Greek: Why We're Here

Greek:
"Cross Examined Life"

Most of the time I was watching tonight's Greek, I was thinking that the episode was just okay. There was nothing wrong with it really, but it was a bit of a downer, what with Calvin's crisis of indecision about his major, Rusty and Dale's squabble, Casey encountering friction from her law school classmates, Ashleigh returning after crash-and-burning at her job, etc.

And then Katherine showed up, and all was forgiven. When Casey turned around and saw Katherine in the back of the classroom, it was the highlight of my day. I'm not even kidding. Greek, I love you.

For more freaking out re: Katherine, scroll to the end of the...

Highlights and observations:

• Rusty and Dana started re-watching Lost to count the questions that were never answered.
• A murder mystery dinner party is the first think Dana thinks of when she wants to cheer someone up? That's kind of a strange first thought.
• Rebecca's hair looks pretty fantastic for it being her "middle of the night" hair.
• Casey's going to law school and she doesn't know what habeas corpus is?
• Ash: "Casey?"
  Casey: "Burgler?"
• Oh dear, Ashleigh got fired. Her hair looks nice too though.
• Ash has the option of moving home and working at her dad's accounting firm. I've been there...
• Lol at sleeping Beaver attacking Pledge Spidey for trying to throw away his beer cup.
• Cappie: "That's what Heath said. Ha ha."
• Casey: "No tests? Is this what happens before noon? I freaking love morning time."
• Casey and Evan's law professor is Mike Burton from Ed! Cool!
• Evan should have known that burden of proof thing. Come on, Chambers.
• Poor Casey. Since when does law school involve sitting around and swapping gossip? Mr. and Mrs. Karns, or whatever, are a bunch of Chatty Cathies...
• Dale calling the Tri Pis the "Pi Pi Pis"
• Dana: "You look like a teen movie villain."
• Gosh, Rusty is looking cute this year. He's almost becoming Franco-esque. He can definitely do better than Dana now...
• Now Ashleigh has special drink testing coasters! Greek is still mining Season 3 of Veronica Mars for material!! How endearing.
• Cappie: "Come on. 'Why are we here?' She's ordering us to get high."
• Rusty: "They're going to brand their letters onto your ass?!"
• Study group girl: "How well do you two know each other?"
  Evan: "We used to date."
  Mr. Karns: "Oh, Evan, did you used to work in Undergraduate Admissions?"
  
• Casey getting smacked down by the law students is kind of amusing, but Evan is being way meaner than he needs to be. Go apologize. Ok, good boy.
  
• Casey: "Oh, great! Now I'm Rusty in high school."
  
• Ash: "I said, 'Good day, sir!'"
  
• Ash might be purposeless, but she looks gorgeous this episode. I hereby nominate Amber Stevens for the role of Mary Jane Watson in my dream version of Spider-Man staring Donald Glover. (That was one Twitter rumor that really should have been true.)
  
• Oh my gosh! The Omega Chis are branding people in the living room?! That seems like loads of trouble. Oh, thank goodness, they are just pretending to brand people. I was wondering why no one ever mentioned that Evan and Calvin have letters stamped on their butts.
  
• Lol, so the question is: are stoned Cappie and Calvin half as funny as stoned Casey and Evan? So far, no. High Calvin is funny, but Cappie is acting about the same as Cappie always acts. Plus stoned Casey and Evan were pretty much the funniest people ever.
  
• Ok, I did get a major laugh out of Calvin gesturing at Cappie when he said "me" and then pausing and trying again.
  
• Calvin: "Ohh, no. You've got chips on your butt! (laughs)"
  

• Rusty: "So you can let Trip scar you for life?" (referring to the butt branding)

  Dale: "And this won't?!" (referring to the murder mystery dinner party)

  
  

• Dana's friend is cute. Why isn't Rusty with her instead of Dana?

  
  

• Calvin doesn't have a major?! Oh dear. Time's a-wasting, fella.

  
  

• Ha, Dale knew who the "killer" was without even playing the game. Go Dale.
  
  
• LOL at Ashleigh entertaining herself with shadow puppets.
  
  
• Ashleigh has become a bad influence on Casey...
  
  
• Why didn't Rusty at least take off his Sherlock hat before going out in public?
  
  
• Oh, poor Ash. She got overlooked for a promotion in favor of someone from The City, so she was upset and left on her thousandth coffee run and never came back. And now she's fired for real.
  
  
• Ha ha ha! Beaver drew a unicorn on Rusty's face! Beaver is so adorable.
  
  
• KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S KATHERINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  
• Katherine: "Can you not interrupt me when I'm waving to my friend? Thank you."
  
  
• OMG. IT. IS. KATHERINE. I'm freaking out.
  
  
• (And I promise to try to stop arguing that Casey, Katherine, and Evan should have gone somewhere else for grad school if for no other reason than to broaden their horizons a bit. I love Casey, Katherine, and Evan, and if this is what keeps them around, so be it.)
  
  
• I wonder why Katherine made a last-minute decision too. Did she miss CRU as well?
  
  
• Casey, Katherine, and Evan need to form a super (study) group!
  
  

And, holy crap, next week's episode is called "All About Beav"! First Katherine comes back and now we get a Beaver-centric episode?! GASP! Please tell me that these two seemingly unrelated occurrences are going to be connected. A Katherine and Beaver hookup!?! You're rocking my world, Greek!

(photos: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Geek Chic

Greek:

"Pride and Punish- ment"

Highlights and play-by-play:

• Wow, now Casey has to investigate her own crime. That's convenient.
• Evan's looking dreamy as usual in his argyle sweater.
• Can't believe Rusty's trying to impress this poor girl by bragging about his science grant.
• Ashleigh's in Rusty's class! I was right; we are starting Ashleigh/Rusty! Bring it on.
• Evan isn't happy that Casey (and Cappie) are "expecting [him] to be third wheel in [their] fantasy recreation of freshman year."
• Not sure I'm on board with Casey's cardigan. Looks like something I'd expect to see Ashleigh wear.
• Casey sounds a little hoarse.
• Evan and Cappie are making a mockery of Amphora.
• Ash (to Dale, when he's not trying to be funny): "Oh, I get it, you're being funny."
• A "nerd auction," Ash? That's not insulting at all...
• Beaver: "Casey, I'm ready for my bedtime story."
• Casey: "I'll be back in 15 minutes. 20 if Beaver's fussy."
• Oh, poor Katherine! Her barfing roommate is horrible.
• Does Katherine know? Is she guilting Casey into telling the truth by being so nice?
• Cappie using "My girlfriend's in labor at County General" as an excuse to cut in the drop/ad line.
• Ha at Rusty's new hair and glasses. It's not bad though; the look's kind of working for him.
• Dale: "Nice glasses, J.J. Have you figured out how Lost is going to end yet?"
• With this hair, Rusty's giving off a bit of a Franco vibe (as in James or Dave).
• Ha ha ha at Rusty's "geek chic" outfit.
• Ash: "Work that sweater vest."
• Hey, this girl was on Veronica Mars. Imagine someone from VM turning up on Greek... Anyway, mock-surprise aside, she was one of the angry sorority girls who stuck the Easter egg up Chip Diller's bleedin' bum, I believe.
• So that geek chic outfit really worked? I was on-board with the hair and glasses, but the outfit is a bit Howard Wolowitz.
• Can't believe Casey just told the Gamma Psi president about burning down the house. She should have at least gone to Katherine first.
• Wow, it's hard to believe that Rebecca was just on Bones playing a former call-girl, huh?
• That's the professor teaching the class about sex?!? And people want to take this class?!? And Evan wears his pink bow tie around campus?!? Kind of an unbelievable minute we're having here.
• Serving drinks in the beakers and test tubes is cute.
• Fisher has some nerve! Why is he even taking his girlfriend to the geek auction? They must not have the event labeled well.
• Ha ha, Dale's auctioning himself off.
• Dale brought in $50! Good for him!
• Ha ha at Casey's reaction to the theater guy saying he'll be nude in "Hair."
• Holy crap! Natalie slept with this theater guy to get him to fix the competition! Yeeesh.
• Beaver: "I can't believe we missed the nerd auction! I've always wanted my own nerd!"
  Cappie: "There's always next year."
  Beaver: "That's easy for you to say; you have Rusty."
• Beaver: "When someone's a friend, you have to let them make their own mistakes. Like when you let me lick that battery. That was a mistake, but you let me make it. Three times."
• See, that Evan Chambers is an evil genius. His plan got Casey and the ZBZs out of trouble in no time.
• Cappie: "I was trying to give some to Rebecca...advice, that is. Give some advice to Rebecca."
• Dale: "And that retainer comes out, if you know what I mean."
• Uh, Dana has some rage issues. Yep, she is kind of off-putting when you first meet her; she's got that right. And, honestly, she's still kind of off-putting after you've known her for awhile.
• Oh, Rusty/Ashleigh is so on. So on.
• Katherine knew that Casey was bluffing with the score sheets (the real ones are still buried) but didn't call her on it.
• Katherine: "Lifetime would make several movie adaptations and they'd probably hire some manish starlet to play me because I'm tall."
• Aww, I hope Casey makes amends with Katherine. I don't want Katherine to feel so sad. Casey should at least get Katherine a room in the ZBZ house so she doesn't have to stay with that horrid, barfing girl.
• Oh no! Next week, Ashleigh is dating Beaver! Ahahaha! I'll jump right off the Rusty/Ashleigh bandwagon for Ashleigh/Beaver!

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Premiere Watch '09: Eastwick

Eastwick:

"Pilot"

It pains me to say that a show with both Paul Gross and Matt Dallas is not that great. Both of those gentlemen would land on my list of my favorite people on TV ever (if I took the time to compile such a list). My love of Matt Dallas has been documented over and over in my reviews of Kyle XY. My love of Paul Gross stems back to pre-blog times when he was on Due South, a show that is still in at least my top 10 shows ever and probably my top 5 or 6.

But Eastwick--at least this pilot episode--was no great gem. My sister hit the nail on the head about this one, saying, "The show is a hot mess but I'd watch Paul Gross in just about anything. :)"

All in all, though, I'm going to continue watching. I think there is some potential here, and the show might hit its stride in subsequent episodes. And even if it doesn't, there are worse things I could be doing for an hour on Wednesday nights than reminding myself of how much I like Paul Gross and how gorgeous Matt Dallas is.

My play-by-play:

• Ugh, it's starting with a voice over. A rather Desperate Housewives-esque voice over. (Ok, it did turn out to be a lady reading a book, which I guess makes it a little better.)
• It's Abby from Days of Our Lives!
• It's Kyle!!!!!!!
• It's Mindy O'Dell from Veronica Mars!!
• Sarah Rue and Lindsay Price! (Ok, I'm not quite as excited about those two, although I do like Lindsay going back to her 90210 days.)
• How many employees from this one newspaper did they send to this random street festival? That seems like a waste of resources. No wonder newspapers are going out of business...
• Uh, this making-a-wish-at-the-fountain thing is both cheesy and taking forever.
• The exposition of this show is painful. Paul Gross cannot show up soon enough.
• Joanna: "Oh, that's just puke."
• Joanna's got some really nice clothes for such a pathetic reporter.
• Fraser!!!!!!!!
• Darryl: "It's not really art though, is it? It's more like folk art or crafts. It's cute, but it's stunted."
• Oh, Kyle. You're so adorable.
• Wow, Kyle's 26-year-old now. That's like 8 years older than he was last spring.
• Wow, Joanna has really long hair. How does she get it all into that bun?
• Why'd that dude just brag about getting the last doughnut? That's not very classy...
• These ladies went from not liking each other to eating dinner together every night? That's a little strange.
• That's kind of a short dress for a mother of six (?) to be wearing.
• What the hell is she doing?! I know we're supposed to think Kat's husband is a loser moron, but he does bring up some good points. I don't blame the dude for being mad that he's taking care of his six kids while his wife is frolicking in the town fountain.
• Who says, "You've got no fire, no spark, no electricity!"? Only someone who has to cue a lighting strike in a contrived TV show.
• Aww, poor Kyle. Roxie doesn't want eat dinner with him? She must be a crazy person.
• If Raymond takes the kids, that leaves Kat free to hang out with her new BFFs every night.
• Joanna: "Cliff, it is not a tight squeeze in here."
• Aww, Kyle. So sweet--fixing cabinets, cooking roasts. And he's gorgeous.
• Did we need to tack on that dream about the new guy at the end of the episode? That was kind of abrupt. We probably had enough to chew on without throwing that into the pilot as well. Especially with the kicker about Darryl having a secret.

In regards to rating premiere episodes, two years ago I instated a rule that one favorite actor could only earn 5 points for a show. But, using those terms, Matt Dallas scored 5 points for Eastwick and Paul Gross scored 5 points. Plus maybe one for Abby from DOOL and 2 for Lindsay Price. So then Eastwick has a 13.0/10?! That's not going to work, so that rule has been officially thrown out.

Premiere Rating: 5.5/10

(Photo: abc.com)

Premiere Watch '09: Vampire Diaries

Vampire Diaries:
"Pilot"

The similarities of Vampire Diaries to Twilight are so ubiquitous that I'm largely going to ignore them and try to judge Vampire Diaries on its own merits. After this pilot episode, it's merits are kind of eh. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't all that engaging either. I've heard that VD (that's kind of an embarrassing acronym to have, right?) will expand its focus beyond the tortured love story between the good vampire and the nice girl and tell a larger story about the town. That idea sounds more intriguing to me, since a lot of us have done the tortured-love-story-between-the-good-vampire-and-the-nice-girl thing to death with Twilight at this point.

The VD pilot itself was on the hokey side. There were a few too many introspective voice overs disguised as journal entries for my taste. I mean, why make people act when they can just tell us exactly what they're supposed to be feeling, right? Also, the show absolutely telegraphed every time something "momentous" happened by bring the action to a screeching halt for a dramatic pause and a close up shot. The lead actors did all right with what they had to work with, but I wasn't blown away by them or any of the supporting characters.

I'll probably be giving this show some more time to better establish itself and then see how I feel about it. At this point, I feel like it could go either way: fun, guilty pleasure or total crap.

Highlights and my thoughts:

• No, lady, don't run away from the car! Get in it! You're not save at all running around in the open.
• Historically, this Paul Wesley guy always rubs me the wrong way. I'm not really sure why but I never like him in anything I see him in. I wonder if it's because he's the whack job from Long Beach who broke Holly's blender and then shot Luke on The O.C. or if it runs deeper than that?
• The aunt looks younger than the two high school kids.
• I'm getting a serious Cassidy Casablancas vibe from the brother (Jeremy).
• The show has been on for 3 minutes and I think they've already had four different soundtrack songs.
• I've seen this Vicki girl before. (She was in The O.C. and much better in Freaks and Geeks.) And her boyfriend is familiar as well. (He played on of Naomi's many boyfriends in the new 90210. The drag racer I think?)
• So on this show, vampires can hypnotize people with their eyes?
• Dreamy vampires seem to have a very specific hair style.
• I guess vampires on this show don't have to walk gracefully. This dude is absolutely lumbering down the hallway.
• Elena is wearing some serious hoop earrings.
• At least this vampire guy doesn't look like he's going to barf when gets close to the girl. That's helpful.
• Whoa, that fog is alarming.
• This Elena girl (Nina Dobrev) kind of reminds me a little bit of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
• This show sure is trying awfully hard to make journaling popular again.
• Elena is wearing quite a skimpy shirt.
• "You keep a journal!?!?!" Oh, gag.
• They're playing MGMT? Weren't they the makers of the "it" pilot songs last year?
• Now they're playing Placebo's "Running Up That Hill"!? That's from the freaking Season 4 premiere of The O.C.! And suddenly I have been taken completely out of Vampire Diaries and am instead thinking about Ryan cage fighting in Mexico after Marissa died. Must re-focus...
• Ok, there was an 1864 version of Elena? That's kind of interesting.
• Is history the only class these people attend?
• Wow, what is up this teacher's ass? It's what, the second day of school? There's no need to be this bitter already.
• Whoa, Bonnie, the friend really is psychic or extra-perceptive or something. That's kind of freaky.
• Gee, this Vicki chick is just a ray of sunshine. I can see why Jeremy is so hung up on her...
• The Jennifer's Body/Gossip Girl cross promotion is kind of awkward. I mean, Blair is nasty, but she doesn't go around killing people.
• Who is this Zach dude in Stefan's house who dishes out lectures?
• Dramatic pause, close up shot, and it's...Boone!
• Damon: "Remember, Stefan, it's important to stay away from fads!"
• I think Boone's cheeks are a little too rosy for a vampire.
• Elena is a dead ringer for Catherine.
• Things did not end well with Catherine.
• Boone has Cole Hamels hair. That's probably not a good thing.
• So Stefan can only survive in the sunlight if he's wearing the ring? I'm so not up on the Vampire Diaries mythology. But, then again, I don't care all that much.
• How come vampires never fall for blondes? (Except, I guess, for Angel and Buffy.)
• Do Vicki and Matt not have parents either?

Premiere Rating: 6.5/10

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: It's the End of the World as We Know It

Greek:

"At World's End"

I've really been delayed in getting around to watching the second season finale (I think that's what this episode technically was) of Greek, but I was really in the mood to watch something fun, and Greek definitely delivered with this episode.

Granted, I could frankly take or leave this Cappie/Casey stuff at this point, and I was sad to see Max in such despair when he finally saw the writing on the wall about that situation, but for the most part, this episode was fun, fun, fun. The best part was that it managed to work in almost all of the show's mostly awesome characters. (Evan and Beaver did get a little bit shafted, but they were there. I don't think Betsy was in it though, but she was mentioned.) And the episode had so much fantastic Dale/Calvin interaction, that it was impossible not to love it.

Highlights and observations:

• Dale's distaste at Rusty and Jordan's debate on "Jordy" vs. "Rustdan"
• Dale: "Can anybody tell me why this class is worth three units? Every first-grader in Wetumpka knows that the pig is whipping that guy because of lustfulness."
• Ash: "I feel kind of Betsy-ish having a drink at lunch anyway."
• Is it a bad sign that when Max came home early, he knew he'd find Casey in the bar during lunchtime?
• Aww, Max got Casey the lipstick she wanted from his advisor lady.
• Ash: "You know how P. Diddy has an all-white ball in the Hamptons? I was thinking that we could do a similar thing here and have an all-blue ball."
  Cappie: "I can't top that."
• Frannie: "Everyone knows you hate my house."

  Cappie: "I like the English Tudor style."
• Ashleigh might get expelled from the university over this homecoming float prank?! Sheesh.
• Max: "Good, because I just picked out the costumes for our Star Wars wedding.
• The Kappa Taus brainstorming is usually hilarious. (The highlight here being Ben Bennett's "No, girls!" and Cappie's "No girls!?"
• Jordan: "We talked about the end of the world in art history today."
  Cappie: "That's it!"

  Heath: "Art history, baby!"
• Dale and Calvin together are just too funny.
• Dale: "See, she's making me a sundae! She's putting the chocolate on two scoops of...breasts, breasts, breasts...."

  Calvin: "I think she's looking for the banana split, Dale."
• Calvin: "Why can't your purity pledge brothers help you out with this?

  Dale: "They took a trip to Fire Island together. Smart guys too; in this economy, they booked a single queen to save money. Speaking of single queens, what are you going to do about Grant?"
• Calvin: "We're in the same fraternity. Having sex with your brother is like--"

  Dale: "Having sex with your brother?"
• Aww, a Dale and Calvin purity pledge!
• At least Casey didn't get dirty when she fell down the manhole.
• Aww, I'd forgotten that I like Max/Rusty way more than I like Max/Casey.
• Max is looking kind of buff. He must be beefing up for Melrose Place version 2.0.
• WHAT?!?! Now there are marijuana plants in a sorority house?! Put another tally in the "Greek rips off Veronica Mars" column.
• Dale: "But, baby, won't we be late for Showgirls?"
• Rusty's advisor: "Why would you take a liberal arts class as an elective? Those classes seem easy because they're stupid! I tried to have that whole side of the campus razed, but apparently hippies need classrooms too."

  Rusty: "Stupid hippies. That tie-dyed guy in the quad is the one who recommended art history!"
• Why is Casey tripping and falling so much? Her equilibrium seems very off. Does she have an inner-ear imbalance or something?
• If Sheila's so interested in having sex, maybe she shouldn't date 19-year-old Christian boys who have taken purity pledges.
• Calvin: "Sheila, stop! Dale is my boyfriend!"
• Aww, Frannie threw herself under the bus a little bit to save Ash. That was a flash of niceness. Kind of. Maybe.
• Soooo, about Jordan, does anyone else miss Jen K.? Just kidding, that was mean. Jordan's not that bad.
• Ash: "You used to be this focused, driven person. When did you become this girl? Someone who sits around making lists and second-guessing your choices. Paging Dr. Grey! No, wait, you are more like Joey Potter. No, you're worse. You're the F word."

  Casey: "Don't say it!"

  Ash: "Felicity."

  Casey: "You bitch."
• Actually, Casey's kind of like Kate from Lost. Kate's the ultimate bouncer between love interests.
• Casey's eye makeup is kind of goth for making lists.
• Um, shouldn't Casey break up with Max before shoving Cappie into a closet and having her way with him? This is not very classy behavior.
• Cappie: "You'll remember that I'm a childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable, unambitious frat guy who let you down before, and that's why we didn't work."
• Well, good luck at Cal Tech, Max. Hopefully the girls there have some more class.
• Cappie: "To a new world, gentlemen! Good riddance to the things we hated and may we not miss the things we loved!"
• I take that back, Jordan is that annoying. I hereby reinstate the Jen K. comment.
• Dale: "But it's not the end of the world! Don't you read the scriptures I leave on your pillow? There's going to be signs!"
• Casey having too much alone time is kind of what got us into this mess in the first place.
• Grant: "I wanted to let you know that your boyfriend's cheating on you. With a woman."
• Wade (after catching Calvin's purity pledge ring): "My precious!"
• Aww, poor Max. Casey is not worth this.
• Casey opening the door and saying "Oh, what are you doing here?" while we can't see who she's talking to is another send up to Veronica Mars (the season one finale). It was pretty funny that it ended up being Frannie.
• This is not the end of the semester, right? Rusty said he still has time to fix his grade, but Frannie's saying goodbye to Casey now? Even if Frannie shuts down the sorority, if she still has to finish her classes, she's probably going to see Casey on campus sometime.
• Fisher! They're cramming everyone into this episode.

So, I'm thinking that Casey and Cappie are going to get together and be relatively happy for, oh, about 10 minutes, and then she will start to remember that he's childish, lazy, unreliable, unpredictable and unambitious. And then, hey, hasn't Evan been looking kind of good lately and acting kind of sweet? And, boom, we're off and running on Cappie/Casey/Evan triangle version 3.0. (Or is it 4.0 by now?) We only saw the original Casey-is-with-Cappie-but-starts-to-like-Evan saga play out in that one flashback episode though, so we could probably sit through it again, but it would be kind of nice if Greek surprises me and comes up with something new. And, by the way, Evan dating Rebecca does NOT count as "something new."

We won't have to wait long to see what Cappie's going to do next--new episodes of Greek return in August! What I'm most excited to see, however, is Kadeem Hardison a.k.a. Dwayne Wayne from A Different World guest starring as Ashleigh's dad. I seriously loved A Different World when I was little, so I'm all kinds of excited about this casting.

(photo: ABC Family via Jbabzy)

Greek: Friday Nights with Joan

Greek:
"Isn't It Bro-mantic?"

I freaking loved this episode. I enjoyed the Evan/Cappie interaction and the revelation that Rusty used to watch Joan of Arcadia so much that I didn't even mind that Dale was MIA because he was at a barn raising trying to convert Amish people (to what?).

Highlights (and there were a bunch):

• Calvin: "For dinner with Jordan or Desert Storm?"
• Calvin: "You've been together for like a week. I'm sure she already knows that you can't dress yourself."
• I found the conversation about Rusty's inability to dress himself to be funny since I was seriously distracted by how ugly one of his shirts in the last episode was.
• Rusty: "Is this still stylish?"
  Calvin: "Was it ever?"
• Rusty: "She just broke up with Andy, who dresses like a pop star, so I've got to step it up."
• Calvin needs to just move in with Dale and Rusty once of for all.
• Rusty: "Dale's at a barn raising this weekend, trying to convert some Amish people."
• Rusty is wearing Dale's shirt!
• Casey: "Since Max has been gone, I've gotten so much done: cleaning, organizing... I'm thinking of taking up an instrument."
• Betsy: "Really? Do they still have television on Friday nights?" (Yes, Betsy, they do. In fact, next season four shows that I watch will be on Friday nights.)
• Um, I'm not sure I'm loving Rusty's hair tonight. The part/slicked back thing looks strange.
• Calvin: "It's like watching an episode of Entourage, except cheaper...and actually watchable."
• Betsy: "I never said anything about you being drunk. She asked where you were and I said 'Asleep in the bushes.'"
• Casey and Betsy's table is ridiculously close to Rusty and Jordan's.
• Dean Bowman: "You are the most accomplished and promising students at CRU."
  Cappie: "Believe me, if I could shoot myself a quizzical look right now, I would."
• Now the secret society is making them all dish their most personal secrets? That's straight out of Veronica Mars too.
• Aww, poor Casey. She's not trying to be annoying; she's just lonely.
• I bet Calvin is glad he can go back to talking to Ashleigh instead of Rebecca.
• Calvin: "Everytime you out an Omega Chi to his house, a fairy looses its wings."
• Casey: "I could help you pick out some new shirts that are a little more...of the same! Because your shirts are so handsome."
• Evan: "Why do you feel the need to call me by my full name every time we talk?"
  Cappie: "I like it. Makes you sound like a comic book villain. ...So why don't you trust me, Evan Chambers?"
• Evan: "It's like a compulsion."
  Cappie: "Your face is like a compulsion."
  Evan: "That doesn't even make sense."
  Cappie: "Your face doesn't make any sense."
• Cappie: "First I'm not trustworthy and now I'm the runt of the society? Evan Chambers, you dastardly menace, now you've got me questioning everything!"
• Ashleigh joined the curling team? Lol.
• Ashleigh: "You are not Rusty. You have much, much daintier features...except his hands."
• Casey should just tell Rusty that she's lonely and bored. But where would the drama be in that?
• Alice played "swing the gerbil"? Oh geez...
• Cappie and Evan's reactions to Alice's array of animal horror stories were funny.
• Rusty: "You're so not the remote. You're more like the whole entertainment center."
• Evan: "I would much rather see you with her than me."
• Cappie: "We just started talking and we end up fighting over the first pet-killing lunatic we meet."
• OH NO! We didn't get to hear Cappie's deep, dark secrets!
• Calvin: "First of all, 'man hump'? No."
• Rusty: "Now you're not alone, and I am. I guess everything's right in the world again."
• We didn't get to hear Evan's deep, dark secrets either! And that boy's got some skeletons in his closet.
• Alice: "You both are just so tortured! I just want to hug you!"
  Evan: "No!"
  Cappie: "No!"
• Dean Bowman: "Nothing teaches us more about who we are than seeing ourselves in the people we least expect."
  Cappie: "Ahhhhhhhh! No, I don't get it."
• Cappie: "Conflict in the Cartwright clan? Paging Danny Tanner!"
• Rusty: "Do you realize how many nights in high school I sat alone watching Joan of Arcadia with my mother while Casey went out will all of her friends."
• Cappie: "Joan of Arcadia was the one with all the Navy lawyers, right?"

  Rusty: "No, that's JAG. Yeah, I watched that afterwards with my dad."
  Cappie: "You know I missed a lot of great television by having friends. It's a shame."
• Since when does Cappie miss any television? I thought he watches everything. He's the one, after all, who makes constant references to Full House, Jon & Kate Plus 8, Days of Our Lives, My So-Called Life, Reba, etc., etc., etc.
• I used to watch Joan of Arcadia too, and I was ticked off about it as well. Not because it was on a Friday night and I had nothing else to do, but more because I really didn't like that show.
• Rusty: "I wish I'd gone to MIT."

  Cappie (sees mostly naked Calvin): "What the hell is that?"

  Rusty: "It's a school...in Massachusetts..."
• Ha! Rusty gave Casey the Joan of Arcadia DVD.
• Um, I want to know what Rusty did to Casey's blanket that make it smell weird! Lol.
• Next week's preview: What in the heck is going on with Ashleigh's eye makeup?

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Greek: Society Boys

Greek:

"Divine Secrets & the ZBZ Sisterhood"

This was a solid episode. I could have lived without Rebecca's I'm-a-lesbian-no-wait-I'm-not storyline (actually, I could live without pretty much all of Rebecca's storylines), but other than that, there was a lot of quality stuff in this episode. Standouts included Cappie's quip when Rusty said that he was holding something interesting behind his back, Dale's extreme reluctance to even pretend to be stupid, Evan and Cappie sliding a little further down the road to reconciliation, and Evan finally getting back to wearing ties everyday!

Highlights and my observations:

• Heath choking on his drink when Cappie called Rusty a "douche-mover."
• I kind of adore Heath. I don't remember him being this funny back when he was hooking up with Cal.
• Cappie and Dale are phone buddies ;-)
• Dale: "He did tell me to keep you away from Sheila though. As if you'd have a shot!"
• Ahh, a collegiate secret society. How very Gilmore Girls/Veronica Mars...
• Sadly, like Rebecca, I don't think I know Calvin's last name either.
• Dale: "Alright, Sheila, I gotta go. Sounds like Rusty's right on the verge of another of his dangerous obsessions."
• Dale: "I know what they're all about: pagan rituals and controlling the government. They're insidious. They're like the ACLU."
• Cappie: "Run, gazelle! Run!"
• Cappie calls Dale "Daley."
• Rusty: "Cappie, I have something behind my back that's going to make you very happy."
  Cappie: "Sounds like Heath's department."
• Cappie: "I watched my youth slip away looking for them."
• Rusty: "We need your amazing instincts and street smarts."
  Dale: "No, we don't. We're geniuses. ...But please help us. I'm practically useless. I've got no sense of direction. I get lost in the apartment."
  Rusty: "Yes, that's true. It's almost like a learning disability."
  Dale: "OK! Let's--"
• Rebecca: "When you ask for advice, is it really just an excuse to hear yourself talk?"
• Rebecca: "I'm sure Osama bin Laden cried when his cat died, but that doesn't mean you should get in a cave with him!"
• Rusty: "...he also notes that she has an excellent butt."
• Dale: "Yeah, how exactly does one move douche?"
• Lol, Dale brought holy water.
• Cappie (mid-workout): "Just try to get me now, Mr. Cheetah!"
• How does Robin have such long hair if she shaved her head in high school? That was only like, what 7 or 8 years ago?
• Amphora's going to rue the day they picked Cappie. He is incapable of being respectfully quiet during a ceremony.
• How exactly has Cappie distinguished himself? His quick wit and plethora of smart-ass one-liners? His extensive knowledge of pop culture? His extensive jewelry collection?
• Evan! Amphora wants him too!
• Aww, poor Frannie. Now I'm feeling a little sorry for her too. She just looked so sad.
• Is Ashleigh somewhere that doesn't get cellphone reception? Just call her, Casey.
• This new dude of Calvin's sure has a fixation with lifting up his shirt and showing other guys his chest and abs. If he is straight, he should seriously rethink that behavior.
• Wow, no one has ever passed on joining Amphora before?
• Ha ha, this secret society is a little low-rent.
• Evan did the maps in Cappie's Amphora Society notebook. How sweet.
• Rusty: "Knock it off, Cap."

  Cappie: "Right here? In front of you?"
• Cappie: "Sorry, Dr. Phil, you lost me at the part where it kinda sounded like you made out with your own sister."
• Cappie: "I just think that the way you handled the Andy situation was kind of lame. And a bit Evan-escent."
• Calvin: "You know with metrosexuality and emo rockers wearing eyeliner and bromantic comedies, these modern times have gotten pretty confusing for us gays. I long for the days when a tight tank top told you everything you needed to know." (Seriously, how old was Calvin in those days? Like 5?)
• Cappie: "Uh, Plato never said that."

  Hooded guy: "Look! I didn't have time to write a speech!"
• Cappie: "Why did you go and do a thing like that?"
  Evan: "Temporary hood-provoked insanity."
• And then Cappie and Evan recited "We Used To Be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols:

  Cappie: "We used to be pretty good friends."

  Evan: "A long time ago."
• Evan's wearing a tie again! Yea! Is that a sign that he's officially out of his funk now?
• Cappie admits that he knew that Evan liked Casey first and he went after her anyway. It's nice to see somebody get off his high horse for once.
• Dale: "Let's go back to the apartment and you can cut my hair again."
• The dean runs the secret society? Doesn't that kind of defeat the whole point of a secret society?
• Another day and Evan's wearing another tie! And a vest! Wohoo!
• Aww, Evan and Cappie are secret friends now!

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Gossip Girl: Lily of the Valley & Prom Queen B

Gossip Girl:

"Valley Girls"

A couple days before the well-hyped Lily (Rhodes) van der Woodsen (Bass) flashback backdoor pilot aired, rumors swirled that The CW isn't planning on putting the Lily spin-off on its fall schedule after all, and will instead opt to pick up Beautiful Life (featuring The O.C.'s Mischa Barton), the Melrose Place update (because why come up with a new idea when you can remake an old one?) and Vampire Diaries (to capitalize on the Twilight hysteria) and to renew Privileged (which, ironically, is one the only shows I've ever watched that I've actually called on the network to cancel). After watching Lily's flashback take over this episode of Gossip Girl, I can say that--if the rumors are true--not picking up the Lily spin-off is one of the few programming decisions The CW has made that I agree with.

I once wondered if Josh Schwartz could ever create a show that I wouldn't like, and now we have our answer. The Lily '80s flashback was just painful. It lacked the wit and charisma that a Josh Schwartz show typically thrives on. The characters (even the ones we already knew) were underdeveloped and stereotypical. The dialogue was unnatural and sometimes just bizarre. The whole thing was boring. And Lily was possibly even more annoying as a teenager than she is now (and that is a major feat).

Oh, and you know the flashback was bad if I'm trashing it even though it included several cast members whom I already love or at least like: Ryan Hansen (my beloved Dick Casablancas from Veronica Mars), Krysten Ritter (a veteran of Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars, who is currently so much better in Breaking Bad), Andrew McCarthy (who will always be Larry from Weekend at Bernie's to me), and Cynthia Watros from Lost.

But the worst part of the whole Lily flashback was that it stole precious screen time from the Gossip Girl characters that we love! (Except for Vanessa--Lily can have all of Vanessa's screentime as far as I'm concerned.) Even though the Gossip Girlers were just navigating the world of prom, which was certainly not earth-shattering by any means, I just wanted to watch them!

Highlights, lowlights and quotes:

• Blair: "Serena's been in jail for 4 hours! That's longer than Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan combined!"
• Chuck: "Please, she's a socialite accused of stealing a bracelet. I doubt they're working her over with a phone book."
• Rufus still sucks. He tells Dan and Jenny that one of their best friends was just arrested at the behest of her mother, and when they ask for more information, he just yells at them to not get involved. That's helpful.
• Lily's parents had a tumultuous divorce? Then why did Cece still have her husband's suits in her house at the Hamptons? (Remember, Dan had to borrow Serena's grandpa's jacket to go to the White Party.)
• Lily's dad: "Punishing loved ones just comes much easier to some people."
• We've established that in Margaret Colin and John Shea, Blair has the coolest parents ever. Lily has some cool ones too: Larry from Weekend at Bernie's and Libby from Lost. Except Lily's parents are both acting like jerks. Not that I feel too badly for her; she was just as annoying in the '80s as she is now.
• It's only happened twice, but I'm already sick of transitioning in and out from the flashbacks. The stupid, reflective look on Lily's face as she reminisces makes me gag.
• Ha ha, Blair's looking at the scrapbook (that she supposedly hasn't looked at since she was a child).
• Blair: "Just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked at since I was an early adolescent!"
• Ha ha, is Chuck sabotaging Nate and Blair's dream prom? Because that's funny.
• Lily thinks Cece's toxic? Cece? Cece's probably the least toxic woman in this whole family.
• Limited editions of the Gossip Girl books are on sale that come with posters of the cast! Wow, I'm actually kind of excited about that; what am I, 12-years-old?
• Wow, young Lily, that was an overreaction (in the immortal words of Andy Bernard)! She didn't have to yell at the kid just for bumping into her.
• My sister: "This waiter dude is trying really hard to be Ryan Lafferty."
• Dan: "I'm sorry to bother you, but I can't leave Serena one more message and still call myself a man."
• Ahh! Scary! Poor Little J was just hanging out in her room when all of a sudden the garage door wall is thrown open by Dan, who is wearing only a t-shirt and purple boxers! Which is especially odd, because in the scene immediately proceeding that one, he was fully clothed while talking to Lily on the phone. So, he apparently stripped down to go talk to his little sister. Weirdo!
• Dan: "Hey, I think I need a dress for prom."
  Jenny: "Ok, but you're going to have to wear your own shoes."
• Good Lord, young Lily is annoying! "You're totally falling in love with me right now." SHUT UP! Trust me, no one is falling in love with you! Only Rufus is stupid enough to do that, and he doesn't come along for a couple more years.
• Oh, thank God, it's Ryan Hansen (who is rocking quite the hairdo)! He's about the only one who can save this horrendous flashback, but it's a tall order.
• Blair: "I've always tried to make my life resemble the movie in my head, and tonight no effort required!"
• Blair: "We don't do prom queen. That's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."
• Serena's white nail polish really held up in prison! It still looks flawless.
• Can we see a flashback into Eleanor's past now? Because I guarantee it would be a hell of a lot more interesting than this.
• Kind of cliche '80s music they're using here. It's not bad; it's just exactly what everyone would think of when they think '80s music: "I Melt With You," "The Safety Dance," etc.
• Blair: "Well, I just spent 10 seconds talking to you, so consider yourself repaid."
• Is that dress supposed to be Jenny's? Because that might explain why Serena's boobs are popping out of it, but I'm not really sure her boobs would have ever fit in Jenny's dress in the first place. That really is just supposed to be one of Jenny's dresses--Little J didn't just sew that one up in a half hour, right? Because not even Jenny can sew that fast.
• Wow, everyone else must have gotten tired of Lily's "remembering face" too, because now they're not using any kind of transitions from past to present at all.
• Hey, shocker, the young Mr. van der Woodsen is a jerk.
• The part where Owen throws Lily's "Your falling in love with me," line back at her would have been funny if the whole thing (namely the acting in this scene) wasn't so painful.
• Eew, Carol slept with Lily's future husband? Yuck.
• Can we please get back to Blair and Chuck's scintillating conversation about the prom queen?
• Nice punch, Ryan Hansen! He learned that move during the battles between Logan's rich kids and Weevil's motorcycle gang in Veronica Mars season 2.
• Blair: "This is my moment! I own prom!"
• Dan: "Who even voted for her?"

  Chuck: "Me. About 150 times."
• Oh. My. God. Chuck's "sabotage" turned out to be him ensuring that Blair's prom night was perfect and just like her scrapbook. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww, Chuck!!!
• Cece would rather have twenty Dan Humphreys from Brooklyn than that one stupid guy from the Valley? I mean, that dude was no prize, but Dan can be all kinds of annoying at times. I can only imagine how grating twenty Dans would be.
• Ugh, I can't even listen to Lily and Cece have this fight. It's too boring.
• Nate is awfully complacent. Blair wants him: he's ok with that. Blair doesn't want him: he's ok with that too apparently.
• Blair: "Your quasi half-brother slash ex-boyfriend was your date."
• Serena: "We went through it together. We raised each other. You're my sister."
• The "we raised each other" sentiment is sweet, but it's also extremely true and explains a lot about B and S.
• BTW, while she's "raising" Blair, couldn't Serena mention that Chuck told her he loves Blair and that he went to extremely lengths to give her a perfect prom night?
• Next week: Blair says to Chuck--for the hundredth time--"Tell me you love me," and, darn it, if he doesn't just say it this time, I'm going to eat my right hand! Lol. Maybe not. But I will be severely angered.
• I do wonder what is happening with Georgie and Poppy.
• Let's hope that this year's GG finale is a little less manic and whip-lash inducing than last season's finale. Pick your story lines wisely and let them breathe a little, GG.

(photo: cwtv.com; I am refusing to post a photo from the flashback out of principle.)

Gossip Girl: The Sting

Gossip Girl:

"The Wrath of Con"

Well, now we're talking. This episode was much better than last week's sub-par effort. Gossip Girl is at its best when some sort of group scheme is afoot, and tonight's scheme not only included Serena, Blair, Chuck and Nate but also Georgina, who I enjoy so much more this year than I did last year.

I don't think it's any coincidence that this episode was great and that there was no Vanessa in it. And, as a bonus, we got to see Eric for the first time in weeks! Well, we saw him for about 2 whole minutes anyway... We weren't given any more of an explanation as to where he was all this time, but if I had to live with Lily, Serena and Chuck, I'd probably need to flee on occasion too.

And for you trivia buffs out there, "The Wrath of Con" was also the name of Veronica Mars episode 1.04, in which Veronica has flashbacks to going to the Homecoming dance the year before with Lily, Logan and Duncan.

The episode:

• Chuck: "Well, his suits never did fit right."
• Poor Chuck is having a rough time riding in this cab. It's almost as bad as the thought of Blair on the subway.
• Geez, Nate, needy much? Blair's not allowed to do anything but sit around with you in the tiny apartment?
• Here's Rufus, or "Dupe of the Year" as Ashley has termed him, in fine form: acting creepy to random people on the street, singing in the subway, etc.
• Dan: "I'm pretty sure whatever that lady said was, 'Stoooooooooop!' in her own language."
• Serena: "You brought Nate?"
  Blair: "I'm just as flummoxed as you are. I got out at 53rd and made a run for it, but he's faster than he looks."
• Blair: "The only way her plans going to work is by an act of God." Cue Georgina. Ha ha!
• I loved everyone's reactions to Georgina's appearance, esp. those of Blair and Dan.
• Dan: "Ok, we need to get this crazy girl out of here!"
• Oh, Dan, just shut up for once in your freaking life! You don't have to go tell Lily everything.
• My sister's take on the situation: "It's sweet that Dan thinks he actually has a parent now (in Lily) instead of just whatever Rufus is..."
• Poppy's a fauxcialite!! Ha, that's a great word. (But is there an official spelling? Do we hyphenate it: faux-cialite?)
• Ugh, Blair's got a real Sophie's choice here: go with Nate and talk or stay with Georgie and talk.
• Yep, Gabriel, you should go. Good job, van der Woodsen, you do know how to pick 'em.
• WHOA! Eric looks completely different? Where was he? Makeover camp? His blond tips are all gone.
• I kind of buy earnest Georgie more than I bought evil Georgie. If this is an act, she's good.
• Blair: "If you look at it, Jesus drove you here."
  Georgie: "Actually, I think you pronounce it 'Hey-Zeus.'"
• Blair: "She's so evil, she makes the old Georgina look like the new Georgina."
• Poppy's got some nerve, showing up at the van der Woodsen's apartment!
• Lily: "Well, we can only hope that those people will be smarter than we were." (I'd say the odds are pretty good that they are.)
• Serena (to Dan): "I don't know, why don't you call my mom? You seem to like to talk to her these days."
• Jenny gives such sage marriage proposal advice for a 16-year-old.
• Ok, whiny Nate has stumbled onto a good point: if Chuck still wants Blair, it's time to man up and tell her.
• Hahahahahahaha! Jenny rattling off the whole plot of Twilight to stall Lily was hilarious! Little J can be so entertaining when she's not staging guerrilla fashion shows or dropping out of high school... (My sister wonders when Jenny found the time to read/watch Twilight, what with all her marathon all-night sewing sessions.)
• Dan! Shut up, shut up, shut up!
• Lily just left the financial papers in a drawer for Rufus to find?! Didn't she learn from the time she left her list of lovers in her purse and he found it? The dude goes through your stuff, Lily! You need to hide these things better!
• Georgie: "Are you a Carrie? I'm a Charlotte!"
• Blair: "Maybe you just want me to be as unhappy as you are."

  Chuck: "I would never wish that on anyone."
• Holy intense conversation we're having here in the middle of an epic sting operation, Chuck and Blair!
• Serena: "Chuck, why did you just do that?"

  Chuck: "Because I love her. And I can't make her happy."
• Ohhh, Chuck :-(
• Georgie (brainstorming things the African kids can do with the wireless internet): "They can read Bible stories. Oh! They can download Kirk Cameron movies!"
• That Kirk Cameron joke would have killed if everyone had the work-related distaste for Fireproof that I have.
• I can't say there haven't been times that I would have welcomed seeing Serena carted away by the police, but this isn't really one of them...
• That Poppy Lifton is craftier than they give her credit for. Now she's made off with the camp's Bible money too!
• I totally knew that Lily called the cops on Serena. Wow, that's real nice. The only thing standing between Lily and the Mother of the Year award is Eloise Hawking. (Luckily for Serena and Eric, Lily's still got a ways to go to get into Eloise territory.)
• Rufus: "I have raised my kids just fine without your help!" (Really, Rufus? Really?)
• Rufus: "This coming from the same woman who wouldn't even let me put Jenny in the back of a squad car!" (This is a strange argument Rufus and Lily are suddenly having here. How many parents have such recent experience with having their own children incarcerated?)
• Blair: "I don't think that Jesus would approve of that..."
• What is Georgie going to do to Poppy? I'm actually kind of concerned for the fauxcialite.
• Chuck: "I need you to dig up what dirt you can on the 55th precinct."
• Wow, the inside of the 55th precinct is really dark! How do they take mugshots with such poor lighting?

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Coming Home

Greek:

"Take Me Home, Cyprus Rhodes"

Greek = the reason I can't boycott ABC Family due to its crap treatment of Kyle XY. I am emotionally incapable of not watching this show. It just makes me so happy. My cheeks actually hurt after I watch an episode of Greek because it makes me smile the whole time.

As glad as I am that Rusty's freshman year is finally over (longest. school year. ever), it's all kinds of depressing that they're starting fall semester. Ick. I hate fall. Could we have done Greek: Summer School instead?

Best parts of the episode: Everything with Dale and also Cappie mentioning that he watches Jon and Kate Plus 8. At some point, I need to compile a list of all the shows that Cappie and I both watch.

I tried to write down all the funny quotes in this episode, but it was a battle. Whenever I was trying to write one quote down, somebody would say three more funny things. Here's what I got (mixed with some of my observations):

• Aww, Rusty was a camp counselor! How sweet.
• Vinny van Lowe! Greek continues its fascination with Veronica Mars. (They've already had Deputy Leo on the show. Plus there's that whole "Beaver"-as-a-name thing that really ticked me off at first.)
• Rusty: "I guess you could say that when it comes to little boys, I have the touch... That's not what I meant."
• Rusty: "Now go out there and proudly spread your seed! ...I'm really not sure what's wrong with me today."
• Max! He's so cute.
• Casey's internship blouse is awesome!
• Max told Casey that his Cal-Tech grant money fell through. Eesh. Like the truth isn't going to come out...
• Casey's keeping secrets from Ashleigh? Uh oh.
• Frannie's new sorority is called IKI. Casey: "Icky?"
• Beav arrives carrying beer flavored popsicles.
• Wow, Rusty did an impressive job of soundproofing his room.
• Did Rebecca switch sororities just so she could watch Frannie flounder? She seems to enjoy watching people squirm so much.
• Casey: "Last year, two girls almost came to blows over whether Cameron Diaz looks better as a blonde or brunette. And, yes, those two girls were Ashleigh and me."
• Cappie: "We just finished our nightly--morningly?--1 a.m. power nap. Morningly?"
  Beav: "Morningly."
• DALE!!!!!!!
• Dale: "I have to fight off a surly mechanical engineer to get this spot. I told him to build a bridge...and get over it."
• Dale's new roommate is deathly pale, has a weird, unplaceable accent and wrote a Dale thank you note for making his own bed!
• Rusty: "Are you aware that's how you used to talk about going to church?"
• Ben Bennett's banking on the fact that pepperoni doesn't go bad.
• Cappie: "Beaver has just hit his 14-month developmental milestones!"

  Beaver: "I can drink through a straw!"
• It would seriously mess up the show, but I think Casey taking a break from ZBZ might not be a bad idea. It would certainly cut down on the drama in her life. Aww, but poor Ashleigh. She looks so sad.
• Rusty: "And don't you find the diet of smoked meats constipating?"
• Evan! I've even missed you! Let's hope you really are back to the nicer version of yourself.
• Calvin: "If you mess with Rusty again, I will have to kick your ass." (It's about time, Cal. Where the hell were you when he hit Rusty in the face with a paddle?)
• Cappie: "...drinking beer, watching the full series of Full House on DVD."

  Casey: "Is that what you did all summer?"

  Cappie: "Of course not. I also watched Jon and Kate Plus 8. It's amazing how they make it all work."
• Yes, Cappie, senior year is short for most people. For you guys, I suspect that senior year will last for at least 5 mini seasons. I'm sure it will seem plenty long.
• Rusty (to the opossum): "This is supposed to be a single."
• Dale: "Yeah. I thought smelled the dung of a mid-sized marsupial."
• Ash: "This was a brilliant idea, Case. And not just because it gave me an opportunity to wear my camo booty shorts."
• Casey: "The other interns came with years of political knowledge. I came with subtle highlights and the ability to make a silly skit about almost anything. ...Worst of all, they called me Elle Woods."
• Rusty: "Hey guys! I just had an epiphany."

  Beav: "Aw, man. Did it get on the seats?"
• Casey: "I just met a Canadian guy who was looking for a roommate. He was really nice."

  Dale: "This Canuck is relentless!"
• AHAHAHAHA! The building manager lady winked at Dale! OMG, that was hilarious.
• I'm glad that Dale and Rusty are going to be roommates again, but I wish we'd gotten to meet Dale's Canadian roommate. That guy sounds awesome.
• Dale (to Casey): "I have no problem being your submissive. I have no problem being submissive...to you."
• So, Evan, are you rethinking this whole Frannie thing yet? Because you know it's not worth it.
• Ashleigh: "Rebecca, you could have picked the handicapped stall!"
• Yeah, I saw it coming that Rebecca is actually a spy in Frannie's house. Still not sorry that Casey told her off.
• Ashleigh has a crush on the dean! That's Cameron from Ferris Bueller, right?

(photo: abcfamily.com)

Gossip Girl: Damages

Gossip Girl:
"Carnal Knowledge"

After a second season full of many awesome episodes of Gossip Girl, this one was just good. Or maybe even just ok. The main problems were these:

• After Blair's speech about going into battle at the end of last week's episode, I really expected her to come up with a more impressive scheme to take down Miss Rachel Carr (New Teacher) than just posting a rumor on Gossip Girl. I could have come up with that--evil genius Blair Waldorf should be able to think up something so much better.
• Yet again Dan and Serena invented some silly reason to break up. We've only seen that happen at least 10 times already...
• I wonder when exactly I came to hate Dan Humphrey. He was absolutely my favorite part of the first two episodes of GG (remember The Wave? So cute). But now, I seriously detest everything about him.
  
• Chuck should not be left muddling through his own random subplot. Yes, I love Chuck. Yes, I'd watch him do about anything. But, no, we don't need to test my limits. Give him something to do other than tracking down high class escorts/nannies that have connections to secret societies. Personally I don't really care about what Bart was up to.
  
• Are we still pushing this Nate/Vanessa thing? It's time to abandon the sinking ship, folks.
• And, why is it that when we see a lot of Jenny Humphrey, I want to see much, much less of her, but when she makes herself scarce, I seriously miss her?

All that said, any episode of Gossip Girl has it's share of awesome quotes. Here's a list of some of them mixed with some of my other thoughts on "Carnal Knowledge":

• Since when does getting detention mean you have to pick up trash in the park? At Constance? Rich people allow this?
• Dorota: "Miss Blair, your martyr act: no good."
• Chuck! Why are you so hungover and slovenly today? I thought maybe we'd moved on from that. Guess not.
• Ha, Nelly's the only one of the minions not mouthing off to Blair, yet Blair knocks her book on the ground.
• No cell phone usage during school hours? These poor kids are going to die.
• Hazel's withdraw symptoms are causing her to air text.
• Dorota's spy sunglasses are hot.
• Blair: "Nelly Yuki, get a grip!"
• Why isn't Nate in school? Or Chuck? I mean I know that Vanessa is "home schooled" (which in her case means "not schooled at all"), but Nate and Chuck should be in school. I guess spring semester seniors at these schools really do get free passes like 14-year-old gymnasts...
• Chuck is sporting a hot new haircut.
• And Vanessa's sporting the neon-est of green pants ever. Eew.
• Um, she was wearing a mask--how does Chuck know that she was "the most beautiful woman [he'd] ever seen"?
• Oh, Blair just fell into this one. You barely even need to make something up here; Dan's practically feeling Miss Carr up in the middle of the hallway.
• Dan: "I'm glad that you're not wearing that raccoon makeup anymore. You looked like one of The Incredibles."
• Ha, I love that Jenny doesn't believe Dan when he tells her he's not hooking up with his teacher! She certainly has a low opinion of her brother.
• It's impressive that everyone in school knows what's on Gossip Girl even though they don't have their cell phones.
• Oh, come on! Annoying New Teacher (Rachel) is trying to ruin everything! Don't mess with Gossip Girl! Gossip Girl is an institution.
• Nelly Yuki! I'm shocked and appalled. She sold Blair out at the drop of a hat. And I don't think I understand why--why does she think it's her record or Blair's? No one thought Nelly started the rumor, so why would her record be in jeopardy?
• They're expelling Blair for starting a rumor?! That seems a little harsh.
• Hmm, I love John Shea something awful, but I kind of wish Eleanor were around to help handle this situation. Harold is a little blind to Blair's faults.
• Hahaha, Rufus thinks Dan's banging the teacher too!
• Why does New Teacher (Rachel) find it so important to be Serena and Dan's "friend"? That's totally not her job; she's being paid to be their teacher.
• Blair: "Dorota, give Handsome to a homeless man. Make sure he has kind eyes."
• Whoa, no wonder New Teacher (Rachel) doesn't know about Gossip Girl, she still uses an old-school date book.
• Chuck: "I'm late for my chiropractor. She's double-jointed. It makes the Kama Sutra feel new again."
• No, New Teacher, Dan is NOT your friend. If you need friends in the city, find somewhere else (besides the school you work in) to meets some! She is really asking for trouble--hanging out after school in a cafe with the student she's rumored to be banging?
  
• Holy moly! Dan, I don't care what is going on, never touch your teacher's face and/or hair!! Eew!
• Yea Serena! Way to take that picture! (I hope the glass window doesn't cause any problems with the photo quality.)
• I wonder if this secret society that Chuck's stumbled onto has anything to do with the secret society that Veronica Mars was investigating at the end of season 3? The Castle, I think they were called. Because if this subplot leads to a meeting between Chuck Bass and Veronica Mars, I will be wholeheartedly on board!
• Oberlin will take Blair even though she's been expelled?
• Blair: "Dorota, go get my dog back!"
• There aren't a whole lot of parents at this meeting.
• Why is New Teacher even at this meeting?
• Blair: "I believe it's called exculpatory evidence. I love Damages!" Ha ha ha, I bet Blair watches Damages to get new ideas for schemes and blackmail.
• Look, Serena, I don't care if he didn't kiss her--he shouldn't be touching her darn face!
• Dan: "I told you nothing was going on!" Then why were you touching her darn face?
• No, Dan, Miss Carr is the one should be punished. She is a professional; you are just a stupid, stupid kid.
• Whoa, Miss Carr has a hell of a nice apartment considering she claims to be such a poor, sad sack.
• Blair (to Handsome): "Ramon got you a Chanel beret."
• Aww, I'm going to miss Handsome.
• Oh, darn, Elle's gone missing. That's too bad.
• Well, Miss Carr's not a teacher now so why shouldn't Dan sleep with her?... Argh! Humphrey, where is your strict moral code now?
• And then of course Miss Carr's firing doesn't stick. Which sucks because I want this loser gone. Geez, why isn't there somebody with a camera phone hiding in Rachel's apartment?
• Gossip Girl has developed quite the knack for introducing guest characters with several episode story arcs, who show up and seem ok at first but then rapidly become so unredeemably annoying that there's no choice but to ship them off ASAP. (Examples: Georgina Sparks, Lord Marcus, Agnes, Jack Bass, Aaron Rose, etc.)
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: Yale Canto

Gossip Girl:
"You've Got Yale"

There was literally zero Chuck/Blair interaction, but this episode was still fantastic. There were a variety of factors that made this episode enjoyable, namely: Harold showed up(!), Serena and Blair both wore outfits composed of so much plaid it should be illegal, someone finally told Lily off for treating her children and the memory of her dead husband like crap, Blair fired off more zingers than it was possible to copy down, Vanessa got coughed on, the smarmy uncle was sent packing, and Chuck turned out to be a knight in shining armor.

Like I said, Blair was firing on all cylinders all episode long, so it's no surprise that she had the Quote of the Episode, but--in the style of the Beijing Olympic uneven bars event finals judges--I couldn't pick just one:

Blair: "I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory!"

and

Blair: "Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies and 14-year-old gymnasts!"

I love that Gossip Girl tossed in the 14-year-old gymnast reference. Not only did they have Nastia Liukin on the show, but now it's like they've got her back and are taking up her cause. Very cool.

Quotes, highlights and observations:

• Ha--Harold, Darota, and Roman all dressed up in Yale attire.
• They bought Blair her own Handsome Dan!
• Blair: "I don't know about the name though. We'll just call him Handsome."
• Blair: "He's as dead to me as his dad is to him."
• Look on the bright side, Serena and Dan; going away to Yale will give you the opportunity to get the hell away from your crazy-ass parents.
• Eric: "I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Remember that."
• If Chuck's still "the face" of the company, then why wouldn't he be sitting in Bart's seats at the opera?
• Since when is Serena's family in the hotel business? Oh, because Bart was in the hotel business? Do they still count Bart as part of their family?
• Does Yale really send out acceptances via e-mail now?
• Oh, poor B. Wait-listed? After all she did for that annoying chick?
• So, now, is Blair really so a better fit that Rory for Yale? I mean, at least Rory got in.
• Eew, why would Chuck want to move into Lily's house if he has to listen to her and Rufus having sex all the time? Yuck. (Actually, now that I think about it, Chuck might be the one person who would enjoy that...)
• So, only one person from Constance can go to Yale at a time? That seems like Yale is really limiting their talent pull. Why not take two awesome candidates just because they're from the same school?
• Blair: "Witch hunts are my Valium. I'm just trying to stay calm."
• Blair: "Now he'll just be lumped in with all the other Financial Aid-iates and poets."
• Eew, why would the board want Lily to have been left in control of the company? Do they know her? That sounds like a seriously bad idea.
• Even if he's all coked up, Jack at least knows that Lily would be a bad company leader.
• Blair didn't apply anywhere else?! Are you kidding me?! Fancy-butt school Constance doesn't make its students apply to more than one school?! Oy vey!
• Lily: "And you got him on Megan's List?"
  Chuck: "If only his apartment were a little closer to a playground."
• #26 on Chuck's list of how to take down Jack is "Crash Jack in plane." (How very Dirty Sexy Money.)
  
• Chuck calls Rufus Lily's "half-price hustler."
• Chuck: "You say you want to be family, but if you meant it, you wouldn't parade your mistress in public."
• Tell her, Charles!!! It's scary when Chuck Bass is so right about something!
• Blair: "Cancel the Nelly Yuki Project now!"
• Oh, come on, what were Nate and Vanessa really laughing so heartily about? I don't believe for a second that either one of them said something that funny.
• Eric talking about the opera (in German) is adorable. Eric is hysterical. He should only have funny lines and not have to try to sell sappy tales like "I just lost my step-father, I don't want to lose my brother too."
• Izzy and Penelope playing the angel and devil on Blair's shoulders was awesome.
• Serena's dress is gorgeous. (Of course I don't need to see that much of her boobs, but it is Serena, so I'm used to it.)
• Dan: "It went from Family Ties to Faulkner in one cocktail."
• Jack: "Who's your lucky escort? Someone you picked up at the funeral?"
• Rufus: "Ahh, kids, God love them. They do things like misread the opera calendar."
• Hey, I've seen an opera from as far back as Nate and Vanessa are sitting, and it's not that bad. Although the lady coughing all over them is not cool at all. But, I gotta say, I kind of love watching Vanessa get coughed on.
• Apparently the van der Woodsens need to get better soundproofing in their penthouse.
• Dan: "Oh, God, where are the boxes with the lids?"
• Harold: "Blair, turn off your phone. Remember the Kevin Kline incident?"
• Blair's dress is lovely too.
• Bye bye, smarmy uncle.
• It is so much colder in New York than any of these people are dressed for. I mean, look at what the actors have to wear between takes.
• Thank goodness Chuck knows how to take action! Rufus just stands around like a nincompoop. Chuck is such a knight in shining armor. (Swoon. I just love that kid.)
• Chuck's big busting-in-and-punching-out-the-bad-guy thing was rather reminiscent of a Logan Echolls or a Ryan Atwood.
  
• Sweet handshake between Rufus and Chuck.
• Wow, Blair is wearing sooooooooooo much plaid! Plaid blouse, plaid skirt, plaid coat. Holy heck. And I thought the outfit Serena was wearing earlier in the episode was plaid-crazy (which is the sole reason I picked the photo of her to put with this entry).
• Serena (about going to Brown): "Oh, and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit." (That does sound like it's right up Serena's alley.)
• Who took a pic of Serena and Dan making out at cotillion? That's kind of creepy.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Gossip Girl: A Wedding and a Funeral

Gossip Girl:
"O Brother, Where Bart Thou?"

Today my sister saw this in the Wall Street Journal:

"Stayin' alive. Buried in the tax law is a powerful incentive for many wealthy people who care about their heirs to stay alive at least until the dawn of 2009. The basic federal estate-tax exclusion, now $2 million, is scheduled to soar to $3.5 million next year. Thus, if someone survives until Jan. 1, an additional $1.5 million of that person's estate will be sheltered from the federal estate tax, where the top rate is 45% both this year and next."

So, do we think that the real reason Chuck Bass is so upset is that he would have gotten an extra $1.5 million tax free if Bart had just held off on succumbing to the fatal automobile accident for one more little month? Or is it because his unclassy skank of a step-mother marries people she doesn't love for money? A mixture of the two, perhaps?

I now hate both Rufus and Lily more than I hate Vanessa. Vanessa! Rufus is just smug and self-righteous and whiny. Lily is a terrible person. What the hell was she even thinking blaming CHUCK for Bart's accident (in the scene in Bart's office)?!? (She said that Bart wouldn't have been driving to the party if Chuck hadn't called him.) WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HER? Why would you say that to a grieving teenager? And then she freaking slapped him!!! Like I said last week, slapping a kid during his father's funeral just is not okay. Evil, crazy woman.

Poor, poor Chuck. The boy is not handling this well (as we would expect). Yea for Blair for doing her best to stand by him. And hurray for one of those two finally having the balls to say "I love you." How much better is it that she said it in a situation like this instead of as a ploy to get him in bed? Unfortunately, grieving Chuck is a hard nut to crack, and he could only accept her comfort for a short period of time. (Don't fall asleep when you're on Chuck-watch, Waldorf.)

Highlights and observations:

• Wow, so Bart's already dead, huh? No long, drawn out coma storyline or anything?
• Eric: "We know that's gin in your coffee cup."
• Lily: "We're doing comfort food! Nobody's comforted by a tuna tower!"
• Eleanor!
• Cyrus: "Because, my dear, in the midst of death, we are in life!"
  Eleanor: "Genius."
• Oh, so Dan's been a rock for Serena these last few days, huh? Speaking of rocks, Serena's wearing a whole mineral collection around her neck! At least she's not displaying her typical amount of cleavage to go to her step-father's funeral.
• Oh, Rufus is waiting for Lily this time, huh? So he's not going to start bedding random 23-year-olds a week from now?
• Oh, my freaking gosh, Chuck killed me in the first scene with the PI in the bar. He looks devastated.
• Do Dan and Aaron need to stand together? Awkward.
• Eric looks tiny compared to towering Jenny in her heels. At least Jenny's gothic, all-black wardrobe is finally appropriate.
• Blair: "Am I going to have to stick my finger down your throat? Nate will hold back your hair."
• Wow, Chuck is crazy mad at Dan! It's too bad Rufus didn't show up--I'd like to see him feel some of Chuck's wrath too.
• Is Jenny going to get kicked out too? I'd love to see Chuck turn on her now.
• Here's my proof the Ed Westwick would kill as a vampire. (He's even got the dark circles under his eyes.) No one should ever doubt my casting decisions again.
• Oh geez. Now we have to listen to whiny Rufus' stupid song?
• Blair: "I'm not maternal. I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus, and I'm turning Jewish."
• Eleanor really wants to get married in an outfit Jenny made? She must not have seen the dress Jenny made for Penelope to were the the Snowflake Ball...
• Geez, just go away, Aaron! Even Serena wants you to leave now.
• Ok, was Jonathan always this much of a dork? Is there a point to him coming back? I mean, it's nice that Eric has someone who cares about him, but I don't really care...
• Why did Blair and Nate leave Chuck alone upstairs?
• No, Nate, Blair should not just let Chuck go; he's a freaking wreck. Nice to know that Nate's still worthless in a crisis. Jenny dodged a bullet here.
  
• Blair: "But I am me and you're you. We're Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had--I will stand by you through anything."
  Chuck: "And why would you do that?"
  Blair: "Because I love you."
• Aww, poor Blair; she started to cry when Cyrus told her he loves her.
• Blair: "Only a masochist could love such a narcissist."
• No, Lily, there are no subtle nuances to what you did (loving Rufus and marrying Bart anyway). You just suck.
• Nice use of an accent by Dan when he said "going off to Buenos Aires with Aaron."
• Jenny: "You still have feelings for her, right? Okay, do you think you can put them into words and speak to her out loud?"
• Geez, I hope Chuck takes every cent of Bart's money away from Lily. She is so beyond unclassy. Going away with Rufus the day after her husband's funeral? I think even Julie Cooper waited a little longer than that after Caleb's funeral to hook back up with Jimmy.
  
• Hmm, so Lily's mom wants the truth out there? Interesting. Because she knows it will break up Rufus and Lily?
• Dan: "I carried the garment bag."
• Blair's dress for the wedding is gorgeous. Probably because Jenny didn't make that one.
  
• Wow, Dorota looks fantastic! It looks like she got to wear one of Blair's headbands.
• I hope Dan beats smug Rufus and his turtleneck the hell up.
• Don't burn it, Chuck! You don't have to go public with whatever info is in the document, but I'd keep it around just in case.
• Awww, the scene with Blair holding Chuck was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
• Biggest. Eye roll. Ever. I was hoping so much that Lily's big secret wouldn't be that she had Rufus' love child. Who couldn't see that coming from about 300 miles away? And, frankly, if you're Gossip Girl, it's embarrassing that the new 90210 beat you to this storyline.
• Oh no, the previews indicate that Chuck's going to continue to spiral out of control. I just hope the poor kid doesn't fall of the roof. There's no reason for him to go all Cassidy Casablancas on us.
  

Headband Monday: I wore the blue one with criss-crossed ribbons. Probably should have gone with black though since it's the color of mourning and poor Chuck is in pain.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Greek: Rusty Swallows Three Baby Fish

Greek: "Hell Week"

The highlight of Greek's third "season" finale was by far when Rusty assumed he was supposed to swallow the (alive) fish, did it, and then found out that's not what he was supposed to do at all. It was absolutely horrific! But the genuinely stunned reaction from the Kappa Tau brothers was hilarious. Poor Rusty. And poor Beaver, because he took the whole incident pretty hard. At first, I had made the same assumption as Rusty, but I couldn't believe that even the Kappa Taus would so flagrantly fly in the face of PETA with their hazing techniques.

Exchange of the Night:
Cappie: "You were supposed to take care of the fish this week, not eat them!"
Rusty: "Then why'd you give us bibs?!"
Cappie: "This is a baby fish papoose pouch!"

Aside from that ordeal, I didn't find this episode to be particularly spectacular. After reading about the humongous "game changer," I was expecting more than Frannie being a pain in the butt again (this time by starting her own sorority). I don't don't think the will-Rebecca-go-with-Frannie-or-stay-at-ZBZ cliff hanger holds up very well. For 90% of the series, Rebecca has been nothing but aggravating. If Frannie wants her, she can have her, for all I care. Good riddance to them all. Think how much better ZBZ will be when all the losers go with Frannie.

I think what most surprised me was that Cappie and Casey did not actually have their customary season finale make out session. I'm not sure how I feel about Max (apparently) turning down Cal Tech. I like his character and I like him and Casey together, but I can't help but feel that he's wasting his time with Casey, who will probably end up getting back together with both with Cappie AND Evan during the course of her senior year (which will probably stretch through at least four of Greek's "seasons"). I see a rocky road ahead, but if Cappie wants her back so badly, it will be nice if he has to get off his butt and fight for her a bit.

I also thought that Calvin was going to drop out of Omega Chi after finding out that Evan hit Rusty in the face with the paddle.

Highlights and observations:

• The circling people's body issues in permanent marker idea came straight from Veronica Mars, and Cappie can't deny it.
• No one should give this much power over other people to Cappie. Or Evan (obviously).
• Cal Tech really just got back to Max now? That's kind of last minute.
• Frannie and Evan having appointments with realtors sounds like trouble.
• Dale: "You two wouldn't know hell if it stuck you in the bottom with a pitch fork."
• Beaver: "I accidentally scooped you three fish, Rusty."
• Rebecca: "Can I please get a ZBZ patchwork quilt? I'm redecorating my cabin up at Lake Tacky-crap."
• Beaver doesn't seem to have gotten over his obsession with Wikipedia.
• Eew, mayonnaise potstickers? I like potstickers, but that's disgusting.
• Dale: "Nine months of temptation, God, and I proved myself."
• Rusty: "Now I have to prove to the actives why I'm a true Kappa Tau."
  Dale: "Well, you could just show them a biopsy of your decayed liver."
• I loved Dale's last scene. They usually play his ardent religious beliefs for comedic relief, but in this scene, he talked about his faith and came off seeming very wise and comforting. That was a very classy scene on Greek's part.
  
• Ugh, it's L.C. Didn't I get enough of her when she was on Privileged for no reason? Ick, Casey dreams that she's getting life advice from L.C.? No wonder she's messed up.
• Did Casey really not expect that Cappie would be in the bar? I'm not buying that.
• Cappie: "Let me guess, Max is having an emotional affair with his World of Warcraft teammate, right?"
• Not sure taking life advice from Cappie is much better than taking it from L.C. Especially since Cappie's got one huge ulterior motive here.
• I do totally agree with Casey when she says, "I can't keep making decisions based on the guys in my life."
• Poor Max is about to burst into tears. This week has been rough on my favorite TV relationships: first what went down between Chuck and Blair and now this!
• How did Evan recognize the back of Rusty so quickly?
• Rusty and Evan are both really fast!
• Wow, the sound of Rusty's scream really carried! He was still a long way away.
• That was a very ugly fight in the middle of the street. I'd say I was surprised that Evan sucker-smacked Rusty in the face with the paddle, but I'm not. Evan has sunk very, very low these past few months.
• I am surprised that Rusty doesn't have more nose damage after that smack.
• The school is just allowing Frannie to start her own sorority? Aren't there rules about that?

While this wasn't my favorite episode of Greek, I'm going to miss this show a lot while it's on hiatus. Time and time again moments like Rusty swallowing the fish prove that this show is head and shoulders better than it needs to be.