Gossip Girl: A Comedy of Manners

Gossip Girl: "The Age of Dissonance"

Someone must be made to account for me not getting to see Chuck Bass acting in the senior class play! Why deny me of that awesomeness? Especially if it's only to make me watch Chuck muddle his way through yet another week of this crappy escort/secret society plot line.

Highlights and observations:

• They're doing The Age of Innocence. Ha. That's funny.
• Nate: "I still can't believe Chuck got a doctor to diagnose him with acute stage fright. Should have gone with mercury poisoning."
• Blair: "But really, S, aren't you sick of brooding artists?"
• Dan and Rachel are acting out the Police song "Don't Stand So Close To Me." The one about the young teacher and the student and strong words in the staff room.
• What the hell else does Vanessa have to do but make a documentary about the senior play?
• Why does Chuck seem to be flirting with Mr. Campbell? Ha ha.
• Carter! That Sebastian Stan is everywhere these days.
• Seriously, we don't get to see Chuck's thespian skills just so he can do more of this stupid escort/secret society storyline all by himself? No fair.
• No, Jenny, don't pass notes between Dan and his teacher girlfriend. You know better.
• How many times has Yale granted and rescinded Blair's acceptance now? This is ridiculous. Doesn't Yale have anything better to do than mess with one girl? If they're really this bored, the could help Vanessa with her documentary.
• Gossip Girl: "When God closes a door, he opens a play."
• Blair: "No, leave it. She'll need as much padding as possible."
• How could Julian not be paying attention to Serena? She doesn't seem to have put her shirt all the way on.
• Vanessa: "Yeah. And I'm totally annoying." Finally, she gets it!
• Holy moly. Is Rufus actually going to act like a father? Um, well, kind of... He did better than he usually does, but he still left a little to be desired. I mean, she might not have gotten the hint from his scene of returning the key. He probably should have thrown in a "Stay the hell away from my kid, OR ELSE!" for good measure.
• Serena's not a very good actress.
• Um, I can tell you a few reasons why The Great Gatsby film stunk...
• Ha ha ha, poor Nate! He's so gullible.
• Wow, now somebody's after Serena now too! This is getting interesting.
• Um, shocker. Of course Carter's up to no good. Duh, Chuck. You used to be smarter than this.
• Blair: "You're right. I'm an actress. No, I'm a seagull!"
• I kind of want Dan Humphrey's head on a platter too. Just in general.
• Should a teacher who was just accused of having an affair with a student be showing off that much cleavage? Geez!
• Um, just try to stay away from her Dan. I bet you can do it. Or at the very least don't screw her in the costume closet! Argh! Stupid, stupid, stupid.
• Nelly Yuki is really selling it ;-)
• Julian: "My friends, you are still in labor!"
  Nelly: "I fell like I'm in labor..."
  
• Dan (to Blair in the play): "You might be the most honest woman I've ever met."
  
• The scene with Dan and Blair in the carriage was hilarious.
  
• Nate's on-stage meltdown was great. Especially when Blair played along. Suddenly, they made the play interesting.
  
• Good riddance, Vanessa. Nate's so over this.
  
• Hey, the professional escort was just using you, Chuck! Imagine!
  
• Dan (to Blair): "And we had sex in the costume closet, so you can do whatever you want with that."
  
• Geez, Vanessa, just go the hell away. Oh, Nate, don't take her back. It's not worth it.
  
• I enjoyed seeing Chuck being let in by Dorota in her fluffy pink bathrobe.
  
• Is Blair drinking that martini, or just sitting there with it?
  
• Frankly, I'm not bummed that the Chuck and Blair reunion isn't going to happen tonight. If the great Chuck/Blair reunion ended up happening as the result of a random escort/secret society plot line that went nowhere, I'd be peeved.
  
• Next week's promo: Is Blair taking her rejection from Yale as an excuse to bed as many boys (who aren't Chuck) as possible? Both Carter and Nate next week? Goodness, Miss Blair!
  

(photo: cwtv.com)

Kings: Slaying the Giant

Kings: "Goliath"

Before I discuss the pilot episode of Kings, I must begin by saying that the kid who plays David (Chris Egan) reminds me so much of Rolf (Daniel Truhitte) from The Sound of Music that it's distracting. I keep expecting him to belt out, "I am seventeen going on eighteen; I'll take care of you!" and dance around a gazebo. I can't be the only one who sees this. Here they are side by side:

Now, as for Kings, I'm not totally sure how I feel about the show. I love The Tudors, so a new show featuring intrigue in the court of a royal monarchy seems promising (especially since it's a show that I don't need Showtime to watch). It's also very intriguing that Kings tells the story of a modern kingdom ruled by a monarch. It seems modern monarchies usually only show up in pop culture in ridiculous teen movie like The Princess Diaries or The Prince & Me. But from the looks of it, Kings' Kingdom of Gilboa is nothing like Princess Mia's Genovia.

I think my main complaint about Kings is that it's really dense. I spent most of the episode trying to figure out the history behind this whole King Silas business. After all, since this isn't The Tudors and this stuff didn't really (more or less) happen, you can't just Wikipedia the names of characters to help you understand what's going on. Plus, the show also uses a lot of (sometimes rather heavy-handed) religious allusions, so that adds even more for viewers to wade through.

Is the show worth all the effort? I'm not sure yet, but I think it might be. It's certainly interesting. King Silas sure seems to be quite the character, I'm thinking that you probably don't want to mess with the queen, Prince Jack is basically Chuck Bass with a few interesting twists, and I liked the chemistry between Daniel and Princess Michelle. I think that the show would be better if they dial back the politics a tad and up the soapiness quotient, but that might just be my personal preference.

Specific thoughts and highlights:

• The capital is called Shiloh? Are we supposed to search for context clues in the Neil Diamond song? Or is it a reference to Shiloh Jolie-Pitt?
• Rev. Samuels: "You are very polite, David."
  David: "It's just how I was raised."
  Rev. Samuels: "Do something about that before you grow up."
• Butterflies? Really?
• So the king was a soldier who was raised up into being a monarch? That's interesting.
• Dude, this David kid is seriously badass.
• David Shepherd? Seriously? Isn't that allusion a little heavy-handed? (Especially since Lost is already using that Shepherd one.)
• Whoa, the queen's assistant is displaying a lot of cleavage! This isn't The Tudors. I'm glad the queen had a problem with that too.
• So, is it a coincidence that the king's son acts like Chuck Bass and is played by Sebastian Stan (Carter from Gossip Girl), who is Leighton Meester's real-life boyfriend? Doubtful. I do have to say though that I thought Sebastian was really good in this episode. I guess GG wasn't utilizing his full range by just having him steal money from Nate and get beat up at cotillion.
• He's the freaking king of Gilboa--of course he has a tailor!
• Queen: "Why is it that pretty people are always so bad with details?"
• Not the butterfly story again. This is getting old. (Prince Jack agrees with me.)
• Rev. Samuels: "You're drinking a single malt that God himself only takes out of the cabinet once a year."
• Oh, look, David's a master pianist too! Is there anything this kid can't do?
• King Silas: "Ahh, half my kingdom it is."
• Eesh, so it turns out that King Silas rules with an iron fist. That guy got offed just for standing up too soon.
• Princess: "The human will can take ashes and turn it into ice cream."
• OMG! The prince is gay! I didn't see that coming. I fell for his womanizer act. Aww, poor kid.
• Oh geez--invading right after you sign a peace treaty? That's ballsy (and rather immoral).
• Who was this "whore" that the king loved and "gave up"? I wonder how long until she shows up... Ahh, all of 5 minutes. They sure telegraphed that reveal. And a secret kid too! Silas must be doing a lot of controlling of the press if no one's figured all this out yet.
• Oh, Silas means business when he starts using the royal "we" pronoun.
• Silas wants the Rev. Samuels to declare a fast? Seriously?
• Silas set up the whole kidnapped soldiers thing in the first place (thus almost getting his own son killed).
• Ok, David, hate to argue with you here since you're clearly so distressed, but you are brave. Nobody else went running into the enemy camp to try to rescue the hostages.
• Ok, so you can force a new peace on two countries by going out in the middle of the field and giving a long, flowery speech?
• Silas: "The king's brother-in-law came to congratulate him on the truce."
• Hey, I'll trade this war for another one, because maybe I'll actually understand what's going on in the new one.
• Ha--the queen purposely stages little shows for the press to make it looks like Jack screws all her secretaries.
• Well, of course Jack is going to be in on the plot to overthrow Silas. Any good coup needs somebody with a claim to the thrown.
• Um, David, you probably shouldn't go talk to the princess while you know her dad is watching.
• Oh no, here come the butterflies. This is getting a little silly.

(photos: David--nbc.com; Rolf--Robert Wise Productions for Twentieth Century-Fox Corp.)