The Future Looks Grim

Heroes:
A pretty good episode tonight. Stuff happened...which is always a plus (Desperate Housewives, I'm looking at you). I gotta say though, the future does not look too good. Actually, it looks at awful lot like The Matrix. Especially when Peter put on the long black coat and Sylar started morphing bodies. One good thing about Heroes is that while they really confuse you, they then do kind of try to explain it in a fairly timely manner. Which is nice and unlike Lost which just does whatever it feels like and then maybe three years later will slip in some tiny explanation.

Random observations:

Greg Grunberg is not a badass. No one is buying it. He didn't pull it off on Alias and he's still not fooling us. He just too big and adorable. So stop making him punch Hiro. It's just silly.

How did Nikki get that ridiculously long, fake pony tail under her short stripper wig?

So Peter can explode and put himself completely back together, but cannot fix the huge scar across his face?

The death count

• (before Hiro and Ando showed up): Micah, D.L., Candace, Nathan, Ando
• (after Hiro and Ando showed up): Mr. Bennett, Claire, Future Hiro, the Haitian

...and we don't know what happened with the Peter/Sylar fire-hands battle in the hallway. Actually, I guess everyone who was not dead at the beginning of the ep probably was by the end. Except Nikki. Because she was living in denial. I think there's a lesson there.

How could present-Hiro and future-Hiro both be holding the same sword at the same time?

I loved the anecdote about the kid in the middle school who sucked all the oxygen out of the air. That, friends, is a pretty stupid superpower. I'm ranking it below being able to access the internet with your mind, but above melting kitchen appliances with your brain. I still feel bad for that kid from Gilmore Girls whose power allowed him to melt toasters--not only did Sylar kill him, but he had the Worst. Superpower. Ever.

Sweeps? Really?

OK, I was excited by the Thursday night sweeps offerings, but the Sunday night offerings? Not too impressive. At least not the ones I was watching.

Amazing Race:
My Ozzy and Danny are headed home :-( I'm bummed, but not super bummed because in the last few legs even those two normally fun-loving, positive guys had become a bit testy. I guess that's a benefit of teams like Charla and Myrna and Eric and Danielle--they've been annoying all along, so the stress of the race will never really make you like them any less than you already did in the first place. I guess now I'm rooting for the Beauty Queens...that is if I even remember to watch next week, which honestly might not happen.

OMG though, I can't believe Ozzy said, "Teletubbies go to war." So mean! But absolutely the highlight of the night. That and the final interview with Ozzy and Danny where Danny was talking about how someday Ozzy would be wheeling him into the old folks home.

Desperate Housewives:
OK, Marcia Cross, your two infant daughters cannot possible need you more right now than this show does.

Bree-less DH keeps getting more and more painful. Who is writing this stuff? Um, let's have the one old lady have her dead husband in the freezer!.....but she's just doing it to collect his pension....so it's really all ok.....the community will like her again.....but, uh, so why did we write this story line in the first place if it doesn't change anything?......well, it's just seemed like it was time for someone else on this same freaking street to have a dead person in their freezer/basement/backyard....

To recap the rest:
Lynette: ugh. Gaby: ugh. Edie: ugh. Mike: ugh.

Marcia, please hire a nanny and get your butt back to that set as soon as you possible can. If you don't hurry, there may not be anyone left watching when you do return.

Brothers and Sisters:
Also kind of painful this week. Not painfully bad like DH, but just kind of painful. I'm not really sure who to like with this whole Rebecca/Sarah's husband/Sarah stuff. I guess it's more realistic this way, having it be all messy and everyone sharing in some of the blame, than it would be to have Rebecca unequivocally be an evil temptress. So, congrats on that, I guess, but it's still not much fun to watch.

Poor Tommy wasn't even in this one (again). And where was my Sloane? I miss Ron Rifkin! Is it too much to ask for them to write a storyline where where Uncle Saul plots something evil? Or like seems to be running a terrorist cell within the U.S. disguised as a branch of the CIA? Or even chasing down the drawings of a prophetic 15th century scientist?

And Nora's teacher/boyfriend is seriously creepy. She can do soooo much better. She's Sally Field for crying out loud.

Sweeps!

Television Sweeps is my favorite holiday. What other holiday is so awesome that it happens four times a year? And last night marked the beginning of May Sweeps 2007 (although yesterday was definitely still in April...I don't get it). I do tend to enjoy February Sweeps better than May Sweeps though, because with the May episodes comes the dreaded realization that these episodes are the last ones before another long, starved summer. But Sweeps are Sweeps and I'm still crazy excited!

Ugly Betty:
I honestly didn't make it the whole way through the episode yet. I watched the first half, and then took one look at Jim's Dwight impersonation and had to switch channels. It didn't help that I'm completely sick of Betty, Daniel, Hilda, Amanda, Willie, Alexis...... What I did really enjoy from last night was the flashback to Betty's anti-prom. Betty's pre-braces teeth were hysterical! They were gigantic! I laughed every time she opened her mouth--it didn't matter what she was saying.

The Office:
Jim's Dwight impersonation was fantastic. "Question! Which bear is best? False! The black bear." Oh, Jim Halpert, marry me. Please.

The first half of the episode was hilarious, especially the scene with everyone in the conference room: Pam intentionally prolonging the discussion about Michael's abbreviated speaking taking up extra time; Michael calling Ryan "sweet cheeks"; Andy's Dick-Van-Dyke-it's-a-jolly-'oliday-with-Mary-esque British accent followed by Jim's "I'm definitely going alone."

My only complaint is that I need some more Jam...as soon as possible. It's been almost a year since the kiss at Casino Night; it's time to make something happen, Beasley.

Grey's Anatomy:
"You're my penis fish." Wow. Just wow. If that doesn't become the next big TV-inspired catch-phrase, I don't know what will. It certainly could compete with, "Save the cheerleader. Save the world," by way of originality and versatility.

I do have to admit though that I am getting a little sick of how almost everyone who walks into Seattle Grace has one of the most bizarre medical conditions known to mankind. Conjoined adult twins, a pregnant man, a lady turning to stone, etc., etc., and now a penis fish? The O.C. was definitely on to something when Seth visited Seattle Grace and Dr. Roberts was called away because someone who appeared to be gorged by a unicorn was just brought in :-) Sigh. I miss The O.C.

Anyway, I realize that these medical conditions do/could actually exist, but the chances of all these people walking into the same hospital in the same city? Not good. And I find Grey's penchant for the absurd all the more unfortunate because I think that some of the most memorable and well written and acted patient stories are the more normal ones. The lady from Roseanne who was dying and gave her daughter life instructions comes to mind.

My other complaint was that this Addison stuff seemed to come on a bit fast. She had quite the day, what with finally ridding herself of Steamy, hooking up with Alex, getting 'dumped' by Alex, and deciding that she needs out of Seattle. Yikes. Very productive. Meanwhile, Christina and Burke, Izzy and George, and Meredith and Derek are all doing basically the same act they've done for weeks. Speaking of Derek, he is on my last nerve. He needs to suck it up. Yes, Meredith didn't swim, but she's changed. That's what that whole third part of the three-parter was about! He better watch it or pretty soon he'll have a new nickname like McWhiny or McMopey.

30 Rock:
Congrats to Tina Fey, etc. on finishing up a very solid first season! Tonight's episode was good--not my favorite ever though. The highlights for me were:

• Kenneth purposefully falling down the stairs so the EMTs would give Tracey a ride
• Liz and Frank (I think that's his name) asking the blond girl to dance in front of the band for like 10 minutes and then Jenna running up, saying, "I hear you're looking for people to dance in front of the band!"
• Tracey listing "having to brush your own teeth" as one of the pitfalls of not being famous
• Floyd marching the squirrel past his webcam while talking to Liz

I also found some uncomfortable similarities between the scene where Liz and Jack were yelling at Kenneth and Alec's now-legendary phone call with his daughter.

I'm bummed that Liz and Floyd are packing it in, but I guess the show is best when Liz is a romantically pathetic workaholic. And it's hard for a girl to complete with 'the Cleve'... I'm excited to see what Tina, etc. will have in store for us next season. (Yea for a good, quality show getting renewed!)