Greek: The KTs Get Bust-ed

Greek: "Guilty Treasures"

The highlight of this episode of Greek was that it featured some quality Kappa Tau hijinks. I loved how individual KTs would pop into random scenes featuring other characters to return some of the stolen items they found in their basement. It was nice to see a little more of Wade and Heath for a change too. And Beav was exceptional as always.

And props to Greek for fitting Dale, Calvin, Max, Evan, Beaver, Heath, Wade, Fisher, etc. all into this episode! When your supporting cast is this much fun, you should utilize it.

Quotations and my thoughts:

• Oh, thank goodness, Dale is in this episode.
• Rusty: "She had the swordfish, which is known to contain high levels of mercury, but..."
• Beav: "Rusty, can you make oxygen?"
• Cappie: "We didn't do this. Our KT alumni did. See, once upon a time, this fraternity was full of kleptos."
  Heath (to Beav): "That's people who steal things."
  Beav: "I know! ...What's an alumni?"
• Cappie: "While I think we all enjoy this verbal game of wits, I think we're ignoring one important fact here: I saw swords down there!"
• Fisher!
• Ash, you're going to lose your cute new boy if you insist on hiding the relationship.
• Jordan's relationship with Andy is the most important thing here? Really?
• Cappie (when Evan walks in): "Hey, it's the Abercrombie lady. You know what, we're all set on twill shorts, but thanks."
  Evan: "We want our bust. Come on, give it up."
  Cappie: "Our bust... Too easy. Pass!"
• Cappie: "You know, too bad I didn't hit him with a paddle. That's what we do to each other's pledges, right?"
• Max: "Do you know how many times I've tried to make a real woman out of a doll?"
• How many times have Max and Casey gone to the dinosaur museum? Lol.
• Calvin and Ashleigh! Together! Who knew they still hang out?
• Why wouldn't Dr. Broom be a fan of Max? How could you not be?
• Heath returning the golden chicken (?) to the restaurant and then filling some water glasses for the heck of it was great. Heath was being so funny, I couldn't even pay attention to Max and Casey's conversation.
• Jordan: "Open up, Rus! It's Uncle Jordan."
• Casey: "Wow, way to go, Sienna Miller."
• Ahh! Dale has lipstick all over his face! This Sheila thing is getting serious.
• Ashleigh made Fisher take her to Gentlemen's Choice (on lesbian night) for their first date? Oh, Ash...
• Fisher: "When I first met you, you know, I kind of imagined us doing the whole going-out thing."

  Ashleigh: "I imagined you naked."
• Casey: "My superpower is reading women and their wardrobes and knowing everything about them which tells me exactly how to get what I want."

  Max: "That's kind of like Emma Frost."

  Casey: "...Totally."
• Has Casey always been an English major? Or is that a post-Evan/post-pre law thing?
• Whoa, those security guards got on the scene fast!
• Casey: "Miss Jay can't even get that, and the lipstick's named after him."
• Ash: "That's how I feel about Fisher."

  Calvin: "That's how I feel about Fisher too."
• Ash: "Aww, that girl has Fisher's haircut."
• How did Beaver get into Mr. Broom's exclusive party?! With a (pilfered) gramophone! Ha ha ha!
• Max told Mr. Broom to take two of the tainted chicken kabobs.
• Max has to leave for this research thing tomorrow?! That's a little fast.
• Well, it was classy of Evan to not turn in the KTs. It's about time he did something classy.
• Aww, poor Wade is stuck in the handcuffs.
• Good riddance, Andy-licious. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
• Rusty: "I kissed Jordan."

  Cappie: "Who? Michael Jordan? Jordan Knight? Jordan Catalano? Don't tell me you kissed Andy's Jordan!"

  Rusty: "I wish I kissed Michael Jordan."
• Lol, I had to Google Jordan Catalano to determine that Cappie was making a reference to My So-Called Life (that show was a little before my time). Nicely done, Cappie.
• Casey: "Watch out for soccer hooligans." (Actually, since he's going to Oxford, she should probably warn him to watch out for Daniel Faraday and Eloise Hawking, etc. Max does not need to get mixed up with those crazy people.)
• Uh oh, now we've got two sad Cartwrights again.
• So, we all know, of course, that Casey and Cappie (while not paying any attention to each other for the past several episodes) will suddenly begin to be drawn closer and closer and closer and then kiss--or almost kiss--right when Max returns in a month.

90210: Backlot Prom

90210:

"Zero Tolerance"

I haven't really blogged about 90210 since the infamous bowling montage of '08, but I have been watching every episode and I guess I should be embarrassed to admit that. I wanted, however, to weigh in on the show again now because it has actually turned out to be quite enjoyable lately.

I'd attribute the vast improvement to: more screen time for Adrianna (or "Bangs" as I fondly call her) and Navid, who have been awesome; less screen time for the Annie/Ethan/Naomi love triangle and subsequent fallout, which was insufferable; Silver's bipolar disorder storyline, which made her more sympathetic and less grating and showed that Dixon is one nice fellow; and Ryan Matthews occasionally acting like he doesn't have a stick up his butt. I've even been enjoying Naomi lately, specifically when she moved in with the Wilsons and was terrorizing everybody (especially Dixon).

Also, the dialogue has gotten a lot better. One scene in particular that sticks out in my mind took place a few episodes ago when most of the characters were holding simultaneous phone conversations about Silver making the sex tape and what kind of drugs she must be on. That scene was so well-written, well-acted, and well-edited that it was reminiscent of classic The O.C.

The show's lingering issues are that Ethan's character is still not interesting even when he's having a one-fifth life crisis (which will be remedied when they kick the poor kid to the curb completely next season) and that Annie is still all kinds of annoying. How are we going to remedy the Annie situation, folks? I think Liam might be on to something--if Annie turns into an unapologetic bad girl, she'll be a lot easy to take than she is as an annoying "nice" girl.

Now on to the prom:

• I hope Annie's getting a Chanel dress too for doing that silly anti-post prom party video. (Edit: Upon seeing the dress, I've decided that it was not worth it.)
• Liam is a major jerk, but he sure can draw one nice-looking fish.
• Naomi really wants to go to the prom with Liam? That honestly sounds like a painful experience.
• Silver already looks tanner than usual, I'm not sure she needs more spray tanning.
• This health teacher guy is pretty cool. Maybe Kelly should hook up with him.
• No, Annie, it hasn't occurred to anyone that you're "just a nice person."
• I do like Annie's shirt. That's the nicest thing I've had to say about her in a long time.
• Dixon's grin and then pleading face cracked me up when he and Silver were coaxing Ethan to go to the prom.
• Yeah, the pink poofy dress is not Silver at all. It's very Gwyneth Paltrow at the 1999 Oscars.
• Jen: "Anyway, how hilarious is it to wear couture to the sophomore prom!"
• If Jen was using all of Naomi's money to pay for her stuff, she could have at least bought a little less stuff.
• Jen and B. Sheep Chambers from Greek should start a support group for older siblings who mooch of their younger siblings. Or maybe Naomi and Evan should start one for the younger siblings.
• Silver: "Everyone's going to be staring at me!"
  Adriana: "Not if you walk by me. Hello, eight months pregnant!"
• Why is there paparazzi at the sophomore prom? Who wants to look at those pictures? It's not like you can sell those to US Weekly or something.
• Nice choice of a prom dress by Naomi. Emerald green gowns are awesome.
• Navid: "You know, there's a difference between false labor pains and fake labor pains."
• Annie's date: "[I guess you weren't nominated] because you're new."

  Dixon: "Hey! I'm nominated for prom king!"
• Ha ha, Annie's date told her off. I applaud when anyone tells Annie off.
• Principal Wilson needed to make his post prom party announcement in the middle of a song?
• Jen: "I think academics are terribly sexy. And I don't just mean teachers. When I was at Yale, I briefly dated someone in the registrar's office."
• If Yale took Jen, the "narcissist with no moral compass," they certainly could have taken Blair Waldorf. Apparently stealing term papers is ok, but spreading gossip about teachers is not.
• Wait, can Silver win prom queen even though she doesn't go to this school anymore?
• Does everyone at West Beverly really like Silver? I never got the vibe that she was all that well-liked before the breakdown, what with her mean blog and all.
• Oh, Silver's making friends now--calling people who like the prom "weird, zombie, prom-loving losers."
• That was a weird moment there when Silver made fun of spray-tanning and they cut straight to Annie's reaction. Because few people spray tan as much as Annie...
• Ugh, I hate it when Dixon acts mopey. It's almost as bad as when Annie acts...anyway at all.
• Gasp! Jen's married to someone named Olivier!
• A black orchid corsage? I've never even heard of a black orchid.
• Aww, Liam does actually like Naomi? I did not see that one coming...
• Are they suddenly edging toward a Mr. Wilson/Kelly romance? Because I've got a vibe from the two of them all episode. I'm hoping it was not intentional.
• Whoa, I thought Navid got over wanting to beat up the pretty boy who knocked up Ad since that story line disappeared for 30 minutes, but apparently he did not get over it. Navid and Ad have been kind of MIA during this prom. Booooo. The poor girl had to go into labor to get herself some screen time!
• Who turned on the snow machine over a street set that no one is shooting on? That seems like a waste of money.

(photos: cwtv.com)

Big Bang Theory: Polar Express

The Big Bang Theory:

"The Monopolar Expedition"

The Big Bang Theory is definitely the show I don't watch that I most wish I did. Unfortunately, due to a cruel twist of fate, the programming PTB put this show up in the same time slot as three of my absolute favorite shows--Gossip Girl, Chuck and Greek--as well as another show--Dancing with the Stars--that I have to monitor because of my allegiance to Shawn Johnson. I don't have enough eyes or VCRs to handle 5 shows at once. So, most regrettably, Big Bang Theory has fallen by the wayside.

It is my goal to catch up on as many TBBT reruns this summer as I can. (Impressive goals I have, huh?) And, since Chuck bowed out a little early with it's (fabulous) season finale, I now have the capability of checking in on TBBT now.

I caught last week's episode ("The Classified Materials Turbulence") and thoroughly enjoyed it. Admittedly, I am not a big fan of bathroom humor. When I was in London a few years ago, we saw several plays that absolutely relied on bathroom humor, and I always seemed like the one person who was not loving it. In particular, one (really quite good) production of The Hypochondriac reached its climax with a rousing musical number about anuses. Everyone else in the theatre was basically beside themselves with hilarity, and I was like, "Just make it stop." With that background knowledge, you now know that it is meaningful that even I thought Harold's space-toilet-gone-awry and the potty jokes it inspired were pretty darn funny. (My favorite line was Raj's "You're right. It's a very important scientific breakthrough for two reasons: number one...and number two.")

Last night's season finale ("The Monopolar Expedition") was pretty darn amusing as well. I'd totally sign up to spend three months at the North Pole with Sheldon. Does that make me crazy?

The problem with blogging TBBT is that I found myself trying to write down virtually every line everyone was saying. It got a little ridiculous, but here's the highlight list:

• Sheldon fooling Leonard into thinking he made a mistake with his science.
• Sheldon: "The entire family's fascinated by what time it is and whether people know it."
• Leonard: "He offered to send you to the North Pole?"
  Sheldon: "Yes. In fact, he was quite enthusiastic. He said, 'Frankly, if I could send you tonight, I would.'"
• Sheldon: "I'm a theoretical physicist, a career I chose in no small part because it's indoors!"
• Sheldon: "...I'll be the scientist who confirms String Theory. People will write books about me. Third-graders will create macaroni art dioramas depicting things from my life!"
• Sheldon's friends' glee when he says he tentatively accepted the invitation to join the North Pole expedition.
• Sheldon: "Well, there are others who might be more qualified, but the thought of interviewing them gave me a stomach ache."
• Raj: "But if we're part of the team that confirms String Theory, we could drink for free at any bar in any town with a university that has a strong science program!"
• Harold: "I could also be the engineer of the crossbow that kills Sheldon."
• Sheldon's reaction to Penny knocking on the door back at him.
• Leonard: "Did she seem upset to you?"
  Sheldon: "No. Did she seem upset to you?"
  Leonard: "No."
  Sheldon: "Oh, good. I got it right. Are you upset?"
  Leonard: "A little bit."
  Sheldon: "Two for two! I'm on fire."
• Leonard, Raj and Harold trying to use their "tools" in the freezer.
• Raj's mom: "If the other guys jumped into the Bay of Bengal and tried to swim to Sri Lanka, would you follow them?"

  Raj: "If you were standing behind me nagging, I might."
• The Slanket has seriously got to be the product most used as a comedic prop on TV these days.
• Sheldon: "I know you're concerned about disappointing me, but I want you to take comfort in the knowledge that my expectations of you are very low."
• How did Harold and Raj talk their parents into letting them go?
• They really shouldn't have taught Sheldon how to make jokes. He's getting too good at it.
• So will the boys really confirm String Theory? That would be a major game-changer. That one would not only change the course of the show but also the course of the real world, right? Awesome.

(photo: CBS)

Gossip Girl: Lily of the Valley & Prom Queen B

Gossip Girl:

"Valley Girls"

A couple days before the well-hyped Lily (Rhodes) van der Woodsen (Bass) flashback backdoor pilot aired, rumors swirled that The CW isn't planning on putting the Lily spin-off on its fall schedule after all, and will instead opt to pick up Beautiful Life (featuring The O.C.'s Mischa Barton), the Melrose Place update (because why come up with a new idea when you can remake an old one?) and Vampire Diaries (to capitalize on the Twilight hysteria) and to renew Privileged (which, ironically, is one the only shows I've ever watched that I've actually called on the network to cancel). After watching Lily's flashback take over this episode of Gossip Girl, I can say that--if the rumors are true--not picking up the Lily spin-off is one of the few programming decisions The CW has made that I agree with.

I once wondered if Josh Schwartz could ever create a show that I wouldn't like, and now we have our answer. The Lily '80s flashback was just painful. It lacked the wit and charisma that a Josh Schwartz show typically thrives on. The characters (even the ones we already knew) were underdeveloped and stereotypical. The dialogue was unnatural and sometimes just bizarre. The whole thing was boring. And Lily was possibly even more annoying as a teenager than she is now (and that is a major feat).

Oh, and you know the flashback was bad if I'm trashing it even though it included several cast members whom I already love or at least like: Ryan Hansen (my beloved Dick Casablancas from Veronica Mars), Krysten Ritter (a veteran of Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, who is currently so much better in Breaking Bad), Andrew McCarthy (who will always be Larry from Weekend at Bernie's to me), and Cynthia Watros from Lost.

But the worst part of the whole Lily flashback was that it stole precious screen time from the Gossip Girl characters that we love! (Except for Vanessa--Lily can have all of Vanessa's screentime as far as I'm concerned.) Even though the Gossip Girlers were just navigating the world of prom, which was certainly not earth-shattering by any means, I just wanted to watch them!

Highlights, lowlights and quotes:

• Blair: "Serena's been in jail for 4 hours! That's longer than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan combined!"
• Chuck: "Please, she's a socialite accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they're working her over with a phone book."
• Rufus still sucks. He tells Dan and Jenny that one of their best friends was just arrested at the behest of her mother, and when they ask for more information, he just yells at them to not get involved. That's helpful.
• Lily's parents had a tumultuous divorce? Then why did Cece still have her husband's suits in her house at the Hamptons? (Remember, Dan had to borrow Serena's grandpa's jacket to go to the White Party.)
• Lily's dad: "Punishing loved ones just comes much easier to some people."
• We've established that in Margaret Colin and John Shea, Blair has the coolest parents ever. Lily has some cool ones too: Larry from Weekend at Bernie's and Libby from Lost. Except Lily's parents are both acting like jerks. Not that I feel too badly for her; she was just as annoying in the '80s as she is now.
• It's only happened twice, but I'm already sick of transitioning in and out from the flashbacks. The stupid, reflective look on Lily's face as she reminisces makes me gag.
• Ha ha, Blair's looking at the scrapbook (that she supposedly hasn't looked at since she was a child).
• Blair: "Just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked at since I was an early adolescent!"
• Ha ha, is Chuck sabotaging Nate and Blair's dream prom? Because that's funny.
• Lily thinks Cece's toxic? Cece? Cece's probably the least toxic woman in this whole family.
• Limited editions of the Gossip Girl books are on sale that come with posters of the cast! Wow, I'm actually kind of excited about that; what am I, 12-years-old?
• Wow, young Lily, that was an overreaction (in the immortal words of Andy Bernard)! She didn't have to yell at the kid just for bumping into her.
• My sister: "This waiter dude is trying really hard to be Ryan Lafferty."
• Dan: "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man."
• Ahh! Scary! Poor Little J was just hanging out in her room when all of a sudden the garage door wall is thrown open by Dan, who is wearing only a t-shirt and purple boxers! Which is especially odd, because in the scene immediately proceeding that one, he was fully clothed while talking to Lily on the phone. So, he apparently stripped down to go talk to his little sister. Weirdo!
• Dan: "Hey, I think I need a dress for prom."
  Jenny: "Ok, but you're going to have to wear your own shoes."
• Good Lord, young Lily is annoying! "You're totally falling in love with me right now." SHUT UP! Trust me, no one is falling in love with you! Only Rufus is stupid enough to do that, and he doesn't come along for a couple more years.
• Oh, thank God, it's Ryan Hansen (who is rocking quite the hairdo)! He's about the only one who can save this horrendous flashback, but it's a tall order.
• Blair: "I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head, and tonight no effort required!"
• Blair: "We don't do prom queen. That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."
• Serena's white nail polish really held up in prison! It still looks flawless.
• Can we see a flashback into Eleanor's past now? Because I guarantee it would be a hell of a lot more interesting than this.
• Kind of cliche '80s music they're using here. It's not bad; it's just exactly what everyone would think of when they think '80s music: "I Melt With You," "The Safety Dance," etc.
• Blair: "Well, I just spent 10 seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
• Is that dress supposed to be Jenny's? Because that might explain why Serena's boobs are popping out of it, but I'm not really sure her boobs would have ever fit in Jenny's dress in the first place. That really is just supposed to be one of Jenny's dresses--Little J didn't just sew that one up in a half hour, right? Because not even Jenny can sew that fast.
• Wow, everyone else must have gotten tired of Lily's "remembering face" too, because now they're not using any kind of transitions from past to present at all.
• Hey, shocker, the young Mr. van der Woodsen is a jerk.
• The part where Owen throws Lily's "Your falling in love with me," line back at her would have been funny if the whole thing (namely the acting in this scene) wasn't so painful.
• Eew, Carol slept with Lily's future husband? Yuck.
• Can we please get back to Blair and Chuck's scintillating conversation about the prom queen?
• Nice punch, Ryan Hansen! He learned that move during the battles between Logan's rich kids and Weevil's motorcycle gang in Veronica Mars season 2.
• Blair: "This is my moment! I own prom!"
• Dan: "Who even voted for her?"

  Chuck: "Me. About 150 times."
• Oh. My. God. Chuck's "sabotage" turned out to be him ensuring that Blair's prom night was perfect and just like her scrapbook. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Chuck!!!
• Cece would rather have twenty Dan Humphreys from Brooklyn than that one stupid guy from the Valley? I mean, that dude was no prize, but Dan can be all kinds of annoying at times. I can only imagine how grating twenty Dans would be.
• Ugh, I can't even listen to Lily and Cece have this fight. It's too boring.
• Nate is awfully complacent. Blair wants him: he's ok with that. Blair doesn't want him: he's ok with that too apparently.
• Blair: "Your quasi half-brother slash ex-boyfriend was your date."
• Serena: "We went through it together. We raised each other. You're my sister."
• The "we raised each other" sentiment is sweet, but it's also extremely true and explains a lot about B and S.
• BTW, while she's "raising" Blair, couldn't Serena mention that Chuck told her he loves Blair and that he went to extremely lengths to give her a perfect prom night?
• Next week: Blair says to Chuck--for the hundredth time--"Tell me you love me," and, darn it, if he doesn't just say it this time, I'm going to eat my right hand! Lol. Maybe not. But I will be severely angered.
• I do wonder what is happening with Georgie and Poppy.
• Let's hope that this year's GG finale is a little less manic and whip-lash inducing than last season's finale. Pick your story lines wisely and let them breathe a little, GG.

(photo: cwtv.com; I am refusing to post a photo from the flashback out of principle.)

Greek: A Modest Proposal

Greek:

"Dearly Beloved"

Casey's grand big sister returns to college to get married (why?), and the wedding instigates various complications in other relationships.

• Casey: "I look like a walking glow stick!"
• Jordan (on Rusty's made-up excuse from last week): "Not only does it sound dirty, but it doesn't exist."
• KiKi: "If either of you screw up my big day, I will personally rip off your head and tinkle down your neck!"
• Ha ha, Robin doesn't remember Cappie.
• Oh dear, Ashleigh's rainbow/cloud sweater is a disaster!
• Wow, I'm impressed that Max just up and told Casey the truth about Cal Tech. People don't usually just admit secrets like that on soaps.
• Can it please be the next day soon? Ashleigh needs to change out of that horrendous sweater. I don't believe for a second that Rebecca hasn't made a snide comment (or ten) about that sweater.
• Ha ha, Rebecca used the "rip off your head and tinkle down your neck" line on Cappie.
• Ha ha, Jordan and Rusty reading the sappy flower slogans off the posters at the flower shop to get the florist to give them the flowers was entertaining.
• Rusty: "We're like the Bonnie and Clyde of botany."
• Cappie's going to wish that he saw that Rebecca/Robin kiss.
• Cappie: "I need something that says sophisticated, yet amoral."
• Cappie: "Hey, maybe I should lose some of my jewelry!" (Me: "YES!!!")
• Why does Max never have the lights on in his dorm room? Is he a vampire or something?
• Both Rusty and Jordan are severely allergic to hydrangeas AND chocolate?! Are they related? Wait, and they're both afraid of needles and iguanas? I'm starting to feel like this is a Parent Trap-esque twins-separated-at-birth thing...
• Oh, thank goodness Max wasn't really proposing. I love the boy, but I'd completely believe that he would be clueless enough to pop the question and scare the snot out of Casey.
• Casey, there are nicer ways you could have dealt with this. Telling Max that you "can't breathe" was a little harsh.
• Eew, there's a special ZBZ wedding song that all the sisters sing?
• Frannie: "Oh, speak for yourself. I look hot in lime green."
• Casey: "I wonder when KiKi knew he was the right one."
  Frannie: "Probably when he knocked her up."
• Welcome to Marissa Cooper's season 2 storyline, Rebecca Logan.
• It's too bad Jordan didn't do a little more thinking before hooking up with Andy-licious, because it's now extremely obvious that she's better suited for Rusty. She probably could have figured that out a few weeks ago if she'd tried, and that would have saved everyone a whole lot of trouble.
• Booooo! There was no Dale or Calvin! (Or Evan, but I've had enough of his mopey self for awhile.)

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Gossip Girl: The Sting

Gossip Girl:

"The Wrath of Con"

Well, now we're talking. This episode was much better than last week's sub-par effort. Gossip Girl is at its best when some sort of group scheme is afoot, and tonight's scheme not only included Serena, Blair, Chuck and Nate but also Georgina, who I enjoy so much more this year than I did last year.

I don't think it's any coincidence that this episode was great and that there was no Vanessa in it. And, as a bonus, we got to see Eric for the first time in weeks! Well, we saw him for about 2 whole minutes anyway... We weren't given any more of an explanation as to where he was all this time, but if I had to live with Lily, Serena and Chuck, I'd probably need to flee on occasion too.

And for you trivia buffs out there, "The Wrath of Con" was also the name of Veronica Mars episode 1.04, in which Veronica has flashbacks to going to the Homecoming dance the year before with Lily, Logan and Duncan.

The episode:

• Chuck: "Well, his suits never did fit right."
• Poor Chuck is having a rough time riding in this cab. It's almost as bad as the thought of Blair on the subway.
• Geez, Nate, needy much? Blair's not allowed to do anything but sit around with you in the tiny apartment?
• Here's Rufus, or "Dupe of the Year" as Ashley has termed him, in fine form: acting creepy to random people on the street, singing in the subway, etc.
• Dan: "I'm pretty sure whatever that lady said was, 'Stoooooooooop!' in her own language."
• Serena: "You brought Nate?"
  Blair: "I'm just as flummoxed as you are. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it, but he's faster than he looks."
• Blair: "The only way her plans going to work is by an act of God." Cue Georgina. Ha ha!
• I loved everyone's reactions to Georgina's appearance, esp. those of Blair and Dan.
• Dan: "Ok, we need to get this crazy girl out of here!"
• Oh, Dan, just shut up for once in your freaking life! You don't have to go tell Lily everything.
• My sister's take on the situation: "It's sweet that Dan thinks he actually has a parent now (in Lily) instead of just whatever Rufus is..."
• Poppy's a fauxcialite!! Ha, that's a great word. (But is there an official spelling? Do we hyphenate it: faux-cialite?)
• Ugh, Blair's got a real Sophie's choice here: go with Nate and talk or stay with Georgie and talk.
• Yep, Gabriel, you should go. Good job, van der Woodsen, you do know how to pick 'em.
• WHOA! Eric looks completely different? Where was he? Makeover camp? His blond tips are all gone.
• I kind of buy earnest Georgie more than I bought evil Georgie. If this is an act, she's good.
• Blair: "If you look at it, Jesus drove you here."
  Georgie: "Actually, I think you pronounce it 'Hey-Zeus.'"
• Blair: "She's so evil, she makes the old Georgina look like the new Georgina."
• Poppy's got some nerve, showing up at the van der Woodsen's apartment!
• Lily: "Well, we can only hope that those people will be smarter than we were." (I'd say the odds are pretty good that they are.)
• Serena (to Dan): "I don't know, why don't you call my mom? You seem to like to talk to her these days."
• Jenny gives such sage marriage proposal advice for a 16-year-old.
• Ok, whiny Nate has stumbled onto a good point: if Chuck still wants Blair, it's time to man up and tell her.
• Hahahahahahaha! Jenny rattling off the whole plot of Twilight to stall Lily was hilarious! Little J can be so entertaining when she's not staging guerrilla fashion shows or dropping out of high school... (My sister wonders when Jenny found the time to read/watch Twilight, what with all her marathon all-night sewing sessions.)
• Dan! Shut up, shut up, shut up!
• Lily just left the financial papers in a drawer for Rufus to find?! Didn't she learn from the time she left her list of lovers in her purse and he found it? The dude goes through your stuff, Lily! You need to hide these things better!
• Georgie: "Are you a Carrie? I'm a Charlotte!"
• Blair: "Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are."

  Chuck: "I would never wish that on anyone."
• Holy intense conversation we're having here in the middle of an epic sting operation, Chuck and Blair!
• Serena: "Chuck, why did you just do that?"

  Chuck: "Because I love her. And I can't make her happy."
• Ohhh, Chuck :-(
• Georgie (brainstorming things the African kids can do with the wireless internet): "They can read Bible stories. Oh! They can download Kirk Cameron movies!"
• That Kirk Cameron joke would have killed if everyone had the work-related distaste for Fireproof that I have.
• I can't say there haven't been times that I would have welcomed seeing Serena carted away by the police, but this isn't really one of them...
• That Poppy Lifton is craftier than they give her credit for. Now she's made off with the camp's Bible money too!
• I totally knew that Lily called the cops on Serena. Wow, that's real nice. The only thing standing between Lily and the Mother of the Year award is Eloise Hawking. (Luckily for Serena and Eric, Lily's still got a ways to go to get into Eloise territory.)
• Rufus: "I have raised my kids just fine without your help!" (Really, Rufus? Really?)
• Rufus: "This coming from the same woman who wouldn't even let me put Jenny in the back of a squad car!" (This is a strange argument Rufus and Lily are suddenly having here. How many parents have such recent experience with having their own children incarcerated?)
• Blair: "I don't think that Jesus would approve of that..."
• What is Georgie going to do to Poppy? I'm actually kind of concerned for the fauxcialite.
• Chuck: "I need you to dig up what dirt you can on the 55th precinct."
• Wow, the inside of the 55th precinct is really dark! How do they take mugshots with such poor lighting?

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Avoidance

Greek: "Evasive Actions"

Last Monday, in my excitement over Chuck's epic season 2 finale and Chuck and Blair holding hands, I totally forgot to tape Greek to watch later. So I had to resort to watching it online on the ABCFamily video player and, boy, was that a battle. The picture was all jumpy and not synced with the audio. The nuances of the dodgeball battle were completely lost in translation. The dialogue came through clearly, however, so I was still able to compile my list of funny quotations:

• Andy: "Meet Queen Elizabeth and Queen Latifah!"
• Beav: "Man, science sounds hard. And kinda dirty!"
• Dale's making a valance for the window!
• Cal: "Well, it's been great hanging out with you two in the '50s..."
• Ha ha, the building manager still has the hots for Dale! And, like Rusty, I think it's hilarious.
• Wow, that's one humongous stuffed cat...
• Well, at least no one's under any illusions about the Evan/Frannie relationship anymore.
• Dale: "I DVR The View all week so I can watch them all back-to-back. I just love it when Hasselbeck serves them supper."
• Rusty: "When did you last go outside? Besides just for classes?"
  Dale: "Couple of weeks ago. I think it was raining. Maybe I watched a movie where it rained? I don't know..."
• Casey and Ash doing an air-kiss goodbye to make fun of Frannie.
• Max!
• Max: "Whoever says the U.S. doesn't torture hasn't graded 80 papers on cement elasticity."
• No, Ashleigh, "make over" is not the solution here.
• Evan: "Oh, come on, that was a joke! I misread my audience."
• It seems like everyone needs more friends: Dale, Max, Evan, Jordan.
• Max: "Rusty's concerned that you never leave the apartment. Are you avoiding something out there?"
  Dale: "Yeah, vegans and Coldplay fans."
• Max: "I think it's time to get passive-aggressive."
• Ash: "We go around in a circle and tell our most embarrassing moment."

  ZBZ girl: "Ashleigh, how will you choose?"
• Frannie: "You're such a creature of habit."

  Casey: "And you're such a creature!"
• Casey: "For your information, she's not drunk--she just athletic."
• Cyber church. Lol. That's great.
• Rusty loves Thelma and Louise.
• Ha ha, the KT's are loving Dale. He's making them nachos, pigs in a blanket, cookies... And they've been there for 12 hours!
• Dale telling Casey they should work together and trying to hold her hand.
• I find Dale intoxicating too. Ha ha.
• Why do Dale and Rusty have to switch apartments? Can't they just clean the place up and continue on as usual?
• Frannie: "I love this. I finally get to throw things at you without looking like a bad person."
• Hey, Casey and Max still do associate with each other occasionally! Who knew?
• Where's Rebecca? I bet that girl can throw hard. (Due to the poor quality of the video player, I'm honestly not sure if Rebecca was in that scene, but I didn't see her.)
• Oh no! Is Frannie's going to go after Max now? Nooooo. I do not like that look she was giving Casey and Max. After her scene with Evan, however, maybe the point of her staring at Casey and Max was not so much, "Hey, I'm going to go try to steal Max from Casey too!" but rather, "Hey, so that's what it looks like when your boyfriend actually likes you. Seems nice."
• I'm also not sure how I feel about this Dale and Sheila-the-building-manager thing. Between this and Krystin Ritter's character on Breaking Bad, it seems like a lot of building managers are getting a little too friendly with their tenants lately. I'm all for Dale getting a girl, but I'd feel better about it if she were a little closer to his age. Oh well, we'll see what happens.