Gossip Girl: Yale Canto

Gossip Girl:
"You've Got Yale"

There was literally zero Chuck/Blair interaction, but this episode was still fantastic. There were a variety of factors that made this episode enjoyable, namely: Harold showed up(!), Serena and Blair both wore outfits composed of so much plaid it should be illegal, someone finally told Lily off for treating her children and the memory of her dead husband like crap, Blair fired off more zingers than it was possible to copy down, Vanessa got coughed on, the smarmy uncle was sent packing, and Chuck turned out to be a knight in shining armor.

Like I said, Blair was firing on all cylinders all episode long, so it's no surprise that she had the Quote of the Episode, but--in the style of the Beijing Olympic uneven bars event finals judges--I couldn't pick just one:

Blair: "I am so a better fit for Yale than that Rory!"

and

Blair: "Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies and 14-year-old gymnasts!"

I love that Gossip Girl tossed in the 14-year-old gymnast reference. Not only did they have Nastia Liukin on the show, but now it's like they've got her back and are taking up her cause. Very cool.

Quotes, highlights and observations:

• Ha--Harold, Darota, and Roman all dressed up in Yale attire.
• They bought Blair her own Handsome Dan!
• Blair: "I don't know about the name though. We'll just call him Handsome."
• Blair: "He's as dead to me as his dad is to him."
• Look on the bright side, Serena and Dan; going away to Yale will give you the opportunity to get the hell away from your crazy-ass parents.
• Eric: "I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Remember that."
• If Chuck's still "the face" of the company, then why wouldn't he be sitting in Bart's seats at the opera?
• Since when is Serena's family in the hotel business? Oh, because Bart was in the hotel business? Do they still count Bart as part of their family?
• Does Yale really send out acceptances via e-mail now?
• Oh, poor B. Wait-listed? After all she did for that annoying chick?
• So, now, is Blair really so a better fit that Rory for Yale? I mean, at least Rory got in.
• Eew, why would Chuck want to move into Lily's house if he has to listen to her and Rufus having sex all the time? Yuck. (Actually, now that I think about it, Chuck might be the one person who would enjoy that...)
• So, only one person from Constance can go to Yale at a time? That seems like Yale is really limiting their talent pull. Why not take two awesome candidates just because they're from the same school?
• Blair: "Witch hunts are my Valium. I'm just trying to stay calm."
• Blair: "Now he'll just be lumped in with all the other Financial Aid-iates and poets."
• Eew, why would the board want Lily to have been left in control of the company? Do they know her? That sounds like a seriously bad idea.
• Even if he's all coked up, Jack at least knows that Lily would be a bad company leader.
• Blair didn't apply anywhere else?! Are you kidding me?! Fancy-butt school Constance doesn't make its students apply to more than one school?! Oy vey!
• Lily: "And you got him on Megan's List?"
  Chuck: "If only his apartment were a little closer to a playground."
• #26 on Chuck's list of how to take down Jack is "Crash Jack in plane." (How very Dirty Sexy Money.)
  
• Chuck calls Rufus Lily's "half-price hustler."
• Chuck: "You say you want to be family, but if you meant it, you wouldn't parade your mistress in public."
• Tell her, Charles!!! It's scary when Chuck Bass is so right about something!
• Blair: "Cancel the Nelly Yuki Project now!"
• Oh, come on, what were Nate and Vanessa really laughing so heartily about? I don't believe for a second that either one of them said something that funny.
• Eric talking about the opera (in German) is adorable. Eric is hysterical. He should only have funny lines and not have to try to sell sappy tales like "I just lost my step-father, I don't want to lose my brother too."
• Izzy and Penelope playing the angel and devil on Blair's shoulders was awesome.
• Serena's dress is gorgeous. (Of course I don't need to see that much of her boobs, but it is Serena, so I'm used to it.)
• Dan: "It went from Family Ties to Faulkner in one cocktail."
• Jack: "Who's your lucky escort? Someone you picked up at the funeral?"
• Rufus: "Ahh, kids, God love them. They do things like misread the opera calendar."
• Hey, I've seen an opera from as far back as Nate and Vanessa are sitting, and it's not that bad. Although the lady coughing all over them is not cool at all. But, I gotta say, I kind of love watching Vanessa get coughed on.
• Apparently the van der Woodsens need to get better soundproofing in their penthouse.
• Dan: "Oh, God, where are the boxes with the lids?"
• Harold: "Blair, turn off your phone. Remember the Kevin Kline incident?"
• Blair's dress is lovely too.
• Bye bye, smarmy uncle.
• It is so much colder in New York than any of these people are dressed for. I mean, look at what the actors have to wear between takes.
• Thank goodness Chuck knows how to take action! Rufus just stands around like a nincompoop. Chuck is such a knight in shining armor. (Swoon. I just love that kid.)
• Chuck's big busting-in-and-punching-out-the-bad-guy thing was rather reminiscent of a Logan Echolls or a Ryan Atwood.
  
• Sweet handshake between Rufus and Chuck.
• Wow, Blair is wearing sooooooooooo much plaid! Plaid blouse, plaid skirt, plaid coat. Holy heck. And I thought the outfit Serena was wearing earlier in the episode was plaid-crazy (which is the sole reason I picked the photo of her to put with this entry).
• Serena (about going to Brown): "Oh, and I ordered a home dreadlocking kit." (That does sound like it's right up Serena's alley.)
• Who took a pic of Serena and Dan making out at cotillion? That's kind of creepy.

(photo: cwtv.com)

Premiere Watch '08: Dirty Sexy Money

Dirty Sexy Money: "The Birthday Present"

I'm not nearly as excited about Dirty Sexy Money now as I was last year. I began watching the show in the first place because of Samaire Armstrong (who is awesome), and now her character is only a recurring character. "Personal issues" or not, kicking Samaire off your show isn't a great idea. One of The O.C.'s worst creative decisions was writing off Anna, after all.

Aside from that, I haven't enjoyed DSM as much since it became the Tripp/Simon Elder/Karen saga. I honestly couldn't care less who is manipulating whom in that fustercluck. The Senate race isn't interesting me much either. The Jeremy/Lisa stuff in moderately interesting, but always leads to Lisa and Nick having the "you're going to have to chose between the Darlings and us" conversation, and there's only so many times I really need to hear that.

Other thoughts:

• Wow, a boat is quite the birthday present!
• The scene when the police helicopter flew over and the yacht was given the "Prepare to be boarded!" warning was straight from Arrested Development. Actually, I wish I were watching Arrested Development...
• Jeremy Darling's still thinking about his kiss with Lisa from six months ago? Not sure I believe that.
• Karen is still screwing Simon Elder after six months? Really not sure I believe that.
• Oh no...it's the age-old "I love you"/"Thank you" plot line. If I wanted to see that, I'd watch the New Year's Eve episode of The O.C. Actually, I wish I were watching The O.C...
• Gustav!!!!
• Carmelita's been missing for 6 months?
• Dude (Patrick), your wife (Ellen) wasn't a drunk until you hooked up with the transgendered prostitute; get off your high horse. What an asshat. Are we supposed to feel sorry for him?
• And, since this show is on ABC, here's Lucy Liu!
• Well, I guess that's why you should never try to bludgeon someone while you're wearing stilettos.
• I am not convinced that Simon Elder could have "any woman in New York."
• Why would Tripp have chemists? Isn't he a real estate mogul?
• Oh, holy crap! Lisa finally makes out with Jeremy and Nick pops up to see it? Unlucky.
• Nick doesn't think that going to hang out with Karen is a bad idea? Two wrongs don't make a right, buddy. He is so the Dan Humphrey of this show. Judgemental and annoying.
• Tripp is so sleazy. Brian won't help him out, so Tripp ships off Brian's kid.
• They don't pay this butler guy enough.
• Good for Lisa throwing it all back on Nick.
• Did they even mention Samaire (Juliet) and why she's not around? I missed it if they did.
• Oh, shock, Simon's playing Karen. Who'd have thought. He's apparently not as good as he thinks he is if it took him 6 months to get Karen to fall for him. Hope whoever's in on this plan with him didn't have a strict time table.
• Ahh, so the yacht is a payoff.
• Letitia's getting arrested for the murder of Dutch? The law enforcement officials wait a year since the murder and then have to arrest her on a yacht in front of tons of people?

Premiere Rating: 5.0/10

Premiere Watch '07: Round Up!!!

Well, I'm exhausted. Who knew that blogging about television could be so tiring ;-) It sure didn't help matters that there are now about a billion shows that I wanted to a least sample this season. Here are my rankings for the first episodes of almost everything a whole lot of new and returning shows (scale of 1 to 10):

Pilots:

• Pushing Daisies...............9.5
• Reaper..............................8.5
• Chuck...............................8.0
• Gossip Girl.......................7.5
• Dirty Sexy Money..........7.0
• Samantha Who?..............7.0
• Aliens in America............7.0
• Moonlight.........................6.5
• Kid Nation........................6.5
• Private Practice...............5.0
• Big Shots...........................2.5
• Viva Laughlin...................1.0

Returning Series:

• The Office.........................8.0
• 30 Rock.............................8.0
• Ugly Betty.........................7.5
• Grey's Anatomy...............7.0
• Brothers and Sisters........6.0
• Men In Trees....................6.0
• Heroes................................5.5
• Desperate Housewives....5.0

Whew. It seems like no sooner did we wade through all the premieres, than it's time for November Sweeps! Oh well, bring on the weddings, births, deaths, surprise pregancies, etc....

Premiere Watch '07: 30 Rock

A few weeks after its fantastic 1st season won the Emmy for Best Comedy, 30 Rock picked up right where it left off last year. The second season opener featured a guest appearance by Jerry Seinfeld, and if his appearance on the show can help to hook more viewers on 30 Rock, that will be a victory for us all.

30 Rock's strength is that, like The Office and Arrested Development, it has a great cast of kooky characters with very well-defined niches. Tina Fey is one of my heroes, I've previously documented my unnatural love for Tracy Morgan, Kenneth and Jenna are both perfect for what they are, and Alec Baldwin could not nail this role any harder.

My favorite Tracy moment of episode 1 was when he was explaining how he likes to help transvestite prostitutes better their lives (encouraging them to go to computer school, study to be a court reporter, etc.).

Best line: "You can be a freaky-deeky and still do data entry!"

In a season when several pilots (Big Shots, Dirty Sexy Money) are squeezing all the sleazy jokes they can out of transvestite hookers, it was wildly refreshing to see 30 Rock take the whole theme in an entirely different direction. Thank you, Tina Fey et. al., for having a fresh voice.

Other highlights:

• I enjoyed the computerized Jerry Seinfeld guest appearances in all NBC shows. It seems like everyone else has ended up in Heroes anyway, so why not him?
• Jack: "She needs to lose 30 pounds or gain 60. Anything in between has no place on television." (What's frightening is that, if you think about it, he's completely right.)
• Kenneth was so cute grinning at Jerry Seinfeld.
• Tracy: "Ask my wife if she's sleeping with D.L. Hughley." (Hmm, I'm thinking that this isn't a random mention since D.L. was on NBC's other 'sketch show' show Studio 60.)
• Jack: "Ha ha! You're going to buy NBC! Like you have $4 million just lying around..." (Ouch.)
• Jack: "There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, Lemon."
• Liz sounds like Jerry Seinfeld when she cries.
• Tracy (when he sees Liz in the white wedding dress): "Oh no! Did a Korean person die?"

This episode was a promising start to season 2. As far as I'm concerned, Tina Fey can take over the world.

Premiere Rating: 8 / 10

Wednesday Wrap-Up

Gossip Girl: "Poison Ivy"
This episode was out to prove to us that not only are these kids rich and pretty, but they're also smart. At least some of them are... it doesn't look like Nate's going to be winning any academic decathlons any time soon. I loved though that one of Blair's lackeys turned out to be some sort of science genius! I didn't see that coming.

Best Dan Line:
"Dartmouth is my dream. And I've never asked Dartmouth, but I believe it's dreaming of me."

I seriously love this show:

• Jenny's singing group performing an a Capella version of "Glamorous" was hilarious.
• In my opinion, Nate has very few redeemable qualities, but, in his defense, his father is one ginormous tool.
• If Serena gets into Brown, I wonder if she'll ever run into Summer Roberts, another of Josh Schwartz's creations.
• Look at the belt Blair's wearing with her field hockey uni!
• Gym teacher: "I'm running out of colors here, Blair."
• Chuck: "Why should I be chosen to be an usher? I'm Chuck Bass."
• These kids are phenomenally good at social networking.
• The Ostroff Treatment Center is run by Dr. Donald Ostroff. I'm sure the similarities between his name and that of Dawn Ostroff, head of The CW, aren't coincidental, but I'm not really sure what we're supposed to make of them.
• I liked Eric's attempts to sell his "trip to Florida" cover story: "Go Marlins!" and "Save the manatees!"
• Blair reached a whole new level of bitchiness tonight outing Serena for her alleged rehab stint. At least Blair got her facts wrong and didn't reveal that it was actually Serena's little brother in the center... that would have really been a new low for her, surpassing even the mention of Cedric the Cabbage Patch Doll.
• Mrs. van der Woodsen was a little heavy-handed with the application of her blue eye make-up today...
• Why does Nate always sleep on Chuck's couch?

Dirty Sexy Money: "The Lions"

Ooh, more intrigue among the rich of NYC. It's kind of intense watching all the excess and debauchery of GG and then DSM. We still don't know much about who killed Dutch, and Tripp gave Nick a lead that is steering him in other directions, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Darlings end up right in the middle of it again.

We got some interesting insight into Tripp's character in this episode. He knows about his wife's multi-decade affair with his best friend, but still acts as though he doesn't to spare her feelings. That's actually kind of sweet. The scene where he told Nick to try her birthday as the combination for Dutch's briefcase was wrenching. I wonder if maybe one or two of the "Darlings" might turn out to actually be Nick's half siblings. That would be scary.

Highlights and observations:

• Nick's daughter is not Dakota Fanning's little sister anymore.
• Juliet: "I want to be normal-sized and independent."
• Rev. Brian: "She'll take you back if I have to shoot you at her with a cannon."
• Tripp talking Swedish to the illegitimate son and then saying, "Is he deaf? Was he in the train with his parents when it crashed?"

Private Practice: "In Which Sam Receives an Unexpected Visitor..."

Ok, so, Private Practice: take 3. I'd say this episode was the best so far, but still not great. They really seemed to stumble onto something there with the switched baby story. All of the guest actors playing the parents of the babies were great and the scene between the two mothers was devastating. If the episode had ended there, I'd have been left thinking, "Hmm, that was pretty good!" But the episode did NOT end there, no matter how much we wished it had.

Instead, we had to sit through 10+ more minutes of the annoying main characters being annoying. To a person, the main characters on this show are mopey, whiny and pathetic. I loved it when Cooper told Violet that her "fatal flaw" was "honesty." Because here I've been thinking that her fatal flaw is extreme, paralyzing patheticness! She needs to get a grip now. The guy who dumped her cannot possibly be worth all of this. Also badly in need of a grip is Naomi, whose character was strong and tough in last year's backdoor pilot, but is now just a more surly version of Violet.

And Tim Daly's "I like real women" speech just seemed like awful writing to me. It came out of absolutely nowhere and you could just tell that there was no reason this man would feel the need to give this women this long, heartfelt speech other than the fact that the people behind PP thought that their audience of 40-something women would eat it up. Gag, gag, gag.

And I'm not sure I'd want my doctor to be wearing flip flops.

Premiere Watch '07: Dirty Sexy Money

My favorite description of Dirty Sexy Money was when someone called it the drama version of Arrested Development. AD left some pretty big shoes to fill, but it looks like the Darlings could become just as kooky, immoral and entertaining as our beloved Bluths.

The DSM pilot episode was quite fun. No surprise that I loved Juliet Darling since I'm a big Samaire Armstrong fan. As Juliet, she seems to have much less "sage wisdom" than she did as The OC's Anna, but she's totally nailing her new Paris Hilton-esque character. My other favorite Darling was the Rev. Brian, who is quite the firecracker despite being a man of God! Who says, "I'm sorry Grandpa's dead," to a little girl! Yeesh!

Bullets:

• Juliet: "I'd never want to be blind, but playing blind is really fun."
• The Darlings drink even more alcohol than the Gossip Girl kids!
• $10 million a year for the charitable foundation is a pretty freaking good offer, but by the end of the episode, it doesn't seem like nearly enough.
• Karen (to her fiance): "Nick deflowered me." Yikes!
• The personalized ringtones for each member of the Darlings were funny.
• Nick: "Look, he wrote his name in just now with a crayon!"
• Anything by the Teddybears and Peter Bjorn & John's "Young Folks" are definitely the official songs of pilot season. It's getting ridiculous.
• I guess it's official: money doesn't make you happy.
• I'm pretty sure that (the future senator) Patrick Darling's wife changed mid-episode. When they got out of the limo at the funeral in the beginning, she was definitely Tom's baby momma from Desperate Housewives (Kiersten Warren, also of Saved By the Bell: The College Years...ha ha), but a different lady was talking to Dan Rather at the party. Oops. Pilot recasting strikes again?
• Nick: "Don't you as a United States Senator have to have enough courage to walk into a hotel room and hand a trannie hooker a check!"
• Nick's dad had a 40 year affair with Mrs. Darling! Oh no! I guess we should have seen that coming, especially in light of her meltdown at the anniversary party.
• I know he wants to find the killer of his father, but I really think Nick might want to turn and run away from these people as fast as he can. By the time he solves the murder, his whole life is going to be ruined.
• Ha ha--Jeremy's going to space camp.

All in all, a good start. This show definitely has the potential to be an awful lot of fun.

Premiere Rating: 7/10

2007 Fall Outlook

I'm going to have a lot of television on my plate this fall. Even though three of my favorite shows ever (The OC, Gilmore Girls, and Veronica Mars) were canceled last season, there are still about a million shows that I want to watch. Actually, I'm planning to check out 23 shows this fall. Even I think that's excessive.

Something's gotta give at some point though. Right? Thankfully, Damages is going to wrap up its first season in October, but if everything on this list is still going strong by the time Lost, Kyle XY, Monk, Greek, and Psych come back, I'm going to be screwed.

I'm most excited to see the pilots of all the new shows because we've been hearing about them for almost six months now! It's go time!

The following is a list of shows that I plan on watching (or at least monitoring). I also included a ranking (high, medium, or low) of how excited I am to have each (so far unpremiered) show back.

Sunday:
Desperate Housewives (low), Brothers and Sisters (low)

Monday:

Chuck (high), Heroes (medium -- escaping "low" only because of the addition of David Anders and Kristen Bell to the cast), Aliens in America (medium), Samantha Who? (medium)

Tuesday:

Beauty and the Geek, Reaper (high), Bones (medium), Damages

Wednesday:
Pushing Daisies (high), Private Practice (low), Dirty Sexy Money (high), Gossip Girl, Kid Nation

Thursday:

30 Rock (high), The Office (high), Ugly Betty (medium), Grey's Anatomy (low), Smallville (medium), Without a Trace (low)

Friday:

Moonlight (medium), Men In Trees (medium)

Yikes. And this list doesn't include Viva Laughlin, which I want to watch because it is supposed to be ridiculous and terrible, and Big Shots, which I will try (due to allegiance to Michael Vartan) to watch at least once even though it looks awful.

Hmm. I guess it's good that I really don't have anything else to do...