Best. NYE. Ever.

Happy New Year's Eve! (And happy new year also.)

As a holiday treat, here's a link to my absolute favorite NYE (have people always been using that acronym, or is it a new thing? It drives me a little nuts) television moment ever:

The kiss, the confetti, the music, the set decoration--it's all perfection.

This television moment has singlehandedly led me to feel that no matter what I do for NYE, it will never quite be good enough.

100th Post! (And Happy Birthday!)

Happy 100th post to me. In honor of my own birthday a few weeks ago, I was planning to do a post on good birthday-themed TV episodes, but I never got around to it. However, I think it kind of applies to the blog's 100th post anniversary in that it's some sort of milestone, so I'll give it a whirl now. Plus, December birthdays always get overshadowed by the holiday season, so here's something a little special for all the people with December b-days. (And, yes, I realize that the chances of one of the 1.7 people who occasionally read this blog actually having a December birthday are not good, but oh well.)



Best Birthday TV Episodes:

• Rory turns 16, Gilmore Girls, season 1: Rory's b-day causes a stir among the Gilmore generations (what doesn't?) when she doesn't appreciate the snooty party Emily throws her. All is tenuously patched up though when Richard and Emily agree to attend Rory's Stars Hollow party...even thought Lorelai accidentally yells, "Get your ass in here!" at them.
• Michelle turns 3, Full House, season 3: It sure seemed like Michelle Tanner had a lot of birthdays (the sun sure seemed to shine on that child), especially since I can't remember Stephanie having any. Hmm. That's a topic for another time, I guess. Anyway, my favorite Michelle b-day was when she, Steph and Uncle Jesse accidentally get locked in a gas station on the day of her party. Things initially look dire, but Jesse and Steph dress like clowns, do a sock puppet routine and juggle, so everything turns out awesome.
• Caleb turns ??, The OC, season 1: Ok, I can't make a complication list without including something from The OC, but I sure wasn't going to include the season 3 ep where Ryan turns 18. Anything that seeped in (dead) Johnny, Sadie and Volchok will never find a place on any Best Of... list of mine. The season 1 ep where we meet Caleb for the first time, however, was great, even though it threw a big monkey wrench (in the form of Caleb's hot and very young girlfriend) into the blossoming Ryan/Marissa love affair. Episode highlights include some freaky foreshadowing about Sandy and Kirstin moving back to Berkeley, the obligatory witty banter, the first mention of the "I Wish I Was a Mermaid" poem and Seth and Summer's first kiss.
• Michael turns ??, The Office, season 2: Michael is never good at sharing the spotlight, especially on his birthday, so things go awry when Kevin has a skin cancer scare on Michael's big day. The episode features a trip to the skating rink, Dwight playing a Billy Joel song on a recorder (ugh), a Pam and Jim shopping trip and lots of funny quotes, including my favorite:

Michael: When I was seven, my mother hired a pony and a cart to come to my house for all the kids. And... I got a really bad rash. From the pony. And all the kids got to ride the pony. And I had to go inside, and my mother was rubbing cream on me, for probably three hours, and I never came outside. And by the time I came out, the pony was already in the truck and around the corner. So that was my worst birthday.

• George Michael turns 16, Arrested Development, season 3: I can't remember how much of GM's b-day is even really in the "Mr. F" episode, but I'm including it on the list because of this hilarious exchange:

Michael: Besides I already got George Michael the big present for his birthday...
George Michael: A suit! Dad, is it Jack Welch?
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premiere! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it!

• Fiona turns 21, Shameless, series 1: In the midst of a tearful scene in which he and Fiona profess their devotion to each other, Steve nearly gets carted away to prison when Tony busts him on his car thieving. Steve thankfully manages to talk his way out of the situation (as he usually can), and surprises birthday-girl Fiona by buying the house next door (and promptly blowing it up for the insurance money). Other highlights: Frank fakes his death, Monica and Norma make an appearance (until the kids kick them out) and Sheila's pregnant.

Ugh

This writers' strike is death. I'm watching people weigh themselves in national prime time television.

Getting to see any new scripted show now is a holiday in and of itself. Gossip Girl tomorrow night, everybody! (thank freaking holy goodness.)

Nobody puts Sark in a coffin.

Sorry, but that's definitely my version of "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Like Patrick Swayze, I am in no mood for this crap. And you thought I hated Hiro before...

Honestly, if I saw Masi Oka walking down the street, I might punch him... which kind of seems akin to kicking a puppy, but that's how annoyed I am.

Ok, yes, Adam/Kensei/Sark/David Anders was trying to unleash a virus to wipe out 93% of the human population, but, frankly, if all the other people in the Heroes world are as stupid and annoying as the ones with super powers, maybe trying to start fresh isn't such a bad idea.

All right, let me try to move on here, because in addition to my adamant belief that David Anders should never, ever be buried alive, I had a few other hang ups about this episode (not that that should surprise anyone)...

First of all, I acknowledge that the Heroes writers had to rush the conclusion of this chapter due to the writers' strike, but that doesn't really give them carte blanche to plagiarize Alias. Or maybe the explanation is that Hiro is a big Alias fan, because his method for disposing of immortal Adam was exactly the same as Jack's method for disposing of immortal Sloane. Can't say it was a bad idea for Hiro to outsource his thinking to Jack Bristow (how much better would this show be if Jack Bristow were doing the thinking for all these people?). The burying-the-immortal-guy plot twist wouldn't have been so obviously a rip off of the Alias series finale if they hadn't have done it to an actor who was in the Alias season finale. Duh. I now fully expect that after the strike, Elle will spend a season trying to figure out who killed her best friend.

Now, moving past even that, I still have problems with Adam's burial. He's "immortal"--as in when things happen to him that would kill other people, he does not ultimately die because, like Claire, his cells are able to regenerate. But, the regeneration does not happen until whatever it was that "killed" them is removed from their bodies (the metaphorical arrow must be pulled out of the body)... a.k.a. they do technically die for a while. So, Adam is not going to just lie there in the coffin forever and ever--he's going to suffocate. If someone were to then dig him up and re-expose him to air, then I guess he would come alive again. The point is, though, that the "poetic justice" of the immortal guy living forever in a coffin does not exist, Hiro (and Tim Kring). The way I see it, Hiro just avenged the quick death of a fairly annoying old guy with the slow, torturous death of an extremely beautiful guy...which, in my book, makes him now not just annoying, but also kind of monstrous.

Ok, I guess I've said my piece about the burial. The more I think about Tim Kring's comment, "We've given the audience no reason to believe that Adam can figure a way to get out of there," the more I think he's just trying to be coy and that Adam will probably find a way out of the box within the first episode back from the break.

***Sidebar: doesn't it seem like a bad thing that after Heroes' two big finales, Tim Kring has felt the need to give interviews to try to explain what happened? I occasionally like to complain about the Lost guys too, but their "radio silence" after the momentous Lost Season 3 finale was smart.***

Other stuff:

• Maya and Mohinder in the same place is almost too much stupid for one room to handle.
• Nathan landing while carrying Grunberg was hysterical! "Let's never speak of this again!"--by far the funniest thing ever on Heroes. So funny it seemed like it was in the wrong show and a piece of Chuck had somehow slipped in. Heroes would be oh-so-much more tolerable to me if it developed more of a sense of humor about itself.
• Grunberg doesn't know Hiro either? Did they not meet at some point last year in the square when they were all there trying to take down Sylar?
• So, Maya's death was reversed--thank goodness, because we would have all missed her so much.
• The "deaths" of Nikki and Nathan are both somewhat ambiguous. If that was the end of Nikki, I feel badly, even though I can't really stand her, because her death ended up not really having anything to do with the greater plot. Honestly, although Nathan is one of my more-liked characters on this show, I was kind of glad that someone shot him, if just to end that sappy speech!
• I can't really believe that they all thought that telling people the truth about their powers was the best course of action. Aside from the fact that there are still Old Gen-ers around who don't want that secret out, superheroes never divulge their secret identities! Haven't they ever seen The Incredibles? Your greatest asset is your secret identity! Come on!

All right, friends, that is the last snarky blog entry I'll write about Heroes until it returns in "2008." Hopefully. Though if the strike lasts too long, I may run out of material and have to revisit it and come up with new things to complain about.

Snarky 'Heroes' Retrospective

In honor of tonight's nebulous Heroes "finale" (season finale? arc finale?), I compiled a list of--mostly snarky--comments I made but didn't post about the past 5 or so eps of Heroes. I was going to break them up by episode, but since episodes of Heroes tend to all run together anyway, I'm just going to lump them all in one big list.

While the WGA strike shortening the seasons of all tv shows really stinks, I can't say I'm at all bummed to see the virus/assassinating the older generation story line come to an end prematurely.

I am worried that Adam/Kensei/Sark/David is going to meet an untimely (well, I guess it can't be 'untimely' if you're 400+ years old) demise tonight since we now know he's the superbad (to borrow a term from Seth Rogen, etc.). And I really think he's a goner since it was explained in a heavy-handed manner last week that even the "immortal" cannot survive getting their heads chopped off (so, just in case any of you were wondering if Mary Queen of Scots happened to have the same power as Adam and Claire and maybe survived her execution, there's your answer).

In any event, I have decided to be optimistic and have faith that, if he's killed off Heroes, David will be able to find work somewhere else in a project that doesn't make him speak Japanese/talk about viruses/act opposite Masi Oka. I will gratefully watch whatever it is.

Heroes comments:

• Less than 4 minutes into the episode and I'm already totally bored...
• Why does Claire and Hunter's big plan to disgrace the head cheerleader remind me of that movie with Winona Ryder and Christian Slater where they end up killing everyone?
• YEA! David punched Hiro in the back of the head! That's the best thing I've seen on Heroes since he punched Hiro in episode 1.
• Are "Wicked" and "Hairspray" still going to be playing on Broadway next June?
• So we "saved the world" and it just needs saved all over again? This is frustrating, but at least we've got something else to deal with than Japanese school boy crushes and taking down the head cheerleader...
• Opium stops Hiro from using his powers? Crafty, Sark, crafty.
• Oh, thank God! Sark is finally out of feudal Japan! And, even better, he seems to be the evilest of the evil! Score!
• Now what would have been awesome would be if Sark/Adam had turned out to be KB/Elle's dad! That would have been hilarious and weird (since there's no age difference) and they'd be the coolest evil team ever.
• Ohhhh, so in last season's finale, 'Peter was using all his powers to keep from exploding' therefore he couldn't fly by himself. Nice try at explaining the major logical gap 6 months later...
• This Latino twins storyline was still worthless four months ago.
• Yea, KB! Zap him!
• Can we go back to six years ago when David and Kristen got it on? That's what I want to see! Please!
• This Nikki personality disorder thing is actually pretty interesting. It doesn't explain the disappearing tattoo though. Maybe she just imagined it.
• The company shouldn't let their inmates fraternize with each other. It's a recipe for disaster.
• KB to Mohinder: "What's your super power? Punching bag?" Snap.
• Does Dweebs not mind that his daughter goes around acting like a little hussy?
• A show with David Anders and Kristen Bell as the first two actors listed in the credits should be so much better than this.

(photo: heroes-pictures.com)

The Highlight of My Day

TVGuide online posted this fantastic interview with Josh Schwartz, my resident superhero.

The interview focuses on the release of The O.C. dvd and is amazing. Highlights include Josh saying that, in retrospect, he wishes they'd kept the characters of Anna and Luke around much longer (I've often thought that their early departures were one of the main flaws of the show) and discussing the tonal similarities between The O.C. and his two new shows (two of my favorites) Gossip Girl and Chuck. Now if only he'd mentioned Chuck's spoof of The O.C.'s New Year's Eve party, I'd be over the moon.

And, the interview is ginormous. I read it during both my breaks at work today, and I still didn't finish it! So, yes, this was definitely the highlight of my day.

Ode to Chuck

Unlike other shows that premiered strong and then tailed off a little or a lot in subsequent episodes (cough, Reaper, cough), the quality of Chuck started high and has even been steadily improving. The two Bilson episodes were fantastic and Bryce's return was also stellar. Along with Gossip Girl, Chuck now tops my list of appointment television. So, the question becomes: is there any way Josh Schwartz could make a show that I wouldn't love?

Oh, Chuck, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Chuck is hilarious. I've got weeks worth of lists of the hilarity that is this show, but I'm going to try to narrow it down to a few examples.

The shining example (at which I'm still laughing) in "Chuck vs. the Nemesis" was:

Awesome: "So, Thanksgiving: we're all supposed to say what we're thankful for..."
Casey: "Pass."
Chuck: "I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead and is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend."
Morgan: "Wow, buddy, that was dark."
Awesome: "And specific!"

Highlights in "Chuck vs. the Imported Hard Salami":

Morgan: "She is the hottest piece we are ever going to get! ...Beg for her back, Charles!"

Chuck: "Normally, here on planet Earth, a man will consider his feelings for a woman before jumping atop her."

"Chuck vs. the Truth" was fantastic. I mean, come on: Marshall Flinkman as a former elite gymnast turned rogue intelligence agent? Awesome. (I shudder to think what the world will come to if Blaine Wilson or the Hamm twins turn rogue.) Some of the best lines were:

Morgan: "I am a very busy man-boy."

Ellie: "Chuck, you need a haircut--it's starting to make funny animal shapes... At the time it seemed really important to have a New Kids fanny pack... Words taste like peaches!"

Chuck: "God, [Sarah,] you're so pretty. And Casey, your jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself!

And my favorites from "Chuck vs. the Sandworm":

Casey: "I'm sick of feeling like Team Chuck's little fat kid."

Chuck: "We are--chronologically speaking--adults."

And Chuck and Morgan's endless debate about which sandwich they'd want if they were stranded on a desert island, especially Chuck's: "Think about it, Morgan, this is a desert island--mayonnaise doesn't fare well in the tropics!"

Chuck loves The O.C. almost as much as I do. There was my sneaking suspicion that a picture of Ryan and Marissa at Tijuana was hidden amongst the Intersect images and the shout out to "The O.C...season 2, which was underrated" during the awesome Buy More 'name-that-show' competition.

But The O.C. homage to end all homages came at the end of "Chuck vs. the Sandworm" when Chuck and Morgan reenacted shot-for-shot the iconic (to me, anyway) Ryan/Marissa New Year's Eve party moment. They played Finley Quaye's "Dice," Morgan sat looking glum, Chuck ran in out of breath, they spotted each other across the room, Chuck bumped into someone as he hurried toward Morgan and my heart was so full of love I could barely stand it.

Chuck is surprisingly sexy. "Chuck vs. the Imported Hard Salami" was hotter than anything on Grey's Anatomy in at least a year. Chuck (Zach Levi) and Lou (Rachel Bilson) made talking about sandwiches wildly hot. And then the Chuck/Sarah kiss in front of the ticking bomb was crazy sexy. Kudos to Zach Levi for finding a way to be both goofy and sexy. In case the past few years in popular culture haven't convinced you, here's some more proof that geeks are hot.

Chuck is extremely sweet. It is nice to watch a show about a guy who loves his sister and his friends and is a little meek and underachieving and a lot adorable. It just is.

Blogging Resumed!

Hmm, well, I didn't mean to finish blogging the season premieres only to go silent for the next month, but that seems to be what happened. So I'd like to apologize to my (nonexistent) regular readers.

I've considered trying to pass off my laziness as a statement of solidarity to the writers' strike, but I'm not sure that anyone would buy that. In any event, go writers! And everyone keep your figures crossed that the writer/producer talks that resumed today get this strike resolved soon before it causes any more damage for tv workers and obsessive fans.

Good sites for info of the WGA strike:

• LA Times Show Tracker
• United Hollywood
• Speechless Without Writers
• Late Show Writers On Strike
• TV Guide Strike Watch
• Huffington Post Blog

Premiere Watch '07: Round Up!!!

Well, I'm exhausted. Who knew that blogging about television could be so tiring ;-) It sure didn't help matters that there are now about a billion shows that I wanted to a least sample this season. Here are my rankings for the first episodes of almost everything a whole lot of new and returning shows (scale of 1 to 10):

Pilots:

• Pushing Daisies...............9.5
• Reaper..............................8.5
• Chuck...............................8.0
• Gossip Girl.......................7.5
• Dirty Sexy Money..........7.0
• Samantha Who?..............7.0
• Aliens in America............7.0
• Moonlight.........................6.5
• Kid Nation........................6.5
• Private Practice...............5.0
• Big Shots...........................2.5
• Viva Laughlin...................1.0

Returning Series:

• The Office.........................8.0
• 30 Rock.............................8.0
• Ugly Betty.........................7.5
• Grey's Anatomy...............7.0
• Brothers and Sisters........6.0
• Men In Trees....................6.0
• Heroes................................5.5
• Desperate Housewives....5.0

Whew. It seems like no sooner did we wade through all the premieres, than it's time for November Sweeps! Oh well, bring on the weddings, births, deaths, surprise pregancies, etc....

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Heroes Musings...

Random musings about a Heroes episode (does it really matter which one?):

• If the Heroes execs think that in a show down between Milo and Kristen Bell, the audience is going to root for Milo, they are extremely misguided.
• Whoa, Grunberg expecting Nathan to carry him and fly to Philadelphia is asking a heck of a lot.
• It's not good when the politician is more badass than the cop.
• Matt has to be reminded to read minds when he's looking for answers? For crying out loud...
• It's kind of a shame that Heroes can apparently only afford that one roof top set...it's getting a bit overused.
• Yep, Micah doesn't understand Nikki's power either.
• Despite being telekinetically transported into this prison, Matt still seems to think that he's in an actual real world prison...stupid.
• I do enjoy watching two of the Heroes beat the crap out of each other. Any two will do.
• Could David Anders have a smaller part on this show? Come on. Even KB isn't getting all that much.
• Micah's cousin says, "I'm just looking for some answers," and Mohinder shows up one minute later and says "I have some answers." Oh jeez.
• Milo needs to TONE DOWN THE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.

Premiere Watch '07: Viva Laughlin

Viva Laughlin:
Well, it wasn't easy, but CBS managed to put a show on at 10 p.m. on Thursday that was significantly worse than Big Shots.

I didn't think it could be done. Major congratulations are in order for Les Moonves, etc. The congratulations will, however, be quickly followed by questioning along the likes of: "WTF were you thinking?"

Ok, I don't particularly love musicals, but I really don't like whatever this was. It wasn't a musical because the actors were only kind of singing along with the actual songs. And they doing it in a half-assed manner reminiscent of Britney Spears at the VMAs. You couldn't even freaking hear them some of the time.

As stupid/bad as the songs were, I felt like there weren't enough of them because the spoken dialogue and plot were so much more awful! And, dude, the main character guy is replusive. And not in a House/Dexter/Boston Legal kind of way, but in a there's-nothing-remotely-likeable-or-redeemable-about-this-person-at-all kind of way.

I felt badly for some of the actors in the show who can do so much better (and have done better in the past): Senator McAllistor's brother from Brothers and Sisters (a.k.a. Rex from Days of Our Lives), Sherry Tinsdale from Gilmore Girls, and Professor Landry from Veronica Mars. I feel particularly badly for Prof. Landry because he was on Pushing Daisies just last week! That's a long way to fall in a very short amount of time.


Most of the time while watching Viva Laughlin, I honestly could not believe what my eyes were seeing and my ears were hearing. And not at all in a good way.

Premiere Rating: 1 / 10
(Well, I know it was worse than Big Shots, which got a 2.5, but I'm not really sure where to place this one in the 0 to 2 range. I'll go with a 1 because I suppose that somehow it could have been worse: they could have sung only Spice Girls and Celine Dion songs, they could have played a transexual hooker plot line for laughs, they could have aired a blank screen for an hour, etc.)

Premiere Watch '07: Samantha Who?

Samantha Who?

Well, this is my last premiere review of the fall season, unless I blog Viva Laughlin for some evil fun tomorrow...which, face it, I'm totally going to do.

Anyway, Samantha Who? was a pretty darn delightful show, which is much more than anyone can say for ABC's other new comedies (Cavemen, Carpoolers), which I couldn't even sit through. I enjoy seeing Christina Applegate back on television, as I was a bit of a Jessie fan back in the day. At times, Christina seemed just a little over-the-top in her portrayal of Sam, but I guess she was going for the always-on-the-verge-of-a-freak-out thing that is popular among female TV characters (and Chuck from Chuck).

After the first episode, I feel pretty sorry for "new" Sam since she's stuck with "old" Sam's scary parents and friends. I love Gilmore Girls' Sookie, but her character was pretty freaky on this show. And, let's just say, if that's how Jennifer Esposito acts in real life (I assume it's not), then I can see why Bradley Cooper divorced her.

I did love Barry Watson in this show. I think he's becoming one of those people who just get cuter and cuter all the time (or maybe he just seems cuter since I don't have to be watching 7th Heaven to see him). It was a nice twist that Todd had already tried to break up with pre-coma Sam. That revelation made a lot of sense because he didn't really seem all that into having her around. I also liked how all the messages on his answering machine were his friends bad-mouthing Sam.

I hope we get to see more flashbacks to pre-coma Sam, because she seems pretty entertaining in her horribleness.

Funniest Part:

Sam: "You raised me. You made me who I am!"

Sam's mom: "What a horrible thing to say!"

Sam's dad: "Apologize to your mother."

What I liked most about this pilot is that it made it seem like there's plenty more material to cover in this story. So hopefully the show won't peter out in the next few episodes, like I think Reaper sadly has.

But I would be remiss not to mention that this show is almost exactly 13 Going On 30 without the fairy dust and the "Thriller" dance sequence.

Premiere Rating: 7 / 10

(photo: abc.com)

NYC Gossip Girl "Sighting"

Hey there, TV lovers. Gossip Girl here with all the latest scoop on your favorite Upper East Siders (and Upper East Sider wannabes).

Spotted: B, N, S, D, C and J all hanging out and looking gorgeous in Times Square Monday morning. Who knew they travel in a pack now?

XOXO... Gossip Girl.

(Seriously, I was in NYC on Monday, but what stinks is that I was in Bryant Park, but Jennifer Garner and Violet were in Central Park. Crap. And to make matters more frustrating, apparently Tuesday in Bryant Park they filmed scenes from the Sex and the City movie. Where is my luck?)

Premiere Watch '07: Men In Trees

Men In Trees:
It's amazing how many "previously on Men In Trees..." scenes they have to show after being off the air for 8 months.

Hey, Sarah's kid is back...and he's a little dopey. You'd think growing up in Alaska would have made him a little tougher.

Marin sure gets herself in some crappy situations here in Alaska. It seems she finds herself lost in the woods in the midst of some sort of natural disaster every other week.

Marin can be so pathetic sometimes... Trying to pull a tree out of the ground? Please. I know it's just one of those aggressive, hyper-literal Men In Trees metaphors, but this one's a little silly.

Why wasn't Cash holding on to Marin while they were wandering through the woods in a very low visibility environment?

How does Annie find such cool shoes in Elmo, Alaska? I can't find cool shoes in Pennsylvania, for frak's sake.

Patrick: "Maybe there are some things we need to work on...like not yelling at little boys."

Whoa, that little nod at the end between Cash and Jack almost made it look like they are a little into each other... Hmm...

It felt like this episode contained a lot of filler, but that's understandable because they had to write a new episode to "reintroduce" us to the show after such a long hiatus. I'm still excited to see the last year's unaired episodes--I'm sure they'll be a lot going on in them.

Premiere Rating: 6.0 / 10

Gossip Girl Takes on Heroes

On Monday I watched Heroes and was struck (yet again) by how many freaking characters are actually on that show. So I was thinking that we almost need someone to help us keep them all straight, and then I had a brainstorm that Heroes needs to adopt a Gossip Girl-esque narrator (and since Kristen Bell's already on their payroll, what's stopping them?). Gossip Girl would help viewers keep track of the 7 million characters and, as an added bonus, through in snarky comments. And let's face it, if anyone deserves some snarky comments thrown at them, it's the people on Heroes. Here's my attempt at Gossip Girl summarizing this week's Heroes episode:

Hey, everybody! Gossip Girl here, bringing you all the dirt on your favorite (or least favorite, as the case may be) heroes. Sorry, folks--it doesn't matter how evolutionarily advanced you are or what magical powers you have, I still know everything you're up to...

Spotted: C-Bear and her new creepy boy-toy on a romantic rendezvous in the clouds. That's right, gossipers--C-Bear's new stalker/boyfriend has the same power as her bio-daddy N! They say girls always marry their fathers... Stay tuned though, because it turns out C-Bear's other beloved daddy kidnapped said sketchy boy back in the days he worked for the evil empire. This should make for some rousing family dinners!

Spotted: PP getting his Black Donnelly on with a crime family in Ireland. That's right--the scope of Gossip Girl's reach knows no geographical limits. It seems PP is content being an accomplice to robbery, kissing Irish girls and *not* wearing a shirt as often as possible. Are his days of mopey, crime-fighting idealism over? Could we be so lucky?

Spotted: M and Mama N leaving Las Vegas. If you didn't see them, don't feel bad--they were having the exact same conversation they've been having during at least 5 other sightings.

Spotted: The Terrible Twins in a Mexican prison. Girl Twin did her mascara-of-death act on the guards to spring her brother from the slammer. Somebody needs to hook her up with some waterproof Maybelline stat! Luckily, Boy Twin managed to quell her evil and oh-so-nebulous power, bringing everyone back to life. Twinsies made a break for it, taking with them the ass clown from one cell over, because apparently I don't have enough people to keep track of. Don't worry, fellow hero-worshipers, Gossip Girl is not easily deterred.

Spotted: H still in feudal Japan. You got it--Gossip Girl transcends both space and time. Seems H has succeeded in transforming his oh-so-wickedly-hot folk hero into a warrior, but still can't bring himself to leave without a certain princess. Sorry, H, since she's not blind, your chances aren't very good against that super-hottie. Time to come home to reunite with bff A, who is dangerously close to losing his job. A, I know you're reading this...it's time to stop reading gossip blogs and start doing your job!

As for the rest of you, stay tuned. Gossip Girl is amazing, but it's hard for even her to keep track of all of these chromosomal mutants. It is easier now that none of them are actually doing anything interesting.

Until next time... You know you love me.
XOXO -- Gossip Girl

(photos: nbc.com)

Thursday TV: Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, ABBA, etc.

Highlights from another funny night of Thursday television:
Ugly Betty:
Season 2, Episode 3

Amanda maintained that that if she and Daniel are half-siblings, them having sex was only wrong half of the time.

Stressed-out Henry yelled at Mark and Amanda, garnering an unintended response:
Amanda:"Did he just get really hot?"
Marc:"I've never been more attracted to someone in my whole life."

Daniel tried teaching Justin to play basketball: "Ok, let's try again. Maybe lose the bracelets, I don't know."


The Office: "Launch Party"
I enjoyed the group's avid interest in seeing whether the little box that moves around in the screen saver ever actually goes into the corner of the screen. I've definitely watched for that before too.

And, there's something so right in the world when Andy Bernard sings ABBA (with back-up singers via speakerphone no less). Angela should lock that down ;-)


30 rock: "Jack Gets in the Game"
Jack: "Oh, come on, what are we, back at college freshman year? Let's go to the common room and talk about Apartheid."

The Best Tracy Moment is a tie between his belief that his vanity license plate, "ICU81MI," is "hilarious," and the clip from his novelty party song, "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" (ha ha, "boys becoming men / men becoming wolves!").

Liz was also great in this episode, with: "You can't be a real women in this country. It's like those dove commercials never happened!" and defending Jenna's talent, saying, "This woman was a Mouseketeer, ma'am."

Tuesday Wrap-Up: The Devil, Mariska Hargitay, and Sabrina

Reaper:
This bug stuff was really unpleasant. I guess cockroaches on your toothbrush is reason #4053 not to sell your soul to the devil.

The best creepy Sock comment of the episode would have to be: "I was thinking after that, we could get a drink, have a few laughs, maybe launder some soiled clothing." Eew.

The highlight of this episode was that the devil's slide show presentation included a photo of him and Mariska Hargitay at the Emmys. Poor Mariska!

Speaking of Mariska...

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit:
Watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Cassiday "Beaver" Casablancas argue about who raped whom is all kinds of creepy. I have to hand it to Kyle Gallner, Beaver can be one messed-up dude when he wants to be. Of course he's the creep and Sabrina is good! Duh. I was just hoping that Harvey would show up at some point. I wonder how Harvey is doing...

Wow, L&O: SVU is ridiculous. It just layers one unpleasant thing on after another for a whole hour. Ick. What's even sillier is that the events of this show would take place over months and months in real life. And none of the main characters seem to have personalities.

I really need to stop watching the Law & Orders when they have guest stars I like. Last year I thought Criminal Intent was a disaster, and SVU is not much easier to take.

Chuck: More of a Shoe Occasion

Chuck:
Episode 3

This was a really good episode. Sending Chuck on missions a la Alias season 1 is genius.

Bullets:

• I liked the scene with Ellie, Morgan, and Awesome debating Chuck's future.
• Chuck: "So, sneakers? Or is this more of a shoe occasion?"
• Chuck's becoming more and more Seth-Cohen sarcastic.
• Chuck learning to tango from Captain Awesome was great.
• Waterman: "I'm too young to retire; too rich to work."
  Chuck: "That's quite a pickle you find yourself in, Waterman."
• Chuck: "It has a Bob Ross-ian quality. Bob Ross? You know, the guy from PBS..."
• Chuck: "Right, apparently, I learned the girl's part of this dance."
• Villain: "Now I have to kill you."
  Chuck: "Have to? No, no, I disagree. I disagree vehemently!"
• Chuck's boss gave him extra points for style since he fixed the computers in his tux.
• Casey: (after throwing a microwave at a bad guy) "Now that's what I call moving some merchandise."

Thursday Recap

Ugly Betty:
Another good episode. The best part was when Wilhelmina confronted Betty on the roof and Mark was making thunder noise with the metal sheet. Ha!

Other highlights:

• Mark: "Yeah, yeah, and I wish I knew Marlon Brando before he was fat." (Me too.)
• Christina: "Ten bucks says there's a coat in there made of dalmatian puppies."
• Since when does Bradford attend the Luke Danes School of Postponing Your Wedding To Reconnect with Your Long-Lost Daughter?

The Office: "Dunder Mifflin Infinity"
I loved this episode even more than last week's! I take back what I said about hour-long episodes of The Office...I enjoyed every second of this one. So many highlights:

• Can't believe Toby spilled the beans on Jim and Pam. He's so vengeful ;-)
• Dwight: "I don't see it. I think they both could do better."
• Michael: "All grown up and no place to go."
• Jim and Pam are still way too cute to stand. Air high-fives for crying out loud!
• Phyllis: "I couldn't see your hands."
• Jan and Ryan's little showdown. (Jan: "I love the beard; keep it forever.")
• Kelly telling Ryan she's pregnant. Ohhh, Kelly...
• Mr. Dunder is Uncle Mickey from DooL! Ha, and Mr. Mifflin killed himself.
• Michael and Dwight driving into the lake was hilarious! Dwight: "It can't mean that! That's a lake! There's no road here!"
• Ryan asking Pam out, saying, "Wear something nice." Pam turning him down and Jim's little wave when they were talking about him.
• Michael: "WHERE ARE THE TURLES?!"
• Michael: "I drove into a [bleeping] lake! Why? Because a machine told me to. A machine told me to drive in a lake and I did it."

Grey's Anatomy:
This episode was decidedly better than last week's premiere. There were, after all, no deer for Izzie to defibrillate.

I thought that the crystal meth baby storyline was particularly affecting, especially because it allowed us to see Alex Karev, champion of all babies, back in action. I hope that Grey's doesn't forget that he was heading toward switching his specialty from plastics to neonatal surgeries. Unfortunately, that storyline, which I really liked, becomes a lot less manageable now that Addison is gone. Anyway, I thought he did a great job diagnosing what was wrong with the baby, although I wonder how he knew what crystal meth smells like. And, dare I say it, I might be coming around to the horrendous facial hair.

It was also nice to see that Marissa Cooper's yard boy is still finding work. I thought his performance as the "I'm not that guy" drug addict was very good. I never cease to be astounded when "D.J." shows up on other things and is actually a pretty good actor, because those scenes between him and Mischa were freaking painful on The O.C.

And, I'd be remiss to not celebrate the guest appearance of Ben Vereen, whom I have loved since I was about two years old and an avid fan of Zoobilee Zoo.

What irked me (and only me, from what I can tell from reading critics and other blogs) was Mama Burke's omniscient observations about everyone who stopped to talk to her. First of all, she was out of line dressing down Meredith for what she said when announcing that Burke and Christina's wedding was off. Look, lady, if your son leaves his fiancee at the alter when the whole wedding was completely his idea, then he has coming to him whatever her best friend feels like saying. And I was also bothered that she seemed to instantly ascertain Derek and George's romantic situations...especially since I'm still not entirely sure what their problems are.

Premiere Watch '07: 30 Rock

A few weeks after its fantastic 1st season won the Emmy for Best Comedy, 30 Rock picked up right where it left off last year. The second season opener featured a guest appearance by Jerry Seinfeld, and if his appearance on the show can help to hook more viewers on 30 Rock, that will be a victory for us all.

30 Rock's strength is that, like The Office and Arrested Development, it has a great cast of kooky characters with very well-defined niches. Tina Fey is one of my heroes, I've previously documented my unnatural love for Tracy Morgan, Kenneth and Jenna are both perfect for what they are, and Alec Baldwin could not nail this role any harder.

My favorite Tracy moment of episode 1 was when he was explaining how he likes to help transvestite prostitutes better their lives (encouraging them to go to computer school, study to be a court reporter, etc.).

Best line: "You can be a freaky-deeky and still do data entry!"

In a season when several pilots (Big Shots, Dirty Sexy Money) are squeezing all the sleazy jokes they can out of transvestite hookers, it was wildly refreshing to see 30 Rock take the whole theme in an entirely different direction. Thank you, Tina Fey et. al., for having a fresh voice.

Other highlights:

• I enjoyed the computerized Jerry Seinfeld guest appearances in all NBC shows. It seems like everyone else has ended up in Heroes anyway, so why not him?
• Jack: "She needs to lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television." (What's frightening is that, if you think about it, he's completely right.)
• Kenneth was so cute grinning at Jerry Seinfeld.
• Tracy: "Ask my wife if she's sleeping with D.L. Hughley." (Hmm, I'm thinking that this isn't a random mention since D.L. was on NBC's other 'sketch show' show Studio 60.)
• Jack: "Ha ha! You're going to buy NBC! Like you have $4 million just lying around..." (Ouch.)
• Jack: "There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, Lemon."
• Liz sounds like Jerry Seinfeld when she cries.
• Tracy (when he sees Liz in the white wedding dress): "Oh no! Did a Korean person die?"

This episode was a promising start to season 2. As far as I'm concerned, Tina Fey can take over the world.

Premiere Rating: 8 / 10

Wednesday Wrap-Up

Gossip Girl: "Poison Ivy"
This episode was out to prove to us that not only are these kids rich and pretty, but they're also smart. At least some of them are... it doesn't look like Nate's going to be winning any academic decathlons any time soon. I loved though that one of Blair's lackeys turned out to be some sort of science genius! I didn't see that coming.

Best Dan Line:
"Dartmouth is my dream. And I've never asked Dartmouth, but I believe it's dreaming of me."

I seriously love this show:

• Jenny's singing group performing an a Capella version of "Glamorous" was hilarious.
• In my opinion, Nate has very few redeemable qualities, but, in his defense, his father is one ginormous tool.
• If Serena gets into Brown, I wonder if she'll ever run into Summer Roberts, another of Josh Schwartz's creations.
• Look at the belt Blair's wearing with her field hockey uni!
• Gym teacher: "I'm running out of colors here, Blair."
• Chuck: "Why should I be chosen to be an usher? I'm Chuck Bass."
• These kids are phenomenally good at social networking.
• The Ostroff Treatment Center is run by Dr. Donald Ostroff. I'm sure the similarities between his name and that of Dawn Ostroff, head of The CW, aren't coincidental, but I'm not really sure what we're supposed to make of them.
• I liked Eric's attempts to sell his "trip to Florida" cover story: "Go Marlins!" and "Save the manatees!"
• Blair reached a whole new level of bitchiness tonight outing Serena for her alleged rehab stint. At least Blair got her facts wrong and didn't reveal that it was actually Serena's little brother in the center... that would have really been a new low for her, surpassing even the mention of Cedric the Cabbage Patch Doll.
• Mrs. van der Woodsen was a little heavy-handed with the application of her blue eye make-up today...
• Why does Nate always sleep on Chuck's couch?

Dirty Sexy Money: "The Lions"

Ooh, more intrigue among the rich of NYC. It's kind of intense watching all the excess and debauchery of GG and then DSM. We still don't know much about who killed Dutch, and Tripp gave Nick a lead that is steering him in other directions, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Darlings end up right in the middle of it again.

We got some interesting insight into Tripp's character in this episode. He knows about his wife's multi-decade affair with his best friend, but still acts as though he doesn't to spare her feelings. That's actually kind of sweet. The scene where he told Nick to try her birthday as the combination for Dutch's briefcase was wrenching. I wonder if maybe one or two of the "Darlings" might turn out to actually be Nick's half siblings. That would be scary.

Highlights and observations:

• Nick's daughter is not Dakota Fanning's little sister anymore.
• Juliet: "I want to be normal-sized and independent."
• Rev. Brian: "She'll take you back if I have to shoot you at her with a cannon."
• Tripp talking Swedish to the illegitimate son and then saying, "Is he deaf? Was he in the train with his parents when it crashed?"

Private Practice: "In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor..."

Ok, so, Private Practice: take 3. I'd say this episode was the best so far, but still not great. They really seemed to stumble onto something there with the switched baby story. All of the guest actors playing the parents of the babies were great and the scene between the two mothers was devastating. If the episode had ended there, I'd have been left thinking, "Hmm, that was pretty good!" But the episode did NOT end there, no matter how much we wished it had.

Instead, we had to sit through 10+ more minutes of the annoying main characters being annoying. To a person, the main characters on this show are mopey, whiny and pathetic. I loved it when Cooper told Violet that her "fatal flaw" was "honesty." Because here I've been thinking that her fatal flaw is extreme, paralyzing patheticness! She needs to get a grip now. The guy who dumped her cannot possibly be worth all of this. Also badly in need of a grip is Naomi, whose character was strong and tough in last year's backdoor pilot, but is now just a more surly version of Violet.

And Tim Daly's "I like real women" speech just seemed like awful writing to me. It came out of absolutely nowhere and you could just tell that there was no reason this man would feel the need to give this women this long, heartfelt speech other than the fact that the people behind PP thought that their audience of 40-something women would eat it up. Gag, gag, gag.

And I'm not sure I'd want my doctor to be wearing flip flops.

Pilot Watch '07: Pushing Daisies

Basically everyone in the world who has seen an advanced screener of Pushing Daisies has been extolling its virtues as loudly as they can for months. Thus, my expectations for this pilot probably couldn't have been any higher. Fortunately, "Pie Lette" (how cute is that name?) every bit lived up to the hype.

Pushing Daisies was charming almost beyond belief. The storybook feel seemed very unique. The characters were quirky and likable (not just quirky). The story and plot devices were inventive. The dialogue was snappy and wittier than I was expecting. The cinematic value was top-notch, with gorgeous, vibrant colors and a dream-like quality. The whole thing was as sweet as the pies they sell at the Pie Hole.

Pushing Daisies reminded me a lot of a Tim Burton film. It seemed very much along the lines of Edward Scissorhands and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: strange but unexpectedly touching. It's a formula that I warmly welcome to television.

If I had to make one complaint, it would be that the narrated back story seemed to last a while and it might have taken them just a bit too long to get Lee Pace on the screen. But once he appeared, the show was good to go.

Something about Ned and Chuck reminded me of Ed and Carol from Ed. I guess the actors look vaguely similar (in their faces), but I think it was more the purity of the love story. Ned remembering his time with young Chuck was a lot like Ed remembering the time he first saw Carol and she took his breath away.

I also really enjoyed Chi McBride in this episode. The Emerson/Ned banter reminded me of Shawn and Gus from Psych. Emerson and Ned made Pushing Daisies much funnier that I was anticipating.

Other thoughts:

• The dog looked pretty good for having been run over by a tractor trailer. And I do find it unrealistic that Ned managed to keep his dog for 20 years without ever touching it, even by accident.
• Gotta love a show that uses pretty language like, "Chuck came ready-made from the Play Doh Fun Factory of life."
• Ned's accidental responsibility for Chuck's dad's death is reminiscent of Lana Lang's parents being killed in the meteor shower that brought Clark Kent to earth on Smallville.
• What did people make of two seemingly healthy neighbors just keeling over and dying on the exact same day?
• I really, really want Cantaloupe the Chow! Cantaloupe is an adorable name for a dog. It's right up there with Saffron from Damages.
• Logistical questions: Does just one person die for everyone who stays alive or do more people keep dying? And assuming Ned brings them back to life and never touches them again, do the "alive again" people live indefinitely or could they die again?
• For some reason, I really love the name "Boutique Travel Travel Boutique."
• Ned: "I hate to be a bad host, but I'm kind of exhausted from chasing your coffin..."
• Chuck's last name is Charles! Perhaps we're related :-)
• Ned: "It was most definitely on the menu; it was the Special of the Day--can we drop this metaphor?"
• Emerson: "We all have childhood issues--I've got the full subscription."
• Emerson: "Bitch! I was in proximity!" (I was also afraid that keeping Chuck alive would have caused Emerson to die, so thankfully that was not the case.)
• I haven't heard "petard" used since Ed.
• This pilot was showed in the opposite manner of "limited commercial interruptions." It seemed like there was a commercial break every 4 minutes.
• Chuck's aunt: "I can hold my breath for a long time." He he, she was a synchronized swimmer after all.
• Morgue guy: "Aren't you the dog expert?"

Basically flawless.

Premiere Rating: 9.5 / 10
(I deducted 0.5 just because I'm sure there could have been something that would have made me love the episode even more...like a guest appearance by James McAvoy or something.)

Reaper: Week 2

Reaper: "Charged"

While I still really enjoyed this show, I thought this episode dropped off quite a bit from the pilot. It seemed to drag on for a while; it felt like Sam took forever just to open the stinking devil box.

The episode was still funny though. And it contained kind of a nasty little shout out to Delaware, which I feel I should mention after spending 4 years there:

Sam: "Ben, can you find Delaware on a map?" Ouch.

Premiere Watch '07: Aliens in America

Aliens in America offered up a pretty good pilot. There were definitely some funny and sweet moments. The teenage misfit theme of the show reminded me vaguely of Malcolm in the Middle, but I think Malcolm was funnier than AiA.

Raja was a highlight. He had a very good delivery of both his comedic and emotional material. The scene with him being shanghaied in his classroom was really good. I was a little lukewarm on Justin, though, because he seemed over-the-top at times ("Why would you say that about Grammie?!"). He did have several of the funniest lines, like when he said he told Raja things he hadn't even told the "guys from chorus," and when he was so excited that one boy in the locker room took a step to the side so he could fit in the circle.

I thought that Scott Patterson a.k.a. Luke Danes was miscast... which, perhaps, is why he wasn't originally the guy cast in this role. Maybe the problem, though, is that I'll always find Scott Patterson to be miscast in any role that doesn't involve him wearing a backwards baseball hat and a flannel shirt and yelling at everyone.

Oh and I also have to point out how creepy it was that Justin's guidance counselor was Clarence Wiedman from Veronica Mars! That guy is so scary! I'd be terrified if he was my guidance counselor!

Maybe the problem here wasn't AiA, but the fact that I'm having misfit/nerdy boy overload. Almost every new show I'm watching is about a misfit/nerdy boy (Chuck, Reaper, AiA, Pushing Daisies, Gossip Girl, etc.). I'm normally all about the misfit/nerdy boys, but even I think this might be excessive. Where are all the misfit/nerdy girls on TV?

So, good start for Aliens in America, but I wouldn't say that I'm addicted (yet).

Premiere Rating: 7 / 10

Week 2: Chuck and Heroes

Chuck:
"Chuck Versus the Helicopter"

Pretty good episode #2 for Chuck. I liked that we got a little more information about what in the heck is going on... Bryce was a "rogue" agent, which is why the NSA had no qualms about taking him out. And after a stressful hour of not knowing who to trust, we are now fairly sure that Sarah is not also a rogue agent. So that's good.

This episode was probably not quite as funny as the pilot, but I enjoyed myself. I liked how they made poor Chuck exist in a state of panic for basically the entire episode. That's gotta be exhausting. The standout moment of the episode was when Chuck, desperate to keep his family from eating the souffle he believes to be poisoned, accidentally successfully pulls the table cloth out from under everything on the table.

Bullets (which is an appropriate term to use when reviewing a spy show):

• Now Chuck has a voice over too? I don't like it. Thankfully it only served to get us into the episode and then quickly disappeared.
• They sure played the heck out of Spoon's "Don't Make Me a Target" and Gnarls Barkley's "Gone Daddy Gone."
• As they watch Chuck and Morgan play matador and bull: NSA lady, "Our national secrets were sent to an idiot." CIA guy, "At least they weren't sent to his friend."
• Holy crap!!! Chuck knows what happened to Oceanic Flight 815! As in, the plane that crashed on Lost! This is blowing my mind: Lost is on a different network! But, hey, could Chuck please just tell us what happened to the plane, because that would save us a lot of time and frustration? (And--reading too much into this--Chuck got his knowledge from the government, so the government must know about Flight 815, which adds yet another creepy layer to the Lost saga.)
• The bomber should hide the incinerators better. If you sit the thing right on the backseat, of course people are going to find it in time to get out of the car.
• I liked when Sarah said, "You sister is awesome," because, of course, Captain Awesome had to concur.
• Chuck: "That was the doctor, huh? He's probably not dead."

Heroes: "Lizards"

Ugh. I think I liked this episode even less than last week's. At least I had lowered my expectations accordingly.

I really don't like much of anybody on this show anymore. I like Kensei, but I'm sure I probably wouldn't if anyone other than David Anders were playing him. I'm especially annoyed with Claire. I kind of want "The Company" to find her and subject her to lots of tests just so she'll learn her lesson. And I'm so over all the Petrellis.

Oh, one character I still like is Mrs. Bennet. She had the line of the night:

"We do have a colander, dear. We don't need to get flashy."

Other:

• What newspaper would publish a photo of a someone who had just fallen to their death lying in a pool of blood on the pavement?
• Ando and Parkman have never met?
• Well, telling Maya that she's full of evil was really helpful, healer. Because these people weren't whiny enough.
• Does "I wouldn't do that!" in Japanese really sound like, "Wooaboodaboodaboo?" Because how could anyone take themselves seriously saying that?
• I find Hiro's antics just so delightfully amusing... [Now infuse that statement with as much sarcasm as you can, and you'll see where I'm coming from.]
• Maya needs waterproof mascara. That stuff is dripping all over her face! ;-)
• So the assassin appears to have all the powers, like Peter and Sylar. I assume it's neither of them though. There, I tried to care about something that's going on in this show. Now I'll go back to mocking it...
• Geez. Thank goodness Sark/Kensei appears to have the same power as Claire, or Heroes would have just lost me as a viewer. But, why does Hiro do such a poor job of using his power? He can stop time, yet he just let the arrows fly right into Sark. Come on.
• Mohinder never met the Haitian?
• Eeeeew, eew, eew! I so did not need to see Claire cut off her toe with scissors. But, um, how powerful are those scissors anyway? They cut through freaking bone!

Premiere Watch '07: Moonlight

I didn't really know what to expect from the Moonlight pilot since it sounds like they've been reworking it until very recently. I've never been a big vampire show fan. I did like the very few episodes of Angel I've seen, but I think that was primarily because David Boreanaz is cute. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by Moonlight. I guess it's not the best show ever, but I was entertained and I think it could turn into something pretty cool. It's definitely better than NBC's Friday night offering of Las Vegas.

First things first, it was nice to have Jason Dohring back. It seemed like his Moonlight character was basically Logan Echolls as a 400-year-old vampire, and that's fine with me. So now we know that there are apparently at least two ways to become the "obligatory psychotic jackass":

• a) being the abused son of a famous movie star, or
• b) being a 400-year-old rich vampire.

Interesting how that works out. I thought it was impressive that although Logan was only in about 10 minutes of the episode, he got about 85% of all the good one-liners. That's Logan for you. My favorites were:

• "You're only 90; you haven't been chased through the streets with torches."
• "What is this, like nonfat soy vegan blood?"
• "Now we got the food mouthing off about the farmer."

And, I loved that in addition to giving Jason Dohring another job, the Moonlight people gave Veronica Mars fans a shout-out by having the murdered girl be a student at Hearst College, which is none other than the college of choice for Veronica, Logan, Mac, Wallace, and Piz. But, seriously, how messed up is this poor fictional college? First there were the rapes, than the murder of the dean, and now the vampire-esque murders of two students? Geez. Stay the heck away from this school, people! And especially its teaching assistants, who as it turned out were behind the dean's murder and the murder of the two girls! (Seriously, how great would it have been if Mick had run across a certain tiny blond P.I. also investigating the murders?)

Another thing I loved about Moonlight, as the hardcore Alias fan that I am, was the appearance of Marshall Flinkman as Beth's camera guy! Yea for Marshall! I had just wondering when and where he'd show up again. Now Moonlight just has to increase his role a bit. Heck, let's recenter the show around Marshall and Logan. That would be hilarious.

Otherwise, Mick (Alex O'Loughlin) was easy on the eyes and did a pretty good job as the broody hero. I was left a bit confused though about whether Beth is Mick's love interest or like a surrogate daughter. Because if she's both, that's pretty gross. And I don't see how she could have witnessed that epic vampire-on-vampire battle and doesn't really seem to remember it. Seriously, she of all people should know vampires exist.

And I could live without the Celine Dion and Evanescence...although I guess I should just be thankful that they didn't use "Young Folks" too.

Premiere Rating: 6.5 / 10

Premiere Watch '07: Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters

Desperate Housewives:
Well, I guess this episode was better than most of last season, but I still wasn't really feeling it. I guess I've gotten sick of these ladies and their myriad of secrets. I mean, is it wrong that I wish Edie had actually offed herself? At least now she's back to being the villain and we aren't expected to sympathize with her. I still largely despise Gabby. Susan's antics feel tired to me now. And Lynette has cancer, which is not very entertaining for anybody.

I still like Bree though. And Andrew. Their conversation brought about my favorite line of the episode, when Bree argued that admitting her daughter was a teen mother would put them on the slippery slope toward becoming white trash:

Bree: "We might as well sit on the porch and play banjos!"

Orson and Bree's bit with the "trick BBQ fork" was funny too. It would have been funnier if it hadn't been in the promos.

There wasn't a whole lot that captured my attention or imagination in this episode. That may partially be due to the fact that while I was watching, I was working of my first task for the Dunder Mifflin Infinity online game (we Watch With Kristin message board people finally got ourselves a branch after weeks of hard work!).

The new lady and her mystery aren't doing much for me yet.

I think it's weird that Mike wants a kid, seeing as he already has a kid (Zach Young) that he doesn't seem to ever talk to.

Am I asking too much to request that we have to witness no further scenes of Susan at the gynecologist's office?

Premiere Rating: 5 / 10

Brothers and Sisters:

Hmm, well this episode was okay. A lot of it felt awfully familiar. The Walkers are still pretty entertaining though.

I didn't like the webcam narration scenes that opened and closed the episode. Snooze. And I don't like that they're trying to make us think that Justin was killed in the war. Clearly the B&S people are not going to kill off Justin--and if they were, they'd surely save it for Sweeps. Come on, this isn't the first time I've ever turned on a TV set...

I was happy, however, that the episode included one of those huge scenes where everyone in the family is drinking and yelling at each other and spilling each other's secrets. This one was a doozy, with everyone getting particularly belligerent while waiting for a table at a Mexican restaurant:

• Kevin: "He's going to dump me for Shiva or a lifeguard or something."
• I especially enjoyed Uncle Saul telling Kevin to just shut up.
• Nora: "So maybe if you all could move your drunken asses, my family and I can sit down and eat a damn burrito."

Premiere Rating: 6.5 / 10

Premiere Watch '07: Grey's Anatomy

One day after Addison got off to a lackluster start with her Private Practice, we got a new episode of the flagship to enjoy. And, yes, I did actually enjoy this episode of Grey's, which is much more than I can say for last May's one hour crapathan of a Season 3 finale.

The Season 4 premiere got off to a great start with each of the previous interns (except poor George) trying their hand at giving their new interns the same speech that Bailey gave them on their first day. Their "Nazi" impersonations resulted in various degrees of success, with Izzie fairing the worst and Meredith losing credibility when she hilariously went off the script: "On call room. Sleep when you can where you can...but not with anyone...especially not attendings. Sleeping with attendings: not a good idea."

After a great start, the episode lost some steam. Callie was in over her head and I don't feel sorry for her; Lexi seemed a little too perky and excited to meet Meredith; Izzie was doctoring a deer for crying out loud and then lectured her interns saying that she "did the impossible" (please just get over yourself, Stevens); and Meredith still just can't handle a relationship with Derek for, oh, some combination of reasons. But, even considering those things, this episode was better than any of the Grey's we've seen since at least last November.

Highlights and random observations:

• I'm not loving Karev's new facial hair.
• Christina: "Why is everyone so tinkly and hurt? I'm the one who got left at the alter." Tinkly? Do they have to go to the bathroom?
• Bailey: "You and Grey aren't smelling each other in the elevator anymore."
• With the addition of all these new interns, doesn't it seem like there are a ton more people working in the hospital now than there were before? It just seemed like most of them were getting in the way.
• Lexi picked a bad time to introduce herself.
• Steamy: "You want to rub up against me, you're going to have to buy me a drink first."
• Callie needs to get her head in the game. Weird comment about George being a daddy since she's not pregnant...or "maybe" is. I found it all borderline creepy, but maybe that's because T.R. Knight was giving her a look of sheer terror the whole time she was talking.
• That's one fake looking deer.
• Hey, another pregnant chick who's all alone. Maybe Karev can have this one.
• The scene with all the interns conversing around the severed arm had a lovely, vintage GA feel to it.
• Meredith: "Spiritually, Bailey's over everybody's head."
• So the Chief's wife still won't talk to him? Come on! They reconciled! That was the one even half-way positive thing that came out of that train wreck finale and now that didn't even stick! Geez!
• Ha! George thought Izzy was talking about him when she referred to "Bambi."
• Thank you, Derek, for finally sticking up for Meredith. Too bad that you were the one complaining about her for all of last year.
• Well, that was a ridiculously easy childbirth, considering the mother was out cold having an arm reattached.
• So why did Lexi change her plans and do her internship at Seattle Grace if she really wanted to go somewhere else?
• McSteamy to McDreamy: "I didn't come to Seattle for Addison. I didn't come to Seattle to be chief. I came Seattle for you, okay? I came to get you back." Hilarious.
• I liked the Alex/Christina alliance at the end and also that George found a new friend in Lexi.
• And then George goes and tells Izzie that he loves her. Well, I guess I'm glad someone does, because that girl is on my last nerve. I would like to point out that George didn't have to watch her doctor the deer. Maybe if he had, he'd feel differently.

The dynamics of the show have changed with departure of Burke and Addison and the original interns now holding positions of power. It will be interesting how the characters and show deals with this shift. Now we just have to wait and see if this season will be full of good Grey's moments (the chat around the severed arm, McSteamy's proclamation to McDreamy) or if those painful Grey's moments (Izzie and the deer, anything from last year's finale) will continue to creep in.

Premiere Rating: 7 / 10

Premiere Watch '07: Big Shots

Wow. This show is too awful for words.

I probably shouldn't dignify anything in this episode with a response, but why would Michael Vartan's wife have an affair with that old guy? Come on. She has eyes.

And, why, why, why when Dylan McDermott's character tells the story of how he propositioned a hooker at a rest stop, was arrested, and then realized said hooker was a man (transvestite hookers are apparently pretty popular this pilot season), did his three best friends laugh like that's the funniest story they've ever heard? Seems to me that's the time when your best friends need to speak up and say, "Well, that's what you freaking get for picking up a hooker at a rest stop you stupid, stupid idiot!"

And I stuck around just long enough to hear Peter Bjorn & John's "Young Folks" used in a pilot for the, what, 1000th time this season?

I couldn't last very long watching this crap, especially since Without A Trace was doing an episode about victims of the war and genocide in Darfur, which made the story lines of Big Shots seem all the more inane and worthless.

Premiere Rating: 2.5 / 10 (and I think I'm being generous here...Michael Vartan couldn't even dream of bringing in his allotted 5 points when he's struggling through material this horrible.)

Premiere Watch '07: The Office

I love The Office. I absolutely love it. And I'm glad to have it back. The Season 4 premiere started out with quite a bang! Meredith came out of nowhere! And the camera shot of her flying onto the windshield was fantastically done. Luckily, she turned out to be okay, although you wouldn't necessarily know that from hearing Michael's account, during which he was channeling the Arrested Development's hyper-literal doctor.

But, the night's big news: Jam is finally officially happening. Hallelujah! We've suspected for years that they're perfect for each other, and, wow, were we right! Could they be any cuter together? And the other question is: when are we going to start hating them for being so cute and perfect? I sure don't hate them yet. Give me more Jam!

New Pammy sure has become a force to be reckoned with. She guilted Angela into planning the hospital trip and forcefully told Michael that it is not okay to be naked in your office. Go Pammy! Why do I have the feeling that someday they'll all be working for her?

The closest thing to a complaint that I have is that I don't think that the hour-long episodes of The Office work quite as well as the 30 minute ones. It's hard for anything to be consistently hilarious for a whole hour. That said, I will gladly take every second of The Office that they are willing to give me.

Highlights:

• Kevin saying that Jim and Pam go together like peanut butter and jelly. Um, did he perhaps mean "peanut butter and JAM"?
• Michael: "Yeah, it's only Meredith. Thank God."
• Michael's whole conversation with Ryan, including his admission that he was being negligent and his misunderstanding of "double jeopardy."
• Michael: "I have flaws. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. I occasionally hit people with my car."
• Michael: "I'm not superstitious. I'm only a little stitious."
• Poor Sprinkles! I can't believe Dwight shut her in the freezer.
• Stanley, Oscar, and Creed starting the race and then taking a taxi to a bar.
• Michael's idea to carbo-load with fettuccine alfredo and not drink any water before the 5K.

Premiere Rating: 8 / 10

Premiere Watch '07: Ugly Betty

Starting off the Betty review with some highlight bullets:

• The telenovela sequence in the beginning was funny.
• Justin looks much more than three weeks older.
• I like Yoga: "Everyone thinks I'm the maid. Or Gayle King."
• Hmm, I could have done without the oppressive Victoria Secret product placement that never seemed to end.
• Um, I think that Amanda would prefer not to be related to her parents. They're creepy :-)
• Eeeew, Amanda did sleep with Daniel! That totally didn't even occur to me when Mark first suggested that Bradford is her dad. Gross! I love that Amanda pointed out: "That's the kind of dirty that doesn't wash clean." Poor girl.
• Santos: "Man, the hooker had her baby kidnapped and now she has Tetanus? That's a bad Monday."
• "Dadford." Ha!
• Wilhelmina: "N. I don't have the energy to say 'no' anymore."
• Wilhelmina: "Is it just me, or does anyone else see the little fashion elf?"
• Wow, Willy's too smart. She didn't fall for Claire ploy for a second. Wilhelmina should hang out with Patty Hewes--the two of them would take over the world!
• Mark: "You? I may never be able to watch The Sound of Music again!"
• Oops. Alex(is) doesn't remember (s)he's a girl now. That's interesting.
• Aww, Santos is so hot; why does he have to be the one who is dead?
• Henry looks pretty good for having just taken the bus all the way from Arizona to NYC.

Good episode. Much better in my opinion than the overly dramatic Season 1 finale. I liked the Mark/Amanda stuff, and any time Wilhelmina and Justin get together is awesome. Also, Daniel seems to be making some solid progress, which is good.

But, wow, poor Santos. The scene where it is confirmed (I already had it figured out) that he's actually dead and Hilda's daydreaming was heartbreaking. Definitely the saddest moment I've seen on TV in a while. Poor Hilda. She and Santos finally got it together and now look what's happened.

What bothered me was that in the scene where Betty was comforting Hilda, she was seemingly equating Hilda's loss of Santos with her "loss" of Henry. Not the same, Betty. Hilda has a kid with Santos and was just about to marry him. You flirted with Henry occasionally at work. Santos was brutally killed in a robbery. Henry moved away with his pregnant girlfriend. Betty has reason to be sad, but her situation is no where near as tragic as Hilda's. Move on, babe.

Speaking of moving on, didn't it seem weird that Justin appeared to be totally over the death of his father after only three weeks? I know they weren't super close, but still. He was far more upset about the craft projects at his summer camp than he was about he dead father.

Premiere Rating: 7.5 / 10

Premiere Watch '07: Private Practice

Well, based on what I had heard about this episode from critics, I was expecting this first actual episode of Private Practice to be pretty bad. And I guess it wasn't horrible, but it was pretty boring and kind of grating. That is not something it can afford to be when it's on at the same time as the very entertaining Gossip Girl. If there's any justice in the world, at least half of PP's (PP, ha!) viewership should switch over to GG next week.

I found the opening scene where Chief Richard questioned Addison's decision to quit Seattle Grace and move to the holistic hippie practice to be oddly fitting. His comment, "This is not my Addison," ended up being pretty prophetic. The L.A. Addison was not my Addison either. My Addison was a hardass hotshot surgeon who, except for making the big mistake of cheating on her husband, had her shit together. She was not silly. She did not dance around naked. And that was ok! I liked her just the way she was. Why does she have to change herself in order to have her own TV show? Oh, and most annoying of all, why did she have to use the phrase "Addisoning me," three times in this episode?! Just shut up.

My problem with the other characters on this show is that (like Addison does now) they seem very much like TV characters and nothing much at all like actual people. They're mostly either whiny or kind of buttheadish. It takes talent to make me not particularly like Tim Daly, and PP did it, so I guess congratulations are in order? Those pink scrubs he was wearing certainly weren't helping. Merrin Dungey, you may have dodged a bullet here.

Parts of the episode were just kind of boring, but some parts were flat out ridiculous. Such as:

When someone's boyfriend dies, who immediately demands his sperm? Like I realize that's what they were in the process of dealing with when he died, but come on: if you're boyfriend leaves to go get some milk from the convenience store and gets killed in a robbery, the first thing you say when police show up at your door is not going to be, "I want the milk!" And then the whole thing got even more stupid when the ex-wife showed up and said she wanted the guy's sperm too. Did he have some kind of fantastic DNA code that I was unaware of? It sure didn't seem like it, seeing as he keeled over and died in his middle age. It was especially ridiculous because why would his wife, whom he left because she got older, want to have his kid? There are other men out there for crying out loud. How about you have a baby with someone who is actually nice to you? This guy was clearly not that fantastic.

And another really stupid thing was that the teen girl just happened to come to the clinic to deliver her baby on the same day that Addison showed up. Because who was she expecting to deliver her baby? No one knew Addison was going to even be there! Were they planning on letting Piz the receptionist take care of it? AND this whole thing got dumber too when it was revealed in an "oh, by the way..." type of moment that the teen's mother died in childbirth. Shouldn't a girl whose mother died in childbirth be delivering her baby in an actual hospital?! It didn't occur to anyone there might be some sort of problem? GAH!

And how dumb is it that it takes so long for them to get people from their clinic to the hospital? You'd think that if you were going to have a stroke, a doctor's office would be one of the better places to do it, but apparently you'd be very wrong.

All that said, I do still like Piz. He managed to get a moderately funny line: "You think I'm eye-candy. You have no respect for me or my midwifery skills!" I was curious, though, about who was watching the front desk while he was helping Addison deliver the baby. But, seriously, Chris Lowell, if you could find your way to Gossip Girl or Reaper or Chuck or Dirty Sexy Money or Ugly Betty or almost anything other than this tired show, I'd appreciate it.

Premiere Rating: 5 / 10

Premiere Watch '07: Dirty Sexy Money

My favorite description of Dirty Sexy Money was when someone called it the drama version of Arrested Development. AD left some pretty big shoes to fill, but it looks like the Darlings could become just as kooky, immoral and entertaining as our beloved Bluths.

The DSM pilot episode was quite fun. No surprise that I loved Juliet Darling since I'm a big Samaire Armstrong fan. As Juliet, she seems to have much less "sage wisdom" than she did as The OC's Anna, but she's totally nailing her new Paris Hilton-esque character. My other favorite Darling was the Rev. Brian, who is quite the firecracker despite being a man of God! Who says, "I'm sorry Grandpa's dead," to a little girl! Yeesh!

Bullets:

• Juliet: "I'd never want to be blind, but playing blind is really fun."
• The Darlings drink even more alcohol than the Gossip Girl kids!
• $10 million a year for the charitable foundation is a pretty freaking good offer, but by the end of the episode, it doesn't seem like nearly enough.
• Karen (to her fiance): "Nick deflowered me." Yikes!
• The personalized ringtones for each member of the Darlings were funny.
• Nick: "Look, he wrote his name in just now with a crayon!"
• Anything by the Teddybears and Peter Bjorn & John's "Young Folks" are definitely the official songs of pilot season. It's getting ridiculous.
• I guess it's official: money doesn't make you happy.
• I'm pretty sure that (the future senator) Patrick Darling's wife changed mid-episode. When they got out of the limo at the funeral in the beginning, she was definitely Tom's baby momma from Desperate Housewives (Kiersten Warren, also of Saved By the Bell: The College Years...ha ha), but a different lady was talking to Dan Rather at the party. Oops. Pilot recasting strikes again?
• Nick: "Don't you as a United States Senator have to have enough courage to walk into a hotel room and hand a trannie hooker a check!"
• Nick's dad had a 40 year affair with Mrs. Darling! Oh no! I guess we should have seen that coming, especially in light of her meltdown at the anniversary party.
• I know he wants to find the killer of his father, but I really think Nick might want to turn and run away from these people as fast as he can. By the time he solves the murder, his whole life is going to be ruined.
• Ha ha--Jeremy's going to space camp.

All in all, a good start. This show definitely has the potential to be an awful lot of fun.

Premiere Rating: 7/10

Gossip Girl: The Wild Brunch

Ok. I very much enjoyed Gossip Girl's premiere last week, but this week's episode was even better! I have absolutely found my substitute for The O.C.

Highlights:

• Is it wrong that every time I hear Kristen Bell say, "You know you love me," I grin like a fool?
• The scene where Serena got out of the taxi and Dan waved at her was hysterical! Dan getting his face hit by the door was priceless. He suddenly seemed very Seth Cohen-like in that moment. And I loved the next day recap conversation about "the wave" between Jenny and Dan. It reminded me in the best way possible of Seth and Ryan talking after Marissa told Ryan she loved him and Ryan said, "Thank you." Jenny's "It was a nice wave," was just like Seth's "At least you were polite." Bring on the awkwardness, Josh Schwartz! You do it so well!
• Dan and Jenny have the oddest apartment situation. There was a big metal door that you can pull up and down between their bedrooms. Seems like that might get a little annoying.
• Blair's friends have matching Prada turbans!
• There was a very Marissa/Julie Cooper dynamic going between Serena and her mom.
• I love the scenes with Dan and the front desk guy. They're hilarious. I hope there's a scene between the two of them in every episode.
• Mrs. van der Woodsen: "I'd like to get out of here before someone throws me down and tattoos me."
• Dan: "I live in Brooklyn--not the Ozarks. No offense to the Ozarks."
• And we have another crazy fancy party, and this one is complete with female models pretending to be statues. Wow. Loved that Dan tried to talk to one of them.
• Say what you want about Chuck, but he is one snazzy dresser.
• These people's parents are across the board awful. No wonder Blair, Chuck and Nate are insufferable.
• Blair (after Nate repeats the excuse that he and Serena were just going to talk about not talking): "That doesn't sound any smarter the second time."
• The climatic five-person group talk was great.
• Is it wrong that of all the secrets Blair revealed, I was most upset that she mentioned Dan's Cabbage Patch Doll? That is a low blow! What a bitch! :-) Poor Dan and poor Cedric. [Although I'm wondering how Dan came to have a Cabbage Patch Kid, since they were popular way before his childhood, which should have been in the mid-1990s.]
• Gotta love that there was another party and another fight.
• Gossip Girl: "Some might call this a fustercluck, but here on the Upper East Side, we call it Sunday afternoon."
• An awful lot has happened with these people in less than two days.
• Jenny bought hydrangeas! Someone definitely did not learn the lesson she should have learned from the Kiss On the Lips dance debacle. She's on a slippery slope.
• Serena was left alone in a very gritty looking NYC at the end.
• And it's only the 2nd episode and we've already got Rooney in the soundtrack. That's not surprising.

This is definitely the one new show so far that leaves me wanting to see more and more. Forget middle-aged doctors having emotional crises. Forget underachieving WalMart employees who suddenly find themselves saving the world. Forget people with special abilities. As far as I'm concerned, just bring on the rich white kids who throw fancy parties and tear each other to shreds! It might be shallow, but it's just so freaking entertaining.

Premiere Watch '07: Reaper

Ok, just as it was difficult to talk about Gossip Girl without mentioning The OC, it's kind of hard to discuss Reaper without at least thinking about Chuck. Because, wow, in a lot of ways, they're almost the same show. Funny, underachieving guy who works in a huge "box" store unwittingly becomes a secret agent (or, in the case of Reaper, a secret agent demon hunter). Based on the pilots, I think I liked Reaper just a little bit better...due in no small part to the fact that the main character is played by Bret Harrison..

In sticking with the 5 points per actor rule I pulled out of my butt established yesterday, I'd like to report that Bret Harrison totally delivered his 5 points for Reaper. I love Bret Harrison. He's the reason I still occasionally watch the Grounded for Life reruns on ABC Family. I love Brad and Lily (and especially their big dance at the prom). And, of course, finding out that Bret is in Adam Brody's band put him way over the top in my estimation. Like Michael Cera, Adam Brody has exceptional taste in friends. And, to prove that I'm a real Bret Harrison connoisseur, when I watched the repeat earlier this summer, I totally recognized that it was him playing the really weird, hip hop-ish VJ on the episode of The OC when Seth and Ryan go to Spring Break in Miami.

But why did I love Bret tonight? Well, he plays the lovable slacker very well. And he can do an impeccable freak out. And he has a very expressive face. And, in the scene where they vanquished the demon, and Sock said, "I think I wet my pants," Bret actually looked down to check. Eeeeeew, but so funny!

Other great things about Reaper include Ray Wise making the Devil seem like a pretty charming fellow and a very solid supporting cast. Sometimes Sock (that nickname is awesome) was a little over the top and trying super hard to channel his inner Seth Rogen (do we all have an inner Seth Rogen, and is that good or bad?), but he delivered a lot of the episode's funniest lines. And, let's face it, I like TV that's funny, so while the demon guy bursting into flames was pretty creepy and the Zamboni thing was gross, it's the comedy that will keep me coming back.

I'd also like to mention that the directing and camera work in this episode was fantastic. The scene where the shopping cart eluded Sam's reach was particularly cool. This episode was directed by Kevin Smith, and I admit that I haven't seen much of his work, except for a little bit of Jersey Girl, but we won't hold that against him. A lot of people made career choices during Bennifer 1.0 that they came to regret (um, namely Ben Affleck). Anyway, nice job, Kevin.

Highlights:

• Sam's mom: "Sam did go to college. He went for a month, and we're very proud of him for trying. It's just that college made him sleepy."
• Sock called Sam's brother "K-Fed" just because he didn't get into Stanford. Ouch!
• Sock throwing the bleach at Sam. "You were supposed to move that with your mind."
• the Devil explaining where the portals to hell are: "Anyplace that seems like hell on earth is hell on earth--like the DMV on Union Street."
• Devil: "Oh, I forgot, you got a 600 on the SATs."
• Ben: "I take it back, Sam; that's a really evil mini-vac!"
• Ha ha, asshat. Did we all learn our name-calling from Summer Roberts? It's nice to have a friend who will forgive you for anything just because you say, "I'm an asshat."
• Sock: "You're evil."
  Sam: "So I heard."
• I loved the scene where they got all suited up to go fight the demon and then had to sit and wait for the Dirt Devil to recharge.
• Sock: "You are Neo; you're the one!"
• DMV lady: "The boss give you the vessel he thinks you can handle... you must be a real moron."
• Sam: "My parents sold my soul to the devil! I mean how crazy is that?"
  Sock: "My dad forgot to pick me up from sleep-away camp for three days."
  Sam: "That's not the same thing."

My one problem with this episode was that you could totally tell that all the scenes with Missy Peregrym had been shot at a much later date than the rest of the episode. This is the problem we run into, CW, when we recast actors months later. The camera work in the new scenes seemed different, the lighting seemed different, and the real problem was that Bret looked different. He had longer hair, there were highlights in his hair, his face was scruffier, and he looked a little bigger. It was just silly.

Other than that, pretty awesome pilot. My fave so far.

Premiere Rating: 8.5 / 10

(photo source: cwtv.com)