Kyle XY: Shock Therapy

Kyle XY: "Electric Kiss"

Highlights:

• Lori: "Jessi: 24/7. It's in the house!"
• Whoa, Kyle totally looked at naked Jessi before he left!
• Jessi: "Is she going to do it? You know, open the store and be generous with the merchandise. That's what you said on the phone last night."
• Don't Amanda and her mom wonder how Jessi and Kyle knew to show up the second after she fainted?
• Kyle's pulled up basketball socks make me giggle. His socks and sneakers are so white!
• Well, Declan sure knows Lori.
• Kyle and a dog! Cute overload!
• Stupid Latnok/Cassidy: "I just kidnapped you and your girlfriend (and planted something in the back of her head), but can we start over?"
• Geez, Josh is just so skeezy! Watching porn in the living room?! At least watch it on your computer in your bedroom or something. Eeew.
• Kyle can come give me a neck massage too.
• Kyle: "Why is there a pain in her neck?" Um, because of Jessi? Ha.
• Um, no, Lori, there are definitely games going on here. You have no idea the games that are going on here.
• Josh: "What do I get out of this deal?"
  Kyle: "Knowing that you helped Amanda."
  Jessi: "Yeah, that's no reward for me either."
• Josh's fake hissy fit over the piano music was hilarious. "Mother!" I like Josh so much better when he's doing anything other than talking about having sex with Andie.
• It's amazing that Amanda can still play while she's gawking at Kyle and Jessi.
• I kind of love it when Amanda gets angry. It's a welcome change from her incessant sweetness.
• Kyle looks all kinds of sexy in his brown jacket/black t-shirt/jeans outfit. The pissed off attitude also definitely adds to the effect.
• Well, it's nice to know that Latnok didn't intentionally plant something permanently destructive into Amanda's head. Or so they say, anyhow.
• Jessi: "Long, healthy hair helps signal a prospective male to your reproductive potential."
• Wait, so this Mark/Lori thing wasn't a Latnok plot all along? I had figured it was an Irina Derevko situation.
• Jessi: "That's Amanda's head? It's empty."
• Jessi is sooooooooo much better when she's being snarky and saying funny things than when she's being all I'm-a-wounded-bird.
• Passing the electricity through a kiss. Oh these kids and their crazy ideas...
• Holy crap! Kyle waaaaaay over estimated the correct voltage there! Not that anyone minds seeing Jessi get thrown across the room...
• Look, I realize that kissing Kyle is probably a very distracting experience and that Amanda can be pretty dense sometimes, but do they really think she's not going to notice that he's sending electrically currents through her head? That is definitely something you would notice.
• Um, good luck, Kyle. I know you're cute, but how are you going to get her to kiss you? She's pretty mad, and you were just kissing her arch-rival.
• Andie's moms extended their vacation for another three weeks?! That's lux. (Though I can't say I'm too disappointed that I won't be seeing Andie and Josh for a while.)
• I guess we're going for a sneak attack here. Doesn't Amanda wonder why Kyle just fell from the sky?
• If Kyle's soooo sorry for kissing Amanda, shouldn't he have some sort of explanation for doing it? I feel like she should be asking him to explain.
• She saw the electric sparks in his hands, right? Please tell me she at least saw that.
• Well, that was depressing. At least Amanda's going to get some scholarship money, I guess.
• Oh no! Next week Kyle gets drunk?! Considering how he acts normally, this is going to be a disaster! (And probably awesomely hilarious.)

Kyle XY: The White Rabbit Swims

Kyle XY: "Psychic Friend"

Bullets:

• Eew, post-sex Josh is disgusting. (Although not much more disgusting than pre-sex Josh, I guess.)
• Why is Kyle meeting Amanda at a street fair?
• Amanda: "It's the world's longest spiked punch hangover." Wow, Amanda, you are very gullible. But we knew that already, I guess.
• At least Josh can lie because we know Kyle can't.
• Ha! It was funny when Kyle lost Amanda and started freaking and Amanda said, "What?!"
• Wow, Amanda does not take bad news well. At all.
• Who thinks that Kyle going to see a psychic by himself is a good idea?
• This psychic lady is right on target.
• Oh dear, don't tell me that Jessi is Kyle's soulmate. As in, Jessi's going to need saving. I'll gag.
• "The white rabbit will swim." Thanks, that clears it up.
• Amanda: "Do you think I'm too innocent?" Um, yeah.
• Kyle: "I want to talk to you!" Tone it down a little there, fella. You're coming on a little strong.
• Declan: "Do I need to give you a lecture on the perils of stalking?"
• So now even Declan knows Amanda was kidnapped? So everyone but Amanda knows Amanda was kidnapped (with the one exception of Andie). That's great.
• Even innocent Amanda's not falling for the "Tonight when the white rabbit swims, my soulmate's in danger" thing.
• Geez, Steven's in a bad mood. For being such a loosey-goosey parent all of the time, he sure flies into a fury awful quick.
• Hilary: "Is she your new best friend? Because if memory serves she made out with Declan too and then bitch-slapped you." Ha.
• Oh, busted. Lori's best spying efforts are wasted.
• Dude, the Latnok guy is never far away.
• The band is playing on a boat?!
• Dude, Andie, if you don't want people looking at you like a teenage girl who is having sex too early, maybe you shouldn't be a teenage girl who having sex too early. Whatever, don't blame Josh.
• Well, Kyle, it looks like it's time to jump in the lake and swim out to the boat...
• Oh, Jessi, thank goodness. (First time I've ever said that phrase?)
• Nice dive, Kyle! Very lovely.
• Hmm, shocker, it's Jessi who was in trouble. I called that (see above). But why couldn't Jessi swim herself out? Sometimes she's Hercules and sometimes she's really pathetic.
• Is Amanda going to put it together that the psychic said Kyle's soulmate is in trouble and Jessi ended up being the one in trouble?
• Kyle's healing powers are awesome.
• Jessi: "No one can stay mad at you."
• We don't have to listen to Josh tell his dad more about his sexual exploits, do we? Because I don't want to hear anymore.
• Ahh, Amanda did put it together! She's not as dumb as she acts.
• Umm, so how much of what happened was what Latnok planned? Did Cassidy want Kyle to think that Jessi is his soulmate? How did he know that Jessi would be the one hit by the beam? How did he know she'd fall off the boat? Seems a little far fetched.
• Hahahaha. So next week, Kyle figures out that in order to get whatever Latnok injected into Amanda's brain out, he has to do some sort of electrical charge that apparently has to come through a kiss and he tries to practice on Jessi and Amanda walks in! That poor kid just cannot win. And poor Amanda too--this is even worse than the time she walked in on them showing each other their lack of belly buttons.
  

Gossip Girl: Yale Canto

Gossip Girl:
"You've Got Yale"

There was literally zero Chuck/Blair interaction, but this episode was still fantastic. There were a variety of factors that made this episode enjoyable, namely: Harold showed up(!), Serena and Blair both wore outfits composed of so much plaid it should be illegal, someone finally told Lily off for treating her children and the memory of her dead husband like crap, Blair fired off more zingers than it was possible to copy down, Vanessa got coughed on, the smarmy uncle was sent packing, and Chuck turned out to be a knight in shining armor.

Like I said, Blair was firing on all cylinders all episode long, so it's no surprise that she had the Quote of the Episode, but--in the style of the Beijing Olympic uneven bars event finals judges--I couldn't pick just one:

Blair: "I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory!"

and

Blair: "Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies and 14-year-old gymnasts!"

I love that Gossip Girl tossed in the 14-year-old gymnast reference. Not only did they have Nastia Liukin on the show, but now it's like they've got her back and are taking up her cause. Very cool.

Quotes, highlights and observations:

• Ha--Harold, Darota, and Roman all dressed up in Yale attire.
• They bought Blair her own Handsome Dan!
• Blair: "I don't know about the name though. We'll just call him Handsome."
• Blair: "He's as dead to me as his dad is to him."
• Look on the bright side, Serena and Dan; going away to Yale will give you the opportunity to get the hell away from your crazy-ass parents.
• Eric: "I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Remember that."
• If Chuck's still "the face" of the company, then why wouldn't he be sitting in Bart's seats at the opera?
• Since when is Serena's family in the hotel business? Oh, because Bart was in the hotel business? Do they still count Bart as part of their family?
• Does Yale really send out acceptances via e-mail now?
• Oh, poor B. Wait-listed? After all she did for that annoying chick?
• So, now, is Blair really so a better fit that Rory for Yale? I mean, at least Rory got in.
• Eew, why would Chuck want to move into Lily's house if he has to listen to her and Rufus having sex all the time? Yuck. (Actually, now that I think about it, Chuck might be the one person who would enjoy that...)
• So, only one person from Constance can go to Yale at a time? That seems like Yale is really limiting their talent pull. Why not take two awesome candidates just because they're from the same school?
• Blair: "Witch hunts are my Valium. I'm just trying to stay calm."
• Blair: "Now he'll just be lumped in with all the other Financial Aid-iates and poets."
• Eew, why would the board want Lily to have been left in control of the company? Do they know her? That sounds like a seriously bad idea.
• Even if he's all coked up, Jack at least knows that Lily would be a bad company leader.
• Blair didn't apply anywhere else?! Are you kidding me?! Fancy-butt school Constance doesn't make its students apply to more than one school?! Oy vey!
• Lily: "And you got him on Megan's List?"
  Chuck: "If only his apartment were a little closer to a playground."
• #26 on Chuck's list of how to take down Jack is "Crash Jack in plane." (How very Dirty Sexy Money.)
  
• Chuck calls Rufus Lily's "half-price hustler."
• Chuck: "You say you want to be family, but if you meant it, you wouldn't parade your mistress in public."
• Tell her, Charles!!! It's scary when Chuck Bass is so right about something!
• Blair: "Cancel the Nelly Yuki Project now!"
• Oh, come on, what were Nate and Vanessa really laughing so heartily about? I don't believe for a second that either one of them said something that funny.
• Eric talking about the opera (in German) is adorable. Eric is hysterical. He should only have funny lines and not have to try to sell sappy tales like "I just lost my step-father, I don't want to lose my brother too."
• Izzy and Penelope playing the angel and devil on Blair's shoulders was awesome.
• Serena's dress is gorgeous. (Of course I don't need to see that much of her boobs, but it is Serena, so I'm used to it.)
• Dan: "It went from Family Ties to Faulkner in one cocktail."
• Jack: "Who's your lucky escort? Someone you picked up at the funeral?"
• Rufus: "Ahh, kids, God love them. They do things like misread the opera calendar."
• Hey, I've seen an opera from as far back as Nate and Vanessa are sitting, and it's not that bad. Although the lady coughing all over them is not cool at all. But, I gotta say, I kind of love watching Vanessa get coughed on.
• Apparently the van der Woodsens need to get better soundproofing in their penthouse.
• Dan: "Oh, God, where are the boxes with the lids?"
• Harold: "Blair, turn off your phone. Remember the Kevin Kline incident?"
• Blair's dress is lovely too.
• Bye bye, smarmy uncle.
• It is so much colder in New York than any of these people are dressed for. I mean, look at what the actors have to wear between takes.
• Thank goodness Chuck knows how to take action! Rufus just stands around like a nincompoop. Chuck is such a knight in shining armor. (Swoon. I just love that kid.)
• Chuck's big busting-in-and-punching-out-the-bad-guy thing was rather reminiscent of a Logan Echolls or a Ryan Atwood.
  
• Sweet handshake between Rufus and Chuck.
• Wow, Blair is wearing sooooooooooo much plaid! Plaid blouse, plaid skirt, plaid coat. Holy heck. And I thought the outfit Serena was wearing earlier in the episode was plaid-crazy (which is the sole reason I picked the photo of her to put with this entry).
• Serena (about going to Brown): "Oh, and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit." (That does sound like it's right up Serena's alley.)
• Who took a pic of Serena and Dan making out at cotillion? That's kind of creepy.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Damages: Everyone's Evil and Hiding Something

Damages: "Burn It, Shred It, I Don't Care"

The play-by-play:

• Hmm, Ellen's still monologuing...
• Patty is hanging on by a thread. Geez. It's not like she's never seen a dead person before. Ray shot himself in her freaking office.
• Hmm, so now we're looking for a short Aryan guy with blond, stringy hair.
• At least Patty took charge and got poor Daniel some juice.
• Oh, boo, the FBI's trying to bring down Tom (Jimmy Cooper)! Leave Tom alone!
• It's almost like Patty knows what's going on (with Ellen and the FBI). She didn't cop to anything when Ellen was wearing the wire either.
• Why's Daniel protecting these people now? They just killed his wife. I guess he still needs to protect his daughter.
• Ellen is wearing some serious heels for working in the middle of the night.
• Oh, Ellen, don't offer to "help in any way" you can. Patty will hold you to that, and you aren't going to like it.
• Oh, Ellen, don't sass the FBI.
• Ellen: "Tom's a big boy. He wants to break the law, then he can pay the price."
• Frobisher is out of the hospital.
• Yeah, no, David would not want Ellen to get revenge.
• Dude, Wes (the therapy group guy) is so not helpful. He's definitely egging her on; and he must have an ulterior motive for doing that.
• Wow, Michael looks like he's been hitting the flat iron kind of hard.
• So, is this woman just acting? She's an FBI plant, right? So she's trying to entrap Tom? So that he'll have to cut a deal and turn on Patty? Ok, I understand.
• Wow, Tom, you just caved right in there, didn't you? I guess he hasn't shaken his Jimmy Cooper law-breaking tendencies.
• Hmm, I wonder what this compound does? You know what would be awesome? If it tied into Frobisher.
• Dude, the guy from the EPA is in the pocket of the energy industry guy (Wayne). Oops.
• Wow, that's quite the hairdo Ellen's rocking today. For a second when Tom and Patty called her into the room, I thought they wanted to see her for a hair intervention!
• Whoa, that sonogram thing was bizarre. I had no idea what was going on. If I were Ellen, it would have taken me a few more days to figure that one out. It would have taken a long time for me to realize that the sonogram "belonged" to the one guy in the room.
• Now Wes is using reverse psychology because he knows Ellen doesn't really want to kill Frobisher. He's telling her not to go after him so she'll go after him.
• Hmm, Wes has a nice little stalker wall there right next to the heavy artillery. Creepy!
• I'm concerned that there are too many people with secret agendas being introduced all at once. Last season we had a lot of people, but their evilness was displayed gradually. First, Frobisher was evil, then Patty, then someone else... Now it's like everyone's evil all at once.
• Tom got Ellen her gun (from a creepy abandoned building type place). Interesting.
• Oh, Patty bugs the office. Of course she does.
• Tom's really going to go through with the payoff! I thought he had some hidden scheme and a way to get out of it.
• I thought it was Ellen who called to warn Tom, but it was Patty who called it off.
• Ellen looks a little more professional today. She's wearing a dress shirt and her hair is not in a beehive. Oh, but she is wearing some weird pants... Perhaps she's dealing with her grief by doing a lot of (sometimes misguided) clothing shopping.
• Patty's a smarty--now she knows who commissioned the report.
• Hmm, Daniel's having some kind of relations with the energy company's lawyer lady. I'm not a shocked as I'm supposed to be. After all, when everyone is evil and hiding something, everyone is evil and hiding something.
• What I don't really get is why Daniel seems so hell bent on dragging Patty into this despite not really seeming to want her help. Especially since he's already involved with the other lawyer lady.

Kyle XY: Longest Prom Night Ever

Kyle XY: "It Happened One Night"

Hmm, I don't think this premiere episode (of season 2.5? 3?) was the best episode Kyle XY has ever offered up. I usually like the middle episodes of Kyle seasons better than the beginning ones and end ones, because the bookend eps are when the show's "mythology" can tend to overpower the comical moments and the sweet moments. But I'm definitely glad to have Kyle, etc. back again--it seems like they've been gone for quite a while.

Speaking of something taking a while, how long was that prom night? It took so long that it looked like everyone aged about a year between the dance and the after-party! Ha.

The best part of the whole episode was this little nugget for us Loryle shippers:

Lori: "I think I already like someone else."
Nicole: "Who?"
Lori (sees Kyle levitating outside): "Kyle!"

Thoughts/highlights:

• Yeah, thanks, I needed the longest "previously on Kyle XY" recap ever.
• Lori called Kyle and Amanda the "dimple twins."
• Umm, obviously Kyle has a better chance of excitement than Josh. He's about a thousand times hotter than Josh.
• Hmm, I'd forgotten that Kyle can move things with his mind now.
• Should the new guy (Cassidy) be flirting with teenagers? He looks a little old for that.
• What kind of a post-prom party is this? This cannot be school sanctioned. It looks like an orgy.
• I like how Kyle took the time to put his tux jacket back on before making his escape from the lab. How very James Bond of him.
• Drunk Declan is kind of funny.
• Kyle's putting all of his tricks to good use tonight! It's amazing how high he can levitate over such a tiny bit of water.
• Maybe Lori should take off some of her makeup before she goes to bed. Sleeping in all that gunk will not be good for her pours.
• Declan: "Damn this shampoo; it's mocking me!"
• Amanda's mom is going to be sloshed by the time Kyle finally finds Amanda.
• Oh, right, a radio tracking map, of course. That's definitely what I was thinking too.
• I hear The Virgins' "Rich Girls." How very Gossip Girl circa 2007.
• Hillary: "He's drunk, and I got wet."
  Lori: "No, no, stop there."
• I liked Jessi rolling her eyes when Kyle talked about hearing Amanda's heartbeat.
• It helps that there always seems to be a hose nearby. Actually, that freezing and shattering the door thing was pretty cool.
• Oh, Kyle, now I guess we'll get to see how quickly you heal from gun shot wounds. Oh, bah, it was a rubber bullet.
• Hey, the guy from Jessi's apartment (Cassidy) is part of Latnok. Hmm. (And, wow, is it just me or does that guy have a fairly strong Heath Ledger quality to him?)
• "We're not the enemy, Kyle." Well, you certainly act like you are the enemy.
• Eew, I definitely don't want to see Josh and Andie getting busy. Yuck.
• He he, I knew Lori's D.J. crush guy was involved. It was way too suspicious when they were showing him in the car but not who was in the passenger seat.
• Um, Amanda, if you fell asleep at the after-party, wouldn't you maybe remember something about being at the after-party? Oh, she drank spiked punch? I forgot about that (during the year-long hiatus). That must have been some seriously strong punch.
  
• Amanda has seriously low expectations. She was drugged and can't remember anything about the prom, yet it was "even better" than she thought it would be. I'm seriously concerned about what she thought it would be like.
  
• Whoa, Kyle planted a hot kiss on Amanda there (for them, anyway).
• Uh oh, Jessi on her own is going to be trouble.
• Oh, holy heck, Amanda has a puncture wound on the back of her neck! What's that all about?

Gossip Girl: Secret Kids and Smarmy Uncles

Gossip Girl: "Gone with the Will"

Remember on Gilmore Girls (the other great "GG") when Sookie wanted to know if her baby was a boy or a girl, but Jackson wanted it to be a surprise? He made a button that said, "I do not want to know the sex of my baby," and wore it around. Well, I feel like making and wearing a button that says, "I do not want to know what happened between Blair and Chuck's uncle on New Years Eve." Because I don't want to know. At all.

Especially since Jack Bass has quite the Georgina Sparks-esque trouble streak to him. However, I felt like Chuck rather willingly fell for Jack's fairly elementary scheme. I mean, come on. I think I could have come up with get-him-drunk-with-naked-girls-
and-then-bring-in-the-board-members. Chuck Bass should know better.

And Chuck Bass should also know to put up more of a fight when Blair finally gives up on him. I know she's saying she doesn't want to deal with you anymore, but, come on, Bass. She clearly loves you to have put up with this much. Say your sorry a few more times, explain the situation, don't let her give up on you now, at least don't get back into the darn elevator, do something! I think you could win her back fairly easily if you would just display the slightest of efforts.

Don't even get me started on this Rufus and Lily nonsense. Every second they were on my screen, I just wanted them to shut the hell up and go away. I mean, sure, yeah, let's spend day after day in Boston searching for the son we gave up years ago, while our four other children are left alone to fend for themselves in New York City! Ugh. Awful. Someone needs to call Child Protective Services on them.

Highlights and my observations:

• Was Chuck wearing Union Jack cuff links?
• Dude, how unclassy is it to hit on your nephew's girlfriend? (No matter what happened on New Year's.)
• Nate! He lives! And he's being supportive! What? Huh? (And here I thought that boy could only get screen time when he's shagging a duchess...)
• Geez, Lily can't even bother to attend the reading of her husband's will. She's just a real treat, that one.
• Chuck: "Curfew?"
  Jack: "None."
  Chuck: "Girl's sleeping over."
  Jack: "Yes, please."
  Chuck: "I'll allow it."
• Chuck: "If I don't read it, do I still get my inheritance? Then I'll pass."
• Chuck (speculating on what's in Bart's letter to him): "Why do you wear so much purple?"
• Well, I guess we now know that the smarminess doesn't fall far from the Bass tree:
  Chuck: "I owe you a lot. You saved my life when I didn't want to be saved."
  Jack: "You noticed that Thai waitress I was going to take home the other night had a penis, so consider us even."
• Wow, can Chuck finish high school and run Bass Industries at the same time? He's going to be a very, very busy boy. How will he find time for all of his carousing and shenanigans?
• Yeah, Rufus, do try to think of someone other than yourself.
• Blair: "Not that anyone else would want Dan Humphrey."
• Ok, this gummy anniversary is by far and away the best aspect of this Vanessa/Nate coupling yet.
• Vanessa: "I can't believe your telling me this now in a candy store!"
• It's the little Serena and Blair girls! Yea, they're fun.
• Little Blair girl: "Dating Nate Archibald after striking out with Dan Humphrey? Talk about failing upwards!"
• Jack: "The last time I had a friend like that, I ended up with gonorrhea."
• Um, send a little more of an explicit text, why don't you, V? Go ahead and spell it all out for the mean girls...
• Wow, Blair, that is not a dress you wear to a "friendly" dinner. In fact, that was downright Serena goes to Yale attire!
• Yeah, I wouldn't want Rufus and Lily contacting my kid either.
• Why was Jenny invited to this brunch? Oh, Eric.
• Dan: "Here's my question, and it's been bothering me for awhile: can you reserve eclairs?"
• Dan: "What now, people? It's not like I brought a tuna sandwich."
• Why exactly did the Stairs Girls feel the need spill this gossip? Too juicy not to tell? Don't they feel a little bad about hurting Serena? I think they're just causing trouble for the sake of causing trouble at this point.
• So, Jenny didn't know about the mystery kid either? I'd forgotten about that. I just assume Jenny knows everything Dan knows.
• Wow, Jack throws one little brunch, and he gets everything that he wants. Easy-peezy.
• Oh, suck it, Rufus. Just freaking go home and shut the hell up.
• Eew eew eew. This Lily/Rufus stuff has got to stop. It's seriously grossing me out.
• Bart put a morality clause into Chuck running the company and no one told Chuck about it until after he broke it and they ousted him? That sounds illegal.
• Serena: "Now I share a sibling with my boyfriend? That's a little more hillbilly than I can handle."
• Dan: "This whole thing actually made me nostalgic for the days when Jenny was the problem."
• Nice bromance moment between Dan and Nate.
• Aww, the poor secret kid is dead. That's a shame. Wait, I'm not buying this one bit: is the kid really dead? Or will he pop up eventually wanting money or something?
• Dan searching for literary precedent and suggesting Flannery O'Connor. That's probably a good guess. I remember her talking about Bible salesmen and girls with one leg and a guy who dressed up like a gorilla...I'm blanking on quasi-sibling lovers though.
• Called it! The Rufus/Lily spawn isn't dead.
• Really? Are none of these teenagers angry at their parents after this behavior? Come on! Teenagers get raving mad at their parents everyday for so much less than this! Somebody needs to pull out a tantrum, darn it!
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Opening Credits Death Match

Mad Men vs. Damages:

Mad Men's opening title sequence is so good it's art, but there's something undeniably awesome about Damages' montage too.

Mad Men:


Damages:

(This is from the first season; I couldn't find the new one, but I think it's basically the same but with different names.)

Damages: Just for a Thrill

Damages is back! Damages is back! Damages is back!
It's about 9:40 p.m. EST, so the show is not even on yet, but I'm so excited that I am starting my blog now just so I can talk about it. Damages!

There was a time when I never thought I'd see the day that this show would be back on the air. It's been, what, about 15 months now? And, frankly, I can't remember much about what happened in season 1. To be fair, I don't think we really knew what was going on at the time though, so I guess there's some consolation in that.

Here's what I can recall: Patty tried to kill Ellen...Ray was awesome but he killed himself...Jenny Garth's husband/Carlisle Cullen was hit by a car...there was this sketchy, bearded fellow who broke into Ellen's apartment and tampered with something...Frobisher was bleeding to death in a field...Patty's kid was creepy...Patty cried over a grave in a cemetery...Jimmy Cooper let Patty kick him around a lot and his name is not on the door of the law practice...Ellen's kindly old mentor guy turned out to be evil (I think)...Katie lived a life of narcotics and intercourse...

But I'm thinking there must have been more to the story...

Yea--now it's about 9:58 EST, and it's almost starting!!! My hopes for season 2: Katie comes back. Ellen kicks some serious ass.

Damages: "I Lied, Too"

The play-by-play:

• Oh no, are we going commercial-free again for the premiere? I should have gone to the bathroom before this started. I didn't learn my lesson from the pilot.
• Who did have David killed? Do we know for sure it was Frobisher, or is that just what Ellen thinks? I don't remember if we found that out or not. I think it had to do with the sketchy, bearded guy.
• This opening monologue by New Ellen is scaring the hell out of me...and I kinda love it.
• Do civil litigation lawyers really go on Regis and Kelly? Maybe if they win a $2 billion settlement.
• Sam Arseno. (I feel like I should write down the names of everyone who is mentioned to try to avoid confusion later.)
• Patty's hair looks flippin' awesome.
• Ahhh! Theme song, how I've missed you!
• How long has poor Frobisher been in this field? He better rally because Ted Danson can win that Emmy now that Zeljko Ivanek (Ray Fiske) isn't around to take it away (BTW, Zeljko taking winning that award was the highlight of the Emmys. It was very well deserved.)
• Ellen was in the cabin? Wearing a hunting vest? Ahh, it's ok, it's just as "revenge fantasy."
• Pete!
• That's kind of a tiny conference table these bigwigs are sitting around.
• Wow, Rose Byrne kind of sounds like January Jones. I thought I was listening to Betty Draper there for a second. Weird.
• Sam Arseno: "In the '80s, we all did shit like that."
• Wait, did Sam's story even pertain to this situation? Or did he just want to brag about once having a girl under his desk?
• Patty: "There are a lot of clowns under the big top."
• Daniel Purcell.
• Ooh, dark fingernails are acceptable for high powered lawyers.
• Yeah, this infant mortality/HMO thing has Patty written all over it. Nice work, FBI.
• Hmm, this guy at grief support counseling (Wes Krulik) is a real keeper, what with his head-kicking story. Ahh, it's ok, he's just describing a "revenge fantasy." I keep falling for those.
• Patty's creepy kid!
• Patty has a lot more guilt about this attempting-to-kill-Ellen thing than I would have expected.
• He he he, did Patty set Lily Arseno up for this drug bust? Of course she did.
• You know who would fit in with Patty? Blair Waldorf. They are cut from the same cloth.
• Is Patty's hair suddenly substantially longer? Was it just more flipped up before, or have we time jumped?
• Hmm, how does Patty know this Daniel fellow, and why is this situation so awkward? I'm guessing it has something to do with the girl in the grave. Maybe?
• Oh, Wes knows the exact date and the day of the week that his girlfriend's killer is going to get out of jail. Poor guy.
• Ray! Ahhhh! Hallucination Ray!!! Ray!!! "Hungry children ain't going to cut it." Ahaha. Holy crap, I love Ray Fiske. I hope the Damages people got Zeljko to more guest appearances. I want to see more of Hallucination Ray!
• He he, I knew "Mrs. Frobisher" was going to be Ellen. But is this just a "revenge fantasy"? Hmm, no, this one looks real.
  
• Yep, Arseno, your daughter was set up. What I can't believe is that you haven't figured out who set her up. Come on.
• This Arseno guy really is a delight. Everything he says turns into a metaphor involving genitalia...
• It's nice that mother and son Hughes are in cahoots now.
• The back of Ellen's cocktail dress is stunning.
• The girl in the grave was Patty's daughter (who was stillborn). Did we know that for sure, or was that just a guess?
• Ok, Patty, I thought we were telling the truth now. Guess not. The person in your apartment was not looking for you. We're not buying it. Does Patty know Ellen's working with the FBI?
• Oh dear, Daniel's wife is dead. I thought he was dropping the case; why'd they kill her now? It will just makes him come after them. (Like when Patty killed Katie's dog so she'd get involved in the Frobisher case.)
• Whoever Ellen's talking to in the flash forward (the present?) is being very silent. (Do they have tape over their mouth?)
• Ellen: "Well, it's ok. I lied, too." (bang, bang)
  

So, what is the name of the song that Ellen is listening to? Well, after a quick Google search of the lyrics, I can tell Ellen what she can't remember: the name of the song is "Just for a Thrill." Tell me that doesn't mean something. (Here are the full lyrics for your analyzing pleasure.)

What I loved most about this episode was that it was fun to see all of these characters again. It was like a reunion, seeing Tom (Jimmy Cooper), Frobisher, Ray, Pete, David, etc. I was even excited to see Patty's creepy kid. The last time all these people tangled turned into such a horrible mess that we can only imagine what they'll do to each other this time.

Well, all in all, I'm not as blown away and exhilarated as I was after the pilot episode and at other points during last season, but I'm definitely on board for this new chapter and intrigued to see how it all goes down. Team Ellen!

(photo: Damages/FX)

Privileged: Havana Night

Privileged:
"All About What Lies Beneath"

I figured I might as well blog about Privileged while I'm still watching it. I'm probably going to jump ship when Charlie disappears.

Thoughts and highlights:

• Privileged has a new theme song montage? The old one with the laptop and the feet did suck pretty hard, but I think the show has bigger issues to deal with.
• I am going to savor ever second of Michael Cassidy I get.
• Charlie's going to do marine biology!
• Megan: "I will help you get into all these schools except San Diego...although I have always wanted to go to the SeaWorld there."
  Charlie (pulling a SeaWorld brochure out of his jacket pocket): "What's this?"
  Megan: "Whales!"
• I think I'd like this show better if more of it involved Megan getting hit in the head.
• Um, drunk Megan acts just as silly as regular Megan.
• Why does Marco's boyfriend look so familiar? After a quick scan of his IMDB listing, I think it's because he played "Tobey" on Dawson's Creek. I don't totally remember, but I think Tobey was Jack's boyfriend. Didn't he get beat up? It's kind of coming back to me now...
• Mandy: "Megan is a genius. She's the best essay writer in the whole world."
• Am I the only one who doesn't think Luis is worth all this trouble?
• Whoa, that's their pool house? It sure puts Ryan Atwood's to shame!
• How come I've never seen Marco's bf before this episode, but now suddenly he's omnipresent?
• This Mandy/Charlie argument is insane. Mandy used to be so chill; how'd she flip the crazy switch so quickly?
• Ok, the synchronized swimmers are pretty cool! Wait, why'd they cut away from them so quickly? The swimmers were the first thing in the last 40 minutes that didn't bore me out of my mind.
• Um, Marco, that fight wasn't that bad. I think you could probably work it out.
• Lily's in jail! First marriage, now prison... That girl lives hard ;-) Good for her.
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Going Bass-Ackwards

Gossip Girl:
"In the Realm of the Basses"

When last we saw our beloved Upper East Siders, Bart was dead, Chuck was spiraling out of control, Blair told Chuck she loved him but could not stop the young Bass from continuing his downward spiral, Serena went to Argentina with greasy Aaron for her mom's benefit (?), Nate was useless, and Rufus and Lily had a love child (to which I said, "phooey on the love child!").

So now we've made it through the holiday season, and Gossip Girl has mercifully returned! Chuck is still a wreck, Serena and Dan are still trying to figure out just what in the heck is wrong with their parents, Blair is still trying (mostly futilely) to get Chuck to rally, Nate disappeared, Vanessa is (thankfully) still with her parents, and Jenny celebrates her return to Constance by waging an immediate battle with the Stairs Girls.

Highlights and thoughts:

• Why is Serena tangoing with that old guy?
• Yes, Jenny, go learn something!
• Where in the world is Chuck Bass? This looks like that really bad episode of Lost with the flashback of Jack in Thailand!
• Nelly Yuki!!!
• Wow, all the popular girls are wearing winter white coats!
• Chuck is not in good shape.
• I kind of wish we'd gotten to see Serena break up with Aaron. We were cheated out of that small satisfaction.
• Ugh, if Serena and Dan are already kissing, I guess it's going to be tough going for Chuck and Blair. Because surely everyone can't be happy all at once.
• Serena: "Did Jack find Chuck?"
  Blair: "Yeah, what's left of him. I'm surprised he made it through customs. His body odor could have given half of Manhattan a contact high."
• Blair: "I'm really happy for you. I'm going to go vomit now."
• Rufus: "Being a father's who I am." Really? Really?! Then why are you such a bad one?
• Nelly Yuki has hit hard times.
• Chuck: "Well, hello to you too, lover."
• Wow, suddenly Rufus is laying down the parental law (telling Dan that he and Serena shouldn't be in the loft unsupervised) and everyone is justifiably stunned!
• Jack: "You don't remember our rickshaw ride...the 15-hour flight?"
  Chuck: "That was you?"
• Ok, I know Chuck's seriously messed up and heading for a lot of trouble, but nevertheless he's totally cracking me up.
• This Desmond Harrington fellow who is playing Jack Bass does bear a certain resemblance to Bart.
• I like Blair's tights.
• Iz: "You're getting into the Colony Club? They never take anyone from high school!"
  Blair: "I know, I was so surprised. No, that's not entirely true."
• Why is Eric letting himself get dragged into the Jenny vs. the Mean Girls war?
• Chuck: "Now is that it, or are you going to tell me you love me again?" Ouch.
• Aww, poor Blair. She's cracking. And now she's fine. Nice recovery. Those Waldorfs sure are resilient.
• He he, Penelope is sleeping with her dad's junior partner.
• Ha! What in the hell is Blair wearing? I mean, it's awesome, but it's hilarious. At least the hat is.
• Wow, Serena, be a little more judgemental, why don't you? Blair has tried very hard to help Chuck; she doesn't really enjoy the guilt trip. Especially since no one else (esp. Lily, Serena, and Eric) seem to be making much of an effort.
  
• Dan: "He was in Boston visiting orphanages."
  Chuck: "How Dickensian."
• Yeah, sharing a sibling is a bit much; Chuck's right.
• Blair: "Public service: I frequently feed the ducks in Central Park."
• LOL about the society ladies saying that Serena dresses like a skank. I'm glad somebody noticed.
• Hazel got drunk and hooked up with her cousin! Twice!
• Uh oh, Ed Westwick finally gets an opportunity to sing!
• Blair: "No! You don't surprise someone standing at the edge of a building!"
• Blair: "So whatever you want to do to yourself, please don't do that to me."
• No, Dan, just tell Serena about the secret kid anyway. Screw what Rufus and Lily want.
• Why doesn't Chuck stay with Blair? She's the only one who can ever succeed at corralling him.
• Blair: "He can't know what happened on New Years." Oh no.

Well, I for one don't even want to know what happened between Blair and Uncle Jack at New Years. In the immortal words of Summer Roberts: eew, eew, eew! And I don't want Chuck to ever find out either, although based on next week's promo it looks like he's going to find out imminently. Nooooo.

Headband Monday was reinstated in honor of the new episode of GG. I wore my black one.

(photos: cwtv.com)
Speaking of the photos, when did Chuck talk to Dan and Serena at the party (as pictured in the top photo)? That totally didn't happen, did it?

Quick Round-Up: 01/05

My thoughts on some random television news:

• I'm fighting mad about the Privileged producers' decision to get rid of my beloved Michael Cassidy and their subsequent decision to hire Robert Buckley. If you were looking for a formula to make me livid, Privileged, you've stumbled onto one. Frankly, the reason I still watch the dumb show at all is about 90% Michael Cassidy, 8% Rose and Sage, and 2% James Franco's little brother. Writing off Charlie at all is unforgivable in my book, but then hiring Lipstick Jungle's shirtless wonder is just barfy. And plus, Robert Buckley is going to play an editor? How will they be able to write his not wearing a shirt into that plot line? Because I kinda work in publishing, and I've never seen anybody walking around the office without a shirt.
• Last night when I forgot to watch Superstars of Dance, I apparently saved myself two hours of boredom and frustration. I was bummed, however, to find out that I missed a performance by SYTYCD's Pasha and Anya, because I love Anya and I loooooooooove Pasha. Thankfully, their steamy hot performance has found it's way to YouTube: