson snoring loudly which Chuck rambles.
• Emerson: "[That's] the kind of bad idea that gives a bad idea the will to live."
• Oh cool! This episode's about department store window decorators. I love department store window displays! I should join the group of "devotees."
• The inside world of window dressing is scary.
• Whoa, Olive got Ned to kiss her! Score! That was an adorable kiss too.
• Why is Olive the only one who gets to have musical interludes? I realize it's because Kristin Chenoweth is a fantastic singer, but it would be great if some other cast members got to join in sometime.
• That's kind of an odd choice of a scene for a "memorial window." And it rather conveniently depicts a way that someone could die.
• I can't believe Vivian saved all of Charles Charles' old clothes either. I mean, the dude totally jilted her and then saddled her with raising his illegitimate daughter.
• Chuck: "Erin and Coco didn't design any of these windows! Chic-As-Hell Denny did."
• How do I get people to preface my name with "Chic as hell" when they talk about me?
• Ned: "Why do you have a wedding veil?! We're still just playing, right?"
• Olive: "You try on your best friend's bra and you smile on the inside because yours are bigger and better." (Ouch, Chuck!)
• Ned: "I don't know what words to choose now."
• Kidnapper: "Take mad and multiply that to a power of pissed."
  Ned: "Don't be mad and certainly not to a power of that degree."
  
• Aww, poor Ned. He was just trying to help!
  
• "Ass-over-tea-kettle crazy things"
  
• Dick Dicker: "I'll need a proper bodyguard. Samson, my driver, would use me as a human shield if there was even the vaguest notion of a threat!"
  
• What's going to die if Ned keeps this rhino alive for more than a minute?
  
• Ha ha, now Ned has to chase an ex-dead rhino down the street. (Looks like he caught him, phew.)
  
• Coco: "after ranting like a size 10 at a sample sale..."
  
• Oh no! Ned's jealous of Randy because he's with Olive now!
  

Next week: Oh no! Emerson's baby mama who took his daughter away from him is Anna Espinosa! Why am I not surprised? No wonder he hasn't had any luck getting the girl back--Anna E. is no joke! They're going to need all of Ned's superpowers if they take her on...

SYTYCD: Enough Auditions Already...

So You Think You Can Dance: "Auditions #5 and #6"

Tonight's episode covered the last two audition cities--and the auditions wrapped up not a minute too soon. I don't think I could sit through another night of this...especially if the telecasts insist on showing more of the bad dancers than the good ones.

Los Angeles (with Adam Shankman as the third judge):

• Comfort!
• Joshua!!!!
• I remember Bianca. I thought she was going to make the Top 20 last year. With her back this year, we could conceivably have a female tapper and one or two male tappers in the Top 20. BTW, I just read that there was a female tapper in the Top 20 of the first season (which I didn't watch), so one of these people will not have the distinction of being the first tapper in the Top 20 as I had thought.
• Wow, Adam was just nice to the Jewish girl who is having a dance/religion conflict (despite not being a very good dancer). I shudder to think what Tyce would have said to that poor girl. It's nice when a confrontation between the judges and a weaker contestant goes pleasantly and no one is reduced to unnecessary nastiness.
• Good for Adam going up there and doing some Lindy Hop! Very nicely done.
• Joshua, Katee, Comfort and Lauren were cute serving as Adam's judges! That was a fun moment.
• I remember Asian-American ballroom dancers Asuka and Ricky from last year. I think I liked them then, and I still like them now. Ricky's really good. Asuka's really cute.
• Wow, now they're showing us a montage of the good auditionees and not even putting their names up on the screen. That's real nice. Sucks to be those (nameless) people...
• Nathan pulled out some kick-ass pirouettes. I especially liked the way he comes out of the pirouettes. I like how he relates to the music as well.
• So why can 17-year-olds not compete in SYTYCD? American Idol lets contestants who are ages 17 and younger compete. (Allison Iraheta, David Archuleta, Diana DeGarmo, etc. and those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.) Is it because SYTYCD is more physically demanding than Idol? More chance of someone getting hurt? Dancing With the Stars allows the under-18 set to compete too because Shawn Johnson is only 17.
• So Nathan will be 18 in time for season 6 this fall? That's good news! That gives us something to look forward to.
• I'm glad Nathan let his brother talk him into not quitting dancing because people picked on him. Why do kids keep making fun of other kids for doing something this great? If everyone listened to everyone else, we'd all be so mediocre.
• Ok, is it just me or is this whole "popping and locking" thing just a glorified version of The Robot? Frankly I'm kind of over it. That said, Sammy was all kinds of adorable.
• Amanda Kerby has great flexibility and some really solid pirouetting skills.
• Philip! Straight to Vegas without even having to dance! And he's here to dance with Ariel, a girl whose family was in a horrible car accident with a semi. This Ariel/Philip collaboration is promising--I'm beginning to think Philip might be able to pull off the couple dancing format of the show.
• Promising auditions from Alexie, Diana, and Chanel put them through to choreography. (Which seems like kind of a moot point--I'd be surprised if all three of them don't move on to Vegas.)
• Way, way, way too many close-ups of this dude's (Kevin's) abdomen area. I don't need to see this.
• What? They're not bringing Chanel to Vegas? Whatever... But Sammy, Alexie, and Diana do make it through.

Seattle (with Mia Michaels as the third judge):

• Mia! We're still talking about that Emmy she won for the Bench Dance from season two.
• This isn't So You Think You Can Tattoo! Hmm, hey, this Nick fellow can actually dance a bit...I wasn't expecting that.
• Oh no, Dmitrious already knows this looks a lot better in his head.
• Is Seattle really this hard up for talent? This is sad. (Actually, it doesn't all look as bad as they are trying to make it seem.)
• Kelsea Taylor is pretty cool. She wasn't really doing a ton of fancy tricks, but her kooky style was fun to watch.
• Only from Mia would "beautiful, disastrous weirdo" be a compliment...
• Ok, if only 4 dancers from the first day of auditions made it through to Vegas, couldn't they have shown us all four of their auditions instead of the montage of not-so-good people? Argh, SYTYCD!
• Kuponohi'poi (that might not be the entirely correct spelling--I couldn't get his whole name typed down before they took it off the screen) was ok. His hair annoys me. So we can call him Kupono? Because if they have to announce him by that long first name every week in the opening montage, that's going to be cumbersome.
• Lol. Leo does grief counseling because losing data can be a very traumatic experience.
• Oh, do we really have to do a dance battle between Sex and Leo? People, please.
• Did Sex really just compare himself to Twitch? That's so insulting to Twitch that I feel insulted by extension.
• So Leo won the dance battle but Sex gets to go to the choreography round and Leo doesn't? That doesn't seem fair.
• I can't believe Nigel and Mary sent Sex to the choreography round. He did a better job than I was expecting (my expectations were very low), but I feel seriously sorry for the poor girl who had to dance with him.

YEA! Next week we get to watch just dancers who can actually dance! Vegas, here were come!

SYTYCD: Bad Judge, Good Judge

So You Think You Can Dance: "Auditions #3 and #4"

I wasn't planning to blog this episode, but Tyce Diorio was SO annoying during his critique of the opening performance by that Tony guy that I had to start a post just to say: Holy crap, Tyce is annoying!!! Like he's so annoying that there has to be a word stronger than "annoying" to explain it. I don't think "obnoxious" covers it either. (Brief recap: Tyce: "BAAA-aaa-AAAA-aaad.") I now long for the days of Napoleon and Tabitha...


Continuing on with the Miami auditions:

• Priscilla's a great dancer and she's really adorable too.
• Oh, I didn't recognize Janette without the blond streaks in her hair. This routine is just one insane lift after another! Ok, now they're doing footwork and that looks good too. And holy heck, that flip/split lift thing is beyond awesome!
• Can you learn ballet by reading books? I'm thinking no...and this performance is doing nothing to convince me otherwise.
• Did Tyce always have so much attitude? I'm assuming he did, but somehow I've never noticed before. I think Nigel is regretting putting him on this judging panel, and I don't blame him. Sweet mother of mercy, I wouldn't want to have to listen to this guy talk for two whole days.
• Here's a plan: how about we get rid of Tyce and all of the Broadway numbers on this show completely?
• I kind of love this Joseph guy. He's reminiscent of Twitch with the combination of hip hop and effervescent personality. And I love his tongue-sticking-out face.
• Cat is so cute learning everyone's catchphrases.
• "I feel like I should be throwing up in the bathroom, but that's not my style. I need all my nutrition."
• I'm enjoying the tap performance by Eric ("Silky") more than I normally enjoy tap performances. I like it because he moves around the stage more than other tappers and he has incorporated other styles of dance (hip hop, breakdancing). And anyone with a forward AND backward worm in his routine gets a thumbs up in my book. Between this guy and the muscly dude from last week, I think there's going to be a tapper in the Top 20 for the first time!
• Paris, the former Miss Washington, isn't bad. I think she could stand to lose the tutu though--I don't think it's doing anything for her and it's kind of distracting. I liked the eerie version of "Toxic" that she performed to as well.
• Megan (I think that's what her name was...she was the girl in the purple shorts) was cool too. I liked her Terin Humphrey-esque backbend/split thing.
• Alex Long did one heck of a leg-up pirouette (there's probably a more appropriate ballet term for that move, but I can't come up with it). Marta should make all the gymnasts who try to do that move in their balance beam routines watch a video tape of him.
• Talia's story (her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident) is heartbreaking. She's a good dancer, but her routine is kind of NBA cheerleader-ish.
• Whoa, I totally fell for Nigel's "I'm sorry...to disagree with Tyce" fakeout. He shouldn't try to dupe widows. That's not nice. The poor girl has been through enough.

On to Memphis:

• Lil C!!!!!!!! I guess having him on the judging panel for the second hour is our consolation prize for having to listening to Tyce for the first hour.
• Police officer Marico's Memphis Jookin' (Ok, that can't be how you spell it...sweet goodness, I just looked it up and that is how you spell it!) is pretty buck, to borrow a term from Lil C. (I so can't speak hip hop.)
• Holy cow, this is quite an intellectual conversation we're having about jookin' here. I'm not really following it, but I appreciate it. Lil C always elevates the proceedings.
• Wow, look at that: Lil C just gave a weak performer constructive criticism (suggesting a dance style he should try) instead of just saying that he was "b-AAAA-aaaa-AAA-aaaaaaad" and ruthlessly insulting him.
• Is it just me or have we had to watch a lot more of the bad/ridiculous performers tonight that we did last week? I'm so over it. Let's just watch the good ones please.
• Ok, this dude just lost all my respect: He doesn't want to stick around to hear what Lil C has to say!
• Argh, now we're watching a montage of bad auditions from a variety of cities! I said I wanted to see good dancers!
• Caitlin, the sister of Purple Shorts (Megan, I think) from Miami, is here! That's cool. And Caitlin is awesome. She has gorgeous, Nastia Liukin-esque flexibility and extension. And, wow, she's only been dancing for 5 years (but she did gymnasts before that). Goodness, she's had hip reconstruction surgery! (I bet she has gymnasts to thank for that.)
• Anna's a winner too. She displays some very creative movement and positions. It's looking like it's going to be hard to pick the Top 20--I think we've already seen at least 20 great dancers, and there are still plenty of auditions left.
• Travis, the son of a football coach, is cute. He has gorgeous facial bone structure. Aww, the poor kid got teased a lot. ...Well, wait, was he wearing shorts with one leg that is longer than the other one when the teasing occurred? Because that is kind of silly.
• Oops, I don't remember this Evan kid at all.
• Ryan (to his little brother, Evan): "My whole life I've been waiting for you to grow up so we could be best friends."
• Boy are they pushing Glee hard tonight.
• More twins! These girls (Lydia and Lauren) are actually good though.
• I loved the look on Lil C's face while Ryan was performing. He was like, "I can't believe I'm watching a guy tap dance with a whoopee cushion." It was exactly like how my face looked during that routine too. Oh, but then Lil C goes and says the routine was delightful! That did not look like an "I'm delighted" face to me at all ;-)
• Previews for tomorrow: I was wondering when "Sex" was going to show up. There should be a rule that you can only try out for three cycles (without making it to Vegas) and then you're banned forever.

I began the blog to complain about one judge, but I'm going to conclude it by raving about another: I adore Lil C. His critiques are intelligent and nontheatrical, and that's just so nice.

I'm excited to see Mia tomorrow; she's always good for some weirdness and some brutal honesty. And, heaven help me, I think I'm even kind of excited to see Adam Shankman. (See what happens when this show goes away for such a long time? I even start to miss the aspects of it that annoy me.)

Glee: A Joyful Noise

Glee:

"Pilot"

Glee, a new show that is on FOX's fall schedule, debuted its pilot episode this spring to give everyone a sneak peak. After seeing many raves from critics, I decided to give the show a look. I thought the pilot was pretty good, though I'm not sure that I was as infatuated as many of the critics seemed to be. The show does display a good deal of promise, and I'll definitely watch future episodes.

Ok, I'll admit it, the real reason I watched Glee was to see Charlie from Kyle XY acting like a half-decent person. Boy, is he cute when he's not cheating on Amanda with girls who put out...

The aspect of Glee that I liked best was its witty banter (examples of which are coming up in the highlight list). The aspect I liked least about Glee was its harping on the importance of living your life passionately and following your dreams--a moral that was not-so-subtly reinforced with the big "Don't Stop Believing" production number. (As far as I'm concerned, bring on more irreverent selections like "Rehab" and fewer earnest ones like "Don't Stop Believing" and "You're the One that I Want.") The didactic nature of it all was getting kinda old.

My suggestion for future episodes would be that they make sure that the other members of the glee club are featured more in the musical numbers. The more Finn/Rachel duets we watch, the more Glee starts looking like High School Musical. And that's not quite the goal the show should be aiming for.

Highlights and my observations:

• Aww, they threw the kid with the jacket from the newest Marc Jacobs collection in the trash. That's not cool.
• Hey, look, it's Elle's dad from Heroes. He's so much better in this. (Big shocker there.)
• Will's wife won't let him have $60 a month? Who is she, Kate Gosselin? (Sorry, couldn't help that one.)
• I love this "Mr. Cellophane" kid (Kurt).
• They do have kids with some serious pipes at this school. It shouldn't be too hard to revive glee club.
• Lol, about Rachel "not knowing" which of her two gay dads is her biological father.
• Oh, ok, they just have these five kids. The choreography's not quite there, but at least they sound good. Why does glee club even need choreo anyway?
• Rachel: "Mr. Schuester, do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to give the lead solo in 'Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat' to a boy in a wheelchair?"
• Principal Figgins: "What is it with you and this club? You've got only five kids, and one of them's a cripple!"
• Ohh, who is this lady playing Schuester's wife? She looks familiar. Ok, I looked it up and she was on Heroes (playing Claire' biological mother), so that would explain the animosity that I instantly felt towards her.
• Mrs. Schuester: "But, Will, I'm on my feet four hours a day, three times a week here!"
• Sandy: "It wasn't easy though, being dismissed--and for what I was accused of! My long distance girlfriend in Cleveland nearly broke up with me. ...Oh, God, don't you love a good monkey?"
• Lol, drug-dealing Sandy is taking a page out of Walter White's playbook.
• Sue (cheerleading coach): "High school is a caste system. Kids fall into certain slots. Your jocks, your popular kids: penthouse. The invisibles and the kids who play live action druids and trolls out in the forest: bottom floor."
  Will: "And where to the glee kids fall?"
  Sue: "Sub-basement."
• Ken (football coach): "I can't see any of my guys joining glee club. Last month, they held down one of their teammates and shaved off his eyebrows, just because he watches Grey's Anatomy."
• The football players signed up someone named "Butt Lunch" on the glee club sign-up sheet.
• Will: "You'll get kicked out of school. You'll lose your football scholarship."

  Finn: "Wait, I have a football scholarship? To where?"
• Aww, poor Finn. Framed and backmailed into joining the glee club.
• Why did Will marry this woman? I am at a complete loss.
• Ah, so he was the high school "golden boy" and she was head cheerleader. Even so, that is no explanation/excuse for marrying this psycho woman.
• Finn lying to his teammate, saying that his mom had prostate surgery.
• I love the other school's glee club singing "Rehab." They're not doing a great job of lip-syncing though.
• Whoa, Finn's one teammate (the one who looked up that chicks don't have prostates) looks like he's at least 30. Or 40...
• Um, is crazy wife really pregnant or is this just her way to get him to quit the teaching job?
• Kurt: "You nailed all my lawn furniture to my roof."
• Rachel didn't out do herself with this choreography. It frankly looks like there's no choreo going on at all.
• I think they're going to need to better utilize the four other members of this group if they're going to win Nationals.
• The previews for the episodes coming up in the fall made them look better than this pilot.

(photo: FOX.com)

SYTYCD: Let's Get It Started!

So You Think You Can Dance: "Auditions #1 and #2"

So You Think You Can Dance is back! YEEEEEeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!! Season 5!!! I'm so excited! Wohoo!

It's hard to believe that it's been more than 9 months since I last heard Mary Murphy scream. Can't say I've missed that, but I'll deal with it if that's the price I have to pay for watching the best dancing show on TV.

I don't think I usually blog about the first round of auditions because they're so all over the place, but I'm so excited that I'm going to try it anyway. The season kicked off with coverage from the New York (Brooklyn) and Denver auditions.

The play-by-play:

• Wow, the Brooklyn people got Cat to dance!
• Oh, screw this! We're only five minutes into the season and Napoleon and Tabitha are back already. Boooooo. I was hoping they'd be gone by now. I knew that hope was futile, but I maintained it anyway.
• Whoa, Gabi Rojas grew up in the circus and she has rheumatoid arthritis! There's a story.
• Shut up, Napoleon! It is not necessary for you to go, "Whoooooooaaaa!" every time anyone does anything.
• Only 8 minutes in and we've already got a virtual lock for the Top 20 (Gabi Rojas).
• Only 8 minutes in and we've already heard our first Mary Murphy scream.
• These Mutation guys are something. Lol, one of their names is Hobgoblin! (The other's name is Storyboard, fyi.) These guys have made up all kinds of words. Oh dear, Hobgoblin's shoulder flexibility is beyond creepy! Is that something you're born with, or can anyone learn that?
• Gotta love Mutation scaring the judges though.
• I'd love to see the Mutation boys do some choreography too ;-)
• I'm thinking that Peter must be a contender if they already sent a camera crew into his house to meet his family. He is pretty cool. You don't see a lot of buff tappers... And he's from Philly, so that's awesome. And it would be cool to have a tapper in the Top 20.
• Tiffiany is quite amazing considering her disability. Nigel is correct; she is very inspirational.
• Fianna! My favorite part of auditions is seeing people from other seasons return.
• Maksim's not bad. Oh, but the winks need to go. And I want more ballroom boys in the Top 20 this season. There was only one last season (and he was the first one eliminated) and that was ridiculous.
• Nobuya is actually not bad. After that build-up, I was expecting him to be horrendous.
• Lol, Nobuya is not always locking as tight as Nigel would like.
• Japanese locking is so hot right now... (according to Napoleon)
• Lauren from season 3!
• Aww, Lauren's choreo brought about the downfall of the Mutants.
• Cat screaming with Nobuya was so cute. Cat is absolutely the best reality show host there is.
• Igor and Nina! These two are fantastic. That crouching spin thing that she does is phenomenal. (I think Mary just called it a "pot stir"... That's good to know.)
• I bet Chimezie ("Cha-MEE-zee") will make the Top 20 just so I have to spell that name every week. Actually, it's not that complicated; I can handle it.
• Oh, eew, don't let Napoleon "get [his] hands on you," Chimezie! No good will come of that.
• Oh no! Nina with the fabulous pot stir didn't get a ticket to Vegas!
• Sonya!! Now we're talking.
• I like Kayla. She was dancing to "Blackbird" and there was definitely a bird-like quality to it. And her family's really sweet.
• Guess what? Sonya's a better judge that Napoleon and Tabitha combined.
• Lol, Sonya said that watching the one girl dance made her feel like she feels when she thinks about having children? What?
• Lol, the "It's Raining Men" music queue when the same-sex ballroom dancers come on screen.
• The main problem here is that the girl is almost always the interesting part of a pair of ballroom dancers.
• I wonder what happened between Mitch and his girl partner that turned him off dancing with girls completely.
• BTW, what is with Mary's fringed vest? Please tell me that's not what you're supposed to wear when you're in Denver.
• Elias and Enoch are creeping me out a bit. But they're cute. I guess being the two youngest of 14 siblings would bond you a lot. (I wonder if all 14 kids have names that start with E.) If Elias moves on in this competition, can he handle being away from Enoch?
• NATALIE!!!! I was so hoping she'd be back! She's great. I'm glad Katee got a chance last year because she turned out to be fantastic, but I demand that Natalie be in the Top 20 this year.
• Matt's audition routine was exceptional. (He could use a little more pants, however.)

Auditions start next week for the fall cycle, kids! Good luck!

90210: Labor Pains and Meltdowns

90210:
"One Party Can Ruin Your Whole Summer"


The first season of the second incarnation of 90210 bowed out with an entertaining episode. There was a lot going on, but I liked that the episode didn't seem to bite off more than it could chew (unlike the Gossip Girl finale, IMO). This episode of 90210 well-paced and no storylines felt overdone nor shafted. It also packed an emotional punch (Adrianna's decision about the baby) and some fireworks (Naomi reaming out Annie) and some comic relief (Mr. and Mrs. Wilson on pot). The episode also laid some interesting ground work for next season. As in, can we pleeeeeeease see Annie go to jail?

I also like the episode's title, because it's so ominous ;-)

Highlights and my observations:

• Jen: "You had me at trust issues."
• Tell her, Naomi.
• Naomi: "You look really, really good. Like a model. Like a really, really short model. Or a regular model standing in the distance."
• How dare this nurse sass Navid! Doesn't she know how rich he is?
• HA HA! The entertainment at post prom is a (dorky) a cappella group. These guys are funny. And this party is pathetic.
• So, one student goes into labor and all the chaperones leave the post-prom party?
• Bet Annie's glad she and Naomi became friends again just in time for her to have to clean up Naomi's house for her.
• Really, Dixon? When Silver's across the room, you miss her? Which is why you've been standing here complaining about her for the last 15 minutes?
• Brenda was supposed to be here for the birth of Adrianna's baby? I'd forgotten that.
• Whoa, that C-section decision was made really fast. Especially since the doctors didn't seem to be paying much attention to Adrianna at all before they made that determination.
• Liam's drawing of Annie is not very flattering.
• Ok, good. Ad and the baby girl are both ok.
• Ha ha ha! Mr. Wilson forgot what Annie's name is. Yes, it was because the brownies were laced with pot, but it's funny nevertheless.
• Mr. and Mrs. Wilson are a lot funnier when they're stoned than they normally are.
• I'm guessing post prom's about to get a whole lot wilder if the a cappella group ate some of the pot brownies.
• Poor Ethan. All he gets to do on his prom night is talk about Silver and Dixon's relationship.
• Hold on. What were Dixon and Ethan doing that led to them exchanging clothes?!
• Debbie: "Should I call one or should I put on the list to call one?"
• Debbie: "The nerds had pot brownies!"
• Oh, shut up, Jen! If you're going to mooch off your little sister, you should at least not actively try to ruin her life as well.
• Brenda! Dressed like Cleopatra!
• Oh, crap, they never showed us Adrianna playing Cleopatra! I really wanted to see that!
• Is Brenda really here or is this a figment of Adrianna's anaesthetic-tainted mind? Because Brenda is acting really strangely.
• Oh dear, Jim Walsh is dying? How come no one else seems to know about this? Wouldn't Kelly know?
• Brenda: "Have you met my dragon?"
  Ok, that confirmed that this is a dream sequence.
  
• Wow, Ethan needs to dial his Silver adoration the hell down. This is not the way make the poor kid act in his last episode.
  
• No wonder Ethan leaves after this debacle. Dixon's being mean.
  
• Hey, pretty boy actually showed up to sign the father's consent form. Aww, and he said thank you to Navid. That was nice.
  
• Ha! Liam's shocked face when he found out that Jen is Naomi's sister was pretty hilarious. I'm relieved that he actually does realize that hooking up with Naomi's sister was crossing a line. I wasn't sure if that behavior is cool with bad boys or not.
  
• BTW, how old is Liam? Why does Jen sleep with so many teenage boys? (She said she already slept with Ethan...before he slept with Naomi...and they are only 16 or 17 now...so, what, Jen slept with him when he was 15 and she was like 20? Eeew. Let's not think about this too much.)
  
• Whoa, everyone's turning on Annie. And it's kind of awesome. And now she's exploding in an extremely overly dramatic fashion. There were no Emmy nominees in that scene.
  
• Brenda adopted a little Chinese girl! That's great.
  
• So, um, how weird is it that Adrianna's dream sequence included that stuff about Brenda's dad (who is apparently actually fine)? I mean, his full name was on the door to his hospital room--how would Adrianna know that? (It was somehow in her subconsciousness.)
  
• Oh, what are they trying to do to me? Now they're playing "The Funeral" by Band of Horses while Adrianna gives up her baby! I'm going to be bawling in 10 seconds.
  
• Ha ha ha, Liam is being forcibly hauled off to wilderness boot camp! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't amused by this turn of events.
  
• Annie's pulling an epic Marissa Cooper impression. (I know Marissa was drunk often, but I don't recall her drinking while driving, so I guess Annie's taking it a step further here.)
  
• OMG, what did Annie just run over? And who was in the car that pulled up behind her? (Why'd we get a close-up of the license plate? Was that supposed to mean something to me and I wasn't paying enough attention?)
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Those Schoolgirl Days of Telling Tales Are Gone

Gossip Girl:
"The Goodbye Gossip Girl"

I wouldn't be me if I didn't start this post by pointing out Gossip Girl's second season finale episode's title is very similar to the seminal "The Goodbye Girl" episode of The O.C., in which Anna moves back to Pittsburgh and Seth chases her down in the airport with Nada Surf's cover of "If You Leave" playing in the background. Unfortunately, I think that airport scene packs more of an emotional wallop than everything in this episode of Gossip Girl combined. (By the way, look who was rocking brightly colored tights years before the Gossip Girl girls ever did.)

Well, you can tell it's a Gossip Girl season finale when characters start changing their minds about important life decisions extremely quickly and often without seeming to give it much, if any, thought whatsoever. I'm not going to recap all the flighty decisions from last year's rushed finale (here's a refresher). Tonight: Dan's suddenly going to NYU (because of losing his Yale money, we can assume, but why was this second option never mentioned before?), Vanessa's suddenly going to NYU; after deciding he doesn't want anywhere near Lily, Rufus suddenly decides to marry her; Nate suddenly decides that he doesn't want to do the internship with the mayor that he supposedly decided he really wanted to do a few episodes ago; after months and months of being absolutely incapable of letting Blair in, Chuck--in the last seconds of the episode, of course--suddenly can't stop telling her he loves her; etc., etc. I understand the appeal of having surprise cliffhanger-ish developments in a finale, but there's no reason that they have to come out of nowhere in the context of the episode.

Unfortunately, my complaints don't end there. The whole "let's find out who Gossip Girl and make her pay once and for all for picking on us" storyline was soooooooo fabricated. Yes, Gossip Girl unleashed some pretty nasty comments mid-commencement. Yes, I buy that Serena, etc. would want to expose her once and for all. Yes, I buy that that would piss GG off and she'd unspool even more dirty secrets. Yes, I buy that that would piss Serena off even more and she'd still try to take GG down. Yes, I buy that GG would send everyone to meet Serena and say (something to the effect of) "Look around, Gossip Girl is all of you." But NO, I do not buy that that wouldn't make Serena and everyone else even more pissed off. Everyone didn't call Nate a whore in the middle of graduation. Everyone didn't call Serena irrelevant. Everyone didn't call Blair weak or Chuck a coward. A specific someone typed those words, and if Serena was really that worked up about it, she wouldn't have accepted "it's all of you" as an answer. And, since they were all saying how much they hated Gossip Girl and how glad they were that she wouldn't be following their lives anymore, it's even more ridiculous that they so easily (and even somewhat gratefully) accepted the fact that she'll follow them to college. And, it's even more ridiculous that Gossip Girl explained that her hurtful words of earlier in the day were an attempt to "bond" these people. I mean, what are we supposed to say? How sweet of her to insult everyone and air their dirty laundry? What a humanitarian she is? Assuming that was her intention, since when has Gossip Girl ever been this sappy? She might as well have created a Photoshop collage of graduation pictures and captioned it with the lyrics of "To Sir, With Love."

(Also: Gossip Girl didn't give them all a clean slate. A clean slate is when no one knows anything about you, not when everyone knows everything about you.)

I'm sorry. I love Gossip Girl (the show) and I love Gossip Girl (the unseen character), but this didn't make sense.

I'm going to do my list of quotations and random thoughts now so I don't launch into more complaining:

• I like the blue and green graduation robes. That's so much more visually interesting than basic black ones.
• Serena's mug shot was on the cover of the New York Post? Is she really that big of a deal?
• Oh, good! Serena did tell Blair that Chuck said he loves her.
• I liked Blair stopping to give the paparazzi a couple shots of her.
• Um, isn't it creepy for Vanessa to be secretly filming her ex-boyfriend from afar?
• Noooooooooooo, please don't start the Nate and Vanessa thing again. Nooooooooo.
• Nooooooooooooo, Vanessa's going to NYU! Noooooooooooooooooooooooo. She needs to move far, far away!
• Wow, that's quite a hoochy dress that Jenny wore to her brother's graduation.
• Izzy: "What would high school be without hierarchy?"
  Jenny: "Bearable? A nice place to spend time?"
  
• Blair: "I thought we were matching our headbands under our graduation caps!"
  
• Ha ha ha, Dan's name was left out of the program. A fitting end to Dan's time in St. Jude's.
  
• Wow, leave it to Chuck to wear an orangey pink shirt and tie with his bright blue graduation robe.
  
• Don't they at least play "Pomp and Circumstance" for these kids? Geez, what kind of a half-assed ceremony is this?
  
• Why is Serena not wearing her graduation cap? She just has her tassel clipped into her hair!!! How is that allowed?! If you tried that crap at my high school graduation, you would have gotten kicked out of the ceremony!
  
• Gossip Girl dubs Nate the "class whore." Amen to that.
  
• Chuck is not a coward--just look at that color combination he's wearing!
  
• Gossip Girl: "And as for Serena van der Woodsen, after today you are officially irrelevant."
  
• Why are we still watching Rufus and Lily?!?! No one cares! And it's physically painful.
  
• Whoa, when I agreed that Nate was the class whore, I wasn't thinking about how he took money for sleeping with Catherine. I was just thinking that he tends to get around.
  
• Nice try with the "Jonathan is Gossip Girl" fakeout. I didn't buy it. Frankly, I knew he wasn't that interesting. And he's only been around for a few months.
  
• And, dude, if it was that easy to figure out who Gossip Girl was, why didn't anyone do that earlier? That was like the calling-Georgina's-parents-and-having-them-send-her-to-military-school ridiculously easy solution of the year.
  
• Ok. Jonathan isn't GG, he just hacked into her server. That seems more likely. That's just boring enough to sound like what I would expect from Jonathan.
  
• Blatant allusion to The O.C.'s "The Goodbye Girl"! Dan used the phrase "sage wisdom," which is what Seth always said Anna possessed. That was no coincidence.
  
• Dan's going to NYU (and living in the dorms) too? Did we know that officially? So Serena is the only one who is going away?
  
• Lily goes through Chuck's room? That's creepy.
  
• Wow, I think Vanessa's wearing all the colors in the world. At least all the ugly ones.
  
• Dan: "Was she just about to tell me she loved me?"
  
• Gossip Girl knows about Blair and Chuck's uncle on New Year's! Oh nooooooooooooooo. I was wondering when that was going to come up and bite us in the ass.
  
• When was Dan is jail? Oh, that time he and Chuck got arrested for something. Punching people, I think? Geez, Gossip Girl deserves a medal for keeping all of this stuff straight.
  
• Um, sorry Blair, but Chuck sleeping with Vanessa is not the same thing as you sleeping with his uncle. At all.
  
• Well, Blair sure set herself up for another rejection there...
  
• Are we supposed to be happy that Lily has landed her fifth husband?
  
• Who cares if some of these people never talk to you again, Serena? Most of them are seriously horrendous human beings. You'll be better off without them.
  
• Sorry to ruin Blair's cautionary tale, but Anne Boleyn certainly did not think "only with her heart." She was a very calculating schemer, not unlike Miss Waldorf. (And I admit that while being a huge fan of both Anne and Elizabeth I.) It's time for Blair to watch some more of The Tudors and brush up on her British history. She can borrow Serena's DVDs. (S thinks Henry Cavill is hot.)
  
• Eric's dreamed about the waffle maker? That boy leads such a sad life.
  
• Ha ha, Serena should put her mug shot on the wall at Brown. That would be hilarious.
  
• Vanessa: "Humphrey, where's you mind?" (Well, if that isn't the million dollar question.)
  
• Dan: "I miss high school. ...Even Chuck Bass, who would get so close to talk."
  
• Is that Dan's secret brother? I don't think his name was Scott. I guess he's lying about that. It seems like lots of people lie to Dan about their real names when they meet him.
  
• Jenny needs that sparkly headband to smush that mess of a hairdo down a little.
  
• Jenny: "Ok, so, starting next year, no more headbands."
  
• Gosh, I hope Jenny doesn't make all the girls at Constance wear dark eyeliner and bleach their hair.
  
• Georgie's going to NYU too? Ha ha, and she's requesting Blair as a roommate. Wouldn't NYU have to clear that with Blair? Of course they wouldn't; it's a TV show.
  
• Carter found Serena's father? She was looking for him in Santorini? I thought she was just getting drunk and marrying other people's boyfriends.
  
• Why would anyone ever get Carter to help them with anything?
  

Now as for good old Chuck and Blair:

So, on graduation night, Chuck (again) just couldn't bring himself to say "I love you." Now, after a week of not being able to escape thinking about Blair, he can say it 5 times in a row. That's all very sweet, but why? What changed? From what I can tell, nothing. Sure, he felt haunted by her presence all week, but guess what--she had actually been present in his life all year and that never seemed to help.

All along, Chuck didn't want to tell Blair he loved her, because he was afraid he'd hurt her. So it seems to me that in order for him to feel like he could tell her he loves her, he would have had to come to the conclusion somehow that he was ready to be her boyfriend and he was not going to hurt her. He had serious personal issues that had to be worked through and we didn't see him do that. Instead of his speech about going all over Europe to buy Blair's favorite things, why couldn't he say something to the effect of: "I've loved you for years. I never felt like I could tell you though because I thought that if we were together, I would just find one way after another to let you down. I've continually pushed you away, because I thought you would be so much better off without me. But, I've realized something. No matter what I do, you still stand by me. And no matter what you do, I still love you and all I want is to make you happy. I know now that this can work because I will make it work. I'll do whatever it takes to be who you need me to be, because I love you." Or something. It doesn't have to be that.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't want Chuck and Blair to finally be together (I've wanted that for a long, long time), it's just that if we've dragged this God-foresaken storyline out for this long, we might as well end it correctly. They invented so many fake, forced reasons to keep Blair and Chuck apart, and when they finally got them together, they didn't bother to resolve any of them.

I don't know. Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe if I watch it again, I'll realize that this episode wasn't as problematic as I thought it was upon my initial viewing. Maybe I'll be able to focus on the fashion and the quips and just seeing the characters I love and learn to not worry about the logic.

This post is approaching Illiad length, but since I thought of it, I can't help but do it:

Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone, but in my mind, I know they will still live on and on. But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume? It isn't easy, but I'll try. If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters that would soar a thousand feet high, "To Sir, with Love."

The time has come for closing books, and long last looks must end, and as I leave, I know that I am leaving my best friend, a friend who taught me right from wrong and weak from strong, that's a lot to learn. What, what can I give you in return? If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start, but I would rather you let me give my heart, to Sir, with love.

(photos: cwtv.com)

My Take on Pilot Season: Returning (and Not Returning) Shows

Yeaaaaaa to NBC for renewing Chuck!!! If only the network would please now order more than 13 episodes and bring it back before mid-season. (Ugh, I just noticed that Chuck's official NBC Web site now says that Chuck will return in March 2010. That's horrendous.) Seriously, we have to sit though another painful cycle of Heroes before our weary eyes will again behold the sheer awesomeness that is Chuck? That's just mean.

Yeaaaaaa to FOX for renewing Dollhouse!!! I didn't see that one coming at all. After years of watching quirky and/or complicated show after quirky and/or complicated show get summarily dismissed by virtually every network, it just seemed so bizarre that this one didn't get the heave-ho too. Good for FOX for taking a chance on it. At the very least, Dollhouse will have a small but devoted fanbase next season, which is more than some new shows will garner. Perhaps Dollhouse will even meet with some increased commercial success. The fact that the show was steadily increasing in quality after a lackluster beginning should help. I just hope that Mellie and Victor will get to come back.

After those two announcements, I began to develop the sinking feeling that Upfronts and pilot season were going far too well, and sure enough:

Major boooooooooooooooooooooo to ABC for cancelling Samantha Who? There is NO REASON why this show needed to be canceled. Sure, its audience wasn't great when ABC began jerking it all around the schedule and forcing it into abrupt hiatuses. What show's ratings would survive that kind of cruel Men In Trees-esque treatment? What makes the cancellations more upsetting is that Sam Who? is not really a niche-based show. It had fairly broad appeal, which it demonstrated when it pulled some big numbers leading out of Dancing With the Stars. Christina Applegate is one of the most likable women on TV and the supporting cast was hilarious. The only reason this show had issues was that ABC didn't seem to know what to do with it, which is astounding, because all they had to do was leave it on after DWTS. There's no need to try to make Surviving Suburbia happen at the expense of Sam Who? Any network that airs According to Jim for eight seasons but cancels quality comedies like Sam Who? after two (abridged) seasons, needs to do some serious atoning.

(photos: NBC.com; ABC.com)

Greek: The KTs Get Bust-ed

Greek: "Guilty Treasures"

The highlight of this episode of Greek was that it featured some quality Kappa Tau hijinks. I loved how individual KTs would pop into random scenes featuring other characters to return some of the stolen items they found in their basement. It was nice to see a little more of Wade and Heath for a change too. And Beav was exceptional as always.

And props to Greek for fitting Dale, Calvin, Max, Evan, Beaver, Heath, Wade, Fisher, etc. all into this episode! When your supporting cast is this much fun, you should utilize it.

Quotations and my thoughts:

• Oh, thank goodness, Dale is in this episode.
• Rusty: "She had the swordfish, which is known to contain high levels of mercury, but..."
• Beav: "Rusty, can you make oxygen?"
• Cappie: "We didn't do this. Our KT alumni did. See, once upon a time, this fraternity was full of kleptos."
  Heath (to Beav): "That's people who steal things."
  Beav: "I know! ...What's an alumni?"
• Cappie: "While I think we all enjoy this verbal game of wits, I think we're ignoring one important fact here: I saw swords down there!"
• Fisher!
• Ash, you're going to lose your cute new boy if you insist on hiding the relationship.
• Jordan's relationship with Andy is the most important thing here? Really?
• Cappie (when Evan walks in): "Hey, it's the Abercrombie lady. You know what, we're all set on twill shorts, but thanks."
  Evan: "We want our bust. Come on, give it up."
  Cappie: "Our bust... Too easy. Pass!"
• Cappie: "You know, too bad I didn't hit him with a paddle. That's what we do to each other's pledges, right?"
• Max: "Do you know how many times I've tried to make a real woman out of a doll?"
• How many times have Max and Casey gone to the dinosaur museum? Lol.
• Calvin and Ashleigh! Together! Who knew they still hang out?
• Why wouldn't Dr. Broom be a fan of Max? How could you not be?
• Heath returning the golden chicken (?) to the restaurant and then filling some water glasses for the heck of it was great. Heath was being so funny, I couldn't even pay attention to Max and Casey's conversation.
• Jordan: "Open up, Rus! It's Uncle Jordan."
• Casey: "Wow, way to go, Sienna Miller."
• Ahh! Dale has lipstick all over his face! This Sheila thing is getting serious.
• Ashleigh made Fisher take her to Gentlemen's Choice (on lesbian night) for their first date? Oh, Ash...
• Fisher: "When I first met you, you know, I kind of imagined us doing the whole going-out thing."

  Ashleigh: "I imagined you naked."
• Casey: "My superpower is reading women and their wardrobes and knowing everything about them which tells me exactly how to get what I want."

  Max: "That's kind of like Emma Frost."

  Casey: "...Totally."
• Has Casey always been an English major? Or is that a post-Evan/post-pre law thing?
• Whoa, those security guards got on the scene fast!
• Casey: "Miss Jay can't even get that, and the lipstick's named after him."
• Ash: "That's how I feel about Fisher."

  Calvin: "That's how I feel about Fisher too."
• Ash: "Aww, that girl has Fisher's haircut."
• How did Beaver get into Mr. Broom's exclusive party?! With a (pilfered) gramophone! Ha ha ha!
• Max told Mr. Broom to take two of the tainted chicken kabobs.
• Max has to leave for this research thing tomorrow?! That's a little fast.
• Well, it was classy of Evan to not turn in the KTs. It's about time he did something classy.
• Aww, poor Wade is stuck in the handcuffs.
• Good riddance, Andy-licious. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
• Rusty: "I kissed Jordan."

  Cappie: "Who? Michael Jordan? Jordan Knight? Jordan Catalano? Don't tell me you kissed Andy's Jordan!"

  Rusty: "I wish I kissed Michael Jordan."
• Lol, I had to Google Jordan Catalano to determine that Cappie was making a reference to My So-Called Life (that show was a little before my time). Nicely done, Cappie.
• Casey: "Watch out for soccer hooligans." (Actually, since he's going to Oxford, she should probably warn him to watch out for Daniel Faraday and Eloise Hawking, etc. Max does not need to get mixed up with those crazy people.)
• Uh oh, now we've got two sad Cartwrights again.
• So, we all know, of course, that Casey and Cappie (while not paying any attention to each other for the past several episodes) will suddenly begin to be drawn closer and closer and closer and then kiss--or almost kiss--right when Max returns in a month.

90210: Backlot Prom

90210:

"Zero Tolerance"

I haven't really blogged about 90210 since the infamous bowling montage of '08, but I have been watching every episode and I guess I should be embarrassed to admit that. I wanted, however, to weigh in on the show again now because it has actually turned out to be quite enjoyable lately.

I'd attribute the vast improvement to: more screen time for Adrianna (or "Bangs" as I fondly call her) and Navid, who have been awesome; less screen time for the Annie/Ethan/Naomi love triangle and subsequent fallout, which was insufferable; Silver's bipolar disorder storyline, which made her more sympathetic and less grating and showed that Dixon is one nice fellow; and Ryan Matthews occasionally acting like he doesn't have a stick up his butt. I've even been enjoying Naomi lately, specifically when she moved in with the Wilsons and was terrorizing everybody (especially Dixon).

Also, the dialogue has gotten a lot better. One scene in particular that sticks out in my mind took place a few episodes ago when most of the characters were holding simultaneous phone conversations about Silver making the sex tape and what kind of drugs she must be on. That scene was so well-written, well-acted, and well-edited that it was reminiscent of classic The O.C.

The show's lingering issues are that Ethan's character is still not interesting even when he's having a one-fifth life crisis (which will be remedied when they kick the poor kid to the curb completely next season) and that Annie is still all kinds of annoying. How are we going to remedy the Annie situation, folks? I think Liam might be on to something--if Annie turns into an unapologetic bad girl, she'll be a lot easy to take than she is as an annoying "nice" girl.

Now on to the prom:

• I hope Annie's getting a Chanel dress too for doing that silly anti-post prom party video. (Edit: Upon seeing the dress, I've decided that it was not worth it.)
• Liam is a major jerk, but he sure can draw one nice-looking fish.
• Naomi really wants to go to the prom with Liam? That honestly sounds like a painful experience.
• Silver already looks tanner than usual, I'm not sure she needs more spray tanning.
• This health teacher guy is pretty cool. Maybe Kelly should hook up with him.
• No, Annie, it hasn't occurred to anyone that you're "just a nice person."
• I do like Annie's shirt. That's the nicest thing I've had to say about her in a long time.
• Dixon's grin and then pleading face cracked me up when he and Silver were coaxing Ethan to go to the prom.
• Yeah, the pink poofy dress is not Silver at all. It's very Gwyneth Paltrow at the 1999 Oscars.
• Jen: "Anyway, how hilarious is it to wear couture to the sophomore prom!"
• If Jen was using all of Naomi's money to pay for her stuff, she could have at least bought a little less stuff.
• Jen and B. Sheep Chambers from Greek should start a support group for older siblings who mooch of their younger siblings. Or maybe Naomi and Evan should start one for the younger siblings.
• Silver: "Everyone's going to be staring at me!"
  Adriana: "Not if you walk by me. Hello, eight months pregnant!"
• Why is there paparazzi at the sophomore prom? Who wants to look at those pictures? It's not like you can sell those to US Weekly or something.
• Nice choice of a prom dress by Naomi. Emerald green gowns are awesome.
• Navid: "You know, there's a difference between false labor pains and fake labor pains."
• Annie's date: "[I guess you weren't nominated] because you're new."

  Dixon: "Hey! I'm nominated for prom king!"
• Ha ha, Annie's date told her off. I applaud when anyone tells Annie off.
• Principal Wilson needed to make his post prom party announcement in the middle of a song?
• Jen: "I think academics are terribly sexy. And I don't just mean teachers. When I was at Yale, I briefly dated someone in the registrar's office."
• If Yale took Jen, the "narcissist with no moral compass," they certainly could have taken Blair Waldorf. Apparently stealing term papers is ok, but spreading gossip about teachers is not.
• Wait, can Silver win prom queen even though she doesn't go to this school anymore?
• Does everyone at West Beverly really like Silver? I never got the vibe that she was all that well-liked before the breakdown, what with her mean blog and all.
• Oh, Silver's making friends now--calling people who like the prom "weird, zombie, prom-loving losers."
• That was a weird moment there when Silver made fun of spray-tanning and they cut straight to Annie's reaction. Because few people spray tan as much as Annie...
• Ugh, I hate it when Dixon acts mopey. It's almost as bad as when Annie acts...anyway at all.
• Gasp! Jen's married to someone named Olivier!
• A black orchid corsage? I've never even heard of a black orchid.
• Aww, Liam does actually like Naomi? I did not see that one coming...
• Are they suddenly edging toward a Mr. Wilson/Kelly romance? Because I've got a vibe from the two of them all episode. I'm hoping it was not intentional.
• Whoa, I thought Navid got over wanting to beat up the pretty boy who knocked up Ad since that story line disappeared for 30 minutes, but apparently he did not get over it. Navid and Ad have been kind of MIA during this prom. Booooo. The poor girl had to go into labor to get herself some screen time!
• Who turned on the snow machine over a street set that no one is shooting on? That seems like a waste of money.

(photos: cwtv.com)

Big Bang Theory: Polar Express

The Big Bang Theory:

"The Monopolar Expedition"

The Big Bang Theory is definitely the show I don't watch that I most wish I did. Unfortunately, due to a cruel twist of fate, the programming PTB put this show up in the same time slot as three of my absolute favorite shows--Gossip Girl, Chuck and Greek--as well as another show--Dancing with the Stars--that I have to monitor because of my allegiance to Shawn Johnson. I don't have enough eyes or VCRs to handle 5 shows at once. So, most regrettably, Big Bang Theory has fallen by the wayside.

It is my goal to catch up on as many TBBT reruns this summer as I can. (Impressive goals I have, huh?) And, since Chuck bowed out a little early with it's (fabulous) season finale, I now have the capability of checking in on TBBT now.

I caught last week's episode ("The Classified Materials Turbulence") and thoroughly enjoyed it. Admittedly, I am not a big fan of bathroom humor. When I was in London a few years ago, we saw several plays that absolutely relied on bathroom humor, and I always seemed like the one person who was not loving it. In particular, one (really quite good) production of The Hypochondriac reached its climax with a rousing musical number about anuses. Everyone else in the theatre was basically beside themselves with hilarity, and I was like, "Just make it stop." With that background knowledge, you now know that it is meaningful that even I thought Harold's space-toilet-gone-awry and the potty jokes it inspired were pretty darn funny. (My favorite line was Raj's "You're right. It's a very important scientific breakthrough for two reasons: number one...and number two.")

Last night's season finale ("The Monopolar Expedition") was pretty darn amusing as well. I'd totally sign up to spend three months at the North Pole with Sheldon. Does that make me crazy?

The problem with blogging TBBT is that I found myself trying to write down virtually every line everyone was saying. It got a little ridiculous, but here's the highlight list:

• Sheldon fooling Leonard into thinking he made a mistake with his science.
• Sheldon: "The entire family's fascinated by what time it is and whether people know it."
• Leonard: "He offered to send you to the North Pole?"
  Sheldon: "Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said, 'Frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would.'"
• Sheldon: "I'm a theoretical physicist, a career I chose in no small part because it's indoors!"
• Sheldon: "...I'll be the scientist who confirms String Theory. People will write books about me. Third-graders will create macaroni art dioramas depicting things from my life!"
• Sheldon's friends' glee when he says he tentatively accepted the invitation to join the North Pole expedition.
• Sheldon: "Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache."
• Raj: "But if we're part of the team that confirms String Theory, we could drink for free at any bar in any town with a university that has a strong science program!"
• Harold: "I could also be the engineer of the crossbow that kills Sheldon."
• Sheldon's reaction to Penny knocking on the door back at him.
• Leonard: "Did she seem upset to you?"
  Sheldon: "No. Did she seem upset to you?"
  Leonard: "No."
  Sheldon: "Oh, good. I got it right. Are you upset?"
  Leonard: "A little bit."
  Sheldon: "Two for two! I'm on fire."
• Leonard, Raj and Harold trying to use their "tools" in the freezer.
• Raj's mom: "If the other guys jumped into the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you follow them?"

  Raj: "If you were standing behind me nagging, I might."
• The Slanket has seriously got to be the product most used as a comedic prop on TV these days.
• Sheldon: "I know you're concerned about disappointing me, but I want you to take comfort in the knowledge that my expectations of you are very low."
• How did Harold and Raj talk their parents into letting them go?
• They really shouldn't have taught Sheldon how to make jokes. He's getting too good at it.
• So will the boys really confirm String Theory? That would be a major game-changer. That one would not only change the course of the show but also the course of the real world, right? Awesome.

(photo: CBS)

Gossip Girl: Lily of the Valley & Prom Queen B

Gossip Girl:

"Valley Girls"

A couple days before the well-hyped Lily (Rhodes) van der Woodsen (Bass) flashback backdoor pilot aired, rumors swirled that The CW isn't planning on putting the Lily spin-off on its fall schedule after all, and will instead opt to pick up Beautiful Life (featuring The O.C.'s Mischa Barton), the Melrose Place update (because why come up with a new idea when you can remake an old one?) and Vampire Diaries (to capitalize on the Twilight hysteria) and to renew Privileged (which, ironically, is one the only shows I've ever watched that I've actually called on the network to cancel). After watching Lily's flashback take over this episode of Gossip Girl, I can say that--if the rumors are true--not picking up the Lily spin-off is one of the few programming decisions The CW has made that I agree with.

I once wondered if Josh Schwartz could ever create a show that I wouldn't like, and now we have our answer. The Lily '80s flashback was just painful. It lacked the wit and charisma that a Josh Schwartz show typically thrives on. The characters (even the ones we already knew) were underdeveloped and stereotypical. The dialogue was unnatural and sometimes just bizarre. The whole thing was boring. And Lily was possibly even more annoying as a teenager than she is now (and that is a major feat).

Oh, and you know the flashback was bad if I'm trashing it even though it included several cast members whom I already love or at least like: Ryan Hansen (my beloved Dick Casablancas from Veronica Mars), Krysten Ritter (a veteran of Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, who is currently so much better in Breaking Bad), Andrew McCarthy (who will always be Larry from Weekend at Bernie's to me), and Cynthia Watros from Lost.

But the worst part of the whole Lily flashback was that it stole precious screen time from the Gossip Girl characters that we love! (Except for Vanessa--Lily can have all of Vanessa's screentime as far as I'm concerned.) Even though the Gossip Girlers were just navigating the world of prom, which was certainly not earth-shattering by any means, I just wanted to watch them!

Highlights, lowlights and quotes:

• Blair: "Serena's been in jail for 4 hours! That's longer than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan combined!"
• Chuck: "Please, she's a socialite accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they're working her over with a phone book."
• Rufus still sucks. He tells Dan and Jenny that one of their best friends was just arrested at the behest of her mother, and when they ask for more information, he just yells at them to not get involved. That's helpful.
• Lily's parents had a tumultuous divorce? Then why did Cece still have her husband's suits in her house at the Hamptons? (Remember, Dan had to borrow Serena's grandpa's jacket to go to the White Party.)
• Lily's dad: "Punishing loved ones just comes much easier to some people."
• We've established that in Margaret Colin and John Shea, Blair has the coolest parents ever. Lily has some cool ones too: Larry from Weekend at Bernie's and Libby from Lost. Except Lily's parents are both acting like jerks. Not that I feel too badly for her; she was just as annoying in the '80s as she is now.
• It's only happened twice, but I'm already sick of transitioning in and out from the flashbacks. The stupid, reflective look on Lily's face as she reminisces makes me gag.
• Ha ha, Blair's looking at the scrapbook (that she supposedly hasn't looked at since she was a child).
• Blair: "Just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked at since I was an early adolescent!"
• Ha ha, is Chuck sabotaging Nate and Blair's dream prom? Because that's funny.
• Lily thinks Cece's toxic? Cece? Cece's probably the least toxic woman in this whole family.
• Limited editions of the Gossip Girl books are on sale that come with posters of the cast! Wow, I'm actually kind of excited about that; what am I, 12-years-old?
• Wow, young Lily, that was an overreaction (in the immortal words of Andy Bernard)! She didn't have to yell at the kid just for bumping into her.
• My sister: "This waiter dude is trying really hard to be Ryan Lafferty."
• Dan: "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man."
• Ahh! Scary! Poor Little J was just hanging out in her room when all of a sudden the garage door wall is thrown open by Dan, who is wearing only a t-shirt and purple boxers! Which is especially odd, because in the scene immediately proceeding that one, he was fully clothed while talking to Lily on the phone. So, he apparently stripped down to go talk to his little sister. Weirdo!
• Dan: "Hey, I think I need a dress for prom."
  Jenny: "Ok, but you're going to have to wear your own shoes."
• Good Lord, young Lily is annoying! "You're totally falling in love with me right now." SHUT UP! Trust me, no one is falling in love with you! Only Rufus is stupid enough to do that, and he doesn't come along for a couple more years.
• Oh, thank God, it's Ryan Hansen (who is rocking quite the hairdo)! He's about the only one who can save this horrendous flashback, but it's a tall order.
• Blair: "I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head, and tonight no effort required!"
• Blair: "We don't do prom queen. That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."
• Serena's white nail polish really held up in prison! It still looks flawless.
• Can we see a flashback into Eleanor's past now? Because I guarantee it would be a hell of a lot more interesting than this.
• Kind of cliche '80s music they're using here. It's not bad; it's just exactly what everyone would think of when they think '80s music: "I Melt With You," "The Safety Dance," etc.
• Blair: "Well, I just spent 10 seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
• Is that dress supposed to be Jenny's? Because that might explain why Serena's boobs are popping out of it, but I'm not really sure her boobs would have ever fit in Jenny's dress in the first place. That really is just supposed to be one of Jenny's dresses--Little J didn't just sew that one up in a half hour, right? Because not even Jenny can sew that fast.
• Wow, everyone else must have gotten tired of Lily's "remembering face" too, because now they're not using any kind of transitions from past to present at all.
• Hey, shocker, the young Mr. van der Woodsen is a jerk.
• The part where Owen throws Lily's "Your falling in love with me," line back at her would have been funny if the whole thing (namely the acting in this scene) wasn't so painful.
• Eew, Carol slept with Lily's future husband? Yuck.
• Can we please get back to Blair and Chuck's scintillating conversation about the prom queen?
• Nice punch, Ryan Hansen! He learned that move during the battles between Logan's rich kids and Weevil's motorcycle gang in Veronica Mars season 2.
• Blair: "This is my moment! I own prom!"
• Dan: "Who even voted for her?"

  Chuck: "Me. About 150 times."
• Oh. My. God. Chuck's "sabotage" turned out to be him ensuring that Blair's prom night was perfect and just like her scrapbook. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Chuck!!!
• Cece would rather have twenty Dan Humphreys from Brooklyn than that one stupid guy from the Valley? I mean, that dude was no prize, but Dan can be all kinds of annoying at times. I can only imagine how grating twenty Dans would be.
• Ugh, I can't even listen to Lily and Cece have this fight. It's too boring.
• Nate is awfully complacent. Blair wants him: he's ok with that. Blair doesn't want him: he's ok with that too apparently.
• Blair: "Your quasi half-brother slash ex-boyfriend was your date."
• Serena: "We went through it together. We raised each other. You're my sister."
• The "we raised each other" sentiment is sweet, but it's also extremely true and explains a lot about B and S.
• BTW, while she's "raising" Blair, couldn't Serena mention that Chuck told her he loves Blair and that he went to extremely lengths to give her a perfect prom night?
• Next week: Blair says to Chuck--for the hundredth time--"Tell me you love me," and, darn it, if he doesn't just say it this time, I'm going to eat my right hand! Lol. Maybe not. But I will be severely angered.
• I do wonder what is happening with Georgie and Poppy.
• Let's hope that this year's GG finale is a little less manic and whip-lash inducing than last season's finale. Pick your story lines wisely and let them breathe a little, GG.

(photo: cwtv.com; I am refusing to post a photo from the flashback out of principle.)

Greek: A Modest Proposal

Greek:

"Dearly Beloved"

Casey's grand big sister returns to college to get married (why?), and the wedding instigates various complications in other relationships.

• Casey: "I look like a walking glow stick!"
• Jordan (on Rusty's made-up excuse from last week): "Not only does it sound dirty, but it doesn't exist."
• KiKi: "If either of you screw up my big day, I will personally rip off your head and tinkle down your neck!"
• Ha ha, Robin doesn't remember Cappie.
• Oh dear, Ashleigh's rainbow/cloud sweater is a disaster!
• Wow, I'm impressed that Max just up and told Casey the truth about Cal Tech. People don't usually just admit secrets like that on soaps.
• Can it please be the next day soon? Ashleigh needs to change out of that horrendous sweater. I don't believe for a second that Rebecca hasn't made a snide comment (or ten) about that sweater.
• Ha ha, Rebecca used the "rip off your head and tinkle down your neck" line on Cappie.
• Ha ha, Jordan and Rusty reading the sappy flower slogans off the posters at the flower shop to get the florist to give them the flowers was entertaining.
• Rusty: "We're like the Bonnie and Clyde of botany."
• Cappie's going to wish that he saw that Rebecca/Robin kiss.
• Cappie: "I need something that says sophisticated, yet amoral."
• Cappie: "Hey, maybe I should lose some of my jewelry!" (Me: "YES!!!")
• Why does Max never have the lights on in his dorm room? Is he a vampire or something?
• Both Rusty and Jordan are severely allergic to hydrangeas AND chocolate?! Are they related? Wait, and they're both afraid of needles and iguanas? I'm starting to feel like this is a Parent Trap-esque twins-separated-at-birth thing...
• Oh, thank goodness Max wasn't really proposing. I love the boy, but I'd completely believe that he would be clueless enough to pop the question and scare the snot out of Casey.
• Casey, there are nicer ways you could have dealt with this. Telling Max that you "can't breathe" was a little harsh.
• Eew, there's a special ZBZ wedding song that all the sisters sing?
• Frannie: "Oh, speak for yourself. I look hot in lime green."
• Casey: "I wonder when KiKi knew he was the right one."
  Frannie: "Probably when he knocked her up."
• Welcome to Marissa Cooper's season 2 storyline, Rebecca Logan.
• It's too bad Jordan didn't do a little more thinking before hooking up with Andy-licious, because it's now extremely obvious that she's better suited for Rusty. She probably could have figured that out a few weeks ago if she'd tried, and that would have saved everyone a whole lot of trouble.
• Booooo! There was no Dale or Calvin! (Or Evan, but I've had enough of his mopey self for awhile.)

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Gossip Girl: The Sting

Gossip Girl:

"The Wrath of Con"

Well, now we're talking. This episode was much better than last week's sub-par effort. Gossip Girl is at its best when some sort of group scheme is afoot, and tonight's scheme not only included Serena, Blair, Chuck and Nate but also Georgina, who I enjoy so much more this year than I did last year.

I don't think it's any coincidence that this episode was great and that there was no Vanessa in it. And, as a bonus, we got to see Eric for the first time in weeks! Well, we saw him for about 2 whole minutes anyway... We weren't given any more of an explanation as to where he was all this time, but if I had to live with Lily, Serena and Chuck, I'd probably need to flee on occasion too.

And for you trivia buffs out there, "The Wrath of Con" was also the name of Veronica Mars episode 1.04, in which Veronica has flashbacks to going to the Homecoming dance the year before with Lily, Logan and Duncan.

The episode:

• Chuck: "Well, his suits never did fit right."
• Poor Chuck is having a rough time riding in this cab. It's almost as bad as the thought of Blair on the subway.
• Geez, Nate, needy much? Blair's not allowed to do anything but sit around with you in the tiny apartment?
• Here's Rufus, or "Dupe of the Year" as Ashley has termed him, in fine form: acting creepy to random people on the street, singing in the subway, etc.
• Dan: "I'm pretty sure whatever that lady said was, 'Stoooooooooop!' in her own language."
• Serena: "You brought Nate?"
  Blair: "I'm just as flummoxed as you are. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it, but he's faster than he looks."
• Blair: "The only way her plans going to work is by an act of God." Cue Georgina. Ha ha!
• I loved everyone's reactions to Georgina's appearance, esp. those of Blair and Dan.
• Dan: "Ok, we need to get this crazy girl out of here!"
• Oh, Dan, just shut up for once in your freaking life! You don't have to go tell Lily everything.
• My sister's take on the situation: "It's sweet that Dan thinks he actually has a parent now (in Lily) instead of just whatever Rufus is..."
• Poppy's a fauxcialite!! Ha, that's a great word. (But is there an official spelling? Do we hyphenate it: faux-cialite?)
• Ugh, Blair's got a real Sophie's choice here: go with Nate and talk or stay with Georgie and talk.
• Yep, Gabriel, you should go. Good job, van der Woodsen, you do know how to pick 'em.
• WHOA! Eric looks completely different? Where was he? Makeover camp? His blond tips are all gone.
• I kind of buy earnest Georgie more than I bought evil Georgie. If this is an act, she's good.
• Blair: "If you look at it, Jesus drove you here."
  Georgie: "Actually, I think you pronounce it 'Hey-Zeus.'"
• Blair: "She's so evil, she makes the old Georgina look like the new Georgina."
• Poppy's got some nerve, showing up at the van der Woodsen's apartment!
• Lily: "Well, we can only hope that those people will be smarter than we were." (I'd say the odds are pretty good that they are.)
• Serena (to Dan): "I don't know, why don't you call my mom? You seem to like to talk to her these days."
• Jenny gives such sage marriage proposal advice for a 16-year-old.
• Ok, whiny Nate has stumbled onto a good point: if Chuck still wants Blair, it's time to man up and tell her.
• Hahahahahahaha! Jenny rattling off the whole plot of Twilight to stall Lily was hilarious! Little J can be so entertaining when she's not staging guerrilla fashion shows or dropping out of high school... (My sister wonders when Jenny found the time to read/watch Twilight, what with all her marathon all-night sewing sessions.)
• Dan! Shut up, shut up, shut up!
• Lily just left the financial papers in a drawer for Rufus to find?! Didn't she learn from the time she left her list of lovers in her purse and he found it? The dude goes through your stuff, Lily! You need to hide these things better!
• Georgie: "Are you a Carrie? I'm a Charlotte!"
• Blair: "Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are."

  Chuck: "I would never wish that on anyone."
• Holy intense conversation we're having here in the middle of an epic sting operation, Chuck and Blair!
• Serena: "Chuck, why did you just do that?"

  Chuck: "Because I love her. And I can't make her happy."
• Ohhh, Chuck :-(
• Georgie (brainstorming things the African kids can do with the wireless internet): "They can read Bible stories. Oh! They can download Kirk Cameron movies!"
• That Kirk Cameron joke would have killed if everyone had the work-related distaste for Fireproof that I have.
• I can't say there haven't been times that I would have welcomed seeing Serena carted away by the police, but this isn't really one of them...
• That Poppy Lifton is craftier than they give her credit for. Now she's made off with the camp's Bible money too!
• I totally knew that Lily called the cops on Serena. Wow, that's real nice. The only thing standing between Lily and the Mother of the Year award is Eloise Hawking. (Luckily for Serena and Eric, Lily's still got a ways to go to get into Eloise territory.)
• Rufus: "I have raised my kids just fine without your help!" (Really, Rufus? Really?)
• Rufus: "This coming from the same woman who wouldn't even let me put Jenny in the back of a squad car!" (This is a strange argument Rufus and Lily are suddenly having here. How many parents have such recent experience with having their own children incarcerated?)
• Blair: "I don't think that Jesus would approve of that..."
• What is Georgie going to do to Poppy? I'm actually kind of concerned for the fauxcialite.
• Chuck: "I need you to dig up what dirt you can on the 55th precinct."
• Wow, the inside of the 55th precinct is really dark! How do they take mugshots with such poor lighting?

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Avoidance

Greek: "Evasive Actions"

Last Monday, in my excitement over Chuck's epic season 2 finale and Chuck and Blair holding hands, I totally forgot to tape Greek to watch later. So I had to resort to watching it online on the ABCFamily video player and, boy, was that a battle. The picture was all jumpy and not synced with the audio. The nuances of the dodgeball battle were completely lost in translation. The dialogue came through clearly, however, so I was still able to compile my list of funny quotations:

• Andy: "Meet Queen Elizabeth and Queen Latifah!"
• Beav: "Man, science sounds hard. And kinda dirty!"
• Dale's making a valance for the window!
• Cal: "Well, it's been great hanging out with you two in the '50s..."
• Ha ha, the building manager still has the hots for Dale! And, like Rusty, I think it's hilarious.
• Wow, that's one humongous stuffed cat...
• Well, at least no one's under any illusions about the Evan/Frannie relationship anymore.
• Dale: "I DVR The View all week so I can watch them all back-to-back. I just love it when Hasselbeck serves them supper."
• Rusty: "When did you last go outside? Besides just for classes?"
  Dale: "Couple of weeks ago. I think it was raining. Maybe I watched a movie where it rained? I don't know..."
• Casey and Ash doing an air-kiss goodbye to make fun of Frannie.
• Max!
• Max: "Whoever says the U.S. doesn't torture hasn't graded 80 papers on cement elasticity."
• No, Ashleigh, "make over" is not the solution here.
• Evan: "Oh, come on, that was a joke! I misread my audience."
• It seems like everyone needs more friends: Dale, Max, Evan, Jordan.
• Max: "Rusty's concerned that you never leave the apartment. Are you avoiding something out there?"
  Dale: "Yeah, vegans and Coldplay fans."
• Max: "I think it's time to get passive-aggressive."
• Ash: "We go around in a circle and tell our most embarrassing moment."

  ZBZ girl: "Ashleigh, how will you choose?"
• Frannie: "You're such a creature of habit."

  Casey: "And you're such a creature!"
• Casey: "For your information, she's not drunk--she just athletic."
• Cyber church. Lol. That's great.
• Rusty loves Thelma and Louise.
• Ha ha, the KT's are loving Dale. He's making them nachos, pigs in a blanket, cookies... And they've been there for 12 hours!
• Dale telling Casey they should work together and trying to hold her hand.
• I find Dale intoxicating too. Ha ha.
• Why do Dale and Rusty have to switch apartments? Can't they just clean the place up and continue on as usual?
• Frannie: "I love this. I finally get to throw things at you without looking like a bad person."
• Hey, Casey and Max still do associate with each other occasionally! Who knew?
• Where's Rebecca? I bet that girl can throw hard. (Due to the poor quality of the video player, I'm honestly not sure if Rebecca was in that scene, but I didn't see her.)
• Oh no! Is Frannie's going to go after Max now? Nooooo. I do not like that look she was giving Casey and Max. After her scene with Evan, however, maybe the point of her staring at Casey and Max was not so much, "Hey, I'm going to go try to steal Max from Casey too!" but rather, "Hey, so that's what it looks like when your boyfriend actually likes you. Seems nice."
• I'm also not sure how I feel about this Dale and Sheila-the-building-manager thing. Between this and Krystin Ritter's character on Breaking Bad, it seems like a lot of building managers are getting a little too friendly with their tenants lately. I'm all for Dale getting a girl, but I'd feel better about it if she were a little closer to his age. Oh well, we'll see what happens.