Gossip Girl: A Declaration of Rights

Gossip Girl: "Chuck in Real Life"

So Chuck has finally had enough of following Blair around like a sick puppy. He may still be having trouble getting anyone else to love or respect him (Bart, Blair, Nate, etc.), but at least he's showing some self-respect for once. How awesome was it when he told Blair that he wasn't going to settle for just sex and wanted something more? That's turning a major corner for the guy who has bedded more Maxim covers than John Mayer.

During this episode, while watching Blair blatantly lust after Chuck and cook up bizarre schemes that end with Chuck in her bedroom, I was struck by how much of the series has been devoted to Blair trying get various boys to have sex with her. During many of the first episodes, her main focus was trying to get Nate to come and get it. This year, she was trying very hard to get Marcus to sleep with her, and now she's gotta have Chuck. Except for the time she had Nate and Chuck in the same week, it seems that poor Queen B has trouble getting boys into bed with her, which seems beyond odd because she's a very pretty girl. She might want to look into this phenomenon.

But, the most distressing part of last night's episode involved Blair and a certain handbag. Last week, I saw a promo picture (shown above) of Queen B holding a purse that looks exactly like the H&M bag I've been using for almost a year (but in a different color). I was so excited that Blair Waldorf would have something that looks like something I own. So, imagine my distress when in last night's episode, it turned out that Blair was only holding the purse because she stole it and it's real owner was Vanessa! Vanessa! Ugh, I am so ashamed. Does this mean I'm going to start wearing red jeans and ugly boots and all kinds of hideous accessories? This is a disaster.

Quotes/highlights/running commentary:

• Bart got Serena a suit and gave Eric a watch, but Chuck just got money direct deposited into his bank account. Bart is such an ass.
• Chuck (in response to Bart's question about the implications of family): "Less money for me when you die."
• Bart: "A weekend curfew of 1 a.m."
  Chuck: "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
• Ha ha, Serena gets awfully bent out of shape when Lily/Bart try to act like actual parents.
• Warning to Bart: don't try apologizing to Serena--she'll bite your head off.
• Chuck: "Isn't it about time you ended this bromance? What happens at Yale, stays at Yale."
• Chelsea: "I didn't realize..."
  Blair: "That tights are not pants!?!"
• Vanessa is blackmailing Blair into helping her save a building? Seriously? What happened to her strict moral code?
• Wow, so many downsides to being in Page 6... exploited by Yale, faced with curfews in order to secure business deals, etc.
• What was so bad about Serena's red dress? It covered more than the outfits she was wearing on her college visits.
• Serena: "Oh! I forgot to wear underwear!"
• Chuck: "You had me until 'troll'."
• Blair's looking pretty hot for Chuck right now. It's looking like he's going to get the reward whether they take down Vanessa or not.
• Eric's Jonathan looks kind of like a young Rufus.
• Serena: "Wow! Blair, did you hear that? Chuck!"
• Shouldn't the soccer boys be shunning Dan due to Serena's mandate?
• Cedric is Dan's guy friend ;-)
• Jenny: "Is Cedric invited?"
  Rufus: "Jenny, come on. Cedric would get dirty. And then Dan would have to bathe him."
• Wow, these Brooklyn club people really don't seem to want help if they're throwing food at people who are trying to buy the stupid place.
• Umm, yeah, Lily should have insisted on more structure in Serena's life in the past.
• Dan really is quite the looker when he's not being so self-righteous that you can't stand to look at him.
• Chuck: "Did you have a reason to come here? Because if it was to insult me, there is a Web site you can go to."
• So Serena and Eric used to show up at Eleanor's and the Archibalds' whenever Lily jetted off with a new boyfriend? That's interesting. BTW, what happened to Serena and Eric's dad?
• Blair's dress (pictured above) is stunning. Chuck has good taste in dresses. Better taste in dresses than he has in men's wear and athletic apparel, I'm afraid ;-)
• Aww, the guy from the bar just hugged Chuck. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone hug Chuck! And he just said "possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said to [Chuck]"--maybe this guy (Horace) can be Chuck's new daddy.
• Wow, Dan needs advice from his 15-year-old sister an awful lot.
• There we go, Chuck. Finally he starts playing Blair hot and cold. That's the only way he's going to get her.
• Dan's try at changing the subject: "You know, I've seen Nate do the knee-bounce-with-the-ball thing, and it's incredible."
• OMG! Bart crushing Chuck's bar deal was just nasty and mean. Bart becomes more and more of an ass to Chuck every week. It's time for Bart to get killed off. (And it seems that may just be happening soon enough...)
• Tips for dealing with the Upper East Siders: don't apologize to Serena, don't try to help Nate.
• Serena: "Mom's husband was a raging coke-head and left blow everywhere."
  Eric: "It wasn't everywhere. It was just on the smooth, shiny surfaces."
• Eric is so wise for a 15-year-old.
• Blair propositions Chuck to the sounds of "One Week of Danger" by The Virgins, which hearkens back to Chuck and Blair's fateful encounter in the moving limo!
• Guess Chuck isn't going to end up in Blair's bedroom if he made a detour to Brooklyn first. Oh, hey, he did make it, he's just late.
• Chuck: "If you thought that was long, you have no idea what you're in for."
• Chuck: "Say it. Three words, eight letters, three syllables. You wanted it from me."
  Blair: "I'm prepared to settle."
  Chuck: "Maybe I'm not."
  Blair: "Chuck Bass, I will never say those words to you."
  Chuck: "Then you will never have me. I've chased you long enough, now it's time for you to chase me."

Next week Willa Holland finally hits the Upper East Side! Yea! But, how did Jenny go from zero to Goth so quickly? Holy eye makeup, Little J!

Headband Monday: Purple with a flower.

(Gossip Girl photo: cwtv.com)