The Big Bang Theory: Counting Catwomen

The Big Bang Theory: "The Bad Fish Paradigm"

So far, I've failed at my goal of immersing myself in reruns of The Big Bang Theory this summer. Due in no small part to the saga of Jon and Kate, I was a bit distracted on Monday nights earlier in the summer. Now the gymnastics-themed ridiculousness that is Make It Or Break It also demands my Monday night attention. Luckily, this week I remembered TBBT, my favorite show that I don't watch.

Episode highlights:

• Penny: "Has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?"
  Sheldon: "Oh, well, a few years ago he did go out with a woman who had a Ph. D. in French literature."
  Penny: "How is that not a brainiac?"
  Sheldon: "Well, for one thing, she was French. For another, it was literature."
• Sheldon: "You thought the opposite of 'stupid loser' is 'community college graduate'?"
• Harold: "That's kind of an over-reaction to a little harmless necrophilia."
• Harold (when trying to figure out what Leonard did to offend Sheldon): "Did you make fun of trains?"
• Raj: "I hate trains."
  Sheldon: "That's ridiculous. You love trains."
  Raj: "Yes, I do."
• Raj and Sheldon's argument about Bollywood actresses was funny.
• Sheldon: "I'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle."
• Harold: "Please, I'm begging you. Go to sleep!"

  Sheldon: "I'm trying; I'm counting Catwomen."
• Leonard on valium was funny.

SYTYCD: Some Surprises & Some Not-So-Surprises

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 14 Results Show"

My predictions going in: Karla and Vitolio will get the boot.

Play-by-play:

• Do people in The Wiz really wear such a little amount of clothing? Kayla is practically indecent. Isn't this supposed to be a family show? Think of her poor grandpa having to watch this... Brandon isn't wearing much either (besides some weird wing-like feather contraption).
• Speaking of The Wiz, isn't Season 4's William Wingfield in a production of The Wiz in New York right now? That's what I gleaned from his Twitter account a couple weeks ago anyway. (Google search says I'm right.)
• Finally, Cat wearing an outfit that is somewhat interesting. She looks rather rocker chic in her shiny silver mini dress and messed-up-on-purpose flat-ironed hair.
• Hmm, Karla and Vitolio vs. Evan and Randi. This is the 1/3 of the bottom 3 that I wasn't sure about. Last night I was thinking Karla and Vitolio were in the bottom, but upon further reflection, I could see Randi and Evan taking the spot. But! I was right last night! It's Karla and Vitolio! Even fabulous quick step routines are the kiss of death!
• Ok, well I did get at least one couple wrong: Brandon and Janette are not in the bottom 3. That's fine with me; they were good last night. Does this mean the invincible Chbeeb is headed for the bottom 3?
• WHAT?!?! KAYLA AND KUPONO ARE IN THE BOTTOM THREE?!?! What kind of nonsense is this? Where were all the Twilight fangirls?
• This is the most understated outfit I've seen Kupono wear yet on solo night.
• HAHAHAHA!!!! Revenge of the aliens! Caitlin and Jason are safe! (Were the judges really trying to use reverse psychology with all their complaining, or did we just beat them at their own game?)
• This could just be my personal spin, but maybe America put Phillip and Jeanine in the bottom 3 as a message to the producers of SYTYCD that we're sick of their obvious manipulations and DO NOT want to see Phillip and Jeanine do another Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine ever again.
• Wow, Mary, way to completely ignore that Jeanine is standing up there too. That's real nice. Perhaps the problem is that everyone is just not as enamored with Chbeeb as you are.
• Hmm, so now we get to see what good ballet actually looks like. This might have been helpful as a reference point last night.
• And look, Mia! One of these ballet dancers is black and one is white too! Imagine!
• This girl's extension is disgustingly awesome. The guy's not bad either, of course.

The solos:

Karla: Doing some weird, birdlike moves to "Blackbird" (which, interestingly is the song Kayla used for her audition). Karla's solo is good but I felt like she was just really getting going by the time her time was up.

Vitolio: Dancing to a country song? It's kind of weird. Not super impressive. He's really not that great at solos for some reason.

Kayla: Showing off her impressive leg kicks some more. In fact, that's kind of all she's doing. She basically stayed in the exact same spot on the floor, and should have moved around the stage some more.

Kupono: My mom points on that Kup is dancing to "the Jon and Kate song" (from when they "renewed their vowels" in Hawaii). LOL. He looks like he's having fun, but he's not doing a whole lot of dancing...like at all.

Jeanine: We get to see her doing contemporary for the first time ever. And guess what? She's pretty good! I mean, at least she moved all over the entire floor and did some splits and leaps and a freaking pirouette. We've not seen many great pirouettes this season (once Alex Wong had to leave anyway).

Phillip: I think I'm less impressed with Chbeeb's shtick tonight than I was before (and I was never all that impressed). I mean, wasn't Cedric cooler than this in his solos?

Geez. Let's kick out all three boys. Remember when SYTYCD solos were actually good? Last season, Joshua, Twitch and Will consistently nailed their solos week after week. Remember that time that Will did a James Brown impression? That was so awesome. And Twitch's mad conductor routine? And how funny Joshua's hip hop attitude was? And it wasn't just the Season 4 kids who could do solos: Danny, Sabra, and Neil all did some great ones in Season 3. And of course Travis killed in Season 2. It definitely seems like this season's dancers are just not of the caliber to which we've grown accustomed.

More play-by-play:

• I'm not the biggest fan of this "I Don't Hook Up" song, but Kelly Clarkson was the first musical guest this season that didn't have me reaching for the mute button at some point during the performance.

The results:

Girls: Nigel says Jeanine is safe because she did, without question, the strongest solo of the night. Take notes, fellow dancers: leaps, pirouettes, leg extensions. Nigel says that Kayla's solo wasn't great and just looked like she was doing a lot of kicks. Nigel says that Karla is a fantastic dancer but hasn't captured the star quality they thought she had, so she's going home. Which is not a surprise and (unfortunately) means that I've gotten another one right in the EW SYTYCD prediction game. Poor Karla. She just didn't get all that lucky in this competition: Jonathan held her back a bit then she got the quick step then she got stuck in the bottom 3 with a judges' favorite and someone who did a great solo.

Guys: Nigel says Philip's solo was a little desperate tonight and that they feel like he still has a lot of hard work to do to manage the other genres, but he gets to stay anyway. Nigel asked Vitolio to step forward and Kupono steps forward. Ha ha--that was great! Nigel says that Vitolio always looks like he's going to be a major star but never really delivers. Nigel says Kupono is lucky that this isn't So You Think You Can Choreograph because his solo was weak. But it's the end of the road for Vitolio. Again, no surprise there. (I've gone two-for-two again with predictions.) I feel badly for Vitolio too, however. Vitolio says the best part of SYTYCD for him was that he's received a lot of e-mails from people saying that he's inspired them. (Who has Chbeeb inspired? Nappy-Tabs apparently.)

Kayla and Kupono did have lackluster solos, but ultimately I'm glad they didn't go home tonight because they really shouldn't have been in the bottom 3 at all this week. But, even though the writing was on the wall for Vitolio and Karla, seeing them eliminated still kind of sucks.

SYTYCD: Vampires, Aliens and Ballerinas, Oh My!

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 14 Performance Show"

The episode started off with quite a dramatic opening montage, seeing as it's only Top 14 night. (That intro seemed like it was designed for the finales or at least the week the cuts for the Top 10 are made.)

Cat's dress is a little on the boring side again this week. Strapless, hot pink, poofy skirt, kind of prom-y. She has at least paired it with kind of a punky belt, however.

Has the line above the U in Kupono always been there? I've not noticed it before. I guess I've got to start figuring out how to get that symbol in Blogger... or not.

Oh nooooo, the third judge is Mia! Poor Brandon. Hushed silence as we wait to find out if Mia pulled the stick out of her butt in regards to Brandon. She reports that her opinion of him has improved. So that's nice. I was sure they were going to milk that later in the show: Brandon performs and Mia suddenly has an epiphany and realizes that he doesn't represent everything she hates in the world after all. And everyone cries.

Do we need to do such a thorough retrospective on every couple's three previous routines? It's only been three weeks!! I still remember all of their previous dances.

Janette and Brandon (Jean Marc & France Genereux cha cha):

• The featurette: Janette's bangs/hair really bother me.
• The dance: I like Janette's hair poofier like this. This routine is pretty good. Janette's obviously really good at it, and Brandon's keeping up well. It wasn't really a Benji/Heidi-caliber Latin-style routine, but will anything ever be? I'm beginning to think no.
• The judging: Nigel says this was "the best damn cha cha ever on this show." I'm not convinced, but upon further reflection, I remember that Benji and Heidi did a "club salsa" and a "mambo" but not a cha cha, so all comparisons to them are, in fact, completely irrelevant. Apparently, salsa technique (Janette's specialty) and cha cha technique are totally different. After a remarkably reserved and articulate critique, Mary gives them two first-class tickets on the hot tamale train and totally loses it. Mia tries to explain her past pissiness off as her recognition that Brandon has great talent and her wanting to be harder on him so that she can drive him to his full capabilities. I think she might just be kinda mean. Or that the producers told her to pick someone random and just skewer them to create some drama on the show. Whatever.

Kayla and Kupono (Sonya Tayeh contemporary): Enjoy your gift, kids. I can't imagine a more favorable combination of style and choreographer for these two dancers at this point in the competition.

• The featurette: Sonya's hopping right onto the pop culture vampire bandwagon with this routine.
• The dance: And, just in case we didn't get it, the song (Blue Foundation's "Eyes on Fire") comes straight off the Twilight soundtrack. I'm loving Kayla in this. Kupono's okay. I'm kind of wishing that he was Mark right now though. Mark + vampires would be absolutely creeptastic! I think they could have done a little more with Kupono's makeup for this one. He does not look all that vampire-ish; his lips aren't red enough.
• The judging: Nigel mention's Twilight and Sonya goes "YES!" in the audience. Lol, that seemed excessive. Nigel says that he's not going to talk about Kayla first because Kupono was so awesome. Ok, whatever. Mary likes it too and wants to know where Kup's beautiful kicks came from. Mia thinks this is Sonya's best piece ever on the show. (I still like "The Garden" better.)

We're 35 minutes in, and only two couples have performed. Oh my freaking heck...

Randy and Evan (Joey Dowling Broadway):

• The featurette: The couple reflects on their charmed life in this competition (getting assigned jazz, jive, and contemporary routines). And now Broadway! This is Evan's specialty. Ha ha, this Joey chick is hardcore.
• The dance: That opening spin/kick-(cartwheel)-on-the-table thing from Evan was awesome. Evan also looks way hotter than usual tonight. And this routine is eons better than most of Tyce's Broadway routines. Let's lock this Joey lady down! Evan was really good, and Randi was good too.
• The judging: Nigel thinks that their wrists need to be more flexible. Seriously? How does one make one's wrist more flexible in a week? Nigel says Randi did well but that Evan could do more. Mary says she really enjoyed it, but the tone of her voice doesn't sound too convincing. Mia says that since Evan and Randi are short, they need to take the dancing to an even higher level. Mia says Randi's dancing was "a little heavy." Mia also says "good job," but in a way that makes it sound like she's saying "that was the most horrendous piece of crap I've ever seen."

Wow, does Katherine Heigl's The Ugly Truth look terrible, or what?

Caitlin and Jason (Brian Friedman pop jazz):

• The featurette: Jason's personality seems a bit too calm for this show. He's very chill, and chill is rare on SYTYCD. Brian's back! Catlin is an alien who blew up Earth and then comes down to find the last man left with whom she can procreate. Now we're talking.
• The dance: Santigold!! "Creator" is a kick-ass track and it fits this theme well. Caitlin's doing pretty well with her alien role, but Jason's looking really good, even though his role isn't as flashy. Actually, he's kind of killing this. His pop jazz movements are superb. Isn't anyone going to suck this week? Who are we going to put in the bottom three?
• The judging: Nigel thinks Brian comes from another planet. Are those cuts on Jason's face part of his costume? OMG, Nigel just said that Caitlin's outfit makes her look like a "dancing condom." Cat: "Safety first, Nigel." Mary says this doesn't sit right with her. Come on, what's the big deal? How was this any weirder than crash test dummies or vampires or comic books or foxes or transformers or mannequins or any of the other weirdo stuff they've had on this show before? Would we seriously rather watch the same sappy contemporary routines about lovers getting together and then breaking up over and over and over again? I would not.

Jeanine and Phillip (Napoleon and Tabitha hip hop): ARE YOU SERIOUS?! They're doing another Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine? They did a Nappy-Tabs routine in week one! This is week four! That means that two of their four routines have been Nappy-Tabs hip hop routines! Come on! I realize that Phillip hasn't been showing that he can do any other style particularly well, but that's no reason to keep serving his specialty up to him.

• The featurette: Phillip describing how he felt when his pants ripped last week was hilarious.
• The dance: Kayne West's "Love Lockdown," get it? Because they're chained together? I appreciate that the addition of this chain must make this whole thing much harder, but the problem is that they're making it look like it's hard. I thought they were going to take each other out for awhile there. I'm not super impressed. Even the parts where they could ignore the chain and just dance for a while didn't seem that great because everything looked so much like what they did in week one.
• The judging: Nigel, however, loves it. Nigel actually uses the term "Nappy-Tabs." I thought that term was kind of derogatory, so I'd been refraining from using it. Mary says that this routine was just so incredibly creative. So to Mary, chains = creative, but aliens = no good. Oookay. Somehow Mary and Nigel both manage to not mention that this couple already did a Nappy-Tabs hip hop routine just weeks ago! Mia, however, thinks the chain made things look sloppy, and I agree. Way to sock it to Nappy-Tabs, Mia!

Melissa and Ade (Thordal Christensen classical/traditional pa de deux):

• The featurette: I guess this is the first "classical" pa de deux because Melissa's going to wear pointe shoes. So obviously this the only couple who could pull this style off, as Melissa is the only pointe dancer. I mean, can you even imagine Phillip trying to do a classical pa de deux?
• The dance: Beautiful. Not as flashy as SYTYCD routines are known to be--just very simple and classy. Excellent lifts. Melissa was lovely and Ade did all right. I would like to see them do a routine sometime that puts more focus on Ade, however. I feel like he's almost always there just to lift Melissa.
• The judging: Nigel almost wets himself over this, and then points out that tonight we've seen aliens impregnate dancers, dancers in chains, and now classical ballet. Mia says that Melissa was brilliant.

And now for a special announcement: Nigel, Adam Shankman, Carrie-Anne Inaba and Katie Holmes (naturally) have established The Dizzy Feet Foundation to benefit young, underprivileged dancers. They are kind of making it sound like no one has ever given scholarships to dancers in need before. In any event, Katie Holmes looks far better here in this interview than she's looked in years. Also involved is the top-notch team of Lil C, Paula Abdul, Miley Cyrus, Jennifer Lopez, and Debbie Allen. (Debbie is actually top-notch. Miley, not so much.) For more information: DizzyFeetFoundation.org.

Then Nigel announces (to no one's surprise) that SYTYCD's 100th episode on July 23 will include a tribute to Judy Garland choreographed by Tyce Diorio featuring Katie Holmes, who "donated her entire performance fee" to Dizzy Feet. Since when can Katie Holmes demand a performance fee for dancing? She was on freaking Dawson's Creek. That's like Adam Brody showing up on American Idol and expecting to get paid for singing.

Karla and Vitolio (Jean Marc & France Genereux quick step): These poor kids almost got kicked off last week and now they've got to end the show with a quick step!? It sure seems like they are getting thrown under the proverbial bus.

• The featurette: Jonathan looks just as happy sitting in the audience tonight as he did when he was actually in the competition. Vitolio already had to do a ballroom routine; cut this kid a break.
• The dance: I love Karla's polka dot outfit...whoa, and then all of a sudden it turns into a flowy pink dress! I'm no quick step expert, but this looks okay. I'm not sure that the quick step technique was impeccable, but the routine was fun: there was some Charleston and there was a little bit of a story. It was nice. I don't know if it will really inspire people to vote for them though. I think this does prove that Jonathan was holding Karla back a bit.
• The judging: Nigel and Mary both like it. Mia says Jean Marc is a genius and that this piece was amazing. Mia says that at times Vitolio looks like "a wild horse" who cannot be tamed, but sometimes he's great. Vitolio: "It was the kiss of death, but hopefully we made it the kiss of joy." That was a sweet thing to say, Vitolio, but I think it's going to take more than that to keep you out of the bottom three.

Phillip almost took Karla out when they first started to dance during the end credits. Other than that, the end credits dancing was much improved this week.

My favorites: Kayla and Kupono's contemporary, Caitlin and Jason's pop jazz, Randi and Evan's Broadway

Headed for the bottom three: It's kind of a tough one to call this week. I'm thinking Karla and Vitolio, Caitlin and Jason (due solely to the judges' lackluster critiques), and maybe Brandon and Janette (just because they went early and didn't have one of the gimmicky "marquee" routines of the night).

Greek: It's the End of the World as We Know It

Greek:

"At World's End"

I've really been delayed in getting around to watching the second season finale (I think that's what this episode technically was) of Greek, but I was really in the mood to watch something fun, and Greek definitely delivered with this episode.

Granted, I could frankly take or leave this Cappie/Casey stuff at this point, and I was sad to see Max in such despair when he finally saw the writing on the wall about that situation, but for the most part, this episode was fun, fun, fun. The best part was that it managed to work in almost all of the show's mostly awesome characters. (Evan and Beaver did get a little bit shafted, but they were there. I don't think Betsy was in it though, but she was mentioned.) And the episode had so much fantastic Dale/Calvin interaction, that it was impossible not to love it.

Highlights and observations:

• Dale's distaste at Rusty and Jordan's debate on "Jordy" vs. "Rustdan"
• Dale: "Can anybody tell me why this class is worth three units? Every first-grader in Wetumpka knows that the pig is whipping that guy because of lustfulness."
• Ash: "I feel kind of Betsy-ish having a drink at lunch anyway."
• Is it a bad sign that when Max came home early, he knew he'd find Casey in the bar during lunchtime?
• Aww, Max got Casey the lipstick she wanted from his advisor lady.
• Ash: "You know how P. Diddy has an all-white ball in the Hamptons? I was thinking that we could do a similar thing here and have an all-blue ball."
  Cappie: "I can't top that."
• Frannie: "Everyone knows you hate my house."

  Cappie: "I like the English Tudor style."
• Ashleigh might get expelled from the university over this homecoming float prank?! Sheesh.
• Max: "Good, because I just picked out the costumes for our Star Wars wedding.
• The Kappa Taus brainstorming is usually hilarious. (The highlight here being Ben Bennett's "No, girls!" and Cappie's "No girls!?"
• Jordan: "We talked about the end of the world in art history today."
  Cappie: "That's it!"

  Heath: "Art history, baby!"
• Dale and Calvin together are just too funny.
• Dale: "See, she's making me a sundae! She's putting the chocolate on two scoops of...breasts, breasts, breasts...."

  Calvin: "I think she's looking for the banana split, Dale."
• Calvin: "Why can't your purity pledge brothers help you out with this?

  Dale: "They took a trip to Fire Island together. Smart guys too; in this economy, they booked a single queen to save money. Speaking of single queens, what are you going to do about Grant?"
• Calvin: "We're in the same fraternity. Having sex with your brother is like--"

  Dale: "Having sex with your brother?"
• Aww, a Dale and Calvin purity pledge!
• At least Casey didn't get dirty when she fell down the manhole.
• Aww, I'd forgotten that I like Max/Rusty way more than I like Max/Casey.
• Max is looking kind of buff. He must be beefing up for Melrose Place version 2.0.
• WHAT?!?! Now there are marijuana plants in a sorority house?! Put another tally in the "Greek rips off Veronica Mars" column.
• Dale: "But, baby, won't we be late for Showgirls?"
• Rusty's advisor: "Why would you take a liberal arts class as an elective? Those classes seem easy because they're stupid! I tried to have that whole side of the campus razed, but apparently hippies need classrooms too."

  Rusty: "Stupid hippies. That tie-dyed guy in the quad is the one who recommended art history!"
• Why is Casey tripping and falling so much? Her equilibrium seems very off. Does she have an inner-ear imbalance or something?
• If Sheila's so interested in having sex, maybe she shouldn't date 19-year-old Christian boys who have taken purity pledges.
• Calvin: "Sheila, stop! Dale is my boyfriend!"
• Aww, Frannie threw herself under the bus a little bit to save Ash. That was a flash of niceness. Kind of. Maybe.
• Soooo, about Jordan, does anyone else miss Jen K.? Just kidding, that was mean. Jordan's not that bad.
• Ash: "You used to be this focused, driven person. When did you become this girl? Someone who sits around making lists and second-guessing your choices. Paging Dr. Grey! No, wait, you are more like Joey Potter. No, you're worse. You're the F word."

  Casey: "Don't say it!"

  Ash: "Felicity."

  Casey: "You bitch."
• Actually, Casey's kind of like Kate from Lost. Kate's the ultimate bouncer between love interests.
• Casey's eye makeup is kind of goth for making lists.
• Um, shouldn't Casey break up with Max before shoving Cappie into a closet and having her way with him? This is not very classy behavior.
• Cappie: "You'll remember that I'm a childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable, unambitious frat guy who let you down before, and that's why we didn't work."
• Well, good luck at Cal Tech, Max. Hopefully the girls there have some more class.
• Cappie: "To a new world, gentlemen! Good riddance to the things we hated and may we not miss the things we loved!"
• I take that back, Jordan is that annoying. I hereby reinstate the Jen K. comment.
• Dale: "But it's not the end of the world! Don't you read the scriptures I leave on your pillow? There's going to be signs!"
• Casey having too much alone time is kind of what got us into this mess in the first place.
• Grant: "I wanted to let you know that your boyfriend's cheating on you. With a woman."
• Wade (after catching Calvin's purity pledge ring): "My precious!"
• Aww, poor Max. Casey is not worth this.
• Casey opening the door and saying "Oh, what are you doing here?" while we can't see who she's talking to is another send up to Veronica Mars (the season one finale). It was pretty funny that it ended up being Frannie.
• This is not the end of the semester, right? Rusty said he still has time to fix his grade, but Frannie's saying goodbye to Casey now? Even if Frannie shuts down the sorority, if she still has to finish her classes, she's probably going to see Casey on campus sometime.
• Fisher! They're cramming everyone into this episode.

So, I'm thinking that Casey and Cappie are going to get together and be relatively happy for, oh, about 10 minutes, and then she will start to remember that he's childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable and unambitious. And then, hey, hasn't Evan been looking kind of good lately and acting kind of sweet? And, boom, we're off and running on Cappie/Casey/Evan triangle version 3.0. (Or is it 4.0 by now?) We only saw the original Casey-is-with-Cappie-but-starts-to-like-Evan saga play out in that one flashback episode though, so we could probably sit through it again, but it would be kind of nice if Greek surprises me and comes up with something new. And, by the way, Evan dating Rebecca does NOT count as "something new."

We won't have to wait long to see what Cappie's going to do next--new episodes of Greek return in August! What I'm most excited to see, however, is Kadeem Hardison a.k.a. Dwayne Wayne from A Different World guest starring as Ashleigh's dad. I seriously loved A Different World when I was little, so I'm all kinds of excited about this casting.

(photo: ABC Family via Jbabzy)

Make It Or Break It: Falling Off the Beam

Make It Or Break It:
"Pilot"

I love gymnastics. I also tend to love ABC Family original shows (The Secret Life of the American Teenager being the glaring exception to that). So, therefore, I should love Make It Or Break It, an ABC Family original show about gymnastics, right? Mmm, not so much. Turns out, I kind of hated it. For both its complete lack of knowledge about gymnastics and its complete lack of the elements (humor, witty dialogue, interesting characters, etc.) that make/made shows like Greek, Kyle XY and (to a lessor extent) Wildfire so enjoyable.

Full disclosure: I've been a fan of Chelsea Hobbs since Beach Girls. I think I mainly like her because she looks like Rachel Melvin from Days Of Our Lives.

There was so much ridiculousness in this episode that I have to do a play-by-play account to document some of it:

• Whoa, the dude on still rings has some seriously floppy hair.
• There's going to be a Sports Illustrated cover on gymnasts before Nationals even happens? Yeah right. Did we learn that lesson after the Kristy Phillips situation?
• Why are they talking about "team order" at Nationals? Since when is gymnastics Nationals a team competition? (Answer: it's not.)
• Why is orange leo (Lauren) so worked up after seeing someone do a couple of back handsprings through to a single tuck on floor? She shouldn't be threatened by that.
• Ok, that 2.5 twist/punch front was a little more impressive.
• Emily watched "the Northern Open"? On TV?! Gymnastics can barely get decent coverage of Nationals on TV most years. Let's be honest here: if she saw this "Northern Open" anywhere, it almost certainly was by tapping into a Dutch television station's feed on the Internet in the middle of the night. (Yes, I'm speaking from experience.)
• Payson just did a brilliant Gainer layout off beam. (Please detect my sarcasm.) Lauren's back tuck dismount was also fantastic (eye roll).
• Oh great, Lauren's already barfing up her breakfast. We're less than 10 minutes in, and someone's already got an eating disorder.
• They're seriously concerned about losing to a girl who is afraid of the vault?
• Does everyone's entire family have to show up and watch every practice? Gymnastics lessons are expensive--don't these people have to go to their jobs?!
• Candace Cameron Bure! Playing someone religious. How surprising. Seriously, though, why's Candace with Lauren's sketchy dad?
• Payson is way over the top. She can't talk to her family because she's needs to "focus" during the car ride home?
• Uh, if "getting caught with a boy" gets you immediately kicked off the team, shouldn't Kaylie and Floppy Hair (Carter) park and make out a little further away from the gym?
• Emily: "How was the new school?"
  Brother: "Different dog, same poop."
• Emily's mom needs to be a little more organized.
• Kaylie: "If he finds out, he was kill you. No seriously, like blood-and-cops-and-teddy-bears and-candles-on-the-sidewalk kill you."
• Ooh, the boy in the pizza shop is cute! A little on the creepy side, however.
• Uh oh, the manager of the pizza shop is a meth-head.
• It also seems kind of unlikely that a gymnastics competition would start that early in the morning. (With the exception of NBC messing up the scheduling of some of the Beijing competitions so that they could be aired live in the U.S.)
• Ok, folks, gymnasts qualify for Nationals as individuals. Each gym does not get to send a team of a certain number of people.
• There's a PA announcer at an inter-gym comp?
• Kaylie was 8th in US at Nationals on uneven bars last year with a whole lot of nothing in her routine and a double tuck dismount?
• At least MIOBI got the flame leotards right. (The Inferno leos went into rotation in 2003, but the flame trend is apparently still alive and kicking.)
• Wow, Lauren did a double front dismount. That's actually a legitimate move.
• Emily also pulls out a (back) double tuck dismount (without pointing her feet).
• Just for the record: The UB scores were Payson 16.075; Kaylie 16.070; Lauren 15.325; Emily 15.100. (Lauren got screwed--she's the only one who did a legit dismount.) For reference, in last year's Olympic All-Around competition, Nastia got 16.65 and Shawn was pulling around 15.275. And they were, you know, actually doing skills.
• After floor: Payson: 31.450; Kaylie: 31.125; Lauren 30.125; Emily 30.050
• The floor tumbling was pretty weak too. You can usually see more impressive tumbling on the results show of So You Think You Can Dance.
• Oh, and NO legitimate competition would ever have people compete bars then floor then beam then vault. Olympic order is vault, bars, beam, floor.
• The Rock gym gets to send 18 people to Nationals?!?! 18!! That's like half the entire field of athletes! What kind of nonsense is this?
• Lauren: flip flop-flip flop-layout stepout (fall) on beam. A skill series rarely seen since 1996. And this is the unbelievable beam routine we've heard so much about?
• If Payton is soooooooooo focused, why is she so intently watching her competitors? Seems like that would be distracting.
• Emily nails her flip-flop, flip-flop, layout stepout like it's 1992. And caps the routine off with a full twisting back tuck dismount!? UGH. (Shawn Johnson did a full twisting double tuck dismount last year, BTW.)
• Payson 46.900; Kaylie 46.375; Emily 46.100; Lauren 43.875
• Why is Lauren "out" if Emily beats her?
• Payson's vault is the hardest in the comp and "has never been landed in competition before." Well, we sure couldn't see much of it, but it looked like a Yurchenko layout (no twists). Hate to break it to you, MIOBI, but girls are landing that vault with an extra 2.5 twists in it.
• I have NO IDEA what vault Emily was just trying to do. She was doing a front flip between her roundoff and touching the vault? What the hell is that? I don't care where the spring board is located, that wasn't going to go well.
• Waaaaaaait. Now they're doing their second vaults?! As in, they got warmed up (actually they didn't, but let's pretend), everyone vaulted, and then they are going to start from the beginning and all vault again after standing around cooling down for however long this process has taken? There better be room for more than one girl in that ambulance, because this is freaking dangerous.
• Kaylie does a Yurchenko pike (or tuck).
• Why does the mom from Fresno have a Southern accent?
• Noooooooooo! Don't let the girl who just fell on her neck go vault! These people are asking for it.
• Ohhhh, Emily was apparently trying to do a Tsukahara entry. She "nails" her Tsuk back tuck this time.
• Final results: Payson 62.250; Kaylie 60.925; Emily 60.800; Lauren 58.050
• I thought the two vault scores were supposedly averaged? There's no way that Emily's score for her second vault averaged with her 0.00 on the first one would allow her to have a higher all-around score than Lauren.
• Because I'm taking this way too seriously, I've compiled everyone's scores on all four events. For reference, I've added Nastia and Shawn's scores in the Beijing all-around. Going by MIOBI standards, I think Shawn has a serious beef with the bars judges. And Nastia needs to complain that she got a lower score on vault than Payson, despite doing the same vault with 1.5 extra twists.

• Wow, Lauren's a peach. Selling out Kaylie to get back in the top three was real classy. Of course, she learned her tactics from her father, who hired a PI to dig up dirt on Emily.
• Not surprisingly, the PI found found more juicy dirt on the head gymnastics coach than he did on the teenage girl.
• Scores of media are now camped out on Payson's front lawn. Uh huh.
• There are no other coaches in this gym? And now there's no electricity either? This place is a disaster.
• Seriously, the girl in the Playtex Sport commercial just did more bona fide gymnastics skills in this 30 second ad than all of the girls in MIOBI did in 60 minutes.

Um, I'm not impressed. If they are going to make this show this gymnastics-centric, they need to do a hell of a lot more research about how things work the world of gymnastics today. If they made the show more of a teen soap, just with some gymnastics in the background, they would have a better chance of pulling this off.

A good example of what I'm talking about is Wildfire. Yes, it was a show about horse racing. A lot of the drama and plot points came from events involved with horse racing. And, yes, Wildfire's depiction of the world of horseracing was probably no more accurate than MIOBI's depiction of gymnastics. But, when Wildfire was at its most entertaining, it was a show about Junior, Kris, Matt, Dani, their parents and the supporting characters (and sometimes the wind turbine) and horse racing just served as the background. After all, if I want to watch a horse race, I'll watch a horse race not a television show on ABC Family. And if I want to watch a gymnastics competition, I'll watch a gymnastics competition (even if I have to get up in the middle of the night and queue up the Dutch channel on the Internet). MIOBI needs to bring something else to the table.

(It occurred to me that this show would have worked soooo much better if they made it about a college gymnastics team. Then all this "team" mumbo jumbo would have made sense. As would having a "scholarship kid." And it would be cool to have some girls on the team be famous former Olympians and other girls be unknowns. But in that scenario, you wouldn't get to have the crazy stage parents, but that's no big loss in my opinion.)

Update:
After watching episode 2, "Where's Marty," I'm feeling a little better about MIOBI, because ep 2 focused more on the drama and less on the actual gymnastics. The show is still nothing to write home about, but I did enjoy Lauren's dad getting all excited about her two-foot half turn on beam. I mean, yeah, it would have been impressive if she were age 2 or 3 at the most. And the girls scaring away the creepy guys via roundoffs and back handsprings was just too ridiculous.

(photo: abcfamily.com)

SYTYCD: Eliminations on a Sad Night

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 16 Results Show

My predictions: Asuka and Jonathan are going home tonight.

Play-by-play recap:

• Cat's wearing a full-length halter top jump suit with a black and white palm tree pattern. This get-up certainly isn't boring (like her dress last night). It's also kind of Farrah Fawcett/Charlie's Angels-esque, which is an appropriate tribute in light of Farrah's passing today.
• The group performs a sexy Latin-inspired number. Whoa, I actually liked a Napoleon and Tabitha group number? Bizarre. It must have been Dmitry's influence that won me over. That was quite a hot performance, but I'm not sure it was necessary to hose down a few of the girls and have them dancing in pools of water though.
• Nigel has a tall order here tonight. He has to eulogize Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. MJ especially ties right into SYTYCD. Hopefully they'll be able to do a Michael Jackson tribute group number sometime in the near future. (Obviously they didn't have time to whip one together for tonight.) Actually, what would be awesome would be if they did a performance show theme night where all the couples dance to Michael Jackson songs. Get on that, Nigel.
• BTW, here's a video of the Season 4 contestants doing "Thriller" on tour for Halloween last year (thanks to SYTYCDism for calling my attention to this clip). And just for good measure, here's Jennifer Garner's version in 13 Going on 30 (Doesn't it seem strange that so many people in publishing turned out to be such good dancers? I digress...)
• Wow, they brought five couples on the stage for results all at once! That might be a record.
• As I suspected, Asuka and Vitolio are in the bottom three.
• I wonder if Ade's heard the "What a difference Ade makes"/"It was Ade to remember" puns before. I'm thinking he has.
• Also as I suspected, Jonathan and Karla and Caitlin and Jason are in the bottom three. So I correctly predicted all three. Go me. I might actually get one right on the EW prediction competition this week.
• We're treated to a performance by a large group of young b-boys/hip hoppers. I love how they all look like they are having so much fun! And, holy cow, they just launched the little guy with big hair across the stage! Cat was pretty much beside herself over these kids. They definitely gave the most entertaining "superstars from the world of dance" performance on SYTYCD this season.

The solos:

Asuka: Well, it's gotta be either her of Caitlin going home tonight for the girls... And this solo probably isn't doing much to plead her case. Even taking into account that ballroom solos are usually not too fantastic, this one was not impressive. The best part was Cat's "She's got fringe, and she's not afraid to shake it."

Vitolio: He's wearing no shirt (crap, I got that question wrong on the EW prediction game). Dancing to Coldplay, doing lots of jumps and arm/leg flailing. Not bad/not great. Ended with some strange butt wiggling.

Karla: Ok, she just won me over for good, because she's dacing to Radiohead's "15 Step," which is a flipping fantastic song. I think that automatically makes her my official favorite girl in this competition. Unfortunately, her time runs out right as the song gets really good. (Her dancing seemed good enough, but I was definitely so distracted by the song that I missed some of the finer points.)

Jonathan: Began with what looked like a martial arts display then did some flips and some "Latin steps" that I'm not impressed with. I'd be shocked if he doesn't get the boot this week.

Caitlin: Dancing to a slow version of "Que Sera Sera" and it's actually rather lovely. She ends it with a round-off, layout back flip, I guess to prove to Jon that she can tumble too.

Jason: Definitely a follower of the Travis Wall School of Dancing: his choreo here is very Travis and he's even wearing cargo shorts, which Travis was so fond of. But, seriously, I've got no probably with Travis Wall impressions. Jason's solo was the best of the boys tonight. (I bet Jason's having a rough day, since he was such a Michael Jackson devotee as a child.)

More play-by-play:

• I was actually not totally hating the musical performance (by the Veronicas) for one of the few times in SYTYCD history, until the song devolved into a repeat chorus of "I want to kiss a girl...I want to kiss a girl...I want to kiss a boy...I want to kiss a boy..." That was kind of ridiculous.
• And then the blond Veronica let out a horrifying scream at the end (worse even then Danny Gokey at the end of "Dream On," I'd say).

The results:

The girls: Nigel says Caitlin gave the best solo tonight and she's save. And Caitlin's literally just as shocked as the rest of us about that, LOL. Nigel says that Karla looked a little "desperate" tonight. Nigel is still infatuated with Asuka, but she's going home anyway. (I finally got one right on the EW prediction game! Yea!) I wonder if Asuka made that necklace she's wearing. If she did, I'm not convinced that she has a future in jewelry design...


The guys: How could the judges not be unanimous about this decision? It's obvious Jon needs to go. Nigel says that Vitolio needs to not hold back anymore. Nigel now says that Jon hasn't been good enough repeatedly this season (duh). Nigel says that Jason looked "desperate" tonight too--and insults his outfit! Ouch! Nigel apparently doesn't like Travis impersonations as much as I do. Nigel lectures Jon and Vitolio some more about not being strong enough, but says that Vitolio gets to stay. Jon getting the boot is apparently not going to break that many hearts, Nigel, because it sure doesn't seem like a lot of people are voting for him. (And, yea! I got another prediction right! I'm kicking ass and taking names this week!)

SYTYCD: Finding the Groove

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 16 Performance Show"

Yea! I'm actually home to watch (and blog) a SYTYCD performance show for the first time this season! I'm so happy about that!

Last week's eliminations: Ashley got a little screwed. I wish that Caitlin's pretty good solo wouldn't have been able to make up for her poor performances during the performance shows. I think she's in over her head and the producers just want to keep her around because she's blond and pretty. Max, on the other hand, got REALLY screwed. During both week's performance shows, he was impressive, and he did a good ballroom solo too. I like Kupono (I think his to-do lists are adorable and I like that he's kind of like last season's Mark), but if this show were fair, he would have gone home. His hip hop during the performance show was not good, and his solo was sub-par. I didn't think he was even doing much dancing during the solo. And, of course, I'm royally peeved that they tossed the ballroom boy out already (I'm not counting Jonathan as a ballroom boy because I'm not convinced that he actually is one.)

BTW, this post over at SYTYCD Social does a good job of articulating a theory that might explain why this season feels a little off. Personally, I think it has some merit.

Tonight's show:

Is this the most conventional dress Cat's ever worn on the show? (It's kind of Grecian with gold trim at the neckline and waist.) I feel like I've seen dresses like this a thousand times before. It's almost boring!

Karla and Jonathan (Dave Scott hip hop):

• The featurette: How exactly did Jonathan go from gymnast to Latin dancer? I'm not sure I understand. Why do none of this season's boys have the ability to do a good gangster face? Jon kinda looks like Ashley Parker Angel in the face. (How embarrassed am I that just admitted to remembering O-Town?)
• The dance: Karla's good at this. I'm not so sure about Jason. Maybe it's just that his shiny silver pants aren't doing him any favors. They certainly don't make him look anymore like a gangster. I liked the routine better than most of the Napoleon and Tabitha routines (and the Shane Sparks ones last week), but it wasn't performed all that well.
• The judging: Nigel is flipping out and says that he bets they'll be in the bottom three this week. Hey, speaking of Cat's dress being conventional--Mary's almost wearing the same one! Toni Basil says they had no groove or funk. I kind of feel bad for Karla--she was all right, but Jon's badness distracted the judges.

Asuka and Vitolio (Mandy Moore jazz):

• The featurette: Asuka makes jewelry for ballroom dancers. Mandy choreographed a rocker jazz routine. I'm glad they're doing this style this week, because I was wondering how Asuka would do with a jazz or contemporary routine. Poor Asuka's been reduced to tears, and Vitolio is being very sweet to her. That was one heck of a play for the sympathy vote ;-)
• The dance: I'm kind of distracted by Vitolio's tight light blue pants. This is not my favorite jazz routine ever, but I'm not sure how much of that is the choreography and how much of that is the performance. I'm going to say 40% choreo (just not as cool as Sonya's routines have been) and 60% performance?
• The judging: Is Asuka really a sweetheart, as Vitolio says? It seems like she rubs a lot of people the wrong way. Nigel says Mandy gave them simple steps. That might explain some of my issues with the routine--it just like kind of simple. I do like Asuka's rocker makeup though. LOL, so Toni's saying that the best part of their work this week was how Vitolio acted before and after the actual routine.

Melissa and Ade (Tony Meredith rumba):

• The featurette: Ade looks like he is a disaster at the rumba. As in, he looks like me trying to do the rumba ;-)
• The dance: Well, Melissa is wearing the customary half-dress that all girls wear when they rumba. And this dress really catches the light. Looks like they've gotten a lot better at the technique since the first practice. By far the highlights of this dance were the displays of her leg flexibility. I think they're doing a good job with the technique and performance, but I still find rumbas to be boring.
• The judging: Cat wishes she were wearing Melissa's dress. Nigel: "What a difference 'Ade' makes." Mary's freaking out because Ade was "grooving" and it's a little creepy.

Janette and Brandon (Dave Scott hip hop):

• The featurette: Brandon likes to make the stage look "all sparkly." Janette likes banking and loans. I was also wondering how Brandon and Janette would do with hip hop, so I'm glad we get to find out tonight.
• The dance: Well, that is one hell of an outfit they've got on Janette! Janette's doing pretty well with her chair dance at the beginning of the routine. And, I gotta say, I'm loving Brandon's hip hop dancing! It's light and fluid like you'd expect from a contemporary dancer, but it's freaking good. This was easily the best hip hop routine of the season: best choreography and best performances.
• The judging: Mary and Nigel point out that these two did really well with hip hop which is very different than their personal styles. Mary gives them a scream. Toni says they had the groove.

Kayla and Kupono (Jean-Marc Genereux Viennese waltz): These two almost got kicked off last week, and they're making them do the Viennese waltz this week?! Ouch. I want to see Kupono try to do Latin--I feel like that would be funny.

• The featurette: Is Kayla tall enough to be a runway model? I'm not surprised that Kupono likes costume design--not just anyone would go on national television with half of a green boa attached to his shirt. Kupono says he lacks upper body strength.
• The dance: The set design (a cityscape projected with lights) is really cool. It's probably bad that I'm paying more attention to the set than I am to the dancing though. I'm no Viennese waltz expert, but I thought that this one looked pretty good.
• The judging: Cat: "Sometimes when a dancer reaches into a hat and pulls out the Viennese waltz, they die a million deaths." Nigel says they did a beautiful job but concedes that people think Viennese waltzes are boring. (Then why are we still doing so many of them on this show, Nigel?) Mary tries to bolster the cause of Viennese waltzers everywhere by putting these two on the Hot Tamale Train.

Randi and Evan (Mia Michael's contemporary): Didn't these two just dance a contemporary routine two weeks ago? I guess that was "jazz" but it was very contemporary-esque. It wasn't choreographed by Mia though, and this marks her first couple routine of the season (she choreographed the Top 18 group dance). But I wanted to see Evan try hip hop, darn it!

• The featurette: Is it just me who is unfamiliar with this "gearhead" term? Evan's still trying to get mileage out of his joke about the jive being "fun." Well, Evan, if you're working with Mia, this week might not be so fun ;-) What's this about him being hypnotized by Randi's booty? What?
• The dance: What is Evan wearing? He looks like a hobo. Randi's doing a lot of dancing with one bare foot and one stiletto, which doesn't look easy. Randi's dancing is really reminding me specifically of someone, but I'm not sure who. Maybe Lauren from Season 3 or Allison from Season 2? I don't know, I'm leaning toward Allison. Whatever, I like this routine. I think Randi (and not just her butt) is overshadowing Evan though.
• The juding: Cat: "Cheeky!" Nigel: "...but--and there is a butt..." Nigel definitely planned this critique out ahead of time. He's not just spouting off these butt puns off the top of his head. He says the routine was kind of simple (for Mia), but it was well-danced. If Randi is sooooo uncomfortable with people people looking at her butt, why would she own so many unitards with hot pants? Speaking of butts, Toni is doing some major kissing of Mia's.

Caitlin and Jason (Jean-Marc & France Genereux paso doble):

• The featurette: Caitlin definitely has a broadcast journalist vibe to her. Our first paso of the season.
• The dance: The routine starts out with an impressive opening that showcases Caitlin's exceptional flexibility. Jason just made a "ROAR!" face, and I didn't buy it at all. He looks like a extra in a Robin Hood movie in this costume. The dancing looked a little rough towards the end of the routine. They did really try to make it intense though.
• The judging: Nigel does not seem blown away, but he says they did a good job. Mary's trying to tell us that this was a strong performance; and I might have believed her, if she hadn't just said that Jason looks great in that costume. Her credibility is shot to heck now.

Jeanine and Phillip (Tyce Diorio Broadway):

• The featurette: Phillip wants to be an inventor. Jeanine wants to be an actress (yet she's on a dancing show). Lol, Tyce just yelled "Get over it!" at Phillip. Ugh, I hope Phillip makes it the whole way over the couch tonight.
• The dance: He cleared the couch! In other news, I think they're both dancing this routine well. And they're good pillow smashers. This style suits them because they're both good at personality-driven performances.
• The judging: Oh no, Phillip ripped his pants! And Nigel pointed it out. Poor Phillip. Jeanine's bangs are driving me nuts. Phillip: "I gave you more than you wanted this time." Mary: "I'm allergic to down feathers...but I wasn't allergic to that routine!!" Lol, that was ridiculous. Toni: "I thought it was adorable, but I don't think adorable is a great, great word..."

Is it just me or is the quality of the dancing during the ending theme song (while the credits are rolling) really poor this season as compared to others? Half these people aren't even dancing, and some people are just acting weird.

My favorite routines: Brandon and Jeanette's hip hop, Randi and Evan's contemporary, and I guess Melissa and Ade's rumba (by process of elimination)

In trouble: Karla and Jonathan (I forgot all about that routine by the time they showed the recap); Asuka and Vitolio, and probably Caitlin and Jason (but maybe Kupono and Kayla).