SYTYCD: Now We're Talking!

So You Think You Can Dance: "Top 14 Performance Show"

The play-by-play:

• Is it just me or did Victor do literally nothing in his intro dance?
• Almost all of the girls are wearing hot pants. Except for Karen, who has on sort of a wrap dress. I guess she's trying to be a little more frumpy since we're not voting for her because we're intimidated by her sexuality, according to Nigel. Couldn't be because we just don't like her, huh?
• Cat is wearing a sparkly silver-ish Grecian strapless dress.
• No, we don't want to see a 9-year-old Nigel! Stop wasting my time! Just bring out the dancers!
• Adam makes a botox joke about Mary.
• Mary does look gorgeous tonight.
• Ha! Adam's child pic is pretty funny.
• I know Travis choreographed a routine for this episode, and I'm guesses it's for either Mollee and Nathan (redemption for last week) or Russell and Noelle (further proof of the awesomeness of Russell).

Ashleigh and Jakob (Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop): I was guessing that these two were headed for a hip hop. They will, at least, probably be better served with a NappyTabs hip hop routine than they would have been by a more hardcore Dave Scott, Shane Sparks, or Lil C number.

• The featurette: It is cool that we get to see videos of the dancer's favorite childhood performances. Jakob used to be a little "chunky." Awww! Jakob's doing the "Bye, Bye, Bye" dance in his archive footage! Haha!
• The dance: Wow, Jakob is good at this--not sure why I'm even remotely surprised by that. Ash is doing pretty well too--eons better than her husband did at hip hop last week. Half this dance looks like the same moves that were in "Bleeding Love" but without the briefcase. Nevertheless, I'd say it was one of the better NappyTabs routines in a while.
• The judging: Nigel knows so many people who have suffered due to the wrong people seeing their texts. Nigel has no doubt that Jakob's going to make it into the Top 10. Nigel thinks Ashleigh's style was really good tonight as well. Mary: "What a shocker...another bad relationship on So You Think You Can Dance." Adam thinks that Jakob is about as sure of a bet for the Top 10 as ever there was on SYTYCD.

Karen and Kevin (Spencer Liff Broadway): Eesh! These two were in the Bottom 3 couples last week, and this week they have to do Broadway? That's a bit harsh.

• The featurette: Ha at the video of little Kevin dancing. One of Kevin's most memorable dance performances was a Michael Jackson tribute number, during which he broke down and really thought he was Michael Jackson. Karen and Kevin had a much harder time with the routine than Spencer expected.
• The dance: Well, it's not the most dynamic or engaging routine, but I rather like both of them in this. Some of Kevin's facial expression choices are confusing me though. I definitely like Karen a lot better in this than I do when she's relying so heavily on being sexy.
• The judging: Nigel didn't like Karen's performance as much as usual because she didn't get to bring the sexiness to it (Nigel and I are on opposite pages). He thought Kevin's performance was worse. Mary thinks Kevin looked awkward in the in-between transitions. Adam points out that it's amazing that Kevin can even get through it, being a hip hopper. Adam enjoyed watching Karen dance without pulling out the tigress. So Adam agrees with me, and is thus back in my good graces.

Noelle and Russell (Eddie Simon fox trot): Are you kidding me? Russell has to do another fox trot?! That's what he did with Melanie in the first week! Boooooo! What's the boy have to do to get a Travis Wall contemporary routine? (So this means Mollee and Nathan get Travis' routine tonight, if my calculations are correct.) If they're going to make him do more ballroom, at least change up the style: samba, cha cha, jive, mambo, rumba, tango, paso doble, whatever.

• The featurette: Vintage video of Russell singing!! Awww! Aww, and there he is doing Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean"! So cute!
• The dance: Russell looks a little stiff maybe, but that might be what you're supposed to do in a fox trot for all I know. They did some really flashy turns there in the middle; very nice. The routine looked like it kind of ran out of steam in the middle-end part, but, overall, it was rather entertaining.
• The judging: Nigel says Russell's vastly improved at the fox trot over the past few weeks. Nigel says his "rise and fall" was really there and he commends his fouette pirouette, which I also loved. Mary says that Russell didn't look worried, and there's a lot to be worried about in a fox trot because it is so slow. Mary says Noelle's footwork and knees and feet were absolutely correct. Adam says the fox trot is the second most deadly dance aside from the quick step.

Channing and Victor (Tyce Diorio jazz): I thought we'd been getting away without much Tyce lately...

• The featurette: Victor: "I was a brat. I was the kid who would get lost in a department store." Victor's turns in the old routine don't look that bad to me. The routine is about two curious blackbirds coming out to play. Arg--Tyce is acting even Tyce-ier than usual.
• The dance: Wow, there's a big bird cage made of rope on the set. That thing is cool. Channing's looking good tonight. Parts of this routine are really cool; other parts aren't as exciting. Overall, I rather liked it, and thought they danced it quite nicely.
• The judging: In practice Channing pecked Victor in the head and he had to get 5 stitches above his eye! Nigel says this is the first routine where Channing looked like she was enjoying herself, and that made it a lot more interesting to watch. Nigel says Victor's always been at a high level, but he's kind of stagnant so he needs to push it a bit. Adam says the weirdness of this rendition of the song kept him out of the number a bit, but that it was well danced and well choreographed.

Kathryn and Legacy (Tony and Meredith paso doble):

• The featurette: Kathryn's mom owned a dance studio. Legacy was a rebellious child. Legacy's dad bribed him with $5 to do a '70s dance at a house party. In this dance, Legacy is an admiral in the navy who comes into port to see his Kathryn, his concubine, who is angry with him.
• The dance: Um, why isn't the navy admiral wearing a shirt? What kind of navy is this? Kathryn looks very good. Her flowy skirt is helping. I thought Legacy is handling this routine well too. Ooh, very nice! I quite liked that routine/performance! It was dramatic, but not quite as over-the-top dramatic as the paso Jeanine and Brandon did in last season's finale.
• The judging: What? Now we have to wait until after another commercial break to hear what the judges think? Nonsense! Nigel: "How many admirals do you know who are walking around like that?!" Adam: "If he's an admiral, I know a lot of people who want to join that navy!" Nigel says Kathryn certainly wasn't being juvenile in her dancing this week and says that she was "absolutely magnificent." Mary says Kathryn played that just right. Mary says some of the technical aspects weren't there for Legacy, but he nailed the character of the paso perfectly. Adam says Kathryn "killed it" and "just destroyed out there." Adam says that Legacy's stamina has grown a lot since Vegas. Adam: "You are no longer a break dancer; you're a dancer."

They interrupt the show to give us an update about the Dizzy Feet Foundation.

• Can you imagine how pumped SYTYCD is going to be when one of these Dizzy Feet kids makes the show?!
• Debbie Allen! I miss Debbie Allen. And Mia! I kinda miss Mia too!
• We meet the nine kids with Dizzy Feet scholarships and then see some other cute kids as well.
• Dude, I can't go to this Dizzy Feet gala! I don't live in L.A.! If it's really the "can't miss dance event of the year," televise it, darn you!

Ellenore and Ryan (Travis Wall contemporary): Ack, I was foiled! These two "pulled" the Travis routine. I guess the producers don't want Ryan in the Bottom 3 anymore because they'll have an increasingly hard time justifying keeping him around? (Ballroom solos typically don't play that well on elimination night.)

• The featurette: Ryan's grandparents were professional ballroom dancers. In his first dance performance, he was a bunny, ha! Look--Travis' helper is Season 3's Jaimie (of the Hummingbird Routine)!! Travis is flipping out during the practice.
• The dance: Aww, it's to "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by the Stars (which was featured on The O.C. back in the day). I'm hooked already; this song is great! Loved the routine (as followers of my Travis love would expect). I adored the "surprise meeting" aspect to it. Ellenore looked great. Ryan was good, but he looked a little ballroom-stiff (his extension was a bit lacking at times).
• The judging: Nigel says they benefited from a brilliant Travis Wall routine. Nigel says this routine was his favorite of the night. Nigel says Ryan was the best ballroom dancer who has ever done contemporary (on the show). Uh, I'm going to have to consider that claim. Mary says Travis just hasn't taken a wrong step in this season (which is good since I think he's only choreographed two routines so far). Mary and Nigel say that Ellenore can transform into any character she's given. Mary says Ryan has broken so many barriers for ballroom dancers in this competition. Adam says SYTYCD has "just kicked in right now." Adam says Ellenore was ridiculous.

Mollee and Nathan (Laurie Ann Gibson pop jazz): Is it just me, or do Nathan and Mollee always get to close the show or go near the end, while Karen and Kevin and Ashleigh and Jakob always have to go first or at least early?

• The featurette: I think we've already met the "kiddie versions" of Nathan and Mollee. Mollee was wearing a lot of makeup for a child--she looks awful child pageanty in the footage. Oh, Laurie Ann is going to eat these two for lunch!
• The dance: Lady Gaga. The routine/dancing is good, but I'm not totally blown away. That probably has more to do with how good so many of the other routines have been tonight and less to do with this one. I'm a little burnt out. The first 10 seconds of this routine when they jazz sprinted across the stage were easily the best part.
• The judging: Nigel commends their commitment to this dance. Uh, did Nigel just say that "only in dancing" are you "underpaid, underappreciated, and overworked"? Seriously, Nigel? I know there are a lot of people in a lot of other professions who would beg to differ. Nigel says Nathan needs to start to grow some more because other (less technically proficient) dancers are rising to his level. Mary said Mollee was "just perfection" and so was Nathan, but the performance didn't give her chills. In the future, Adam wants them to find more nuance to their chemistry, and that point makes a lot of sense to me. We like these guys, but we haven't really been given much reason to like them other than the fact that they're cute.

Overall, tonight's performances were muuuuuuuuuuuuch better than the ones we saw last week. There literally wasn't a routine tonight that I didn't at least like, and it's hard to pick just three favorites. I'll go with:

Kathryn and Legacy's paso doble
Ellenore and Ryan's contemporary
Channing and Victor's jazz

but I can't rank them amongst those three. And I also really liked Jakob and Ash's hip hop and Russell and Noelle's fox trot. Eesh! Who is going to be in the Bottom 3 this week? Looks like Kevin and Karen, but aside from them, I don't know. The judges don't seem to know which other couples are headed for the Bottom 3 either.

In any event, bravo to SYTYCD tonight! In my opinion, this was easily the best performance show of the season so far.

Gossip Girl: Ripping Off Saved By The Bell

Gossip Girl: "The Last Days of Disco Stick"

So, as I was watching Dan's hip hop treatment of Snow White, I was struck initially by how insanely horrible it was. Then I was struck by how oddly familiar it seemed. I realized that Gossip Girl's horrendous re-envisioning of the classic fairy tale with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes was extremely similar to a re-envisioning of Snow White done with hip hop beats and garish, brightly-colored costumes on Saved By The Bell. In 1992. What's more is that SBTB's Snow White was better written and better acted. (I'll admit that Elizabeth Berkley is no Kanye, but the "kiss me, mama" joke is at least funny. There was nothing funny about GG's version.)



Ok, so we've known for awhile now that Gossip Girl is not what it once was, but I didn't think it had come to plagiarizing Saved By The Bell. And, if the people in charge of GG had to plagiarize SBTB, why of all things would they decide to steal the Snow White hip hop remix?! They should have taken the plot line about when Jessi's dad brought them all to his hotel for his wedding and Jessi tried to sabotage it because she thought her future stepmom was too young. Or the time they all got locked in the mall with the thieves! Or, during Saved By The Bell: The College Years, when Zach faked an illness as part of a scheme to break up Kelly and her professor boyfriend and the clinic ran a whole lot of medical tests on him, which led to this exchange that still makes me laugh:

Kelly: "You've been through a lot today."
Zach: "And a lot's been through me!"

Ahh, Zach and Kelly...

Anyway, If Dan makes it in to Tisch's playwriting program thanks to his rip off of a Saved By The Bell episode from the early '90s, Tisch should seriously consider suing Gossip Girl for libel or slander or defamation of character or something.

Here's a list of my other thoughts (which, let's face it, is really just a list of other things that annoyed me):

• Oh, God, don't make me watch Dan Humphrey's swagger walk. Gag.
• Blair looks dangerously close to wearing leggings as pants! What is going on?! Leggings are not pants!!!
• Poor Leighton has to stand around and wait for 15 minutes while Ed gets his lines out.
• Dan is a COMPLETE idiot if he doesn't see how this threesome thing is going to blow up in his face.
• "Bitches of Eastwick"? That seems like kind of a low-blow in the week after Eastwick's cancellation.
• It seems like half everyone's life is taken up by trying to find Jenny a date to one function or another.
• Hey, Serena, when one is trying to not flirt with one's boss, it's best to not wear backless mini dresses to work.
• Serena hasn't felt like this about anyone since Jude Law in Alfie? She feels like this about Tripp? Not Dan? Not greasy-haired Aaron? Not Carter? Not that con artist guy whose name I forget? Not Nate? Tripp? Why?
• Drug deals happen via mini sailboats in Central Park? Really? That seems like so much extra work.
• Didn't Jenny learn her lesson last year when Rufus had her ass hauled off to jail? Guess not.
• It's true: Nate has been in love trials and did have an affair with a married person.
• What the hell does Nate's mom want with Tripp? Mrs. Archibald's been MIA for a very long time.
• Why would Olivia be Snow White instead of Blair? The whole point of Snow White is that she has pale skin and dark hair.
• So are we seriously trying this Nate/Serena thing again? The GG writers always try to start it up, but then it immediately stops.
• Why are the dwarfs all taller than Snow White?
• Please stop making us relive the threesome.
• How does Nate's mom know that Tripp's wife staged the fake drowning? And why would she feel the need to tell Tripp?
• Well, dummy, this is why you shouldn't invite your boyfriend's best friend join you in a threesome.
• Did Hilary Duff use to be a singer? Or at least a "singer"?
• Thank you, Chuck, for finally putting an end to this madness. Chuck must be so exhausted; all he does is go around fixing everyone else's childish messes. Now if only he could rush down to NYU and fix this mess of a Snow White production...
• This Snow White thing is horrendous. "Painful" is the word that comes to mind. There is no way people are laughing at this. Unless they're laughing at this...as in they're laughing at horrendous it is.
• Stop making us relive the threesome!
• No way this helped Dan's chances of making it into the playwrighting program.
• Wow, Nate looks moody at Tripp barging in on his one-on-one time with Serena.
• SERENA!!! He's still married!!!!! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
• Ha ha, "Poker Face" is about Cyrus. (Wait, why was Cyrus playing poker with a student-age Lady Gaga? Oh nevermind.)
• Too bad Cyrus didn't make an appearance in this episode. He would have helped.
• How does "take a walk" equate to "go make out in my office"? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid Serena.

Used to be, if I started watching a show, I'd watch it until the bitter end no matter what. These days, for whatever reason, I have a much quicker hook. I've already cut out Grey's Anatomy, Fringe, Heroes, FlashForward, etc. Gossip Girl is now officially on notice.

STYCYD: America Finally Gets A Vote

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 16 Performance Show

The play-by-play:

• Cat's got a snakeskin-esque knee-length black dress with long sleeves. She has paired the dress with smokey eyes and future hair.
• Ashleigh's pants during the intros are heinous.
• The Season 5 dancers are in attendance. Can't say I missed them all that much. They're in the midst of their tour.
• It's Jason! He's still such a cutie.
• Wow, I want to go to this Dizzy Feet party--Mary and Dmitry are going to do the samba!
• Also in attendance tonight is Dominic. I'm sorry, but his hair is just not looking good these days.

Karen and Kevin (Maria Torres hustle):

• The featurette: What?! Karen says she and her husband (whom she auditioned with but then got cut in Vegas) decided to get a divorce. So I guess we're lucky that they're not the married couple that made it into the Top 20; that could have been really awkward.
• The dance: The beginning seems more waltz-y than hustle-y. It picks up a bit in the middle. It looked a bit rough in places; other places looked good. Kevin did a nice jete. I feel like Kevin's always seems to have his back to the camera for some reason. The exit out of that final lift was not smooth at all.
• The judging: Nevertheless, Adam loved it. He says he just saw Kevin for the first time. He thinks it was "amazing" and "fantastic." Mary says Karen looked like a hustle queen out there. Lol at the replay of Kevin's face when they did the death drop; he looked absolutely terrified!

Ashleigh and Jakob (Mandy Moore jazz):

• The featurette: One of Jakob's best friends is Jeanine. Ha at the home video footage of them when Jakob had poofier hair but Jeanine looked exactly the same. Prop alert! This dance involves a cane.
• The dance: Ashleigh's wearing very similar pants to the ones Janette wore during Wade's criminals piece last season. They both wear them well, but those pants are terrible. Jacob is terrific. This was a very nice routine; it never quite got to epic level though.
• The judging: Adam points out that there was a cane mishap; Nigel didn't notice it. Lol, Jakob denies that any cane mishap occurred. Adam is astounded by Jakob's jumping ability and flexibility. Mary loves and adores both of them. Nigel says this routine comes up to the Table routine with Neil and Sabra, and Nigel kind of makes it sound like that routine was the only good routine Mandy ever choreographed.

Pauline and Peter (JT and Tomas quick step):

• The featurette: Peter volunteers to teach special needs people to dance. Wow, these two are getting hung out to dry tonight: they "drew" the quick step. At least there's a cute story to this one: Peter is a Navy serviceman and Pauline is a hula dancer.
• The dance: Not sure why a Navy serviceman and a hula dancer are doing the quick step, but whatever. These two absolutely look their parts, and they look adorable. The quick step itself was probably not great, but they gave it a heck of a try considering that it is completely alien to their styles.
• The judging: Adam really liked the performance. Mary says they pulled off the quick step due to their performance, but some of the leg actions and positions weren't quite right. Nigel points out some more technical flaws, but says he doesn't care because it was a fabulous performance. Nigel thinks this was the first time someone put a story put to a STYTCD quick step, and I'm skeptical about that claim, but too lazy to research it.

Kathryn and Legacy (Andy Blankenbuehler Broadway):

• The featurette: Kathryn recently went on a mission trip to Costa Rica. Legacy loves soccer. Score! A Broadway number not choreographed by Tyce!
• The dance: Kathryn is looking amazing in this. And Legacy's doing a good job of keeping up too! I liked this routine sooooo much better than the typical SYTYCD (Tyce) Broadway routine.
• The judging: Adam says he wasn't getting enough character out of Kathryn but that the dancing was adorable. Mary thought the routine was adorable, but that they lacked a little bit of choreography. Ok, the judges are harshing on Kathryn, but I thought she was fantastic. I don't get it. Nigel thinks she looked childish. Um, maybe that had something to do with the jean shorts/sneakers combo.

Channing and Victor (Stacey Tookey contemporary):

• The featurette: Lol, Channing makes lawnmower racing sound so exciting... Oh, look, it's another contemporary routine about a toxic relationship.
• The dance: Poor Channing had to do a lot of falling down/thrashing around the ground in this one. Victor got to do some too at the end. It was nice to see someone lift Channing without looking like he was about to lift a piano. Rather lovely all around, I'd say.
• The judging: The judges like this new partnership. They commend the quality of movement, without being deeply touched. Do you think Cat wakes up in the middle of the night yelling "1-888-83676-0_"?

Ellenore and Ryan (Lil C hip hop):

• The featurette: Ellenore has ancestors of 6 different nationalities. They are having some trouble finding Ryan's hip hop swagger.
• The dance: Why are there so many robbers on SYTYCD? Aside from toxic couples, robbers might be the most represented group of people. Uh, this doesn't really look good at all. Not sure if it's the dancing or the choreo or the heinous costumes. Ryan doesn't look like he knows what he's doing. He's also looking at Ellenore a lot, and I'm not sure if he's supposed to be doing that or if he's lost and needs help.
• The judging: Adam called Ellenore a "weird, funny girl." Uh, thanks? Adam says Ryan is "the most transformed dancer of the night"--well, sure, but not in a good way. Mary says Ellenore is too covered up; has she been possessed by Nigel? Mary points out that while Ryan may have done okay for a ballroomer, we're getting to the point in the competition where that's not going to be good enough. Finally, Nigel speaks the truth and says it was not good at all. Nigel: "You were just dancing, and you really can't do that in hip hop."

Mollee and Nathan (Gustavo Vargas salsa):

• The featurette: Something America doesn't know about Nathan is that he goes jet skiing...and perhaps there's a reason we don't know that; it's not particularly interesting. Ugh, I do not want to see "sexified Mollee" at all.
• The dance: This looks rough. You can tell Mollee's not a salsa dancer. She looks completely lost. I can't decide if Nathan's off too or if she's throwing him off.
• The judging: Adam says that routine exposed all of their weaknesses. How does Adam know that Mollee and Nathan are "fan favorites"? The fans have never gotten to vote yet! Mary says she could have gotten over the mishaps, but the feel and the style weren't there at all. Nigel says they didn't feel the music, missed connections and lost their chemistry. So much for all of Mollee's perkiness--she can barely manage to muster up the spirit to mug for the camera when they flash the phone number.

Noelle and Russell (Sean Cheesman Afro-jazz):

• The featurette: Russell is also an artist. In this dance, Russell is a frog and Noelle is an African princess.
• The dance: Can I get a "hell yeah!" on shirtless Russell? Russell is just too good. I don't know if Noelle's quite got the style--she looks a little stiffer than I would think you should be. The assisted flipping they did was really, really cool.
• The judging: Adam's on my nerves tonight. He's too focused on being cute and not focused enough on giving an actual critique. It's a problem when you're waiting to hear from Mary Murphy so you can get some substance. Mary says Russell is the king of Afro-jazz and says he's the first king on the Hot Tamale Train. Nigel takes another swipe at Russian folk dance! Aren't we over that by now? That's so summer of 2009.

My favorites:
Russell and Noelle Afro-jazz
Legacy and Kathryn Broadway
Victor and Channing contemporary

The judges single out Ryan and Ellenore and Mollee and Nathan as the couples in trouble. Geez! Even now that we're finally allowed to vote, the judges are still trying to boss us around!

I agree with the judges that Mollee and Nathan should be in the bottom three couples, but I suspect that the teeny boppers will save them so it's hard to predict who else will be dancing tomorrow night besides Ryan and Ellenore. Maybe Karen and Kevin and Channing and Victor, just because there was more fuss made about the other couples?