Greek: Rusty and the Chambers of Secrets

Greek:
"Agents of Change"

Oh, fellow Greek lovers, I don't even want to think about it. This time next week, Greek will be over. Gaaaaaa! There, I said it. Now let's try to ignore that awful thought for a while longer.

This episode was great. Then again, every episode of Greek seems great now that we're in the fuzzy haze of nostalgia... But we're not talking about that right now.

Highlights and observations:

• Laura, thank you, that's what that girl's name is. It's been bothering me for weeks.
• Lol at Cappie, Beaver and Heath seeing who can jump on the bed the longest. Wait, no, that's not Heath. Not sure what that kid's name is. Was Heath too busy to jump on the bed? Oh, it's Anthony Hopkins.
• Who is "Villain X"? It's driving me nuts.
• Chambers International wants to buy Rusty's wire!
• Cappie: "Ah, a boy and his wire. The unconventional love story of the summer."
• Nooooo, Casey! Don't invoke the name of Frannie! That's asking for trouble.
• I love Calvin avenging Dale. Or trying to, anyway.
• Evan! In flannel! What a delightful surprise.
• Evan's room is sparse.
• Evan: "Rusty, I'd go now before paddles start coming off the wall."
• Ha! I love Rusty, but I can't deny that I find Evan treating him like crap on occasion to be pretty amusing.
• Lol at Ashleigh shaking her head at the Drew Lachey suggestion.
• Does Frannie really count as a ZBZ alum after she disassociated and formed IKI?
• Cal: "You know that dream where you're naked and the whole school's laughing at you?"
  Evan: "They're applauding. But go on."
• Jonathan Silverman! Yes, thank goodness he's here.
• Rebecca: "A Bieber in the hand is worth two Lacheys in the bush."
• Evan brought Rusty with him to visit the parents? Great plan to make an already awkward situation even worse...
• Rusty: "This is where you grew up? You are Lex Luthor."
  Evan: "I heard that. Just like I had to hear NPR Science Friday the whole way down here."
• Rusty: "Mmm, that's good water, Mrs. Chambers! Best I've ever had!"
• That was not a very smooth segue, Ev.
• Dale! And Calvin! Aww, Dale's sad.
• I'm having a hard time remembering these good old days when the Omega Chis weren't a miserable bunch of jerks.
• Dale: "I've turned down my collars; I'm done."
• I like that Rusty is getting this insight into the sucking sucky world of being a Chambers.
• Eew, Evan's dad spies on him.
• Cappie: "I know a sorority where the food is hot and the women are cold. No, wait, they're both hot."
• LOL at Cappie's scream of terror when he saw Frannie.
• Cappie: "Nice to see you too, Frannie. This is Pledge Spidey. Please don't turn him to stone."
• Dale (to Tripp): "Can it, Prince Harry."
• Whoever this first Omega Chi pledge guy who stood up to talk is, he's lovely.
• Aww, Pledgy Spidey has some moves! It's good he happens to know the words to Bieber's songs so he can lip-synch. I wouldn't be able to pull it off.
• Learning moment time:
  Ash: "Being president was fun."
  Casey: "Fun? For me it was transformative. Is it wrong for me to want to give back to something that made me so much of who I am?"
  Ash: "No, it's not wrong. But how much more are you going to give?"
• I feel like between Frannie and Ash, Case is getting a hard dose of reality right now.
• See? I knew CRU was in Ohio! So why had it not snowed there for years and years?! It snows in Ohio, people!!
• That's cool that Chambers International will let Rusty work on the wire after he graduates.
• I love how Evan's pledge paddle was prominently displayed on the wall while Rusty and Evan finally made nice.
• Is that really Calvin's last "patented diatribe"? I'll miss them.
• Rebecca: "Oh, we totally will. If little Tyler Gentry Manning ever wants to see his nana again."
• Oh NO. Pledge Spidey is the saboteur?! Ohhh no. And what is in Cappie's letter from the college? I'm nervous.
• How depressing would it be if the KTs only have one pledge and it turns out he's trying to take them down?!
  

Ohhhhhhhh, I'm going to be a massive wreck at this time next week. Frankly, I'm already not feeling so great. Cannot believe there's only one episode left.

We did cover some solid ground in this episode: We patched up Evan and Rusty (which was no easy task). We reconciled Dale with the Omega Chis and got Tripp to stop acting like a flaming butthead. We got some closure with Frannie. We got Casey to realize that spending the next three years in the ZBZ house might not be the best life choice. We got Ashleigh a job that she likes and is good at. We even got Rebecca to calm the heck down a little bit. Those are some serious strides!

Wish list for the finale: Casey and Evan have to make up. And if Cappie and Evan could make up too, that would be icing! The KTs have to figure out if Pledge Spidey is the saboteur. Beaver and Katherine have to get married. (Lol, that one was a joke. Kind of.) We need to have some touching moments between the great sets of friends: Casey/Ash, Cappie/Evan, Rusty/Dale, Rusty/Calvin, Casey/Katherine, Rusty/Cappie, etc. We need a sweet Casey/Rusty brother/sister moment that causes us all to tear up. And as an extra bonus--from the looks of the preview--we finally get the kiss we've all been waiting for: Dale and Casey!! Ha. At least that will give us a reason to smile through our tears...

BTW, I'm going to try to post some Greek wrap-up stuff throughout this week. I want to give a proper send-off to the CRU kids I love so much.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Mock Trials and Tribulations

Greek:
"Subclass Plagiostomi"

Ok, kids. Grab your tissues: by my calcu- lations this is the third to last episode of Greek. What a sad state of the world we find ourselves in...

Let's brace ourselves. No more weeping tonight--we'll get to that in (sob) two weeks.

Highlights and observations:

• Evan's hair looks even shorter this week.
• Evan: "Oh, it's totally personal." Ha. Oh, Evan.
• Beaver describing Joshua Whopper as "the Asian in the basement."
• Cappie: "Dale-y won't even do book club anymore. Even after I shared my erotic fixation with the Bronte sisters."
• Ashleigh and Cappie are taller than everyone else at the job fair. That has to count for something.
• Ok, this sounds promising: a former professor with a new marketing business. Well, it seemed promising until I saw that webisode...
• Tripp fixed Dale up with NATALIE?!? Ha ha ha. There's a couple I can get behind.
• Evan has no tie today, but he is wearing a vest.
• No, Evan, no, you do not miss Rebecca!! PLEASE tell me this is just Evan being diabolical and playing mind games with Casey. Phew, it is just Evan being diabolical! Close call, there.
• I seriously prefer Evan being evil to Evan missing Rebecca.
• Lol at post-coital Katherine (and uneasy Casey).
• Katherine: "A shark would just (hand motion) tear him limb from limb."
• Whoa, Ash has found herself a sugar daddy. This is making me uneasy.
• Katherine: "You better watch out, because we are so ready! We're like 22-year-old virgins, and I should know, having been one."
• HA! Katherine just slapped panicking Casey! Oh. My. Gosh.
• Casey: "Does this say 'shark' to you?"
  Cappie: "Werewolf, actually."
• Natalie (to Rebecca): "Maybe you can have your formal with the Tri-Pi's. You were a lesbian once, right?"
• Rebecca: "I burned your house down once. I'll do it again."
• It's nice how upset Rebecca is over this Dale thing. I didn't know she was such a fan of Dale's. Granted, a lot of her anger is a result of Natalie trying to take down the ZBZs, but I think she's got a soft spot for Dale.
• Cappie: "Are they talking about Sigourney Weaver?"
• Holy crap, the Omega Chis have sunk to a new low. Messing with Dale is like kicking a puppy. Who knew Evan was a steadying moral force in that house?
• Whoooooaaaaaaaa. Evan's saying all his evilness is because Casey took herself away from him and then took Rebecca away? Uh, ok. I love Evan, but even I'm not buying this one. I seem to remember him being a little evil before Casey broke up with him.
• Casey's not having it. She calls Evan's bluff--except it wasn't a bluff this time. And Evan's sad. Awwww.
• Rusty: "Natalie told Rebecca, who is the world's weirdest Dale defender, but I still believe her."
• Uh oh, Cappie's speaking the truth about this Ashleigh/Simon situation. And being logical. And smart. That's always a little disconcerting.
• Can you call opposing counsel as a witness?
• Oh dear, Dale has no pants.
• Dale's dance moves leave something to be desired.
• OMG, the evil Omega Chis had Dale take off his shirt and moon the audience! Oh no.
• Aww, Dale's going to finish the song! And Rusty and Calvin went out on stage in their underwear too for moral support! (Aside from the underwear, this scene reminds me of Little Miss Sunshine.) How sweet! There's "brotherhood" for you. (Can I get the odds on someone using that exact line in the next 10 minutes?)
• It's too bad Heath's not around for this talent show performance. We all know that he doesn't have a problem dancing around in his underwear ;-)
  
• Oh no, Dale's pummeling Tripp! Come on, land a punch to the face at least, Dale!
• So if Tripp and the Omega Chis were just messing with Dale and aren't the ones doing the other KT sabotage, who is?
  
• Um, if this is how Casey and Evan are treating each other, maybe it's good they didn't go to law school as a couple. This is bad enough as it is.
• Rusty: "I guess the whole school's seen us naked now. It's kind of nice to have that out of the way."
  

So, at this point, it's time for me, as a sometime Casey/Evan shipper, to concede that we've run out of time. Casey and Evan as a couple is not going to happen*. At this point, it's looking iffy on whether they'll even get to the point of being friends again by the time the show's over. Not to mention Evan and Cappie! We've got a lot of relationship/friendship angst to heal in a short amount of time.

*At least by the end of the series. I suppose they may leave the possibility of a future reunion slightly still on the table.

Previews for next week: Oh NO! It's Franny! Personally, I could have lived if Frannie hadn't showed up in the final batch of Greek episodes. I have not missed her.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: The Kiss of Truth

Greek: Midnight Clear

Well, fellow Greek aficionados, it's time to face the unfortunate truth: Our time at Cyprus-Rhodes is almost up, as evidenced by this finale cast photo posted on EW.com last week. Boy, does looking at that picture make me feel sad. They're smiling, but they are melancholy smiles. And I can relate: a melancholy smile is the best you're going to get out of me when I'm thinking of Greek's rapidly approaching March 7 finale.

Once you get past the sheer sadness of the idea of Greek ending, looking at that picture brings some other things to mind. First, Casey's outfit is amazing. Second, what the hell happened to Evan's hand?! Is that part of the plot? Or did Jake McDorman break his hand in real life? It seems like they could have pretty easily hidden his hand behind another cast member if they'd wanted to, so I think it's a clue. But how does Evan break his hand? Punching Cappie? Getting hit with a pledge paddle by Rusty? The plot thickens...

Highlights and observations (apologies--these are not quite as thorough as usual; my computer froze up during Truth or Kiss):

• Ash: "Casey took a "Which Friend are you quiz on Facebook and she's a Rachel. She wishes! She's more like a Ross."
• Can I come to the "lovers of Calvin" party? I'm a lover of Calvin.
• This is the first snowstorm at Cyprus-Rhodes is 50 years? I thought they were in Ohio! Where'd I get that clearly erroneous idea?
• Casey: "Ashleigh became a fan of Color Me Badd! She hates novelty '90s bands! What is wrong with her?!"
• They are talking about pre-nups already in law school? That seems kind of advanced for week four or whatever it is.
• EVAN!!! EVAN!!! EVAN!!!
• Dale: "Let's be honest, with that dimpled chin and those buttery blond highlights, it's pretty clear who is in the right here."
• Cappie: "Why do you care that I care? Why is there no "Real World: Cleveland"? ... So many questions..."
• Rebecca: "Were there any signs that things were going bad between you two before you broke up?"
  Casey: "Well, he slept with you."
• Lol at Calvin and Heath walking in on Rusty when he was putting Ash's lipstick on his face to see if she was the mystery girl.
• Katherine: "Casey! Keep up!"
• Oh no, Katherine, please call you and Walter "a relationship"! That's what I'm calling it!
• Maybe Evan just doesn't like you, Rebecca. Because you're annoying!
• Evan really doesn't know Rebecca very well if he thinks she's going to make it through the whole party without causing drama about this.
• Rusty: "Shoulder! Is that the same thing as the arm?"
  Calvin: "Yeah, it's the top of the arm. Or the bottom of the neck."
• Lol, "Tripp and Dale" has replaced "Cap and Dale"
• Dale: "Jenga? It's my middle name!"
• Casey and Evan: "Why is she kissing my law professor?"
  Rusty: "Why is she kissing that old guy?"
• The roads are closed, and Heath's not coming :-( Boo, I miss Heath already.
• Casey: "And what is that age exactly? Does it start with a 3 or a 4?"
• Cappie: "Suck it, Kettle-smell!"
• Casey: "Are you blind already? Why else would you be dating someone who is old enough to be -- Color Me Badd! That's why you fanned them on Facebook!"
• Major LOL at Casey pointing at her elbow and saying, "Is this spreading?" when Ashleigh was trying to elicit support for Simon coming with them to Dobbler's.
• Lol at Dale asking Casey a complicated math problem so she'd have to kiss him! But she didn't! Aw, poor Daley.
• Whoa, that game of Truth or Kiss got real fast.
• Cappie kissed Evan!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
• Ha ha at Evan gargling his beer after kissing Cappie.
• Ha at Dale telling Ashleigh that there's a bucket around if she needs to hurl after kissing Rusty.
• Ok, I'm sorry, but DOES Rebecca deserve to be treated better than this after her Truth or Kiss antics?! She did after all just announce to a group of people that Cappie is better in bed than Evan. Then she forced Casey to corroborate. And then she wonders why Evan is acting pissed off?! OY VEY.
• Aww, Ashleigh and Casey are not a college relationship. They will always be each other's soul mates.
• Oops! Reunion, interrupted! Casey is not thrilled to find out that Ashleigh kissed Rusty for real.
• What DOES Casey have to do with your breakup with Rebecca, Evan? Hmmm, let's think. I bet if we think really hard, we can figure it out...
• "Watch your back in law school. Because now the gloves are off." Oooh, that's real scary, Chambers.
  

All right, folks: And now for the main event! It's Cappie/Casey/Evan version 4.0 (5.0?). We've all seen it coming (again). It's time to settle this one once and for all. We are, after all, almost out of time...

photo: abcfamily.com

Greek: When the Morning Comes

Greek:
"Fumble"

Well, we were all grappling to come to terms with things tonight. Rusty was trying to figure out what exactly had happened to him the night before. Casey knew that what she'd been up to the night before could lead to trouble (she had had drunken, unprotected sex with Cappie) and spent the day dealing with the fallout from that. And as for me, I spent the evening trying to come to terms with the fact that every episode of Greek from here on out will not be as magical as the Beaver-centric "All About Beav" of two weeks ago.

Last week's episode wasn't as fantastic as "All About Beav," but it did have some rather funny moments. This episode, however, wasn't as amusing. Not that it was bad; it was just pretty serious. Thank goodness we (and Calvin) had a chance to watch Rusty uncover his own humiliating drunken episodes and that Katherine turned up to whip off some fantastic lines about how she has "taken a lover." All in all, the episode was fine, but it didn't leave me in a state of rapture like the really great episodes of Greek do.

Also, there was no Evan.

Highlights and observations:

• Casey: "She'll misinterpret things and think we're getting back together."
  Cappie: "Is that such a bad thing? It's what the people want!"
• Rusty: "Well, I either kissed a girl or gave a clown mouth-to-mouth."
• Dale: "Thanks for the heads up that Ashleigh was sleeping on the couch. I got up to get a drink of water and she saw my Full Monty in the fridge light."
• Dale: "Hi, Calvin. I'd stay and talk, but I'm making a dramatic exit."
• Calvin: "What's with the eyewear, Snooki?"
• Katherine: "I have taken a lover."
• Casey: "Wait, wait, you're sleeping with Beaver, and his name is Walter?!"
• Katherine's daughter's name is going to be Anastasia. :-)
• Ooh, Ash is in a saucy mood today.
• Prof. Simon's daughter (Hailey) is cute. Until she starts talking, that is...
• Calvin: "It's like watching bizarro Rusty."
• Calvin: "She handed you her virginity on a silver platter and you just sent it back to the kitchen."
• Awwwww, Beaver and Katherine :-) :-) :-)
• Katherine: "I think your exact wording was, 'Ok, you can have me now.'"
• Whoa, now Prof. Simon's daughter is talking about One Tree Hill. OTH is on everyone's lips this week.
• Is Ashleigh's "Pedro" Prof. Simon or Rusty? I feel like Prof. Simon is just a giant red herring here.
• Rusty: "Please have my wire. And be my soul mate."
• Cappie: "No, but she can't have gotten far."
  Casey: "Unless she's in the back of a van!"
• There had to be a safer way to get Hailey down from the rock climbing wall.
• Ashleigh: "No, no, I was just admiring this girl's hair. It's so soft."
• Ok, so Prof. Simon is maybe not a red herring? He wants to take Ashleigh to dinner, so we know he likes her anyway. Still not convinced he's "Pedro."
• Ok, I no longer care whether Cappie and Casey are together, apart, or whatever. What I adamantly care about is that Cappie NEEDS to get a HAIRCUT. Even if it's just a little trim. His hair looks bad. Bad, bad, bad.
• Casey: "Cappie and I got drunk, and, uh, studied."
• Cappie declared philosophy as his major! Oh, Cap, of all the majors to declare... Luckily he knows a really rich guy who offered to help him out in the post-college world.
• Cappie's taking a 10 a.m. class! And not even a Tuesday/Thursday class! It's a Monday/Wednesday/Friday class.
• Called it! Rusty is "Pedro." You cannot fool me, Greek! (cue evil laugh)
• Rusty: "Because you're a human magnet and people are drawn to you." (Aww, drunk Rusty is so sweet!)
• That was a pretty hot kiss there between Rusty and Ashleigh. The pieces for the Rusty/Ashleigh coupling are falling into place... Now all we need is for Rusty to remember it.
  

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Weekend At Cappie's

Greek:

"Homecoming and Going"

So how does Greek follow up last week's Best Episode Ever candidate, the Beaver/Walter-centric "All About Beav"?

Unfortunately by shoving Walter way back into the background again. And Katherine was MIA altogether. Boooooooo!

But the consolation was that this episode featured Jonathan Silverman as Pledge Spidey's super rich dad. To me, Jonathan Silverman showing up as Spidey's dad is almost as exciting as Dwayne Wayne appearing as Ashleigh's dad due to my unnatural love of Weekend At Bernie's. (And Weekend At Bernie's II.) We're talking one of my favorite movies ever here. It's like Greek is intentionally casting its parents (and teachers) by harvesting my favorite shows and movies of all time. Next thing you know, Paul Gross from Due South is going to show up at the father of Heath and Heather or something.

Highlights and my observations:

• Uh oh, the KTs didn't hold their big Homecoming party last year, so A&M kicked CRU out of collegepartymonster.org's top 10 party schools.
• "And 'dot org's never lie!"
• Cappie: "Luges? Lugi? Lugee?"
• JONATHAN SILVERMAN!!! Pledge Spidey's dad is Jonathan Silverman?! Awesome!
• Ash: "Who knew finding a job would take so long? It always happens so fast in movie montages."
• Cappie: "It's like finding out that Santa left the North Pole to sit in a cubicle and listen to NPR."
• Why has Ashleigh started snoring in the past 4 months? Does she have a deviated septum?
• Evan not wanting to wade into the battle of "Heather" vs. "Heeeeeather" and saying, "Well, don't stay too long, whatever your name is..."
• Health thinking the party theme was based on Everwood. Honestly, knowing the amount of television watched in the Kappa Tau house, I'd be less surprised by the KTs having a party based on Everwood than Mt. Everest.
• Calvin: "He's a good dancer..."
• Wow, Casey just invited Ash to live with Rusty without asking Rusty (and Dale) first? That's presumptuous.
• WALTER! Walter, I miss you already.
• Awww, Beav getting choked up talking about loosing his "little brother" Scooby. (And then wailing "Scooooooooobbbeeeeee!!!!")
• WHERE IS KATHERINE?!
• Oh no! Dale's big brother is Tripp. Scraping the bottom of the barrel there...
• Dale: "Yeah, I never thought I'd be friends with a red-top either, but he's the prez. Only the best for me!"
• Well, if Rusty is Peter's "big brother" and Cappie is Rusty's "big brother," then Cappie would be Peter's "grand big" so shouldn't that be just about as good?
• Yeah, Calvin! Call Rebecca out on her crap!
• Stop dragging the Calvin/Heath relationship through the mud, Rebecca! Heath is sooooooooo much better than Grant (and deputy Leo).
• Good, Peter, go apply sunscreen. That's responsible.
• Cappie: "Why not just buy him some porn and a lap dance and call it a day?"
  Rusty: "Peter has brittle bones, and an aggressive lap dance could paralyze him for life."
• Ok, it's funny that Heath is dumb in this episode, but he wasn't always this dumb. He was supposedly going to medical school at one point, if you'll recall.
• The whole scene where Calvin found out about Heath's secrets from last week was hilarious, so here it all is:
• Calvin: "You know how sometimes people have another side to themselves that they keep secret?"

  Heath: "Yeah, yeah, like superheroes or...um...uh..."

  Calvin: "Yeah! So, uh, they never really reveal the truth about themselves because they kind of like how people view them in a certain way."

  Heath: "Beaver told you about me stipping at the Rio Nightclub, didn't he?!"

  Calvin: "Stipping? As in strippers? You? For money?!"

  Health: "You didn't know? What were you talking about? Oh God, did Casey tell you about the test paper selling thing?"

  Calvin: "What?!"

  Heath: "What the hell do you want to talk to me about?!"

  Calvin: "Stop talking! I was going to tell you that I don't have a major!"

  Heath: "Really? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

  Calvin: "Does it really matter now?"
• Also beyond hysterical was the pre-goat stealing conversation between Rusty, Dale and Peter.
• Rusty: "I don't think the Bible would approve of you stealing thy neighbor's goat."

  Dale: "The Bible doesn't say zip about kidnapping they neighbor's goat to psych thy neighbor out before the big game."
• Rusty: "You and your 'pledge bros' won't be making any history tonight, bro."

  Dale: "Uh, says who? You and Tiny Tim here?"

  Peter: "Hey! I once ran an 8.5-minute mile. In jeans!"

  Dale: "So did my alcoholic Aunt Trudy, and she didn't remember it."
• Uhh, is Mike Burton (a.k.a. Casey's law professor) hitting on Ashleigh? That's a little creepy. Maybe he's just being nice.
• Ash: "I might as well have gone to the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
• Oh, Ash, I feel your pain, sweetie. I've been there.
• These luges/lugi/lugee are pretty cool.
• Spidey's dad works on a "campus" with games and massages and other awesome stuff. That sounds nice.
• Beccs isn't going to make it down the luge in that dress.
• Rebecca: "I'm sorry, Cal. I can't help but feel partly responsible."

  Calvin: "You're entirely responsible."
• Casey: "Life was so much easier when all your decisions were made for you." (Amen to that, sister.)
• Wow, Casey is drinking a lot of vodka. It's behavior like this, Casey, that leads to us waking up next to 16-year-olds. And by "us," I mean "you."
• Come on, Rusty. It's got to be easier to steal the goat from the Omega Chis than it is to get it from A&M.
• Heath: "And I'm me - the guy who likes Twilight and the Berenstain Bear books."
• Aww, Calvin told Heath he loves him. And Heath actually said he loves Cal back--not "thank you"! It's about time that exchange actually worked out for a TV couple.
• Spidey has an irrational fear of baby cows.
• Prof. Simon: "When I left college, back in 1990, I was in construction."

  Ash: "I was 2."

  Prof. Simon: "You were in construction, too?"

  Ash: "No, I was 2-years-old."
• Peter: "Cappie's cool, but you're cool and a nerd. You're like the..."
  Rusty: "The amalgam!"
• Ha ha ha! Beaver's slow dancing with the goat!!! Unlike last week, Beaver's barely in this episode, but he's still stealing the show!
• How does Cappie not recognize Peter's dad from "Weekend At Bernie's"? I guarantee you that Cappie has seen "Weekend At Bernie's" AND the sequel at least as many times as me.
• No, Evan, you didn't miss Rebecca!
• Oh, Casey. Casey, Casey, Casey... I hope Ashleigh yells at her for this.

(photos: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Leave It to Beaver

Greek:

"All About Beav"

I'm so excited, because tonight's episode of Greek took two of my absolute favorite peripheral characters and put them together! Beaver and Katherine! It's on! I'm so excited; this pairing is epic.

Of course, knowing Beaver and knowing Katherine, it seems highly unlikely that a relationship between the two of them would ever work long-term. But who cares?! This is Greek's final season and we don't have to worry about the long-term! Let's just get together all the couples we want together (Beaver/Katherine, Rusty/Ashleigh, me: Evan/Casey) and break up all the ones we want broken up (Rebecca/Evan, Rusty/Dana). The Greek end is near - we don't have to worry about the post-show consequences!

After the list of tonight's highlights - which are extensive, because this episode was pure bliss from start to finish - I'll pose the important question ignited by tonight's episode:

• It's Beaver!!! Beaver sleeps with a stuffed penguin! Beaver gets a wake-up call from his mom! This is going to be epic.
• Beaver: "Yes, Pengy's up too."
• Beaver: "Know how I'm philanthropy chair?"
  Cappie: "And 'philanthropy' means..."
  Beaver: "No, I remember this time."
• I LOVE that Beaver just walked out on Cappie mid-pointless rant.
• Beaver loves Katherine!!! Oh, dear Lord, please make it happen!
• Beaver: "Oh, pardon me, Bing. I was just moving your girlfriend's breast. I mean chest. I mean drawers..."
• Beaver's real name is...Walter Boudreaux!!!
• I've never heard Beaver say so many words in my life.
• OMFG - tonight, the Greek theme jingle had Beaver singing "Greek, Greek, Greek, Greek, Greeeeek!" over it. Holy crap, this is awesome.
• The janitor asking Beav if he watched Glee last night.
• Beav: "Can you believe they almost shut down the glee club? Again?! Close call! Again!"
• "Don't Mock the Killer Birds" was Beaver's first guess at the name of "To Kill A Mockingbird." Although he was incorrect about the title, that does sound like pretty solid life advice to me.
• Beaver (looking at Katherine): "I want some of that."
  Casey: "Me too."
• Beaver: "I have a paper due tomorrow, and I'm going to fail."

  Cappie: "What about the children?"

  Beaver: "I know! They're the future!"
• "Crabtree and Evan-ly"
• Cappie: "Now, go on. Get out of my sight!"

  Beaver: "I think that's where he is, Cap."
• Beav: "You build towers with your books too!"
• Casey: "Why am I seeing you more today than ever before?"
• Beaver's second attempt at the name of "To Kill A Mockingbird": "Tequila Drinking Bird"
• Every fifth page of Casey's law book has been ripped out and substituted with a piece of paper that says "Suck it."
• How cute is it that they're showing Fisher's T-Mobile commercial during Greek? Except all the Greek fans think he's a dirty, lying cheater, so I don't know if this is such a great idea.
• Beav: "Not that I condone cheating - or even know what condone means - but sometimes you just get desperate."
• Just dump her, Evan. It's time to move on.
• Ash: "Is there a hot science guy?"
  Rusty: "Carl Sagan? Those turtlenecks?"
• Lol at Casey hiding behind Beaver when they were talking to the creepy guy at the post office.
• Oh no! Rusty got pulled off his own project! That's a major bummer.
• Beaver really could have just read the book and written the paper by now. It would have been less work than all of this. Casey probably could have written a bunch of case briefs by now too.
• Beaver saved the barista's life once when she was choking!
• Casey: "I know what you mean, I've been trying to keep up with Rusty my whole life."
  Beaver: "I don't think Rusty's very good at football."
• Katherine: "Rio Nightclub. You know, I haven't heard of it but the name kind of conjures up these images in my mind of relaxing with a Caipirinha and some salsa music after a long but rewarding day of volunteering in the Brazilian slums."
• Now that Katherine brought it up, I think I'd enjoy a Caipirinha too...
• So Rebecca just wants Evan's attention, even if they're fighting. Brilliant plan, Rebecca. That's absolutely going to work out well for you.
• Katherine: "I think they're focusing on the Brazilian slum theme."
• Ha ha ha! Beaver didn't realize that the "Katherine" Casey was talking about is Katherine.
• Casey: "Have you been paying attention to anything I said all day?!"

  Beaver: "How should I know, I haven't been paying attention to anything you've said all day!"
• HEATH!!!! Heath is a stripper. Ahahahahahahahaha!
• I wonder if Calvin knows Heath is a stripper at Rio Nightclub.
• Beaver: "Are you Dave? Are you a policeman? I'm so confused right now!"
• I can't even listen to Heath and Beaver's conversation, because I'm laughing too hard.
• Beaver trying to take off his pants but not being able to, and Katherine screaming "You gotta take off your shoes first!!"
• Beaver grabbing some "hush money" from Heath's underwear!
• Oh my gosh. Tears are streaming down my face. It was nice of them to put this Rusty/Dana breakup scene after the strip club scene to give me a minute to gather myself and stop laughing (and crying).
• Geez, Cappie. Don't shove Evan just for telling the truth.
• Oh, yeah, Rebecca, Evan's the idiot in this situation...
• Evan and Beccs are on the rocks and now Rusty and Dana broke up! Everything's coming up awesome tonight!
• Beaver: "Your my favorite lady I've never had sex with, Casey."
• Beaver's almost finished with his 5-year teaching certificate program! He's going to be a kindergarten teacher!! All together now: "Awwwwww!!!!"
• Beaver: "Are you sure you're in law school? Because this is some pretty basic stuff."
• Casey really didn't realize that allllllllll of the Evan/Cappie war is because of her?
• Yea, Beaver! He's going to watch the movie and write the paper himself! I'm so proud.
• OMFG, KATHERINE IS IN BEAVER'S BED!!!!! Holy freaking crap, I'm about it lose it.
• Beaver doesn't waste time! He sees Katherine in the morning, decides he likes her, and the next day she wakes up in his bed. Beav is such a fox.

And now for the great debate: Was this one of the best episodes of Greek ever, or was this THE best episode of Greek ever? The only thing that's held it back was a lack of Dale and Calvin, but I honestly didn't really miss them tonight.

While the "best ever?" debate may continue on indefinitely, one thing that we know for sure after this episode is that if Greek must end, there should absolutely be a Beaver-centric spinoff. Beaver, the kindergarten teacher. Can you imagine anything more delightful?

(photos: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Why We're Here

Greek:
"Cross Examined Life"

Most of the time I was watching tonight's Greek, I was thinking that the episode was just okay. There was nothing wrong with it really, but it was a bit of a downer, what with Calvin's crisis of indecision about his major, Rusty and Dale's squabble, Casey encountering friction from her law school classmates, Ashleigh returning after crash-and-burning at her job, etc.

And then Katherine showed up, and all was forgiven. When Casey turned around and saw Katherine in the back of the classroom, it was the highlight of my day. I'm not even kidding. Greek, I love you.

For more freaking out re: Katherine, scroll to the end of the...

Highlights and observations:

• Rusty and Dana started re-watching Lost to count the questions that were never answered.
• A murder mystery dinner party is the first think Dana thinks of when she wants to cheer someone up? That's kind of a strange first thought.
• Rebecca's hair looks pretty fantastic for it being her "middle of the night" hair.
• Casey's going to law school and she doesn't know what habeas corpus is?
• Ash: "Casey?"
  Casey: "Burgler?"
• Oh dear, Ashleigh got fired. Her hair looks nice too though.
• Ash has the option of moving home and working at her dad's accounting firm. I've been there...
• Lol at sleeping Beaver attacking Pledge Spidey for trying to throw away his beer cup.
• Cappie: "That's what Heath said. Ha ha."
• Casey: "No tests? Is this what happens before noon? I freaking love morning time."
• Casey and Evan's law professor is Mike Burton from Ed! Cool!
• Evan should have known that burden of proof thing. Come on, Chambers.
• Poor Casey. Since when does law school involve sitting around and swapping gossip? Mr. and Mrs. Karns, or whatever, are a bunch of Chatty Cathies...
• Dale calling the Tri Pis the "Pi Pi Pis"
• Dana: "You look like a teen movie villain."
• Gosh, Rusty is looking cute this year. He's almost becoming Franco-esque. He can definitely do better than Dana now...
• Now Ashleigh has special drink testing coasters! Greek is still mining Season 3 of Veronica Mars for material!! How endearing.
• Cappie: "Come on. 'Why are we here?' She's ordering us to get high."
• Rusty: "They're going to brand their letters onto your ass?!"
• Study group girl: "How well do you two know each other?"
  Evan: "We used to date."
  Mr. Karns: "Oh, Evan, did you used to work in Undergraduate Admissions?"
  
• Casey getting smacked down by the law students is kind of amusing, but Evan is being way meaner than he needs to be. Go apologize. Ok, good boy.
  
• Casey: "Oh, great! Now I'm Rusty in high school."
  
• Ash: "I said, 'Good day, sir!'"
  
• Ash might be purposeless, but she looks gorgeous this episode. I hereby nominate Amber Stevens for the role of Mary Jane Watson in my dream version of Spider-Man staring Donald Glover. (That was one Twitter rumor that really should have been true.)
  
• Oh my gosh! The Omega Chis are branding people in the living room?! That seems like loads of trouble. Oh, thank goodness, they are just pretending to brand people. I was wondering why no one ever mentioned that Evan and Calvin have letters stamped on their butts.
  
• Lol, so the question is: are stoned Cappie and Calvin half as funny as stoned Casey and Evan? So far, no. High Calvin is funny, but Cappie is acting about the same as Cappie always acts. Plus stoned Casey and Evan were pretty much the funniest people ever.
  
• Ok, I did get a major laugh out of Calvin gesturing at Cappie when he said "me" and then pausing and trying again.
  
• Calvin: "Ohh, no. You've got chips on your butt! (laughs)"
  

• Rusty: "So you can let Trip scar you for life?" (referring to the butt branding)

  Dale: "And this won't?!" (referring to the murder mystery dinner party)

  
  

• Dana's friend is cute. Why isn't Rusty with her instead of Dana?

  
  

• Calvin doesn't have a major?! Oh dear. Time's a-wasting, fella.

  
  

• Ha, Dale knew who the "killer" was without even playing the game. Go Dale.
  
  
• LOL at Ashleigh entertaining herself with shadow puppets.
  
  
• Ashleigh has become a bad influence on Casey...
  
  
• Why didn't Rusty at least take off his Sherlock hat before going out in public?
  
  
• Oh, poor Ash. She got overlooked for a promotion in favor of someone from The City, so she was upset and left on her thousandth coffee run and never came back. And now she's fired for real.
  
  
• Ha ha ha! Beaver drew a unicorn on Rusty's face! Beaver is so adorable.
  
  
• KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  
• Katherine: "Can you not interrupt me when I'm waving to my friend? Thank you."
  
  
• OMG. IT. IS. KATHERINE. I'm freaking out.
  
  
• (And I promise to try to stop arguing that Casey, Katherine, and Evan should have gone somewhere else for grad school if for no other reason than to broaden their horizons a bit. I love Casey, Katherine, and Evan, and if this is what keeps them around, so be it.)
  
  
• I wonder why Katherine made a last-minute decision too. Did she miss CRU as well?
  
  
• Casey, Katherine, and Evan need to form a super (study) group!
  
  

And, holy crap, next week's episode is called "All About Beav"! First Katherine comes back and now we get a Beaver-centric episode?! GASP! Please tell me that these two seemingly unrelated occurrences are going to be connected. A Katherine and Beaver hookup!?! You're rocking my world, Greek!

(photos: abcfamily.com)